take one for advertising: michelle brokop (815)751-1286 geneva · 9/5/2018 · orange peel gazette...

September 5, 2018 Volume 12, Issue 24

If you are age 7 - 107. . . Enjoy Your FREE Copy Of The Orange Peel Gazette

Amusing Stories • Jokes • Puzzles • TriviaCommunity Events and Coupons

Distribution on the 1st & 3rd Wednesday of each monthFor Advertising: Michelle Brokop (815)751-1286 Email: [email protected]

Download your FREE copy today at: www.OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo.com

FREETAKE ONE

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Nutrition Workshop Everyone had weighed in, and our

workshop leader began her lecture on the week's topic - the problems of dining out. She talked about alternatives, such as diet sodas and dressings, and having meat broiled instead of fried. Finally she turned the question over to the group fordiscussion. "What is the greatest problem you encounterwhen going out to eat?" Replied one woman quickly, "Running into you!"

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FOR ADVERTISING, CALL MICHELLE AT (815)751-1286

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New Greeting I hadn't recorded a greeting yet on my new

answering machine, so when my mother came tovisit, I asked her to record one for me. "This is Marcia's mother," my machine announces. "Marcia isan only child; she never writes, she never calls. Sowhy not give me a buzz? I'd be happy to talk to you.My number is..." Everyone started calling my mother. She loved the

attention.

Mexican Restaurant A Mexican restaurant I pulled up to looked great.

Only one problem - it wasn't open. So I jotted downthe name for another day. Just then, a man came outof the restaurant and took a peek at what I'd written. "That's not the name of the restaurant," he said,

pointing to the sign over the door. "That's Spanish for'Closed on Mondays.'

• I actually tried to grow my own food, but I can't find any Twinkie seeds.

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ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESGREAT RATES - GREAT RESULTS - CALL TODAY! (815)751-1286 • PAGE 3

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The Marina It was a hot summer day, and Luke was in the

marina, having a few beers aboard his boat, patriotically named the "Fourth of July." He was waiting for his friend, Opee, to arrive so they could gofor a cruise. Unfortunately, Opee was late. He had to pick up his

wife from her appointment with the obstetrician. Theywere able to save money on her examinations becausethe doctor, a fellow named Juan, was Opee's cousin.Anyway, the appointment took longer than expected,and Opee was late getting to the marina. Luke had been drinking all this time, and was

feeling no pain. When he saw Opee finally walkingdown the pier, he jumped up, staggered to the side ofthe boat to wave to his friend, and nearly fell in! Opeegot there just in time to grab Luke. Thus, it was that O.B. Juan's kin, Opee, saved Luke

from falling to the dock side of the Fourth.

Medical Error At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the

anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a

co-worker at the hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was

correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as badthere as it used to be?" "Well, I suppose," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."

Not My Boots The nursery school teacher had spent half an hour

dressing her charges for outdoor playtime, pulling onboots, zipping and unbuttoning coats, matching mittens and gloves. As she finished struggling withJennifer's boots, she let out a sigh of relief. Then Jennifer tugged on her arm. "These boots aren't mine,teacher." With a groan the teacher knelt down and pulled off

the boots. "Do you know whose boots these are, Jennifer?" "Sure. They're my sister's. Mom makes me wear

them anyway."

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ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESLike us on Facebook for past issues & more fun stories...OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo • PAGE 4

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Little Brother? A mother asked her small son what he would like

for his special day. "I'd like a little brother," the boysaid. "Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother.

"Why do you want a little brother?" "Well," said the boy, "there's only so much I can

blame on the dog."

Liturgical Response In our Anglican church, each service begins with a

greeting. The officiating clergyman says, "The Lord be with you." The congregation used to respond bysaying, "And with thy spirit." But, with the modernizing of the liturgy, the

minister now says, "The Lord be with you," and everyone responds with, "And also with you." One Sunday a visiting bishop went to a church

where the sound system was known to be old and unreliable. As he approached the microphone, hetapped it several times and finally said, "There's something wrong with this!" Without hesitation, the whole congregation

answered faithfully, "And also with you."

