the pulse 13.17 » april 28, 2016

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SCREEN JUNGLE BOOK BEAR NECESSITIES ART SYMPHONIC SCHEHERAZADE MUSIC SCARLET LOVE CONSPIRACY CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE APRIL 28, 2016 COVER STORY THE ART OF URBAN GARDENING HOW COMMUNITY GARDENS MAKE THE CITY A BETTER PLACE By Sandra Kurtz & Joe Wilferth

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SCREEN

JUNGLE BOOKBEAR NECESSITIES

ART

SYMPHONICSCHEHERAZADE

MUSIC

SCARLET LOVECONSPIRACY

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVEAPRIL 28, 2016

COVER STORY

THE ARTOF URBAN

GARDENINGHOW COMMUNITY

GARDENS MAKE THECITY A BETTER PLACE

By Sandra Kurtz & Joe Wilferth

2 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 3

THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2016 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

Features4 BEGINNINGS: Chattanooga Roller Girls prepare for first bout of the season.

5 THE LIST: The most popular flowers.

10 SCREEN: Live-action and computer animation blend to make Jungle Book.

13 AIR BAG: Our car guy wonders what’s the wrong car for a hard job.

16 ARTS CALENDAR

19 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

20 MIXOLOGY: Honey infused liquors and cocktails for warm days.

24 MUSIC CALENDAR

26 REVIEWS: Atkinson and Cantu-Ledesma come together, McDonas amps up nuclear angst.

16 CONSIDER THIS

29 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

30 ON THE BEAT: Officer Alex weighs on in hypocritical “justice” activism.

EDITORIALManaging Editor Gary Poole

Editorial Assistant Brooke Dorn

Music Editor Marc T. Michael

Film Editor John DeVore

ContributorsDavid Traver Adolphus • Thom Benson

Rob Brezsny • Matt JonesSandra Kurtz • Ernie Paik

Rick Pimental-Habib • Ward Raymond Alex Teach • Joe Wilferth

Editorial InternsRebekah Jones • Ja'Lisa Little

CartoonistsMax Cannon • Rob Rogers

Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

Cover Photo Yasonya

FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

ADVERTISINGDirector of Sales Mike Baskin

Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Robyn Graves

Linda Hisey • Rick Leavell Stacey Tyler • Logan Vandergriff

CONTACT Offices

1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402Phone

423.265.9494Website

chattanoogapulse.comEmail

[email protected]

BREWER MEDIA GROUPPublisher & President Jim Brewer II

April 28, 2016Volume 13, Issue 17

6 The Art Of Urban GardeningGardeners have been itching to get their hands in the soil since

the first seed catalogs began arriving in the mail in February. People are mobbing garden centers to purchase young plants

for home flower and vegetable gardens.

14 A Thousand And One NightsScheherazade wants the nights to never end. If the mad king

Shahryar loses interest in the romantic stories Scheherazade tells, he will have her beheaded at dawn, as he has done to 1,000 other

brides. And so she tells stories, on and on, for her very life.

22 Inside The Scarlet Love ConspiracySome bands go through temporary phases in which they

experiment with new sounds or directions, generally returning to their roots before very long. Other bands intentionally

reinvent themselves every so often, though the number that manages to do so successfully is very small indeed. Then

there’s the Scarlet Love Conspiracy.

ContentsCHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

4 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

What do you get when you com-bine female empowerment, com-munity outreach, charity work, and roller skates? In this town, it means it’s Chattanooga Roller Girls time. This Saturday the Chattanooga Roller Girls will be skating their hearts out at the Chattanooga Conven-tion Center starting at 4 p.m.

They are introducing a new team, The B-Railers, who will be going up against the Nashville Music City Brawlsters. Following that match, The Chattanooga All-

stars will take on The Dixie Derby Girls, who hail from Huntsville, Alabama.

Not only will this event be full of fast-moving, elbow-jabbing, hol-

lering fun, but you can feel good about it while you watch. A portion of the pro-ceeds benefits Bike Walk Chattanooga.

