Campus Events

Wed April 15, 2009

Earth Day Cookout

(11:30pm-1:30pm) -Cafeteria

FCA Bible Study Luncheon

(12pm-1pm) -Labry Hall Atrium

Wiffleball Game (6pm-8pm) -The Quad

Diva Fashion Show

(7:30pm-9:30pm) -Heydel Fine Arts Center

Late Night Snack

(9pm-10pm) -Lobby of Fine Arts Center

Thur April 16, 2009

Softball vs. Lindsey-Wilson

(1pm-4pm) -Softball Field

Scavenger Hunt

(6pm-8pm) -Mary White Lobby

Cooking W/ Chris and Ernest

(8pm-9:30pm) -Cumberland Dining Hall

Fri April 17, 2009

Field Day at Lunch

(11:30am-1pm) -The Quad

Sat April 18, 2009

Baseball vs. Trevecca (DH)

(12pm-6pm) -Woody Hunt Stadium

Mon April 20, 2009

Spring Band Concert

(7pm-9pm) -Heydel Fine Arts Center

Tues April 21, 2009

Lunch and Learn Workshop

(1:30pm-2:30pm) -Labry Hall 209

Kickball on the Quad

(6pm-7pm) -The Quad

All Week Events

All Stressed Out Workshops

Spring Fling Week

More information on any

of these events can be

found online at:

http://www.cumberland.e

du/campuslife/calendar.

The Cumberland ChronicleThe Cumberland ChronicleThe Cumberland ChronicleThe Cumberland Chronicle

April 15, 2009 Cumberland University, Lebanon, Tennessee Vol. IV Issue 10

Reflections On A Student Newspaper By Rick Brown

As the Cumberland Chronicle finishes its publication run for the Spring 09 semester, all of here at the paper cannot help but look back on a sometimes triumphant, sometimes difficult year.

This year we celebrated the fourth volume of the Chronicle, and also saw a number of new writers and columns: Savannah Nix joined our ranks with her amusing, incisive commentary, and “From the Margins” became a standard column. This year also saw a gradual refinement of our layout and distribution system, all of which have aided us in getting the Chronicle from our keystrokes to your hands.

Ultimately, however, the Chronicle was a paper of people. Each of our writers contributed something unique this year, Sabrina Garrett, our fashion columnist, giving us wardrobe “do’s” and “don’t’s,” Ben Briscoe, our campus correspondent and editor, giving us the scoop on student events, Savannah Nix, our book reviewer, giving us a scathing indictment of Beer and Loathing, and Jeremiah Donnell, our voice of irreverence, giving us the dissenter’s view on modern trends.

Indeed, we cannot help but miss our graduating writer, Mr. Donnell. Our resident editorialist, Donnell will graduate at the end of the semester, leaving a legacy of always witty, always irreverent skewering of modern culture in his editorial column behind him. We will miss him dearly, and wish him the best in his endeavors beyond Cumberland.

With a new semester, however, comes new possibilities for an even greater Cumberland Chronicle, and you can be a part of that. If you’ve ever wanted your opinion in print, had information to share about a hobby or interest, wanted to write a news or life column, or simply wanted to pan a horrible movie, then you are a perfect candidate to become a Chronicle writer. All you need to do is email us at cumberlandchronicle@gmail.com.

Whatever happens, all of us at the Chronicle wish you, the Cumberland University student, a pleasant exam week, a decent final grade, and a warm, forgetful summer.

