success vs joy

8/9/2019 Success vs Joy

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SUCCESS vs JOY


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Table of Contents

Copyright . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . vi

Acknowledgement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . vii

About the Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . viii

I. JOY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

1. The Meaning of My Life is Joy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

2. Growing Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

3. The Experience of Joy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

4. A Deluded World Champion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

5. Rebuilding from the Ground Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

6. The Joys of the Sweet Spot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

7. The Mind-Body-Soul Alignment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

8. Pure Action . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

9. Your Lifes Passion: The Arena of Pure Action . . . . . . . . 17

10. Joy and Multiple Intelligences . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

11. Concentration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19

12. Snatching Defeat from the Jaws of Victory . . . . . . . . . . 20

13. The Numb Mind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

14. Multitasking Doesnt Work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

15. Consistency . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

16. Humility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

17. Im But an Instrument in Gods Game . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

18. The Zone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

19. Demons in the Mind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

20. Use Stress to Calm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

21. Middle-Class Drive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

22. Life Can Be Unfairbut Persistence Annihilates Luck31

II. SUCCESS vs JOY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

1. Success: The Corruption of Joy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

2. Temptations from Apsaras . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

3. Success is a Social Concept . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

4. Fame . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

5. Handling Fame . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

6. I Would Rather Do Than Know . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

7. Coping with Pressure: Eliminate If . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408. Dealing with Basic Fight-or-Flight Anxiety . . . . . . . . . 41

9. Visualization . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

10. Knowing the Path vs Walking the Path . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43

11. There is No Such Thing as Competition . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

12. Playing to Expectations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

13. Rising Away From Your Joy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47

14. Golden Handcuffs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

15. Character Flaws Creep In . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50

16. Life is a Challenge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51

17. The Challenge of Transcending Defeat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53

18. The Challenge of Transcending Pain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54

19. Meeting the Challenge: Mental Equilibrium . . . . . . . . . 55

20. Simplify . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

21. Harmony with Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

22. My Journey from Control to Emotion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58


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23. Kirans Path to Joy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

24. Duties . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

25. My Struggle with Joy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62

26. Joy! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62


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Copyright

Copyright 2004, 2013, Geet Sethi and Sunil Agarwal.

All rights reserved worldwide.

This book was self-published by the authors Geet Sethi and Sunil Agarwal.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form by any means,

digital or otherwise, without the express permission of the authors.

For permissions contact Sunil Agarwal at [email protected]

Copy Editor: Matt Stevens

Design: XXX

Success vs Joy contains brief excerpts from the following works:

The Matrix. Copyright 1999, Warner Brothers Pictures.

Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences.

Copyright 1983, Howard Gardner.

Multiple Intelligences: New Horizons. Copyright 2006, Howard Gardner.

Vedanta Treatise: The Eternities. Copyright 2006, Parthasarathy Avula.

All copyrighted material appears under the fair use exception to United

States and other nations copyright laws, and under the fair dealing exception

to Canadian and other Commonwealth of Nations copyright laws.

ISBN 978 XXXXXX

Version e1.0 (2014)

Acknowledgement

My co-author friend Sunil Agarwal and I spent many hours ex-

ploring my lifelong struggle to rein in the mind. The result of

those conversations has been collected into this book with the

hope that my experience may serve as a guide to you in your

own search for joy.


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About the Author

Born in India in 1961, billiards legend Geet Sethi, has won nine

world championships and held numerous world records. He is

the only cueist in history to have scored a 147 (maximum possi-

ble) break in a snooker match and made a break of 1,000 in com-

petitive billiards.

A major sports hero in India, Sethi is a recipient of Indiashighest sporting award, the Khel Ratna for 1993, and both the

Padma Shri and the Arjuna Award in 1986.

Sethi lives in Ahmedabad, India with his wife Kiran, an edu-

cationist and Ted Fellow. They have a son and daughter, Raag

and Jazz.

Currently he is promoting a non-prot venture called

Olympic Gold Quest committed to supporting promising Indian

athletes.

Dedicated to

Kiran,

and

to My Parents


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I. JOY

. T M M L J

For 40 years, I have fought an internal struggle in meditative

silence. This personal combat has taken place almost entirely

around a green baize table in a dark room, the genteel surround-

ings sometimes at odds with my inner self. Ive engaged in reec-

tion in an attempt to evolve through a game that appears to have

been destined for me. Its now time for me to share the thoughts,

sensations, and feelings that made me aware of myself.

This is not a book for athletes. It is for you, who have strug-

gled to nd meaning in your life, in your own way, just like I

have through my game.

The meaning of the word joy is often misunderstood and

its value easily forgotten, underrated in the speed of todaysworld. I believe I speak from the heart and with conviction, giv-

en that Ive spent countless hours in complete solitude, trying to

align myself with my natural being.

I now believe that it is the act of staying in the moment that

gives immense, immeasurable joy. To me such joy is the ultimate

and true measure of success. I dene the meaning of my life as

being in these moments of joy.


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2. GROWING UP SUCCESS VS JOY

12 13

. G U

As a child, I would spend many hours on my own. I learned to

enjoy solitude. I remember I was a stoic as a child as well; I rare-

ly revealed my emotions to others. I loved ying kites, playing

with marbles, andgulli danda, an ancient Indian street game thatmight be the progenitor of baseball and cricket. When I wasnt

playing games or swimming, I would read and listen to music.

Even today, Im quite content with myself; I do not have to so-

cialize to be happy.

My father was in the government service and I was told

that I should study and always be somewhat above average in

school. I was never asked by my parents to be rst in my class;

and as such, there was no pressure on me to excel academically.

Fortunately, from the age of 11, I started performing quitewell in sports. I took part in the national swimming champion-

ship when I was 12. My father did not mind me playing all day

as long as I was a B student.

My parents never spoiled me when I was young. I was not

given the kind of pocket money that might have led me astray.

Even as a child, I learned the virtues of discipline. I would cy-

cle 15 kilometers to school, come back home in the evening at

ve oclock, and 30 minutes later, again cycle for 10 kilometers

to an hour-long swimming session. This was not aimless leisure-

ly swimming but a structured coaching course, which involvedswimming at least 2,000 meters. By the time I returned home, it

would be almost 10 p.m. By then I would be totally exhausted

and would slump into bed quickly to enter the deepest of deep

slumbers.

This was my typical schedule for three years. I grew accus-

tomed to such a rigorous routine early in life. I realized much

later how such a routine helped give me strength and willpower.

. T E J

When I rst picked up a billiard cue, I was fortunate that no one

was watching. I played, from the start, for the sheer exhilaration

the game gave me. I had no benchmarks, no pre-conceived stan-

dards to attain, and no need to impress anyone. Looking back, Iwas also lucky not to have been an instrument being played by

somebody else, not my parents, teachers, cousins, or classmates.

I played for myself and I played for the sheer joy of the moment.

Thus, as a kid, I had no great burning desire or ambition. My

decision to play billiards was intuitive, not logical. Every time I

would go to the table, Id tell myself that I simply had to keep on

improving the benchmarks I set for myself.

I hit the balls as I saw them, time and time again, and then

some more. I concentrated, not simply on what might have beenout of kilter with my technique, but also on what was inherently

right. I was fortunate that no one kept track of the score, least of

all me. At the age of 13, I became hopelessly and utterly addicted

to an experience that I could not verbalize at that time. But it cer-

tainly didnt incorporate counting the points as the balls fell into

the pockets.

Along the way, I discovered the pleasures of concentration.

I played. I experienced joy. There was nothing else on my mind.

Since my childhood, I have been obsessed with the joy my game

has given me. I have been addicted to it. I have surrendered to it.The game was, and is, a form of meditation for me. When I

am on the table, I am lost to everything else. There are no distrac-

tions; nothing else matters. That is my experience with true joy.

. A D W C

I grew up believing in myself. I was alone, yet never lonely. As I


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4. A DELUDED WORLD CHAMPION SUCCESS VS JOY

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grew, I realized I really didnt needto be with anyone. I did not

question anybody and I did not want to be questioned. There

was no pressure on me to perform. I wanted to be left to myself.

