sopor aeternus interview

7/28/2019 Sopor Aeternus Interview

1/9

A n enigma can have many purposes, some are there to be solved and stand to teachsomething from it s meaning, however some stand to be forever puzzled over andgive introspective through simply the search for answers. The latter of the two wouldprobably best serve as an explanation for the strange yet misunderstood SOPOR

AETERNUS & The Ensemble of Shadows. Since 1989 Anna-Varney Cantodea and herspiritual partners (known as The Ensemble of Shadows) have been baffling us withhauntingly unforgettable music and imagery. It is however the very mystery behindthis embodiment of art that stands to perhaps teach us more about ourselves andour own vulnerability.

I had the distinct honor of interviewing the Goddess herself, opening even my owneyes to her true self. An often razor sharp sense of humor with a hint of sarcasmcannot help to over shadow her direct honesty and realism, mixed with an

undeniable artistic gift stands to set her apart from all other interviews I have done.So without further delay open your hearts and minds, welcome to the world of SOPOR AETERNUS & The Ensemble of Shadows:

DeathWish: There is not much known about your earlier years (i.e. childhood orupbringing) what personal experiences in growing up caused you to choose a life of isolation and draw you into creating music?

AVC: The reason why not much is know about my earlier years (what a term, Imight make that a chapter in my autobiograhy: Anna-Varney, the earlier years. Read it and weep! ) is simply because I am not walking around advertising it. If it is not inmy music, it is of nobody s business. Period.However, your question is not an easy one to answer, because there wasn ta specific single incident that made me the way I am today. As with all shapingprocesses in life it was a combination of everything I encountered ... basically upuntil the age of twelve, when I consciously thought about suicide for the first time. I

remember it quite clearly, as I had never used that word before, but ever since thatday the idea has been with me as a possible option. In fact, I strongly believe thatsuicide is an essential human right, because the only thing that we, as mere visitorson this planet, really and truly own are our individual human bodies ... - the rest ... is

just borrowed . I repeat: the possibility to end your own life is a sacred gift and anessential human right that absolutely NO mortal has the right to take away from you- no church, no doctor, no judge. This is what I believe. So, if you feel like singing,

just join in: It s my body, and I die if I want to ... (die, if I want to, die, if I want to) ... you would wanna die too, if it happened to you! .

One of the many things I had to experience was being brought up in what might


2/9

best be described as a classical double-bind situation ... and that all the waythrough.

DeathWish: You have described in the past about a childhood trauma thathappened while under sedation leading to an out of body experience, can you pleasedescribe the experience?

AVC: That out-of-body experience, though anaesthesia-induced, was anothermanifestation of my general condition: the separation of mind & matter ... or body & soul , if you prefer. I was six years old, and my adenoids (I hope this is the correctEnglish word for those little things you have in your nose ... no, I m not talkingabout piercing-jewellery, kids!) had to be removed. Naturally, I had no idea why,because when I was little, nothing was ever explained to me. In fact, askingquestions always led to some form of punishment (or verbal abuse), which is a verysad, if not to say tragic situation for any inquisitive child, because sooner or later heor she will simply give up and just stop asking. Anyway, I was six and (asa logical consequence of what I learned ) already hated myself. At the hospital Iwas standing barefoot in my towelling pyjama on the cold floor, some doctor wasexamining me, my mother was crying when she left, which alone was proof enoughthat something really terrible was about to happen to me. I was lying in a bed insome grey corridor, and when I said I had to pee, an awfully rude head nurse gaveme something that, what I thought, looked like a tranparent Lenor-bottle. Partiallybecause I felt watched, embarrassed and obviously vulnerable in this far too publiccorridor (and partially because I had already abandoned the commonly expected wayfor a boy to piss standing upright a year prior), not a single drop was falling intothat fake detergent bottle. After a while another nurse (much younger and actuallyquite friendly) came to my bed, lowered my pants and (with a jesting ...and now comes a little bee ) a syringe was injected into my right butt cheek. I cannotremember whether there was a second injection, but soon after that little bee (whichwas in fact a rather accurate description of how it felt like) my bed was moved into

the operation theatre, and I started to get very tired. There were many peoplestanding around the bed, a mask was lowered onto my face, and suddenly I couldnot breathe anymore. I was desperately fighting to get that mask off my face, butthe nurse pressed it down again, admonishing: don t make such an act out of this! ,which was quite a cruel thing to say, because I was absolutely convinced that thesepeople were going to kill me! The last thing I saw was some kind of silver tweezer,and then I was gone ...