From the Margins By Rick Brown Email: fromthecumargins@gmail.com

Kim Jong-il Launches Back

Into Relevance On April 5th, the North Korean government performed a defiant missile launch which provoked an intense political furor. At a speech in Prague one day after an American missile strike killed thirteen Pakistanis, American President Obama condemned the bloodless launch, calling for a “strong international response” and stating that North Korea will never attain respectability “through threats and illegal weapons.” Japan, South Korea, and the European Union quickly followed suit, decrying the launch as an aggressive action that violates earlier U.N. agreements sanctioning North Korea. The U.N. Security Council (UNSU) met soon after to begin formulating potential sanctions in response, and Japan has already tightened its sanctions against the bedraggled nation. In the launch’s political aftermath, the future of North Korea is uncertain, much like the facts of the event itself, but the launch may ironically prove to be of advantage to Kim Jong-il’s government. Long before the launch occurred, the North Korean government prepared internally and diplomatically for its ramifications. On March 12th, North Korea signed the Outer Space Treaty and Registration Convention, and soon after informed several international bodies of its intentions to perform the launch. Its purpose, according to North Korean sources, was simple: to place the Kwangmyŏngsŏng-2, or Bright Star-2, an experimental communications satellite, into orbit. Other governments, however, were extremely wary of that explanation, and as the launch came closer and closer to fruition, Japan, South Korea, and the U.S. all stationed naval forces in the Sea of Japan beneath the launch’s intended flight path, threatening to bring the rocket down if it threatened Japanese territory. Even before the launch occurred, many governments’ eyes fell upon North Korea, which was, of course, North Korea’s point. The launch itself occurred at 11:20am on April 5th, taking place at the Tonghae Satellite Launching Ground in northern North Korea. After launch, the rocket flew over the Japanese islands and the Pacific Ocean, flying approximately two thousand miles. (Continued on page 4)

Spring Exam

Schedule

The Spring 2009 semester has been a fine one, but nothing lasts forever. With the semester coming to a close, it’s time to start thinking about final exams. Below is a partial listing of the Spr. 2009 exam schedule. April 24th, Friday: 9-11am: Classes meeting at 10:00 MWF 1-3pm: Classes meeting at 12:00 MWF 4-6pm: Classes meeting at 2:00 MWF

April 25th, Saturday:

All Saturday Classes

April 27th, Monday:

9-11am: Classes meeting at 8:00 MWF 1-3pm: Classes meeting at 1:00 MWF 6-8pm: All Monday evening classes.

For the remaining dates

and times, visit:

http://www.cumberland.

edu/graduate/resources.

Quote of the Week

“Life is bristling with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to cultivate one's garden.”

- François-Marie Arouet (Voltaire)

The Cumberland Chronicle April 15, 2009 Page 2

Fashion, Relationships, & Sage Advice

Fashion Corner With Sabrina Garrett

Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP

Gwyneth Paltrow is most famous for her roles in movies like Shakespeare in Love and Iron Man but recently she has become known for her heart of gold. On the actresses’ website www.goop.com, she announced that she will be doing some spring cleaning and selling pieces from her highly-coveted wardrobe on eBay to raise money for a good cause.

Although in the past, GOOP and its creator have been attacked for producing “rubbish”, Paltrow has turned the website into something beneficial: “I felt like I had a lot of really useful information that I was privileged enough to get, because I have this amazing, super, fortunate life. …It’s a harmless [news]letter that goes out each week.”

This week she confirmed her decision to donate numerous luxury items which she has publicly worn including black Burberry sandals, multiple Chanel, Valentino and Chloe bags and dresses Yves Saint Laurent, Michael Kors and Prada to the Robin Hood Foundation. “I thought maybe I would eBay some of my favorite and most treasured things to raise some money for the Robin Hood Foundation, who do a lot of amazing work in New York City,” she wrote. The foundation has been targeting poverty in NYC since 1988 and helps people

get education, pregnancy prevention, and food among other things.

Editorials

Taxing Vices By Jeremiah Donnell

As Federal spending approaches absurd proportions, tax revenues will no doubt be called upon to offset a larger and larger amount of the national deficit. However, the peasants will no doubt revolt if taxes are increased in the middle (or perhaps just the beginning) of the worst economic downturn in almost thirty years. The answer lies in one group of taxes that can be indiscriminately increased and still yield staggering returns without eliciting the slightest public outrage – sin tax. Some even feel the time has come to expand the range of legal, and therefore taxable, vices. Some of the existing products subject to excise tax include tobacco, alcohol, and various luxury items. The latter two seem to have escaped the brunt of current desperation, though many wish to include wine in grocery stores to increase sales. Cigarettes, on the other hand, have been subjected to repeated increases as the result

