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Step (original fic by 567) - http://tieba.baidu.com/p/1992803667?pn=1

Translated by xingxiu@tumblr | fenshen@lj

All members, main Lu Han

Friendly Disclaimer (from author): This work is purely a piece of fiction and bears absolutely no

relation to the original people nor the company

Translator's Summary: What if you had a way to go back to the past? At a cost, of course. When Lu

Han inadvertently stumbles upon just such a way, he initially vows to never return. But after a

tragedy occurs, Lu Han might just change his mind. The catch? Each step back costs 15 years of his

life. | Canon/Non-AU

Translator's Note: Step is a Chinese fic written by the same author who wrote 48 hours. The

original fic is ~87k in Chinese and consists of 14 chapters, chapter 0, and an epilogue. I'm

translating this a) because of requests and b) I greatly admire her characterisation and world

building, and of course, story telling skills. Please keep in mind that narrative in Chinese is vastly

different from English by its very nature. While I've made every attempt to retain a natural flow in

English, I didn't want to detract from the original author's tone. That said, please enjoy, and I hope

that you'll enjoy reading this as much as I did.

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Chapter 0

The boy sat on the ground, wretched, his clothes in slight disarray, his head resting against the wall

behind him. He laughed, unable to suppress it any longer.

Not far above his head was a small and delicate, yet long and thin telescope, its lens pointed

towards a scene no photographer would ever let go; a towering stone wall, a lovely blue sky dotted

with white clouds.

But the telescope wasnt directed towards that, instead, it was focused on the tangle of mud and weeds in the cracks of the stone wall that no one would ever notice, and among those weeds were a

dense array of nails hammered in to the wall.

A boy was standing by the wall, unrelenting in his efforts. The nails, remnants of his attempts, were

scattered as he tried different places, different distances between each nail. The birds which soared

through the sky called out to this frequent visitor theyd come to know, as if in tribute to his efforts.

The sun shone down on his youthful forehead as the wind slipped by his face, exposing the beauty

of both nature and life. A drop of sweat trickled down his forehead. With a nail in hand, he took two

weary steps back as he surveyed the stone wall, riddled with thousands of scars.

The boy sitting on the ground couldnt stop himself, the back of his head pressed against the wall as he guffawed with laughterperhaps there was a tinge of hoarseness in that sound, but who knows? After who knew how long, although there was probably no one who cared how long it was, he

seemed to tire, and so, the sound of laughter stopped and the room gradually regained its former

silence.

Idiot. He shut his eyes. Whatre you doing, still hammering nails?

He laughed quietly, as a drop of something trickled down his face. The key in his hand followed that

drops, as they both fell lightly to the ground.

[17.03.2013]

If, one day in March, you happened to have a day off and it was a lovely day with beautiful weather,

perhaps youd wonder what sort of wonderful things God had planned for you, such as meeting some long estranged lover from your past. All stories are painted with different scenes, and this old

lover youve imagined, well, you would definitely not meet them at the stock market, and the prince and princess living happily ever after from the fairy tales would definitely not appear on that old

boat by the sea. Lu Han whistled as he grabbed the mail, glancing at the bright and sunny sky. This

was a great day for outdoor activities, he thought.

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Holding the bundle of mail, Lu Han looked about as he strolled up to the second floor room, kicking

the door shut on his way in. Looking up, he saw the two heads clustered in front of the computer,

and tossed two of the letters onto one of the beds.

I brought your mail. Standing in the middle of the room, he carefully inspected this months

cellphone bill.

Master Lu is becoming more and more considerate by the day. The one standing in front of the

computer still hadnt looked back, resting his left hand on the seated persons shoulder, the corner of his lips quirked in a smile.

You might as well move into our room. Lu Han glanced at the two beside him, and continued to

skim over his bills.

Your rooms too small. A rather distinct sound of dismissal floated over from that direction.

Living rooms big. The seated person spoke up, chuckling. Should we move there together? Lu Han, silently and helplessly, and somewhat out of habit, shook his head in exasperation.

Standing up, Kris flopped over onto Lu Hans bed and began to open his mail one by one. Lu Han kicked him. You, get off. Used to it, Kris didnt react, still focussed on the mail. Your bed's full of germs. Whats one more?

Lu Han looked like he was about to explode as he made to beat Kris up, when Zhang Yixing also fell

over sideways onto Lu Hans bed, his expression teasing the boundaries of Lu Hans patience.

Lu Han backed up helplessly and sat down utterly defeated onto Kriss bed, and in retaliation, kept his shoes on. The other two stared at him, and after a few moments, he couldnt help himself as he took off his shoes. The other two exploded with laughter.

If you really feel that bad about it, you can wash my sheets later, Kris said, waving his laundry card.

At his limit, Lu Han stalked over angrily to the table and sat down to surf the web.

Kris picked up the envelopes. The first seemed to be the standard bank statement, and after a quick

glance at the numbers at the bottom, he tossed it onto the bed. The second was an advertising

pamphlet of sorts. Kris squinted as he read out each word in halting Korean: Hikers Association,

Your Number 1 Choice for a Healthy Lifestyle. He glanced at Zhang Yixing.

Howd they know youre in subhealth*? Yixing asked, quirking his lips.

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No idea, maybe cause Im too handsome. Kris stood by the window, straightening his collar.

Huh? Then they wouldnt send it to you, theyd send it to me. Lu Han took the pamphlet from him on it was printed a breathtakingly beautiful landscape. They probably figured out you were in subhealth based on something else. Lu Han continued to read the blurb without batting an eyelash.

Kris glanced at Yixing. Looks like hell need at least two days before he calms down.

Doubt it. Yixings expression said that he wasnt too optimistic about it. Two days is if one person is on his bed for under a minute. Right now theres two of us, plus, I still havent gotten up.

Then why dont you get up already? Kris couldnt help but remark with a chuckle.

Hey, Im covering for you here, okay? Yixing laughed as well.

Taos long legs kicked open the front door of the second floor. We finally get a day off with good weather, and turns out that you guys are just spending your time in here While saying so, he walked into Kris and Lu Hans room. He glanced at the two lying on the bed, and Lu Han who was still calmly fixed on the computer, finally uttering three syllables. Indecent.

Lu Han nodded first in agreement, then shook his head in disapproval.

So what if were being indecent, why dont you join us? Kriss voice floated over lazily, accompanied by Yixings clear laughter.

Please be indecent on your own bed. Lu Han stared at the computer screen.

Duizhang, Im bored. Tao shook his head as if he couldnt stand the stupidity of the people around him, tugging at Kriss sleeve as he spoke.

What? Kris brushed off his own sleeve. My clothes are expensive, okay?

Tsch, its just your clothes. You let them cut it up on programs, youre only all expensive, expensive

when it comes to me. Taos expression was full of disdain. Go shopping with me.

Kris turned around, kicking lightly at Yixing and reaching out to tap Lu Han. Together?

Nah, thatll be too much trouble. Yixing stood up. Itll be alright if its just the two of you, but with the two of us, well, were too popular, theres no way something wont happen.

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Kris didnt have the energy to retort, turning instead to question Lu Han with his eyes. Lu Han

waved at them with the pamphlet still in his hand and blinked. May your dreams remain unscarred!**

Tao shook his head in exasperation. Youre all hopeless. Theres not a single normal person in our

entire Chinese group!

Good luck finding one in the Korean group, Lu Han said as he slid the cursor rapidly around with

the mouse. Be prepared though, there arent many normal ones there either.

Dont say that, Sehuns pretty normal. Yixing laughed as he patted Lu Han, meeting Lu Hans narrowed eyes as he slowly turned around.

He pinched Yixings cheek and then turned back to the computer. No ones as normal as you are. Youre the most normal.

Lets go. Kris had finally finished arranging his hair in the mirror, and after picking out a necklace and putting it on, he grabbed his bag and gave Tao a little shove.

Really not coming? Kris turned around to glance at the other two.

Lu Han waved his hand in response, and Yixing glanced lazily at Kris. I want to play guitar.

Kris arched an eyebrow. Play for me when I get back.

Theres an idiom that fits this situation perfectly. Lu Han was facing the computer screen, but it

was hard to hide the smile on his face.

Kris paused for a second or two before he realised what Lu Han meant, and was just about to reach

over to teach Lu Han a lesson when he was dragged out the door by Tao. Are you guys done or not!?

Just wait until I get back! Kris said, laughing as he pointed at Lu Hans back.

Just wait this just wait that, why dont you actually do it someday and then well finally see! Tao dragged him out the door, the door finally shutting with a click.

Someone sent me a new camera the other day. Lu Han cradled his purple Samsung camera fondly. On the computer, hed pulled up the site from the pamphlet, the screen now displaying the Bukhan Mountains scenic highlights and car accessible routes, and next to a picture of a huge stone wall, there was a close up map with the caption in italics: a photographers paradise.

