Chapter 6

Writing Bad-News Letters

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing

List the steps in the inductive outline and List the steps in the inductive outline and identify the advantages of using it to convey identify the advantages of using it to convey bad news.bad news.

Write letters refusing a request.Write letters refusing a request. Write letters denying a claim.Write letters denying a claim. Write letters refusing to complete an order.Write letters refusing to complete an order. Write letters denying credit.Write letters denying credit. Write a letter providing constructive Write a letter providing constructive

criticism.criticism. List ways to handle special problems about List ways to handle special problems about

the unpleasant.the unpleasant.

List the steps in the inductive outline and List the steps in the inductive outline and identify the advantages of using it to convey identify the advantages of using it to convey bad news.bad news.

Write letters refusing a request.Write letters refusing a request. Write letters denying a claim.Write letters denying a claim. Write letters refusing to complete an order.Write letters refusing to complete an order. Write letters denying credit.Write letters denying credit. Write a letter providing constructive Write a letter providing constructive

criticism.criticism. List ways to handle special problems about List ways to handle special problems about

the unpleasant.the unpleasant.

Chapter 6 Learning ObjectivesChapter 6 Learning ObjectivesChapter 6 Learning ObjectivesChapter 6 Learning Objectives

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing

TA 6–1 Chapter opener

All managers must know how to All managers must know how to deliver bad news with grace and tact.deliver bad news with grace and tact.All managers must know how to All managers must know how to deliver bad news with grace and tact.deliver bad news with grace and tact.

Whenever possible, offer alternatives to Whenever possible, offer alternatives to “no” and always convey bad news with “no” and always convey bad news with sensitivity and empathy.sensitivity and empathy.

Whenever possible, offer alternatives to Whenever possible, offer alternatives to “no” and always convey bad news with “no” and always convey bad news with sensitivity and empathy.sensitivity and empathy.

FACTORY CLOSING

FACTORY CLOSING

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing

Inductive Outline: Inductive Outline: When the Reader Will Be Displeased When the Reader Will Be Displeased

Inductive Outline: Inductive Outline: When the Reader Will Be Displeased When the Reader Will Be Displeased

TA 6–2 Inductive Outline: When the Reader When Will Be Displeased

Present a neutral idea that leads Present a neutral idea that leads to the reasons for the refusalto the reasons for the refusal

Close with an idea that shifts the Close with an idea that shifts the emphasis away from the refusal emphasis away from the refusal and indicates a continuing and indicates a continuing relationship with the readerrelationship with the reader

State the refusal positively; State the refusal positively; imply the refusal if possibleimply the refusal if possible

Present facts, analysis, and Present facts, analysis, and reasons for the refusalreasons for the refusal

Patton Industries1230 Industrial RoadNaperville, IL 60540

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

www.patton.com

March 18, 1999

Mr. Robert DuncanNeeley Foundation9835 Franklin BuildingCambridge, MA 02140-9835

Dear Bob

You are to be commended for your commitment to create an endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our population.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign, solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.

Sincerely

Angela

Angela LarcheDirector

Although our current personnel shortage prevents us from lending you an executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

The success of this project depends on a good project director. The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you described demand an individual with upper-level managerial experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the minimal level needed.

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing

Techniques for Techniques for De-emphasizing Negative IdeasDe-emphasizing Negative Ideas

Techniques for Techniques for De-emphasizing Negative IdeasDe-emphasizing Negative Ideas

Use inductive outline that positions the bad news Use inductive outline that positions the bad news between a logical explanation and a goodwill closing.between a logical explanation and a goodwill closing.

Imply the bad news if possible. Use subjunctive mood.Imply the bad news if possible. Use subjunctive mood.

Use inductive outline that positions the bad news Use inductive outline that positions the bad news between a logical explanation and a goodwill closing.between a logical explanation and a goodwill closing.

Imply the bad news if possible. Use subjunctive mood.Imply the bad news if possible. Use subjunctive mood.

Had you selected a variable rate, you could have taken advantage of the recent drop in interest rates.

Had you selected a variable rate, you could have taken advantage of the recent drop in interest rates.

Not: We cannot ship your order until . . . .

Instead: Your order will be shipped when. . . .

Not: We cannot ship your order until . . . .

Instead: Your order will be shipped when. . . .

Use positive language that accents the good.Use positive language that accents the good.

Select words with positive connotations.Select words with positive connotations.

State what you can do instead of what you cannot State what you can do instead of what you cannot do.do.