of what must the greatest failure of the lobbyist system in U.S. history. The justification for this increase consists of two, contradictory elements. The money raised will be used to provide medical insurance for every sickly child in America. Also, the more expensive price is designed to provide motivation for smokers to quit. But who could be heartless enough to quit smoking, no matter the price, if that means all of those little children will die of assorted terrible diseases? Advocates for legalized marijuana and prostitution are also taking advantage of the recession to grind their respective axes. Pot smokers from across the country claim that if it was legalized and taxed, everyone’s problems would be solved. A rather obvious problem with this theory emerges with the probability that marijuana would be classified as a drug and therefore only obtainable via prescription, involving doctors, pharmacists, and insurance companies. Now, pot is cheap, strong, and readily available, but let the FDA get involved and buzzkill will not even begin to describe the situation. As for ladies of the evening, a Federal bill has been proposed

adding a five dollar tax to each transaction where prostitution is already legal, in what I hope will come to be known as the “Obama Tax.” What better tribute could be made to Lincoln than his image being used to represent government acceptance and exploitation of prostitution. While thinking outside of the norm in search of taxable behaviors, a few more logical choices come to mind. Because cigarettes are so dangerous and therefore discouraged with high taxes, why not bungee jumping, rock climbing, driving, flying in airplanes, traveling, and other “risky” behaviors? In fact, if a method could be developed for taxing stupidity, redistribution of wealth and Darwinism would combine into a veritable utopia. Of course, if the federal government really needs fast money, a tax on whining could finance any extravagance. Imagine if everyone who lamented their lot in life, love, job, past, lack of sleep, and so on had to pay taxes on it. All other taxes could be abolished and maybe, just maybe, they would shut up. Ideally, criticism and mockery would not be on that list, or I could not afford to live in this country.

Nashville Screenwriters Conference to Give Special Student Rate

In a city filled with creative talent, Nashville provides the ideal setting for the Nashville Screenwriters Conference (NSC) to be held May 29 - 31, 2009 at the historic downtown Union Station Hotel. Now in its eleventh year of bringing Hollywood to Nashville, the highly acclaimed and open-to-the-public event provides aspiring screenwriters and individuals interested in film and TV the chance to network, learn and explore professional opportunities within these industries.

Don't miss what Script Magazine calls "one of the best screenwriters conferences in America." Tickets are VERY reasonably priced, and there will be a special student rate this year. Take advantage of early registration discounts by ordering before May 28. Walk-up tickets will be available but space is limited. This is a rare opportunity to meet with and learn from industry leaders and insiders. For the latest information or to purchase tickets, visit www.nashscreen.com.

The Cumberland Chronicle April 15, 2009 Page 3

Reviews & Such

Logan’s Run A Film Review by Rick Brown

The seventies were an excellent decade for science fiction films. In the space of a single decade, countless classics emerged, some of which, such as Alien, Star Wars, and THX 1138, have proven timeless. Still others have emerged as more narrow testaments to the unique style of the era, however, and perhaps no seventies sci-fi film is more reminiscent of its age than Logan’s Run, released in 1976. Directed by Michael Anderson, the Saturn Award winning film, based on an earlier book by William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson, is a veritable symbol of its age. Colorful, extravagantly visual, and dominated with concerns of youth, the film is a classic of seventies science fiction and an icon of science fiction’s wide-ranging infiltration of pop culture. Logan’s Run has a plot that has become iconic. In the twenty-third century, young people live in a great domed city safe from the war and overpopulation ravaged world. Free from work and content to gratify themselves with endless sex and narcotics, the youth live in a hedonistic utopia with but a single requirement: that they are “renewed” via the process of Carousel at the age of thirty. Those who attempt to escape their “Lastday” in the vaporization of Carousel – runners – fall prey to the city’s authorities, Sandmen, who terminate all who try to escape. Logan 5 (Michael York) is such a sandman, and enjoys his job immensely until he is ordered to infiltrate the runner underground to find an apparently mythic “Sanctuary.” Encountering Jessica 6 (Jenny Agutter), a potential runner with underground contacts, Logan soon escapes from the city, pursued by his former friend Francis 7 (Richard Jordan) as he encounters strange events in his pursuit of Sanctuary.