From age 13 to 24, I had no aspirations to become a world

champion. Nobody in my family was obsessed with anything the

way I was with billiards.

So, even when I won my rst world title, I didnt really think

Id achieved anything signicant. That moment is still a big blur

for me.

For almost a year after I rst won the world title, I would

be regularly invited as the chief guest for various functions, the

openings of shops and restaurants, and launching products.

People would listen to each and every inane remark I would

make on some television show or the other.

One day I woke up to the fact that I had acquired a ratherhigh prole. All of a sudden, strangers would stop me on the

street to shake my hand. I was signing autographs on aircraft

boarding cards.

It was all so heady that I almost ended up believing I was in-

deed the Chosen One. But chosen by whom, chosen for what?

Without realizing it, I had become caught up in an intoxication

that was pretty useless for me most of the time.

After I captured my second world billiards title, in 1987, I se-

riously started considering billiards as a profession, as a means

of enhancing my own lifestyle and that of my family. But a year

later, just as I decided to make the game my profession, my form

collapsed.

My mind was too focused on the result to be able to concen-

trate on the game.

Fortunately, I realized that I needed to get back to work on

the table, because it was only at the table that I truly experienced

joy.

. R G U

This was a period when my mind became enmeshed with con-

fusion over my technique. I realized I had to return to practic-

ing very, very hard. After six months of non-stop social interac-

tion, I went back into my solitude. I began practicing 14 hours aday. I started to reconstruct my technique almost from scratch,

attempting to get my cue action right. I slowly rebuilt my game

after much confusion, frustration, and despair. Those 14 hours of

daily practice were critical.

Slowly, I rediscovered the joy of being happy with what I did

and with myself. By 1991, I had again achieved the alignment

and control in my cue action, and in 1992 I won the world profes-

sional title. For me, what was most important wasnt the title it-

self, but the fact that I had been able to reconstruct my techniqueand rediscover my game. That gave me immense joy.

These years that led to my world professional title were a

spell of rediscovery; it was a time when I went back to basics,

when I once again played for joy.

. T J S S

Many years later, when I rst took up that bafing, yet beguiling,

Scottish export known as golf, I was practicing down at the driv-ing range when I struck one particular ball that felt like a feather.

That little white sphere became airborne, not with the force of

my body, but with a perfect connection of club to ball. Such a

connection is the culmination of perfect alignment, rhythm, and

timing and is called the sweet spot.

An accomplished player in virtually any sport and certainly

in any ball sport will have experienced the addiction of the sweet


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7. THE MIND-BODY-SOUL ALIGNMENT SUCCESS VS JOY

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spot. And it was this sweet spot that I felt as a 13-year-old, after

only a few months of exposure to my game.

It is not as if I manage to play that perfect stroke all the time.

But I just keep trying. The joy is in the effort of aligning ones

entire being, not the outcome of the stroke. It is in the trying, not

necessarily in the passing of the test.

. T M-B-S A

The meaning of words often depends on the context in which

they are deployed. You could ask someone the denition of a

word such as alignment. The dictionary meaning of align-

ment would be in a straight line. However, for a golfer it

could mean the path that is facing a target.For me, alignment means an individuals mind, body, and

soul working in perfect harmony. This alignment is the basis of

performance and, most importantly, of nding the true joy that

we all aspire to, the joy that eludes us most of the time.

One of the most important things billiards has taught me is

that it takes an immense amount of self-control and discipline

to keep your mind aligned to your body. It is the same in life.

We have to keep working toward this goal all our lives, in order

to perfect the harmony in our actions. When the body works in

harmony with the mind, it provides a winning combinationnotonly in a game, but also in the pursuit of joy for the moment.

Sounds simple? Its not. It took me 30 years of non-stop ac-

tion, 10 hours a day of hard and passionate work, to understand

the importance of being able to align my mind, body, and soul in

rhythm. Notice that Im not saying that it took this long to under-

stand howto do it; I learned that long ago. It took me that long to

groove it as a routine with some level of consistency.

Most of us would like to believe that we are intelligent and

that we appreciate and understand this. Intuitively, most of us

know what is good for us in the long run. But we do not listen to

our inner voice because of the distractions around us.

We believe we have to control other people or events to be

able to bring equilibrium to our lives. Controlling others is not

what I want to do or enjoy doing. I much prefer concentrating

on that which brings me happiness and joy by keeping my mind,

body, and soul in perfect balance and harmony. This is what I

strive to achieve.

. P A

Success is a good thing. Success or failure is a result of our ac-tions. But a focus on the outcome rather than on the action is not

pure action.

True success is said to be a result of pure action by Swami

A. Parthasarathy, in his book Vedanta Treatise: The Eternities. He

describes pure action as action that has three qualitiescon-

centration, consistency, and humility. Pure action lies in hitting

the sweet spot.

When you can achieve pure action, you will experience the

precisely attuned state that I call joy. Joy lies in that innitesi -

mal moment when all thoughts, aspirations, hopes, goals, andbeliefs become non-existent. There is no thought or focus on the

outcome. Joy is that compressed moment in which your inner be-

ing is in complete harmony with everything.

. Y L P: T A P A

For every person, there is a great passionan engrossing


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10. JOY AND MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES SUCCESS VS JOY

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endeavor that best suits you. That passion, whatever it is, is the

arena where you pursue joy. It is not necessarily a lifelong pas-

sion, as our interests change as we grow. Nor is it necessarily an

exclusive passion. Depending on your stage in life, your natu-

ral bent and your circumstances, you might sustain twin pas-

sions for hiking and your family, or writing and basketball. But

it needs to engage you down to the core, and be a primary focus

for your energies.

. J M I

Each of us carries a kit of mental tools for understanding the

world around us, and acting on what we see. While all of us

have the same basic set of tools, the tools in each individuals kitvary in power and exibility. This is due to a mixture of learning,

practice, and genetics.

Formally, this concept is known as the theory of multiple in-

telligences. First articulated in 1983 by developmental psycholo-

gist Dr. Howard Gardner, it posits the existence of eight forms

of human intelligence: linguistic, logical-mathematical, musical,

spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and nat-

uralist. All healthy human brains rely on these eight intelligenc-

es, in various mixes, to interact with the world and with the self.

When you consider the totality of human endeavor summedup in these words, you begin to appreciate the tremendous, excit-

ing scope of joy. Depending on your own makeup, you can nd

joy in new abstract thought, pure physical action, or your rela-

tionships with others. You can nd it in mathematics or soccer,

teaching or parenting.

Joy is not, itself, part of the multiple intelligences. Dr. Gardner

himself has discussed joy (as being at one with the world, or

ow), and concluded that it is supplementary to intelligence,

rather than integral to its functioning. I, myself, consider joy to

be an end, and use of intelligence to be the means to that end. I

have my own spiritual beliefs as to what that joy might signify,

but theyre not central to this book. Its enough that pursuing joy

brings balance to your life, and that nding it makes you happy.

If youre currently looking for your passion, consider each of

the eight forms of intelligence, and see which ones sound like

you. Then, free associate. Think of pursuits that go with your

types of intelligence. Think back across the years of your life, and

try to remember the moments when action itself made you hap-

py. Not actionfor someone, not action to attain somethingjust the

action alone. There is an instinctive wisdom in the human body

and mind, where great happiness marks an event deeply in your

psyche. Listen to it.In my own case, I was fortunate. I stumbled across my pas-

sion when I was young, and never let go. All I can tell you is,

keep trying different things. Keep learning, and dont give up.

Listen to your instincts.

. C

Swami Parthasarathy denes concentration as the intellect

supervising the mind to remain in the present. Intellect, asParthasarathy describes it, is the faculty of reasoning or un-

derstanding ourselves objectively. Mind relates to a persons

determination, will, imagination, or memory. Parthasarathys

intellect corresponds to Gardners intrapersonal intelligence:

knowledge of the internal aspects of a person: access to ones

own feeling life, ones range of emotions, the capacity to effect

discriminations among these emotions and eventually to label


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12. SNATCHING DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF VICTORY SUCCESS VS JOY

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them and to draw upon them as a means of understanding and

guiding ones own behavior.