... I was floating above the scene, looking down at the tiny body of that innocent boywith all these strange people around him. I felt great compassion for him and a


3/9

sense of urgency, so I screamed: run, get up and run ... what are you waiting for ...get the hell out of there!!! , but the boy didn t move. I felt great disappointment, andmy initial compassion turned to into contempt: you stupid idiot, why don t you try and escape?! If you don t run, you probably don t deserve any better!

That was the moment when my soul and body decided to walk separate ways ...

DeathWish: You have referred to yourself as two-spirited , some might evendescribe the idea as a sort of description of possession, would you say they areaccurate? Could you elaborate on the phrase for us?

AVC: Possession, huh?! Oh dear, what is it you have in mind now? Don t tell me it severybody s favourite: the I am Pazuzu (now give me your crucifix, so I can shove it up my cunt) episode from that hilariously funny Linda Blair show, yes, otherwiseknown as The Exorcist ?! Um, well ... sorry to disappoint you, but ... - no, nothinglike that. Anyway, there certainly was a lot less vomiting involved ... - at least on mypart.Two-spirited (or rather multi-spirited in my case) is simply one of the many terms

to describe a transgendered person. It has nothing to do with being possessed, asthere is no spirit, ghost, demon or Avon-lady that is trying to enter your mind and/orbody. Thinking about it now, I remember Avon-ladies to be a very interesting matterwhen I was a kid, probably because they were not allowed in our house. I was toldthat they only come to whores, but unfortunately it was never exlained to me whatexactly a whore was, but obviously these creatures had some sort of interest inmake-up and perfume ... - much like myself, I thought.

Anyway, and before I am digressing too far, being two-spirited describes a spiritualstate or condition one is being born with. It s like having a foot in both worlds: themale and the female ... or, if you dare to take it a step further: the world of the livingand the realm of the dead. However, the use of this term has become ratherinflationary these days (like it is with so many things, she added sarcastically),

because being two-spirited is a lot more than just being a gay boy/man or a lesbiangirl/woman. But much like being queer , it can be a very isolating (and not tomention frightening ) experience when you grow up, because usually there isabsolutely no role-model you can turn to for help or guidance. In my case: I grew upin a painfully straight environment with straight women and straight men, wherethere was NOTHING whatsoever in-between ... - I felt like an alien that had crash-landed on a hostile planet inhabited my carnivorous primates (and as it turned out: Iwas bloody right).


4/9

To this day I find it to be a rather strange thing when people at the age of 40suddenly realise that they are gay or lesbian, or when people talk about the daythey had their glorious coming-out. I mean, I can empathise, of course, at least to acertain degree ... but what I never understood is: how come they didn t know

before??? And how come that their difference wasn

t obvious to the whole world (atleast on a subconscious level)??? As for me, I have always known. At the age of fivethese things were long crystal-clear to me, even though I had no proper terms toname it. I knew that I was attracted to boys, just as I knew that I wasn t a boymyself (nor a girl for that matter). The first signs of possible future problems beganto rear their little heads when we played family in kindergarten ... and I alwaysended up casting myself in the role of the ugly family DOG.

DeathWish: When asked about surgical changes to your body you have stated thatyou would not do it due to a spiritual conflict , can you please explain how it is?

AVC: I believe you are referring to what is commonly known as sex reassigmentsurgery , and in so far you are correct: I haven t undergone that. Why should I? Thatwouldn t solve anything for me! In fact, it would only create more and totallyunnecessary problems. You see, I do NOT belong to any of the ridiculous categoriesthis pathetic society has to offer ... and I don t wish to. I am neither male, norfemale ... - so what is there to reassign, huh?! I do have an ideal, however, but apartfrom some seedy back-alley doctors (which are naturally out of the question), nosurgeon would ever perform the operations that I desire: the complete andwonderful neutralisation , where nothing is left, nothing but a tiny hole so I can stillpiss. Everything else ... - gone! Yes, such indeed are my dreams.By now I have lived long enough in this prison of flesh to not feel this heavy weighton my shoulders every second of the day (which, if one takes a closer look, is notentirely true, considering the way I am currently crouched over this keyboard). It sonly every now and then, when the mood takes me, the tides come crashing in withfull force and/or I am thinking about my condition for too long ... that I am still

