THANK YOU for subscribing to receive me future updates.

I hope you enjoy the chapter on Caring. I chose this theme to share specifically for several reasons:

It resulted from unexpected feedback from the leaders I interviewed- they almost all said caring was critical. In particular, when I asked Allan Moss, former CEO of Macquarie Bank to tell me the most enduring feature of a great leader. His response was ‘�ey CARE’. He wasn’t the only leader who genuinely spoke about the importance of caring. �is was a revelation and a joy for me.

�e second surprise was how closely the comments about the nature of caring echoed the role of parent. �is wasn’t just about the ‘soft’ side of caring. Leaders spoke about the need to take hard decisions and have the difficult discussions. �ey talked both about dealing with those who were not treating others well and those who were not a good fit, but were still good people. �eir advice plus my experience has enabled me to provide both excellent questions and useful examples for those keen to show they care and unsure how to do it.

My book Mistakes Happen - Make the Most of �em, includes excerpts from interviews with leaders who have inspired others. I am re-releasing the book in January 2019.

We currently have a limited number of the original �rst edition of the softcover book available for purchase at a 20% discounted price. If you would like to purchase one of these editions please click here.

https://www.margaretwright.com.au/

�ü

‘Good performance and integrity go hand in hand. Unless you combine the two, eventually you won’t survive.’

Michael Chaney, Chairman, NAB and the Business Council of Australia and CEO of Wesfarmers

���ü

Apart from murder, selfishness always seemed to me to be the greatest sin. Every brand of Protestant we tried when I was a kid sang the same hymn: ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. The occasional welt on my leg reminded me that, daydreaming, I had forgotten to think of others. If I wanted to go to heaven, treating others with dignity, respect and kindness seemed the most likely way to get there.

To me, caring was about putting others before myself; in particular, helping those less fortunate or able. There were many less privileged than I was but I had no idea how they felt until my twenties. An operation on my tongue left it swollen, making me sounded deranged. While in an art shop to buy paints, my ‘No thanks, I’m just looking’ was unintelligible to the assistant. Transformed in her eyes from ‘customer’ to ‘shoplifter’ in one incomprehensible sentence, I was followed from a safe distance until I had paid for my goods. In that moment, I understood the feeling of being beneath someone’s consideration. It’s not a pleasant place to be.

As a young man, before becoming legendary, Elvis Presley eyed up a purple Cadillac convertible at a local car dealer. When the haughty salesman ignored him, the King spoke to a black guy cleaning cars outside. He returned and asked to speak to the manager. ‘I’ll have that purple Cadillac. Here is the cash. Pay all the commission to that gentleman outside.’ Through the salesman’s lens, this ‘young spiv’ had been unlikely to buy and not worth wasting his time on. That lens probably worked most of the time. However, looks deceive. Not every scruffy person is a tramp and many who look wealthy have maximised their credit limit.

I can’t pretend my principles as a child put me above slavery to fashion. My Barbies were the best dressed in the street. I spent hours creating their couture outfits for them and later, with more confidence, my own. I branched out, sewing shirts for my first serious boyfriend Luigi

Caring

Act With heart

���ü

and soon graduating to a sweeping hand-woven tweed coat. I don’t sew now, but haven’t lost my interest in each new season’s styles. Fashions come and go over the years. The best fads are often inspired by those simply being themselves: street people, explorers, pirates and construction workers. Early followers pick up the look enthusiastically until soon everyone wants it. As fashion hits the high street, suddenly the world is full of cheap imitations. Like fashion, big business also has its trends. Academics and business gurus pick up a theme that obviously works, and within a few years, it is everywhere: activity-based costing, total quality management, leaders as heroes and so on. Such ideas began in companies with leaders who believed in what they were doing, were committed to it and became successful as a result. Caring is no different. In �00� when I was still at Macquarie Bank I asked Allan Moss to name the most enduring quality of a good leader. I was trying to gain an insight into what a leader whose �000-plus people scored him off the chart for leadership did differently from others. His response stunned me: ‘They CARE.’ Was this man really the top gun in an industry known more for big wallets than big hearts?

‘It’s the people, stupid.’ Gordon Cairns

I interviewed many other CEOs who double as great bosses and their answers were consistent. If Gordon Cairns could take away only one lesson from his executive life, it would be: ‘A leader must care about their people.’ Mike Hawker recalled his days captaining Australia in rugby: ‘A leader must care about their people more than themselves.’ Each of these people has achieved enviable results. Their success and that of others has spawned a slew of imitators. Caring has become the new black — the business fad of the decade. Business coaches and HR professionals urge bosses to ‘get in touch with their heart and soul’. Leaders engage the media with stories of their humanity. It’s not restricted to business. Celebrities sew their hearts to their sleeves to match the passions tattooed on their arms. This should be good news. Everyone is trying it on.

SO WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?Like lime neon leopard print, unless it’s ‘you’, caring is hard to carry off. Pretending to care is less attractive than not caring at all. It is not only hypocrisy; most people see through it. Like David Morgan,

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

sympathetic CEOs concur. ‘When people aren’t genuine or don’t care, those below them can see it. It is not enough to dazzle the board, the market and the press. You must respect the well-being of the average person.’

Those who see caring as a passing fad are happy to stay as they are. They don’t care and they don’t care who knows it. David Morgan doesn’t believe such cynics make good leaders. ‘They have too much contempt for other people. I have seen brilliant senior people who seemed to have all the right attributes — urbane, intelligent and capable, good at solving problems and getting things done — yet they were cold, aloof and didn’t care. They were honest and upfront about it, but just didn’t care about people.’

