TAFT YESTERDAY Issue 7April 1, 2016

Volume 26

Taft considers Cannabis Page 6

Going Into the Wild Page 3

Horray for Chipotle!Page 2

Vidas defeats the G.O.A.T.Page 11

Killer takes a shot at POTUSPage 9

In this issue...

~Taft Today Editors~

Rozan Deeb Marcello Piccinini Hannah Gonzalez Gabriela Krochmal

Entertainment Columns SportsFeaturesNews

Adviser Patrick T. Levins

Samantha Muslovski

The Taft administration and Chicago Public Schools (CPS) have come to an agreement to cancel this year’s Spring Breakin light of criticism for the inadequate educa-tion of its students.

This decision has been pushed by the ad-ministration and CPS officials. Opposition from teachers and the student council was clearly voiced, but quickly dismissed “for the sake of the greater good.”

Principal Mark Grishaber said, “Taft has made some changes in the past two years al-ready, becoming a number one ranked school; and I want to thank you all for that. Nonethe-less, we must never forget that education is a crucial and competitive field and we must al-ways strive for greatness. The time off we usu-ally have during spring can be used in a more productive manner to benefit our students, teachers, and the school.”

According to brookings.edu things like strikes and subsequent days we had off in the recent years have negatively impacted the students’ learning and amount of education they received.

This move to cancel spring break and fo-cus on bringing kids to school instead is an attempt to make up these losses and “redis-tribute a sense of urgency to education and attendance.”

Krystian Popko (Div. 634) said, “I think part of the decision stemmed from the warm-weathered winter we had this year. We didn’t have to deal with the extreme colds we usually have to tackle here in Chicago over the winter, and had many days of warm tem-perature and sunny weather. Kids have plenty

Urgent News: Spring Break cancelled for all Chicago Public Schools!By Michal Kobialka

of time to take joy from this order of events, so I think that Spring Break is really not neces-sary this year. Just enjoy it while you can. Take in a deep breath of fresh air while walking into school at 7: 30 a.m. on a glorious spring day, and thank Mr. Grishaber for giving you an op-portunity to attend this wonderful school.”

Despite the short notice, students are re-quired to comply with the new days of atten-dance. In addition, absence notes containing excuses will also cease to be accepted by the attendance office during this week. The ad-ministration wants to make it clear that stu-dents cannot take this change of events as a joke and will be pushing teachers to assign a maximum amount of missing assignments and zeros to those who choose to ignore the new Taft Policy and not attend school during these days, April 18 - 22.

Grishaber has one last message to all students, “School will start at 7:30 a.m. and will continue until 7:30 p.m every day of spring break. In the English classes, I would like all students to study the first 730 lines of Hamlet. In Math classes, I would like all teachers to teach our students the various ways a mathe-matical answer can be 730. Example: 10 X 73 + 11 -12 +1. In the Individual and Societies Classes, I would like all students to under-stand how the global community came togeth-er in the year 730 BC and compare that to our society in 730 AD. In the Physical Education classes,everyone will be completing 730 push ups and sit ups everyday. Thank you! Go Ea-gles, and remember, school will start at 7:30 a.m. guys!”

Artwork by Rose Satola

A student in class daydreaming of what he would have been doing in spring break.

As the world continues to evolve and utilize technol-ogy in everyday life, Taft has also opted to move into the digital age. Starting next school year, each Taft student will receive their own personal laptop.

According to cps.edu the three furlough days sched-uled throughout the year will save Chicago Public Schools (CPS) a total of 30 million dollars. As a result, Taft’s budget has increased a significant amount.

Due to all this extra money coming from teacher’s paychecks, Taft will purchase each student an Asus lap-top with an Intel i7 processor and a terabyte worth of memory in its hard drive. According to computerworld.com the Intel i7 processor is the fastest model of proces-sor Intel offers. Each laptop is on sale for $586.99. “I think the laptop would help with school work...and Netflix, but PCs are just a better breed of technology in my opinion. They’re much more powerful and run faster!” said Joe Black, Div. 633.

According to cpshatesteachers.org the money was originally supposed to go to funding the schools and com-pensating teachers. Instead CPS opted to grant schools a significantly larger budget.

“Starting in 2016-2017 every student entering as a

By Luis Gutierrez Taft tech undergoes upgrade using teacher’s paycheck

Freshman will be given an Apple iPhone 10, not yet avail-able to the general public, as a welcoming gift for choosing Taft over Lane Tech ” said Principal Mark Grishaber.

According to thejournal.com 75% of high school stu-dents who own laptops use them for educational purposes. However, only half of high school students have the luxury of owning a laptop, and even less own a desktop at home. Due to Taft’s generosity, every student will have a laptop to make their education easier and more accessible.

“I’m thrilled. I used to have to go to the library to type out a paper and now I can do it from the comfort of my home. Also this way we can watch Netflix on bigger screens and save our phone battery during class,” said Arthur Pe-cak, Div. 719

At the end of the year, each laptop must be returned to the school, where they will be refurbished and redistributed the next year. If a student breaks a laptop beyond repair, the student is responsible for paying to replace the laptop.

Taft has never been gifted the most money to spend by CPS. However, our school is getting some much-need-ed upgrades and it will undoubtedly aid students in numer-ous aspects of their education!

Artwork by Rose Satola

Harmony Gonzalez

Super Reporter

Harmony GonzalezGabriela KrochmalMarcello PiccininiRozan Deeb

Irrelevent NewsFollowing an extensive period of uncertainty, the Chicago Teachers Union (CTU)

and Chicago Public Schools (CPS) have finally agreed to a contract extension that fig-ures to stand until 2020.

According to bettergov.org in their prior contract offer, CPS had offered a 2.75% pay raise to teacher. Unfortunately, they also threatened to revoke the previously offered 7% pension pickup and attempted to force several union members to retire in exchange for a 12 thousand dollar bonus. Such an action would leave schools shorthanded and enrage teachers. The contract was rejected, leading to more tension between the CTU and CPS.

“I always knew CPS would come through with a deal. They always try lowballing us at first, but they have never failed us teachers! Not once!” Said Physics Teacher Erin Millen.

This new contract, signed on March 21, is substantially more teacher-friendly. Effec-tive next year, teachers are now required to have a minimum of 100 students in each class, allowing teachers to get to know more students and shorten the school day, result-ing in a plus for both teachers and students.

“I’m ecstatic about the changes to class size. I’ll have even more of my friends in the class to hold discussions with!” Said Jose Valerio, Div. 617.

In addition, the contract also extended the school year through the end of June.

Teachers will not be paid for these extra days as they are furlough days. Rather than pay the teachers’ salary, CPS instead opted to send the union representative for each school on an annual all-expense paid trip to Puerto Vallarta, including booking a five star resort.

Topping off the list of benefits, teachers will receive a 1.2% pay raise, “I genuinely wasn’t sure how much of a pay raise we’d be getting, if anything at all.

I’m stoked that we got 1.2%. That’s big money,” said Millen.After a long struggle, CTU has finally managed to pull a stellar contract out of CPS. It

is a mutually beneficial contract, and seeing as it will last for the next four years, relations between CPS and CTU will heal.

“Teachers put in hard work, and it is a shame that a contract could not be agreed upon sooner. It is fantastic to see teachers be rewarded for their hard work in shaping the future of our nation! They are definitely worthy of such a great deal,” said Valerio.

By Luis Gutierrez

CPS & Union make it official

An overcrowded classroom following the CPS and CTU’s new contract.Artwork by Brandon Kennedy

After many partnership fundraising events throughout the years, Chipotle food will now be sold in Taft’s cafeteria. Due to Taft’s International Food Club’s persistence and high student activity for fundraisers, a shorter version of the menu will now be ready to purchase everyday as of May 13.

“I’m a huge supporter of Mexican food but is it fair? When will we see Egyptian or Irish food represented. I may have to con-tact my lawyer!” Said Matthew Moore, Div. 624.

Chipotle is a Mexican Grill, which was once invested by McDonalds is known for their burritos and burrito bowls. The satis-faction of a carnitas burrito with a mere 1630 calories can be yours at Taft daily for $6.00 instead of $6.50!

Along with the price change, the pro-nunciation will also be changed to Chipol-te, so Principal Mark Grishaber can pro-nounce it.

“I think we were all very excited when we found out that all our hard work and efforts had paid off. It was something no one had really known about and we made sure it would stay that way until everything had worked itself out,” said Math Teacher Justin Yesen-sky.

Burritosbonanza.com re-ports that Chipotle is of the

Hooray for Chipotle! By Mia Sorci

better fast food options because it boosts brain power while also tasting delicious. The chain comes with many benefits due to the fact that eating Chipotle can actually fight off heart disease and numerous other health conditions.

