Surviving A Bully’s Impact-Part 2

The bully’s photo resonated with violence; as he stood

masked in a bandana like a gangster, holding his military

knife as blood trickled from the self-inflicted cuts across

his tattooed chest.

Then the tone went off again and I knew something was

wrong as Dax responded, “Bitch, I don’t even know

you.” (2011)

In the middle of the night I jumped out of bed in alarm

and ran into Dax’s room only to be confronted by my

son’s words “Stop spying on me...Don't worry about

it...I can handle it...Get out of my face and go back to

bed!” (D. Catalano, 2011) as the bully’s words began to

transform Dax into someone I did not know.

But as a mother, I was determined to not let this incident

go quietly in the night.

To quote the former Miami Herald Journalist Dave

Barry, “To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world

more embarrassing than a parent” (1997) and shortly

after Dax made sure I was blocked from his Facebook

page.

Dax recollects his mistake:

“It was a terrible feeling not knowing who is coming

after you and not be sure why they are. I never realized

back then that I was a victim of terrorizing and cyber

bullying. I thought I could handle it on my own, but I

was wrong.” (2012)

We would later find out that Jacob Estes who was

“defending a friend” assaulted Dax because Dax was

taking his new girlfriend out for Chinese food and the

ex-boyfriend was “jealously enraged.”

We had first approached the High School for help back

in January, 2011 with the threats my son had received

over the internet, but neither the school nor the liaison

officer could help since the bully was not a student.

Nor could the local police help since the cyber-threat

was not enough to get a protection order from the

courts.

We were told their hands were tied unless Dax was

physically touched. And then it happened on March 1,

2011 and we were left wondering where was the help as

our son lay in the hospital bed fighting for his life…

We were left abandoned by those who’s duty it was to

protect and serve with nowhere to turn for help.

“Sanchez writes, “Do we not think it is as serious

because it takes place in cyberspace and not face to

face?… It's happening everywhere and it follows

kids home—occurring at any hour of the day or

night. Cyberbullying is hurtful enough and affecting

kids enough that its victims have turned to suicide

or violence just to make it stop.” (as cited in

Prosecuting Cyberbullies, 2010).

“God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond

your strength but with your testing he will also provide

the way out so that you may be able to endure it”

(1 Corinthians 10:13).

All I know is that God must still have big plans in store

for my family since Recovery Road has not been easy.

Once discharged from Maine Medical Center, Dax

required follow ups with his neurosurgeon,

neuropsychological therapy, CT scans, counseling,

months of physical therapy and other medical treatment.

Furthermore, Dax suffers from difficulty sleeping,

fatigue, and a reduced ability to concentrate. His

headaches continue and he only finds relief with sleep.

Dax was unable to return to Lewiston High School

for his Senior Year.

Instead, the school though it was best to move Dax

into Lewiston Academy since he had “fallen so far

behind” after missing 4 months from school to

recover.

We were given no choice.

After the assault, some students had planned

retaliation against those involved in plotting Dax’s

assault and the school had to call in help from the

local police to settle the students down.

The students were silenced and told “Shush, we do

not speak about this (or mention Dax’s name).”

Instead of embracing this as an educational

opportunity, the school just wanted to “bury this in

the sand.”

Dax’s inability to now keep up with his classmates

due to the complications of a Traumatic Brain Injury

left us seeking a 504 plan to accommodate him in

reaching graduation.

Yet, after lost paperwork and over a year of excuses

and time delays from Lewiston High School the 504

plan evaluation was completed when we sought help

from the Disability Rights Center – Maine and Atlee Reilly, Esq.

Despite the obstacles with Lewiston High School,

Dax graduated in August (2012) from Lewiston

Academy.