terminal bullying and unconditional forgiveness

7/31/2019 Terminal Bullying and UNCONDITIONAL FORGIVENESS

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Terminal Bullying and Unconditional ForgivenessBy Patricia Backora

Ive often submitted a question to online Bible experts. But as of yet

none of them has had the gumption to attempt an answer. A questionwhich would have baffled the wisest saints God ever created. Why dothey refuse to touch this question with a ten-foot pole? Because there

is NO possibility of a happy ending for those affected by the situationIve read about countless times, and nearly happened to me.

The question, and its a mouthful: How can anyone be expected toforgive an unrepentant bully who has driven a loved one to suicide

through prolonged, deliberate, vicious verbal or physical abuse,especially knowing their loved one was unsaved and will suffer eternal

torment in hell because the bully drove them there?

Unconditional forgiveness seems to be the hottest (and touchiest) topic

of the hour in Christian churches and prayer groups. I may hold aminority opinion on this issue, but I doubt forgiveness of the

unrepentant can be unconditional. Especially in situations where theoffender has caused extreme injury and was in full possession of his/her

faculties when they committed the offense. Defenders of


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UNCONDITIONAL FORGIVENESS always pull this ace out their sleevewhen backed into a corner: Jesus said, Father, forgive them for

(BECAUSE) they know not what they do. That little word for is thekey, and far from bestowing blanket forgiveness upon all criminals and

offenders, it begs a question: If the vile religious leaders who

persecuted and murdered Christ KNEW He was the spotless Son of God,and they killed him just to get rid of the competition, why would a just

God shower UNCONDITIONAL FORGIVENESS on those despicable ratslike candy? John the Baptist didnt run self-awareness seminars to make

sinners feel better about being sinners. Instead, He warned about Gods

fierce wrath and asked people how they expected to escape it(Matt.3:1-7).

Some Biblical experts believe the most ancient manuscripts do not

include that verse where Jesus says Father, forgive them for they know

not what they do (Luke 23:34). They think its a later addition to thetext. Of the four gospels, only Luke mentions this alleged statement of

Christ. It flies in the face of Jesus excoriating the scribes and Phariseesfor hindering His work (see Matt.23:23). These evil men claimed they

DID understand the difference between right and wrong. Christ said thatif they were too blind to see this, they would HAVE no sin. But because

they DID understand, their sin remained (John 9:41).

If this verse IS valid, then who was Christ praying for on the Cross? For

the people who had witnessed His miracles and were still scoffing athim? Maybe the pagan Roman soldiers really did think they were nailing

a common criminal to the cross, but those Jews who had witnessedChrists miracles were without excuse. They DID know what they weredoing! Jesus plainly said that if He hadnt done those wonderful miracles

to prove that He was Gods Son, they would be blameless before God.

John 15:24: If I had not done among them the works which none other

man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hatedboth me and my Father.

Jesus did not excuse the scheming, conniving scribes and Pharisees

because they didnt know any better. Instead of babying theseevildoers with UNCONDITIONAL FORGIVENESS, He warned them of thedamnation of hell (Matt.23:33).

Even the pagan Pilate bore a degree of guilt, although Jesus told him it

was less than that of his betrayer (John 19:11). Far from excusing theirfellow Jews for putting Christ to death, the early apostles called them


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murderers who betrayed the Prince of Life (Acts 3:15; 7:52; IThes.2:15)

Maybe the Roman soldiers who crucified Him knew not what they did.

At least one of them came to his senses (Matt.27:54; Mk.15:39).

Even in the New Testament God could get mighty tough when He had

to. For just ONE instance of lying to the Holy Ghost, God struck Ananiasand Sapphira dead in front of the Apostle Peter (Acts 5:1-11). In

Revelation 19 you see Jesus act like the angry lion of Judah and destroy

His enemies, rather than the meek Lamb Who submitted to abuse whenthe time came for Him to offer Himself up for our sins. I sincerely

believe thats the real reason He prayed for God to restrain His wrathagainst His persecutors, assuming that verse is valid.

Aphiemi, the Greek word most often translated forgive, does not meanforgiveness in the sense of declaring the offender absolved of blame and

restored to a faultless condition. It means to let go, or as wed saytoday, Just let it go or Hold off on that or Put it on the back burner,

at least for now. A long time ago we kept boarders in our house. Oneof them said, Pat, could you hold off on doing those dishes so I can

have the hot water for my shower? I did just that. The dishes got atemporary reprieve from being scrubbed. But that didnt mean Ideclared them clean and didnt wash them later.

Aphiemi is the same Greek word translated as suffer or to allow in

Mark 10:14, where Jesus says Suffer (allow) the little children to comeunto Me.

Jesus, if He really did say Father forgive them used that wordaphiemi, which carries the connotation of restraining from punishment

rather than absolving from sin. In order to pay for our sins, Jesus asked

the Father to ALLOW (aphiemi) the abuse to continue. He was askingHis Father to refrain from zapping His murderers, not out of sweet

sentiment toward those wicked men, but because He had chosen tosuffer that terrible death for our sake.

Well-meaning Christians advise bullied school kids who cant escape totake abuse patiently, to ALLOW it to go on, and in that sense they apply

the aphiemiverb. But school kids arent called upon by God to suffer forthe sins of the world. Bullying is a profoundly evil and totally

destructive, damnable crime against a fellow human. NO good evercomes out of it! Christian counselors even advise battered wives to stay

with cruel husbands to glorify God by taking the abuse patiently.