“I’m really happy to hear that we’re get-ting a mini Chipotle. While it may not be real Mexican food, there’s no denying that it is good. Maybe now people will appreciate the food,” said Victoria Crespo, Div. 627.

Nothing can stop Chipotle, not even E. Coli. The bacterial disease boosted busi-ness by offering free burritos at the time of the outbreak.

“Chipotle is like my life. I don’t know what I’d do without it, it’s become a part of me,” said Justyna Fraczek, Div. 625.

Re-heated pizza is a thing of the past when fresh burritos will be made right in front of your very eyes. Keep in mind, the guac is extra!

Photo by Harmony Gonzalez

By Mia SorciOn March 29, Chicago Public Schools (CPS) came face to face with a technical

difficulty. The Wi-Fi Server shared by everyone in the district has been hacked by an un-known source and many are at risk.

Unexpected issues have popped up leaving many of the servers crashed and many others with viruses. This issue is still not resolved and all CPS schools have been running slow these past couple of weeks.

“I was really worried when I found out about this, not only for myself, but for all the teachers involved as well because now all their lesson plans are gone. What also angers me is that all my PowerPoint presentations and English essays are gone from my CPS email, and now I won’t be able to present alone in front of my entire class! Why someone would want to hack into a school’s Wi-Fi is beyond me,” said Alexis Anderson, Div. 627.

The hack was not seen coming, but there were definitely some technical difficulties leading up to the incident that now make sense. On March 17 the Wi-Fi had suddenly stopped working leaving classes at a standstill. After running smoothly again, or so some would think, the Wi-Fi had faced the same issue March 24. The hackers were trying to get their way in but failed because many CPS schools noticed something had been going on and all of their Technology Departments were quick to make a move.

According to Principal Mark Grishaber, the hackers may have complete and full ac-cess to look into the information of the phones that are connected to the Wi-Fi. For those that also have things such as their bank accounts may be at an even higher risk with funds that can easily be taken from them.

Artwork by Julia Zeler

“I just find it kind of funny that this happened so unexpectedly. I think that the tech department could be behind this. If not them, it’s definitely Mr. Grishaber, or no wait maybe even Tyler Gates (Div. 627) who was slamming on his laptop the other day because it wouldn’t work. It could be anyone, but that’s my hunch,” said Heather Lee, Div. 637.

On March 30, the next day, Taft experienced an enormous life threatening complica-tion where the Wi-Fi altogether had stopped working setting many classes and teachers at a disadvantage. This was also a downside to those unmotivated students who stay on their phones during class, instead of paying attention to the lesson. So they had to actual-ly look up and do their job of being a student due to this glitch. However, many had phone internet, so the problem for some students was quickly solved and they went back to their phones. Those who had used all of their data for the month were out of luck.

However, more than just students were affected by this. While everything was hacked, there were pictures leaked. These pictures consisted of so called hipster English Teacher Sergio Santillan being not as hipster as he may appear. Santillan was looking at Aztec pants while at Urban Outfitters. In class he claims to be incredibly original and only speaks of bands people have never heard of. Out of class, he snags pictures on his Pola-roid which he then takes pictures of them to put on his Instagram.

“I was really embarrassed when these pictures had come out. They were definitely something that I didn’t think people were ever going to see. I’m shocked and I feel so tar-geted, I would definitely say I’m a hipster, regular people just don’t get me,” said Santillan.

Hackersanonymous.org reports that only 7% of hackings are made up of schools. “We’re doing as much as we can to try and attack the situation head on. This was

definitely something we weren’t expecting, but it isn’t something that can’t be fixed. We’re all putting our brains together in an attempt to get things running smoothly again,” said Technology Services Staff Derrick Whitaker.

Other schools have been affected as well. Lane Tech has experienced a hack on their website while Von Steuben teachers have lost complete access to gradebook. There is an ongoing issue with Taft’s attendance leaving Grishaber to make house calls to those run-ning a little late, which leads to students getting in trouble with their parents for false infor-mation.

While this problem may seem like it could be contained, many feel that the school is not safe. Students who have the Taft High School app are also at risk facing the same issues which lights the idea that it was done by an Eagle him/herself.

This issue just adds on to the long list of CPS flaws.

Anonymous takes down CPS

CITGO appreciates daily hoards of broke kids Taft students will be pleased to hear that their long

days spent at the local CITGO have earned them the thanks of the company itself.

In a speech made last Sunday, the gas station chain praised the tireless dedication of their high school custom-ers who, though not wealthy, are always prepared to loiter in the lot and convenience store for 30 minutes to an hour and a half after the school day ends.

“I love seeing them wander our 4x5ft building in packs of five or more. Their collective weekly 99c contribution tru-ly keeps the business afloat,” said CITGO spokesperson.

The store, located at 6367 N Milwaukee Ave, is report-edly the company’s most successful - and it is all thanks to the law-abiding individuals who regularly flood the premis-es. The store is devoid of smoking, vaping, and underage drinking. The establishment is also known for its friendly, violence-free atmosphere.

“It’s hard work. I save up all year to buy the one mini bag of Hot Cheetos that I split amongst my twelve friends,”

said Alize Medina (Div. 631), who has been a part of the CITGO support team since 2012.

On some days, the parking lot is so packed with stu-dents that it is impossible for individuals to access the gas pumps. Still, CITGO assures that this has not hindered their petroleum sales.

“You might think that the crowds blocking the lot would be bad, but, man - when you see that gray sweatshirt walk in, you know you’re about to get a single Arizona Tea sale, and that makes it worth it,” said the company’s spokesper-son.

The recently shut-down Natalie’s similarly benefitted from the high school’s proximity. The restaurant owner adored the students’ presence, and was known for his wel-coming demeanor. Had the local population contributed as much to the business as Taft’s students, the establishment may have remained open.

Taft’s support of local businesses is likely to continue for generations to come.

By Amelia Watkins

While it may appear calm, business is booming within Citgo’s gas station with Taft students buying little to nothing.

Going Into the Wild By Hayley Christopher

Growing up an extremely determined and studious person, Noor Alyasiry (Div. 637), takes a completely dif-ferent path than expected.

Having won the UIC- President’s Award Program, Concordia- Regents Scholarship, Dominican- Presi-dential Scholarship, and most wanted, The Damen Scholarship of Loyola, Alyasiry’s family was in awe when she told them the news of her dropping out of high school. Some admire Alyasiry for taking on her lifelong dream of moving to Alaska and becoming a nomad.

“There was this book, Into The Wild which was about a man, Chris McCandless. He became a nomad in Alaska and I was inspired to do the same. The scholarship was great and all, but I decided that sleeping with the animals in nature and under the trees were a better fit for me,” said Alyasiry.

Alyasiry has set goals for herself while she becomes one with nature. She has become attached to the idea of being the next McCandless who she relentlessly portrays her love for as he is the one who helped her make this de-cision.

“He is my life. He is my love. He is a part of me. He has guided me to this decision and I will forever follow his foot-steps, into the wild, literally,” said Alyasiry.

All of Alyasiry’s teachers highly support this decision and are advising all of their students to follow in her foot-steps.

“I am so proud of Noor for taking this huge step. This is every high school girls dream. I am so jealous that she’s going to be sleeping in dirt,” said close friend Stefany Moya, Div. 617.

Having the support of all her friends, family, and teach-ers, Alyasiry plans to leave everything and everyone be-hind the second after she graduates.

“I have wanted this for a long time now. I can’t wait to search for food and shelter. The hardest part is going to be not having a Starbucks on every corner,” said Alyasiry.

Fortunately, Alyasiry plans of becoming an Alaskan Nomad came at the perfect time considering the chance that Donald Trump has at becoming president.

Alyasiry throwing away her graduation cap.

Alyasiry retreiving a copy of Into the Wild from a trashcan.

Photos taken by Christopher

Eagles teaching the Indians to fly By Hayley Christopher

As long as Taft and Lane students can remember, their rivalry has been strong. However, this is subject to change as the two high schools prepare to combine and become one in the following year. The only question left is will the school be renamed Laft or Tane?

Recently, Lane was the only victim to a major budget cut causing Chicago Public Schools (CPS) to merge the two longtime competitors. Initially having a student body of 3,060, Taft will now be the home of over 7,260 students and will have 4,200 more chances of rival fights.

Not only will the student body be changing but some of the staff as well.

“I will be the principal and Lane’s current principal will be my assistant principal; that’s only if I have room though. I am also working out a deal with Gates Foundation to have tacher robots in every class to maintain the classes of eighty plus students,” said Mark Grishaber.

Grishaber will stay as the head of Laft or Tane. Having seniority on Lane’s principal, Grishaber will continue to remind both the old and the new Eagles to be at school 7:30 sharp!

“Personally, I be-lieve that this will be great for the Lane stu-dents. Their number one hobby is dissing Taft and now they can’t because they’re apart of it,” said Kayla Jurewicz, Div. 832.