As we move up the ladder of life, business and politics, many lose touch with where they came from. Don Chipp, former leader of the Australian Democrats, sadly reflected on other political leaders who became so caught up in themselves, they ‘forgot about the little bloke’. One of the greatest corporate travesties is when CEOs live it up while sacking workers and cutting wages. As Jeff Rodek asked his team when they planned a slap-up dinner to discuss a round of retrenchments, ‘How can executives do this under these circumstances? What sort of message does that send to our people?’

For many, it doesn’t seem to matter. Obsequious up and obnoxious down, they just keep climbing. However, as Don Chipp also observed, ‘When you forget about the little bloke, eventually he forgets about you.’ In the end, caring cuts both ways.

WHAT DOES GOOD CARING LOOK LIKE?

Everyone has his or her own view of what ‘caring’ means. We all care to different extents and for different people. It depends which hat we are wearing at the time.

Black is the easy option when you don’t know what to wear. It covers most bases in the caring style guide. Caring is simple when we buy raffle tickets to help the disadvantaged or attend charity auctions to buy yet another signed rugby jumper. Our hands and wallets are engaged, but are our hearts? Though black is easy, it sometimes means we haven’t given the occasion much thought. Caring at the most profound level means being able to not only wear

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

another’s clothes easily, but also live a slice of their life. It’s not just driving through the neighbourhood, but popping in for a meal. It is truly experiencing how the other half lives. As a child in India, Roy Singham saw children with no limbs being put out to beg in the street. After his parents explained that they probably hadn’t been born that way, that one child might be sacrificed to help the rest of the family survive, he was aghast. ‘But for an accident of birth, that could have been me. I resolved from that day to become a social and political activist.’ It is about wanting the best for others. Christine Nixon’s aspirations for her new team when she took over Victoria Police were for her people to believe in themselves. ‘I wanted them to stop saying “It’s too big, it’s not possible, and I am not smart enough”. I wanted everyone to believe they could contribute: that they mattered as individuals. I wanted them to feel heard and valued. I wanted them to think differently about their work; to understand that Victoria Police provides a client role. I wanted them to be confident and know their job.’Greg Loveday of Macquarie Bank took an even broader perspective. ‘I have more than ��0 lives to look after: not just the people who work for me, but their partners, their children, their close relationships. My business affects thousands of people. Being a leader is not just about controlling a business. It is about the effect on the community. Any one problem pales into insignificance compared to that.’

‘People are number one for me.’ Ron Rowland, former CEO, API

HOW DO WE GET IT WRONG?

We’re inconsistent, absolutely

Lack of congruence, the values mistake, is the first big blunder. In the caring stakes, it is almost unforgivable to make big promises and not deliver on them. If we do this continually, it is clear we were ambivalent in the first place. When my internal clients promised slap-up dinners for beating our targets or getting a project in on time and then kept cancelling, they lost my team’s trust and respect. Staff prefer immediate gratification — a quick glass of champagne after work, a personal thank you or the afternoon off — than a ticket for a million dollar lottery, with the same odds. Instead of making empty promises, we might as well traverse the office with a sandwich board screaming ‘I’m a hypocrite.’

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

it is, but it’s not always easy

It is easy to become caught up, forget our promises or run out of time. We may think we are delivering on our word when we are not. My personal assistants were protective of my time, knowing how important my clients were. What I did not realise, until my ��0-degree feedback, is that they would move meetings with staff to make room for client requirements. I was inadvertently telling my staff they did not matter.

Delivering may not be enough on its own. Our first major employee survey had my partners and me scurrying to fix the problems. In the midst of this, we heard staff rumblings. They believed we had ignored their feedback. Busy fixing what we saw as the problems, we had not told them what we were doing or asked for their opinion.

We care selectively

We all care about someone or something. It is difficult to care for everyone, and some people are easier to care about than others. Some demand more time. Different people matter more at different times. It is hard to get the balance right.

Like essence, we either don’t know what we have or don’t appreciate its value until we lose it. When my niece Kelly started her last job, people raved about her being ‘so much better than anyone who has done this job before!’ Six months later, she asked me, ‘What am I doing wrong? They don’t say I’m doing a great job any more.’ When she went to ask them how she was going, she was pleased (and surprised) to find they were still happy with her. They just hadn’t said so.

We forget to say we care

We think other people should know how we feel. But life moves fast. Many don’t have time to chat or build relationships. Downsized and under pressure, we focus on the timetable and whether we are on track rather than if the passengers are still on the train. When opportunities arise, we take them. Forward is the only direction; overdrive the only speed. We forget to tell people where they fit in and why they matter. Sadly, it is not just at work. How often do we forget to tell people we love them?

We often miss what matters

We meet someone again and don’t remember their name or their face.

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

We have all done it. Allan Moss was vocal: ‘People can remember football scores, but not people’s names. Which is more important?’ Workers on a construction site idolised the CFO of a large Australian client because he remembered that a builder’s wife had been sick during his last visit and asked after her the next time he was on site.

The art of the genuine compliment has largely been lost. Many people are uncomfortable telling others what they like about them, or just do not know how. For others, compliments are beautifully disguised bait, with a hook attached.

Where do we start?

Most of us have at least one gift disaster in the cupboard. I don’t know whether Luigi loved everything I made him; he certainly wore the big tweed coat to death. But when we assume other people like what we like, we often get it wrong. I shop for clothes alone these days. When I went with friends, they would convince me to buy what they loved but couldn’t wear themselves. It looked great in the store, but usually ended up in my wardrobe for a year or so, after which I gave it away. It may have looked good, but I didn’t feel comfortable wearing it. It just wasn’t me.

i am only doing my job

We have only so much to go around. Others are paid more than us and get more privileges. Perhaps we aren’t being given the resources we need or our boss skives off. We wonder why we should bother, forgetting how it feels to be a customer or staff member on the other side of our lack of caring.