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The look in Lu Hans eyes as he regarded Yixing spelled nothing but trouble. Yixings expression

morphed into one of terror as he slowly retreated into his own room.

Too late, Lu Han followed him in. Yixing, youve been getting more and more handsome lately. Lu Hans face crinkled in laughter.

Your awareness seems to have improved lately. I think youve become even more stunning too. Yixing bent his head over his guitar as he tuned the strings. We should do this properly someday.

Lu Han followed up with the same smile. Im not sure if thats a good idea. After all, whatsoever will I do about the tens of thousands of maidens waiting for me? My heart cant bear it.

Its alright, Kris has already sacrificed himself for the good of the people, you can take my being into consideration first, Yixing said off-handedly.

Lu Han suddenly blew at Yixings ear, and Yixing curled up, terrified. Im just afraid that you wouldnt be able to stand it. Go hiking with me! Lu Han stared at him, eyes wide.

Cant, Im worried that youll throw up all over me since youre scared of heights. Yixing shook his

head helplessly.

Its not like Im going up a cliff or anything, I just want to try out my new camera, Lu Han pleaded.

Please spare me, sir, Yixing pleaded, we finally get a day off

Are we bros or not? Lu Han shoved at him playfully.

Yixing buried his face helplessly in his guitar. Youve got me hook line and sinker again

Lu Han grinned happily. "Get your things!" Lu Han kicked Yixing lightly. "Where's Jongdae? Should

we leave the door unlocked for him?"

"He sprained his ankle so he went to get medicine from Joonmyun's. He should've brought his

keys." The phone on the table beeped a few times to signal that it was out of battery before the

screen went dark.

"Charge it for me," Yixing said, strumming his guitar.

Lu Han shook his head. "You're using me, aren't you," he said, grabbing the charger and plugging in

the phone. He looked at Yixings pure white Lenovo, which rather resembled his own white iPhone.

You really are lucky, he said. The fans sent you the model you wanted. Itd been just around New Years, last year. Theyd all gone out shopping together, and he remembered the way Yixings eyes had greedily latched onto the phone in the display case, and then a week later, hed received that brand new cellphone.

To be honest, I get nervous when I get presents like this. If the company knew, there would be a

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hell of a scolding. Yixing shook his head. Sending it to our place and with no return address I cant return it even if I wanted to.

Turning on the screen, Lu Han tried to enter 1007, but the system said it was an incorrect password.

Your unlock codes not your birthday? Lu Han turned to ask.

Yixing stood up, taking the cellphone from Lu Hans hand. Using birthdays makes it too easy to crack by, say, brats like you. He glanced at Lu Han. Im using the pre-set code, so nobody knows it.

Lu Han arched an eyebrow. Tsch~ So many people use their own birthdays. Chanyeol, Sehun, me Besides, who even wants to see your phone, its not like you have racy pictures on it.

Theres a few of you, I took them when you were sleeping, Yixing said calmly as he scrolled

through his phone.

What!? Lu Hans eyes opened wide as he tried to grab the phone.

You sleep so gracefully, Yixing said as he stepped aside. When you get really popular later, Ill sell them for money.

Lu Han pointed at Yixing. Like Im scared of you! Next time when were at a hotel, Ill be taking pictures of you every single minute.

Thats different, Yixing said, shaking his head. Youll be more popular than me in the future, Ill sell these for more.

Lu Han was speechless. Whatd you say!?

Okay, okay, Yixing said, giving Lu Han a push. Are you going hiking or not?

-

What sort of damn place is this? Yixing clambered hand and foot up the incline , it showing no sign of being an actual road. This isnt an accessible scenic spot at all He looked down at the map and pamphlet in his hand, and then back at the road theyd come from not easy to go up, not easy to go down. How much farther is it? He yelled towards Lu Han, far ahead in the distance.

Almost! I can see it! Lu Han climbed quickly ahead of him. If its easily accessible its not as fun!

Hurry up, you! He waved a hand behind him.

I just bought these shoes too. Yixing looked down mournfully at his brand new shoes, now covered in mud.

At the top, Lu Hans mouth gaped open wide. In front of him, a massive stone wall bordered an

endless forest, and it made for a magnificent sight. Hurry up, slowpoke! Lu Han reached behind him as if to pull Yixing up. Its so pretty~ He picked up his camera, and started shooting nonstop.

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It was a feeling of being filled with unfettered joy and spiritual freedom, shedding the clamour and

noise of the human crowd, a scene coloured with only white, blue and green in front of their eyes.

Lu Han laid back on the rock, hands splayed flat beside him. Yixing sat next to him, taking out the

bags of snacks hed brought one by one and fiddling with them.

Ive found that youd make a great stall-keeper, Lu Han chuckled at Yixing, meeting the others vicious glare head on.

Go ahead and laugh, Yixing said, looking down. Take pleasure from my pain.

Your pain wont give me much pleasure, but I imagine that if you gave me all the money you made from peddling your wares, Id be happy for a bit. Lu Han leaned back on his arms, regarding the

stall-keeper in front of him.

Looks like you dont need much to make you happy, Yixing sad, opening a package. That much money in dollar value could really give you some excitement, huh.

Heh~ Im happy with what I have. Lu Han stood as he spoke, ruffling Yixings hair before walking towards the stone wall. Im learning from you, right! Youve been wearing that old string of fake beads for how long now? You still treat it like its actually precious.

Yixing didnt seem to agree. So what if its fake? He fidgeted with the Buddhist prayer beads on his wrist. I started wearing it when I was injured, and then my injury got better, and then we debuted and got that award

Lu Han walked over to inspect that ordinary string of beads. If its that powerful, lend it to me for a few days. I have a bet going on the soccer game next week.

Yixing froze for a few seconds, before he took the rosary off. Dont lose it.

Oi, youre not Buddhist are you? Lu Han chuckled as he put the rosary on.

Yixing glanced at him sideways. Do I look like I am?

Lu Han sat up halfway, looking over the other carefully. A little.

Would someone who believes in Buddha spend all day dancing? Yixing shrugged.

Once youre off stage you turn into a statue, Lu Han said, laughing.

Moving non-stop on stage, and moving non-stop offstage as well Yixing glanced at Lu Han. There are few strange people like you.

Tsk~ Lu Han patted Yixing, before his eyes drifted over to the ground by the stone wall. Oi,

dummy, what do you think that red arrow over there is?

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Around 30 meters away, a red arrow was pointing towards a segment of the wall. When Yixing

stood up and walked over to inspect it, he noticed a hammer and nails lying quietly on the ground.

Lu Han knelt on the ground, sizing up the nail and hammer in his hand, his eyes drifting to where

the arrow was pointing on the wall. Maybe this is for rock climbing?

Rock climbing where its 90 degrees and with no foot holds? Yixing squinted, shielding his eyes from the piercing sun.

Thats what the nails are for! Sitting on the ground, it was as if a light had gone off in Lu Hans hand as he looked at the nails in his hand. But this nail looks kind of small. As he spoke, he picked up the hammer, and pushed aside the dirt from a crevice.

Whatre you doing? Yixing crouched down beside him, staring at him speechlessly. Dont tell me youre thinking of climbing it.

I just want to see how rock climbers who climb outdoors would nail these in. Lu Han arched a

curious eyebrow.

Yixing looked down at the red arrow under his feet, and then at Lu Han who had started to hammer

in a nail. Someone like you whos inquisitive about everything shouldve become a scientist.

Instead, here you are singing and dancing But before hed finished speaking, he felt Lu Han lean against his shoulder, and when he turned to look, he stared at the person beside him in disbelief.

It seemed like hed fallen asleep.

His breathing was even and his lips were slightly parted Yixing stared at Lu Han dumbly. Bursting with energy one moment and then deep in sleep the next this sort of thing was difficult to

understand.

-

[1 minute ago]

Rock climbing where its 90 degrees and with no foot holds? Yixings incredulous voice drifted

over from beside him, and Lu Han froze for two seconds before he came to a sudden realisation.

Thats what the nails are for! He glanced at the nails in his hand. But this nail looks kind of small. As he spoke, he picked up the small hammer, and found a small crevice to start nailing it in.

Whatre you doing? Yixing shuffled over. Dont tell me youre thinking of climbing it.

I just want to see how rock climbers who climb outdoors would nail these in. Lu Han bent over his work, as Yixings noisy chatter continued by his ear. Someone like you whos inquisitive about everything shouldve become a scientist. Instead, here you are singing and dancing

-

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The song from their album suddenly exploded by his ear and he was surrounded by darkness. In

the distance light boards and a cacophony of sounds were scattered, there was a microphone by his

mouth, and in front of him to his left was Yixing, to his right was Kris, and he seemed to be standing

in the middle of the stage, while the speakers blared his line from their single.