If Logan’s Run is anything, it is a film of visuals. Colorful yet antiseptic models convey the majesty and bustle of the domed city, and mall-like interiors stress the deceptive utopia’s sterile but efficient hedonism. The film’s visual design is

prominent, almost overwhelmingly so, and although the film’s effects and sets have not aged well, they are quite fascinating in their own right. The milieu of Logan’s Run is well realized, and its arresting images – such as its endless recreation areas, scantily clad, mindlessly happy denizens, and red, floating clouds of drugs – are simply iconic. The film’s Carousel sequence is its crucial set piece, and is simply visually amazing, depicted as it is with a small cloud of willing victims, complete with skull-like masks and painted flame gowns, floating above a giant rosette in the floor, rising inexorably upward as they explode one by one. Logan’s Run simply shines in its bizarre, kaleidoscopic imagery. The film’s setting is also intriguing and well realized – the horror of its dystopia is uniquely age related, and obviously reflects the youth unrest of the sixties and the uncertain future of the seventies. Its central idea – of perfect, contained, blissful equilibrium accomplished simply through mass, continual executions – is fascinating. The acting is also generally decent. York is quite good as Logan, believably cocky if not necessarily always convincingly conflicted. Agutter contributes what she can to a thankless role, but her function is mostly to be a beautiful complement to Logan. Jordan’s Francis 7 character works well as Logan’s loyal but initially lackadaisical fellow Sandman. All pale in comparison to Peter Ustinov, however, whose Old Man is the most enjoyable aspect of the film. Jerry Goldsmith’s score is also interesting, contrasting the dystopian city and the idyllic countryside with an interesting mélange of brutal electronic and gentle orchestral arrangements, providing the film with music appropriate for its occasionally saccharine pretensions. Logan’s Run’s problems are, of course, equally prominent. The film is often unintentionally amusing, especially in trotting out

of clichéd sci-fi tropes – the homicidal robot, the computer that cannot “compute” its findings, etc. The film also has a notably sleazy element, including a disco-orgy scene and two gratuitous nude scenes for Jessica. The film’s message is basically conservative as well – beyond youth and hedonism laid lifelong marriage commitments and the American flag – but is so heavy handed that it’s more amusing than insulting. Some of the acting is also rather humorous. Logan’s “Carousel is a lie!” speech reaches a Heston-like fervor, and Farrah Fawcett’s Holly conveys emotion through her hair, which is to say, vacuously but in large strokes. If the film has any truly irritating flaw, however, it lies in its inability to confront the true horror of its dystopia. The film’s Carousel is truly horrific, but the film leaves much of that horror behind when it leaves the domed city of its first half, and the question of whether a former Sandman can truly be redeemed is never lastingly considered. Logan’s Run was panned when first released, and it’s hardly difficult to see why: the film is loosely plotted, sometimes silly, and far more visual than intellectual. Not as many people have actually seen Logan’s Run as know about it, but its iconic imagery – its palm crystals, ruined Washington, D.C., and Carousel – its unforgettable, and much of its images and terms have become symbols of seventies pop culture. Logan’s Run is a flawed, sometimes unintentionally humorous, but occasionally thoughtful and visually arresting science fiction classic, and one imagines that it would be even better known today if it was not eclipsed by a little known film that emerged in 1977: Star Wars.

Hitchcock Receives Library

Association Honor

Cumberland University congratulates Eloise Hitchcock, director of the Doris & Harry Vise Library at CU, on her recent selection as the 2009 recipient of the Tennessee Library Association's Frances Neel Cheney Award.

The award recognizes a significant contribution to the world of books and librarianship. Frances Neel Cheney was known nationally for her publications featuring annotated bibliographies of reference materials and was the head of the Reference Department at Vanderbilt University and a professor and administrator at the Peabody School of Library Science.