Bike Walk Chattanooga is an or-ganization dedicated to making the streets of Chattanooga as safe as possible for pedestrians of all kinds—bikers, walk/runners, and anything else with legs or wheels.

NEWS • VIEWS • RANTS • RAVESUPDATES » CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM FACEBOOK/CHATTANOOGAPULSE

EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO [email protected]

Rollin’ Into First Place With Style & GraceChattanooga Roller Girls prepare for their first bout of the season

The Chattanooga Roller Girls came to be in 2008 as a way to lift up creative, strong, free-thinking women. And they wanted to do this through the art of skating. It didn’t happen overnight though. For the majority of 2008, the women were training, organizing, and learning the basics of the sport. Little to none of the women had any experience with roller derbies and had to grow into it quickly. By 2009, the women had formed a large enough team to be ready for their first real bout.

Chattanooga is known for its diversity, openness, and adventure and it was no surprise they welcomed the Chattanooga Roller Girls with open arms. Their debut bout was a packed event. Because of the fierce backing and support, the team was able to travel out of state to compete in places such as New Orleans, Huntsville, and Rome. No, not Rome, Italy, just the city in the good ole’ Peach State.

One of the best things about CRG, besides the fact of being hell on wheels and looking good doing it, is their pas-sion for the roller derby equals their passion for the Chattanooga community. Along with their involvement with Bike Walk Chattanoo-ga, they have used their platform to partner with Girls Inc. and The Humane Educational Society, and have been in support of the Chat-

tanooga Market. These women are passionate about the people of the city and the environment we live in.

Just a few more accolades and then you can go buy your tick-ets. In 2010, they were accepted into the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, or WFTDA apprenticeship program, which

left them one roll away from becom-ing a nationally competitive team. This status was well deserved. In 2013, they lived up to it by winning nine out of thir-teen bouts, many of which were a wipe-the-floor-with-you type sit-uation. All in the name of love and charity, of course. After these bouts, CRG was accept-ed as a full mem-

ber league into the WFTDA.If these skating ladies peak

your interest, come to the conven-tion center at 4 to watch it all take off, or shall we say, skate off.

For tickets to this all out roller bash, visit chattanoogarollergirls.com or brownpapertickets.com.

NEWS

REBEKAH JONES

BEG

INN

ING

S

“Chattanooga is known for its diversity,

openness, and adventure and it was no surprise they welcomed

the Chattanooga Roller Girls with

open arms.”

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 5

The Chattanooga Taiji Commu-nity will be hosting World Taiji Day, “an annual event held the last Saturday of April each year to promote the discipline of Taiji in nearly eighty countries around the world.”

Taiji, an ancient Chinese martial art, is a Mind-Body wellness promotion system. Prac-ticed all over the world, Tai-ji combines “gentle rhythmic movements, healthy breathing, relax-

ation and mental focus to reduce stress, build stamina, increase vitality,

and enhance the immune system.”

With so many ben-efits, Taiji sounds like the perfect way to keep your life balanced, centered, and serene. Chattanooga’s celebra-

tion of World Taiji Day will be open to the pub-

lic and begins at 10 a.m. this Saturday at the Tennessee

Aquarium Plaza. Demonstrations and

various forms of instruction of Taiji will be provided.

Educating curious individuals and newcomers alike on the health aspects of this ancient Chinese art remains the Chattanooga Taiji Community’s main goal, and demonstrating such a beauti-ful form of meditation will surely entice the crowd to learning more about the art’s benefits. Put on your comfiest meditation outfit and make your way to the World Taiji Celebration this Sat-urday to breathe in all that Taiji has to offer your mind, body, and spirit.