When communication breaks down, everything breaks

As business grows larger and more complex, our lips move more but we say less that matters. Communications training is de rigueur to learn how to introduce our ideas and influence others. While we present proposals in snazzy PowerPoints, we fall short in the key conversations that glue business relationships together.

Open plan floors and the communications revolution (technologies like email and mobile phones) were designed to break down office walls. For many emails are the new slingshot, and just as deadly. We use the rocks to build walls around our hearts, not bridges between them.

CaRinG CaRinG

People can remember football

scores, but not people’s

names. Which is more

important?

���ü

Caring is not for pussy cats

It is easy to avoid the honest discussions. Yet we cannot assume people know our thoughts unless we express them clearly. Meaning gets lost most when we discuss people’s performance. Traditional managers claim that ‘Anyone with half a brain knows how their performance rates.’ Yet few really know how they are doing. Formal appraisals with lists of skills and sanitised ratings make it easy to confuse what really matters. Reviewers are often reluctant to be honest about issues. Between reviews, people get little specific or useful feedback. Confident people assume the best. Worriers become paranoid. Breast surgeon Paul Crea has the unenviable job of telling women they have cancer. His saddest conversations are with women who ignored the symptoms until it was too late. Similarly, many poor performers suspect a problem but, like those with cancer symptoms, they hope the problem will go away if they ignore it. Equally, those around them are uncomfortable about mentioning poor performance. It is easier to avoid them and the subject.

Bad often only gets worse

As performance deteriorates, peers and superiors trust staff less. Managers leave problem staff on the bench or give them low risk, nothing jobs. This strains the whole team, who resent picking up the load when they are not being paid to manage. Jane Rowe, the story of whose charity, Mirabel, made grown men cry at Macquarie Bank (a place not known for soft touches), maintained, ‘If someone keeps screwing up, you have to tell them. If they can’t fix it, you must fire them — it’s not fair on the rest of the team otherwise.’ Managers who care about the whole team must make hard decisions about individuals; few like to have those difficult conversations or are good at them. Sympathetic managers worry about the impact on the person’s family and future career. Others are not sure how to approach the discussion or worry they will look like the bad guy. If managers procrastinate, the situation will drag on longer than necessary or build up until it gets ugly. Megan McGown recalled managers ‘saving their stuff-ups’ and asked those who did this to compare it with an argument with their wife. ‘You are yelled at for not taking the garbage out, which is then followed

CaRinG CaRinG

��0ü

by an outpouring of “You never feed the cat, you don’t pay me any attention and when was the last time we had sex?” If that makes you feel bad, don’t do it to your staff. Talk about it and fix it!’By the time most managers confront them, performance problems require drastic surgery. Retrenchments and forced sackings inevitably sever withered limbs. Even when they genuinely care about the people affected, the process consumes more than the people involved.

most of us feel bad and that hurts

We prevaricate and handle the discussion poorly because we don’t want to be the bearer of bad news. Deep down most of us want to be liked, and when we have to tell others what they don’t want to hear we fear being the messenger with the bullet in our heart.

‘One of the big risks of being a nice guy is a fear to confront. Many find it difficult, and either don’t do it or anguish about it. You must be prepared to confront issues. You need to have the iron fist in the velvet glove, the hard edge that enables you to say, for example, “enough is enough: you’re fired” and not feel bad about it.’ Michael Chaney

HOW DO WE RECOGNISE THE MISTAKE?

my mistake, glad you mentioned it

It is often hard to spot ourselves when we are not caring enough. Our caring can be lopsided as we respond to pressing work demands, leaving little time to think about the people who really matter. Start by reflecting on your current caring and what you might need to change. Do this daily and at regular intervals — each month, quarter and year — to inject greater perspective. Write a list of those that matter, and think about how often you need or want to spend time with them. Then look at how much time you actually spend and how well that time is spent. It is only when we reflect that we realise how time has stolen opportunities — in the same way that we start to value our friends when one dies suddenly and we realise we have lost touch. Time to care is a precious asset that we all too often squander. Ask:

Who matters to me? How much?

How does that reflect in the amount and quality of time I spend with them?

ü

ü

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

seek feedback from others, always For many CEOs, ��0-degree feedback is their caring jolt, as it was for me. Ensure that you get a full spectrum of views: your team, your boss, your peers, your clients and your business partners. Start by using a professional survey through an independent party such as HR to give anonymity to people who want it. Over time, it helps to be able to seek feedback directly. Some useful ‘caring’ questions include:

What matters most to you? How well do I provide that?

What tells you I care? What tells you I don’t?

What could I do differently?

What do you need most right now?

Review the feedback to see where you need to devote more attention. Think about the time you spend with those that matter. Do you focus on them or are you busy thinking about the next appointment, or what you have forgotten to do? The greatest gift we can give others is to pay attention to them. We seem to be able to do it with children. When my nephew Nick comes to stay with me, he is often happy to play or watch a movie. But when he asks me a question, he needs my full attention. Give others that attention too. Five minutes of focus is better than two hours of ‘being there’. Ask:

Who or what am I thinking about when I am with those that matter?

How can I create greater focus so the time I spend with others means more to them?