Lu Han stood there dumbly. He looked back, but the music didnt stop blasting in his ear.

Lu Han! Standing to his left, Tao yelled at him. Dance! Looking to his other side, Jongdae and

Minseok were staring at him in shock, while Kris seemed to have sensed something and turned his

head a little, his eyes sweeping across Lu Han in disbelief, who was standing with his back to the

audience, frozen, before turning back and continuing with his own dance, his eyes meeting Yixings for a moment, whod also just turned back in shock.

Lu Hans line passed quickly, and then K joined them on stage, Kim Jongin at the front of the formation while Yixing and Sehun quickly scrambled to the back. Lu Han stood frozen in the middle

of the group until Kris dragged him abruptly by his clothes to just behind Sehun. Wake up! Kris yelled at him in Chinese at a volume he could just hear.

The distinct rhythm thudded to life after a short moment of silence, and the stage lights cut through

the dark to illuminate Jongin, Yixing, and Sehun. As the rhythm started, among everyone elses stillness, the three of them started to dance.

Lu Han caught his breath as he regarded the scene in front of him. Within the familiar rhythm,

instinct welled up within him he knew the next eight count was his own, and everything was wrong, but

When the beat of his part started, Kris glanced at him nervously, but he joined in on the dance

without missing a beat.

These were movements, formations he knew like the back of his hand, but he didnt know where he was, he didnt know what time this was, he didnt know what had happened, but once the beat started, he could follow the dance as if he were on a mission.

First, he had to finish this performance that was inevitable.

-

The song was finished, the lights went dark, and although everyone breathed harshly in the

darkness, there were no high-fives as usual. Jongins forehead was beaded with sweat, his bangs

plastered damply to his forehead, and even as he caught his breath, he stalked over to where Lu

Han was standing. What were you doing!? Chanyeol grabbed him from behind, but he shoved him off. Do you know how important that stage was!?

Well talk about it after! Kim Joonmyun yelled next to Jongin, and then pushed him towards the stage exit. Everyones expressions bore trouble, as Sehun glanced at Lu Han and Baekhyun wordlessly brushed off the golden confetti stuck in his hair. As the people beside him walked away

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one by one, Lu Han was still rooted to the spot, his face deathly pale. Kris had his hands on his hips

as he stared at the ground, while Yixing looped an arm around Lu Hans waist and guided him off stage.

Thank you for your hard work. Thank you for your hard work. The greetings awaiting them off stage carried no hint of feeling. The dressing room and break rooms back stage were full of the

sunbaes from the company running in and out, and the sound of the MCs teasing drifted down from

on stage the next performance would begin soon.

The manager was currently on the phone, bowing and kissing the metaphorical ass of thin air. Yes,

yes, I understand this has never happened before yes, I will, I will As he spoke, he glanced at the members who walked in one by one. I will ask them, for sure Im sorry, Im so sorry

Lu Hans face was pale and his head hurt so very badly as he tried to make sense of whatd just

happened, but the manager had already hung up and was walking towards him.

What was that!? The manager walked up to him and shoved at Lu Hans head, Lu Han stumbling two steps back. Did you come just to screw up the performance!? The manager yelled at him, and

all the other artists in the break room slowly looked in their direction. Lu Hans head was bent in silence, and through his headache, he felt like this was a break room he knew.

This is a live broadcast! Do you understand? Live! Music awards arent just for our companys

artists! Winning praise is the work of 10 years, destroying it only takes one day! If we get the

newcomers award, do you want everyone to laugh about how we cant even live up to it? The manager continued to yell at Lu Han, but Lu Han slowly raised his head, his face pale.

Music award? He turned to look at everyone around him. Newcomers award? But didnt we already get it?

The room quieted immediately.

The manager stared at him blankly, and then brought his hand across the side of his face.

He heard the quiet buzz in his left ear, as Lu Hans head turned to the side and he stared at the ground.

This was indeed a familiar break room, and just now it was indeed a familiar stage, and it was as if

hed already experienced everything already, yet it wasnt entirely the same.

Kris pulled Lu Han behind him. If we do win the award, Ill explain and apologise during the

acceptance speech.

Explain!? How are you going to explain? The manager stared at Kris in disbelief.

Kris hesitated before he spoke. Ill say that hes been undergoing a high degree of stress, and had momentary hallucinations.

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Are you trying to say that the company abuses its artists? their manager asked.

Thats Kris said. Ill say his earpiece fell off.

Earpieces fall off all the time, but has anyone gone out of their mind like he did just now?

Kris stared at their manager. Then I wont explain, Ill just apologise.

The manager looked first at Kris and then at Lu Han, and then at the staff who was waving him over,

and the make-up artists. You guys go get touched up first, and then sit where youre assigned. If, in a moment, you do indeed get the award, then you two leaders decide how to best take care of it. Be

genuine, and you must be able to silence everyone. Joonmyun and Kris both nodded and bowed, as he moved on to Lu Han. As for you, well deal with you later.

Seeing that the discussion was over, the make-up artist hurried over to touch up all 12 of them, and

unlike before, when it was full of lively chatter, this time, everyone was unusually silent. Out of the

corner of his eye, Jongin glanced at Baekhyun who was getting his eyeliner redrawn. Lu Han was

looking up, a thick layer of foundation covering the fresh finger shaped imprints on his face.

Coming back to the dark venue, even though they quietly entered the awards ceremony, there was

no way they could avoid the eyes of the fans, setting off a fresh wave of screams. From his end,

Joonmyun passed down a message one by one to the other end if they did win the award, when they got on stage, the first thing they would do would be to all bow for ten seconds in apology.

I read an article in the paper once that if youre too tired, you forget things, Tao said quietly to

Kris as he looked at Lu Han sitting between Chanyeol and Baekhyun far away. Something like short term memory loss I think.

Kris followed his gaze. The fans suddenly exploded in a flurry of movement it turned out that Yixing had asked Baekhyun to change seats with him, so he could sit next to Lu Han.

Lu~Han~Oppa~Its~Fine~We~Love~you~!!! The fans seemed to have come up with a fan chant

in the short period of time, and in the silence, Lu Han turned hesitantly, before he stood and bowed

towards the fans.

Ahhhhh! From behind, came a wave of tragic cries and howls of tears.

Thats possible, Kris said. Hes been taking sleeping pills for the past few days, its possible that hes not as alert.

Huh? Tao glanced at Kris in disbelief. He has insomnia? You cant tell.

Kris glanced at Tao. You fall asleep the fastest, of course you wouldnt be able to tell.

Tao froze for a second or two, and then turned to look at Kris. Youre not saying that when were in the same room at the hotels youre an insomniac too, are you?

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Pay attention and watch the performances, Kris said, and then pasted on a smile as he started applauding for the performance on stage he hadnt been watching at all.

Even though theyd been mentally prepared, when it was announced that they won the rookie award, Yixing was still so excited that he almost cried. The entire group surged up from their seats

and hugged each other, as Joonmyun, his eyes red, looked at the equally emotional Kris and said

Youve worked hard. The two of them hugged each other, patting each other on the back. It was all

captured by the emotional fans, and became one of the most moving pictures of EXO receiving the

newcomers award that would circulate on the web.

The picture that was even more widely circulated was when they were standing on stage, after Lu

Han had bowed and apologised the picture of all twelve of them bowing for ten seconds. The caption by the picture was even more poignant: One persons mistake, twelve peoples bows.

-

After they returned to the car, Lu Hans head felt like it was about to split in two. He grabbed Yixings hand and asked, what day is it?

Yixing looked at him. The 29th.

December 29th, 2012? Lu Han said quietly, brows furrowed.

Yixing nodded silently.

Staring out the car window at the snow and the fast retreating night scenery, Lu Han said, have you gone hiking with me recently? And did I hammer in nails into a stone wall?

Yixing looked at him, and then pulled him against his shoulder. Just close your eyes and sleep. Youre too tired.

Leaning against Yixings shoulder, Lu Han shut his eyes, as he tried to find a reasonable explanation for himself.

He was too tired, so on stage, hed become confused, and imagined that three months have passed;

Hed been sleepwalking, all the way up until he was on stage; Hed mixed up dreams and reality, and this was a result of taking the sleeping pills; Hed come up with a psychological problem, and had to go see the doctor.

Yixing, whats our schedule for tomorrow? he asked.

We have a photo-shoot for a magazine tomorrow afternoon, and then a program at night, Yixing said.

Then, tomorrow morning, come to the hospital with me, Lu Han said wearily.

Yixing turned to look at Lu Han. It seemed like hed fallen asleep.

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-

[1 minute ago]

Just close your eyes and sleep. Youre too tired. Yixings voice sounded by his ear.

Lu Han leaned against his shoulder and shut his eyes, as he tried to find a reasonable explanation

for himself.