The mind has a tendency to run away from the present. It

can create an illusionary world of its own. It can fall prey to spe-

cious reasoning. It can be inuenced. It brings back thoughts of

the past or creates anxieties of the future.

The mind breaks your concentration and if unsupervised,

will not let you be in the moment.

. S D J V

Heres an amazing story that illustrates concentration and un-

derlines its importance. It is the story of James Wattana, a young

man from Thailand who uprooted, and traveled to England in

1989 to compete on the professional tour, when he was only 18.

Wattana was from a lower middle class family. His mother

managed a snooker club in Bangkok. In his third year in England,

he reached the seminals of the Mita World Masters, a snooker

tournament in which the rst prize was a towering 200,000 (at

the time it was the biggest winners check in the games history).

Despite suffering from a virus, Wattana was doing well

against the celebrated Jimmy White in a best of 19-frames match,

and led 8-6. The audience at the National Exhibition Center in

Birmingham was stunned when Wattana missed a straightfor-ward shot that proved pivotal. He went on to lose 10-8.

Immediately after the match, in the pressroom, a reporter

asked Wattana why he had lost after seemingly being in control.

He replied with great candor, When I led 8-6, my mind wan-

dered to a street in Bangkok where there is a house that I want-

ed to buy for my mother with the prize money. His mind was

momentarily distracted from the presentthe irrevocable stroke,

the frame, the match, and of course, the tournament.

It is remarkable how in one-hundredth of a second a thought

that enters your mind can take you thousands of miles awayto

some other part of the world or even to another planet. The mind

has to be continuously reined in and supervised so that it does

not run away.

It would be interesting to analyze frame-wise what must

have gone through Wattanas mind after his thoughts mean-

dered into that street in Bangkok. At that crucial juncture, his

mind was only on the house, which he so deeply wanted to pur-

chase. Though he subsequently missed ball after ball, he still re-

mained condent. But he realized that concentration had been

surrendered, and he desperately tried to get his mind back from

Bangkok and into the match arena. Yet the mind has a will of itsown, as Wattana discovered to his frustration. Hard as he tried,

his mind refused to play ball because the subconscious desire for

that dream house was so dominant.

Suddenly there was an urgent need for recovering his concen-

tration and Wattana ordered his mind to come back to the table.

The mind obliged, but not fully; even as he got some concentra-

tion back, his opponent Jimmy White began to click into his own

rhythm and uency substituted for weakness. Fear overwhelmed

Wattana as he saw his dream house disappearing. Note that the

key words here are his dream house. His mind, almost as if in

auto mode, had gone back into the dream house. Earlier, he was

savoring the moment when he would buy it; now he was fretting

over the possible loss of something he never actually owned.

Living in the future is professional suicide. Living in the past

is sometimes even more dangerous. The past can keep resur-

facing. Wattana collapsed completely and lost the closing four


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13. THE NUMB MIND SUCCESS VS JOY

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frames in only 37 minutes; while White went on to beat Maltas

Tony Drago for the title the following day.

This cautionary tale illustrates the frightening power that the

mind possesses when it stays in the moment and the immense

self-destruction it can bring by wandering into the future or the

past.

. T N M

Thirteen months later, there was another astounding incident,

again featuring James Wattana as its central gure. Wattana was

playing in the 1992 British Open in the English town of Derby

when, on entering the venue, his manager imparted some ter-

rible newsWattanas father had been shot in Bangkok. Wattana

did not inch. He carried on, beat Tony Drago to reach the quar-

ternals, and compiled a maximum break of 147 in the process.

The same Wattana was now responsible for the highest break

possible in the sport of snooker. A break of 147 is a feat like a

perfect game by a pitcher in baseball, or 10 wickets in an innings

by a cricket bowler. In the backstage dressing room, after leaving

the arena to a standing ovation, he was told his father had died.

How did Wattana do it? The only possible explanation I

can offer is that his mind must have become numb. The shock

completely blanked his mind. He played as if he was a zombie.Whatever state of turmoil his subconscious mind may have been

in, his cue delivery was at its purest. His mind did not waver

even innitesimally from the present. That is the ultimate power

of concentration.

. M D W

I believe that concentration is binary. You are either concentrating

or you are not. The mind can focus on only one thing at a time. I

get distracted for ve seconds or so every now and then. That is

enough for my entire being to be enveloped by that stray thought

and to go off to another placea fantasy world or a world of

insecurity. If I do not consciously keep supervising my mind to

keep stray thoughts from inltrating, I nd that thoughts come

at random, without purpose or warning. So the act of supervis-

ing the mind is a conscious, on-going effort.

As responsibilities towards work, family, or society increase,

the mind gets stretched. In such situations, I have to endeavor to

distance myself from others so that their concerns and problems

do not affect me. This carries the risk of making me appear cold

and unfeeling to some. That is not the case. But I need that dis-

tance to completely wipe my mind of everything other than whatI wish to concentrate on. To serve others, I must temporarily re-

move my focus from them to concentrate upon the task.

. C

Consistency is the second element of pure action. It is built

through perseverance and hard work. Consistency means

the ability to stick with what you have to, come what may.

Consistency is the quality possessed by the great badmintonplayer Prakash Padukone, which made him not want to watch

a movie for six years because it would have interfered with his

training schedule. Consistency is a fairly simple concept to un-

derstand but extremely difcult to apply to ones life because of

the innumerable diversions and desires thrown our way.

A consistent person will understand how to manage the

day-to-day distractions that preoccupy most of usit could be


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16. HUMILITY SUCCESS VS JOY

24 25

problems in a relationship with ones spouse, it could be an is-

sue concerning a childs education, it could be related to ones

healththe list is endless.

You have to regularly convince yourself that the only impor-

tant thing for the moment is what you wish to do for yourself.

Nothing else should matter.

This is a mental skill, and like any skill, it can be honed

through exercise. You can build your mental ability to be consis-

tent through repeated practice of your chosen craft. Rehearsal of

a well-known action allows you to build your ability to focus, be-

cause it makes the other variables in your mind stand out. When

you can see the distractions, you can learn to let them go. In my

own training, once I achieved a certain standard, I acquired con-

dence in my ability to replicate my actions at that high level. I

achieved consistency, which in turn reafrmed my condence inmyself.

Practice honing your technique into a groove.

Practice building condence. You need it in pressure

situations.

Practice gaining understanding. When you understand the

stroke, you understand the game; more importantly, you under-

stand yourself.

. H

The third essential aspect of pure action is humility. It is not as

if individual effort is unimportant. What is equally, if not more

important is to possess a spirit of humility to realize that you are

not the only one responsible for your accomplishments.

A billiards player, for instance, should acknowledge the

contribution of the person who has spent considerable time

manufacturing his cue, the table on which he is playing, the balls

he is hitting, and so on. Then there is the input of his coach. One

must also recognize the contribution of parents, spouse, children,

and friends who have, often silently, spared no effort in giving

the love, the attention, and the sustenance that built the foun-

dation. One can easily ignore these contributions, take them for

granted, and start believing that excellence is entirely the prod-

uct of ones own effort.

Humility comes from the appreciation that there may have

been a million circumstances that arranged themselves for your

benet and enabled you to fulll your potential. True legends

realize this, and therefore, play down their achievements. For

them, humility is second nature. They learn to respect and accept

the fact that forces outside their own selves have, in a major way,

been responsible for their accomplishments.

. I B I G G

The 18th century Austrian musical genius Wolfgang Amadeus

Mozart once said that he felt as if God was playing an instrument

through him.

From a more secular point of view, when I look back, there

have been millions of circumstances and situations that arranged

themselves in an intricate pattern that allowed me to be whatI am. It would have been pointless to try to comprehend all of

these, let alone to try to manipulate them all as I went. The inu-

ences on our course through life are far too many to understand,

and the great majority of them are beyond our control. As an in-

dividual with limited powers, the only response that has made

sense is for me to humbly accept that I am aoat on a current of

life, and that it guides me even while I guide myself.


