Llama Lesson

The Difference Between a Fast Llama and a Slow Llama

Why do they comply with the teacher next door and not with you?

When the teacher next door tells her students to do something, for the most part, they comply without complaint.

Every time you instruct the students to do something, it turns into a battle.

And it’s not just an isolated class or two. It seems to happen all day.

What is that teacher doing differently than you? For one, that teacher, my friend, is a fast llama, complete with all of the accessories that go with fast llamahood.

Let’s examine some everyday situations and how fast llamas and slow llamas handle these situations in such a different manner.

All teachers, whether they admit or not, have a distinct way of gaining the attention of their students. It is very important that you use some type of call to attention with very clear expectations for what you want the students to do when you ask for their attention.

Some teachers simply stand in front of the class and say, “Listen up.” At that point the class comes to attention in a way that would make the most seasoned drill sergeant happy.

On the other hand, other teachers have a very elaborate call to attention. However, the vast majority of the students ignore the teacher and continue to do whatever it was they were doing in the first place. The teacher has all of the presence of an annoying fly that occasionally buzzes by and gets swatted away.

So, what are they doing differently?

Llama Situation #1:

Getting their Attention

Llama Situation #1:

Getting their Attention

Your Voice

Fast llamas use a different voice when they get the students’ attention. It is not necessarily louder, but it has an authority to it that is very distinct.

Slow llamas tend to ask for the students’ attention in a weak and ineffective voice.

There is nothing wrong with your natural voice when you speaking to your students. However, if you are somewhat quiet and shy, this can be mistaken for weakness or lack of commitment when you give a command or direction to the students.

Therefore, if you are having trouble getting their attention, pause for a moment before you use your call to attention. When you deliver your call to attention, deliver it in a slightly louder and more commanding voice. Let there be no doubt in your voice that you are expecting all students to come to attention. This is not a mean voice—just a voice that is firm, confident, and insistent.

Llama Situation #1:

Getting their Attention

Commitment

Fast llamas realize that they must be completely ready and completely committed when they seek to gain the attention of the whole class.

Slow llamas are not fully prepared when they use their call to attention. They are not prepared or committed to saying it and ensuring that all students comply.

Before you get the attention of your students to begin speaking or teaching, pause for a moment and get ready. Be fully committed to the fact that every single time you get the attention of your students, you must show them that you mean it.

Therefore, pause, use your call to attention, pause, and scan the room to ensure that students comply.

Why? Your little llama life depends on it!

A million times a day (okay, admittedly a bit of an exaggeration), times 175 days, you are going to have to be able to gain the attention of your class, whether they are KG students or seniors.

And if you can’t get their attention for even one time, it is going to be a long year.

Treasure your call to attention as you would a winning lottery ticket. If you use it, you must be willing to protect it with your life.

Llama Situation #2:

Student does something wrong.

Your Reaction

Fast llamas always remain cool, calm, and collected when students misbehave and even when students really misbehave.

Slow llamas immediately go into crisis mode when students misbehave. You can see them lose their cool, get tense, melt down, and panic.

Fast llamas are very sure of themselves. They are very confident in their position as the leader of the class.

This whole llama/tiger thing, as crazy as it sounds, is real! The students of the fast llamas just know that the fast llama is in charge and have no doubt about being in charge. You can hear it in their voice. You can see it in the way they walk and stand.

While the fast llama is vigilant, the fast llama is also relaxed. The fast llama is quick to smile. The fast llama is at ease and comfortable.

Slow llamas have a tendency to allow everything to appear to become a crisis. They seem to constantly be operating in crisis mode.

Fast llamas recognize when a crisis is truly a crisis. The rest of the stuff, like kids (tigers) testing the boundaries, that’s normal! It’s been happening since the beginning of time. It’s not a crisis when kids make bad choices. That’s how they learn.

Fast llamas do not walk around in crisis mode.

Llama Situation #2:

Student does something wrong.

Your Reaction-Part 2

Fast llamas never take it personally when kids misbehave.

Slow llamas take it personally. They will try to convince you that they don’t, but deep down they believe that the student is misbehaving to deliberately ruin the teacher’s day. (By the way, we all feel that way sometimes.)

