the b-list may 2011- cover story "where r u juan atkins?"

ISSUE

Information You Crave

“WHERE R U JUAN ATKINS?”

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4201 St. Antoine Blvd. • Detroit, Michigan 48201-2153 • (313) 745 -3000

Detroit, isn't it time you come back home?

DRH-Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Ad_Layout 1 10/7/10 11:53 AM Page 1

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Spectacles 230 E. Grand River

(Dwtn Detroit)

The UPS Store 18701 Grand River

(Rosedale Park)

The Johnson Family Agency 18711 Grand River

(Rosedale Park)

Shauna Johnson’s Allstate Insurance Agency 19562 Grand River

(Rosedale Park)

Greggs Pizza 17160 Livernois

(Detroit)

Simply Casual 19400 Livernois

(Detroit)

Liquor Palace 20078 Livernois

(Detroit)

Fundamental Spa 118 E. Nine Mile

(Ferndale)

House of Chants 210 W. Nine Mile

(Ferndale)

Burn Rubber 202 W. Fourth (Royal Oak)

Incognito 323 S. Main Street

(Royal Oak)

Bar 724528 W. 12 Mile

(Southfield)

GET THE MAGAZINE AT THE FOLLOWING

LOCATIONS:

FROM THE PUBLISHER

A POSITIVE DETROIT ...Ok, imagine living somewhere else. Growing up with different friends. Living in a different environment. At the end of the day would you really be the same person? Detroit is who Detroiters are. That’s right. Detroit (unlike many major cities) breeds an undeniable uniqueness. Amidst all the verbal negativity spewed our direction we remain confident, successful and creative. Do we have flaws, need growth or more dedicated leadership - sure. But, I ask you what city doesn’t? We are the worlds best in automotive excellence. We host the worlds biggest music festival. We have 4 major sport franchises. When someone asks “YOU” what Detroit is all about - tell ‘em how we really roll, It’s so easy for “them” to converse about what we don’t have - instead of highlighting the countless things we really do... A positive view of Detroit - now that sounds good to me. Just some food for thought... Keep reading The B List MagazineBruce BaileyPublisher

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Spectacles 230 E. Grand River

(Dwtn Detroit)

The UPS Store 18701 Grand River

(Rosedale Park)

The Johnson Family Agency 18711 Grand River

(Rosedale Park)

Shauna Johnson’s Allstate Insurance Agency 19562 Grand River

(Rosedale Park)

Greggs Pizza 17160 Livernois

(Detroit)

Simply Casual 19400 Livernois

(Detroit)

Liquor Palace 20078 Livernois

(Detroit)

Fundamental Spa 118 E. Nine Mile

(Ferndale)

House of Chants 210 W. Nine Mile

(Ferndale)

Burn Rubber 202 W. Fourth (Royal Oak)

Incognito 323 S. Main Street

(Royal Oak)

Bar 724528 W. 12 Mile

(Southfield)

GET THE MAGAZINE AT THE FOLLOWING

LOCATIONS:

Yeah, I’m old school. For the past 6 years, I have been sending out 2,500 emails, 50 at a time, covering events in the surrounding Metro Detroit area. A friend of mine complimented me on my quirky way of writing and suggested and urged me to take my networking efforts a step further; and here we are one year later with the 13th installment of the BList droppin ‘ on Detroit.

My visibility in Detroit’s local music scene has played a huge role in the success of this project. Most of the writers and staff members have been handpicked from relationships I have made over the years while DJ’ing around the city. A close colleague pointed out to me at the 2010 magazine launch party that with the aid of lifelong relationships, the longevity of this magazine will forever remain endless. Those words remain close to me and will never be forgotten.

It must be the music……yea, at least that’s what keeps me motivated. I still send out a weekly email b list the old fashion way and though the magazine remains printed in black and white copy, it is now available in full color through various internet web blasts. My motto remains, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, just relax and let it grow!” The BList - Read it…..

Bruce BaileyPublisher

For story ideas and advertising contact me at:[email protected]

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Bringing Hope To Detroit Youth



CHAR

LIE..

.

last n

ame

WILSO

N

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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE Poet Ron Spears Director Erica HayesAndre McWilliamsDux Jones


a conversation with

By Rachel Araya


By Rachel Araya

Keith Washington


BTHELIST Jessica CareMoore : Poetic

Justice

Wayne County Commissioner Alisha Bell

Stacey “Hotwaxx” Hale

B-List BeautyOf The Month


Issue 1February 2010BTHELIST

Monica BlaireReady For Takeoff

The Kim Bettie Radio ShowSo What’s The Fuss?