14/32

18. THE ZONE SUCCESS VS JOY

26 27

This has helped me to understand a fascinating story told

by the African-American civil rights activist, the Reverend Dr.

Martin Luther King, Jr. King had carefully prepared the text of

a very important speech he was supposed to deliver. When he

spoke, however, what he said was not what he had prepared ear-

lier with such diligence. His extemporaneous speech moved mil-

lions. His words, he said later, had come straight from God.

King lived an eventful and passionate life, and focused on

the goal of liberating a disenfranchised populace. Through him

passed millions of currents; upon him broke millions more. He

rode the river of events even as he sought to navigate it, and

even to channel it. That he accomplished all these things with-

out capsizingthat he sailed well until the moment he diedis

a testament to his humility and his focus.

The river of lives on which King sailed is what some peoplecall destiny. The ability to open himself, in humility, in order to

channel them through his spirit and into words and deeds, is the

ability to tap into the force of God.

. T Z

After a high-quality match, particularly the nal of a tourna -

ment, I nd myself emotionally drained. I tend to celebrate

with a hot soup and an early night because I nd I am emotion -ally, mentally, and physically drained. I remember back in 1993,

after I won the nals of the world professional championship in

Mumbai, I didnt even have the energy to stand. All my friends

were gathered there to celebrate my victory, but I was exhausted

and slept like a baby.

There is another state that players reach. It is much like

an out-of-body experience, a trance. I have gone through this

experience on three occasions. In this state, I could actually see

myself playing.

If one reaches such a level of intense concentration, playing

the game becomes absolutely effortless. At such moments I nd

that Im able to control the balls with pinpoint precisionliter-

ally to the last micro-millimeter.

I have watched many great athletes enter what may be called

the zone or perfect zonea phase when they can do no

wrong.

When I am in this state of trance, Im completely unaware of

the world around me. My concentration is at its peak, my game

is being played without any aws, and still, I am in a sense out-

side myself.

A trance does not last very long, perhaps for a few seconds,

or at best for a few minutes. In such a state, you feel you are onewith the universe. You are wide-awake and yet, you cannot seem

to sense that you are breathing.

. D M

Exactly what is it that prevents a person from focusing on that

which he or she wishes to pursue the most? The enemies of fo-

cus are the demons in the mind. These demons are usually self-

created, and they result in a breakdown of the alignment of onesmind, body, and spirit. It is only after one understands how these

demons come into being that one can start the process of pushing

them aside, if not destroying them altogether.

While playing a game such as golf or billiards, a player needs

to focus and concentrate on aligning his mind, body, and spirit.

He cannot let his attention waver. He cannot afford to be dis-

tracted by extraneous elements. Instead of concentrating on the


15/32

20. USE STRESS TO CALM SUCCESS VS JOY

28 29

stroke, a player could be wondering, you know my tee-off was

not very good. The very thought of anything other than the im-

mediate task can manifest itself into a new demon in the mind of

the player.

These demons are negative thoughts that keep recurring.

They are just disruptive ideas that haunt you. The more you

think, the more they will overwhelm you and destroy your con-

centration when you need it the most. It is vital to be able to con-

trol the thoughts that race through your mind.

To become a master of your mind, you have to learn the art

and the science of discarding that which is negative, the demon

that destroys your alignment, the idea that blocks your path to fo-

cus and lays waste your concentration in a millionth of a second.

In order to exorcise the demons in your head, try to prac-

tice how to remove all thoughts from your mind. This cannot bedone overnight. It is a very long and lonely road that takes years

of practice. Try to habituate yourself in doing this everywhere.

You will develop the power to be able to concentrate and focus

on what you really wish to.

As we will see, a very important tool for removing stray

thoughts is simplifying your lifestyle. A dissipated lifestyle cre-

ates many demons.

. U S C

All of the role models whose stories I tell in this book have one

trait in commonthe ability to remain calm in the most stressful

situations. They welcome stress, embrace it, and have, over the

years, learned to convert it into serenity.

It may be obvious that, in the moment of play, you shouldnt

berate yourself for bad strokes. It might be less obvious that you

shouldnt applaud yourself for good strokes. Some players like

cheering themselves, to divert themselves from stress. I am not

among them. If I kept on saying Come on Geet! Come on Geet!

while I was playing, I would only end up becoming agitated. I

have to be ready for the next stroke, then the next, and then the

one after that. The secret is to forget the past, including the good

strokes, and give the present your best. I would rather remain

calm and concentrate on my technique and enjoy the sweet spot.

In sport, the term killer instinct is used frequently. For me,

someone with killer instinct can remain in the present, complete-

ly oblivious to the state of the match. Yes, there are athletes who

scream and shout during a match, but that is merely to release

tension to soothe the nerves. There is a calm before and after a

storm. That same principle is true for the mind. To me, killer

instinct is another expression for concentration.I met Rahul Dravid, a former Indian cricket captain, a few

weeks after he was rst dropped from the Indian cricket team.

I was training at the Kanteerva Stadium in Bangalore as part of

our preparation for the Asian Games to be held in Bangkok in

1998. I saw him push himself to the limit. He was working on

his physical tness. His trainer Bidu was throwing a heavy sand-

lled ball the size of a soccer ball at him. Rahul himself was lying

on his stomach and was catching the ball above his head. This

is a difcult enough exercise to do with a cricket ball, but with a

heavy ball it becomes almost impossible. Just imagine the impact

on his shoulders.

I saw Rahul punish himself like this for almost an hour. He

later said that he felt the need to work on his upper-body tness.

Every morning he was there, earlier than all the other state-level

athletes who trained in that stadium. He had no regrets about be-

ing dropped from the team at the time.

I could only see ne lines of determination etched on his


16/32

21. MIDDLE-CLASS DRIVE SUCCESS VS JOY

30 31

sweat-laden facelines that were carved by a burning obsession

to improve his own benchmarks of excellence.

He was actually enjoying the hard work, and relishing the

monotony and pain. He sensed there had been a drop in his peak

performance and in order to get that back he concentrated on

leading a highly disciplined life. Self-discipline led to calmness,

which became ever-evident in his visage. The calmness on his

face had become part of his being and his self. His mind was still.

. M-C D

Im grateful I was brought up in a middle-class household. I be-

lieve that too much luxury during the formative years and the

security of nancial comfort can dull the spirit of enterprise.

Conversely, some children of well-to-do parents cannot deliver

because of their in-built anxiety to outperform unrealistic bench-

marks. They equate winning and losing in sports, or their level of

academic achievement, to the gain or loss of their so-called social

status.

I believe that children should not be spoiled by giving in to

all their desires without them having to work for them. They

will never struggle enough to go through the pain and value

the pleasures of accomplishment. I believe that character is built

only through intense and incessant discipline and perseverance.Without going through the proverbial blood, sweat, and tears

during youth, you cannot hope to build character.

I am aware that growing up in a happy middle-class family, as

opposed to growing up in an environment of emotional insecu-

rity or ghting for survival, conferred certain practical blessings

on me. I had the luxury of being able to focus on a target, without

having to live with major insecurities, emotional or nancial, at

home. I know in my bones that I would have contrived to get at

that billiards table, one way or another. However, my parents

achievements smoothed my way. I was born at a time and place

where I had the incentive to climb anda ladder to climb with.

An upcoming athlete must have the re in his belly to chisel

the ab of bad habits out of him. While you can build self-disci -

pline under any circumstances, as a practical matter I benetted

from the balance of circumstances that came from a good mid-

dle-class background. I had more to gain, and less to lose.

. L C B U P

A L

The game has taught me many lessons. One is that Lady Luckcannot always be with you. It is a stone-cold certainty that your

luck will run out one day, perhaps when you least expect it.