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They say thats a Christlike way to react to physical attacks. But Jesuswas always able to escape from hostile crowds before the time came for

Him to die for our sins (Luke 4:28-30). There is no record of anyonephysically injuring Jesus before that time in His life. If Jesus had access

to supernatural protection before His passion, then why shouldnt we?

Are we greater than He is? To force a frightened child to stay in a sharkpool school for months or years is to suppress their God-given fight or

flight response to danger and expose them to a spirit of fear enteringtheir lives. Nothing is worse than feeling trapped and KNOWING youre

going to be hurt emotionally or physically, and its only a question of

how bad it will be that day.

Living in perpetual fear and danger keeps your adrenalin in overdriveand can lead to chemical imbalances in the body. Such prolonged fear

can give rise to various kinds of bodily illnesses and Post Traumatic

Stress Disorder, which fills that persons life with anxiety. Those whoinsist bullying is good for character development are endorsing the

TORTURE of children and jeopardizing their future well-being as adults.Any evil creeps who carry out a protracted campaign of abuse against a

vulnerable individual should be shipped off to jail, or at least expelledfrom school, not coddled with U.F.!

Before His passion, Jesus lamented over the city of Jerusalem becauseof its rejection of Him when He would have sheltered it from the wrath

to come. In Matt.23:34-39 He prophesied the citys destruction. Ibelieve that in the first few chapters of Acts, before the stoning of

Stephen, Christs murderers were given a final opportunity to repent(change their minds) and accept Christ. If theyd done so, Christ mighthave come back in that generation and the Romans would not have

been allowed to destroy Jerusalem in 70 A.D.

In the Parable of the Wicked Husbandmen (vineyard keepers) in

Matt.21:33-44 Jesus warns that the nation (Israel) that rejects Him andabuses His servants will have their city (Jerusalem) destroyed and God

will grind them to powder with His judgment. That doesnt sound likeU.F. to me.

Some commentators think that the offer of the Messianic Kingdom wasstill extended to the nation of Israel until Stephen was murdered. After

that, the Return of Christ and His thousand-year Reign was put on hold.Not only that, the doom of the city of Jerusalem was sealed. Shortly

after Stephens murder, God focused more on evangelizing the Gentiles,sending Philip to Samaria and Peter to the household of the Roman

centurion Cornelius.


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Proponents of U.F. cite Stephens example in praying that God would

not hold his murderers sin against them (Acts 7:60). Stephen, like hismurderers, were of the same nation, and had grown up in the Jewish

religion. Jews considered themselves part of a community, or extended

family. There would have been a feeling of ethnic kinship among them,more so than in a city of assorted Gentiles who had little in common.

Stephen may have thought theyd been blinded by the bad teaching ofthe Pharisees and brainwashed into betraying Jesus and hating His

disciples. In any event, even if God did forgive the murder of Stephen in

the sense of holding off on His judgment, it takes the precious blood ofJesus to wash away sin, and if those guys continued to reject Christ

after killing Stephen they would still land in hell. No one gets to heavenwithout coming to Christ, and if they try theyre a thief and a robber

(John 10:1).

I Cor.6:19 declares that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Ghost.

Like ferocious hunting dogs whod caught a helpless squirrel, thosebloodthirsty cowards ripped Stephen apart, knowing there were many of

them and one of him. Perhaps some of them were ignorant aboutStephens body being a temple of God. But many, many other Christians

were tortured and slaughtered by Christ-hating disciples of the wicked

Pharisees who DID know what they were doing. God is no pantywaistpacifist who lets things blow over without repentance.

Under the Old Covenant believers werent indwelt by the Holy Ghost as

we are today. Instead, Gods Holy Presence filled the Ark of theCovenant. One man got struck dead just for touching the Ark when itwas being transported by an oxcart and fell over. All the man wanted

was to protect Gods covenant box from being damaged, and hesuffered death for it (2 Sam.6:6-7). Dont tell me it doesnt matter what

sinners do to Christians. If God took offense from a human being

touching a gold-plated box, how much more must it anger Him whenbullies MALICIOUSLY attack one of his own dear children, in whom

dwells His own Holy Spirit!

I believe that because so many Christians (temples of the Holy Ghost)were destroyed by Christ-rejecting Jews, thats why God sent theRoman general Titus to destroy Jerusalem and its stone Temple in 70

A.D. That was His vengeance on that city which had murdered Christand martyred so many of His saints. As described in the Parable of the

Wicked Husbandmen, the Father of the Heir burnt up His murderers citywith fire.


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According to the Jewish historian Josephus, Titus himself wanted tospare the Temple, since the Romans usual policy was to accommodate

all gods and all religions in their Empire. They wanted to be seen astolerant of religious freedom, so long as the Emperor and the Roman

gods were likewise honored by the conquered populace. But his

soldiers got out of control. Not only did they loot the gold and treasuresout of the Jewish Temple, they burnt it to the ground. Some Christian

Jews believed Christs prophecy of Jerusalems imminent destruction(Luke 19:43-44) and fled before Gods wrath fell. But others werent so

lucky. Many died of starvation in the seige and the survivors were

carried away into slavery.