"We're very proud of Eloise and grateful to count her as a member of the Cumberland University community," Dr. Pete Peterson, CU Vice President for Academic Affairs, commented. "She's been active in promoting library reading programs and has also published bibliographies and edited resource reviews for several journals."

Hitchcock was also selected to receive the award due to her past achievements and ongoing enthusiasm in encouraging the love of books and reading, according to the Tennessee Library Association (TLA). The award was presented during the TLA 2009 Conference, recently held in Nashville.

Ballroom Dance Classes Begin Soon Cumberland University will offer a

Ballroom Dancing course beginning on Tuesday, April 21. The class will meet at 7 p.m. for six consecutive Tuesdays in Baird Chapel.

The course will be led by Anthony Angelo, a dance instructor with Brentwood's National Dance Club and a CU student. A native of Providence, R.I., Angelo began dancing at age 10 and began studies in Ballroom Dancing during the summer of 2001. He has worked as a dance host for Carnival, Celebrity and Holland America cruise lines and has taught throughout the mid-state area.

The cost for the six-week course is $60 per individual and $120 per couple. Please contact Camille Bone at 615.547.1241 by April 20 in order to reserve a spot in what's sure to be a fun experience!

The Cumberland Chronicle April 15, 2009 Page 4

Athletics & Issues

This Week’s Featured Sport: Women’s Tennis

Bulldawgs Post Two Victories

Natasha Yakimovich and Bea Mompó-Rebaque both defeated ranked players in singles and teamed up for a win over a ranked doubles opponent, as 25th-ranked Cumberland defeated Martin Methodist and Georgetown College this week in women’s tennis action.

Cumberland (8-5) defeated MMC on the road Wednesday and won Thursday at home over Georgetown, running its winning streak to three. The Bulldogs moved into the national rankings three weeks ago at No. 23 and stand No. 25 this week in the NAIA Women's Tennis Coaches’ Top 25 Poll.

In Wednesday’s 9-0 victory in Pulaski, Yakimovich and Mompó-Rebaque, ranked eighth in doubles in the ITA National Rankings announced last week, defeated Anastasia Aleshcheva and Natalia Takara, 8-0, at No. 1, while teammates Emily Jacobs and Kerinn Meisenbach won 8-1 at No. 2 over Camilla Hovden and Mikaela Long. Courtney Schaub and Amber Johnson posted an 8-1 triumph at No. 3 over Fidelina Diaz and Allison Winters.

In singles ninth-ranked Yakimovich stayed undefeated this spring with a 6-0, 6-2, victory over Aleshcheva at No. 1, while Mompó-Rebaque won 6-0, 6-2, at No. 2 over Long. Schaub posted a 6-4, 6-0, triumph against Takara at No. 3 and Jacobs defeated Stanford, 6-3, 6-4, at No. 4. Meisenbach won 6-1, 6-2, over Diaz at No. 5 and Johnson posted a 6-0, 6-2, victory at No. 6 against Winters.

In Thursday’s 8-1 home triumph, Yakimovich and Mompó-Rebaque defeated 14th-ranked Emily Kerrick and Adrienne Bartlett, 8-3, at No. 1, but Georgetown’s Sarah Yost and Bianca Rugimbana won 9-8 (5) over Jacons and Meisenbach at No. 2. Schaub and Johnson posted an 8-1 triumph

at No. 3 over Megan Watts and Megan Mars.

In singles Yakimovich defeated 41st-ranked Kerrick, 6-0, 6-1, at No. 1 and Mompó-Rebaque won 6-2, 7-5, over 33rd-ranked Bartlett at No. 2. Schaub posted a 6-4, 6-4, triumph over Yost at No. 3 and Jacobs won 1-6, 6-2, 10-5, at No. 4 over Rugimbana. Meisenbach defeated Watts, 6-0, 6-1, at No. 5 and Johnson posted a 6-1, 6-4, triumph over Mars at No. 6.