Who is ‘taking’ our time and energy? …

Look at time for value. Are some people or activities soaking up far more time and energy than others and preventing you from spending time on what or who really matters? Also, consider how you feel after spending time with anyone else. Some can drain us so much that we are unable to care for others until we replenish ourselves. Whether these are demanding friends or family, or difficult or poor performing staff at the office, think about how you might rebalance the scales to spend more time with those that matter more. Ask:

How long do I spend with ‘problem’ people? How much value do I get from those I spend most of my time with?

ü

ü

ü

ü

ü

ü

ü

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

How much time do I and my best people waste as a result? What can I do differently?

and where is it going? …

Others often don’t seem to care as much as we do. Some seem to care only about themselves. These are the ones Gordon Cairns described as: ‘Me, me, me: my salary, my promotion, my bonus, my office.’ Most of the time, it’s not worth getting too upset about; we all have different values and we don’t know what caring others might be doing elsewhere. However, when other people’s lack of caring affects or may affect our team or those we care about, we look at it differently.

Charles Macek, on several major boards and highly respected for his integrity, wouldn’t hire executives who care only about themselves. ‘If someone spends a lot of time talking about financial details, promotion opportunities and the next job, I turn off. Whoever they are as CEO, they will get a large number. How motivated and inspired will they be if all they are concerned about is money? How focused will they be on their people?’ We can often tell these people by what they talk about, as Charles Macek made clear. Those who ask about the next promotion as soon as they get this one, or are more concerned about their salary and perks than their people, are unlikely to develop those who work for them — after all, they could be competition for their current or future job. Anyone who feels like this may want to reflect on the advice of Peter Maher, who was much more satisfied overall when he focused more on fulfilment in the job he was in than clambering up to the next rung of the ladder.We can also watch how people operate. Who do they spend their time on? How do they behave with those above them, below them and at the same level? What is different and what does this tell you about their priorities?Finally and most importantly, we can learn what people really care about from the team that works with them. Get involved in the ��0-degree feedback for each of your team members to ensure they receive clear and unequivocal comments and that the questions ask what you need to know. Include questions in your annual survey that give you a feel for which of your team leaders care. Di Ryall suggests we ask, ‘Who in the senior management team do you see as the greatest role model?’

ü

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

Ask new staff how they feel. At SalesForce all new staff are on probation, with formal reviews after thirty, sixty and ninety days. The staff assigned to look after new recruits ask them:

How is it going?

Is it what we told you it would be?

Is it what you thought it would be?

Are you happy with your manager?

Hold team lunches and ask generic questions about what is working and what is not, in the context of finding common issues you and your teams can work on together. There will always be a few people prepared to speak up initially and this will encourage others. Happy teams will be open and will usually be working on the issues they raise. Less satisfied teams are often either silent or will have one or two very vocal members. Ask questions and listen for concerns, emotion and ambiguity, the clues that tell us there may be something underneath assumptions. Be careful not to take over your manager’s role or second guess them. Another useful clue to finding out how people feel is in understanding the difference between extroverts and introverts. Jenny Morris, who runs a mentoring program for women, suggests: ‘If you don’t know how an extrovert feels, you haven’t listened. If you don’t know how an extrovert feels, you haven’t asked. If someone is not saying much, perhaps it’s just a matter of finding the right question.’

HOW DO WE DEAL WITH IT?

make caring matter

Start with yourself. When you need others to care, make it your priority. Tom Dery has only three words for what motivates people and shows them we care: Listen, listen, listen. Tom is adamant that people want to be heard; to feel important, respected, listened to. ‘They don’t want to feel they are in the dungeon. They want to believe that someone values their opinion and they have an opportunity to have input, to contribute ideas and know they will be heard. LISTENING PLUS FEEDBACK is very powerful.’

‘If you want to inspire people, give them a voice.’ Tom Dery

Tom is not talking about a soft culture. He listens to people, but it is not a democracy. ‘You don’t always have time, nor is it always

ü

ü

ü

ü

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

appropriate, to take everyone’s view and act on it. Not everyone has an equal vote. And yet everyone’s opinion is respected.’ Kevin Panozza is convinced that listening to staff has given SalesForce some of their best ideas. ‘We wanted to define the most desirable traits for a team leader. Instead of senior management deciding and dictating, we asked our existing team leaders. We locked �00 of them in the old Castlemaine jail for twenty-four hours with that question. Words they came back with included motivation, accountability, passion and dedication.’

‘Culture is the enthusiasm, imagination and dynamic energy that results from the sum of each and every team member’s attitude. In our model, culture depends on our people – not the other way round. Staff feedback is central to our culture and our commercial success.’ Kevin Panozza

Deliver on your promises

John McFarlane insists, ‘I CARE about the people and they know that because of my actions. They tell me what is not working and I fix it. I act as if I care and I do.’

When delivering is difficult, seek help. If busy, say to those concerned, ‘I want to thank you for this. We will celebrate. I am flat out. Can you help me arrange it?’ Make sure support people do not misinterpret your priorities and keep cancelling on those that matter.

If, for some unavoidable reason, you cannot do what you promised, let people know, apologise and reschedule or make amends some other way. Communicate honestly what is possible and what is not. Most people understand and appreciate that we care enough to tell them. Do not make a habit of dropping the delivery ball, though. However well intentioned you are, people will eventually stop trusting you.

