the art of self-coaching @ stanford gsb, class 4: happiness
TRANSCRIPT
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The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coachingEd Batista
Class 4: April 24, 2015
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Photo by Alex Eflon [link]
Where are we
Self-intervention
Happiness myths & facts
Happiness strategies
Values & strengths
going?
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Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
How will we
Start in small groups
One coaching conversation
get there?
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Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
Concepts 1 20 mins
Small group discussion 25 mins
Concepts 2 20 mins
A coaching conversation 25 mins
For next time… 5 mins
Agenda
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Self-intervention
Photo by Christian Senger [link]
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Positive
Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link]
psychology
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Positive
Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link]
psychologyEudaimonia
The highest human aim
Flourishing or fulfillment
Distinct from mere pleasure
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Positive
Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link]
psychologyEudaimonia
“Happiness does not lie in amusement…
…but in virtuous activities.”
~Nicomachean Ethics, Book X Ch 6
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Happiness
Photo by Marina del Castell [link]
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Happiness
It matters
(Although more isn’t always better)
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Happiness
Can it be pursued?
Or must it ensue?
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Happiness
Viktor Frankl
“Happiness must happen.”
Martin Seligman
H = S + C + V
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Genetic
Set Point
(50%)
Intentional
Activities
(40%)
(10%)
Life Circumstances
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Facts & myths
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Facts & myths
Fact: Variance among individuals in the sample
Myth: Relative sources of your happiness
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Facts & myths
Fact: Hereditary traits influence happiness
Myth: Genetics = 50% of your happiness
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Facts & myths
Fact: Our genes are pre-determined
Myth: Our “happiness setpoint” is fixed
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Facts & myths
Fact: Circumstances matter less than we think
Myth: Circumstances = 10% of your happiness
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Facts & myths
Fact: Hedonic adaptation diminishes impact
Myth: Circumstances don’t matter
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Facts & myths
Fact: Money ≠ happiness
Myth: It’s irrelevant
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Facts & myths
Myth: Intentional activities = 40% of happiness
Fact: They can have a significant impact
Why does this matter?
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Change
Large goals Small components
Celebrate small victories
Experiment
Agency
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Happiness
Photo by Marina del Castell [link]
strategies
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Happinessstrategies
Sonja Lyubomirsky, UC
What activities have a demonstrable impact?
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Happinessstrategies
Gratitude
Optimism
Overthinking
Kindness
Relationships
Engagement (Flow)*
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Flow
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Claremont
(Cheek-sent-me-high)
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Skill
BOREDOM
ANXIETY
Challenge
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Happinessstrategies
Gratitude
Optimism
Overthinking
Kindness
Relationships
Engagement (Flow)
Savoring
Commitment
Coping
Forgiveness
Spirituality
Your Body*
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Taking care
Meditation
Physical activity & rest
“Acting like a happy person”
Why group all these together?
of your body
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Happinessstrategies
Gratitude
Optimism
Overthinking
Kindness
Relationships
Engagement (Flow)
Savoring
Commitment
Coping
Forgiveness
Spirituality
Your Body
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Happiness
No optimal mix
Highly personalized
strategies
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Happiness
Contingent on…
Naturalness
Enjoyment
Values
Absence of guilt or pressure
strategies
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Values
Martin Seligman, Christopher Peterson, et al
How do we achieve eudaimonia?
How do we live the good life?
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Values
Values in Action (VIA) Institute
A DSM for positive psychology
“Manual of the Sanities”
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Values
Intensive, methodical study
Cultural, philosophical & religious traditions
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Values
Classification scheme
Associated instrument (VIA Survey)
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Values
Virtues (Abstract, universal)
Strengths
Situational themes (Specific, contextual)
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Values
Virtues
6 universally valued (with some caveats)
Too abstract to test
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Values
Virtues
Strengths
Distinct paths to the virtues
24 items in your VIA report
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Values
Virtues
Strengths
Situational themes
Habits that give rise to strengths
Highly variable across settings & cultures
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6 virtues
Wisdom
Courage
Humanity
Justice
Temperance
Transcendence
(& 24 strengths)
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Wisdom
Photo by Eric Mueller [link]
Cognitive
Acquisition & use of knowledge
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Wisdom
Photo by Eric Mueller [link]
Creativity
Curiosity
Judgment
Love of learning
Perspective
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Courage
Photo by Andrew Magill [link]
Emotional
Accomplish goals in the face of resistance
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Courage
Photo by Andrew Magill [link]
Bravery
Honesty
Persistence
Zest
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Humanity
Photo by Joe Shlabotnik [link]
Interpersonal
Tending & befriending others
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Humanity
Photo by Joe Shlabotnik [link]
Kindness
Love
Social intelligence
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Justice
Photo by Jack [link]
Civic
Healthy community life
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Justice
Photo by Jack [link]
Fairness
Leadership
Teamwork
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Temperance
Photo courtesy of Willpowered [link]
Intra-personal
Auspicious self-restraint
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Temperance
Photo courtesy of Willpowered [link]
Forgiveness
Humility
Prudence
Self-regulation
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Transcendence
Photo by Moyan Brenn [link]
Connection to something higher
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Transcendence
Photo by Moyan Brenn [link]
Appreciation of beauty & excellence
Gratitude
Hope
Humor
Spirituality
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Criteria
Distinct
Paragons
Prodigies*
Selective absence
Institutions & rituals
Fulfillment
Morally valued
Diminish others
Felicitous opposite
Traitlike
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Criteria
24 strengths
11 meet all 10 criteria
11 more meet 9 criteria
2 meet 8 criteria
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Signaturestrengths
Image public domain [link]
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Signaturestrengths
Characterized by…
Sense of ownership & authenticity
Feeling of excitement
Continuous learning
Desire to use it
Invigoration
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Signaturestrengths
Martin Seligman
The good life is “Using your signature strengths
every day in the main realms of your life
to bring abundant gratification and
authentic happiness.”
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To sum up
Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
Happiness (eudaimonia) matters
Intentional activities do, too
Intrinsic motivation is key
Signature strengths point the way
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Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Resilience
56 questions
Same as in Reivich & Shatté (easier to score)
Go with your gut; don’t deliberate
Quotient
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Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Resilience
Before next week’s class…
Complete it (10 mins)
Then score it (10 mins)
Then read Reivich & Shatté
Then prepare a story…
Quotient
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A story…
An experience when you were resilient
Be prepared to explain your resilience
(Use your RQ Assessment)
You’ll have 4 minutes
Photo by Alexander Lyubavin [link]