Good times and bad are a part of life. Our existence would

otherwise be pretty boring. It is said that a certain amount of ad-

versity is good for everyone. On many occasions, I have missed

an easy shot because the ball rolled over some invisible speck

of dust on the table. Was this a case of bad luck? Should I have

cursed my fate? On the contrary, one should always keep in mind

the numerous occasions when the same invisible particle of dust

might have caused the ball to move in a favorable direction!As one achieves higher standards in ones actions, the ele-

ment of luck tends to diminish. If I analyze the millions of shots I

have played over the last 30 years (over 10 million), I would have

to acknowledge the fact that my luck has evened out. For every

occasion that luck deserted me, there would be an occasion when

it came to my aid. What Im saying is not exaggerated.

The more you commit yourself to action, the less inuence


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22. LIFE CAN BE UNFAIRBUT PERSISTENCE ANNIHILATES LUCK

32

luck can have. If you act a few times, luck can materially inu-

ence your total experience. If you act a thousand times, you an-

nihilate luck. Only merit remains.

One has to remain stoic in the face of both good luck and bad.

To allow a sliver of bad luck to distract you is to stand in the face

of the principle and denition of concentration. So, learn to ac-

cept the bad times with the good. And remember that the more

you act, the more you take fortune into your own hands.

II. SUCCESS vs JOY

. S: T C J

The fabric of my life changed in 1992. Winning the professional

world championship (my third world title) made me a public g-

ure and all that goes with it. There were material rewards as well.

I started wearing a Rolex and got myself a big new car. I start-

ed becoming easily inuenced by other people, especially those

who were rich and powerful.

With recognition and riches at the age of 32, came a corrup-

tion in lifestyle. It came insidiously but enveloped me. I started

living my life in terms of measurable results and did not get

exhilarated by joyous feelings. My concentration had been dis-

turbed. With success came distress. My world had changed. The

distractions that inevitably come with fame and success had en-veloped me. The game was no longer the end but a means to-

ward achieving the end.

The only redeeming factor during that illusionary phase of

my life was the fact that I could still play billiards with utmost

concentration. The moment I put my palm on the table, these dis-

tractions miraculously disappeared.

However, off the table, I was no longer enjoying myself. My


18/32

2. TEMPTATIONS FROM APSARAS SUCCESS VS JOY

34 35

life had become an intricate web of distractions with me rmly

trapped in the middle. These self-destructive distractions ranged

from wanting to build a house, to wanting to establish a busi-

ness, to wanting to make money, and so many other new desires.

Everyone around me talked about my success, nobody about

my enthusiasm for the game. Briey, I forgot about the joy I had

experienced from the sport. Once again, I went through a phase

of intense soul-searching and redened my priorities. Soon

enough, the answers started to reappear before me. I turned to

the core within myself and again awakened to the joys of living

for the moment. To me this is the only way to be.

. T A

Discipline of the mind is the key to joy. However, distraction

compromises disciplineand lifes distractions are myriad. This

is a truth as old as humanity, and all civilizations have their par-

ables of temptation.

There is a famous mythological story about Saint

Vishwamitra, who was always in deep meditation. Lord Indra,

in order to test how steadfast he was, sent the beautiful heavenly

nymph, or apsara, Menaka, to disturb him. The story goes that

Menaka was successful in distracting Vishwamitra from his aus-

terities for a period of three years.If you allow yourself to be distracted, there is every reason

to believe that your performance will suffer. Just as Vishwamitra

allowed himself to be seduced by Menaka, there are distractions

galorealcohol, clothes, parties, money, sex, sycophants, travel,

or even a jobthat take ones mind away from what it is trying

to do.

How should one guard against these temptations of

succumbing to our own apsaras? How does one achieve mastery

over oneself?

My ultimate answer lies in what, for lack of a better single

word, I call obsession. One must have a burning desire to pursue

the truth and not deviate from ones chosen path. One must pos-

sess a positive attitude that does not dissipate ones intellectual

and spiritual energy. For me, this happened when I became ad-

dicted to the joy I derived from the rst ball I hit. All other de-

sires paled in comparison.

Yet how do you shelter this re, once youve kindled it, from

the apsarasthat might quench it? If you are listening and learn-

ing, the passing years bring skill in controlling your mind. At the

same time, they bring new challenges and burdens. They com-

prise illusionary successthe nemesis of joy.

. S S C

Society has its own denitions of success, bruited in the media

and received, rather than discovered. In that sense, success is a

very social concept. Therefore, like any fad or fashion, success

is not an absolute truth. If there were no society, there would be

no external yardstick to measure who is successful and who is

not.

The meaning of success, as generally understood by societytoday, is the accumulation of status, fame, money, and power.

Yet, when you take success apart, item by item, you discover

that none of these things is anywhere near as good as they are

purported to be. When you put them together after analyzing

them separately, you see that their sum is toxic.

For me, success is a job well done. Success is not about achiev-

ing fame, accumulating money, or having power and inuence in


19/32


20/32

5. HANDLING FAME SUCCESS VS JOY

38 39

If I did not have a single impurity in my mind, I would per-

haps be able to make a break of 5,000, as against my current

world record of 1,276. Of course, my world is not hermetically

sealed.

A college student once quizzed me on how it felt to be fa-

mous. I replied, I experience the same emotions and feelings

that you do. I experience emotions of jealousy, greed, anger, and

calmness just like you. Fame is media-created; and, as I have no

control over it, I dont pay too much attention to it. I derive true

joy from the activity that I pursue and not the medias attention.

And I know that the medias attention is focused on me because

of the excellence I have achieved in my discipline. So the impor-

tant thing for me is continuing to pursue excellence and joy in

my sport.

Solitude, for me, has become a state of bliss. At times, I actu-ally feel Im one with the universe. The foundation of my charac-

ter has become very deep and strong. I have faith in my abilities

and in myself.

I am not particularly fond of attending marriages, anniversa-

ries, or other celebratory functions. Even when I do attend such

social occasions, I tend to keep to myself.

While my behavior is instinctive, Ive realized that its con-

sistent with the pursuit of joy. An extrovert likes talking to many

people about many topics. Such a persons mind is more likely to

be cluttered than that of an introvert. While other people might

successfully strike other balances, my own quiet nature has

helped me to withstand the pressures of fame. It has helped me

to nd, and protect, inner peace.

There are some who work but remain unsung. Their bench-

marks of excellence are not splashed across newspapers; their

pictures do not appear on television screens. Be that as it may,

they are achievers all the same if they are doing what gives them

joy. Fame in itself does not bring you joy; it only brings distrac-

tions. I believe the ultimate experience is the joy of making a full

effort in reaching out to the core within.

. I W R D T K

We live in an age where information production is exponentiat-

ing. But the more that communications links saturate our lives,

the more some people begin to mistake data for understand-

ing. Think about how much time you spend on absorbing the

thoughts of others. There are news, commentary, social media,

television, radio, poetry, novels, historical and reference works

even this book.

Possession, and demonstrated mastery, of acquired thoughts

is a mark of societys success. They are taken as signs of lit-

eracy, intelligence, and power. Objectively, however, they are not

good proxies for understanding.

A wise person can direct you toward the path of enlighten-

ment and help you understand the wisdom of the Almighty. This

is a noble accomplishment, for both the wise person and yourself

as his student. But joy itself can come only from what you actual-

ly do. Truth, in regard to living, must be lived. To learn, therefore,

you must act.

Secondhand truth is thin gruel in comparison. The kind ofentertainment that a medium such as television provides is ex-

ternal in nature. It cannot be compared to the joy one gets from

actions that you make happen yourself. As my son was growing

up, I often told him, Do not be a passive person receiving too

much entertainment through TV. Try and see less TV, and instead

do something that will provide entertainment through your own

efforts instead of merely receiving it.


21/32

7. COPING WITH PRESSURE: ELIMINATE IF SUCCESS VS JOY

40 41

In the Information Age, there are many compulsive seekers

of information. Of course, there are some who have to gather

information continuously to effectively fulll their professional

responsibilities. But for others, access to information is a source

of power and a certain social currency. The problem is that their

bank balance of information and regurgitated opinion may just

provide them status, and not necessarily knowledge or wisdom.

The reaction of his peers may make such a person feel proud of

himself. But pride is not joy.

Avoiding this pitfall can have its side effects. I often get a

feeling that my light conversation skills are limited. I am not

well acquainted with all that is considered newsworthy. I do not

avidly pore over all the pages of a newspaper. At social gather-

ings, I often nd myself just listening to what others have to say.