Throughout the Bible, especially the Old Testament, God exacts fearfulretribution for sin, even acts which wouldnt make a modern courtroom

judge blink an eye. A man got stoned to death for picking up sticks on

the Sabbath (Num.15:32-36). God said that the entire congregation wasto stone the man to death for picking up sticks! Im a firm believer in

law and order, but its hard for me to swallow that one. God enforcedthe penalty of breaking the Jewish Sabbath on that man, and arent you

glad we dont have to live under that same law today? Aside from thefact some of us are very forgetful and might accidentally wipe the table

on the Sabbath (Saturday), wed be committing a capital crime by

washing the car on that day, even of it was our only day off work!

Sometimes its hard to get your head around the fact that Jesus isntjust the gentle, tender-hearted Savior Who saved us from hell. Hes the

God of the Old Testament too (John 10:30). That means we have tobelieve Jesus is the same One Who ordered Moses to carry out thestoning penalty on that man who wasnt even being abusive toward his

neighbor when he was picking up those sticks!

Interestingly enough, Jesus refused to carry out the death penalty upon

the woman taken in adultery (John 8:4-11). Some scholars even debatewhether this particular incident is in ancient manuscripts. But if it is a

true story, Jesus showed up those wicked bloodthirsty men in the crowdthat they shouldnt be throwing stones until they cleaned up their own

act. There were also a few instances even back in the Old Testamentwhen God spared repentant saints the death penalty. Prime example:When David ordered Uriah the Hittite killed and stole his wife. David

was forgiven by God, but ONLY after he repented. Even then, Davidhad to reap a sad harvest of sorrow for the rest of his days.

God is merciful, much more so than any of us deserve. Yet He expects

repentance before He forgives. Jesus said if you dont repent youll


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perish (Luke 13:3,5). Only faith in Christ, Who suffered the penalty ofour sins, will bring forgiveness from God. We are one spirit with Christ (I

Cor.6:17). That desire to see justice done is not satanic, God put it deepinside of us. Justice is a vital facet of Gods nature. Without divine

justice this universe would be in complete chaos and the devil would win

hands-down. If the Christ in us cannot remit deliberate, vicious sinswithout repentance, then neither can we. If God didnt overlook some

man picking up sticks on the Sabbath, how can we brush off cruel, pre-calculated, prolonged abuse from those who do it because they fear no

retribution? In order to forgive an unrepentant sinner and absolve him

of the penalty of his sin (see John 20:23) you have to be softer-hearted(and less righteous) than God Who has never forgiven a single one of us

without repentance.

Some have told me Im bound to feel bitter if I dont forgive

UNCONDITIONALLY. But I dont feel bitter, I feel BETTER than I didwhen I was bound by that false doctrine and wondered whose side God

was on. I feel truly free now, free to know that God is still a just Godand He will deal justly with my old enemies. If anything, if it were left

up to my carnal nature, Id just say all that matters is the future andwhy not try to forgive those old ghosts of the past even if they never

heard about it, just so Id never have to think about it again. But all

along its been on GODS heart to settle the old account, and Hell do itin His own way and time. Satan might have his heyday for awhile, but

NOBODY hurts one of Gods children and gets by with it forever.

For so many years a part of me felt bound and uneasy about moderndoctrines like U.F. (and seed-faith prosperity theology) being pushedfrom the pulpit. If you couldnt swallow U.F. (and LIKE it!) you were

regarded as a backslider and in rebellion against God. I believeincalculable harm has been done to the Body of Christ by preachers

misrepresenting God and His Son as sweet softies who never get tough

with sinners. A vital truth: GOD IS LOVE (I John 4:8, 16) has beensubtly twisted to say God is ONLY love and He never gets mad at

anybody. Christians act embarrassed about the OTHER side of Godsnature: His necessary wrath upon the unrepentant. God is not some

milquetoast Ned Flanders who grins all the time and never gets upsetabout the evil in the world.

Christians are one spirit with Christ (I Cor.6:17). We have the mind ofChrist (I Cor.2:16). God dwells inside each of us as Christian believers,

and He dwells in us IN HIS FULNESS (I Cor.6:19; John 1:16). Not justthe nice part of His nature, but that part of Him that hates sin and

loves justice and righteousness. For other Christians to say Shame on


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you for wanting justice, thats a selfish sin, is to put down the Christ inyou Who is perfectly holy and promises to avenge His own elect (Luke

18:7; Rom.12:19).

I believe that denying the justice-loving part of Christ in you or

having it shamed and suppressed by other believers has caused muchneedless inner conflict and depression in the lives of Christian believers.

The mighty Lion of the Tribe of Judah has been turned into a feeblekitten too weak to utter a feeble protest against wickedness in the

world. All I know is, Jesus didnt hand out smiley face stickers to the

buyers and sellers in the Temple to show how much He loved them.

Christians who try to toe the party line of U.F. often have to hold theirnose while doing so because something smells fishy in Denmark. Many

have testified that when old feelings of wanting justice resurface they

have to forgive again and again and again. But something doesntcompute. Its like forcing yourself re-swallow rancid food after your

body keeps vomiting it up to protect itself from being poisoned. Its liketrying to force my computer to accept a program file which it finds

incompatible and keeps rejecting again and again. A God Who lovesmercy and hates justice? That aint the God of the Bible. If you refuse to

forgive a REPENTANT offender, thats one thing. But those uneasy,

queasy feelings about U.F. dont come from your selfish carnal nature.The Lord is trying to tell you something, even if its different from what

99% of church Christians have been taught.