Only three things matter: communicate, communicate, communicate

‘When we market to consumers we know we need to have our message heard at least three times before it is recognised. The same is true at work — we shouldn’t assume that if we say it once to our employees, it will stick.’ John Pollaers

The more often we listen and talk, the greater the connection. Let people know what you are doing and what is happening. Communicate frequently and clearly through different mechanisms: email, newsletters, and face-to-face. It does not always need to be formal. It

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

can be impromptu. There are several ways to get information to people and gauge their feedback. SalesForce uses a variety of approaches. Chairs-in is a quick, unstructured conversation about new teams, special promotions and the like. Agents stay at their workstations for these meetings, held frequently and often at short notice. Client representatives often attend or run the structured team meetings. People also have one-on-ones when needed for personal performance assessments. Held whenever required, these are normally private. People take a spare office or go to the park across the road. Once every two weeks Gail Kelly sends a staff email, letting people know her priorities and making sure people know what is going on. She wants people to know ‘this is personal’.

align the team; use a spirit level

A fundamental test of whether a leader really cares is whether their management team also care. Caring leaders pay attention to how their team behaves. They make sure that performance measures include behaviour, and sanction those who step outside the boundaries of acceptable behaviour. It is clear to their people that caring matters to them. Gordon Cairns gave behaviour and performance equal weighting when he changed Lion Nathan’s appraisal system. He realised that he had not changed his behaviour earlier because he had had no incentive. He was determined to give his people a reason to change. They started ��0-degree feedback and measured emotional intelligence as well as delivery. ‘We said, “Let’s look at how they operate as well as what they do.” Some were getting outstanding results, but they were unwilling to change. That’s the test. Unless they are prepared to change, we will always have issues with others.’ One new ‘star’ who reported directly to Gordon had an excellent track record and references. Gordon quickly found he had been telling people, ‘You’re useless’ and ‘Once I’ve made my mind up I don’t change.’ Gordon raised this after the first week. ‘How do you think people react to that? You must have empathy with them. You can’t tell them they are stupid. Listen first: then ask.’ After the second week, there was no change. In the third week, Gordon spoke to him every day — still no change. Within four weeks he was gone. Gordon told him, ‘It’s not working. You are not prepared to

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

change. We won’t change our values and culture to accommodate you. You’ll be happier elsewhere. Let’s work out how we can do this and preserve your dignity.’Another top performer who treated people badly insisted she was saving Lion Nathan enormous amounts of money and that her behaviour should not be an issue. As she was not prepared to change, after several discussions they agreed she would leave.

Two fears concern people dealing with behavioural problems: being sued and whether they can replace top performers. Neither Gordon nor I ever found legislation a barrier to removing people. We also found that even when leavers’ results were outstanding, performance did not drop after they left. In fact, it improved. We were also able to replace them with better people.

perceptions matter most

Christine Nixon talked about ‘continually reflecting on our behaviours; thinking about the message they send to our people.’ Think not only about your actions and those of your team, but how others may interpret them. Ask people how they feel you see others. Pinpoint specific behaviours that let you down and change them. Bounce planned group presentations off your team. Ask how they feel they will be received.

If you make enormous demands on yourself, working long hours without let up and/or always producing outstanding results, think about the effect of that and the message it sends to your peers and your team. Mr Incredible wisely told his super-son Dash, who had just blitzed the school in a race, ‘You know the other kids would feel more comfortable if you just beat them by a little.’ Superheroes are too confronting. When leaders consistently stay late, they unwittingly send a message that others must operate this way to get ahead. Megan McGowan deliberately left at a reasonable hour sufficiently often so that staff could see she was serious about work/life balance.

make the point symbolically, metaphorically, figuratively or allegorically, but make it

When Jeff Rodek’s Hyperion management team told him they had booked one of the most expensive hotels in town to discuss the retrenchments they had to make, he was horrified. He could not

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

justify the message it sent. He felt their poor results occured through management failure, when employees had been working hard. To Jeff, executive extravagance while simultaneously slashing the workforce sent the wrong message.

They could not cancel the dinner without losing their fee, so Jeff used the occasion to make a point. At dinner he told his team, ‘We are failing our employees, customers and shareholders’. As he spoke, waiters brought out plates of bread and glasses of water. In wrapping up, he bought everyone’s attention to the ‘meal’. ‘That is all we will get for dinner because that is all we deserve.’ He added that if they were still hungry, they were free to go out to dinner later that night but he did not want to see a single meal on anyone’s expense report. In Jeff’s mind, management had to take ownership for the problems. He wanted the word to get out and it did. The legend of that dinner constantly reminded staff that management were in it with them.

Reinforce or re-establish trust

When you come into a dysfunctional team or organisation, priority number one is to re-establish trust. Go back to how we avoid the caring mistake and focus on congruence and communication.

Tom Dery tells this story of when he started at Ansett: When I joined Ansett, it was moribund. The first thing Rupert Murdoch [head of News Corporation and one of the new owners] said was, “We need to fire everyone and start again. Peter Abeles [TNT CEO and the joint owner] disagreed. “The people are good — we just need two or three change agents.” That was Tom’s job as the new head of the commercial division.

He recalls, ‘They were terrific people; they just lacked self-belief, confidence and the sense that anything is possible. I used the lesson I learned when I first started work and I asked the people on the ground, “Who knows what is really going on? Who can tell me what is really happening?” Then I listened. Graham, one of the key people they pointed me to, had sensational experience and skills. No one had recognised his capability. He was quickly promoted and eventually became a senior executive.’

always do your own homework

Talk to your predecessor about people’s strengths and limitations, and what they like and do not like. Find out about relationships. Observe

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

the team interacting. How well do they get on? Identify any issues, either strong rivalry or close friendships. Stay objective and form your own views.

Get people to tell you if anything seems stupid, a waste of time or wrong. Explain that you may not necessarily take their advice and issues may take time to resolve, but that you are interested in their views and will do what you can. When anything does not make sense or seems stupid, you probably do not have enough information. Keep asking and listening.