However, I dont feel inadequate. I am not dened, either to oth-ers or myself, by my bank of knowledge. I am dened by what I

do.

. C P: E I

It is critical to learn to play under pressure. You feel the pres-

sure because your thoughts have moved ahead. The word if

is on your mind. You think, if I get this, then Im going to win.

Alternatively, what if he gets it and I dont?If is the most dangerous word in my dictionary. I have very

consciously learned to keep it out of my life. It dissipates my en-

ergy, drains me emotionally, and transports me to a forgotten

past or an uncertain future.

Thoughts of if cloud your reasoning. If creates a cer-

tain pressure within you. This pressure snowballs into fear and

anxiety.

This, in turn, hampers your ability to concentrate on the pres-

ent. All your well-honed playing techniques will fail miserably

simply because your mind is no longer in control of your body.

Your intellect is not supervising your body or your brain, because

it is chasing after the endless permutations of if.

If is not just a menace to your focus in individual tasks. It

erodes your peace of mind when you dwell on if across the

broad arc of your life. People tend to repeatedly question the

roles they are playing. One could ask, Was I born to be a lawyer?

Would it have been better if I had taken up journalism instead?

In my opinion, to dwell upon such hypothetical and speculative

questions is a complete waste. Think about it: Can you unwind

your life to that early stage, and live it again? No. Because that

fork in the road is irrevocably behind you, does it serve any pur-

pose to think of it? No. Once your mind takes ight into the pastor future, it cannot remain in the present. Your energy and time

are better spent on your challenges in the present.

The best way of relieving this kind of pressure is to tell your-

self that at the end of the day, you have to justify your actions

only to yourself.

What if you do lose? Having lost many times myself, I can

tell you this: A loss does not mean the end of the world is nigh. In

the long run nobody else cares. Just have the discipline and the

commitment to give your best as often as you can. What matters

most is your enthusiasm for the game and not the outcome. The

results of the game matter far less than theprocess of learning. Play

for the sake of playing and you will feel the pressure evaporate.

. D B F--F

A


22/32

9. VISUALIZATION SUCCESS VS JOY

42 43

While the deeper questions of if can aggravate it, there is a

certain basic level of anxiety before major life-tests that cant be

eliminated. Im speaking about the adrenaline surge, familiar to

everyone, thats built into our bodies to cope with the ancient

tests of physical combat, and that survives into our age where

civilization poses more subtle challenges.

Anxiety before a match is a human experience that cannot

be eliminated. I believe that it is good for the system, in that it

subconsciously strengthens the mind to focus on the job at hand.

I just accept anxiety as part of the whole process of playing a

match, without allowing it to take over my whole being. And I

nd that as I play the rst few strokes, my concentration is so

intense I soon forget about the anxiety and every other emotion

that serves to distract me from my game.

There are many good players who indulge in a quick swigof alcohol to soothe frayed nerves before or during matches.

Famously, there are athletes throughout the world, in every

sport, who resort to stronger illegal drugs to do the same thing.

Regardless of the substance, this is lethal. Even though it may

control nerves initially, in the long run it destroys the mind. In

fact, the prolonged use of alcohol, quite apart from any other

physiological implications, goes on to deaden the brain cells. Of

course, the psychological and physical dependence fostered by

drugs and alcohol are tremendous sources of vulnerability and

confusion.

. V

A very experienced person once taught me visualization.

He said, The night before an important game, visualize

yourself making the strokes you want to. Try and live through

the experience that is going to take place in as exact a manner

as possible. Dont visualize holding up the trophy, instead try to

recreate your strokes and the control with which you strike the

balls.

Most people visualize what might happen in their lives along

negative lines. Instead of visualizing themselves playing well

and enjoying themselves, they think about missing shots and the

consequences that could follow. The mind needs one-hundredth

of a second to lose its focus and concentration.

So, force yourself to visualize only in terms of executing the

perfect stroke. If you do this for ten minutes before going to sleep,

it will work wonders for you. It reinforces your subconscious to

enjoy yourself while you play the next day. And with the focus

of joy, your outcome will be far better.

. K P W P

One of my friends is a serious golfer. His stated goal is to become

a scratch playeressentially, to play at a professional level. He

knows and realizes the effort that he must make to arrive at his

goal. He agrees that in order to further strengthen his game he

needs to hit 500 balls a day, all alone, and not step on the course

for now.

He wants to, but will not.When I rst saw him hit this barrier, I asked myself, Why?

Was it lethargy? Lack of courage? Fear of failure? The insecurity

of losing self-esteem?

I eventually asked my friend what was preventing him from

getting to scratch, and he confessed, I need to practice alone at

least one hour every day and I dont get the time. Sometimes I

come to the course straight from a party where Ive been drinking


23/32

11. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS COMPETITION SUCCESS VS JOY

44 45

the whole night. I want to improve, but there are so many social

engagements and other things that I just dont get enough time

to practice.

Here was a 38-year-old who has the talent and interest to im-

prove. But, did he want that scratch handicap so badly that he

was prepared to withdraw from social interactions and the tem-

porary high of a quick drink? He was looking to me for some

advice.

I found myself remembering, of all things, the character

Morpheus from the lm, The Matrix. He said, Theres a differ-

ence between knowing the path, and walking the path. My

friend already knew the answer to his question. The real ques-

tion was, was he willing to walk the path?

I told my friend to forget society, friends, and parties. Give

yourself two years. Just focus on the game. If you still dont reachscratch, then go back to your heady life.

The desire to reach the all-encompassing level of involve-

ment where one benets from constant moments of joy needs to

be so strong that everything gets thrown into the background.

Concentration is built through lifestyle and not through any

formula or mantra. A person who leads a simple uncluttered life-

style and focuses only on the activity of his interest and his fam-

ily will, in the long run, develop far more concentration than, say,

someone who parties every night and who is tempted by food,

lms, materialism, and any other distraction that may catch his

fancy.

. T N S T C

Some of us become programmed to think that winning is all-im-

portant. As Vince Lombardi said: Winning isnt everything; its

the only thing. Billy Shankly, a very successful manager of the

English soccer team, Liverpool, had his own version Football

isnt life or death. Its much more important than that.

I disagree.

For a performer there is no competitor. In the book of suc-

cess there is, but not in the book of excellence. Competition exists

only in your mind. Talent and practice can hone your skill, but

the discovery of excellence will come from the discovery of the

self. So you have to forget the opponent and delve deep within to

master your own frailties and insecurities.

In an individual sport such as golf or billiards, it is easier to

relate to this, but even in team sport one has to look within. In

cricket, Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid are two athletes who

exemplied this introspection. I never heard either talk about

their opponents. Of course they faced exceptional, solid, and or-dinary bowlers, but they didnt care who the bowlers were. For

them, the bat was in their hands alone, and what they did with

the ball depended only on them.

There are some who develop a contrived hatred for their op-

ponents, believing this will enhance their performance. They

are merely fooling themselves. The whole game is about nding

harmony and that elusive alignment of body, mind, and soul.

This alignment cannot be discovered with a road map of hate. It

can only be found with peace within and peace with the world

outside.

There are certain athletes who hype themselves up with ges-

tures, punching the air with sts and other such gesticulations,

which they think will induce a rush of adrenaline. This may

prove to be benecial in highly physical and contact sports such

as rugby and wrestling, but in most sports I nd that this be-

comes a distraction rather than a means to help you focus.

Instead of being hyped up, it is imperative to remain calm,


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12. PLAYING TO EXPECTATIONS SUCCESS VS JOY

46 47

on an emotionally even keel. For that, you need to focus on your

breathing and be zoned-in on the present.

. P E

After a match, there would always be someone who would ask

me how I missed a simple, straightforward shot. My answer to

this question has been, Please appreciate the fact that Im hu-

man. I pursue perfection, but I realize that I will never be perfect.

There is always something more to learn, there is always some

incident or thought that creeps in and dislodges my concentra-

tion. I then counter, Why dont you ask me about the 600 shots

I got right before I goofed up on one?