Psalms 45:6: Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever: the sceptre of thykingdom is a right sceptre.7 Thou lovest righteousness, and hatest wickedness: therefore God, thy

God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

In case anyone thinks God changed his views in the NT, this verse is

repeated in the book of Hebrews:

Heb.1:8: But unto the Son he saith, Thy throne, O God, is for ever andever: a sceptre of righteousness is the sceptre of thy kingdom.

9 Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God,even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thyfellows.

Notice in Heb.1:8 that the SON (Jesus) is being addressed in this

passage. Not only does Christ love righteousness, he hates sin! Thishatred of sin doesnt make Jesus bitter. It fills Him with joy! And for


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those who question whether Jesus is God, verse 8 speaks of HIS (Gods)throne being eternal with a scepter of righteousness.

Psalms 149:5: Let the saints be joyful in glory: let them sing aloud upon

their beds.

6 Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a twoedged swordin their hand;

7 To execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon thepeople;

8 To bind their kings with chains, and their nobles with fetters of iron;

9 To execute upon them the judgment written: this honour have all hissaints. Praise ye the LORD.

Verse 9 says that this honor (of executing Gods judgment) belongs to

ALL Gods saints, and I dont see any expiration date on this passage

which says Church Age saints no longer have this privilege. As Paulteaches, we are not to take our own vengeance, nor are we to harbor

festering hatred toward any. The best we can do about the unrepentantis to turn them over to God, calmly trusting that He will do what is right

and good. Some say all vengeance is a sin. But the Bible makes itclear that vengeance WILL be taken by God on the unrepentant

(Rom.12:19). God is a just Judge, and those who will not let Him be

their Savior will have to face Him as their Judge. Its their choice.Unfortunately, all the cool crowd cares about is pleasing their friends,

and theyve got a macho image to protect.

When someone is bullied or otherwise abused, modern Christians rushto the defense of the guilty party and the first thing that comes out oftheir mouths is to tell the traumatized victim: Hurry! You must

forgive that person or God wont forgive you! Even if the victimswounds are still fresh and raw. Even if the offender is glad he made his

victim suffer, even if the offender is too wicked to repent. Seems like

the comfort of the sinner must always come before justice andrestoration of the victim. Even if that victim is dead because someone

elses abuse drove them to take their own life in order to escape when,overcome by pain and fear, they could see no other way out.

I call any bullying which ends in the death of the victim terminalbullying. Whether the victim dies as a deliberate result of physical

injuries directly inflicted by the bully or takes his/her own life becausethe bully chased their victim over the cliff of desperation, its the end of

the road for that poor tortured individual.


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The line between an eternally fatal sin and heroism can sometimes beblurred. I heard a story in church once. Back in the days of the Roman

Empire, some Christian slave girls were about to be sold into awhorehouse. These godly girls realized this could have destroyed them

spiritually as well as morally (I Cor.6:15-19). Rather than go through

such a damning experience, they jumped off a high cliff to escape. Didthose poor scared girls go to hell for protecting their own chastity?

Somehow I doubt it.

One of the most unforgettable novel scenes Ive read was the flight of

Eliza in Uncle Toms Cabin. Eliza is a slave who belongs to a kind familywho has been very good to her. But her master has fallen on hard

times because hes made some bad investments. His creditor threatensto take everything he has unless he coughs up the cash. Elizas master

has been pressured into selling Uncle Tom. And Elizas little four-year-

old son, Harry. Eliza finds out about it in the nick of time. She has nohusband to lean on because he has just fled his own cruel master to

head north to the free states. She has no one to lean on but herself andGod.

Harriet Beecher Stowe, author of the book, writes a bold story but to

stay within the boundaries of good taste 19th-century style, doesnt

quite spell out what she means by Harry being in danger of moral andspiritual ruin by being sold downriver (probably in New Orleans). Harry

is a good-looking child, and good looks bring nothing but trouble toslaves. Harry would probably be abused by perverts in order to bring

financial gain to his new master. Eliza has been raised as a Christianand would rather die than see the ruin of her childs soul.

Terrified, Eliza steals away in the night and flees on foot to reach theOhio River. If she crosses it shell leave the slave state Kentucky and

enter Ohio, a free state. Eliza looks white, and so does her child. So

she is able to stop at a tavern to rest once she reaches the river,without raising suspicion. But the river itself prevents an easy escape.

No one can ferry her across because its packed with broken ice. So sheintends to wait till evening, when, she is told, some man might be

running a load of freight across. But Eliza spots her pursuers outsideher window. She picks up her sleeping child and flees out a side doorwhich faces the river, which is churning and bobbing with broken ice

floes. Ahead of her lies uncertainty and danger. Behind her is the slavecatcher, full of fury and eager to sell her tiny innocent son, most likely

to pimps in New Orleans.


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Eliza has no choice. She must either brave the river or her child isdoomed. Unfathomable fear propels Elizas flying feet out onto the

bobbing, freezing ice cakes. With superhuman agility and strength, allthe while carrying her child, Eliza springs from one ice cake to the next,

on and on till she reaches the Ohio shore. As if in a dream, she finds

herself being pulled up the bank by a sympathetic bystander. Eliza andHarry start on the long road to freedom. Later when asked by a

sympathetic white woman why she attempted such a dangerous stunt,Eliza says the same thing as her equally desperate husband who flees

his own sadistic master: If they hadnt succeeded in escaping, the worst

that could have happened to them was to die.