— Brooke Dorn

IN T

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EdiToonby Rob Rogers

A Mind-Body Celebration This Saturday

“Green” columnist Sandra Kurtz has long been active in environ-mental

education and activism. She founded Tennessee Environ-mental Education Associa-tion, created the first educa-tional programs at Chattanoo-ga Nature Center and TVA Energy Center Museum, and

started Bellefonte Efficiency & Sustainability Team. She has consulted with National Environmental Trust, Clear the Air, Global Action Plan, and Sierra Club. Currently she is Urban Century Institute director, South Chickamauga Creek Greenway Alliance co-chairman, TN Environmen-tal Council boardmember, Blue Ridge Environmental Defense League Vice- Presi-dent and TN Greenways & Trails Council member.

Sandra KurtzLogn-time Pulse colum-nist Alex Teach is a Cali-fornia

native and a 20- year veteran police officer. He’s a street cop who found a cathartic outlet for rampant cynicism in the form of writing. “I have a front-row seat to the most disturbing show on

earth,” says Teach. “Night-mares, like The Pulse, are free. Both should be shared with everyone.” His columns have attracted the attention of mayors and U.S. senators, though only when readers are attempting to have him fired. Officer Teach is also an avid bicyclist and pas-sionate recreational boater, whose likes include short walks, rum, and volunteering at the Boehm Birth Defects Center when he has the time.

Alex Teach

The List

According to Ioana Paicu at HerInterest.com, someone once said that flowers are God’s sweetest creations without a soul, and we couldn’t agree more.

For centuries, these frail gifts of nature have helped us convey deep feelings and momentous emotions. Although most of them live a short life, they somehow manage to make the most of it.

With our cover story this week focusing on urban gardening, we thought we'd find out what are the fifteen most popular flowers in the world.

1. Rose2. Carnation3. Tulip4. Daisy5. Sunflower6. Daffodil7. Gerbera8. Orchid9. Iris10. Lilac11. Gardenia12. Jasmine13. Magnolia14. Hyacinth15. Lilly of the Valley

Sure, growing vegetables and herbs are fun and useful for urban gardeners. But always leave space for at least a few flowers. It just makes the world a prettier place.

Some are easy to grow; some require lots of love and care. But all are worth the effort. Source: herinterest.com/15-most-popular-flowers-in-the-world

The World's Most Popular Flowers

6 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

How community gardens make the city a better placeBy Sandra Kurtz & Joe Wilferth, Pulse contibutors

The Art Of Urban GardeningC

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ardeners have been itching to get their hands in the soil since the first seed catalogs began arriving in the mail in February. People are mobbing garden cen-ters to purchase young plants for home flower and vegetable gardens. We know vegetables grown locally are best for our health and the environment, so many frequent a year-round store like Linda’s Produce.

G

Ask a clerk where a fruit comes from and the answer is often Conyersville, Georgia. You think, okay, that’s local, but actually Conyersville is simply a food dis-tribution center for imports. It’s better to grow your own and eat what’s in season locally. However, home gardens aren’t the only ones in town.

Urban community gardening has come to Chat-tanooga as gardeners realize and farmers see the de-mand for local fresh food to feed the hungry. It’s be-coming the new normal.

These transitions don’t happen all at once. It usu-ally requires a champion leading the way. In this case, it’s Alex McGregor (not Peter Rabbit’s nemesis). He had long been a gardener picking up expertise from his grandmother and father, continuing the family tra-dition. In 1985, he started his quarter of an acre garden on Signal Mountain. His knowledge expanded when he took a class in biointensive farming at Ohio Uni-versity. Eventually, in 1991, his quarter acre became the first organic certified farm in the area as he moved from gardener to farmer. Walden Farm was born.

By 1993, Alex had started the first CSA (community

supported agriculture). Few had heard of a CSA then. Skeptics sneered at the idea of prepaying a farmer to provide a share of fresh vegetables weekly from May through November. Finally, an enthused friend talked some others into buying shares and the business took off. For several years, Walden Farm provided 30 fami-lies with a weekly supply of organic food. A study of organic farms in the Southeast showed that the quarter acre Walden Farm produced 8 times more than others.