Identify and work on issues and perceptions, both inside and outside the team. Identify expectations set by your predecessor. Work out how to deal with past favourites or the potential heir apparent. Be very careful about perceptions and, if necessary, make a point by singling out the wrong and right behaviours very visibly.

announce an amnesty – loudly

Do not try to have sensible discussions when the place is in the process of being upended or people are disappearing faster than Big Brother rejects, with no explanation. Expecting people to discuss performance when that requires a high level of trust is also inappropriate. First, build relationships with people that enable honest conversations. Those conversations need to be balanced. If we raise issues with people the first time we sit down with them, of course they will be defensive. Learn how the system works for salaries and promotions so you can get the deal you want for your staff. Know the appraisal cycle: what is required when. Try to link appraisal planning so that team and personal goals are aligned to next year’s plans. That way you can truly map performance with pay and progress. If systems do not meet your needs develop your own simple complementary tools, but ensure compliance with the organisation.

Like the best surgeon, manage cuts sensitively

‘Companies are living beings. When you are feeding the soul of the company, it remains whole. When you retrench people, it is like sucking the energy out of the company. It has an enormous price. Retrenchment takes you back years. The worst part of it is that trust is let down and you can’t get it back.’ John McFarlane

Greg Loveday, an executive director who cared about both staff and building businesses, had to close an area employing over forty people

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

shortly after taking over business banking, a section of Macquarie Bank. Greg’s new responsibilities included �00 staff, in four businesses, whose careers were jeopardised if the loss-making area was not closed. As a dedicated business builder, the thought of closing that business was abhorrent. He saved many jobs by finding people other opportunities. He told those involved early and, as a result, they helped with the transition and had more time to look for other work. When people are retrenched, it is important to make them feel valued. Di Ryall asks, ‘Why march them straight out the door? It creates a hole for everyone. Do it right, early in the week. Let them go home for the afternoon to think about it. Give them access to good outplacements. Say they are welcome to come back and clear out the desk another day. If you treat them well and show them respect, they will often help with the handover.’ Ask people how they want to deal with their leaving. If possible, let them see and have input into the memo advising others of their departure. Find out how they want to say goodbye. Some want to sneak away quietly, others want a big hurrah and still others may want a quiet dinner with associates after the fuss has died down.

Don’t just bitch about the boss if you are one of those left behind. Many people treat retrenchment as a contagious disease and ostracise those who are leaving. Think about how you would like to be treated in the same situation and demonstrate you care, at whatever level you hold. Sometimes retrenchment can be the beginning of a whole new life. Those left behind may say, ‘Retrench me.’ An employee at Apple had the senior of two positions to be reduced to one to save costs. He came to Di Ryall: ‘I’ve hit my plateau. Keep him; I’m stale and he’s ready to grow.’ The younger man’s role was upgraded. The older man was retrenched and started his own business, which he may not have been able to afford if he had quit. The one who stayed grew, passionate and excited about the position. Spend time with the ‘survivors’ who report to you to make sure they are not overloaded or excessively nervous about where or whether the axe will fall next.

Retrenchment can be the ultimate fashion mistake, making your team or organisation no longer ‘the one to work for’. It’s an ambitious goal, but what are strategies that can help us to get caring right more often?

CaRinG CaRinG

When people are

retrenched, it is important

to make them feel valued.

��0ü

HOW DO WE GET CARING RIGHT?

Catch others ‘doing things right’

Psychologists cite: ‘Give five compliments for each criticism in personal relationships and at least three bouquets per brickbat at work.’ We all appreciate the attention when others, especially those above us, notice our good work. Gail Kelly rings five to ten people every week to ask how they are going, getting branch managers to give her a reason to talk to them. She compliments people, calling them or sending an email. When staff made an exceptional effort in the funds management group at Macquarie Bank, the then CEO David Deverall (now CEO of Perpetual) appeared at their workstation to thank them personally. Di Ryall’s Apple had regular team awards to recognise who added value? It was not much money — often just a small gift voucher — but the recognition was what mattered. Di, without notes, took time to explain each person’s contribution and why each was receiving their award.

People love to hear that others outside their immediate team are also aware of their efforts. If a peer or your boss is impressed with a team member’s work, ask them to mention it personally. Frequency, timeliness and the personal touch really matter. Give others feedback as soon as possible. Say thank you immediately when anyone provides assistance, particularly if it is spontaneous and unselfish.

Remember to careIf busy, use systems to remind yourself to show you care. Don’t worry that people will think it is contrived; they can see the evidence that you know and care. Managers emailed me straightaway when staff had ‘gone beyond’ so I could thank them personally. Pay special attention to those who quietly keep the place running. Often, it takes a crisis for others to notice them. Megan McGowan held a quarterly quiet achiever presentation for those (nominated by others) who worked away quietly or made a big difference over time.

‘We let everyone know about our day to day heroes, the ones who did good jobs but were never recognised. The employee of the month got my parking spot, close to the front door and undercover, while I parked somewhere else. That way, everybody knew who they were.’ Ron Rowland, former CEO, API

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

Set up a regular thank you. Send handwritten notes to staff at all levels when they do well, or once a year so they know ‘the boss’ is aware of their efforts.

Don’t forget, people are human too

Don’t be a purple Cadillac salesman. Treat others as peers; with respect and a friendly attitude. Great leaders value every person in the team. Ron Rowland stopped to talk to the cleaner on his way into the building. ‘This foyer is the first our customers see of us and it’s so clean and that reinforces their good impression of us. Thank you.’ Di Ryall called the three women at Apple’s front desk her ‘directors of first impressions’. No wonder they loved their job.