Some might object that Eliza risked her own life and that of her child tocross the river, and the odds of their surviving were so miniscule it

amounted to a suicide attempt. Some might say the Christian girls who

jumped off the cliff were absolutely guilty of suicide, unforgivable byGod who makes no exceptions. Each case was a desperate attempt to

flee a fate worse than death, a situation imposed on them by inhumaneoppressors.

And what about Samson, who brought down the Temple of Dagon, not

just upon his enemies, but upon himself? Samson is listed in the Faith

Heroes Hall of Fame (Heb.11:32).

When I was a teenager, I knew what it was like to feel driven to mypersonal river of desperation by oppressors. Hopelessness before me,

bullies behind me. May God have mercy on all those who are sotormented they fear life more than death. May the just Judge of all theearth call all such oppressors to account one day. He has promised to

put an end to evildoers who refuse to put an end to their evildoing.

Psalms 34:16: The face of the LORD is against them that do evil, to cut

off the remembrance of them from the earth.

Psalms 109:15: Let them be before the LORD continually, that he maycut off the memory of them from the earth.

Psalms 37:9: For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon theLORD, they shall inherit the earth.Verse 28: For the LORD loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints;they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.

10 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt

diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.


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Psalms 143:12: And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all

them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.

These are prayers and meditations of David. He was a righteous man

and I expect to meet him in heaven someday.

When bullying results in suicide, in the final analysis its the bullys fault

the victim dies. One of the tactics used by Plains Indians in buffalo

hunting was to chase the buffalo herd over the edge of a cliff so thebeasts would be weakened and easier to kill. The Indians did not even

have to touch the buffalo to cause its death through falling. All they hadto do was frighten the creatures, who were so overpowered by fear they

didnt know there was a sheer drop just ahead. But the Indians still

killed the buffalo because they knew what the consequences of scaringit over the cliff would be. At least the Indians had the excuse of needing

the buffalo for food.

But bullies kill just for the hell of it. They put a spirit of fear on theirvictims. They rip the self-esteem and peace of their victims to shreds.

They turn happy, contented kids into frightened deer hiding from the

hunter. Bullies KNOW theyre worrying their victim so much that fearovercomes all rational thought. And because the victim looks or acts

scared, theyre accused of being crazy, by students and sometimes byteachers. All the victim wants is to flee their abuse any way he/she can.

Forced by parents and authorities to stay in a torture chamber school,there IS no escape. Faced with the prospect of being severelyhumiliated or beaten up yet another day while authority figures make

excuses for the perpetrators or pretend not to notice, the poor bulliedkid may see no other way out but death.


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At one Bible study the leader asked everyone to name something that

had made them mad. I said I remember being mad about being bulliedin school, and you guessed it! He asked Did you forgive them? I

ended up saying Im no better than God, Who only forgave me after I

repented. Furthermore I said the bullies almost drove me to suicide,and what if Id gone to hell for it? The man looked at me like I was

talking Greek. It didnt register. All he did was stonewall away mypoint. Ever notice that when someone who holds an opposing opinion

cant answer your argument, theyll just ignore your question and go

back to square one to try to wear you down, even when their scripturalsupport is absent or very shaky?

No matter what youve gotta forgive them, that man insisted as he

dodged the deeper issues and trivialized old wrongs that were never

made right. That begs still another question. What if the bullies haddriven me all the way to hell and I did try to forgive them, even there?

Would God have let me out of hell as a reward?

Lazarus, the poor beggar of Luke 16, endured a miserable life on earth:poverty, hunger, friendlessness, homelessness, sickness. But at least

the tables were turned after he died and he went to a better place.

People who commit suicide because other peoples abuse drove them toit, what hope do they have for a better afterlife if God will condemn

them to hell for murdering themselves? Its debatable whether even a


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Christian can be forgiven by God if they get so depressed byoverwhelming problems that they take their own life.

Christians dodge difficult questions, and in so doing, they fail (or refuse)

to see sin as the horribly destructive evil it is. That would shoot even

more holes in their favorite U.F. sacred cow. If you admit that youbelieve only in CONDITIONAL forgiveness based on true repentance,

some judgmental Christian will jump on that and say you dont believein forgiveness AT ALL. Thats just as ridiculous as saying that a woman

who didnt pay some plumber who refused to fix her sink didnt believe

in paying her bills!

While you can set the offense on the back burner, turn them over toGod and harbor no malice, true forgiveness in the sense of absolving

the abuser of the offense is a two-way transaction, contingent upon

repentance. Jesus said in Luke 17:3 IF THY BROTHER repent, forgivehim. If Jesus put a condition on forgiving a brother (fellow believer),

why would He expect you to treat one of satans people any better? Anevil unrepentant bully is a criminal, and no brother of mine. I do not

have to forgive an unrepentant bully (CRIMINAL), and some sinners areso evil God may not even lead you to pray for them, knowing they are

so given over to evil and hardened in their sins that they are beyond all

hope of salvation (I John 5:16). Even then, only God knows for sure andHe judges on a case-by-case basis.