Cumberland hosts Western Kentucky Monday at 3 p.m. and Bethel College Tuesday at Noon to end the regular season before playing in the NAIA Qualifying Tournament in Springfield, Ill., April 16-18.

Athlete Spotlight

CU Goes Back to England — May 2010 Eight Days! Nine Nights! In London with Day Trips to Stratford, Bath, & Kent!

Highlights include: Westminster Abbey, St. Paul’s Cathedral, Canterbury Cathedral, The National Portrait Gallery, The New Globe Theatre, The British Museum, Jack the Ripper Late Night Tour, 2 LIVE theater Performances, Stratford Upon Avon, The White Cliffs of Dover, Stonehenge, Salisbury, and Bath.

Memories for a Lifetime (airfare, hotel, entrance fees, & most meals included).

Make Your Reservations NOW! Payment plans available! Come One, Come All! Open to all CU students, faculty, staff, family, and friends!

To make your reservation and receive detailed information, contact: Dr. Michael Rex,

mrex@cumberland.edu, 615-547-1329.

Kim Jong-il Launches

Back Into Relevance (Continued from Page 1)

According to the North Korean government, the launch was an unqualified success, the Bright Star-2 successfully reaching orbit, where it is now broadcasting such famous patriotic songs such as the “Song of General Kim Il-sung.” Days afterward, otherwise dour North Koreans massed in a celebration of the rocket’s success, and a thin, defiantly emaciated Kim coincidentally made his first public appearance in nearly a year at the nation’s parliament, where he was unanimously reelected as the supreme military leader of his nation. Kim, according to the ruling party’s official newspaper, apparently witnessed the launch and, befitting his eminently humanitarian nature, “felt regret for not being able to spend more money on the people's livelihoods and was choked with sobs.” Such patriotic passion was not shared by the U.S., Japan, and South Korea, all of which almost immediately argued that the North Korean account of the launch’s events was entirely false. According to the three nations, the launch was little more than a cover for yet a long-range missile test. The three governments also asserted that the launched failed completely, stating that the rocket and its payload had simply fallen into the Pacific Ocean. Russian Space Control agreed, bluntly stating that the satellite “simply is not there.” Most western and western-allied governments went still further, calling the launch a threat to the surrounding region and a violation of UNSU Resolution 1718, which explicitly forbids any North Korean testing of ballistic

missiles, responding with a haste and conviction that apparently eluded them during Israel’s earlier theoretically illegal usage of white phosphorous and indiscriminate bombing during its invasion of Gaza. Those reactions, however, are ironically exactly what Kim needs. Apparently ill, Kim was alleged to have had a stroke in August, after which he remained conspicuously absent from public events. His triumphant return, accompanied by a possibly (and according to the Koreans, quite) successful satellite launch, is likely a direct addressing of international speculation that his rule, which is alleged by many analysts to be fueled by a cult of personality, is tenuous at best. If that is so, than North Korea’s missile launch was actually a propaganda coup. According to Reuters, the launch has already granted Kim immense political benefits – Kim’s domestic popularity has quickly boosted at a critical time for the “Great Leader,” who has slowly been radically reorganizing his government. If Kim has done anything, he has returned to international prominence in style, riding the Bright Star-2 back to global influence. North Korea, however, is likely to suffer further sanctions for its defiant missile launch, but the event’s message is clear and empathic. The missile launch has allowed North Korea to flex its muscle, however poorly, to Obama’s administration, and the nation’s ally China, along with Russia, are likely to veto any movements to further sanction the nation. North Korea has already threatened to pull out of further nuclear talks if further sanctions are imposed, following its earlier policy of quiet belligerence. With the launch of the Bright Star-2, North Korea has become momentarily important again to world governments, even if only as a target for condemnation. In that respect, in the short run, Kim has actually won. Whether the North Korea people have lost, of course, is likely to him, as well as to most global governments, purely incidental.

“Courtney Schaub

posted four victories in

singles and doubles in

CU's triumphs over

Martin Methodist and

Georgetown College

this week, defeating

Natalia Takara and

Sarah Yost in

individual matches.”