Noise Abatement "Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn

right 45 degrees for noise abatement." "Roger," the pilot responded, "but we're at 35,000

feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir," the radar operator replied, "have you ever

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Knowing Your Spouse One of the funniest memories I have of the trials

and tribulations of making the journey from childhoodto adulthood was our annual summer vacation trekfrom Chicago to a cabin usually someplace on a lake in Wisconsin or Michigan. Every year, it seems, we would get on a highway a

few miles out of the city, and mom would wail, "Ohmy goodness! I think left the iron on." And almostevery year we would turn around and go back. But as I recall, not once was it was ever plugged in. She oftenhad the same fear that all our earthly possessionswould disappear in a fire caused by her forgetfulness. When I was about 14 years old, we were headed out

of Chicago for Lake Geneva, Wisconsin and, sureenough, Mom gasped, "I just know I left the iron on." My father didn't say a word, just pulled over onto

the shoulder of the road, got out, opened the trunk andhanded her the iron.

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you

still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Kitchen Humor • If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap. • A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. • Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. • Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. • A Clean House Is A Sign Of A Misspent Life. • Help Keep the Kitchen Clean - Eat Out. • Housework Done Properly Can Kill You. • Countless Numbers Of People Have Eaten In This Kitchen and Gone On To Lead Normal Lives.

• My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.

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In This Issue Of The ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE

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Why English is Hard to LearnIf I speak of a foot, and you show me twofeet, and I give you abook, would a pair be

a beek?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,why shouldn’t two

booths be called beeth?

If the singular’s thisand the plural is these,should the plural ofkiss be ever called

keese?

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THANK THE BUSINESS WHERE YOU PICKED UP THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE


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The Rules of Bureaucracy 1. Preserve thyself. 2. It is easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem. 3. A penny saved is an oversight. 4. Information deteriorates upward. 5. The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time; the last 10% takes the other 90%.

6. Experience is what you get just after you need it. 7. For any given large, complex, hard to understand, expensive problem, there exists at least one short, simple, easy, cheap wrong answer.

8. Anything that can be changed will be, until time runs out.

9. To err is human; to shrug is service. 0. There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over.

Small Town Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped

for gas in a tiny village. "What's this place called?" heasked the station attendant. "All depends," the native drawled. "Do you mean by

them that has to live in this dad-blamed, moth-eaten,dust-covered dump, or by them that's merely enjoyingits quaint and picturesque rustic charms for a shortspell."

Can You Relate To This?My forgetter's getting better, But my rememberer isbroke, to you that may seem funny but, to me,

that is no joke! For when I'm "here" I'm wondering, If I really shouldbe "there". And, when I try to think it through,

I haven't got a prayer!

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AATTTTEENNTTIIOONN::AALLLL RROOOOFFIINNGG CCOONNTTRRAACCTTOORRSS AARREE NNOOTT TTHHEE SSAAMMEE!!What SW Roofing has done to solve the issues everyone has with Roofing Contractors...

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Screenwriter A screenwriter comes home to a burned down

house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standingoutside. "What happened, honey?" the man asks. "Oh, John, it was terrible," she weeps. "I was

cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because Iwas on the phone, I didn't notice the stove had caughton fire. It went up in seconds. Everything is gone. Inearly didn't make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy isgone........" "Wait! Back up a minute," the man says. "My agent

called?"

2nd Grade Math I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math

class that was learning about groups. In one exercise,pupils were asked to label a group of items accordingto their common characteristics. Pictured were onionrings, doughnuts, a bundt cake, and ring cookies. Thecorrect answer would have been that all the items haveholes in the center. But one health-conscious boy's response was, "All

of those things contain too much cholesterol."

Murphy's Laws on Computers - As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.

- Installing a new program will always mess upat least one old one.

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ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESCONNECTING CUSTOMERS AND BUSINESSES. . .THAT’S WHAT WE DO BEST! • PAGE 9

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OPG 9-5-18_Layout 1 9/5/2018 10:15 AM


Opee Gazette says: Let’s Play!Who Wants To Be A Zillionaire?The General

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$688,000 Question...What did Jack Horner pull from his pie?A) Plum B) CherryC) Ring D) A nut $689,000 Question...How many feet are in a fathom?A) 2 B) 3C) 6 D) 9$690,000 Question...Many celebrities are better known by their stage name.What was Erich Weiss better known as?A) Lone Ranger B) TontoC) Mickey Mouse D) Harry Houdini$691,000 Question...Who sailed in the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria?A) Magellan B) ColumbusC) Drake D) Jefferson$692,000 Question...Whose nose grew when he told a lie? A) Pinocchio B) GoofyC) Elmo D) Minnie Mouse$693,000 Question...What would a Scotsman do with a spurtle?A) Golf B) FishC) Eat D) Sew$694,000 Question...If you had developed pogonophobia, what would you beafraid of?A) Beards B) ChickensC) Pigs D) Water$695,000 Question...Which country grows the most fruit?A) USA B) ChinaC) Brazil D) Argentina

(Answers below - See you next issue)

Answers: $688 - A; $689 - B; $690 - D; $691 - B; $692 - A; $693 - C; $694 - A; $695 - B.