Most have been working hard to figure out the future of the sports teams considering it will be rough for Lane to participate and keep up considering Taft sports are on such a higher level.

“We would always play on their field because Taft didn’t have their own. In the past, we were on their territory, but now, they’re on ours. We will teach the football players to follow in our lead, which will help them a lot,” said Abdul-lah Ahmad, Div. 728.

Despite the rivalry, both student bodies will be facing dramatic changes. The new Chipotle in Taft’s cafeteria will only be available to the original Taft students. Additionally, the incoming students have been questioning where they will store their books and belongings due to the fact that lockers are also only allowed to the veteran students. As if

this new merging proj-ect is not beneficial enough, veteran Ea-gles will be assigned an ex-Indian to carry around their books for them.

“Honestly, it’s go-ing to be great,” said Jurewicz. “We’re final-ly going to be recog-nized as the superior students that we are. I can’t wait for them to join us.”

One advantage for the former Lane students is that they will finally have perfect role models to look up to, both athletically and academically.

A former Indian carrying the books of their now fellow Eagle.Artwork by Raquel Alicez

Photo taken by Watkins

Phony Features

FEATURES CONTINUED 6FEATURES CONTINUED 4

Local teacher loves grading late work

By Citlalli Roman

During St. Patrick’s Day, Science Teacher Ewa Dudek thought it would be a good idea to celebrate the holiday by allowing her chemistry class to experiment with a unknown green substance.

The kids were ecstatic to have a lab trailing with the chemical substance, but what they were unaware of was the effect it would cause after it was spilled.

Joceyln Ortiz (Div. 727) said, “While I was touching this substance, I realized the tube was wet and the liquid started to get all over my hands. I looked around and no-ticed that everyone else’s tubes had broke. I immediately informed Dudek, but she let go of my concern and said everything was going to be alright. She then dismissed our class early.”

Dudek elaborated on the situation and said, “I didn’t know what to tell my students, but I knew I had to tell them something to comfort them and make them not make a big scene. Remaining calm and collected, no one caught wind of the strange reaction from the substance, so I let it go. However, that night after I left school, I developed a reac-tion from the chemical that caused my entire body to turn neon green. I had to stay home for a week.”

Symptoms overcame the students quickly.Ortiz said, “After school, during soccer practice, I no-

ticed my veins started to glow. At first I freaked out, but then I developed super speed and was even better at mak-ing goals. The bizarre effects quickly wore off, making me terrified; I started to question the safety of my life. I even tried emailing Ms. Dudek a bunch of times, but she didn’t answer any of them. The following day, my hair turned the color orange, but that was only the start; each day I devel-oped a new, strange deformity. I contemplated dropping out of the class until the effects started to disappear. Sadly, that also included my super speed.”

Along with Ortiz, several students started developing

symptoms of glowing skin, pointy ears and orange hair.Alex Labastida (Div. 835) said, “When the incident

happened, I was scared at first, so I immediately went home to research some of the effects that started to take over me which consisted of the glowing green skin and pointy ears. My family members didn’t want to get close to me in fear that they would be contaminated themselves. I tried to skip school to avoid the embarrassment, but after a week the effects went away and I was back to normal.”

Every student in Dudek’s fourth period class demand-ed she tell them what was within the mysterious substance that had caused them to turn into leprechauns for a week, and her response was minimal.

“Students!” said Dudek. “You’ve been over reacting! The substance that I have given you to play with is a green glow stick; the effects you talk about are all in your head!”

However, Dudek revealed to the staff of Taft Today that she stretched the truth drastically.

“The reality is that I wanted to punish my class for mis-behaving, but in the process, I developed the symptoms as well. Mistakingly, I had completely turned into a leprechaun and became unrecognizable. I have no idea what went wrong, but now that the effects are over, it really doesn’t matter. Plus, the children were affected more than I was, so ultimately, my plan worked,” concluded Dudek.

Whatever the substance may have contained, it is im-portant to follow Dudek’s safety rules when handling chem-icals. For example, wear gloves, safety goggles and al-ways have your hair pulled back when working in any lab. Also, remember to always be kind and behave in Dudek’s class in order to avoid her turning you into a leprechaun.

Taft making technologcial history With technology advancing rapidly daily, it may be

challenging for many to keep up. However, Taft has exem-plified yet again their superb capability of staying up to date by admitting the first ever student robot.

Created by Taft’s very own robotics department, Rob-ert the Robot came about when students in robotics class-es became fed up with their peers lack of capability to hold a riveting con-versation.

“Robert, although a ro-bot, is the clos-est thing to a human despite his ability to re-tain informa-tion and his lack of emo-tion,” said Ki-eran King, Div. 627.

Despite his fairly new presence, Robert has al-ready become Taft’s number one athlete, scholar, and friend to all.

Fellow teammate to Robert, Jacob Gies (Div. 637) said, “When you put a ball in his hand, no matter what the sport, there’s no doubt that he’s going to sin-gle-handedly win the game for us all. He’s making full court shots with his eyes closed, hitting homerooms with just his arm, spiking the ball with no hands; he really is the epitome of an athlete.”

“I am fond of sports,” said Robert in his monotone, yet heartening tone.

In relation to his heartwarming persona, Robert has made quite the impression on the ladies at Taft.

Nayeli Contreras (Div. 617) said, “He’s such a heart-throb; even though he’s completely made up of steel and bolts, he’s still the most sensitive guy I’ve ever met. I spend

Class devestated after a not-so-lucky chemical spill

hours talking to him, and he never interrupts; he never ac-tually responds, but his blank stare speaks for itself.”

Although Robert has gained mass popularity from ev-eryone in the building, he often wonders the hallways of Taft in search of other robotic life.

“I’m currently awaiting a companion who can share similarities with me. My creators are substantial as they gave me life, however, I long for more,” shared Robert.

The fu-ture of Robert is bright as he plans on grad-uating this year with an 8.2 grade point average on a 4.0 scale. He is in the process of de-ciding on a college, al-though it’s a process he wishes would diminish.

Robert said, “I do not understand why the col-lege recruiters are acting in a manner as such. They bombard me excessively, each at the same time. The only re-cruiter who does not over-whelm me is the recruiter representing Wright Col-lege, so I most likely will be attending their educational in-stitution this fall.”

Wherever Robert ends up in the future, he will forever hold a spot in history, both at Taft and in general, as the first ever student robot.

Robert the Robot showing off his Taft spirit.

Artwork by Noelani Martinez

By Hannah Gonzalez

Dudek becoming overwhelmed with student complaints.

Photos taken by Roman

Students immediatly experiencing reactions from the chemical spill.

By Amelia Watkins

“Grading is love, grading is life,” recently announced Mathematics Teacher Anil Menon in a move that shocked his coworkers.

Menon has been teaching for a number of years. Ini-tially, he says he loathed grading, calling it a “test of sanity,” but now he appreciates the time he spends scoring the il-legible scribbles of procrastinators.

“I realized that my days of fun and excitement had to come to a close when I turned 30. With a heavy heart, I hung up my basketball jersey, sold my season tickets, and bought a brand new set of red pens,” said Menon. “This is my life now.”

Yearly, with the end of first semester, teachers are flooded with requests to grade work collected in early Sep-tember. Where others weep over their lost weekends or outright refuse to grade, Menon relishes the opportunity to crush the spirits of his young pupils.

“I get a rush every time a student does work perfectly, and I can deduct half credit for tardiness,” cackled Menon.

His wife, Maya Menon, has expressed concern over her husband’s recent fixation.

“He used to enjoy spending time with our daughter… At first I thought it was an affair, but, no -- he stays late every day and obsesses over piles of old assignments. I’m not sure which is worse,” sobbed Mrs. Menon, who is sev-eral months pregnant.

None of his students, Menon assured Taft Today re-porters, are likely to receive an A.

Menon (center) sleeping on the job after an all-night late work grading session.

Photo provided by the Yearbook Staff

FEATURES CONTINUED 75

Grishaber installs fear for the 7:30 mark By Citlalli Roman

In a school lead by principal Mark Grishaber there has been a lot of policies enforced by him, one of them being to arrive to school by 7:30 A.M. What a lot of people forget to mention is the punishment given to those who arrive later than 7:30 A.M; these are their stories.

“So it started like any other day. I woke up, filled in my eyebrows, practiced how I’d annoy people during the morning announcements, and then I realized the clock

read 7:32 A.M! I gathered my things and hopped in my car so I could race to school. Once I arrived, I slipped through

door eight and scurried to my locker. It was surprisingly quiet. After pulling the last book from my locker, I felt a sharp blow to my head and immediately I blacked out. I

woke up about an hour later I think, only I had a bag over my head and I was trapped inside my locker. I screamed

for help until I heard footsteps approaching, walking slowly towards my locker. ‘Is anyone there?’ I gasped

when I felt the figure lean in closer. It was Mr. Grishaber. “7:30 sharp, boy.” He swiftly kicked the locker and

disappeared. It was a week and a half before anyone real-ized I was in my locker,” said Grace Gilliam, Div. 645.