He was too tired, so on stage, hed become confused, and imagined that three months have passed; Hed been sleepwalking, all the way up until he was on stage;

Hed mixed up dreams and reality, and this was a result of taking the sleeping pills; Hed come up with a psychological problem, and had to go see the doctor.

Yixing, whats our schedule for tomorrow? he asked.

We have a photoshoot for a magazine tomorrow afternoon, and then a program at night, Yixing said.

Then, tomorrow morning, come to the hospital with me, Lu Han said wearily.

Huh? Is that okay? He furrowed his brows as he slowly opened his eyes, just as an inundation of

light had him covering his eyes involuntarily. His body seemed to have lost all sense of balance,

arms and legs in mid-air, and then he fell bit by bit until he landed on a smooth white surface.

By the time hed opened his eyes entirely, there was no Yixing beside him: in front of his eyes, it

wasnt the inside of their car, and on the ground there was a red arrow, the tip of the arrow leading to a door.

Lu Han pitched to his feet as he looked all around him. This white surface seemed to be a wide

hallway, and behind him was an expanse of light. He staggered forward, following the arrow, until

he reached the door. To the left of the arrow, not too far away was another small door, but the

arrow wasnt pointing towards it.

Lu Hans mind was completely blank as he stood in front of the door for a hesitant moment, before he knocked on the door in front of him.

There was the sound of a key turning in the lock, and after two seconds, the door opened. A man

opened the door, the smile on his face stretching from ear to ear as he waved him in.

Youve finally arrived, he said.

15

Chapter 1

It was a small room, about 20 meters squared in area. Directly opposite of him was an open door,

seemingly overlooking a precipice of blinding light. On the left, there was a telescope embedded in

the wall while underneath that was a screen, and next to it was a small black board covered with

messy scribbles.

Lu Han, I thank you for your curiosity. The person smiled amicably towards him, while sweeping away the drawings on the blackboard, leaving it completely clean.

Where is this? Lu Han asked, shaking faintly. Am I dead?

Youre not dead, the person said gently. If you want to ask where this is, Im afraid its very

difficult to explain. You can simply think of this as a place that exists independently of the usual real

world youre used to, as this is a world that exists only in your imagination. Perhaps you could simply think of it as a dream. That persons smile was altogether kind and good-natured.

You must believe that youve teleported, time travelled. Suddenly returning to the past, and then suddenly appearing in this strange place. I imagine that you dont think very highly of me right now. He clapped his hands together as he regarded Lu Han. Im not upset and understand your feelings completely. On the contrary, I hope that my explanation can be of use to you.

Lu Han looked at him, and then looked at the door on the other side, the light shining through it

blinding, and remained silent.

I have no name. You may call me any name you so choose. Of course, if you cant think of one, you could also call me Clown. He didnt particularly resemble a clown*, Lu Han thought, as the man said this.

As for time, you likely perceive it in the same way as the majority of people do. You probably believe that time progresses smoothly, steadily, stretching forward interminably and forever. Even

though people have written countless stories and made countless movies where people time travel

to the future or back in time, those are simply mankinds flighty, wishful fancies. He glanced at Lu

Han, and then took out a marker.

In reality, time is simply a construct, a tool of measurement created by mankind, for example, not unlike the USD or a unit of weight. In order to assign a constant, steady value to this concept,

humans created these stable time-keeping systems using the most precise atomic clocks available.

Pay attention to my words, because the time you use in your everyday life, UTC, is one of these

time-keeping systems, with people setting UTC+0 at a certain place, known commonly as

Greenwich time, and due to the Earths rotation, there exist the created time zones. The time you see every day on the computer is simply UTC plus the time for your time zone. Of course, Ive been

neglecting the time that is required within the hardware and the transport.

Lu Han rubbed at his temples, and continued to listen.

16

Actually, the time-keeping system in use is not entirely perfect. Even the best atomic clocks in the world possess some small difference among them. If we were to plot our time-keeping system on

the x-axis and the best atomic clock on the y-axis, we would find that other than a slight offset, the

resulting graph would be, for the most part, a smooth straight line. If we suppose that both these

units of time consist of some small difference, then this difference will only increase with time, but

as they increase at the same rate, the slope of this line will not, in fact, change. He raised an eyebrow, watching Lu Han who was squinting. I say its a smooth line for the most part, because other than the linear portion, the difference between these two times consists of some random

noise. I wont explain this part to you, since it seems like your head is already starting to hurt. He smiled, trying to keep Lu Hans patience.

Actually, that this line deviates from having a slope of 1 does not necessarily mean that this atomic clock isnt good enough, but perhaps it indicates that our time-keeping system isnt quite good

enough, as our system itself depends on a series of atomic clocks. So, within the confines of time,

there are no absolutes, and everything is relative. The time which passes in your every day is not a

set rule you only believe it to be so. He wiped away the label on the y-axis.

Looking at Lu Hans gloomy expression, Clown smiled. Please forgive my prattle. You know that at times, a person has no choice there are people who dropped out of school in high school, yet are now here giving a physics lesson, and there are people arent good at explanation, yet here they are,

chattering on. God is fair. He blinked.

Really? Then what are you good at? Lu Han smiled as well.

The other cradled his forehead. Perhaps, Im somewhat like you. So saying, a smile slipped out as he took out a marker. Listen carefully now, there may be some day when youll try to remember every word Ive told you.

Now, lets assume that the y-axis is a measure of your perception. He wrote down the label. Each persons perception is different. To you, one hour passes quickly while Zhang Yixing feels that it passed slowly this is because the slope of your two lines are different. If I were to raise my hand,

in your perspective, each of you would see it at a different speed, but because your individual

perception is constant, youd never know that you perceived it differently. As he spoke, he drew a straight line in blue.

You know Yixing? Lu Han said, but Clown ignored him, continuing his explanation.

And so, if we consider the time just now when you were hammering in the nail on the mountain,

your perception underwent a step. While speaking, he drew a green dot on top of the blue line, and

then changed the segment after it to a dotted red line, while maintaining the same slope and length

of the solid line, he drew it in red, a little under the first line. Right now, you experienced the events of a few months ago. Well label this corresponding period of time from a few months ago that were affected by the step as T1. He glanced at Lu Han, marking down next to the red, and then

jotting down the English letter X next to the dotted red line.

17

For the time being, Ill call you the guide, X, because at the same time, your step has created the step of another person, lets call them the follower, Y. Right now, theyre waiting for you to give them a very important Number after your step, lets call this a day-number. By adding the starting

point of the time you returned to and this day-number, this will be the time they return to, T2s, starting point. In yellow, he drew the dotted line to indicate Ys step. Your step created their step, and your step has also determined their step. The past that the two of you change, will change the

present, and in a manner of speaking, the two of you must be partners who have a tacit

understanding of each other to the highest degree.

Lu Han looked at the multi-coloured lines on the blackboard, trying to put it all together in his head.

Clown smiled at Lu Han, indicating that he should stay patient.

I know that you must have many questions, such as how to obtain this important Number, or who your partner shall be. Oh, and of course, most importantly, he held out a finger, why you have been caught up in this mess.

Let us first address the simplest question. Clown looked at Lu Han. As to your partner, they are

the one who hammered a nail into the stone wall at the same time as you. This time, that person did

not exist, and you had yet to receive any explanation, so you are the only one who experienced a

step. But, please keep in mind, if you wish to trigger a step again, you must find a partner who will

nail one in at the same time as you. When the guide among the two of you undergoes the step and

after the Number has been obtained, only then can the follower take their step. If the Number is 0,

not only will they not take a step, you will also return to the starting point, in other words, the point

in time when you nailed in a nail. But the price that must be paid will still be paid, so, do try to avoid

having the Number be 0.

18

How do you get that Number? And whats the price? Lu Han asked.

Be patient. All that you need to know, you will know, Clown said. As to the Number, its linked to doors, rectangular doors. Its the number of rectangular doors that you tap on, within half an hour of initiating the step. Tapping on the same door more than once doesnt count; car doors, closet

doors, doors that are shorter than you dont count, and the upper limit is 60 in other words, the difference in time that the two of you return to cannot exceed 60 days.

Lu Han narrowed his eyes, trying to take in all of this strange information.

What you and your partner can determine is 1) the reason for the step, and 2) the time difference between your steps. What the two of you cannot determine is 1) the time the guide returns to, 2)

the length of the step, and 3) who is the guide and who is the follower. Clown put away the markers. Your partner wont know where your step has taken you or what you did and you will have no way of knowing what they did, up until both of you have completed the step and have

returned to that mountain. Only then will you know what the other has done, and only when you

have returned to reality will you know what impact your actions have caused. Clown smiled at him.

So, not only must the two of you plan carefully, you must also understand what the people around you are like.