reduced to tears ... - but not very often anymore.I also have never taken any hormones, mainly (and there is that spiritual conflictyou mentioned) because this would mean that I d willingly(!) submit myself into adependency for the rest of my life, because that s exactly how long I would have totake them ... and for a soul desperately struggling to be FREE this is an unbearableperspective!!! (Apart from that, even if I wanted to take those hormones it wouldn tbe advisable, as I recently found out, because of my family s medical history).

DeathWish:I found it interesting that one of your names, Varney, was derivedfrom Varney the Vampire or The Feast Of Blood , though in the book it was rather


5/9


6/9

DeathWish: While you have stated that the music you write is mainly done as aform of therapy for yourself, is there a part of you that hopes it inspires or helps

others who listen to it?

AVC: No, not when I am working. I never think of other people when I am creating.Only when I am literally between two albums, not quite knowing where to go andwhat to do next, is when such thoughts occur. You have to understand that from mypoint of view it is complete nonsense to write any material in order to help otherpeople. It s totally pointless, because all I can really do is to write about myself,honestly and to a certain degree even ruthlessly ... or, as our favourite pale-facedchild-abuser once sang: I m starting with the tranny in the mirror ... - or something

like this.

DeathWish: On a less serious note I understand that you have come to love Darth Vader, how did this infatuation come to be?

AVC: Well, because he is all black and so wonderfully shiny!

But seriously, the blame is on some (French, I believe, though I cannot quiteremember) independent magazine I did an interview for years ago. They tried to be

creative, I suppose, so they closed their questionaire adding a brief game of making-free-associations by throwing this totally clever ( ahem ) list of words at me.The first concept they came up with was black ... - and I immediately was incomplete awe of such overwhelming and totally unmatched creativity.Now, as a good Goth, what was I supposed to reply? DEATH? Deprrrrrression?DARKNESS even??? Grrrrrrr ... - please!!! Give me a break, boys! So, instead, Idecided to play clever bitch and gave them DARTH VADER as an answer.Unfortunately, I had no idea that this would officially turn me into a Star Wars fan.But, that s what wank-a-pedia now says, so I suppose it must be true then.

Funny enough, my Clock Of The Heart -reply to their second term time didn t seemto make anyone s CULTURE CLUB-bells ring ... at all.

DeathWish: There is a great deal of references to Saturn (otherwise known inGreco-Roman mythology as Cronos) in your work, yet unclear if it is merely afigurative figure or an actual symbol of a religiously iconic nature, can you pleaseexplain Saturn s place in your music and personal beliefs?

AVC: No, sorry ... but this is one of the things I am not going to explain.


7/9

DeathWish: Based on some of your writings and interviews some have thought of you as a polytheist, would you say this description is accurate?

AVC: To a certain degree.

DeathWish: Most of your material has been written and produced only by you,however the album La Chambre D Echo was assisted in production by Dead CanDance producer John Rivers, how was this relationship forged and what made youfinally decide to work together with John?

AVC: Oh, where to begin? Hmm, OK ... basics first: all SOPOR-material (that is, if itis not a cover-version) is written & arranged by myself ... yes, our utterly beautiful and most beloved Goddess Anna-Varney Cantodea (may everybody pleasehum the STAR WARS theme now!).

As I mentioned before, recording an album is a VERY intimate act. It requires a safeenvironment and an adequate atmosphere. Interestingly enough, the older I get andthe more albums I record (or, as you might also put it: the more layers I remove),the more sensitive I become to the necessity of these minimum requirements.Before meeting John, the only thing I knew about him was his work for DEAD CAN

DANCE, and though the overall atmosphere of those two particular albums ( Spleen& Ideal and Within the Realm of a dying Sun , which, dear Goth-kids, should betterbe in your music-collection, if you don t want to lose 50% of your precious goth-points) is far more pompous and grand than SOPOR (partially because I don t justsing lu-la-lu-la-ley like Lisa Gerrard has made it her silly trademark), there still is anundeniable link between our music ... - and that certainly was a good place to start,because nothing is worse than having to work with someone who has absolutely no idea about what you are trying to achieve. When I eventually phoned him up to getmore info on his studio-equipment, the sound of his voice (and the vibration I picked

up) ensured me that I was going to be in good hands there.