“I walked in late to school with my lunch around 9 A.M. when all of sudden I bumped into Mr. G when he

asked why I was late. I told him it was because I woke up late and had to make my lunch. He then asked what my sixth period class is, and after telling him he just backed away silently. When sixth period came around, he came to my class and sat right in front of me and started to eat my lunch, not breaking eye contact once. I went home

hungry that day, but I learned from now on I need to wake up earlier,” said Michelle Orozco, Div. 637.

“I came to school around 7:45 A.M. Grishaber stopped me in the hallway, looked me in the eye and

broke my lacrosse stick. He said I was off the team, and was even threatening to take away my prom privileges.

I’m sorry Mr. G, will you please let me back on the team?” said Marco Gonzales, Div. 628.

“I ran as fast as I could, I really did, but it was too late. I walked in at 7:31 A.M. when I was officially pro-

nounced late for school. Mr. G walked up to me, with a big red button “7:30 sharp” he chanted. He pressed the

button and the floor beneath me fell open. From there I found myself falling in a 30 foot drop into Taft’s dungeon. After regaining my balance, I was greeted by two super seniors who told me they had been there for two years. They also told me that the only way to get out was to

sacrifice my right to sit on the couches. It was tough, but I did it. After that, I never arrived to school late again,”

Gabriella Kupryjanczuk, Div. 733

“I arrived to school by 7:40 A.M. when I bumped into Grishaber who pulled me aside. Not knowing for what

reason, he told me to come to his office. He asked me do you know why you are here?’ When I said no, he told me to look at the time. It was 7:45 A.M. He then made get on my knees and stare at the wall for twenty minutes. After, I

was able to leave to my class, but it was the most embarrassing thing ever,” said Luis Ortiz, Div.722.

“I remember one day I walked into the building late. I tried to rush to my first period, but I was stopped by Grishaber who yelled at me to get to class. He then

started to follow me. After the period had ended, I noticed Mr. G. waiting for me outside my class. He walked me to my next period, and continued to do so for the rest of the day. He literally walked right beside me to all my periods.

Let’s just say I learned my lesson of arriving late to school,” said Denise Carvajal, Div. 821.

“One day I overslept and the bus was taking a long time to arrive, so I decided to walk to school. I finally got there and entered through door eight where I saw Mr. G; he immediately took me to the deans and demanded that

I get a in-school suspension. During the in-school suspension, I had to clean all the boys bathroom with a travel sized toothbrush for over 12 hours,” said Franky

Sanchez, Div. 821.

“I came to school around 8:20 A.M. and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Grishaber coming out of his

office. I tried to walk past him quickly, but he stopped me and asked why I was so late. I said it was because I had

a dentist appointment, but before I could finish explaining, he grabbed me by my book bag and hung me in the

janitor's closet where I remained for the rest of the day. He let me go around 6:30 that night,” said Odaliz

Gonzales, Div. 920.

“One day we had morning practice for soccer so we were at the school by 6 A.M, however, we were running late to first period because we had to change. While on our way there, Grishaber saw us in the hallway and told

our coaches about our tardiness; they didn’t let us practice for a week. Mr. G. also made us clean all the gum underneath the lunchroom tables as additional

punishment. We weren’t even late,” said Danielle Hubert, Div. 738. and Kiriat Monterroso, Div. 730.

“I came to school during my second period and walked by Mr. G’s office where he called me inside and asked why I was late. I admitted I went to go get coffee. Mr. G slowly inched closer to me and whispered ‘7:30 sharp is the rule.’ He then put me in a choke hold and

started wrestling me in the hallway. The police came and escorted me home. Since then, I’ve been in my first

period class by 6:30 A.M,” said Sophie Ybarra, Div. 837.

“It was 7:45 A.M. when I arrived to school on my skateboard. Mr G caught a hold of me, broke my skate-

board in half, and said ‘You know the rules! 7:30 Sharp.’ I now have to walk to school,” said Kevin Flores Div. 819.

“I walked into school around 8:31 A.M. when Mr. G saw me, took me to the main gym and ordered me to run 200 suicides. By the time I was finished, I wasn't able to stand. Grishaber witnessed me fall after attempting to walk and laughed at me, saying ‘get to class, punk.’ I

physically can not afford to arrive to school late anymore,” said Alba Rama, Div. 925.

“While walking to school late I got stopped by Grishaber who held me by my ear all the way to the

attendance office where he then gave me a detention for being late. When I checked the time, it was only 7:46

A.M,” said Dana Percival, Div 631.

“I was walking to the front entrance around 7:50 A.M. when I then went to the band room where Mr.G pushed me against the locker and called two security guards to

help pin me down. He then took my shoes and said that if I’m late again he would call my mom and leave me

barefoot,” said Isaac Mondragon, Div. 932.

“While I was walking through the front entrance, Grishaber stopped me and said ‘You’re late.’ I said ‘I’m sorry, I overslept and my brother refused to drive me to

school, so I had to walk.” He then replied by saying he did not want any excuses. He picked me up by the back of my shirt, and threw me in the basement for nine hours without a phone, food or water. When I got out, I tried telling people but nobody believed me. Please believe

me,” said Bleron Halili, Div. 929.

“I came to school during third period one day and I was called by the attendance office. I got there, and Mr. G started screaming at me saying I needed to be at school on time. After throwing a bunch of supplies he had on his desk against the wall, he threatened to expel me. He then

made me clean up the mess he had made,” said Kevin Hengles, Div. 729.

Photos taken by Roman

Spring Word SearchFEATURES CONTINUED 6FEATURES CONTINUED 6

Spot the diff erence

Senioritis is an illness that has infected a large popu-lation of the Taft student body, to combat this epidemic school officials have considered implementing Cannabis dispensaries in the building for academic and motivation-al purposes.

If you were not aware of the Senioritis epidemic, it must be clear that Seniors are not the only who possess the symptoms of this disease. According to www.usnews.com senioritis is one of the most significant problems that all high school students face and is most easily recog-nized by teachers who see a lack of motivation and effort in student’s work.

The epidemic consumes students at stages and there are only so many ways to combat them. Fastweb.com describes the condition as a constant battle be-tween, “I don’t want to fail,” and “I don’t care enough to do any-thing.” So how does Senioritis arise?

Stage One: Excitement; Stu-dents are excited about the be-ginning of school, reconnecting with friends, and trying their best in class to make a great impres-sion on their teachers.

Stage Two: Complacency; This is the limbo stage, where students are not necessarily ex-cited about school, but are still looking forward to leaving.

Stage Three: Detestation; This is the worst stage, where students begin to loathe their school, teachers, friends, classes and are completely unmotivated and angry.

Stage Four: Nostalgic Re-flection; No one has entered this stage yet, because it typically oc-curs in the final month of high school. This is when the Seniori-tis bitterness dissolves and stu-dents begin to cherish the best moments they spent in high school.

The biggest concern for teachers is that students will give up on their high school careers far too soon. Teachers will al-

ways make the argument that every bit of effort counts in school, but when a student is infected with Senioritis, chances are they were not even listening during this lec-ture.

“As a teacher it is my concern that students heading towards the end of the year begin to lose focus and drive to do well in their classes. It is important that students fight this urge, but most importantly that we find a cure for this epidemic,” said Environmental ScienceT eacher Grahm Baruch.

According to www.merryjane.com Marijuana ap-pears to improve focus and productivity if used correctly. It can be incredibly motivating and drive you to complete tasks. In order for this to work, one must be open to cre-ativity and have passion for the task at hand. However, some do not see the medicinal use of marijuana to be

Taft considers adding Cannabis dispensaries to motivate studentseffective in an academic setting.

“Drugs are a distraction and will not motivate students to do better in school. Students will not be successful if they are subject to this medicinal remedy,” said Caroline Young, Div. 836.

Furthermore, researchers from weedaintthatbad.com,concluded that at this point, marijuana is the only leading antidote to combat students suffering Senioritis. As the debate continues on whether or not Taft will take part in the fabrication of marijuana dispensaries, economical and logical propositions have already been in place.

Students and staff will have access to the dispensa-ries during passing periods, they will be located in conve-nience by the vending machines on the first floor. This will ensure that consumers are not inconvenienced by the side effects of cannabis consumption. These side effects in-

clude: hunger (“the munchies”), thirst (“cot-tonmouth”), and of course creativity and motivation.

Not only will the dis-pensaries benefit the school body, but the fund-ing of our school as well. With just two dispensaries provided for consumers, the school will profit about $35,000 a month. This will contribute to the school’s funding and supply Taft with more renovations needed to help motivate the student body. The Lo-cal School Council (LSC) has even discussed the possibility of expand-ing this idea to other Chi-cago Public School (CPS) locations.