In the last couple of weeks, I have had the opportunity to be in several middle schools. Out of all of the students I have had the opportunity to work with, middle school is my favorite. You want to know why?

There’s a purity to middle school kids. This is truly the time when they are stretching out their wings, testing the boundaries, and learning to fly. They also have reached the age when there is nothing more important in the world to them than impressing their fellow middle-schoolers.

Therefore, they will do some seriously crazy tiger stuff.

And you know what? None of it is personal. None of it has anything to do with you as the teacher.

Don’t believe me? Then conduct the following experiment.

Go hang out at your local Wal-Mart on an evening or weekend and wait until you run into one of your biggest middle school troublemakers. What happens when you run into your students away from school in restaurants, convenience stores, etc.?

How do they act toward you then?

Now, I realize there can be exceptions to this point. I realize that if you catch one of your tigers while in the company of a large pack of other tiger friends, that this might be a poor example.

But when this student is alone or with parents and are shopping at the store, what is that student’s reaction when you are seen?

THEY TREAT YOU LIKE YOU ARE A ROCK STAR!

All of a sudden, their faces light up, they are ready to talk to you, and the generally make you feel like a member of the royal family.

So, why then on Monday, in your 3rd period class, are they back to acting like jerks?

Which is the real way that they feel about you? The class way? Or the Wal-Mart way?

I believe you know the answer to this.

What’s my point to this example?

I believe that the whole school thing, you know, the llama/tiger thing, is actually kind of a game.

It’s just what tigers do. They try you out.

I have actually grown to the point where I kind of enjoy and admire their efforts.

Don’t get me wrong. When they do really bad things, those are not things that make me snicker.

But when I see them do the normal tiger things that all groups of kids do, I take it for what it is: a kind of game.

It doesn’t mean I am going to let them get away with it. It just means that it is not going to ruin my day when the tigers are doing the normal things that they do in their efforts to test the llamas.

Why do the students in the next room comply when yours don’t?

That teacher doesn’t take things personally. That teacher realizes that it is just a normal part of the process of kids growing into adults.

Therefore, these teachers appear to be very comfortable in their surroundings. Students pick up on this and consider it strength.

Fast llamas act very sure of themselves, no matter what is happening. They have a good sense of humor.

They are able to appear somewhat easy-going but still be in control.

They project the feeling that everything is going to be all right.

Let yourself enjoy them. Be happy. Don’t operate in crisis mode.

If there is a real crisis, we will let you know. Tigers just being tigers is not a crisis.

Llama Situation #3:

Student Engagement During Lesson

Fast llamas have outstanding student engagement during the “presentation” part of a lesson. Students know that at any minute they may be called on to respond.

Slow llamas may be able to keep students quiet during the lesson, but students are generally not engaged.

When you get a chance, purchase and read the book, Teach Like a Champion.

This book is full of ways to help teachers in all areas of classroom management, as well as to help keep students actively engaged.

Watch these videos to learn questioning techniques that will keep student engaged.

“Cold Call” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY4l9J7V0QQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PARfIwF215k

“No Opt Out” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9v1yUoK9aAc

“Pepper” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEBzluja6kc

“Right is Right-Stretch It”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8P1o8y9ZXWY

There is a wealth of resources out there to help you become the best teacher you can be! Study what the great ones do!

Llama Situation #4:

Chaos Erupts Quickly

Good Systems vs. Bad Systems

Fast llamas never allow chaos to ensue in their classrooms. There are exceptional systems in place for everything, from the time students enter the classroom to the time students leave.

Slow llamas have no systems in place or the systems in place are ineffective.

Exceptional Systems

If your classroom is already out of control at this point of the year,

tomorrow is always a new day!

If you need to revamp how you are doing things, start with one

thing and work gradually toward change.

You must have a system for EVERYTHING.

You must leave nothing to chance.

This is true whether you are teaching high school or pre-k. They

are still kids in both settings. They still need and crave structure.

They are still dependent on you to create and maintain that

structure.

Your classroom and your school will be whatever the adults want it

to be. Students will rise as high as you want them to rise, or they

will sink as low as you allow to go.

Be warned, however: This philosophy requires a ton of work on your

part! It is much easier to NOT do the work and then blame the

students for what is essentially your responsibility and ultimately

your fault.

