Whoops.IknowElainewantedtogetstraightbacktoHER,butinsteadwe’rebacktotheLegacyHouse.

PenelopegottheicecreamstoretoLevelTen,butwesBllhavetogetthetoystorethere.Becausewhiletheheiresshastohaveabusiness,thetoystoreistradiBonalforourLegacy,sowe’restuckwithit.FlorenceDelarosamakesagoodcustomer.IkeephopingKillickwillgetherasadatedrop,butheneverdoes.

Aprimeexampleof“whenyoudon’tplaythegame,thegameplaysyou”:theAlmightyRobinolihasn’tupdatedIt’saLegacyDarling!sincelongbeforetherebuild,andIhaven’tevenheardfromherinages,butshe’ssBllmarriedtomysciencenerdspareMorBmer.

Becausewithouther,myneighborhoodwouldbesad.

Killick:Whichyouisgonnabuysomethin’acosI*&*(&in’wantstogohomean’hosedownthescuppers,see?Sophia:Fine.I’llbehappytobuyanythingaslongasyoustopbeingcolorful.(DidyouknowKillickisactuallySophia’sgrandmother’ssecondhusband?Strangebuttrue!)

See?Elaine’ssBllinbed.Shedoesn’tevenknowweleU.

Herbedroomreallyisinaturretwithpinkfairiesonthewalls.It’sjusthardtogetpicturesofit.

Gawaine:See,Princess?Evenyourdollhousehasaturretonit!

Elaine:“Iwuvyou!”“No,Iwuvyou!”“Mwah!”“Mwah!”Gawaine:Herecomesthebraveknightonhishorsie!Oh,look!He’ssaying“CUTTHATOUT.”

Palomides:Idon’tmindbabysi\ngyouandhelpingyoulearnLogic.I’mmean,beingLegacyHeiressisabigresponsibility.It’slikebeingthemostimportantpersoninourli]leworld.Buthey,nopressure.

Palomides:MayIhaveanicedate,please?BecauseI’vereallyearnedit.

PalomidesgotAileenFuta,whoreallyismuchcuterasagirl.

Palomideswasalsowaytoosneakytoletmegetapictureoftheswirlyhearts,buthegothisfirstkissonthefirstdate,plusahugeloadofAspiraBonPoints.

HealsohidunderneaththeceilingfixturesoIcouldn’tgetapictureofthecrushhearts,either,butAileen’salmostcuteenoughwithhimtosendhertoUniversity.

IthinkAchillesreallyregretsthatthisSimisMerlinFancey,insteadofMelissaFancey,here,butthat’swhathappenswithgender‐reversing.

Telemachus:So,Daddy,doesbeingSqueakyCleanmeanyounevergoondates?

Nausicaa:Idon’tthinkyoushouldaskDaddyquesBonslikethatatdinner.Telemachus:‘CauseUncleAchillesalwayshasgirlsovertothehouseandhetellsmetogoplayandthere’shonkingnoisesandI’mwonderinghowcomehedoesandyouneverdoandyouhaveusandhedoesn’t.

Nausicaa:TELEMACHUS!

Clearly,somethingmustbedone.

Ulysses:Somaybeyou’dliketogoonanofficialdatesomeBmebeforemykidsarebothinhighschool?Becauseyoucansayno.I’dreallyunderstandthat,thatwouldbeok...What?

Gulp.

Ulysseshasneveraskedanyoneonadatebefore.Theonlydatehe’severhadwasCarmilla’sidea,sohereallywantedtobeallromanBcandsuavewithDocNerd.Andeverythingwasgoingverywell.YounoBcehowyoucan’tseeCountBlahbackthere?

Well,nowyoucan.

CountBlah:BLEH!!!

Ulysses:Youreallygiveothervampiresabadname,youknowthat?

Yeah,talkaboutruiningthemood.DidyouknowthatifavampireBLEHsyourdateandtheylosebladdercontrol,thedateinstantlygoesinthetank?