Be equitable, always; it’s only fair

Don’t confuse equality and equity. Treat everyone as valuable, but understand each person’s individual contribution and his or her value to the team. Ask:

How well do the rewards drive the behaviours and performance that we want?

Ensure competition stays healthy. Think about the messages rewards send. Di asks, ‘When a salesperson is ��0% over budget but leaves a trail of destruction, instead of saying, “My God — we will reward you well” it’s better to say, “He did a top job, but the whole team contributed. We will reward them all.” If you reward the sales guy when all he did was close the deal, what message are you sending?’

While reward systems can be challenging, there are common themes. Di Ryall spoke about one. ‘Sales people are motivated by prestige, position. Use your imagination — the top sales person was allowed to park in the prime spot at Apple (just outside the front door) for a month. The company rented a sports car for a year and the top person could drive it for a month.’

At SalesForce, recognition is vital. There are no measures or time clocks on the wall. People are tracked but it is not in your face. The idea is to take away the pressure of answering calls and the fear of not performing, freeing people up to perform more effectively. They all keep track of their own performance. Everyone finds out when someone does well. Each month, people are nominated as superstars of the month and paper awards are put up on the noticeboard. Awards

ü

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

are given in front of all their peers. If family wish to attend, they are invited. SalesForce makes each employee feel important.

spot and value the differencesGail Kelly insists, ‘Everyone is different. Know what is important to each and treat them as they like to be treated. Some thrive on being noticed; others don’t care so much.’ In the breast cancer ‘club’, everyone deals with the diagnosis differently. Some love the support groups and talking about their experiences. Others want to get on with their life. We all wanted people to make the effort to acknowledge us as real people, not to pretend we were invisible.

Taking the first step in others’ shoes can be as basic as asking what matters to them. Asking often involves more than one question. The first may alert us only to the need to know more. Asking the question brings rewards almost immediately. People appreciate that we asked.

We can’t always do what people want or need. Their request may simply not be the way we do things or may be too difficult. Doing what we can, and being honest about what is and is not possible, shows people we respect them. Be genuine. Avoid gratuitous flattery and don’t compliment people who have done nothing to deserve it. Make sure the right people get the credit. When praising a team leader, recognise the role of the whole team and avoid having obvious favourites. Complimenting people on their work is not a substitute for paying them what they are worth. Underpaid people resent attempts to soften them up.

start from strength; end stronger

How do we get great results from people? Look at their strong points in the context of what matters. Remember how we assess our strengths in deciding what will work best for us and turn that around to help others succeed. Simply showing we care enough to look at things from their perspective will change how they see it too. Ask:

What has been your greatest achievement to date?

What has been your most significant challenge and how did you resolve this?

What are your strengths (personal skills, character, technical and professional)? What can you be more specific about? Can you give me an example?

ü

ü

ü

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

How do you measure your own performance?

Provide feedback to people once in at least every few times you interact with them. For autonomous senior people, simply let them know they are doing well. When you need to talk to discuss issues you can then raise them immediately, as part of your normal interaction. It is less confronting for both parties.

As well as commenting on a team member’s strengths and what she is doing well during the year, use that perspective at appraisal time. Look at her strengths in the context of the three or four key aspects of her job. Then focus on how she can cultivate those through training, coaching and new challenges. Find opportunities for her to shine. When people feel we genuinely want them to succeed, they know we care.

Di Ryall asked her directors of first impressions at Apple’s front desk: How do you feel? Where do you see yourselves in the next

five years?

Do you have a passion to do something else? Do you have anything in mind?

Help with constraints; untie them

Approach limitations as ‘barriers to the best you can be’. In this light, most are eager to work on limitations. This is essential to develop the necessary skills if someone has ambitions to lead a team or become more widely respected for their ability. The discussion should include desirable behaviours as well as performance. Ask:

What is holding you back? How can we help you deal with that?

What support do you need?

If you were spectacularly successful, where do you see yourself in five years time? What do you believe it will take?

What would you like to do more/less of?

When people feel that work pressures prevent them from doing their best, agree on a strategy to find someone else to support them. Don’t compromise on tasks that everyone must do for the team to work, such as completing timesheets. If everyone finds it tedious, ask them to find easier, less time-consuming or more fun ways to do it.

ü

ü

ü

ü

ü

ü

ü

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

turn issues around, but only ��0-degrees

Limitations may affect behaviour or performance. However, avoid assumptions as to what the limitation is. Instead, be specific about exactly what you see them doing in the context of what is not working. Be clear about any consequences if this doesn’t change.Jake was variously described as ‘arrogant, lazy, up himself ’. No manager would work with him. I asked, ‘Jake, I know you are smart and capable. However, your work is substandard. If this continues, no one will work with you. We can’t keep people with no billable time. What’s happening?’ Surprised, he responded, ‘I’m bored’. I set him challenging work, on the proviso that if he didn’t perform, he would have to leave. Within a month, managers were clamouring for him. If the diagnosis is less positive and the person has to leave, the earlier they understand the problem and the alternatives the more time they have to look elsewhere. They preserve their dignity and can look for a role that plays to their strengths. A technical expert at Apple was promoted into a strategic role, managing external relationships. He didn’t star, lost motivation and his performance dropped. A grey cloud hung over him. Di Ryall was direct: ‘You’ve lost your passion. When I worked with you, you were phenomenal. Incredible things happened; you brought people along … Now you are not motivated. I don’t have anything that will take you forward. Is this where you really want to be if you don’t like coming to work in the morning?’ He quit for a more technical position at a telco that leveraged his newer strategic skills. He said: ‘It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love what I am doing now.’ Di gave him permission to leave and focus on his strengths elsewhere. Ask people who may not be working out:

How can we help you find something that suits you better?