A Wrinkle in Time My husband and I both look very young for our

ages. In fact, we've hardly aged a day since we firstlaid eyes on each other in college -- at least, that's whatwe tell each other. Our children have a way of bringingus crashing back to earth. Recently, my husband and I were discussing a man

who was running for public office. "He's a Vietnam Vet," commented my husband. "What's that?" queried our young daughter. Trying to answer the question in terms a four-

year-old could readily grasp, my husband replied,"Well, Honey, that means that the man fought in a warthat happened when Mommy and Daddy were little." Our daughter regarded us both thoughtfully for a

moment, then asked "So, was he a Viking?"

Sea Monsters Two sea monsters were swimming around in the

ocean, looking for something to do. They came up underneath a ship that was hauling potatoes. Bob, thefirst sea monster, swam underneath the ship, tipped itover and ate everything on the ship. A little while later, they came up to another ship,

again hauling potatoes. Bob again capsizes the shipand eats everything onboard. The third ship they found was also hauling potatoes

and Bob once again capsized it and ate everything. Finally his buddy Bill asked him, "Why do you

keep tipping over those ships full of potatoes and eating everything on board?" Bob replied, "I wish I hadn't, but I just can't help

myself once I start. Everyone knows you can't eat justone potato ship."

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QuickBooksQuickBooksnot so quick?not so quick?

• Spending more than an hour per month doing your books?•Would you rather spend your

time making money?

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Early Bird Game 6:30pm

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ELBurN LIONS PArk500 S. FILMOrE ST

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at 5:00pm

Wine Connoisseur? When it comes to wine I'm very particular about

what I buy. There are two things I look for before making my selection. First, the word "Wine" must appear somewhere on

the label. This is something upon which I insist. Second, I look for a sign nearby that says "On Sale." Follow these two rules and you won't go far wrong.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Workaholic As an attorney in a major New Mexico law firm,

I have many colleagues who work long hours. However, the reputation of one of my partners'

workaholic ways even extended beyond the office. He not only had to leave work early one day because of a medical problem, but was also told by his doctor to stay home until the end of the week. My colleague grudgingly agreed to comply. In the

middle of the week, our receptionist received a call for him. She announced that the partner was out of the

office until Friday. "Good," the caller said. "That's all I wanted to

know." It was my partner's doctor.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Love is grand; Divorce is several hundred grand.

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AAMMEERRIICCAANNSSEEPPTT IICC SSEERRVVIICC [email protected]

Aerobic Treatment Plant Services Multi-Flo • Nayadic • Hydro-Action • Clearstream

Annual Aerobic Treatment Service Contracts

COMPLETE SEPTIC SErVICESPUMPING • rEPAIrS • INSTALLATIONS

Pulled Over Returning from a trip to visit my

grandmother in California, I wasstopped by a state trooper in Kansas forexceeding the speed limit. Grateful tohave received a warning instead of aticket, I gave him a small bag of mygrandmother's delicious chocolate-chipcookies and proceeded on my way. Later, I was stopped by another

trooper. "What have I done?" I asked. "Nothing," the trooper said, smiling.

"I heard you were passing out greatchocolate-chip cookies."

Quaint Shop England's West Country is known

for its charming cottage-like shops.While visiting the area, my friendpeered in through one window to seeshelf upon shelf of interesting-lookingbooks. So she went inside. A woman appeared though a beaded

curtain and asked, "Can I help you?" "No, just browsing," said my friend. "Fine," came the reply. "But so you

know, around here most people knockbefore entering someone's home."

Speeding Ticket A lady who was speeding had an of-

ficer pull her to the side of the road.She didn't have her seat belt on so assoon as she stopped, she quicklyslipped it on before the officer got toher window. After talking to her about speeding,

the officer said, "I see you are wearingyour seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you

always do it up with it looped throughyour steering wheel?"