Whether you call it “weed,” “maryjane,” “loud,” “bud,” or “kush,” cannabis is an essential factor in the motivation and benefit of Taft high school. We will not let Se-nioritis consume us, we will fight the urge and toke.

As of next year, Taft students will be required to ac-commodate to a new classroom setting that is sure to become the cause of several social issues. This policy consists of accusations that state gender as being at fault of most of the distracted and failing students. Con-sequently, there will no longer be unisex classrooms or hallways.

This policy was created in order to ensure that there are no distractions between the two genders.

Robert Raszewski (Div. 727) said, “I think it is a great idea be-cause I can focus more on my school work instead of being dis-tracted by other females. This will definitely bring up my grade point average (GPA).

Although this is seen as pro-gressive idea, some believe that it can have a harmful impact on the perception of gender equality.

“I hate this new policy be-cause I want to be with my part-ner. Sure, this can help my GPA rise, but what about my partner? Besides, students won’t accom-modate to it easily. The ethos of Taft is more focused on coming to see your significant other or friends, not just to learn,” said Lissette Escalera, Div. 634.

This policy is sure to create a social division,. Transgender stu-dents may start fearing the taunts of the gender they place in.

“I feel like it would hurt more than help them [trans students]. Gender expression is weird when it comes to expressing one’s self. How would the administrators choose for them? It will just cause bullying,” said Tyler Niedzielak, Div. 636.

According to Lane Tech’s newspaper, The Warrior, “[gender fluid bathrooms] give kids a comfortable alterna-tive to the gendered bathrooms, which can be scary.”

Nothing in high school is scarier than a restroom with

By Harmony Gonzalez

New policy for 2016/17 school year- no coed classrooms or hallwaysBy Hibbah Hassan

a stick figure either wearing a dress or pants. Not the pos-sibility of a school shooting or being expelled or a bomb threat, but deciding which bathroom to go into.

Taft took action and decided to focus on more import-ant topics, such as distractions in the classroom and hall-ways.

According to TaftYesterday.org the new policy is titeled “Anti-Purpeling” and states that males and females should not have any contact during school whatsoever. There

should be designated hallways that are labeled for each gender as well as assigned classrooms.

Students are expected to steer clear of any temptation. If a crisis does occur in which a stu-dent gets lost and finds him/her-self in the wrong gender hallway or classroom, scream and run around in circles in order to not draw attention to yourself. A school official will find you imme-diately and return you to the near-est gender specific hallway.

Despite the committed school administration, this policy will cause more harm than good. It’s negative impact will enlarge the existing gender gap and will fur-ther reinforce stereotypes and the perception of both genders.

Useless Opinions

Artwork by Brenda Barraza

Artwork by Brandon Kennedy

COLUMNS CONTINUED 8

Say goodbye to the days of filling up your plastic tren-ta Starbucks cup at the water fountain! In an unprecedent-ed move by the Chicago Board of Education, Chicago Public Schools (CPS) will begin charging students for all on-campus water usage.

CPS students will be charged per 8oz of water con-sumed at the water fountain, as well as per flush of a toilet and minute spent washing hands.

Teachers have been instructed to monitor in-class wa-ter expenditures, while a new slate of guards have been hired to monitor each bathroom, fountain, and sink in CPS schools. Charter schools, as per usual, will not be affected.

“Water is a luxury Taft can no longer afford,” said a somber Tania Jacob, Div. 726.

This mandate is the result of four years’ worth of nego-tiations between the Board and the Chicago Teachers Union (CTU) over the district’s budget issues. Reportedly, in a meeting attended by Karen Lewis and Jesse Ruiz, leading economists determined that this was the most fi-nancially advantageous solution.

“We understand the city’s concerns over the recent 400,000 lay-offs and 500 school closings. As such, we have chosen to charge students for their water consump-tion. With this additional revenue, we can afford to continue contract negotiations, as well as flood the Illinois Legisla-ture with our S.O.S. pleas,” said Lewis and Ruiz in a joint statement.

The Board has also funded a team of skywriters to paint “SAVE CPS” above the Illinois State Capitol.

All 20 Illinois representatives declined to comment.Environmental activists have begun to rally around the

Taft will begin to charge students for their water usage plan, stating that it will punish children for their careless use of water. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is promoting implementation of the policy in schools nation-wide. Furthermore, the organization is recommending that paper towel, toilet paper, and printer paper usage also be charged.

“The planet is doomed and this is the only way we can fix it,” declared Gina McCarthy, head of the EPA, in a recent press conference.

At Whitney M. Young Magnet High School, where the mandate has already taken effect, students have other ideas. Viva La Agua, an underground militant organization, has cropped up in the last month. The group is responsible for illegally filling at least 300 water bottles for students. Their reach is expected to extend outside of Whitney Young and into surrounding CPS schools.

The Department of Homeland Security has placed leaders of Viva La Agua on the nation’s most wanted list.

“We are doing everything we can to prevent this scourge from infecting Taft students,” Taft administration assured concerned parents.

The school has announced the release of Taft Credit, a credit card for families who do not want to carry coins and paper money to school each day. “Buy four get the fifth free” deals have also been revealed. Standard free and discounted lunch rates will not apply.

As it stands, whether students like it or not, this is the best solution to CPS’ budget crisis. Those who cannot af-ford to support their water habits will have to strengthen their bladders and suffer their dehydration. In the end, the good of CPS as a whole supersedes the discomfort of the few.

By Amelia Watkins

Photo taken by Amelia Watkins

Taft has recently become a victim of the wire bandits, resulting in the disappointment of several seniors, and a lawsuit. The wire bandits have been known to steel re-cords from several schools and holding them in a top se-cret location.

After reports surfaced of this tragedy, Taft decided to approach this issue with special care and attention. How-ever, they failed to keep the records safe.

One of the security guards, who for the safety of his files decided to remain anonymous said, “I noticed a group of kids looking through the glass, so I ap-proached the locked door to get a closer look. How-ever, the moment I touched the handle, I was thrown to the floor, for the power of the volts they used was far too strong for a man like me. After that, I could not remember a thing.”

The wire bandits were able to break into the main office and destroy all of the computers.Additionally, the wire bandit’s leader swal-lowed the hard drive con-taining all of the backed up information. It seems that there is no hope for the se-niors.

International Bacca-laureate (IB) seniors Zohaib Ahmad, (Div. 615) and Kim-berly Berger (Div. 618) agreed that this is an unaccept-able outcome, for Taft’s staff is expected to have worked

more efficiently. “I am so frustrated and completely disappointed. I

will do anything to get those records back. I can not go through this again, I will just give up, said Berger.

In fact, Zohaib has taken it upon himself to repre-sent the devastated seniors. He decided to take this to the Board of Missing Files and will be receiving help from The Anti-wire Bandits League (AWBL). The AWBL is an organization composed of high school repeats. Only victims of the wire bandits are allowed to join this organi-zation.

“I am so angry and frustrated, I will be filing a police report and will be seeing Principal Mark Grishaber in court, said Ahmed.

Senior Teacher Anil Menon is also filled with an-ger stating, “We need to find those records and get them [the seniors] out of here.

Although some believe this to be a negative tragedy to have occurred at Taft, IB student Moe Awad, Div. 618 sees it as a chance to start over.

“I am so happy that the IB administrators won't be able to see all the horrible work I have done in the past four years. I am so excited because maybe now I can

be one of the cool kids. Being the biggest freshman on the football team sure will help, exclaimed Awad.

Even some of the opposers saw a light in this hope-less darkness.

The School Board has been pondering solutions to bring more money in for the school. A recent idea that has been floating around is now being greatly considered is to expand the student body even further; but not just to 7th through 12th graders.

Starting in the 2016-17 year, Taft will possibly be open-ing its doors to students ranging from kindergarten to 12th grade. The idea is still up for debate, but is quickly receiv-ing positive reactions all around.

“I think it is a very sensible approach that will benefit the school in more ways than one. Beside the financial fix, it will also take care of the empty feeling students receive in the halls of Taft. For many, the lack of population in the building can get very lonely. The younger students will bring a refreshing sense of youthfulness that the pressure of high school tends to take away,” said Uriel Hernandez, Div. 639.

The plan would not include separating elementary and high school students in the building. All students will also be on the same time schedule. With a population of only over 3,000 and room for many more, there will be no safety issues with mixing such a wide range of students.

"I look forward to the change strictly because my feel-ings are that especially the kindergarteners will do a better job of listening and have the ability to improve our test scores," said Science Teacher William McDade.

Putting the younger students with the older will give them higher standards for discipline and will be positively influenced by the maturity of Taft’s high schoolers. It gives the adolescents the chance to get a preview into the lives of teenagers while still being surrounded by those who at the same level as them.