You must realize one thing: however good you get, you will

never be perfect. Also, you can never control the expectations of

others. That is why its so crucial to disregard these external ex-

pectations; and, just as important, to keep yourself completely

unfettered by your own expectations.

Continuously striving to raise benchmarks does not guaran-

tee that you will not falter. That is why I strongly believe I should

not play in order to live up to someone elses expectations of me.

I would go crazy if I did.

Spectators and fans have exceedingly high expectations of

their favorite players. Consider the way in which the perfor-mance of the Indian cricket team arouses such intense passion.

Cricket has become a vast entertainment industry. Yet there are a

few players who are mature enough to be able to maintain their

composure in tense situations.

The god of cricket, Sachin Tendulkar, may not have per-

formed well in each and every match he playedbut that is not

because he was trying to live up to the expectations of a billion

spectators, and was weighed down by their collective expecta-

tion. It was because he was human and understood his humanity

all too well. His record will not be beaten for a long time and his

feats with the bat will always be remembered, but he would not

succumb to a billion people imploring him to bear their burden.

I consider Sachin to be a great athlete, not just because of his

skills, but also for his ability to withstand the pressure of a billion

expectations. When you looked at Sachin, you saw calmness and

serenity on his face. Where did this serenity come from? Did it

come from the knowledge that many millions have great expec-

tations of him? If Sachin started worrying about what his fans

expected every time he walked out to the crease, he would not

have displayed the level of equanimity he did. Nor would he

have performed as brilliantly and as consistently as he did for a

quarter-century.Take Kapil Dev and Sunil Gavaskar, both legendary cricket-

ers. All the records they have created did not affect them. If they

had succumbed to what others expected of them, I very much

doubt they would have been able to play the kind of cricket they

did for more than ve years or so. To have the ability to disre -

gard the expectations of othersshrug them off, if you likeone

has to rst remove all expectations from ones own mind.

. R A F Y J

When some people achieve what they originally set out to do,

their passion begins to diminish. They nd their energies dis -

sipated because they have to tackle many other issues. For in-

stance, a senior executive may be asked to follow up on actions

and implement already approved programs, whereas his true

joy comes from planning. Or a managing editor in a newspaper


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13. RISING AWAY FROM YOUR JOY SUCCESS VS JOY

48 49

is unhappy that she is spending all her time in administration

and managing people instead of writingthe activity she enjoys

most. Both these people are pushed to lose focus on what gives

them the greatest satisfaction. In the long run, theyre headed for

a burnout.

I have compared notes with many people over 40 who havebeen at the pinnacle of their professions, and many have con-

fessed they were not exactly enjoying what they were doing. In

fact, some of them were quite miserable.

A very bright man who became a CEO never really enjoyed

his work. An important aspect of his job was to listen to what oth-

er people in his organization were saying and also to look at their

presentations. He soon realized that his actions could inuence

the working of his organization only in a minor way. Eventually,

he was forced to leave his job. In fact, he was delighted to leave.He realized that he could do so much elsewhere and no more in

his company because of forces beyond his control.

Despite his creditable academic record, I knew he was just

not cut out for corporate life. Despite being an extremely good

human being he was rather confused about what he wished to

do. He simply couldnt identify what would give him maxi-

mum satisfaction. He had studied in the best educational insti-

tutions and turned out to be skilled in whatever he did. He rose

in his organization and then started rapidly losing interest in his

work. He didnt enjoy working in the company environment but

couldnt nd an alternative.

All these people were dissatised despite the external trap-

pings of success, because they believed they were not involved

in the activity which was their core competency or which they

enjoyed the most. They felt guilty that they were not being true

to themselves.

To understand why these things happen, we must ask what

makes them happen.

. G H

Society tends to romanticize hierarchy in organizations rather

than the satisfaction that people derive from their work. It re-

wards conformance, decade upon decade, programming the

whole trajectory of peoples lives. We need to pass school, sit for

exams, take up full-time jobs, get married, and raise children.

Somewhere in between we lose touch with what we are really

passionate aboutif we ever have the chance to discover it.

Once were embedded in the working world, complete with

adult commitments, all too often we nd that our immediate en-

vironment connes. That is why our benchmarks get pegged at

rather low levels. They are usually based on standards that have

already been set by others, for reasons that have little to do with

our own needs.

If we succeed in navigating the hierarchy, the massive invest-

ment weve made in that process forges a pair of golden hand-

cuffs to our achievement. At great cost, weve won a good salary,

solid benets, status, and the respect of our peers. What weve

invested in the effort is matched by the material cost to ourselves

and our families if we were to drop these rewards and try some-thing different. So, were successful. And were miserable.

Heres an example of a woodcutter. How does he experience

joy? It would be when he hits his sweet spotthat is the moment

when his axe hits the trunk of the tree at the exact angle with the

right strength. The way the woodcutter breathes, his physique,

and the way his body is aligned have all got to come together in

one perfect, synchronized, effortless motion. He does not have to


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15. CHARACTER FLAWS CREEP IN SUCCESS VS JOY

50 51

worry about the movement of his arm or his wrist. He is focused

on the point of contact.

Think for a moment what the same woodcutter would do

if you were to offer him ve times what he is earning to do a

completely different job for the rest of his lifeperhaps laying

bricks. He may take up your offer and be tempted by the en-hanced lifestyle. Indeed, he may even end up becoming a pro-

cient bricklayer.

If, however, his heart and his soul were not in his new job, he

would not be able to hit the sweet spot again and again. Ask the

woodcutter who reluctantly became a bricklayer: Would you

like to be successful on our terms and conditions, or would you

like to experience joy on your terms?

His answer should be obvious. But all too often, the inciden-

tal baubles of successmoney, power over others, statusstrait-jacket people like the woodcutter. The terrible part is that its

a straitjacket that the woodcutter chooses to wear. Once again,

knowing the path is not the same as walking the path.

The solution is to continue learning and practicing with the

faith that you will eventually come across something that will re-

new your purpose. I have seen this happen again and again, in

sport and in life. The real I, me, mine is independent of any-

bodys expectationsbe they of parents, partner, children, col-

leagues, or friends. In the long run, you cannot live your life ac-

cording to the expectations of others. Courage is in doing what

you believe is right. And by living your own life with healthy

purpose, you will be able to serve those you love with far more

energy, and far less strife, than you did before.

. C F C I

At times Ive lost touch with reality. It is like those company

bosses who fall victim to complacency and forget where they

were when they embarked on their career. A CEO might forget

the time he worked as a door-to-door salesman twenty years

ago. The mind is indeed a source of wonder. We remember what

we choose to remember. Corruption of the mind happens insidi-ously. Assume you have a perfect grip while playing billiards.

Instead of all your ngers touching the butt of the cue, one day

you may suddenly discover that one nger is touching the cue a

little lighter than it should. You may subsequently reach a stage

when you are playing with one particular nger not resting on

the cue at all. This is how a fault can slowly creep into a play-

ers technique. You may start believing your technique is correct

when actually it is not; the bad technique became second nature

to you because you allowed it to creep in.The short point: watch it. Do not let character aws creep in-

sidiously into your life. You may nd that they are there to stay.

. L C

Im not scared of challenges; in fact, I welcome them. Whenever

I have time to sit down and relax, I keep asking myself what is

the meaning of my life and other such philosophical questions. I

might not have any real answers, at least at the beginning. But Iknow one thing for surewhatever it is, I want to go for it and

grow. The day we think we know it all, we might as well be dead

and gone.

You must possess the ability and wherewithal to criticize

yourself. Only then will you be able to learn from your mistakes

and not repeat them. Accepting the truth about yourself will


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16. LIFE IS A CHALLENGE SUCCESS VS JOY

52 53

compel you to nd out who you are and come to terms with your

frailties.

It is very easy not to accept ones own faults. We are invari-

ably biased towards ourselves and nd it tough to acknowledge

our faults and limitations. The rst step is to recognize the fact

that you are not perfect, but a human being with limitations.Only those with strength of character are able to listen to their

conscience, their inner voice, and then act accordingly. I dene

character as the courage of conviction to be your own self.