Speechless, Lu Han stared blankly at the mess of lines on the black board. So why exactly did I have

to take this damn step!?

The reason for this step is your curiosity it wasnt one that had to happen, Clown said. But from now on, any steps you take will be entirely of your own will. Of course, it bears a price, and for each

step you take, you and your partner must give up 15 years of your life.

15 years! Lu Hans mouth hung open, disbelief painted on his face.

Of course, theres nothing in this world that is free, including the cure for regret. Clown blinked. But dont fret. For the step you took before this explanation, youve simply been unconscious, and theres no need for you to pay the fee. You can stroll out through this door and return to that

mountain, and awaken from this compressed period of sleep. What I mean is that for all this

running around youve been doing today, all thats happened is that youve taken a short nap against Zhang Yixings shoulder for a few minutes. As to the changes you caused during this step, Im very sorry, but theres no way that can be erased. Everyone will remember that embarrassing moment where you blanked out on stage, other than the you in the real world. Hell lose that

segment of his memory and be unable to remember what happened in that time In reality, right now, hes sleeping in your place on top of the mountain.

Then the me that was changed by history, how can he just happen to be there at the time when

Im nailing the nail on top of that mountain, and match up with the me whos just finishing my step? Lu Han asked.

Clown smiled. This isnt for you or me to worry about. Logic and causality are the rules of the game

19

in this world, and as for this little side-game created for you and me, obviously, He would allow

them to fall within the rules. He pointed up.

IfI were to nail in another nail after I return Lu Han furrowed his brow.

If you were to nail in another nail, then the people around you would have no recollection of what

happened this time, and their memory would regain their normal state, in other words, the state it

would be in if the step hadnt occurred. But, let me give you a piece of advice from experience. Sometimes, the things around you will also go with you, and you already know that not everything

can be completely under your control, Clown said. Youre already thinking about nailing in a nail.

Do you really care so much about such a little thing?

What I care about is how Im going to get back. Lu Han stared at the door in front of him, flooded

with light, and then at the large door behind him that had already shut.

This, you dont need to worry about. Its easily taken care of, Clown said. In a moment, simply walk through this open door, and itll be fine.

Before I came here, Lu Han said, On my left, there was another small door, only the arrow wasnt pointing towards it.

You are indeed a very observant person, Clown said. That door has no lock. If you were to have left through that door at the time, you would have returned directly to that mountain, wouldnt have received an explanation, and the nail would have reverted back to being an ordinary nail

forever. No matter how many nails you hammered in the future, nothing would have happened, he said.

Clown looked at Lu Hans blank expression. My friend, please remember that no matter what, once youve chosen your partner, your partner cannot change. It will be your responsibility to explain to

him all the rules, and when the two of you take a step, you must know what you wish to change you cant miss a thing. Other than you and him, the two of you must not tell anyone else a thing. It is forbidden.

Whatll happen if we do? Lu Han said.

There is no one who can live within a paradox this would affect the very state of their existence, Clown said gently.

Lu Han quirked an eyebrow. Existence.

And so, now that you know all you need to know, I thank you for your patience. You have lost nothing, and you can simply take this all to be a dream. As to the mishap on the stage, I express my

sincerest apologies, Clown said, smiling gently.

This doesnt really sit well with me, Lu Han said.

Clown chuckled. No, youve done well keeping your cool for your first time. Much better than me.

20

Lu Han turned to look at him, grasping onto the shred of information that seeped through his words

before it vanished like smoke.

You can leave now. Clown turned around to wipe away the lines on the black board. Dont forget the way back.

Lu Han walked to the door before he paused. He turned around. Thank you for your explanation, he said, but, I think, I wont be coming back. He smiled and stepped through the door, and was

swallowed by the light.

Without watching him leave, Clown put away his marker.

His head was bent as he spoke. You will.

*in the Chinese, he says, you can call me Clown, a clown, where Clown is in English. Lu Han then

thinks that he doesnt look very ugly at all. The word used for ugly here is , while clown is written

in Chinese.

21

Chapter 2

Opening his eyes, he raised his pounding head from Yixings shoulder. Lu Han glanced around him at the beautiful mountain scenery that hadnt changed, and met Yixings impassive eyes.

Youre awake, oh great one? Yixing said.

Lu Han looked at Yixing as if he was scrutinizing every line on his face.

Iwhat just happened to me? he asked.

Next time, if youre going to fall asleep, you could give some sort of warning. Say, yawning, or

something like that, Yixing said, chuckling at him.

How long was I asleep for? Lu Han took out his phone to check the date.

A few minutes. Yixing massaged his shoulder and stood, walking towards where the snacks lay, before turning to glance at Lu Han. Tell me the truth, is this because we were on your bed? Were you so mad that you had to come here to make up for it and nap?

Lu Han stared at Yixing, words freezing on the tip of his tongue.

Youve gone quiet, kind of gloomy. Yixing watched him. If theres something, then just say it

straight out.

Lu Han looked at Yixing as he spoke. December last yearat the awards ceremonyDid I, I mean, was it

Yixings eyes dropped, and even his arms dropped with them. Why are you still caught up in that?

Lu Han froze, rooted to the spot. To Lu Han, those few simple words from Yixings mouth seemed to be a blow against his head.

Its already been so long, no one even cares anymore We got the award, we apologised, and the fans all felt sorry for you Yixing said, long-windedly. Speaking of which, you were really strange that day. First you spaced out on stage, and then afterwards you didnt remember anything about whatd happened on stage, and Taozi insisted that you probably had some memory deficiency or something and tried to drag you out to get it checked, but then thankfully you went back to

normal You shouldnt take sleeping pills so often from now on, you know?

But Lu Han wasnt listening to what Yixing was saying at all. Instead, he slowly turned towards the stone wall and walked over. The small nail was nestled inconspicuously in the crack, among the dirt

and the weeds, while the hammer was on the ground, and by his foot, was the red arrow.

He picked up the hammer and threw it into the forest with all his strength, before grabbing Yixing

and pulling him with him towards the way back.

22

Eh? You want to go back? Yixing quickly scooped up his bag.

Clinging to Yixings hand, Lu Han hurried away from the stone wall and the thicket as if he were escaping a nightmare. With his other hand, he rubbed at his eyes, as if Clowns good natured smile was right in front of him. Dont forget the way back. As if Im ever fucking coming back! he suddenly yelled, turning to the mountains.

Yixing watched him, silent.

Yixing, if I ever want to come back to this place again, no matter what, you have to stop me. Lu Han looked Yixing in the eye. Promise me.

Yixing stared at him blankly. Why?

Promise me. Lu Han repeated, still staring at him.

Okay, Yixing said, looking at Lu Hans serious expression. As long as you let me know.

The light in Lu Hans eyes seemed to suddenly falter and his legs grew weak, as they buckled and he sat heavily on the ground.

There are many things that cannot be investigated. This thing called curiosity has both driven

mankinds growth and hastened mankinds destruction. In the face of something that could not be investigated, Lu Han silently vowed to extinguish his own curiosity.

Because he definitely couldnt allow his curiosity to extinguish him.

-

The following week was as calm as still water. The first thing Lu Han did when he got up every

morning was to check the date, and then, starting from Kris who shared his room, hed check

everyones recollections of the night before and compare it to his own. When time after time, there were no incongruences, he slowly began to believe that life had returned to normal.

Before, he used to bear some resentment towards the blandness of daily life, unconsciously willing

some sort of disturbance to mix things up a little, but now, he hated all disturbances.

The good thing was that the days were so busy, their time crammed so tight that it was a like a

cracker and there was no water content in his days for him to think back on that curious dream.

Rehearsal, performances, fansigns, hurrying between radio stations and TV stations, and under the

flashing lights of the photography studio, assuming expressions of passionate love or freshness or

seduction. Hand hooked around Sehun or arm looped over Yixings shoulders, none of this was a problem, and in variety, whether it was going along with Duizhangs strange requests or sacrificing

his lips for mouth to mouth, none of this was difficult at all.

23

In his heart, hed been preparing for this day since he was 17. Now he was here, even though he wasnt entirely elated, he wasnt complaining.

He deserves it.

Just like how if one goes to med school, one would know that its likely theyd end up working in a

hospital and spend their entire lives interacting with patients who were ill, Lu Han had built up

much preparation in his heart towards many things.

Thats right. While his high school classmates were putting everything on the line as they scrambled to prepare for their university exams, hed been putting everything for the entrance exam to the university that was SM. Even though it was a university that had an odd name and with a low

employment rate post graduation, the good thing was, the field of study was one he liked a lot. After

graduation, he miraculously wasnt unemployed, and Lu Han thanked his lucky stars that he was in

that fortunate 20%. During those first few weeks in a new job, just like every other newcomer

whod just stepped into society, there were some things that he didnt understand and things he didnt know how to deal with, but after hed been doing it for a while, he found that some things were different in reality from what hed thought. But none of this mattered, because in order to qualify for anything you might like to do, there were sacrifices and prices that had to be paid, and

there were some things you had to do that you didnt like, regardless of what career path one had chosen.