The term producer is actually a rather wishy-washy one, and I wouldn t besurprised that, if you asked ten different music producers to define their job, youwould end up with ten different answers. If you look at the first editions of SOPOR searlier albums, you will discover that I have never even used the term producedanywhere in the credits, mainly because I never liked that word in the first place(and I also had no clue what it really meant).Renting studio-time is VERY expensive and (aside from the specific spiritual concept

of my work) this alone is reason enough for me to not enter a studio until I am fullyprepared. In other words: I only book a studio when the album is 100% finished (in


8/9

theory that is), so that all that s left to do is to actually record and eventually mix it.In private, I never listen to music on speakers, only through headphones. This, plusthe circumstance that I am not used to the specific sound of the studio-monitors ...in addition to the fact that the time is strictly limited, makes me require a good

audio-engineer, someone, who can get me the sound I want and who helps medoing the mix ... - this is what I need John for. Occasionally he also makessuggestions, and occasionally I do not say: No, how dare you .By now we have recorded five albums/EPs, and luckily we seem to get along so far.

DeathWish: The photography for the album was done at Der Narrenturm, was thisunder your request or that of photographer Joachim Luetke? Why was such a placedecided on using for a photo shoot?

AVC: I honestly cannot remember who came up with the idea for the location. Iknow one criteria was that it had to be somewhere in (or close to) Vienna, simplybecause that s where Joachim lives. Once we decided that the Narrenturm (a federalpathologic-anatomical museum that is partially open to the public) could be a niceidea, Joachim went to see the person in charge to ask for permission. Apparentlyquite a number of artists (note the quotation-marks!) had inquired before, butusually only received a big no for an answer. As you can imagine, the institute hasno desire whatsoever to satisfy the ego-trip of any sicko, who happens to call himself an artist ... - and this sort of place naturally attracts so many of them.

Anyway, we were allowed in, and the entire stuff under headmistress Dr. Patzak turned out to be surprisingly friendly and helpful (once they realised that we actually

ARE artists). The result of the two days session was a brilliant 128-pages book/art-print that visually completed the music of the album La Chambre d Echo Where thedead Birds sing .Generally speaking, the actual location of a photoshoot is almost secondary in thecase of SOPOR, as the result will always suit the concept of the album in question -simply because of the energy we allow to flow.

DeathWish: In your music you have used a wide variety of musical instruments,from string quartets to synthesizers and drum machines. I have to wonder where didall of your musical training on such a wide variety of musical tools come from?

AVC: Oh, I just do it.

DeathWish: Your material on the compilation Jekura-Deep the Eternal Forrest wasactually released under the band name of WHITE ONYX ELEPHANTS was therespecific reason for breaking from the name SOPOR AETERNUS & The Ensemble of

Shadows for these releases?


9/9

AVC: I needed to create WHITE ONYX ELEPHANTS in order to bridge the gapbetween the early demo-recordings and the first proper SOPOR-album TodeswunschSous le Soleil de Saturne . I cannot explain why. I just needed to do this.

DeathWish: In closing you have been creating musical compositions since 1989,when listening to your music s evolution through the years what thoughts come tomind on your own personal growth and experience in writing and recording thematerial?

AVC: Well ... it hasn t really changed ... nothing has ... because people simply do notchange (though they like to believe otherwise). A while ago I was listening to the2001 album Songs from the inverted Womb , and to my surprise I realised thatessentially it is the same thing as Les Fleurs du Mal from 2007. I mean, yes, music,

lyrics, sound and atmosphere are all entirely different ... but essentially it is thesame. You can really tell that they are siblings ... - well, I can, anyway.

A good album should be (amongst other aspects, that is) kind of like a tombstone ...a sepulchre, where a part of the artist lies buried. You see, a rough translation of thetitle of SOPOR s first CD-release reads: I kill myself each time, but I am immortal,and I shall resurrect ... - in a vision of Death .

I think this should give you a good idea about the universe I live in.

sopor aeternus interview

Documents