Want an example? Your group this year just can’t seem to handle

projects of any type that require them to be out of their seats and

move from place to place. “It just turns to chaos!” You find

yourself telling them, “We just cannot have any fun in this class!

Therefore, it’s worksheets for everyone!”

So, your class this year just can’t handle science experiments?

What systems did you put into place?

Here are rules about systems:

Rule #1 (and the most important):

• YOU must be 100% committed to your system.

• YOU must be 100% committed to teaching and practicing your

• system to PERFECTION.

• YOU must be 100% committed to the need for this system.

• YOU must be 100% committed to nicely but firmly enforcing

this system every single day and minute of the year.

And in the words of an old classic movie, “Cool Hand Luke” (watch it

sometime), YOU MUST “GET YOUR MIND RIGHT” ABOUT THE

FACT THAT IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND NOT THE KIDS

FOR HOW YOUR CLASSROOM AND SCHOOL IS SET UP AND

RUN! (DID I JUST USE TOO MANY CAPITAL LETTERS? I DID

SO TO AVOID USING PROFANE LANGUAGE TO MAKE THIS

POINT!)

Systems fail because people fail.

Systems fail because people fail.

Systems fail because people fail.

All work and no play make Johnny a dull boy (watch “The Shining”

when you get time as well-just not by yourself). Whoops, I got

distracted.

Systems fail because people fail.

Systems fail because we get too lazy to teach them and enforce

them.

Systems fail because when kids do the normal tiger thing of

challenging them, we think the systems are not working.

Systems fail because we don’t practice them enough. We think we

can do it for one day, and that’s enough.

Systems fail because we get lazy about enforcing them and insisting

that they are followed.

All it takes are just a few folks on our staff who don’t believe in the

need for our systems, and the systems will be undermined. These

folks should be fed to the tigers........not really.

SYSTEMS FAIL BECAUSE DEEP DOWN WE REALLY STILL HOLD

ON TO THE BELIEF THAT IT IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY AFTER

ALL. (%#@&%$........There-I feel better now.)

It’s these dang tigers they keep sending us.

Rule #2: A System for Everything

After failing so miserably as a first year teacher, being eaten daily

by the tigers, being shunned by any fellow llama who dared to even

look at me, I slowly began to create my own systems over the years

until I got to the point that folks thought I was a bit OCD about how

I ran my classroom.

I admit it. I was.

In other areas of my life, I was a complete slob. However, in the

classroom, I realized that I could not afford to be.

I am a llama. These are tigers. I don’t want to be eaten. Shoot me,

stab me, put something odd in my drink. But don’t allow me daily

to be slowly devoured, which is exactly what it feels like when you

can’t manage your classroom.

Therefore, in a nutshell (admittedly a large nutshell-more like a

coconut), here were some areas where I had systems. Feel free to

think of your own classroom as you scan this list of obsessive, over

the top, systems:

• Before school started, my room was impeccable. Everything

was in its place. Everything was ready to go. This was not

accomplished in the 2 work days that the state mandates. No.

I started in July. Don’t want to do that? Get ready to get

eaten.

• Do you have those teacher nightmares where the kids show up

and your boxes are still not unpacked? To top it off, you are

in your pajamas or worse? Welcome to the world of the llama.

Can you imagine the types of nightmares that llamas must

have? A little tightness in the hamstring? A stubbed hoof?

The other llamas playing a trick on you and running off and

leaving you?

• Everything is ready to go before any student arrives, without

exception. Be obsessive. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Watch

lots of National Geographic specials in which llamas are being

devoured by tigers. You need this in your mind.

• On the first day, I have your desk already ready. Your name is

on it. If I teach multiple classes, I have name cards ready for

each class. I tell you where to sit. In middle school or high

school, I have this on my document camera so that it shows

on the screen.

• No one enters my room without me standing at the door,

greeting that person, and allowing that person to enter. You

are entering my turf. With my greeting, I am giving

instructions as well, “Hi, David, great to see you, please go

straight to your desk and start on your bell work. When you

finish, please do what it says on the board. I appreciate you!”

In middle school or high school, students know where to find

the daily, “Do Now” that gives instructions for what they are to

do upon entry.