Taft becomes K-12By Ally Abbinanti

Senior forms lost- have to redo high schoolBy Hibah Hassan

Artwork by Julia Zeler

Artwork by Julia Zeler

Dress code returning for 2017/17 school yearBy Ally Abbinanti

Starting in the 2016-2017 school year, Taft’s uniform is going to make a return! For the students who attended the school during the time of the previous dress code, there have been some adjustments made.

“After further consideration I’ve decided to reinstate the dress code at Taft High School. All males in the building will have to wear an Armani Suit, A Prada shirt and tie and a pair of Sergio Ferragamo or Gucci shoes. All ladies will be required to wear a Valentino dress, white pearls from Tiffany’s and a pair of black Jimmy Choo shoes,” said Principal Mark Grishaber.

There are multiple ways that the school as a whole will benefit from this change. This change will help the school to have a more professional image such as a private high school would.

According to listland.com, uniforms do not only keep students more focused and on task, but can help stu-

dents get ready in the morning quickly and lessen the chances of missing school.

Students who will be required to wear the uniform will have the opportunity to express themselves in unique ways such as different hairstyles and be innovative by working with what they can.

“I am beyond excited for next year because of the uniform. The fact that everyone will be dressed the same will really help some students fit in more and not feel lonely or like an outcast. Polos are also really stylish nowadays,” said Cindy Hock, Div. 830.

Students who do not comply with the new dress code will face consequences depending on the number of viola-tions. A first offence punishment will result in three saturday detentions. Two or three violations will result in suspension. Any student who has over three violations will be expelled from the school.

his past behind him?“Honestly, I would not be afraid to still have him around,

but prison is where he belongs. The only thought I have now is will he go back to his old ways and is there possibly another Zodiac Killer to replace him?” said Jonathan Gar-

cia, Div. 636.According to other online

sources, the Zodiac Killers preferred weapon was a hand-gun to terrorize his victims. Also, after intense research from a variety of scientists and detectives, they discovered that Cruz looks younger than his actual age. He actually found the fountain of youth and selfishly used it for him-self, and, to this day, will not share.

“What an embarrassment to America, this man shows exactly what not to be and if anybody still votes for him its mind boggling. I truly hope justice is served and he is out of the race,” said Edgar Ro-man, Div. 732.

With this astonishing news out to the world, only the future will tell us the fate of Cruz and our country. Let us hope the justice system can make the right move and rid America of an awful criminal.

React videos are a big part of the You-tube community, but with the Fine Broth-ers now owning the word ‘react’ many You-tube reaction channels can kiss their subscribers goodbye.

Benny and Rafi Fine are officially known as the Fine Brothers and are highly recognized for their popular react videos on Youtube. The brothers started their channel in 2004 and reached about 14 million sub-scribers until they tried to copyright the word ‘react’ in 2016, which caused them to lose subscribers at an alarming rate, how-ever, they were successfully able to copy-right the word the second time around and are now able to flag every video with the word react in the title.

Now, every single time a react video is uploaded, the channel will face conse-quences and can get sued by the Fine Bros.

“I think what the Fine Brothers are do-ing is messed up because it seems like they just came up with a way to make more money. They didn’t come up with the idea of react videos and just because they got really popular off it doesn’t mean they can get away with this,” said Evelyn Vazquez, Div. 629.

The Fine Brothers would often see oth-er Youtubers making their own react videos and would feel as if other people did not acknowledge them. They eventually real-

Go ahead and sue meized that everything had gone too far and decided that they deserve to be the right-ful “owners” of the word.

“I saw a couple of their react videos and I found them really funny so I eventu-ally ended up subscribing to them, but when I heard what they were doing, I just thought ‘wow, they’re really hungry for power’ and unsubscribed to them,” said Noe Pena, Div. 930.

Because of them winning their copy-right case they were able to sue thou-sands of Y outubers and are gaining more money from each one. The Fine Brothers have made over $582,349 so far just by suing.

“The fact that they tried to go through with this the first time and failed and did it

a second time just goes to show how deter-mined they are to get things done their own way. These guys are really greedy and it’s no wonder they lost so many sub-scribers. This is demonstrating what their true intentions are and it’s just to get more money in their bank,” continued Pena.

Even with their decline of subscrib-ers the Fine Brothers were still able to get the copyright for the word ‘react’. Hope-fully the react channel community is not affected too much by this unfortunate turn of events.

Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz is an American politician and the Junior United States Senator from Texas. He is a candidate for the Republican nomination for President of the United States in the 2016 election, however, is there another side to the man that may be our president?

The Zodiac Killer was an unknown serial killer who operated in northern Califor-nia in the late 1960s and early 1970s. He murdered at least five people and left two surviv-ing victims and is regarded as a leading suspect in four more murders. The Zodiac Killer communicated with authori-ties and the public via occa-sionally encoded letters and postcards sent to media orga-nizations, occasionally encod-ed, in which he claimed a total of 37 victims all of which were killed in the exact same way; a bullet to the head, left for dead.

The Zodiac Killer’s first murder occurred in 1968. While Cruz was born in 1970, many years of research and investigation actually show that Cruz was born in 1949, 19 years before the first mur-der and 21 years before his fake birth.

“A man like this should be put behind bars, he should not be eligible to hold

a position in office or run for presidency,” said Alec Gonza-lez, Div. 623.

With confirmation of his past, questions arise regard-ing other aspects of his life, such as his name, his family, and other relations. Should we still be in fear or has he put

Killer takes a shot at POTUS

Photo from FBI archives

Photo from Twitter

Despite the past seven years being filled with record breaking success and var-ious different nominations, Twenty Øne Piløts has decided to hang up their masks for good.

The band was formed in 2009 by Tyler Joseph, Nick Thomas, and Chris Salih and has released their self titled debut al-bum. They toured in their hometown of Ohio before Thomas and Salih left in the middle of 2011. After meeting through the popular dating app, Tinder, Joseph was then joined by Josh Dun and they grew into the band we know and love today. Or so we thought.

“At first, when I heard Twenty One Pi-

lots was breaking up I assumed they were joking again, but then I saw the announce-ment on Twitter,” said Cait Kegley, Div. 737.

Dun tweeted a screenshot of a Direct Message sent by Joseph kicking Dun out of the band indefinitely.

“I can’t believe this is happening; it’s just so unreal. They had such a great dy-namic and I can’t believe they just fell apart like that. I had tickets for their show in June, and I was looking forward to it, but I guess that’s not happening anymore,” said Sare-

From twenty one to zeroena Volkman, Div. 739.

Fans are desperate to understand what caused the ultimate divide between the for-mer bandmates and friends. There are a cou-ple different theories going around as to what might be the reason. Some fans point back to an Alternative Press interview they had back in December where Joseph had allegedly said that they would stop making music when-ever they did not feel interested in it anymore. Other fans have theories that the personifica-tion and characterization of Blurryface has become too much for Joseph to deal with, ul-timately leading to the band’s breakup.

“I had just gotten over the breaking up of one of my favorite bands and this is just re-opening the wounds. They were such an in-

spiration to me, and I even changed my name to Tyler! I just hope they can still be friends after all of this,” said Tyler Niedzielak, Div. 636.

This tragedy is on par with My Chemical Romance (MCR) breaking up back in 2013. All fans should remember this band for mean-ingful lyrics, introspective beats, and a friend-ship that everyone deserves. Here’s to hoping for a reunion tour.

Never before seen photo of Ted Cruz, the Zodiac Killer, in action

By Janneth Pena By Katie Grealy

Photo from Twitter

By Husain Abdeljabar

Invasive Entertainment

Killing the dream

The Presidential race is one of the more engrossing subjects of 2016 with names like Donald Trump and Ber-nie Sanders being thrown around, but with Kanye West running for President in 2020, the United States is going insane.

According to online sources, Kanye West decided to run for the 2020 Presidential election when he saw the low talent in this year’s competition. He said he wants to “pimp up” this country and get it nice and funky. West is, of

course, attracting our younger crowds.“I would love to see him as our President. My favorite

rapper can represent our great country, and since most of the younger people respect him, we might actually follow the law,” said Sandra Pielechaty, Div. 727.

With one of this generation’s most iconic rappers hav-ing a chance at taking over, what does that mean for our country? According to his presidential campaign site, West states that if he were to become president his first priority would be to take care of the music industry by banning all music that is not made by him or that speaks negatively about him. After that, West wants to revolutionize the fash-

ion industry by making a new amendment that states, “Thou shalt wear only Yeezy shoes and other clothing de-signed by Kanye.” If broken, West claims to take all of the offender’s awards and money and throw them in a dark room for a timeout.