Well-meaning Christians do bullying victims no favor by telling them

that unless they forgive even the most vicious, dangerous unrepentantbullies (criminals) God wont forgive the victim and theyll go to hell.The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Matt. 18 is used as a shaky

support for unconditional forgiveness of the unrepentant. Those whopressure victims of crime to immediately and totally forgive their

assailants or else go to hell ignore most of the context and zero in on on

verses 34-35 where the Lord of the servants delivers the Unmercifulservant over to the tormentors (satan and his demons). But lets look at

the facts about this parable:

1. This parable was prompted by a question Peter had aboutforgiving a BROTHER. Unrepentant men of violence are NOT mybrother. Theyre children of a different daddy, satan (John 8:44;

I John 3:10).2. The fellow servant was just that, a fellow servant. That evil thug

on the street is not a fellow servant of mine because he serves adifferent master, the devil.

3. The fellow servant ASKED for forgiveness.


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4. It wasnt a malicious, violent crime the Unforgiven Servantcommitted against the Unmerciful Servant, simply inability to pay

back a money debt. Even if it had been a moral offense ratherthan a monetary debt, the offense should have been forgiven

after being repented of. REPENTANCE is the key to being

forgiven. Repentance was preached by John the Baptist, byJesus, the prophets, and the New Testament apostles. But this

vital doctrine is being neglected in favor of GodsUNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE OF ALL MEN, some of

the deadiest, most deceitful heresies satan has sneaked into the

latter-day church. And WHY are they so deceitful? Because itseems like a very loving thing to do, to grant everyone under the

sun UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND FORGIVNESS without theirhaving to FIRST repent! In fact, thats the LEAST loving thing you

can do to an offender, to mislead him into thinking there is no

need to repent in order to be accepted by God and go to heaven.That person could land in hell because you killed his hopes of

salvation with so-called kindness.

Forced, contrived love or forgiveness which is done solely to avoidgoing to hell isnt much different from having a rapist hold a knife to

your throat to force love out of you. Forcing empty professions of

love or forgiveness out of someone elses wounded soul throughthreats is not the way God operates. If a sinner or backslider were to

use that parable to DEMAND instant forgiveness out of a frightenedChristian, it would be like an attacker ripping a beautiful garment off a

woman with his filthy hands. Thats a further act of violence against aninjured soul. Such forgiveness becomes a soiled, torn, wretched thinginstead of a gift of grace. Jesus said for us not to throw our holy things

and our pearls before dogs and swine, and He wasnt talking aboutSnoopy and Porky Pig (Matt.7:6). Christian love and forgiveness are

spiritual treasures, and unrepentant criminals are NOT entitled to

demand them from a child of God! God doesnt force us to treatunrepentant bullies and criminals better than members of His own

family, who are expected to repent whenever they louse up.

Some maintain that passive submission to prolonged abuse is a vitalpart of discipleship. But Jesus instructed His disciples to FLEE toanother place if they were persecuted (Matt.10:23). Can a bullied child

flee? So much for school always being an ideal mission field! Littlechildren and helpless teenagers are forbidden to flee their persecutors

at school, and if they do they get into big trouble with the law fortruancy. Bullied kids get caught between a rock and a hard place, and


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the results are tragic. Pearls are very precious and beautiful. But theyare not hard as iron, and can be easily crushed.

Did Jesus Himself submit to all the abuse His persecutors decided to

heap on Him? Not until the time came for Him to pay for our sins by

dying on the Cross. Up until that period in His life, Jesus rebuked thosewho insulted Him and told them where they were going. Lets examine

a few passages.

John 8:39 They answered and said unto him, Abraham is our father.

Jesus saith unto them, If ye were Abraham's children, ye would do theworks of Abraham.

40 But now ye seek to kill me, a man that hath told you the truth, whichI have heard of God: this did not Abraham.

41 Ye do the deeds of your father. Then said they to him, We be not

born of fornication; we have one Father, even God.42 Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me:

for I proceeded forth and came from God; neither came I of myself, buthe sent me.

43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hearmy word.

44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will

do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth,because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh

of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.45 And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.

46 Which of you convinceth me of sin? And if I say the truth, why do yenot believe me?

47 He that is of God heareth God's words: ye therefore hear them not,because ye are not of God.

48 Then answered the Jews, and said unto him, Say we not well that

thou art a Samaritan, and hast a devil?49 Jesus answered, I have not a devil; but I honour my Father, and ye

do dishonour me.50 And I seek not mine own glory: there is one that seeketh and

judgeth.

51 Verily, verily, I say unto you, If a man keep my saying, he shall

never see death.52 Then said the Jews unto him, Now we know that thou hast a devil.

Abraham is dead, and the prophets; and thou sayest, If a man keep mysaying, he shall never taste of death.

53 Art thou greater than our father Abraham, which is dead? and the


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prophets are dead: whom makest thou thyself?54 Jesus answered, If I honour myself, my honour is nothing: it is my

Father that honoureth me; of whom ye say, that he is your God:55 Yet ye have not known him; but I know him: and if I should say, I

know him not, I shall be a liar like unto you: but I know him, and keep

his saying.56 Your father Abraham rejoiced to see my day: and he saw it, and was

glad.57 Then said the Jews unto him, Thou art not yet fifty years old, and

hast thou seen Abraham?

58 Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abrahamwas, I am.

59 Then took they up stones to cast at him: but Jesus hid himself, andwent out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed

by.