Angvick Antique Motors

PO Box 7 • Burlington, IL 60109

(847)287-4413 oldmotorsguy.com [email protected]

Specializing in vehicles manufactured prior to 1940BUY • SELL • RESTORE • REPAIR

OPG 9-5-18_Layout 1 9/5/2018 10:15 AM



Welcome Home provides people who have moved with useful community information and FREE gifts from localmerchants: all to help you become familiar with the area.

Call or Text For a Visit -Batavia • North Aurora • Batavia/Mill Creek

Jennifer Zack • 630-229-2001

Moved Recently?We would enjoy meeting you!

- www.welcomehomebatavia.com -

• Thermal Pane Glass • Storms & ScreensReplacement

• Broken Window Repair• Shower Doors & Enclosures

• Commercial Storefronts• Decorative Glass

Call today!224-228-1000

NOT NEW WINDOWS -

NEW GLASS!

RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIALGLASS AND GLAZING SERVICES

224-228-1000www.ClassicGlassandGlazing.com

(630)892-0344OTTO SCHuLZ - Owner

1157 S. Lake Street - Montgomerywww.TheExhaustWorks.com

BrAkE SPECIAL$50 OFF

4 WHEELS or

$25 OFF2 WHEELS

Expires 9/30/18

$20 OFFAny Exhaust

purchase over$200

Expires 9/30/18

MuFFLErS ▪ SHOCkS ▪ STruTS ▪ TIrES

SSuuppeerr SSaallee!!

MAINTENANCE & LANDSCAPING

• Tree Removal• Stump Grinding• Lawn Mowing• Mulch• Pruning• Brick Paving• Tree Planting

Free EstimatesFully Insured

630-639-3639630-639-3639Vidal (630)877-8691

Professional Animal Trainer As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed

when my own dog developed a bad habit. Every time I hung my wash out on the clothesline, she would yankit down. Drastic action was called for. I put a white kitchen towel on the line and waited.

Each time she pulled it off, I scolded her. After twoweeks the towel was untouched. Then I hung out alarge wash and left to do some errands. When I came home, my clean clothes were

scattered all over the yard. On the line was the whitekitchen towel.

Proof of Citizenship Before I could start my first job right out of college

I had to present evidence that I was a U.S. citizen. I showed up with my driver's license and birth certificate. The clerk looked at my driver's license and copied

down some information. She then picked up my birthcertificate and gave it a long look. "Is anything wrong?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "I can't find the expiration date."

CCoouunnttrryywweessttConcrete, Inc.Concrete, Inc.

If It’s Concrete We Will do It! • No Job Too Big or Too Small!

[email protected] 55 .. 99 00 11 .. 77 00 55 99

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EstimatesEstimates

Flatwork, Foundations, Decorative ConcreteTAKING OUT THE OLD, & REPLACING WITH THE NEW. CONCRETE RESURFACING

- F- FULLYULLY IINSUREDNSURED - -

DDANAN WWHITEHITE - - SSYCAMOREYCA MORE , IL, IL

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Bobcat WorkBobcat Work • HaulingHauling • Small demolitionSmall demolition • • Pole Barn repairs Pole Barn repairs

See us on FacebookSee us on FacebookCountryWest ConcreteCountryWest Concrete

Information gathered herein is from sources considered reliable. Accuracy however cannot be guaranteed. All humorous stories andjokes appearing here are intended for entertainment purposes only andare not meant to disrespect or harm any group or individuals. Ads appearing in this paper are not to considered as an endorsement or validation by Orange Peel Gazette for products or services offered.

OPG 9-5-18_Layout 1 9/5/2018 10:15 AM


Hetts Auto SalesLooking for a quality usedvehicle? All our vehicles aresafety inspected, have a carfax report and many are

priced in the $3000 - $9000 range. View our inventory at

www.hettsautosales.comHetts Auto Sales is locatedin downtown Oswego by theR/R tracks, “Our mission isto give you a pleasurablebuying experience” and remember owner, Ed and son, Matt are your friendsin the car business.Hetts Auto Sales

69 W. Washington St. (Rt 34)Oswego, IL 60543630-554-9339

www.hettsautosales.com

CASH PAIDWWII, WWIMilitary uniforms,

photos, weapons, medals,patches, helmets, posters,souvenirs, & older firearms.