• You don’t get up, you don’t talk out, you don’t sharpen your

pencil, you don’t breathe, you don’t do anything without my

permission. I have a system for everything, and on the first

day of school we will begin learning these systems. We will

review them every day until we have them down perfectly. I

never will let up. It’s my turf. I am unashamedly the teacher.

I set the culture, not you.

• We pass out papers a certain way. We pass them in a certain

way. There are special procedures for when and how we get a

drink, go to the bathroom, how we get the teacher’s attention,

how we read our library book, how we use the whiteboard,

etc., etc., etc.

If this sounds a bit like a relic from a World War II prison camp,

keep this in mind: It is all done with love, dignity, and respect.

And do you want to know what the payoff is?

Once these systems are firmly planted and observed, school

becomes very fun!

You see, I can joke with them, they can laugh hysterically, because

I know how to get them back under control!

I can do cool projects with them, inside and outside, because they

know how to line up, when to get quiet, and how we do things in

general.

When it’s the day we get out for holidays, sure, my kids are excited.

But they are under control and learning, while the teacher next

door is thinking of bringing a torture device to school to control her kids.

School is fun. All they will remember about me is that it was fun.

Ending with the Painful Truth

My classroom will be what I want it to be. It is my responsibility.

Instead of blaming the kids, we just keep on creating exceptional

systems and modifying them until the systems near perfection!

Maybe your systems don’t work because:

• Deep down you don’t really believe this in the first place. It

must be the kids’ fault. Can’t be mine.......

• When the system is challenged, you are quick to go back to

the old and ineffective ways-“Must be the group of kids we

have this year.” “I hear that the group we will have in 2024 is

a good one.”

• You are lazy. You don’t want to work this hard. It’s easier to

blame the kids.

• You are not really committed to the systems because of all the

reasons above. And guess what, if you are not committed, the

systems won’t work! You will be justified in your thinking!

Eureka! You are a genius! Our kids ARE losers! They WON’T

amount to anything! It NEVER was your responsibility! They

WON’T go to college! People will hail you as a “savant”

because you knew all along!

Be a fast llama! Fast llamas have great systems!

Llama Situation #5:

“The kids hate my guts!”

“I want them to like me and follow me.”

Fast llamas are usually quite popular with the students. Student respect them and enjoy being in their classes.

Slow llamas inevitably see students continue to act up in their classrooms, even when the teacher is doing everything possible to get the kids to like them.

Ok, are you ready for something that seems to defy logic? Here goes:

In my first year, when I was researching 15th century torture devices while at the same time I was researching new career options, I was doing everything possible to get my rowdy students to like me. I begged, I bribed, I pleaded, I gave them extra recess, etc. But they seemed to hate my guts! I never could get them under control, so I considered passing out $20 bills to get them to be nice to each other and to me. (Since I signed my first contract for $9,000 per year, I don’t really know how I would have pulled this one off.)

They truly hated me! And I was doing everything I could to get them to like me.

After a year of this, and after my summer of love spent with all of the fast llamas of the world gleaning the knowledge of the experts, I approached my second year with a completely new perspective.

I decided to be the adult. I treated the students with dignity and respect, but I held them accountable as adults do with children.

And the strangest thing happened. They actually liked me!

Kids crave structure. Kids won’t say it, but they are begging you to be the adult.

The ultimate love that you can give to a child is to love that child enough to sometimes say, “No.”

Without this, children do not feel safe and loved. They can not stop

themselves. They need someone bigger and stronger than them to keep them in check. This is why they need you to be the adult.

When playing with your dogs, have you ever laid flat on the floor to play with them? What happened?

When I do this with my dogs, their behavior changes. Sometimes they will get really rough with me in ways that are unusual.

Do you know why? They think I am a dog, and all bets are off.

Dogs need me to be the adult (or in this case, the person).

They fully accept that I am in charge when I take the responsibility of being in charge.

Stop trying to get them to like you. Be the adult.

Be loving.

Be kind.

Treat them with dignity and respect.

Have a sense of humor.

Be quick to forgive.

Don’t hold grudges.

But have high expectations and insist that they comply.

If they start telling you, “Hey, miss, you’re strict,” take that as the ultimate compliment.

You have arrived.

Welcome to the world of the fast llamas.