the nitty-gritty of arguments

7/31/2019 The Nitty-gritty of Arguments

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The Nitty-Grittyof

Arguments!

Even in cases when theres no clear-cut right or wrong, but just dierences of opinion,its nice to fl that your opinion is more logical and aurate than the other persons.

Its a part ofhuman natureto want to flgd aboutyourself, tofl that youvegot a thefacts and wereable to come

to the rightconclusions.

Everybodylikes to be

right.

and itthen ends up

being a me vs. themtype of situation, even if

I didnt mean for itto get personal.

Just for your

information, Kyle,

I looked it uponline!

All right

then, but its

not necessary

to go raising

your voice.

DR.J.CHRIST

RELATIONSHIP

COUNSELING

When I getinto a disagrment

with someone, I flvery strongly about my

opinion,

Whatis it aboutarguments?

777


2/8

Remember, though, that its more important to preserve your relationship with thatperson than to prove a point.

Why is it so difficult to stop an argument?...

But thats the worst thing you can do, because eventuay you wi have to back down, and thelonger youve bn arguing, the more diicult that wi be.

...Sometimeseven though I know

that Im wrong, or theother person has thefacts on their side, Isti find it very hardto admit that and to

concede it.

One reason itsdiicult to stop an

argument is, like youpointed out,...

Even though theother person maybe a gd friendor someone youfl close to,

Okay.

Just dont

get sobentout ofshape.

I amnotraising my

voice!

...its toughadmiing thatyou may bewrong.

It sometimes even flslike it would be easier tokp arguing your point,

just for the sake of it.

Look ...

maybe youre

right. ...

your hurt flings could cloud yourvision and prevent you from sing things inas levelheaded a way as you normay would.

Bent out

of shape!!

Me?


3/8

You never beright a thetime, and therewi be plentyof argumentswhere youreactuay wrong.

Thesneryourewiing toadmit thatyoure inthe wrong,the easierit wi be.

If yourehaving a

disagrmentwith someone

and you realizethat your

opinion waswrong, maybe

because youdidnt s the

fu pictureor werent

aware of aof the facts,

admit that.

It may smlike the mostdiicult

thing to do,but in realityyoure savingyourself a lotof troublelater on.

look, I

feel bad that

were ruining

our day off

together

like this.

But I

just dont

see why you

have to come on

sostrong

Talk about

it!

Butyoubrought up

the subject.

What?

Yah. As

far as I was

concerned, it was

water under the

bridge.

Me too! Anon-issue.

WhyIhaveto? Have you ever

considered how

you are comingacross?


4/8

You dont nd to be calm and fuy focused in order to ask for My help, you simply nd toask for help and be wiing to do your part.

What if I dont feel I can stop just like that?

Do Youhave any tips

that could make iteasier for me?

Its just like

you to make a

mountain out of

a molehill.

So what

do you mean by

that? that its all

myfault?

when youre engagedin an argument with someone,

it can be especiay diicult toknow how to rstablish a

gd coection.

you can always sendup a plea for help.Ca on Me and say,Jesus, please helpme to end this.

Jesus,please help meto end this!

Please giveme humility,honesty, and

peace.

But even if you feel a lot of pent-up frustration and brewing hostility,


5/8

If you canhonestly admitthat you werewrong,

The two most important aspects of stopping anargument are humility and honesty.

then theargumentcan come toa close,...

and do soin a humble

and graciousmaer,

I can helpto releaseyou fromthe urgeto kparguing,andgive youcounselfor thatsituation.

So what was

that row about

that we had last

week?

Umm ... I

forget. ...

...and you wi most likelyhave kept a friend.

Sorry for

pushing my

point like that,

Kyle.

And

give me

some Ideas

on how to

go about

it. ...

And

forgive

me for

my stinkyattitude.


6/8

but a heated argument rarely solves anything,and you would often be wise to try to end it,even in those cases.

Often it doesnt maer at the time whos right andwhos wrong.

Okay, so thats if Im wrong. But what if Im surethat Im actually right, and that its the other

person who should back down?It cant

alwaysbe mewho gives

in! ...

Lets see.

Raisa could

be right

There wibe times when you

are right,

I dontthink youre

getting my point,Kyle!

Yes I am,

Raisa. inbolditalics!

!

?


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In the end, itis always more

productiveto end anargument

and be apeacemaker

than tocontinue with

an argumenteven though

you may beright.

Its natural to wantto fl vindicated

and like youveproven yourself

right, but it neveraomplishesas much as a

more diplomaticand easygoing

aroach.

so trying to badger theother person to take onyour views is pointle.

Eventuay the otherperson wi s whatis right,...

Its just that

youre so ...

oops!

Oh, hi

guys.

Umm ...

Kyle is

taking us for

a game of

soccer.

Er ...

Kyle...

Im sosorry. Please

forgive my attitude.

Have a nice time

with the kids.

Uh, Ry?

yes?

You know

I looked into

it a bit, and

It

seems

youre

right.


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The things done for love and in love live on.

You can be thebeer personby chsing todefend yourfriendship;

Whether youre right or wrong in the argument,give your pride the bt on this one!

that requires humility and being wiing to preserve your friendship over your pride.

Strive for love and unity:

and best of a theywork in your life toteach you to be a morehumble and lovingveel

they endurebeyondtoday,beyond themoment

the camaraderiegained wiprove far

more useful inyour life than

having won anargument.

a closerreflection of Me

to others.

An argument is sti anargument, regardle

of which side youredefending.

Youve

been with my

daughter about

five years now,

right?

Yes.

And what an

example of

humility...

Unityrules!

WHAM!

Like this

time when we

were having an

argument,

she...

A few years later

Originally published July 2008; adapted. Illustrations and layout by Jeremy.

Copyright 2012 by The Family International

the nitty-gritty of arguments

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