630-215-3664

Garage Doors by CurtSales and ServiceWe Sell CHI DoorsLift Master Openers(630)276-3453

BUYING

AUTOMOTIVEThe Right Guy

Carpet Cleaning, IncCertified Cleaning for CarpetTile/Grout, Area Rugs, Upholstery, RV’s

Residential/Business/Rentalswww.TRGCarpetCleaning.comFor Reviews & Pics • 19yrs Exp.630-264-4369 Free Estimates

CARPET CLEANING

HANDYMAN

GARAGE DOORS

EGGS FOR SALE

AL’S ELECTRIC(Semi Retired, but not Tired)Licensed • 45 yrs Exp

Just Call Al (630)514-6569

ELECTRICAL

Ed & Judie’s Chicken &Duck Egg Farm: Self Service

6S260 Hankes RdAurora (630)907-0775

$125 Mixed Face Cord$150 Oak Face CordFree Delivery/Stacked630-907-0775 Ed

FIREWOODASPHALTDRIVEWAY REPAIRINSTALL & PATCHING

ASPHALT SEAL COATING & STRIPINGANDEL SERVICES, INC

Hand Applied Se Habla EspañolOffice: 630 566 0210Cell: 630 675 7102

COACHINGProfessional Intuative

Serviceswww.LisaLuca.com847-525-7182

FOR SALE

Sick? Tired? In Pain?doTERRA Essential Oilsrestored my health.You deserve the same!Call me to learn how

essential oils can replacemany drug store itemswith no side effects.Mary 630-404-8510

BETTER HEALTH

Estate Sale - Private; kitchen/living rm furnitureChristmas dishes,collectiblesStained Glass WorkshopAppt only- 630-608-8045

ESTATE SALE

SEPTEMBER 13, 14, 158AM - 5PM

Gas Pipe ThreaderTorch

Vacuum PumpSheet Metal - 8 sheetsSheet Metal fittings

Freon 12-22Harley Black Leather JacketHarley Davidson SaddleBagsHarley Davidson Magazines

Car MagazinesBaseball/Football Cards650 LUDLOW AVE

EAST SIDE OF ELGIN

GARAGE SALE

Maroon leather ottoman,Oak curio cabinet

Oak entertainment center, 3 non-wrking wooden clocks

847-683-9477847-707-7533

Used golf balls $7.50/30High Chair $10

New pool cover 24 x 33 $501053 S. 5th St • Aurora


HELP WANTED

Gary’s Painting & Handyman (630)409-6002$25/hour local

$27/hour long distance_______________

HANDYMAN-NAILS-ITHome Improve/Rpr/Mainthandyman-nails-it.com(630) 360-3039

Part time individuals to distribute the Orange PeelGazette 2 days/month inElgin, St Charles, Genevaareas, Call 815-751-1286_______________

Travel Industry/Spare TimeCall for a Consultation No Experience/We TrainWork Home: 630 766 8231

_______________

Yard work help needed,weeding, raking, trimmingetc. Part-time seasonal inBristol. 815-866-4245_______________

HOME TYPISTS NEEDEDTyping court transcripts from recorded audio. Must have good typing and listening skills.

35 pgs./day min., paid/pageMSWord/WP, no data entrySEND RESUME TO:

LeGrand Court ReportingFax: (630) [email protected]

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Wanted to buy junk -Cars, Trucks, Farm Equipment/MachinerySemi-Trucks Trailers

Free Pick UpCASH ON SPOT!(847)456-0974

WANTED

RON’S QUALITY PAINTINGInterior - ExteriorAffordable & Clean

Over 25 years experienceFree Estimates - Insured

(847)489-9907

Band Instruments: Cellos Open Hole Flutes, TrumpetsDouble French Horns,

Saxophones (847)951-7098

Bill’s Custom ServicesInterior/Exterior

Painting & Drywall Etc.Wallpaper hanging/removalOver 20 Years ExperienceFree Estimates/Insured

Now Offering Carpet Cleaning(815)482-4155

Lanza Masonry Inc.Brick, Stone, Tile

Pavers Retaining Walls 847-833-3384

MASONRY

AGUAS REMODELINGAll Kinds of Repairs;Electrical - Walls

Bathrooms - KitchensPainting

Habla Espanol(847)809-1102 Jesus

PAINTING

TREE SERVICE

OFFICE SERVICES

Superb Office Services• Computer Classes• Quick Computer Repairs• Desktop Publishing/Flyers• Print Restaurant Menus• Church Booklets Printing• Custom T Shirt Printing/Design for any OccasionElgin (847) 741-1007