DJ MinxFor The Love of The Game


Rock Steady withA Legacy on Wheels:

Rolling With Mark A. DouglasPresident of Avis Ford


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FROM THE EDITOR

PUBLISHERSBruce Bailey

Nikki Howard-Combs

SENIOR EDITORMonique Guest

CREATIVE DIRECTORChuck Cross

MARKETING & EVENTS12 NV Events, LLC

GRAPHIC DESIGN Chuck CrossSteven Love

CFOCurtis Johnson

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Rachel ArayaRichard CarsonBrigitte Maxey

Lisa CosleyShiron Denise

Lisa MillsFrancyne WalkerMelody Johnson

Cylenthia LaToye MillerMichelle FinleyJoy Santiago

Curtrise GarnerCoire Nichols Houston

Crystal HartMonica Hickson

COLUMNISTSDr. Reginald EadieDonna Marie Perry

Kim BettieLaSaunji Colston

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERSNapoleon Wright Jr.

Steven Love Emmett NicholasRaphael Goudy

CIRCULATIONCamille Corr

ADVERTISING SALESLes Lance

Dear Readers,

Michigan weather!!! Where is all the sunshine? “Rain, rain, go away, come back another day!!!” I guess we can look forward to the flowers blooming soon and for some of you, spring love. What is there to say about the dance of the sexes? The physical attraction, the touch, the kiss, the smell, everything that makes new love, great love but what happens when that love relationship comes to a bump in the road? Take some time this month and read Crystal Hart and Monica Hicksons’ Singles Looking for Love column where this month they discuss relationship roadblocks. This is sure to peak your interest.

This Memorial Day, Movement, Detroit’s Electronic Music Festival, will open up this year with artist and DJ’s from all over the world showcasing their techno and electronic musical talents for all the House heads, Techno heads and enthusiast of electronic music. Detroit is said to be the birthplace of this musical phenomena. One of the monumental artists involved in birthing the techno sound is Juan Atkins. Coire Nichols Houston catches up with Juan to see where he’s been and what is the future of Techno?

Dr. Eadie gives a play-by-play of the debate over coffee vs. tea. You will be surprised by the history of the two and which beverage wins after 12 rounds, or should I say, it’s a draw. You decide.

Make sure you read The BList from cover to cover and enjoy. I would like to thank you all again, for your continued support of The BList magazine. We are here to give you the, “Information you crave.” Enjoy this month’s BList!

Sincerely,

Monique [email protected]

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REGISTER NOW!!!! Friday, June 17, 2011 University of Michigan African American Alumni Council (UMAAAC)

INAUGURAL CELEBRITY ATHLETE GOLF CLASSIC (www.umaaac.com)

PHEASANT RUN

GOLF CLUB 46750 Summit Parkway

Canton, MI 48188 Phone: 734-397-6460

Friday, June 17, 2011

Event will include 18 holes of

golf (including cart) with U of M athletes, alumni, and friends, lunch, door prizes,

putting and “drive” challenges, silent auction, an exciting awards banquet and

more.

For additional information or to register your team, call

Nikki Howard-Combs, MBA, CWP U of M - Class of ’96 – MBA

Owner - “1 2 NV” Events, LLC 248-648-12NV (1268) [email protected]

or the UMAAAC Office 734-647-9605

Proceeds from event will support the UMAAAC

Martin Luther King, Jr. Scholarship Fund

“Turning DREAMS into Reality!”

You are cordially invited to join the University of Michigan African American Alumni Council (UMAAAC)

on Friday, June 17, 2011 for the “Inaugural Celebrity Athlete Golf Classic & Awards Banquet”

at Pheasant Run Golf Club in Canton, Michigan

Proceeds from this event will support the UMAAAC Martin Luther King, Jr. Scholarship Fund

TICKETS/SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES:

Individual Tickets - $200.00 “Golf with an Alumni Athlete” Tickets - $500.00

Awards Banquet/Silent Auction ONLY - $125.00

WOLVERINE SPONSOR - $10,000.00

MAIZE SPONSOR - $7,500.00 BLUE SPONSOR - $5,000.00 MGOBLUE SPONSOR - $2,500.00 HOLE-IN-ONE SPONSOR - $1,000.00 LONGEST DRIVE SPONSOR - $750.00 CLOSEST TO THE PIN SPONSOR - $750.00