As for the things that he didnt like, maybe they included losing some of his privacy, receiving

unwarranted criticism, accepting invitations to social functions that couldnt be refused he could come up with others as well. When asking the sunbae groups Cross-dressing? Kissing on stage during concerts? Or having water bottles thrown at you because of fan fights? He remembered their

debut showcase, the soft and warm demeanor of the leader of their sunbae group, the way he

treated fans with polite and careful consideration, how when he spoke, he considered every angle This was a smooth circle that had been polished through who knew how many incidents, while

right now, he himself was still a triangle.

And as for the things he liked, there were a lot of those too. Such as the stage he longed for day and

night, the contentment as he was absorbed in the deluge of performance, the love of so many

strangers, and in a way, the authority their words had, to some extent.

90% of the time, being famous was a good thing. It could allow you to stand in the spotlight and be

the center of discussion as you expressed yourself, but of course, this was under the assumption

that there wasnt some gun hidden in a dark corner.

The days passed one by one, busily but calmly. Lu Han had already signed his cute cartoon

autograph a couple thousand times, with a smile that had almost peeled off his face. His arm felt

swollen and sore, and as he stared at his own autograph that he could barely recognise, he was

reminded again and again that he was in the service sector. Both far off and up close were rows of

screams and cheers. This was a comedy that couldnt be changed, and since the tickets that had been sold were those to a comedy, just like a clown on stage who was dedicated to his work, by the

principles of it, the expressions underneath the clowns mask were best left to himself.

24

The customer is king, the customer is an angel; hed thought that he existed for the stage, but it was

only later that he realised, the stage existed for the audience. Without the audience, it couldnt be considered a stage.

So, hed say to fans over and over, believing it from the bottom of his heart, you are angels, and I

exist because of your cheers.

Continue to cheer for us, or else, Ill no longer exist.

-

March 22, 2013. It wasnt the first time theyd received such a call to a dinner party, nor was it the first time that it was the four of them going. Outside, a light drizzle of rain dampened the ground.

The lack of rest had turned Lu Hans cold into a light fever, and he was now wearing a simple coat over his dress shirt. He and Baekhyun got into the car that had come to pick them up, while behind

them followed Chanyeol and Kris, who had just woken up. Kriss phone beeped in his pocket,

reminding him that it was almost out of battery. He picked up his phone and glanced at it, and then

he glanced at the two who were already in the car before slipping it back into his pocket and getting

in.

Gradually, Lu Han had gotten used to these sort of dinner functions. Whether they were TV stations,

magazines, PDs, drama producers, or other groups that worked together with their company, it

seemed like every single group was interested in getting to know them, and behind every contract was a friendly dinner function. In regards to the profit-greedy entertainment companies or the

entire structure of the industry, Lu Han had long known that they, the splendid idols themselves,

were in reality at the very bottom of this golden pyramid, while the bosses who waved the money

making golden whips would always need them at the other end, to be on the front lines of the

battleground: singing and dancing was one aspect, using their handsome countenances and

unwavering charms to reel in the fans in different countries, different markets and of all different

ages was another aspect, while, like right now, using their warm and cheerful demeanors to raise

the mood at the dinner table was yet another aspect.

They were all unavoidable aspects of work, and it was all highly skilled work.

A dinner party was just a dinner party, nothing actually scary. Just like a car salesman or a

pharmaceutical salesman sometimes had to undergo social niceties for the sake of work, the main

product they were pushing was their faces, so having to attend the occasional banquet was

completely understandable. Just like the rookie in any profession whose position wasnt yet stable, they had to climb up slowly from the bottom, and neither could their tempers be picky. Lu Han

figured that this was a good experience in terms of building character, before they became wildly

popular.

There werent many people at the dinner function that day, the party consisting of both men and women, though it was clear that those in attendance were highly regarded by the company. A

number of higher ups that they rarely saw were also present. For small things, often the other party

25

would personally request a certain person, and just one or two of them would stick it out, but this

time, since all four of them were in attendance, it meant that other than them being there as

accompaniment, they were also there to be marketed.

After several rounds of bowing and greeting, Lu Han slowly latched onto the main topic of

conversation at the table. Lately, thered been rumours of plans for a Japanese unit. In other words, this was a discussion regarding the companys plans for EXO for this year, and more specifically,

EXOJ.

The company had a strict hierarchy. Other than the board members who had shares in the company,

the upper management consisted of seven people, and were referred to as the executive managers.

Each executive manager was in charge of a different segment as well as differing numbers of lower

level managers. Each lower level manager was responsible for something different some were

responsible for arranging the schedules and performances of solo artists, while some were in

charge of groups such as theirs. That day, other than the highest-level executive manager in charge

of them, there were two board members in attendance, and for EXO whod debuted for a year, this was enough of a show of respect.

As for his fever, even though Lu Han understood the importance of this function and was doing his

best to keep up a smiling appearance, there was still no way that he could hide the fact that he

wasnt feeling well. Chanyeol took the initiative in assuming the responsibility of proposing toasts, and in the tangled exchange of languages, explained to Kris quietly each persons role.

The one on the left whos always smiling is the head of NHKs entertainment programs production segment. Kriss eyes followed Chanyeols to sweep towards the one whose smile was the brightest and the fakest. The two on the right are their companys board members. The young one is a translator, the woman at the end is a senior manager and used to be the manager of SMAP. Kriss

gaze took in each of them one by one, as he remained silent.

The idea of an EXOJ unit has been under consideration since even before they debuted, actually, the executive manager sitting beside Lu Han said affably. But one, they werent mature enough

when they debuted and two, securing the Chinese and Korean markets required some time, so this

matter has been dragged to such an extent. As he smiled, he bent over to pour the others a glass of wine.

Of course, testing the waters of your countrys entertainment market is no small matter, and it isnt as if the company has not attempted such before. To do so without ample preparation would mean

that it would be difficult to obtain good results. We also know that in order to plan this matter, it

would require a certain length of time, so the preparations were actually begun last year. Bringing

this up in the schedule now is a necessity, of course Theyre still very young, and in the future, the

guidance and support of you ladies and gentlemen will be absolutely indispensable The manager continued to reiterate his ideas over and over, and the translator continued to translate. Lu Hans head felt like it was about to split open, and he couldnt fight off the urge to doze off in lethargy.

Of these four artists, two are currently in K and two are in M. Since they debuted a year ago, theyve received fairly favourable praise and have a high degree of popularity, and their degree of

26

compatibility is also high, the manager said tactfully. Even though the list of members have yet to be finalised, if a J team were to be formed, its possible that the members will be selected from among them, and the leader will also be chosen from among them.

It seems like the two lead dancers arent present? one of the Japanese board members asked with a smile.

Mm. One of the companys board members responded with a smile. The two main dancers are both indispensable at the moment from their respective teams, and furthermore, their Japanese

isnt very good. On top of which theyre somewhat shy and inarticulate, and possibly arent very

suited to activities in a country in which they cant speak their mother tongues. He smiled and gestured towards Lu Han. If we were to form a J team, we would be inclined to allow him to become the leader of the J team.

From the haze of his headache, Lu Han raised his head, and before hed even understood what was going on, he was pulled to his feet by the board member. Lu Han is currently promoting as part of the M team in the Chinese market. His singing and dancing are both above average, hes good at languages, is popular, and is good looking. The board member was smiling, and as he was introducing the goods, he stroked Lu Hans cheek with the back of his hand. Good compatibility,

listens well, his ability to adapt is also very good. According to our observations and understanding,

he definitely wouldnt fail expectations. So speaking, he turned to look at Lu Hans pale face.

Lu Han? Ive heard of you. The head of the NHK entertainment production section looked at him.

Are you interested in Japan?

Lu Han blinked sluggishly, his expression blank and eyelids heavy. The manager beside him clapped

him on the back. Hes talking to you!

Looking up blankly, Lu Han managed a few words. Ah, Japan, interested.

The other person looked at his distracted expression, looked down and chuckled. Oh, is that so? What parts? He looked at Lu Han.

Ive Lu Han felt like there was a rock shoved down his throat, and there was a constant buzzing in his head. Eaten Japanese food.

Beside them, the translator-noona and Baekhyun both laughed, and Kris couldnt hide the smile as

he ducked his head and filled in the words that Lu Han couldnt say, complete with animation.

But their smiles were quickly wiped off their faces, because the expression on the Japanese board

members face wasnt a pleasant one at all.