Include a pleasant idea in the refusal sentence.Include a pleasant idea in the refusal sentence.

Use positive language that accents the good.Use positive language that accents the good.

Select words with positive connotations.Select words with positive connotations.

State what you can do instead of what you cannot State what you can do instead of what you cannot do.do.

Include a pleasant idea in the refusal sentence.Include a pleasant idea in the refusal sentence.

TA 6–3 Techniques for De-emphasizing Negative Ideas (Slide 1 of 2)

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing

Offer a counterproposal that shows the writer Offer a counterproposal that shows the writer wants wants to help.to help.

Offer a counterproposal that shows the writer Offer a counterproposal that shows the writer wants wants to help.to help.

Although our current personnel shortage prevents us . ., we can (alternative).

Although our current personnel shortage prevents us . ., we can (alternative).

Not: You failed to verify the payroll figures.

Instead: The payroll figures must be verified. (passive) Please verify the payroll figures. (focuses on the solution—not the problem)

Not: You failed to verify the payroll figures.

Instead: The payroll figures must be verified. (passive) Please verify the payroll figures. (focuses on the solution—not the problem)

TA 6–3 Techniques for De-emphasizing Negative Ideas (Slide 2 of 2)

Use stylistic techniques:Use stylistic techniques:Complex sentence - bad news in the dependent Complex sentence - bad news in the dependent

clauseclause

General terms and abstract nounsGeneral terms and abstract nouns

Passive voicePassive voice

Use stylistic techniques:Use stylistic techniques:Complex sentence - bad news in the dependent Complex sentence - bad news in the dependent

clauseclause

General terms and abstract nounsGeneral terms and abstract nouns

Passive voicePassive voice

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing

Techniques for First ParagraphTechniques for First Paragraph Begin with a buffer - Begin with a buffer -

something about which something about which both sides can agreeboth sides can agree

Avoid empty Avoid empty acknowledgments of the acknowledgments of the obviousobvious

Avoid tipping off the bad Avoid tipping off the bad news too earlynews too early

Avoid starting too positive Avoid starting too positive so as to build false hopesso as to build false hopes

TA 6–4 Bad-News Message: Techniques for First Paragraph

Patton Industries1230 Industrial RoadNaperville, IL 60540

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

www.patton.com

March 18, 1999

Mr. Robert DuncanNeeley Foundation9835 Franklin BuildingCambridge, MA 02140-9835

Dear Bob

You are to be commended for your commitment to create an endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our population.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign, solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.

Sincerely

Angela

Angela LarcheDirector

Although our current personnel shortage prevents us from lending you an executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

The success of this project depends on a good project director. The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you described demand an individual with upper-level managerial experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the minimal level needed.

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing

Techniques for ReasonsTechniques for Reasons and Explanation Section and Explanation Section

Provide a smooth transition Provide a smooth transition from the opening to the from the opening to the explanationexplanation

Precede the bad news with one Precede the bad news with one or more reasons that are or more reasons that are logical to the readerlogical to the reader

Avoid using “company policy” Avoid using “company policy” as the reasonas the reason

Show reader benefit and/or Show reader benefit and/or considerationconsideration

TA 6–5 Bad-News Message: Techniques for Reasons and Explanation Section

Patton Industries1230 Industrial RoadNaperville, IL 60540

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

www.patton.com

March 18, 1999

Mr. Robert DuncanNeeley Foundation9835 Franklin BuildingCambridge, MA 02140-9835

Dear Bob

You are to be commended for your commitment to create an endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our population.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign, solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.

Sincerely

Angela

Angela LarcheDirector

Although our current personnel shortage prevents us from lending you an executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

The success of this project depends on a good project director. The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you described demand an individual with upper-level managerial experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the minimal level needed.

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing

Techniques forTechniques forBad-News SentenceBad-News Sentence

Avoid unnecessary use of Avoid unnecessary use of negative wordsnegative words

Place negative news in buried Place negative news in buried position position

State the bad news once; State the bad news once; avoid restating or returning to itavoid restating or returning to it

Emphasize any positive aspectEmphasize any positive aspect Follow bad news with a Follow bad news with a

counterproposal when possiblecounterproposal when possible

TA 6–6 Bad-News Message: Techniques for Bad-News Sentence

Patton Industries1230 Industrial RoadNaperville, IL 60540

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

www.patton.com

March 18, 1999

Mr. Robert DuncanNeeley Foundation9835 Franklin BuildingCambridge, MA 02140-9835

Dear Bob

You are to be commended for your commitment to create an endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our population.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign, solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.