“I respect the man but he needs to take it easy. He would be o ne of the coolest Presidents that we could have and would make history as the second African American president. Although, I’m not trying to rock Adidas or Yeezy apparel because it’s all about team Nike,” said Abdullah

Ahmad, Div. 728.According to an interview with Kanye West on Satur-

day Night Live (SNL), West is looking to make his wife, Kim Kardashian, Vice President along with various family members holding the rest of the offices. “Run America our way” is the slogan he is centering his entire campaign around.

With West running for President, the year 2020 will be something to look forward to. When West wants it he gets it, and he wants America. Look forward to 2020 where we get a real President to funk out America!

Yeezy outlines his funky campaign

Boys, it is finally here: the secret to getting your dream girl’s attention. You will now be able to learn what a girl wants and how to keep her.

At some point guys might wonder ‘What should I do to get her attention’ ‘Why doesn’t she like me?’ or ‘What can I do to make her think I’m suave?’ Well boys, the wondering ends now.

First off, before you approach a girl you need to look spiffy, so make sure you have not showered and let that musky scent overwhelm you. That aroma will have girls falling head over heels for you in no time.

What about the way you give yourself off? Re-member this: girls love them lazy, so if you want to invite her out, the first place you abso-lutely want to take her is your house. You got to dress to im-press. Do not try too hard for it will scare the girl away, and do not bother cleaning your room. Show her your room and that will show her you are lazy. She will be impressed with your room and will definitely want to go out with you again.

Coming from a woman, if you have nice legs then please do wear skin tight joggers. Show off those calves and you will re-ceive endless attention. In the summer do not forget to shave your legs, because when you wear shorts it will also give your legs a dazzling shine, which will also catch a girl’s eye.

“One day I met up with my boyfriend to go to the party of one of my closest friends. He came dressed in skin tight leggings and a black crop top. I thought he looked so cute

Now that is what we call spicyOn Feb. 28 Leonardo DiCaprio finally won an Oscar

for best actor for his leading performance in the film, The Revenant.

This was a bittersweet moment for hardcore memers because while people were very happy that DiCaprio was finally recognized by the Academy, countless memes were put to rest. As it turns out, the top must have still been spinning because now the Academy has decided to revoke his award due to his hypocrisy in his speech and being re-sponsible for the murder of so many memes.

“I think revoking DiCaprio’s Oscar is the only logical solution. His beautiful memes are 5 years in the making and he just decides to win an Oscar, just like that? For such greed there is a price to pay. He needs to be tried for mur-dering these memes. It needs to be known that when you murder memes you’ll be punished. We’re looking at you John Cena,” said Nathan Lopez, Div. 733.

Some are even claiming that DiCaprio should have never won it in the first place. There is no argument that DiCaprio has starred in some fairly fantastic movies such as Inception, The Departed, and The Aviator, however, many are saying that his recent role would not have been the one to get him the Oscar. Also, the theory still stands that the Academy only awarded him the Oscar so that the memes would end. Other stars like Adam Sandler in the blockbuster Pixels are much more deserving of the presti-gious award. When will real talent get the recognition it de-serves?

“Clearly Leonardo DiCaprio winning is just some elab-orate joke. I mean, didn’t everybody see that Steve Harvey was supposed to announce that Matt Damon had won best actor?” said Bryan Chaves, Div. 730

Another reason DiCaprio got his Oscar taken away was for his speech on saving and preserving the environ-ment. As it turns out, DiCaprio does not exactly practice what he preaches. The Department of Public Services re-ported that DiCaprio had about 10 different drafts of his speech before finally settling for the one he ended up giv-ing. This means that approximately 10 packets of computer paper were completely wasted, not even recycled!

It should also be noted that on the set of The Reve-nant, a film awarded for the way its cinematography cap-tured the landscape, a forest was practically destroyed by the excessive use of jet fuel from the private jet that DiCap-rio insisted on using to get him around set. Not only has he killed the memes, but he is also is murdering the Earth as well.

These are just a few reasons as to why DiCaprio got his Oscar revoked. Better luck next year, Leo.

that it made me so much more attracted to him and I was so excited for my friends to see who I was dating,” said Jessica Yee Div.633

Ladies, it is not just about what you want, guys have needs too. Firmly believe that these tips will make all the boys bat an eyelash at you. When a guy takes you out do not go for the salad, I repeat do not go for the salad. Pig out, order those baby back ribs smothered in onions with extra cheese and garlic on the side. Go for it, he will be so amazed.

Do not pick at his food though, the sec-ond your hand is flying anywhere near his food you can bet that will be the last time you two go out. Never touch your date’s food.

“Once, when I went out with this cute girl named Stacy, I ordered onion rings, and she ordered a straw-berry milkshake. I was so happy to see my onion rings arrive, and out of nowhere she, reached over and I flipped. I said, ‘What do you think you’re do-ing, if you want-ed onion rings you could have ordered them for yourself! Why do you have to eat my onion rings?!’ That was the last

of Stacy,” said Miguel Machucka, Div. 822There you have it, just a couple of tips you can use

whenever you are ready to impress that certain someone. Remember, never try too hard and maintain yourself carelessly and you will find yourself in a relationship sooner than you think.

By Janneth Pena By Katie Grealy

Artwork by Rose Satola

Artwork by Mark Villeda

Pictures edited by Piccinini

10ENTERTAINMENT CONTINUED

By Husain Abdeljabar

Taft legend defeats the G.O.A.T.By Jamie Leos

Head to head, in a one-on-one basketball game, two rookies played for the last spot on the Chica-go Bulls. Little did Physical Education Teacher and Coach Kirk Vidas know that that the rookie he beat in 84’ would end up being the one and only legendary Michael Jordan.

Back in 1984, Jordan became a member of the Chicago Bulls, earned College Player of the Year, and was Co-Captain of the gold medal winning U.S Olympic basketball team. To most, Jordan was an unstoppable force, except for one man.

At the time, Vidas was also playing basketball in Chicago, and ended playing in the same gym as Jordan at a rookie showcase.

“Thinking back at the day, it seems like it was just yesterday. Both of us were fresh and full of com-petitive energy, but I knew he had nothing on my skills. I could easily defeat this guy. Playing against Michael was very difficult at first. Once I got my first point on him I realized what I would need to do to win,” said Vidas.

The two rookies, eager for competition, challenged each other to a one on one match of basketball. With little effort, Vidas dunked on Jordan and gained applause and adoration from the particularly small crowd watching.

“We played a full length game, the crowd grew bigger, the applause grew louder. The final score was 20-6 my win. Piece of cake. I was the winner and the filler of the spot on the Bulls. Unfortunately, just a few days later, I twisted my ankle. It’s because of this that Michael was chosen for the team. Safe to say there’d be no MJ without me,” said Vidas.

Vidas moved on from playing basketball after the 1984 Olympics, where he represented Greece. He is now a coach and physical education teacher at Taft. Due to the fact that Vidas had to forfeit his spot to Jordan, he continues to boycott Jordan’s shoe brand to this day. Perhaps this duo will make plans for a rematch in the future.

Taft’s boys varsity basketball team takes on the Nishibayashi’s

Photo provided by LeosVidas dunking on Jordan

By Ozzy Ramirez Throughout the course of many sporting events, many

of us have underestimated our opponents and have faced the consequences from doing so. When you take a team or player lightly, an upset is bound to happen. On March 5th, the starting five that includes Brett, Chad, Troy, Nick, and Bajla Nishibayashi, took on the Taft Varsity Basketball team and blew them out 92-51.

Surprised? Well you should not be. The bas-ketball genetics that Nick and Bajla have passed on are off the charts when you look at the three sons they have produced in the last 40 years. Current Varsity Basketball Coach Brett was an all-city and all-conference player for Taft and has the quickness of a cat and the basketball IQ of a basketball guru. Next, you have Chad, an all-con-ference player who is scrappy and plays harder than anyone you will ever see. The final of the brothers is Troy, the all around player that was an all-city and all-conference player when he was at Taft as well.

“It really wasn’t all that challenging. Once you take me out of the equation, the team is use-less. If I'm not there telling them what to run, what positions they need to be in, then we might as well be playing the academic center kids too. They’re too soft, and we took advantage of it,” said Coach Brett.

Though the brothers are a crucial part to the team, the team's best players are the ones who raised this group to-gether. Nick Nishi, former Varsity Coach of Taft’s Basket-ball team, has multiple years of basketball experience. This trait, along with his superb athleticism and dunking ability at 93 years old, gives the team the spark of energy they need to win basketball games. Even though he usually sits

in his lawn chair when he runs his practices, his legs are no joke once he gets on the court. Arguably the most import-ant person of the group is the person that gives this squad the intimidation factor when teams face off against them is Bajla Nishi. She has some of the most intense and aggres-sive defense you will ever see in a basketball player. Her ability to yell at you and throw you of your game, paired up

with her phenomenal shot blocking ability at only 5’4 makes this freak athlete a force to be reck-oned with.