Baker’s Window CleaningResidential/Commercial

(630)854-7716(630)859-7716

WINDOW CLEANING

TREE SERVICES &BOOM TRUCK SERVICESANDEL SERVICES, INCTree Cutting, Trimming,Stump Grinding, Chipping,

Haul AwayCall the office

or text my cell for estimateSe Habla EspañolOffice: 630 566 0210Cell: 630 675 7102

LAWN CARE SPECIALAerate $35 (48”Gate)Fertilizer $59 (0-10,000)Overseed Free with A & FBeautiful Lawn & Tree Care

630-585-0221

REMODELING

Tree Pruning & RemovalCall ISA Certified ArboristJoe (224) 789 - 8773

Northern Kane & Dupage Cowww.ArborJoe.com

STEVE’S TREE & STUMP REMOVAL630-943-6350

LAWN CARE

Wiltse’s Landscaping &Lawn Care

Lawns, cleanups & mulchingfertilizing & weed control,

pruning, plantingresidential & commercial

hardscapes - (815) 508-7502

Compassionate caregiver forsenior citizens. Give yourloving family member

excellent care. Backgroundcheck welcome. P/T, F/TReferences Available. Jan 623-910-9320 Hampshire/local area

SENIOR CARE

Next Issue Ad deadlineSeptember 19 September 7

To appear in the next issue of the ORANGE PEEL GAZETTEcontact Michelle at (815)751-1286

LAWN CARE

Sleeping Room $90/weeklyClean/Quiet, Non-smoking

Refrigerator accessAurora 630-247-1031

ROOM FOR RENT

INVESTING

BORING LIFE???Do you want to make yourlife more interesting?Learn to invest in Real

Estate and have the freedomand time you Deserve!Text “interesting” to:

630-675-7102 along withyour name and e-mail.

INDUSTRIALSPACE FOR RENTBatavia, Sugar Grove, St. Charles & Woodridge office & warehouse space for lease, from 1,500sq ft to 12,000sq ft. For info Call Don 630-330-7637or Sarah 630-318-2341

TOWNHOUSE / CONDO3 BRs, office, 2 car garage495 E. Willow, Elburn

$164,500: Classic Properties Call Fred Bernacchi (312) 671-0862

REAL ESTATE(630)264-3800WWW.SHEdCrAFT.COM

HOUSE CLEANING

Veronica & Audelia’sHouse Cleaning Services

630-506-2895630-935-5287

J & L BUILDERSHandyman ServiceBasement Finishing

Kitchen & Bath RemodelingYour Complete RemodelingService. Free Estimates

(630)334-1322J-LBUILDERS/facebook

OPG 9-5-18_Layout 1 9/5/2018 10:15 AM


LOOK FOR OUR NEXT ISSUE ON SEPTEMBER 19, 2018

1-800-TEC-CITY1-800-TEC-CITY

• Automotive - Import & domestic• Heavy duty Industrial• Agricultural Equipment• Construction Equipment• High Amp Alternators• Hot-rods & Classic Cars• recreational Vehicles• Lawn Equipment• Motorcycles • Snow Plows• race Cars

M.A.R.S, Inc.Starters • Alternators • Generators

www.MarsStarters.com

Call For Business to Business

Pickup & Delivery

don’t have time to wait? We offer 100% NEW units!

- - Call us First - - SS ttaa rr ttee rrss ••AAllttee rrnn aattoorrss ••GGeennee rraa ttoorr ssRebuilt to SAVE you Money!

WBENC CERTIFICATION# - WBE1701399

1-800-832-2489 • 815-756-9019

You Look Tired A coworker told me that I looked tired. "I am," I said. "I just finished 100 push-ups." "Oh really? When did you start doing push-ups?" "Well, I did the first one in 1986."

I plan on living forever. . . So far, so good.

For more info call 630-851-4002 or visit www.stgeorgeaurora.org

OPG 9-5-18_Layout 1 9/5/2018 10:15 AM

take one for advertising: michelle brokop (815)751-1286 geneva · 9/5/2018 · orange peel gazette...

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