HOLE SPONSOR - $500.00 TEE SPONSOR - $300.00 CART SPONSOR - $200.00 STUDENT GOLFER SPONSOR - $150.00 PUTTING CONTEST SPONSOR - $100.00

DONORS (to UMAAAC MLK Scholarship Fund) Donations of any amount welcomed Contact Nikki Howard-Combs, Event Coordinator on 248-648-12NV (1268) or [email protected] if you are interested in Golfing, Sponsoring, Donating to the Auction, Volunteering, or if you have any questions. We appreciate the generosity of all supporters and Sponsors. Thank you in advance for supporting the

UMAAAC MLK Scholarship Fund!

HONOREE

Mr. Greg Harden Associate Athletic

Director

CONFIRMED ATHLETES: *Derrick Walker -Tight End

U of M (85 – 89)

*Jim Betts - Defensive Back

U of M (68 – 70)

*Stan Edwards-Running Back

U of M (77 – 82) *Chris Calloway -Wide Recvr.

U of M (86 – 89)

*Dave Chester – Off. Guard U of M (85 – 88) Letterman

*Marcus Walker (no photo)

*Tom Seabron (no photo)

U o

DETROIT’S

ASK DR. EADIE

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Q: Dr. Eadie, my husband and I have been debating over which is healthier, coffee or tea? Can you shine some light on the matter for us please? Tea drinker, West Bloomfield Township, MI

A: The fight between coffee and Tea! This debate has existed since these two famous beverages were discovered. They both have been linked to wars that were waged over access to their mother plants and the mystical effects both drinks have on the human body. When interviewed, coffee drinkers enjoy warm cups of this delight for very different reasons than tea drinker s. So, in a match between Mr. Coffee and Mr. Tea, you may expect one to knock out the other but the fight lasts much longer than twelve rounds. Let’s look at a play-by-play of each scientific round.

Coffee vs. Tea

TOP DOCTOR

Reginald J. Eadie, MD President, Detroit Receiving Hospital

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Round 1Tea was said to be discovered around 2700 B.C. in China by a Chinese ruler, only after a leaf fell into his hot water. There began the existence of a tea as a new ruler over beverages. It wasn’t until the 9th century (A.D.) that coffee stepped on the scene. According to history, the effect of coffee beans on behavior was noticed by a sheep herder from Kaffa Region in Ethiopia (where the plant originally grew before transplantation) as he tended his sheep. He noticed that the sheep were skipping, rearing their hind legs, and making loud noises, after eating these bright red berries from a nearby green bush, when they changed pastures. Curious, he ate some of them and was soon as overactive as his herd. Apparently, the name (Mocha or coffee) came after an Arabian and his followers were exiled to the desert without food. In desperation, they boiled and ate the fruit (berries) from an unknown plant. Not only did the drink save them nutritionally, but their survival was considered a miracle from God by the natives of a nearby town called Mocha. The plant and its beverage were named Mocha to honor this miracle. The heavy weight championship fight began as soon as the word spread about how spiritually stimulating this mocha was found to be.

Round 2 As a reminder, antioxidants are disease preventing agents that occur naturally and variably in many food items. It has been found that antioxidants are present in tea and at different concentrations, depending on the color of the tea. White tea has the highest concentration of these life saving chemicals, followed by green tea, black tea and coffee. Green and white teas are made from different parts of the tea leaves while black tea is a product of fermentation which lowers the levels of both caffeine and antioxidants.

Round 3What makes these drinks the world’s favorite is the chemical that many of us are addicted to – CAFFEINE. This drug augments productivity, increases alertness, improves memory, concentration, and enhances athletic performance. Coffee has the highest concentration, followed by black tea, green tea and white tea. Coffee has about 150 -200 milligrams of caffeine per cup. Decaffeinated coffee has a small amount of caffeine in it because the removal process is not 100% accurate. Tea only has an average of 55 milligrams of caffeine per cup.

Round 4Coffee contains caffeine, trigonelline, chlorogenic acid, phenolic acid, amino acids, carbohydrates, minerals, organic acids aldehydes, ketones, esters, amines and mercaptans. Tea contains caffeine, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, tannin, catechin, fluorine and polysaccharides.

