the child's experience the child's experience foundations 48 conference anne r. gearity,...
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The child's The child's experienceexperience
THE CHILD'S EXPERIENCETHE CHILD'S EXPERIENCEFoundations 48 conference Foundations 48 conference
Anne R. Gearity, PhDAnne R. Gearity, PhD March 24, 2014 March 24, 2014
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A tale of two A tale of two sisterssisters
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Primary experience: Primary experience: where is my parent?where is my parent?
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Double whammy
• FEAR of danger, of being hurt, of feeling terrified or confused, without support.
• FEAR of losing the parent I know, of losing connection with sensations, with what is familiar to me.
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What is safety?What is safety?
It cannot be just physical protection...It cannot be just physical protection...
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What children need from CPS
• Rescue from danger
• Explanation of what's happening now/ immediate safety.
• Recognition of ambiguous loss.
• Narrative about what just happened, in language that makes sense to them: age appropriate explanations.
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What children need: 48 hours
• Reassurance about adult availability: if you can't be with the one you love, (trust) the one you are with.
• Confirmation about what happened and (when possible) clarification about parental motive and intention.
• Some hope of future care-- especially how you will help their parent.
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Developmental needs• Infants: the feel of care; familiar routines,
expectations.
• Toddlers: routines that calm me; predictable and reliable attention.
• Preschoolers: what is the same, what is different?; caregiving that permits them to feel active and a little in charge.
• School aged children: holding onto what I can do myself; access to school, learning, mastery.
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Developmental experiences of loss
• Infants: routine and familiar experiences in my body, with my parent.
• Toddlers: leaving and coming back to safe base-- but she (he) left me.
• Preschoolers: interrupted autonomy-- am I on my own?
• School aged: disruption on life: how do I keep learning?
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What children need to hear...
• A coherent narrative has to affirm the child's experience, and acknowledge the child's need and love for their parent.
• CPS staff provide the organization that allow children to make sense of their experiences.
• When the parent is also a victim the child needs to know that adults must still protect children but may need help to know how.
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What parents need to hear...
• In the immediate crisis parents need to know how events have impacted their children.
• Parents are often upset, defensive, angry, confused: while it is understandable that they are thinking of their own situation, we need to help them see their children's experience.
• When parents are preoccupied with their own distress, or dismiss their children's needs, repair is difficult.
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Contact while in careContact while in care
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Recovery from Recovery from danger and danger and disruptiondisruption
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• Keep the reality of the endangering event. This is what the child knows...
• Help parents recognize how experiences impact their children--and believing that children do remember, do feel danger.
• Balance parents' feelings of anger, vulnerability with their responsibility to parent-- to provide safety and sense for their children. Mom job / dad job.
Be Be sure young children have sufficient adult mediationsure young children have sufficient adult mediation
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Teach about Teach about developmentdevelopment
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Children returning to care...
• Children's behavior problems have been identified as primary reason for return to care.
• Unmediated disruption and placement cause behavior symptoms.
• Provide mental health support for children to prevent or repair compromised developmental learning.
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For CPS to truly be helpful, For CPS to truly be helpful, Children need to know-- and Children need to know-- and feel--that help changed the feel--that help changed the
family.family.