In the meantime, how can we manage the transition to retain your self-respect?

sort out your own problems first

Deal with your own staff issues; don’t pass them upwards or hand them over to your peers to sort out. You are closest to the situation and can give the most specific feedback. If you are uncomfortable, get help from a coach, HR or your boss. Most managers, while

ü

ü

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

initially reluctant, find these conversations easier than expected when approached in the right way. A leader’s job is to develop her team into a constellation of stars, whether members constantly send out a gentle warm glow, flicker brightly or end up in another universe.

support your people and they will support you

Kevin Panozza is adamant that team leaders must support their people. He sees good leadership as a gift for those who experience it and bad leadership as a nightmare for those who must endure it. Sometimes it’s enough for your people to know you are there when they need you. At other times, they may need a kind word or a hand.

‘Sometimes you have to give your people hugs.’ Gail Kelly

While in many businesses (law and accounting firms, investment banking and other service industries) the client comes first, driving people for long hours over weeks or months on end is both counterproductive and unnecessary. It is usually possible to arrange workloads so that even if people work overtime, they still get time to spend with friends and family: while they are awake!

Gail Kelly insisted that: ‘It is crucial to encourage people to lead a whole life, achieving a healthy balance and integration of work and family life. This balance leads to healthier and happier individuals and a healthier and more successful organisation. Time at work is not the measure.’ When a customer asks you to do something that will require staff to work long hours, make them aware of the implications in terms of both extra effort and cost for your staff. The customer often doesn’t understand the impact of their request on your people. When they do, they often modify their demands.

As well as assisting people to manage their hours, think about the effect of constant interaction with (sometimes difficult) clients. At SalesForce each person works for a specific client, so they feel they belong. Some of the staff even say, ‘I work for Harvey World Travel.’ Clients collaborate on training. If the client does not provide people with the empowerment to settle issues, parameters are provided. SalesForce specifically teaches employees how to handle difficult calls.

Kevin Panozza relates how they do this: ‘In each conversation, we seek the “transforming instant”: the moment when a prospect becomes a buyer, a dissatisfied customer becomes satisfied, or a raging caller

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

stops and says, “I’m so sorry!” If someone gets several abusive calls, we take them offline for a while. We tell them, “This is not about you. The customer at the other end is not happy with the client you work for.”’

‘I have a “no arseholes” policy.’ Roy Singham

Roy Singham, the forthright and fascinating CEO of US-based global IT development company Thoughtworks, has zero tolerance for prejudice. He believes that it will only stop if those with power and influence refuse to tolerate it. He won’t compromise on social policies. ‘I grew up believing that if anyone was offensive to women or minority groups, I should intervene: “If you do that one more time, you are offending me as well.”’

If alerted to issues with one of your direct reports through one of the people who work for them in your team, let your direct report know the issues will be investigated and that you will keep them informed. Make them aware that you will view poorly any attempts to prevent staff from speaking honestly. Make sure that if you speak to staff about a manager who works for you, you are objective and discuss only facts and their feelings and that you respect their confidentiality. Only give that manager the information you have accumulated in summary, not what individuals have told you.

Connection must be frequent and honest

Trust is a precious and rare commodity. We establish truly trusting relationships with others only when we can confront and deal with our differences and continue to work together afterwards. Trust requires us to be able to tell people what is really happening, not what we think they want to hear.

‘Decide what you really think and know who you are before you tell people what you believe in. Be honest without being self-indulgent. Most people can detect falsehood. Your team is entitled to expect the truth. Never say anything that is not true. You may not tell everything, but you still shouldn’t mislead by omission.’ Allan Moss

Balance honesty with sensitivity when dealing with difficult issues. Does it need to be said?

How can it be said best to be truthful and yet preserve the self-respect of each party?

ü

ü

CaRinG CaRinG

���ü

Honesty is particularly important when it comes to new positions, promotions and rewards. Di Ryall had this to say: ‘There are never unlimited opportunities and you should not promise this. You need to be serious about what is available and ensure they are too.’

place a value on conversations with everyone

You never know what you will learn. Keenly observe interactions in meetings. Go back if you have more questions. Understand your role in connection. If you can work out how you are seen by other people as you communicate, you will better understand any responses to what you do and say. Everyone is different. Talk to people directly. Ask your boss and others how to deal with people you see as difficult. If you don’t know someone personally that you want to meet and who works above you, get a personal introduction. Don’t go over people’s head without advising them first, especially where you have issues with them.

Caring is not a passing trend

If we want to wear it well we need to wear our caring every day, with everyone we deal with. If we want to ‘do’ caring properly, it requires our full attention. It takes time and effort. We often need to change our attitude. I still occasionally venture out shopping in my daggiest jeans and unkempt hair, to relive the experience of feeling beneath someone’s caring and, more positively, discover enlightened shopkeepers who understand the folly of always relying on first impressions. Great leaders appreciate that everyone matters and everyone has a story and a purpose; all we need to do is ask and listen and treat what they say with respect.

‘If you want to be a great employer, the secret lies in asking the right people — the people who work for you. Many of your employees will care enough — and be brave enough — to offer opinions. These are the people who know and you should ask them.’ Kevin Panozza, CEO, Salesforce

CaRinG CaRinG

https://www.margaretwright.com.au/