Round 5Tea is good for your heart as it decreases the serum cholesterol, triglycerides, and free fatty acids. Coffee has a fat-like chemical called cafestol, which may increase cholesterol levels. Recent studies have shown coffee to be a heart attack preventing drink, although too much of it may have a deleterious effect on your cardiovascular system.

Round 6Chemicals found in tea suppress the growth of cancer cells. The secret of the teas lies in the fact that it is rich in a catechin polyphenol, particularly epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG). EGCG is a powerful anti-oxidant that inhibits the growth of cancer cells. Unlike many of the chemotherapy agents, it kills cancer cells without harming healthy tissue. At this point, coffee has not been found to be a risk factor or of any benefit to cancer.

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By Michelle Finley

I have always had a desire for more knowledge, always researching

any topic that could hold my attention. Yet, as I ponder the mortgage

meltdown and our economic crisis, I cannot seem to learn enough. So,

this month I thought I would narrow the focus, and share with you what

I learned in my most recent negotiations.

I’ve been negotiating on homeowner’s behalf for nearly 10 years and I

am always amazed when I get exactly what I wanted for my client. And

on the other side of the same token, I’m always disappointed when I

leave money on the table, meaning I didn’t negotiate smart enough.

Most recently, I had a situation in which the asset manager of the

lender/servicer refused to speak with me, and supposedly the realtor

representing the lender/ servicer was only “authorized” to offer my

client $1500.00 to move out of her home in three (3) weeks. Now,

the reason lenders/ servicers offer homeowners financial assistance

in relocating is not out of the goodness of their hearts, it is because it

helps them increase their chances in recovering more money from your

foreclosure.

The logic goes, if they offer you cash to clean your own house they won’t

need to hire a company to do it, and the likelihood of you destroying the

property by removing the fixtures is significantly decreased. The only

problem with this logic is the amount of assistance they offer, generally

speaking it is usually no more than $1500 and often times as little as

$500.

In the end, despite the asset manager’s decision to not speak with me, I

was still able to coach my client and we were able to secure $2500 and

four (4) weeks…not bad! However, I left money on the table, and I know

this because the realtor was far too willing to submit our counter offer.

Know your rights and understand any offer that comes from your

mortgage company, whether you are in foreclosure or are working on

a loan modification, it’s just an “OFFER”, you can always counter offer!

Fight for your rights!

Michelle Finley , President

Homeowners Advocate Association

Direct 248.298.9134

Toll Free 866.611.4551

Visit us @ www.haacanhelpnow.com

Cash for Keys…Make it

Work for You

Sippin With Soni

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I’vebeenasked,morefrequently,aboutmaking“fruity”orfrozendrinks.Typically,aflavoreddaiquiriorsomesortof“girly” drink comes to mind, along with the notion of decreased alcohol content. True in most instances however, there are anendlessnumberof“fruity”drinksthatarenotlackinginalcoholorflavorandIdareyoutocallthem“girly”.So,thismonth and for the next couple of months, I’ll be borrowing from some of my vacation locales, the specialty drinks of the Caribbean. One particular drink that was a common favorite in the British Virgin Islands was called a Painkiller. Now, I had to think what pain could one possibly suffer from living in the Caribbean? Really? Nevertheless, this fresh mix is similar to a Piña Colada; however, the orange juice and nutmeg give it a very unique “mmmm” factor. The ingredients are what you would mostreadilyfindavailableontheislands,rum,whichisplentifulandridiculouslycheap,freshjuices,andnutmeg.

Caribbean Painkiller2-4 oz of Dark Rum4 oz of Pineapple Juice1 oz of Cream of Coconut1 oz of Orange Juice (pulp free)Handful of iceSprinkle of Nutmeg

Simply mix all your liquids in a martini shaker. Just a gentle shake to blend the liquor and the juices is all that’s needed. Pour into a fairly tall glass, with ice. Sprinkle with nutmeg and add an orange or pineapple slice and a cherry. This also works well as a frozen drink. Just add the ingredients to a blender instead of a martini shaker. Now, don’t be fooled, this one goes down fast and easy, but it will sneak up on you so pace yourself and remember to drink responsibly.

Cheers!

LaS

aunj

i Col

ston

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Coire D. Nichols Houston

“Where are you Juan Atkins?” I have found myself

asking, and now texting, that exact same question

for nearly the three decades that I have had the

pleasure of knowing, growing, following and

transitioning with “The GOD FATHER of Techno.”