EmergencyacBonmustbetakenorDocNerdwillbebackwithaflamingbagofpoo.

RomanBcfirstkiss,foronething,andI’msurenoonewillevennoBcethemysteriouspuddlebackthere,whichwasprobablycausedbyaPrank.

ButthatsBllisn’tenoughtosavethedate,andUlyssesisforcedtotakedrasBcmeasures.

DocNerd:I’vealwaysthoughtyourcousinTituswaswaaaaycute.

1.  Ulyssesisoutofthehousenow,and2.  WhileI’msurehewouldhavewaitedunBlhewasmarried,he’snot

goingtogetmarriedifhedoesn’t.

3.  Doesn’twhat?Nevermind.

Aw,goon,Doc.Makeanhonestvampireofhim.

Becausehereallywouldlikeyouto.

Doc:Oooooo!CanIbeawerewolfnow?

Toldyouso.He’shadthatwantcementedinhisWantPanelforages.

Ulysses:AnditturnedouttobeaperfectdateaUerall!Hey,what’sthatsound?

Somebodyhavingafightinside?

CassiusandKennedyCox.Don’taskme,Idon’tknow.IwasbusytendingUlyssesandDocNerdandtherewasacutawaytoafight,butIdidn’thaveBmetolook.

DGwasbusytalkingtoEddieLegacyaboutsmoochesandDocNerd—

DocNerd:‘Scuseme,boys.

Um—youdon’twanttogohomeandtakeashower,maybechangeyourjeans?

AUerthat,itwasclearlyBmeforacelebratoryjamsession.

NottoomuchgoesonatUlysses’andAchilles’house.Ulyssessleepsduringtheday,Achillesdatesandgoestoworkatnight‐‐

‐‐andthekidsskill.Sothere’snotalottoshowexceptforhowcutetheyare.

That’snotstrictlytrue.WhenUlyssesisawake,heenjoysplayingchesswithTelemachusandhelpinghimtobuildLogic.

TheLegacykidsareinvitedoveralot,andElainemakesfriendswitheveryone.

Nausicaa:AndIboughtacellphone!HowexciBng!AndeverythingyousayisinteresBng!Clappyclap!

NausicaaalsoFallsInLovewithLeo,butI’msBllnotsoldontheideaofhisgoingtocollege.Sorry.

ThoughIwasimpressedbyhisleavinganicetelescope‐‐

Whichismuchbe]erthanwhatoneofAchilles’datesleU;aMr.Bearlybu]s,whichhastobethestrangestdategiUI’veeverseen.

Telemachusalsohadalargebirthdayparty,withplentyofguests.Not,ofcourse,otherchildren;hisdaddyUlyssescan’tbeupbeforesevenandkidsgohomeatsix.

Telemachus:Yayyayyay!IGrewUpWell!

JustGrowUpInteresBng.

InteresBngenough?

HerolledFamily,EducaBonMinister.Incidentally,IerroneouslyreportedthatPalomideswantedtobeEducaBonMinister.Hedoesn’t.HewantstoGraduateThreeChildrenFromCollege,butthen,DinadanwantsSixGrandchildren,sonoproblemthere.Whatdoyouthink,DocNerd?InteresBngstepson?

DocNerd:Iguess.IthoughtI’daskMaxhowhisresearchiscomingalong.

Achilles:Imissedtheparty?

Onlysomeoftheparty,andyoumadeyoursecondLTW,soitwasworthit,Ihope.

Nausicaa:SoyourolledFamily?You’resure?

Telemachus:Yes,I’msure.AreyousureaboutPleasure?Becauseyoudon’tseemlikethetype.

With10NicePointsandZeroOutgoing,no,shedoesn’t.SheshouldhavebeenKnowledge.“Butyoudowantdiversity,right?”Sigh.Right.Andbesides,youcanhavedifferentsortsofpersonaliBeswiththesameAspiraBon.

Imean,hey,lookatZaneandLenore.He’smuchtooNiceandshe’smuchtooMeanandthey’rebothFamilyand...