“There was no way of stopping them. It was like every time I'd go up for a rebound I would get thrown around by Mrs. Nishi. She would yell at me and keep calling me a soft coward. We also couldn't stop old Nishi’s sky hook or stop Brett from getting to the rim, and when you have Chad guarding you all up in your face and he's telling you how no one loves you and that I should quit playing basketball, it really gets to you,” said Var-sity Captain Almir Alliloski, Div.615.

This squad is one of the best to ever be as-sembled in the game of basketball. Let this be an example that when the Nishi's are challenged, you will find it a challenge to even compete with them.

Photo taken by Ramirez

Chad Nishibayashi breaking Isaiah Sanders ankles

The Only Section Athletes Read

Abdeljabar commiting to the University of MichiganPhoto taken by Ovaldo Ramirez

Football superstar commits to Big 10 University

On March 15, Football Player Husain Abdeljabar (Div. 628) commit-ted to the University of Michigan where he will be first string quarterback for the 2016-2017 season.

“Receiving the offer from Michigan was not a shock to me. I believed my talent and leadership was well deserving of an offer and I expected nothing less. I was at first filled with tears of joy knowing that Michigan came to their senses and knew that if they wanted to win, they would need me as their number one Quarterback,” said Abdeljabar.

Throughout Abdeljabar’s high school career, he racked up 5267 pass-ing yards, 45 touchdown passes, 1287 rushing yards, and 13 rushing touchdowns as quarterback and 134 tackles, 25 sacks, 9 picks and 12 touchdowns as linebacker.

Abdeljabar stands at 5'10, weighs 180 lb, throws as far as 27.6 yards, can run a 40 yard dash in 5.12 seconds, and has a throwing accuracy of 99.7 percent.

“I believe I put in the hard work to get into the notorious University of Michigan. They saw my leadership, determination, hard work, and it was rightfully recognized. I worked hard to get my stats, so they deserved to be awarded,” said Abdeljabar.

Abdeljabar received other offers from Ohio State University, Univer-sity of Alabama, University of Oregon, University of Oklahoma, and Michigan State University.

“None of the schools I was offered a spot at possess the great coach-ing staff of Michigan, and do not wield great players that reflect in the NFL. I promise to bring a national title to Michigan and lead them to an undefeat-ed season,” said Abdeljabar.

It takes a lot of dedication and skill to achieve such a great honor so next time you see Abdeljabar, make sure you congratulate him.

By Samantha Muslovski

12SPORTS CONTINUED

The rise and fall of “ski”By Ozzy Ramirez

People look at math teacher Justin Yesensky and the words “stud muffin, stallion, hunk, and suave” may come to mind. However, what many people don’t know about this incredible human being, is the tragic story of his athletic career. Well, it is time for Taft Eagles to appreciate great-ness. This is his story.

Yesensky was a three sport athlete at Glenbard West High School. There he broke multiple school and state re-cords for football, basketball, and tennis. Many say he’s an icon of the school. He was a force to be reckoned with, earning All-State honors as a super strong safety causing at least 3 concussions per game. He also earned All-City honors as a shooting guard scoring 61.3 points per game and he received All-American honors from his legendary tennis tenure; then tragedy struck.

“I had just gotten a Triple, Venti, Half Sweet, Non Fat, Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks and as I was ap-proaching the steps to my house, I slipped on a banana and landed on my shoulder. I had toughed out the pain and de-cided to play out each of my different sports seasons but I couldn't swing my arm the same way for tennis, I wasn’t able to tackle in football because it would hurt more, and I couldn’t shoot a basketball anymore because it would make it sore. I decided to go to the doctor to get it checked and they told me I had a serious bruise. I decided to stop play-ing sports for good,” said Yesensky.

Though he stopped his athletic career, he would go on to attend Elmhurst University to become a teacher. Now he is one of our bright math teachers and has become a team favorite athletic coach for Tennis and Football. Many students had nothing but good to say when asked about the coach.

“Ski is my hero. He makes our practices fun and is a great coach. I want to grow up and be just like him,” said John Williams, Div 837.

Every now and then Yesensky is faced with the pain which occasionally puts his classes or daily activites on pause.

Yesensky is an example of facing adversity and de-feating it because though he had a career-ending injury, he found joy in being an educator and as a coach.

Photo taken by Ramirez

Yesensky stopping his class because of his shoulder pain

Say no to drugs and say YES to drug testingBy Angelica Roman

The Fourth Amendment arguably states that no one is subjectable to random searches unwillingly. However, due to a new safety regulation of the sports conduct, all athletes must undergo drug testing in order to play for any spring, fall and winter sport.

A form that states “I hereby willingly volunteer to be randomly drug tested” will be distributed during practic-es next week, and every student athlete must sign. This will be a requirement to play for any Taft sport.

“I honestly believe that this new regulations, are one of the greatest decisions that the athletic director Ryan Glowacz has made for our school’s sports teams. It's going to be a major wake up call for some teens, and for them to look at what the consequences are,” said multi-sport athlete Freddie Fitte, Div. 624.

The first urine samples of all current athletes will be taken next Friday in the main gym, and results will im-mediately be processed and seen by school officials.

“I feel like it's a good motivator to stay on the right path. It's time to hold kids accountable for their actions, they aren't only hurting themselves, they're hurting their team too. And the last thing you want to do is let your team down,” said Khalif Johnson, Div. 629

If a student is under the suspicion of using drugs illegally, they will be called in for testing. Further ac-tions will include immediate disciplinary actions and a treatment plan.

“It's not fair to our teams! They deserve your 100% effort, it would be embarrassing to have people look at you and not be on the team,” said Fitte.

Earlier this year Chicago Public Schools (CPS) started the no-tolerance grade policy meaning you can not play a sport if you are failing a class. This kick started a line of new policies, like the mandatory drug testing, to make our sports team stronger and better grounded.

“The ultimate goal is to be state champions, that's why it's necessary to do these tests, it's only going to help us get better in the long run,” concluded Johnson.

Whether you are for or against doing drugs, it is important to realize that a win is better than a high. You will perform better and feel better if you cut mar-ijuana from your daily routine.

Physical Education attendance shocks allBy Jamie Leos

Is the game or Miracle Whip to blame?By Angelica Roman

Soccer Coach Jeffrey Lucco took a nasty fall last month and tore his anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) and meniscus whilst playing his favorite sport, soccer. Well at least that’s what the story supposedly was. Re-cently, Lucco decided to come out to uncover the real truth about his so-called soc-cer accident.

Lucco said, “I had just come back from playing soc-cer and decided to make my-self an italian sub. Now usu-ally italian subs don’t have mayo, but I put Miracle Whip on everything. So I went to my fridge and reached for one of the ten containers of mayo on the top shelf, when I accidently knocked some down. Now there was a giant mayon-naise mess in my kitchen. I took a step back to avoid it but I soon realized my fate as I slipped and fell.”

This created havoc in his kitchen, as Lucco strug-gled to reach the paper tow-els, he felt a striking pain in his leg. According to facts.org

it is an actual fact that mayo-naise has been linked to about 33.7% of kitchen acci-dents in 2015.

Furthermore, the injuries he sustained have worsened and his condition has be-come life-threatening since the correct precautions were not properly attended.

“I feel tired of walking all the time, and my leg hasn’t gotten any better. The doc-tors want me to stay in the hospital for careful surveil-lance, so I’m taking a leave of absence. It’s such a shame because my class this year were the most well behaved students I’ve ever had while teaching here at Taft. I’m go-ing to miss them so much” said Lucco.

Next week, Lucco will be flying all the way to Seattle, Washington for special care in one of its state’s top facili-ties, Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. He will be dearly missed by students and faculty.

Photo taken by Roman

Lucco refl ecting on his mistakes

Taft physical education teachers have been pleasantly surprised by their attendance sheets this school year. They’re showing a 100% attendance rate during their 8th period classes.

“Teaching gym during the last period of the day, one would expect students to ditch and go home, but I’ve had full classes since the first day of school,” said Physical Ed-ucation Teacher Samantha Espinosa.

Normally at this point in the school year, many students even those who are not se-niors, suffer from “se-nioritis,” which is the lack of motivation to finish the year.

“I have walking well-ness for my 8th period class. Knowing that I will soon be thrown into the real world after gradua-tion, I plan on enjoying every second of my school days in high school,” said Emmanuel Soto, Div. 629.

According to a re-cent study, seniors are becoming more and

more afraid of the thought of leaving the secure feeling of being in highschool. This fear leads them to put their full potential into their classes, even the blow off gym class.

“All of my senior students in the class come fully pre-pared. Everyone is in full gym uniform, and I’ve never seen such excitement for physical education in students,” said Espinosa.

Gym courses have defeated the odds and showed that even though it is the end of the year, coming to class is still possible.

Artwork provided by Leos

Artwork by Samantha Muslovski