He can speak some Japanese, the manager hastily filled in. Usually, he often watches Japanese movies and variety shows. As he spoke, he grabbed Lu Han by the arm and gave him a look.

Lu Han, however, didnt follow up on the managers words, and only continued to stare blankly, rooted unmoving to the spot.

27

The manager hastily poured wine for everyone, including for Lu Han. Hanging onto the table for

support, Lu Han felt so nauseous, the room spinning around him. Chanyeol, noticing the board

members look, pushed the glass closer to Lu Hans hand, but Lu Han only continued to hang onto the table, and made no move to pick up the glass.

The other man held the glass in hand, silently waiting for Lu Han, but Lu Han continued to stare at

the table, face pale and with his brows furrowed.

An awkward air circled the table. Kris glanced at Lu Han for some two seconds before looking down.

He vaguely remembered Lu Han recently using the occasional anti Japan products to express his

faint anti-Japanese sentiments.

The Japanese board member put down his glass. Looks like, he said smiling, that in your country, the meaning of listening well and high compatibility, compared to what we in Japan consider to be

listening well and high compatibility, well, there seems to exist some difference. As he spoke, he smiled towards Lu Han. It seems like you must treat your artists very well, if they can exhibit their own tempers like this.

Lu Han remained silent, while the manager plastered on an awkward smile as he apologised

profusely to the other companys board member. No, no, you misunderstand. Were also very strict with our artists.

Is that so? The board members expression was tinged with some consideration. Im simply worried that if they come like this to Japan, they wont be used to it.

The board member of their company ducked his head as he smiled awkwardly. When he turned his

head, his expression was unpleasant as he glared at the manager.

The manager furrowed his brows as he blinked. He paused for a few seconds before picking up the

glass of red wine in front of Lu Han and splashing it onto Lu Hans face, and in that moment, everyone quieted down.

Lu Han was still frozen to the spot as the wine trickled down his face, slowly dripping off the ends of

his hair. The aroma of the ice cold wine was indeed good, and at the very least, cooled the burning

in forehead by a few degrees.

The Japanese board member regarded him with a quiet smile, and didnt appear to be surprised at

all at what had just happened. Lu Han hesitated for a few seconds, his head lowered, before he

slowly bowed and apologised. Im sorry. Ill go tidy up. As he spoke, he got up and walked to the door of the washroom.

In the washroom, Lu Han stuck his face under the tap and turned on the cold water. There was no

time to complain, he only wanted to wake himself up a little. Leaning against the mirror, he looked

at the him in the mirror. His skin was pale, his features lovely and delicate, and on that table, he was

as insignificant as an ant.

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He practiced his smile in the mirror games arent played like this.

But the rules of the games werent set by them, nor how they were played.

Walking back to the private room, Lu Han hesitated by the door for a few moments as he mulled

over his thoughts. When he pushed open the door, the sweetest smile he could muster was on his

face.

Im sorry about earlier, he said, walking back to his seat. Let me first apologise with three glasses.

After saying this in fluent Korean, he waited patiently for the translator to finish translating before

he poured himself the liquor with the same smile, choosing the small cups for Japanese soju.

The board member regarded him with the same expressionless face, and only after hed finished

drinking all three glasses did the old smile resurface. This is the Lu Han I was introducing you to earlier. The Japanese board member smiled as he gestured for Lu Han to sit down. If youre unable to drink, then just dont drink. This liquor is very strong, you dont need to force yourself.

Lu Han sat down, shaking faintly. Under the table, Chanyeol grabbed his hand. Lu Han kept the same

warm smile on his face as he spoke. No, its only proper, after all.

The Japanese representative that day seemed to have latched onto Lu Han, or rather, chosen Lu Han

as the scape goat, and had latched onto him for the sake of their company. He kept pouring Lu Han

drinks non-stop, and requested for the red-faced Lu Han to improvise a performance, no matter

how hard Chanyeol tried to shield him or Kris tried to take the wine for him. These people seemed

to have locked onto Lu Han, and wouldnt be satisfied until he was done. It was a strange and mysterious atmosphere it was as if he was both the embodiment of the companys promise that

their artists had high compatibility, and at the same time, he had become the handle by which the

Japanese side was using to drag down the artists of their company. Pulled two ways, there was

nothing he could do but shut his eyes as he took the proffered alcohol and poured it down his throat.

You were saying just now that his dance and singing are both above average, werent you? the Japanese board member laughed, clapping his hands together. Why dont you show us a song. I cant wait.

Thats right, you could come to Japan to develop even further, lets see how well you sing. The other board member smiled in agreement.

Kris lowered his head. Under the table, his hands clenched into fists.

Lu Han struggled to hang onto the last bit of awareness he had. My throats a little hoarse, perhaps, just let me pass for today?

Hoarse? I think the sound is very moving. In Japan, theres a saying. After three rounds of wine, the songs are even livelier. Whether its the singer or the listener, its more fun for both, the other

producer said, mockingly.

Let me sing in his place, I sing pretty well too. Chanyeol seemed happy and altogether willing, but

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his voice was far too hoarse and husky.

Youll sing? Now, your voice is really hoarse, the producer said, eliciting a round of laughter in agreement.

Chanyeol said nothing, stuck in an awkward spot, while beside him, Kris seemed to have finally

reached his limit, when Lu Han spoke up.

Ill sing. His face had already gone past the red flush of alcohol, and had gone deathly pale. But I

want to sing a Chinese song, perhaps translator-noona wont understand. Lu Han stood up, leaning on the table, smiling tiredly.

Thats fine, the others said. We only want to hear your voice.

Kris raised his head to look at Lu Han. Lu Han was standing, his hands pressed against the table,

supporting him, as he closed his eyes for a moment. That image was one he would never be able to

forget for the rest of his life.

The familiar rhythm slipped out of the corner of Lu Hans mouth. Olive Tree*. It was a song that Lu Han often hummed to himself, when they were in private.

Out of the entire dinner table, he was the only one who could understand what Lu Han was singing,

but in that moment, he wished that he couldnt. The quiet question that floated through the melody was one that he couldnt answer. As to what that olive tree of dreams was, or where it was

He didnt know either.

*Lu Han sings this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrjQmZ8t8nQ

Lyrics: http://tben.wordpress.com/2011/07/03/lyrics-of-olive-tree-

%E6%A9%84%E6%A6%84%E6%A0%91/

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Chapter 3

note: text that was originally in english are noted by italics in this chapter

The dinner finished when the Japanese board members had finally eaten and drank their fill, and

within their raucous laughter, Lu Han seemed barely conscious and completely drunk. The Japanese

senior manager seemed to have taken quite an interest in Baekhyun, holding him and the translator

back to chat with them non-stop while walking towards the entrance of the restaurant. The

company executives forged through their own exhaustion, and continued to converse

enthusiastically and seriously, while the similarly exhausted and somewhat tipsy Kris, limbs weak,

helped up Lu Han who was sprawled against the table, grabbing him by the arm and guiding him to

the door.

Before theyd even taken a few steps, Lu Han started dry heaving painfully, and Kris quickly brought him to the washroom. Crouching beside the toilet, other than alcohol, Lu Han threw up nothing, as if

his empty stomach had gone on strike.

Kris, how is he? Chanyeol walked into the washroom. He turned to look at Lu Han, still kneeling and dry heaving into the toilet.

You go ahead. We live together, so Ill take him home. Kris looked at Chanyeol and then looked at the person beside him.

Chanyeol looked at the two of them and then turned around to look outside. Alright, he said. Do you have enough cash on you?

I do. Kris nodded, but didnt look up. Chanyeol hesitated for two seconds before he reached into his wallet and pulled out a bill, leaving it next to Kris before running out. Kris stood up and hurried

back into the private room. He poured a glass of water for Lu Han and helped him up as he rinsed

his mouth. He glanced at his watch: 10:40.

It was raining harder by the minute. By the time Kris walked outside, while still supporting Lu Han,

it was already impossible to budge an inch without an umbrella. A black Buick was parked right in

front of the restaurant. The car window rolled down slightly, and a hand beckoned towards them.

Kris was somewhat surprised that the company had been kind enough to realise theyd stayed behind, and to leave a car for them. He fumbled with the handle of the door in the rain before he

managed to get Lu Han inside, sliding inside himself right after and closing the door behind him.

The road hurtled by the window in the darkness, as Kris pressed a hand against Lu Hans forehead. He wondered silently if they had any fever medication left that hadnt expired, pulling out his phone to call Yixing.

Next to him, Lu Hans phone rang, while at the other end of his phone, no one picked up.

He reached into Lu Hans pants pockets, pulling out the phone. It was a phone he couldnt have known better: Yixings white Lenovo. Yixing mustve forgotten the phone in their room again and Lu

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Han had taken it by mistake.

And so, he tried again, calling Lu Hans number this time, and on the other end, the one who picked up was indeed Yixing.