...Hey.Cutthatout.

Itmusthavebeenthesmellofthegarbage.

Lenore:Hey,Zane,youfellinlovewithmewithoutge\ngpermission!Congrats!

Lenore:NofearofretribuBon?NoovercompensaBon,maybe?

Zane:Um...what?

Theydefinitelydidnotaskmypermissiontodothis,andIwasverycrosswithZaneforgoinginforaRomanBcHugthesecondhewasonthelot.

Thisnextbitwasn’ttomakeZanehappy.ItwastomakeLenorehappy....

‐‐whichitdid,asyoucansee.

Idon’tthinkI’veletanySimsgosteadysinceQuinandGiselle,andthatwasGeneraBonFour.

BrodyLegacina:Youdon’timportLegacySimsandgivethemmoreorlessexactlywhattheywant.Uh‐huh.Youkeeptellingyourselfthat,Prof.

Brody:Hi.IwasjuststrollingbyandIthoughtI’dbargeinandaskwhatit’sliketobeawerewolf.

Jane:Whatit’slike?

Jane:Moreorlesslikethis.

Brody:ThatmayhavebeentoomuchinformaBon.

...Ok,whatdoesitfeelliketobeawerewolf?

Jane:Moreorlesslikethis.

Jane:How’sthat?

Brody:Huh.Notbad.I’mreallyannoyedwithyounow,butIthinkI’llinvitemyselftodinnerfirst.

Zane,haveyoutakenagoodlookatthishouse?Imeanagood,hardlook?

Zane:Um...Um....GOSH,Mrs.Midlock,thissureisgoodturkey.

Somepeopleareglu]onsforpunishment.

Max:Hello,grandpapa.YouandMamaarrivedsafely?

Cecil:Naturally.

Max:And Mama?  Is she well?  You know I thought this journey very unwise. 

Cecil:She is extremely well and fully aware of her surroundings. 

Max:Hm.IgraduatedwithamedicaldegreeSummaCumLaude,andyet,Grandpapa,Ihavenoideawhatitmeanswhenyousaythat.

Cecil:IalwayssaypreciselywhatImean,Maximilian.Youhaveneverheardmeu]eradeliberateuntruth.

Max:No doubt that’s true.  Where was it this Bme, Grandpapa?  Back to the volca— 

Cecil:Donotspeakofthat.

Cecil:Infact,ItookyourmotherforamedicalconsultaBon.

Max:Really.  I’m sure that went swimmingly.

Cecil:AdmiJedly, Cecilia was slightly disconcerted by the doctor’s iniBal appearance. 

Cecil:IhaveeveryconfidencethatyouwillbeabletoprovideacompleterecoveryformydaughterCecilia.

Indigenousphysician:Oh,really.Isthatbecauseyouhaveconfidenceinme,orinmyculture’smedicalsystem,orinyourabilitytobuyanythingyouwant,orinyourownimperialarrogancetoarrangetheuniversetoyourliking?

Cecil:Iwouldprefertheterms“self‐disciplineandclarityofobjecBve,”butonthewhole,mostlythela]er.

IndigenousPhysician:Iamsorry.Perhapstheclimateandourdietoffruitsandvegetablesmaybeofsomeslighthelp,butthereisnothingIcandoforher.AndIwould,inspiteofyou,forhersake,butIcannot.

IndigenousPhysician:If it is any consolaBon to you, she seldom feels pain.  She is both a child and an old, old woman.  It is very sad. 

Cecil:This is, no doubt, why you were juggling during your consultaBon.

IndigenousPhysician:Iamsorry.ThereisnothingIcandoforherhere.YouwillhavetoseekmybrotherofTakemizu.

IndigenousPhysician.Ican,however,sendyouonyourwaywiththis.

Cecil:Ah.ThiswouldbeaformofherbalmedicaBon,wouldit?

IndigenousPhysician:No.It’sadoll.