I have learned to accept what others say about me with an

open mind. Not everyone who is critical of you is necessarily

your opponent. Many are critical because they want you to re-

move your shortcomings. And we would not be able to improve

ourselves if we were not able to recognize our limitations.

Lets say youre addressing a thousand-strong audience on asubject dear to your heart. Slowly you see 999 people walk away,

with just a solitary man left sitting and listening to you. Most

people would be dejected and depressed. But that is because

there is no mental equilibrium. Anger, depression, and agitation

are manifestations of the ego. A trained mind will nish and en -

joy the oration with that audience of one.

If I were the speaker, I then would go back home and do some

serious introspection on why 999 people walked away. Thats a

moment of truth. Rather than become agitated, I would accept

that perhaps I was adding little value. I would then do some-

thing constructive about it, even if it took months or years of labor.

Take it from an introvert who now does motivational speaking

throughout Indiathis works.

If you are a celebrity, the public may treat you as someone

special. You are not; no one is. Even if youre successful

especiallyif youre successfulits crucial that you encourage,

and accept, honesty from those closest to you. The day your own

spouse starts believing and treating you differently because of

your achievements, will be the day when you will come to your

professional end. Because then you may actually start believing

that you are special.

If you keep challenging yourself, within and without, your

life will remain a source of joy.

. T C T D

There are those who cannot stomach defeat; they get demoral-

ized easily. Theres a wonderful kid from Ahmedabad who took

to billiards after he saw me play. He was so obsessed with the

sport that he dropped out of school when he was in the tenth

grade so that he could concentrate on improving his game. He

fell madly in love with the game and would spend ten hours a

day working on his technique. There was a time when I got high-

ly inspired just watching the intensity of his spirit. This kid was a

natural and picked up the nuances of the game quickly. Everyone

predicted he was destined to become a world champion. But he

had an attitudinal problem. He just could not cope with the fact

that he could lose.

He had been placed on a pedestal, not only by his friends,

but also by his family. When those close to you start believing

that you are special, you start thinking that you are the ChosenOne. That is mental suicide. This happened in his case, and

he just collapsed under the weight of his own and his familys

expectations. In his very rst year on the professional snooker

circuit, he reached a creditable 160th in the ofcial world rank-

ings. His second year turned out to be disastrous. He lost his rst

match. And when he fell at that rst hurdle, his dreams and ex-

pectations were shattered and he gave up playing.


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18. THE CHALLENGE OF TRANSCENDING PAIN SUCCESS VS JOY

54 55

To persevere, you must focus your mind on the gamenot

the results. It is ne to be ambitious. But the nobility is in the

playing.

If you want social status through a game, or any other life en-

deavor, you will certainly be disappointed. The world does not

really care whether you lose or win.There is liberation in that truth: The world does not care if you

lose. You play, you work, you grow for yourself. If you stumble,

it does not matter. If you fall entirely and plow your face into the

dirt, so what? Youve just learned how to keep standing up.

You live for yourself and the joy that life gives you. Nothing

else.

. T C T PIn 2004, I started to explore Vipassana, as a way to purge my

mind of clutter and rediscover the joy of living in the moment.

Vipassana is a very effective meditation technique, which was

created by Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha) some 2400 years

ago. It is a time to go inward, to rediscover the joy of the connect

with the self, and to reinforce the worthlessness of petty anxiet-

ies, insecurities, and feelings of envy. These realizations are the

stuff of enlightenment.

The rst course involved remaining silent for eleven days.This included no visual or physical contact with anybody.

On the third day we were asked to sit in one posture for one

hour without moving our limbs. Whichever posture was cho-

sen, there was an intense pain in many parts of the body after

35 minutes. The last 10 minutes of the hour were particularly

excruciating.

The rst time I tried this, I found that there was an intense

pain in the left part of my head and my intellect was trying to ig-

nore the pain. My mind attempted many tricks to divert itself and

not feel the pain, but after 50 minutes it gave up and succumbed

completely. I did not move my body or uncross my limbs, but my

head drooped as I suffered the last 10 minutes with pain the only

sensation in my entire being.

. M C: M

E

That evening S.N. Goenka, who conducts these courses through

audio and video discourses, told us about mental equilibrium.

That, he said, is the one trait that enables us to maintain our

cool. When we are angry or ecstatic, we tend to lose our mental

equilibrium.

Mental equilibrium allows us to dispassionately view the

events around and within us. Goenka asked us not to become

paranoid about the pain. He inspired us to believe that all events

are temporary and that this pain is also temporary. He asked us

to focus on the pain. We were to just observe it and be detached

from it. And, most important, we were to let our mind be in con-

trol of the pain.

It was sound advice and the second time I sat for the

athistansitting without movingI managed it effortlessly. I satcontinuously for an hour and 20 minutes. The pain was acute,

but my mind was sharp and was viewing it dispassionately.

After one hour, the pain almost disappeared. Mental equilibrium

had allowed me to be dispassionate to the intense pain.

This lesson, learned under controlled circumstances, has

much bigger implications for how we approach the rough-and-

tumble of life. I believe the one quality that we need at a crucial


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20. SIMPLIFY SUCCESS VS JOY

56 57

point of a match is this mental equilibrium. We cannot allow the

event to dominate our mind. We must be dispassionate.

. S

Genuinely successful people understand the meaning of disci-

pline and of total commitment to a single cause. This discipline,

by denition, necessitates a simplied lifestyle. This is the key to

improving concentration.

You can get an idea of the power of simplied life by seeing

what happens when you simplify radically. The badminton All

England champion, Prakash Padukone, once told me that for six

years he did not watch a single movie while he was undergoing

a rigorous training regime. He would wake up at 5:30 a.m., go for

a 10-kilometer run, return home for breakfast, exercise, and then

play two-and-a-half hours of badminton, come back at noon and

sleep for two hours. He would then wake up at 2:30 in the after-

noon, exercise till 3:00, play badminton between 4:00 and 7:00, do

some cooling-down exercises, return home at 7:30, have his din-

ner and go to bed by 8:30. He maintained this incredibly disci-

plined lifestyle for six years without a break, seven days a week!

The world sees him as an individual who has made many

sacrices. Ask him and he would insist there was no sacrice at

the timeonly joy! There is joy in any activity that leads to per-sonal growth and excellence. The process of growth and learning

is the basis of joy. Where there is joy, there is no sacrice.

. H F

Ive been speaking of the pleasure that I nd in solitude, and

the great importance that I place upon removing all outside

considerations from my mind when I act. Yet it is not a para-

dox that all of this rests on the love and support of my family.

What you can achieve alone, you achieve much more easily with

help. When you work to sustain joy in the teeth of all the worlds

apsaras, your family ghts at your side.

Your relationship with your family is something you buildand maintain. It, too, can benet from the principles that you ap-

ply to your own quest for joy. Concentration, consistency, and

humility are crucial in your relationship with your family. So,

too, is a zest to learn and grow.

Consider concentration. I like to pay full attention to what I

am doing at any given moment. There are bound to be interrup-

tions; the telephone will ring and so on. But if I am going to give

my best, I must try to not allow others to distract me. If my wife,

Kiran, calls while I am in a meeting, I simply tell her that I willcall her back. If I start talking to her, I would be rude and unfair

to both her and those present at the meeting, because my concen-

tration would be interrupted. I would be absent to everyone.

While I was playing in the Sydney World Championship in

2002, I received a telephone call from my wife that my father

had been admitted to the intensive care unit (ICU) and had been

placed on a respirator. I asked my wife whether I should return

to India immediately, but she told me I should continue to play in

the tournament and come back only after the event was over. By

my yardsticks, I played brilliantly during the tournament eventhough I eventually lost in the nal to Mike Russell. I was able to

concentrate on my game despite the unexpected and unwelcome

news about my father. I then returned and was able to concen-

trate fully on my father.

The role of your family in keeping you calm is crucial. I have

been married to Kiran for a quarter-century now, and her sup-

port and faith have been immeasurable. Before a tournament she

success vs joy

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