From the alter egos of Cybroton, Model 500, and

Channel One; Juan has been prone to taking you

on a “Night Drive,” down his personal inner-galactic

highway while chilling, in his “Cosmic Car!” Today,

the internationally acclaimed artist continues his

travels, sharing, living and loving his craft with all of

his fans globally...

Although he has not dropped any new tracks in a

few years, I am pleased to announce to the readers

of the B-List, that there’s no need to fear, the

CREATOR is “Clear” on the future of his musical

destiny! So stayed tuned, something for everyone is

coming very soon!

Where R U Physically?

He’s right here in the city of Detroit. After spending

several years in Washtenaw County, the origins

from where he and “The Bellville Three” (friends/

artists: Derrick May and Kevin Saunderson), were

conceived; along with his wife Carla, the two have

returned back to his roots, after their daughter,

Milan, enrolled at Wayne State University. The

‘Apple,’ of both parents’ eyes, which Atkins has

personally made reference as being his “Greatest

Accomplishment in Life,” apparently did not

fall far from “Daddy’s tree!” Ms. Atkins innately

inherited his love for music, with recently receiving

a scholarship to Wayne State University in music,

her major.

Keeping within the traditional “La Costa Nostra,”

by running their businesses from within; “The God

Father,” intends on doing the same by making his

daughter the President of Metroplex Records (the

first record label allocated to Techno music, which

he founded).

Last year, during “‘Movement’, Detroit’s Electronic

Music Festival,” Metroplex celebrated its 25th

Anniversary with a monumental gathering of

performances of local and international artists.

What made the event nostalgic was all three of

‘The Originator’s,’ cohorts that were instrumental

with creating this musical phenomena; Kevin ‘The

Elevator’ Sauderson, Eddie ‘Flashin’ Fowlkes, and

Derrick ‘The Innovator’ May, were included. For the

first time since their early beginnings, all four raised

the roof from sundown to sunrise “United as One!”

“WHERE R U JUAN ATKINS?”

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Where R U Musically?

This Memorial Day weekend marks the 11th year

for “Movement,” an annual event that draws

people from all facets of the world, to Detroit,

communing all “For the love of Electronic Music!”

When asked if he was surprised with the success

of the festival? He replied, “The first year was

a huge success! In view of the turnout with the

attendance numbers, it was obvious that it was

going to be around for a while. I’m not as surprised

that it existed (the festival) this long, but that it

has continued due to the different management

changes that have transpired over the years.”

Since its early beginnings, in the 80’s, the (Techno)

sound has remained underground and is only

played at certain clubs nationally, with very few

festivals, in the United States. Whereas, in Europe,

Asia, and other continents, faithful listeners travel

in droves to hear our Detroit pioneers perform.

According to Atkins, “The USA is a very commercial

oriented market. This is where capitalism and

commercialism started.

The emphasis that (American) “Pop stars” can sell

out stadiums really clouds-out a true, pure, music

movement (which audiences across the pond and

beyond understand). Depending on the line-up

of artists, there are festivals (overseas) with an

attendance of anywhere from 10-20 thousand

people with 20-30 DJ’s performing.”

I asked where Techno (music) is today, and what is

its future? “There have been a lot of innovations

that have happened since the beginning, and

now computers are playing even more of a role

than they have ever played in the past. Not

only electronic but also techno music. Today, if

you have a laptop with enough power, you can

make an entire track. Because the technology

has allowed people to make tracks and with the

evolution of music, people are producing electronic

compositions from every corner of the globe.

There’s no longer a need for 4-5 people to remain

in one room to make one track. So to answer your

question, this will result with a lot of new and fresh

ideas. What that might be? I can’t tell you, but I’m

sure it will result with music changing more than it

ever has before.”

Identifiably an electronic musician, first and

foremost, with attributing his style to naturally

being associated with computers and technology;

hence the term Techno; his record label’s future

appears to be exciting and enlightening, especially

for whom he’s grooming to be his newest star! “I

made Milan the President of Metroplex (records)

this year. I’m waiting for her to finish-up her

semester in school so I can begin to show her the

business aspect of the industry.” With regards to

launching her musical career, is concerned. Big

plans are in store for something new and innovative

that has not been introduced to the United States.