Cecil:Adoll.

Howminimallyhelpful.

Cecil:Adoll.Wouldyoucreditit?Heabsolutelyrefusedtobeofanyassistancewhatsoever.

Max:Orisitpossiblethatthereisnothinghecoulddo?Nothingthatanyonecando,perhaps,includingyou?

Max:OrisitpossiblethatI,asatrainedmedicalprofessional,wouldhavebeenabletoaskhimaboutremediesthatwouldhavebeenofsomeusetosomeoneotherthanMama,perhaps?Perhapsevenofusetoher?‐‐butyoudidnotknowwhatquesBonstoputtohim?

Cecil:Hm.

No,thatisnotpossible.Idonot,however,knowwhomhemeantby“mybrotherofTakemizu.”

Max:HemusthavemeanttheWiseOldManofTakemizuVillage.Thatistheonlyequalhewouldhavethere:inthatsense,hewouldbea“brother.”

Max:ButyouwillnottakeMamathere?Notdirectlyfromtheisland,surely?Surelyyouwouldnotrecklesslyendangerherandyourselfto‐‐

Cecil:Thankyou,Maximilian.Youhavebeenmosthelpful.Iregrettotellyouthatmycellphoneisbreakingup.

Cecil:Come,child.

Max:TheWiseOldManofTakemizu?WhatcouldhedoforMama?Thereisnothinganyonecando.

‐‐isthere?

AttheLegacyHouse,lifeisproceedingmuchmorenormally,withKillicktrainingthecats.

Killick:WhichyewillRollOver,Taffy,an’doitrightsharp‐likeorI’llkeel‐haulye.

Taffy:PRRrrrrrrr.Catsknowanemptythreatwhentheyhearone.

Palomides:Hithere,Mrs.OrikesMarius.I’mhelpingDadoutandwe’retryingtogetthestoretoLevel10,sowouldyoubuysomethingandgiveussomeloyaltystars?Orikes:Ofcourse.

Palomides:Great!Andcanyourecommendustosomefriendsofyours?

Ian:Hmmm.Maybeapinballmachine.

Palomides:Oh.Wedon’thaveone.Ian:Idon’tbuyjustanything.I’mpicky.Palomides:Oh,geez.Howaboutanornamentalreindeer?Ian:Well....Allright.

Dinadan:RubyBlue,wouldyoupleasebuyateddybear?

Dinadan:Justone?Anddecidetolikeit?JustonemoreloyaltystarandIcangetbacktomywifeandfamily,whichI’mreallygladtohavebecauseyounevergotaroundtogivingmeone,notthatI’mcomplaining.

RubyBlue:Well,howcanIsaynotothat?Youreallyareoneofmyfavorites,Dinadan.

Dinadan:Thanks;you’reapal!

AndRubyBluedoesindeedgiveusthemagiclaststar—Ibelieveit’sthe122nd—whichbringsTyke’sTowerToystoLevelTen.DinadanquicklymadeMorrisBende]themanagerandhehasn’tbeenbacksince.

Gawaine:Andthegoodthingaboutthat,Palomides,isthatyouearnedaSilverSalesBadge,whichwiththemodsinthisgame,givesyouanaddiBonalscholarship.

Palomides:Really?Wow!

Gawaine:Thatwillcomeinhandy,sincewe’regoingtocollegeinafewdays.

Elaine:Havelotsofthingsbeenhappeningwithoutme?

Yes,butweweren’tgoingtotakeyoutothebusinessesjustyet.

Elaine:Whynot?Iwouldhavegiventhecustomersanicesmile.See?

Elaine:AndIwouldhaveworkedhard.I’mnottooprincessytomakemyownbed;look!

OK.Maybewe’lltakeyoutotheicecreamstorewhenyou’reolder.

Elaine:AndIcouldhaveearnedallmypointstheold‐fashionedway,too!I’mnotspoiled!I’mnot!

OK,wegetit.There’snothingwrongwithdrinkingeggplantjuice.That’showyourUncleUlyssesearnedskillpoints.