Hey. Yixing, Lu Han took your phone, Kris said.

Yeah. Howre you guys? he said at the other end of the line.

Ill tell you when we get back. Kris rubbed at his temples, head throbbing faintly from the alcohol hed drank. Is there any fever medication and something for hangovers at home? If not, Ill go grab some.

We have them. What happened? Did Lu Hans fever go up? On the other end of the line, his worry

was clear.

Open the windows and air out the room, and get some tea ready. Kris frowned as he flipped through the money in his wallet.

If it doesnt look good, maybe you should go straight to the hospital, Yixing said.

Kris glanced at Lu Han and then shook his head. I dont think he can take much more fuss, and theres always a long wait at the hospital. Well come home first.

Alright, okay, Ill come downstairs to Before the person on the other end of the line finished speaking, Kriss phone finally died, the screen going black. He put his phone back into his bag, glancing at Lu Han beside him, his face flushed red, as one moment he shivered and shrank into his

down jacket, while clawing it off frantically in the next. He pressed his own ice-cold hand against Lu

Hans forehead to cool him down, and when he looked up, found that at some point in time, theyd ended up on the freeway.

Where is this? Kris asked, frowning, but instead, the car turned off towards a small exit, taking them to an even more mysterious place.

Oi! Where are you taking us? Kris reached out to tap the driver on the shoulder, only to find that

the person in front of him was wearing a black surgical mask and large glasses. The person

straightened the hat he was wearing, and spoke with his back facing Kris in a calm, billowing tone.

Theres another car behind us. There are four people in that car. Be good, and you wont be in any danger.

The blood drained from his face as Kris froze for two seconds. He turned to look behind him, and

indeed, an identical black Buick was tailing close behind, and the people in the car seemed to be

wearing the same masks and glasses.

Turning back, Kriss head felt like it was going to split. He wrapped an arm around Lu Han, hand inching towards the phone in Lu Hans pocket.

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Turn off your phone. The persons voice drifted back calmly. From now on, if you make a single phone call without permission, Im afraid that my earlier promise cant be considered valid, the person in front said.

He narrowed his eyes as he regarded the heavy rain outside. Kris leaned forward slightly, blocking

the cold wind that blew in from outside. He turned to regard the black car still following them

closely, and then glanced at Lu Han, limp and shaking beside him, while thousands of possibilities

flew through his aching head. The car drove further and further into the middle of nowhere, and in

the end, he didnt make a call.

Before long, the car came to a stop. Outside, it was a pitch-black village, and not far from where they

were seemed to be a wooden hut where the farmers kept their tools. The door next to them was

opened, and Kris dragged Lu Han who was sprawled against the seat with him, staggering out of the

car. The car thatd been behind them stopped smoothly next to them, and four men got out wearing the same mask, glasses, and hats.

Sirs, what exactly are you doing Kris asked, gasping for breath as he supported Lu Han. We dont have much money, and we wont be useful to you

The driver didnt speak, wordlessly taking Kris and Lu Hans bags and tossing them back into the car as another removed their jackets and threw them into the car as well. They gave the two of

them a simple pat down, and the phone in Lu Hans pocket was fished out and turned off before being tossed into the car too.

The driver pointed at the wooden hut, indicating that they should go there.

He has a fever. Kris looked helplessly at the man. Call a taxi and let him go back, Ill stay.

The person continued to point at the wooden hut, without saying a word.

Kris looked up, glancing at the simple wooden hut, and then lowered his head as he glanced around

him there werent even any passer-bys nearby. The people who were standing behind him tried to drag Lu Han out of his grasp. No, Ill do it, Kris said quickly.

The hut was only maybe around 20 meters squared in size. Two lamps hung from the ceiling,

harshly bright, while the room itself was furnished simply. There was an old-style pendulum clock

hung on the wall, and other than a table and a few chairs, there wasnt much furniture to speak of.

Walking into the room and turning around, Kris couldnt determine which of the men had been

their driver.

One of the men walked to the table and sat down in front of it, taking out a professional looking

camera and fiddling with the focus. Before Kris had time to react, he and Lu Han were separated, as

two men gripped him by the arms, one of the men guarded the door, and another placed Lu Han, his

strength spent, onto a chair.

Sorry, but were just following orders. We wont hurt you. We just need some pictures of you in

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your natural state. The man holding the camera spoke in a low and rushed voice, and then glanced meaningfully at the others. When he glanced back, Kris realised with dismay that his clothes was

being cut off him, starting from the sleeves on both sides. He struggled, but alcohol dulled his

strength and it was if he was being held still in a vice of steel pincers. The man whod been watching the door came over and kicked him in the knees, and the buckle of his pants were undone and

tugged down.

Turning his head wordlessly, Kris saw that Lu Hans pants had already been pushed halfway down. Wait, he said, breathlessly, conceding defeat. Sirs, please wait.

That person looked at Kris while the people beside him stopped moving. Kris hung his head. Tell them to let go of me. I have something to say.

That person looked at him silently. I wont run, Kris said. You have Lu Han. I cant run.

The person mulled it over silently for a few seconds before he glanced up at the people beside him.

One by one, they let go of Kris, while the person whod been standing by the door before went back to his post, the other two standing close on Kriss both sides.

Kris walked towards the table, before he was pulled back by one of the men beside him. Dont go any further. Kris nodded, still catching his breath, grabbing the edge of the table as he half-knelt to the person in front of him.

Sir, if you take these sorts of pictures, you have to know what it would mean for us. Kris looked at him and was met with silence. I know that youre a good person, its just that you want a handle Kris lowered his head, looking at the floor. If you want a handle, then Ill give you a handle, itll

definitely be enough for you He looked at him, and the way his mouth was parted slightly in greed, as the person gestured refusal. Dont turn me down so quickly. Ill show you, Ill do it until youre satisfied. So speaking, Kris looked pleadingly at that person, but the other looked at his camera without speaking.

Standing, Kris walked over to Lu Han, who was still leaning against the chair. Putting his pants back

on, with his upper half bare, Kris helped up the also shirtless Lu Han and leaned him against the

wall.

The entire room turned to look at them. Lu Han also opened his eyes blearily to look at him.

Im sorry, Kris said softly.

Nodding softly, Lu Han smiled weakly. Dont mention it, he said in Chinese.

Kris lowered his head, silent for a few seconds before he pulled Lu Han towards him, pressing a kiss

as light as a butterflys touch against his lips.

He stayed like that for a few seconds, before stopping.

He knew that the people behind him didnt take any pictures.

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He stood there silently, clutching tightly onto Lu Hans hand as he stared out the window. Lu Han

was breathing heavily as he swept the room with the corner of his eye, taking in the people

standing to the side, and the camera. In his mind, the shock was enough to wake him up, but his

head was still in pain and felt like it was on the verge of splitting open. He turned his head back with

great difficult and leaned it against the ice-cold wall. Kriss breaths sounded by his ear, as if asking a silent question.

Closing his eyes, Lu Han nodded his head almost imperceptibly. Ill leave this to you, before it gets any worse.

Steadying his breathing, this time, Kris used his fingers to part Lu Hans lips as he kissed him properly this time. His eyes closed, plunging the world into darkness, as Lu Han thanked his lucky

stars that between the alcohol and his fever, there was no way he could process what was

happening.

Kris had no idea how long this kiss lasted, but he knew that this kiss broke the record for the

longest in his entire life. Among the sea of people watching, he continued to kiss Lu Han as he

slowly moved to where it was brightest, adjusting their positions for every possible angle and

position, inviting the gaze of those situated not too far away. In the quiet room, their passionate

performance continued, while certain nerves were stretched so taut they were near snapping, and

in a moment of hopelessness, his hands drifted slowly down the expanse of the others muscles, down his back, towards his waist.

Beside them, the flash went off a number of times, as the person taking pictures stood up and

walked to the other side. Kris didnt dare to stop his motions, continuing to kiss Lu Han deeply.

Move his hand to your waist. Kris grabbed Lu Hans hand and did as he was told, gently shifting his footsteps.

Move him to the table, and dont block his face with your hands. Kris scooped up Lu Han and dropped him heavily onto the table. He placed his hands on Lu Hans waist, giving them an unobstructed view of their profiles as he continued to kiss him, as the flashing light circled them

from every possible angle.

The sound of the shutter went from being rapid and many in number to slowly becoming few, until

it finally, hesitantly stopped.

Thats enough. The pendulum clock on the wall sounded 11, and from beside them, came the sound of quiet orders and the sound of putting the lens away.

Closing his eyes, Kris pulled away from Lu Hans bruised lips. He lowered his head as he pulled Lu Han against himself, and in the silence, only the sound of their heavy breathing remained.

Behind them were the sounds of putting away the camera and packing their bags. When he passed

by, that