“In the UK (United Kingdom/England), I’ve been

checking out this style of music called “Techstep”

and “Dubstep” w hich has been around for about

10 years. I’ll just call it the evolution of drum, bass

and jungle music. It’s very hot in Europe with a

sound that’s up-tempo! What I want to do with

her will be innovative and interesting by taking

some elements of that style and laying her vocals

on top of that to create something different, and

new for a younger generation! Let’s just say it will

be a mesh between “Pop” and “Dubstep” music. ”

I personally remained dumbfounded with trying to

grasp onto what the hell he was talking about, yet

he continued to add to my confusion, “Just tell your

readers this, those who know anything about music

will understand what I’m saying! Dubstep, is an up

tempo version of electro music which can be mixed

in easily with other tracks, that’s double the speed

of a rap track. While a hip-hop or rap track will play

at 70-80 DPM, a Dubstep track will play at 140-150

DPM!”

Obviously, not only does he clearly “talk the

talk,” but he also “walks the walk,” as many of his

successors have taken heed to his skills over the

years by sampling his tracks on their music. Artists

consisting of; T.I.’s, “Lay Me Down;” Sir Mix A lot’s,

“Baby Got Back;” Missy Elliott’s, “Loose Control,”

as well as, the girl rap trio, (who was produced

by a younger Dr. Dre) JJ Fad’s, “Super Sonic.”

Although Juan never pursued Dr. Dre, who’s now

a legendary ‘Rap’ producer, legally; he remains

humbled with always knowing that his music

has and continues to be inspirational to various

different levels of genres.

Where R U Mentally?

Astute and well versed with all types of music, his

preferences range from Classical to Hip-Hop, and

from Jazz to Rock and Roll. In his spare time he

also reads, with recently adding “God’s Miracle

Plan for Men,” by Minister Robert Tilton to his

literary repertoire. Of course, this opened the

door to questioning his spirituality, which he

adamantly stated, “Yes, I am very spiritual, I’m

non-denominational but I am a Christian!”

While his love for music obviously runs deep from

within, his second being, as with most men, is

football! “I am a football ‘Fanatic!’

If I were big enough, I would have played football

in high school; however, I did play on a little

league team over there on 7 mile and Wyoming,

(in Detroit at the Tindal Recreation Center)

with the ‘Northwest Cougars!’ ” His fondness

for football is such, that when traveling he’s a

seasoned subscriber to “Direct TV’s NFL Internet

Channel” so he will not miss any games on his

laptop!”

Although, he may get ‘Brutal,’ on the ‘Wheels of

Steel,’ on stage and in the studio; his demeanor is

the exact opposite, laid back, and somewhat of an

introvert.

A husband, and father; new music under

construction, his companies’ new leadership

underway; all while keeping it in “La Familia!”

With God first, to being the “CREATOR” of a

universal sound; certainly meets all of the pre-

requisites for being “The GODFATHER of Techno!”

So, if you thought you knew who “Don Juan” is,

was, or where he’s going to be; NOW, you KNOW!

He’s right, ‘in the here and now;’ physically, and

mentally, while anxiously awaiting any musical

manifestations that technology might bring! “I’m

gonna make them an offer they can’t refuse!”-

Don Corleone

15

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16

What do you think are the main relationship roadblocks?

We hear all the time that, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.” We might have read the book, spoken to our friends about it, and had the discussion several times; but what does it all mean. There are several challenges to building a long lasting relationship. Many people deal with the complexity of communication as it relates to their relationship; while others are dealing with their own demons that can hinder a good healthy relationship.

Communication

Good communication is an essential part of a healthy relationship. People want to hear what they want to hear. Sometimes, it is almost as if men have to translate what women are actually saying. And sisters, we need to figure out what men are trying to relate to us, only bits of the message survives the barrage of our mental interference. We seek to understand but rarely do we take the time to be active listeners. “He told me he was interested in pursuing a relationship.” Okay, but what ‘kind’ of relationship and in what year? If we are open with our partner, without blowing smoke signals, that always seem to be misinterpreted, then maybe we can begin to truly communicate with one another. It is already hard enough to try and read facial expressions. One person told me, “Girl, I never have the serious conversation on the phone…that takes away ½ of the interpretation of the dialog.” Words sure do sound good when you hear the voice on the other end, but without the body language, facial expressions, and overall chemistry, something is lost in translation.