Ah,andhere’sKai.Oneextraboy.

Penelope:He’snotextratome.Areyou,sweeBe?GiveMommyonelastsnuggle.

Kaiactuallyisn’ttreatedasanextra.HisuncleUlyssesgrewupinclothinglikethis,andhisfriendTelemachuscameoverforaniceparty.

Kai:Pssst!Wannaknowasecret?

Elaine:Yeah!What?Kai:Palomidessaidwewereoutofmedievalcustomcontent!AndhesaidI’dhavetowearthedragoncostume,butIfoundthisraggypeasantouqitinstead!Surefooledhim!*snerk*

Elaine:Yes—I’mgladthatmakesyouhappy.

Elaine:DearDiary:Todayismybirthday,andI’mhappy,butI’mali]lescared.EveryonesaysIhavetosucceed,andI’mnotsureIcan.WhatifIdisappointeverybody?

ButI’mgoingtobeateenagerandthatwillbeabigadventure.There’ssomethingI’vealwayswanted,andmaybenowI’llknowwhatitis.

Itisabigevent,withElaine’sgrandmathere,andalsoRegina,whoistheplaceholderatGoodygirls.

Elaine:Can I do it?

Elaine:Adventure.  And everything I’ve ever wanted, whatever it is.

Elaine:And I love all of you so much.

Elaine:...Love.

Yourolled...Romance.You’rethefirstSqueakyCleanheiressevertorollRomance.

Elaine:It’snothingbad.Ijustwanttobeloveandbeloved.

Regina:Romance.

Elaine:Isthataproblem?Haven’tyouhadaRomanceSimatGoodygirlsbefore?

Regina:Well,yes—butnotaRomanceheiress.  That’sali]lebitdifferent.

Elaine:Youmean....Youdon’tthinkwecanhaveparBes?Regina:Oh.OH.ParBes.WHEW.

Telemachus:OK,Igetit,youwanteveryonetoloveyou,butwhycouldn’tyouhaverolledFamily,likeme?Wewantlove.

Elaine:It’snotexactlythesame.IwantRomanBcLove.Telemachus:OrmaybePop?Theywanttobelikedbylotsandlotsofpeople.YoucouldtalktoGawaineaboutit.

‐‐onsecondthought,DON’TtalktoGawaineaboutit.He’llhittheceilingwhenhefindsout.

Gawaine,luckily,isoblivious.

Gawaine:Packyourbags,Percy!It’sBmetotakethequesttoUniversity!We’vedelayedthismuchtoolong.

Parsifal:Iwaswillingtoaccedetoyourrequestthatweremainforoursister’sbirthday.Ihavealreadypacked,thusdemonstraBngbothcourtesyandpromptness,thepolitenessofprinces.ButevenmynaturalsenseofcharityisstrainedandIwonderifyouwillconBnueyourbarbaricbehaviorwellintocollege.Gawaine:Probably.

Let’shaveonelastfamilyphoto,whichsadlydemonstratesmyinabilitytodothese.

Elaine:AndwithLove,Icandoit.Andwithoutit,whatamI?

Elaine the pure, Elaine the loveable, 

Elaine, the lily maid of Astolat, High in her chamber up a tower to the east Guarded the sacred shield of Lancelot. . .  

. . . Day by day,  Leaving her household and good father, climb’d That eastern tower, and entering barr’d her door.  . .  

. . . So she lived. . .  

. . . In fantasy. 

(Elaine of Astolat—Louis Rhead.)ThankstoallthosewhoseSimsandSimselvesmadeappearances:RubyBlue,hersimself,DinadanLocks,Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs; PurpleBunny,hersimself,JackBuccaneer,PiraBcal Legacy; DocNerd,hersimself,VeBnari Dualegacy; Peasant007,Zane(Devereaux)Jacquet,Devereaux Legacy; Orikes,hersimself,IanandBrodyLegacina,Pseudo Legacy.