In verse 41 he hostile Jews accused Jesus of being illegitimate. In verse

48 they accused Him of being a demon-possessed Samaritan.Samaritans were the picked-on rejected outcast race in Jesus society.

His Jewish persecutors bragged that Abraham was their father, butJesus said their father was the devil. Jesus didnt just stand there and

take any abuse that crowd decided to dish out. JESUS HID HIMSELF

when the crowd picked up stones to cast at Him, and managed toescape. In Luke 24:28-30 Jesus escaped another hostile crowd that

wanted to throw Him over a cliff. Again, He got away, unharmed. Howmany persecuted children are told to quit whining about the bullies and

take it like a man? How many Christian kids are told by well-meaningparents that they have to suffer all the abuse the devils crowd decidesto dump on them because this is being Christlike or suffering for the

glory of God?

Remember, JESUS HID HIMSELF AND ESCAPED UNHURT! Unless God

has called you suffer painful persecution for Jesus, you should expect todo the same thing, and expect that your own precious child also has the

right to Gods protection. But how can God protect your child whenadults who hold authority over him/her wont cooperate and provide a

safe learning environment at school, or alternative education in thehome? Jesus hid. But where can bullied children hide?

How can ONE defenseless child get away from a mob of bullies whowant to rearrange his face and put him in the hospital? If submitting to

abuse is a qualification of Christian discipleship, why didnt JesusHimself do this before it was time for Him to die for our sins? Are we,

His disciples, to be better than He was? Are WE sent by God to pay for


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other peoples sins through our suffering? Nonsense! Herod and evilreligious leaders tried to kill Christ, but God always made a way of

escape for Him. God even promises a way of escape for us when wehave reached the limits of our endurance (I Cor.10:13). There is NO

record of Jesus being tortured by sinners until His Fathers chosen time

came for Him to submit to their abuse to purchase our salvation.

If, before that time, Jesus had always managed to escape from violentsinners, then how can Christians justify forcing defenseless children to

suffer physical and emotional harm at school year after year, with NO

way out? Such children languish in a pressure cooker hell for weeks,months, even years on end because indifferent adults FORCE them to

suffer and FORBID them to be safe from criminal bullies. Such adultsare BULLY ENABLERS who aid and abet satan in his evil ministry of

steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). People who tolerate evil

perpetrated upon defenseless kids arent toughening them up.Theyre destroying their kids emotionally, psychologically, maybe even

endangering their lives. If some adult went to work and shouted racialabuse at a co-worker or destroyed their personal property, or fired

sharp pencils at them, that joker would probably end up in jail,especially if there were witnesses or he was caught on camera. So why

is it okay for kids to commit the same acts of verbal abuse and assault

which would land grownups in trouble with the law? And why doChristians expect their abused loved ones to bend their backside to a

devil who kicks them all the way to the Cliff of Destruction?


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Jesus wasnt ashamed to teach repentance like He meant it. Heindicated that godly people and unrepentant sinners were to be treated

differently. He said unrepentant Christians were to be shunned andtreated like sinners (Matt.18:17). Because the love of Jesus is in our

heart, we love our brethren and want to forgive them IN RESPONSE TO

REPENTANCE because Christ lives in them and theyre our brothers andsisters in the faith.

Its a deadly serious crime against humanity to drive a person to their

grave through cruelty and abuse. Christians stand on the sidelines with

their hands tied and just watch.

Rhonda begins life as a loving, smiling baby, who brings happiness toher friends and family. Oh, she goes through her terrible twos just

like most other kids, but before she starts school Rhonda is content with

simple pleasures of life. A piece of candy, a hug, drawing pictures forher parents who dote on her. Rhonda feels joy and wonderment in the

sight of a new litter of puppies or the sweet singing of the birds.Rhonda enjoys learning and asking questions. Rhonda loves to meet

people who come to the house to visit her parents. In short, Rhonda is avery happy little girl who loves life.

Rhonda doesnt fare too badly in elementary school. But shortly afterstarting junior high, her dad gets sick and loses his job. Rhondas

mother cannot work because she has two small children to care for athome, and cant afford day care. And someone has to nurse Rhondas

sick dad. So money is very tight. At the vulnerable age of twelveRhonda must buy most of her clothes at the thrift shop, including hershoes. Rhonda cant have all the electronic toys and C.D.s her

classmates prize. She cant go out with them to fun parks unlesssomebody treats her. One day the pebble gets thrown into the pond.

A rather timid classmate has mentioned to Rhonda that she ought tocome to Christ. But Rhonda doesnt really understand. Shes like green

fruit not yet ripe enough to be harvested by a soul winner. Rhondaneeds more time to think it over. Right after that encounter, a

classmate makes fun of Rhondas second-hand winter coat. The bullycalls Rhonda a smelly rag bag. Remembering how much her parentshad to sacrifice to buy her that second-hand coat, Rhonda doesnt take

the taunt quietly. Before long the follow-the-leader circle of bullieszeroing in on Rhonda widens. Rhonda resents it, and the madder she

gets, the meaner the bullies get.