Drama

Here is a newsflash – some people like drama! Yep, that’s right! There are some people who live for the, “I slashed his tires and busted out his windows” stories…What the hell! People confuse drama with love, affection, or a real connection. The higher the drama gets, the more it is associated with the feeling of love or passion. You would think that most 40 something’s would get that, this is NOT love. Amazingly, some folks do not change with age. When the emotional stakes rise, so does the elevation of the drama. Men hate drama ladies. And men, we are simple creatures and do not need any more excitement in our lives, so leave the tactics at the door. Life is too short for any additional headaches – besides, instead of hurling a perfectly good can of soup at your man’s car – try warming it up with some crackers. I’m just saying.

Rate of Commitment

One person is in the fast lane and the other, not so much. “I want to move at a slow pace and see what happens (going with the flow)”…what does that really mean? We are having sex already, right? Sometimes the general pace of a relationship flows pretty easily on its own, but sometimes you wind up with speed bumps, and you may need to direct your relationship traffic with a little more effort and intention. Either partner has the right and the ability to turn on a green, yellow or red light at any time. If you find you’re feeling rushed or stilted -- or that the pace of your relationship just isn’t in your control -- stop where you are and evaluate things. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. Determine what pace is more comfortable for you and how to get to the same outcome. You need to feel safe in your relationship at all times. Life is for enjoyment. So relax and enjoy your partner.

Tell us what you think….

Upcoming Topics Include –The Shenanigan Chick – who is she?Could cohabitation lead to a good healthy marriage?If you like to send us your comments we will post them in the next B List. Until next time…

Crystal Hart is an avid photographer and enjoys sketching in her spare time. She is an entrepreneur who is single. She has created a relation-ship blog displaying her journey. She graduated from Michigan State University. She is currently working on an Internet Marketing company.

Monica Hickson is a freelance writer who also doubles as an IT instructor at the University of Michigan and an adjunct professor for other colleges. She has been divorced for almost 3 years and has been adjusting to the” single-hood”. She graduated from Wayne State and Central Michigan University. She is cur-rentlyworkingonherfirstbook.

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Your Specialist for Windshield Repair &

Windshield Replacement 3322 W. Davison Avenue

Detroit, MI 48238 Office: 313-868-0800

Fax: 313-868-2120

Vehicle Glass & Auto Body: Auto Sales

Insurance Claims Accepted Collision and Auto Repair Car/Truck Rims & Tires Call us for a quote today

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Call: (313) 309-0500 ORVisit: bbbsdetroit.org

Start Something

Sign up today to be a Mentor!

Sportswear and accessories for men and women underground music, books, dvds, hats, scarfs, skullies,

hoodies, jeans, t-shirts, sunglasses, outerwear, sterling silver

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phone: 313.963.6886or shop online @www.spectaclesdetroit.com

store hours:monday - saturday 11am-6pm

[email protected] facebook.com/spectaclesdetroit

Are you prepared for an emergency like this? If not, I can help!

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www.motteplifewalk.org“Extending life through organ and tissue donation... one step at a time”

For more information 800.482.4881 or email us at:

th14 Annual

July 23, 2011Saturday

[email protected]

The Gift of Life MOTTEP LIFE Walk/Run is the largest fundraising event promoting organ and tissue donation in the state of Michigan. Our event is attended by more than 1,000 individuals, including members of the medical profession, major corporations, media personalities, politicians, donor family members, and transplant recipients. The 2010 event featured the Gift of Life Michigan Parade Float entitled "Make a World of Difference” and Walk/Run Marshal Donald Arthur (heart recipient), of New York, who was featured on the 2011 Rose Parade Donate Life Float. Gift of Life MOTTEP's Walk/Run successfully attracts new attendees to the event each year. It's an excellent opportunity for those unfamiliar with our organization to experience the effects of our lifesaving work.

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Save The Date!5K Walk & 5K / 10K Run

10

www.motteplifewalk.org“Extending life through organ and tissue donation... one step at a time”

Historic Belle Isle (Casino) Detroit MIRegistration begins at 7:30 am

Run begins at 8:30 amWalk begins at 9:00 am

S te p p i n ’ U p The Game !

th14 Annual

July 23, 2011Saturday

2011 Honorary ChairsDr. Reginald Eadie, President & CEO Detroit Receiving Hospital

Gary Brown, Detroit City Council President Pro TemDiana & Glenda Lewis, WXYZ-TV Channel 7 Detroit

the b-list may 2011- cover story "where r u juan atkins?"

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