Sincerely

Angela

Angela LarcheDirector

Although our current personnel shortage prevents us from lending you an executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

The success of this project depends on a good project director. The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you described demand an individual with upper-level managerial experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the minimal level needed.

Business Communication, 12e Lehman and DuFrene 1999 South-Western College Publishing

Techniques forTechniques forClosing ParagraphClosing Paragraph

Convey an empathetic toneConvey an empathetic tone Avoid returning to the bad Avoid returning to the bad

newsnews Avoid trite, worn-out Avoid trite, worn-out

statements that seem statements that seem shallow and superficialshallow and superficial

End with a positive, forward-End with a positive, forward-looking idealooking idea

TA 6–7 Bad-News Message: Techniques for Closing Paragraph

Patton Industries1230 Industrial RoadNaperville, IL 60540

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

www.patton.com

March 18, 1999

Mr. Robert DuncanNeeley Foundation9835 Franklin BuildingCambridge, MA 02140-9835

Dear Bob

You are to be commended for your commitment to create an endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our population.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign, solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.

Sincerely

Angela

Angela LarcheDirector

Although our current personnel shortage prevents us from lending you an executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

The success of this project depends on a good project director. The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you described demand an individual with upper-level managerial experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the minimal level needed.

Use original expression(sentences are not copied directly from the definition of the problem or from sample letters in text); omit clichés)

MechanicsEnsure that keyboarding, spelling, grammar, and

punctuation are perfectFormatUse correct letter format (block, modified block, or

simplified) and punctuation style (open or mixed)Balance letter on the pageInclude standard letters parts in appropriate

positionInclude special parts if necessary (subject line,

enclosure, copy, etc.)

Use original expression(sentences are not copied directly from the definition of the problem or from sample letters in text); omit clichés)

MechanicsEnsure that keyboarding, spelling, grammar, and

punctuation are perfectFormatUse correct letter format (block, modified block, or

simplified) and punctuation style (open or mixed)Balance letter on the pageInclude standard letters parts in appropriate

positionInclude special parts if necessary (subject line,

enclosure, copy, etc.)

Check Your Writing:Check Your Writing:Unpleasant MessagesUnpleasant MessagesCheck Your Writing:Check Your Writing:

Unpleasant MessagesUnpleasant Messages

Check Your Writing:Check Your Writing:Unpleasant MessagesUnpleasant MessagesCheck Your Writing:Check Your Writing:

Unpleasant MessagesUnpleasant MessagesContent Be sure the principal idea (the

unpleasant idea or refusal) is sufficiently clear

Use sufficient supporting details and present them in a logical sequence

Verify accuracy of facts or figures Structure the message to meet ethical

and legal requirements

Organization Structure the first sentence to introduce

the general subject • without stating the bad news• without leading the reader to

expectgood news

• without making such an obviousstatement as “I am replying to yourletter” or “Your letter has been

received” Place details or explanations before bad

news

Content Be sure the principal idea (the

unpleasant idea or refusal) is sufficiently clear

Use sufficient supporting details and present them in a logical sequence

Verify accuracy of facts or figures Structure the message to meet ethical

and legal requirements

Organization Structure the first sentence to introduce

the general subject • without stating the bad news• without leading the reader to

expectgood news

• without making such an obviousstatement as “I am replying to yourletter” or “Your letter has been

received” Place details or explanations before bad

news

Precede the main idea (unpleasant idea) with meaningful discussion

Use a closing sentence that is positive (an alternative, resale, or sales promotion)

Style Write clearly and concisely (e.g., words are

easily understood) Use techniques of subordination to keep the

bad news from emerging with unnecessary vividness. For example bad news• appears in a dependent clause• is stated through indirect statement• is revealed the use of subjunctive mood

Use first person sparingly or not at all Make ideas cohere (changes in thought are

not abrupt) Use relatively short sentences that vary in

length and structure Keep paragraphs relatively short

Precede the main idea (unpleasant idea) with meaningful discussion

Use a closing sentence that is positive (an alternative, resale, or sales promotion)

Style Write clearly and concisely (e.g., words are

easily understood) Use techniques of subordination to keep the

bad news from emerging with unnecessary vividness. For example bad news• appears in a dependent clause• is stated through indirect statement• is revealed the use of subjunctive mood

Use first person sparingly or not at all Make ideas cohere (changes in thought are

not abrupt) Use relatively short sentences that vary in

length and structure Keep paragraphs relatively short