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Rhonda complains to her parents, who tell her to stand up for herselfand quit being a crybaby. Her teachers try to humor her into rising

above the abuse. Finally a boy stomps on Rhondas toes while a girlgrabs Rhondas books and throws them across the street. Rhonda rants

her against any god who would let all this bad stuff happen to her. The

student who witnessed to Rhonda pleads with her to just be morepatient and understanding toward the bullies, and try to look for good in

them, because theres good in all people, even the worst of them.Rhonda ought to just be meek and turn the other cheek. Her Christian

classmate doesnt want to go out on a limb and say that God is able to

fight on Rhondas behalf against the devil oppressing her. So Rhonda isadvised not to get bent out of shape about the abuse because after she

dies a better life will be hers if only she will trust Christ for salvation.The well-meaning churchgoer, who has been raised to believe this, says

God helps those who help themselves, and miracles are done away

with. Besides, God is way up there in heaven, so He really cant domuch about making Rhondas life any better. So Rhonda isnt much

impressed by what her church friend has to offer. In her most miserablemoments she yells at God and swears that she hates Him for letting

others hurt her.

One day a boy tells Rhonda that she ought to put herself out of her own

misery because shell always be nothing but poor Ragbag Rhonda. Soguess what Rhonda does? Rhonda helps herself in the only way she

knows how. This green fruit never had a chance to ripen so it could beharvested into the Kingdom of God. The human spirit is resilient but

even the bravest, most determined bounce-back personality willeventually crumble if enough pressure is put on it by enough bullies forenough time, which could mean weeks, months or even years. Just like

the most muscular weight lifter can be broken to pieces if enough brickshit him with enough force for enough time, an innocent soul can be

forever shattered by prolonged severe abuse.

Swept away in a flood of gut-wrenching, mind-numbing fear, Rhonda

takes that evil scumbags adviceand a bottle of pain killers washeddown with alcohol. Of course her death makes the news for a day or

two and the school cries crocodile tears, pretending to be scandalizedthat it could ever happen here. All the teachers blame Rhonda forbeing a misfit who should have had a thicker hide and tried to build

bridges with the bullies to turn them into friends. After all, theyre onlykids who were kidding around. But even if the teachers never saw all

Rhondas physical bruises, what gives people the notion that emotionalbruises are imaginary and unreal? The principal pontificates on the

need to learn lessons from this tragedy so well be able to move on


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from here. But any lessons learned will soon be forgotten as Rhondastormentors pat themselves on the back for a job well done and go look

for someone else to hound to their grave. Mission accomplished.

What is the end result of this sick scenario? Victim or bully, any person

who rejects Christ and hates God ends up in hell. If God had beenglorified as being a great Deliverer (2 Sam.22:2; Psalms 18:2), Rhonda

might have lived to accept Christ and find peace with Him. But herprobationary period on earth was cut drastically short by evil bullies,

and particularly the nasty boy who advised her to commit suicide. Think

of it. Rhonda might have met a wonderful Christian man someday andraised a family who grew up to love her. Children who would have given

birth to succeeding generations of people who might have brought gloryto Gods name and brought joy to His heart. But oh, no, God was

robbed of all that by bullies! Bullies who not only killed Rhondas body

but pushed her poor soul into a deeper hell.

What if Rhondas grieving mother later learned what the Bible teachesabout salvation and hell? What if she wondered where Rhonda went

after that wicked classmate drove her to her own grave? What wouldshe say to well-meaning Christians who told her she was obligated to

forgive the unrepentant bullies who denied her child the opportunity to

live longer and have more of a chance to accept Christ? If she forgavethose evil people, would God reward her by giving her own dead child a

second chance to receive Christ? If poor Rhonda, while languishingdown below, magnanimously forgave and prayed for her tormentors,

would God reward her kindness by taking her soul out of hell?

Tough questions, but they only underscore the urgency for more action

to be taken to combat bullying in schools and everywhere else ithappens. Bullying is a health and safety violation and might be

prosecuted as such by parents of bullied kids. That is IS a health and

safety violation is very clear to the bruised, traumatized victim, and it isreally evident on school buses, where the driver might be distracted by

all the loud noises and commotion made by belligerent, screamingbullies. Not only is the bullying victims health and safety being

affected, but a wreck could be caused by the driver losing control whenhe gets splattered by a can of soda thrown by one of the bullies. Themost serious bullying offenders need to be expelled from public schools

and workplaces, and banned from riding school buses. Tiny little kidsget expelled for bringing politically incorrect toys to their first grade

class. So why do malicious, violent teenagers get to keep on coming toschool to do REAL harm?


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Bullying will go on and on and on until all schools (and workplaces)adopt a ZERO tolerance policy toward bullying and enforce strict

penalties. Maybe a three strikes and youre out policy should beimplemented, or even expulsion for a first offense which results in

serious injury. Furthermore, any teachers who are KNOWN to side with

the bullies and join in tormenting vulnerable pupils should be sackedand have their pension cut for violating someone elses human rights,

for aiding and abetting disorderly conduct on the job, and for helpingcreate a health and safety violation. At least, thats the way I see it.

Terminal bullying has everlasting consequences, not just temporaryones. The wonder is that its still possible for God to forgive bullies who

drive others into a Christless eternity. The miracle is that God wouldallow such people into the very heaven they denied their victims!

God may be merciful but He is not mocked.

http://waronbullying.tripod.comhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAF5927wLHU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbmS5TPT6t0
http://waronbullying.tripod.com/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAF5927wLHUhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbmS5TPT6t0http://waronbullying.tripod.com/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAF5927wLHUhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbmS5TPT6t0

terminal bullying and unconditional forgiveness

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