Eventually Alex secured a Sustainable Agriculture Research in Education grant to teach the Ohio cur-riculum locally. He mentored several students who have now started up their own CSA’s. You find them at farmer’s markets around town selling their produce.

These days, Alex has returned to being a gardener. “We have formed a friendly coalition with neighbors to share the harvest,” he says smiling. He adds, “You can’t be a recovering farmer—there’s no such thing.”

CSA’s are now available from several regional farm-ers. Crabtree Farms produces Taste Buds with a lo-cal directory of community gardens and CSA farms including Crabtree. For a full Crabtree share, you re-

ceive a fresh produce box weekly from May through November for $750. A half share costs $400. However, if you volunteer a minimum of five hours a week, you can get a box. Other less industrious volunteers are eligible to get seconds. In this case boxes are picked up at the farm. Other farmers have a variety of delivery arrangements usually at a farmer’s market.

Now, one can find a farmer’s market somewhere almost every day of the week. Joshua Nelson owns The Healthy Kitchen, a three-acre farm in Dunlap. He brings his organic produce and chicken eggs regularly to Lookout Farmer’s Markets. From 4 to 7 p.m. on Mondays, it’s Red Bank United Methodist Church. On Tuesday, it’s Audu-bon Acres. On Friday, it’s St. Elmo Avenue except for the last Friday when it runs from 4 to 9 p.m. with the addition of music and festivities.

On Wednesday, go to the Main Street Market from 4 to 6 p.m. and on Saturday mornings from 10 a.m. to Noon, the Brain-erd Farmer’s Market is open. Then on Sunday afternoons, there is the biggest one of all, the Chattanooga Market at the First Tennessee Pavilion on the Southside, where many of the same farmers from the smaller markets plus others appear along

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 7

with several arts and crafts vendors selling their wares. Live music and special events are a given.

Joshua makes a living from the farm for his family and last year tripled his income. “I can’t compete with com-mercial farmers so this [farmer’s mar-kets] is the niche I need,” he said. “For me,” he adds, “the health thing is im-portant; everyone should do it; it’s so important to touch the Earth.”

How much do his tomatoes cost? $2 a pound.

Some farmer’s markets managers have an added motive in addition to providing farmers a sales venue. They enable those in need to have access to fresh, nutritious food. Main Street Market’s mission says, “We envision a Chattanooga made vibrant and pros-perous through our connection to the food we eat and the people who pro-duce it.”

The Brainerd Farmer’s Market, a project of Grace Episcopal Church, ac-cepts food stamps (EBT, SNAP, WIC) as do Lookout Farmer’s Markets. They now allow double a purchase for fruits and veggies thanks to a Community

Foundation grant. Grace Episcopal also offers free community gardening plots.

The Chattanooga Food Bank pro-duces 2000 pounds of produce each year in their garden for emergency food bank boxes serving the needy. This organization also supports Gate-way Towers gardening by providing seedlings, tools, and soil replenish-ment for individual community plots. Some plots are raised to assist those less able gardeners.

Hamilton County Health Depart-ment serves food deserts, places where residents find no grocery store within a mile. Step One Project’s Mobile Mar-ket regularly brings locally sourced food to such neighborhoods. They hope to incorporate permanent markets within already existing corner stores as well.

H*Art Gallery and Southside Ab-bey help feed those in need in the area. This nonprofit gallery feeds their homeless artists offering fresh produce from their garden to those recently housed. Tomatoes, peppers, lettuces, and assorted herbs including basil for pesto will be available in season.

Hill City Community Garden plots

are available to individuals for free to anyone who meets with the coordina-tor for an orientation. There is also a communal garden where volunteers can help with composting or lead gar-den classes for neighborhood children.

Other gardens also offer learning experiences such as at Bethlehem Center, Mercy Junction, and Crabtree Farms. Crabtree Farms learning comes by volunteering or through participat-ing in workshops. Many students also visit Crabtree Farms during school hours.

UTC’s students are literally dig-ging in this spring. They are planting and preparing a one-acre garden on campus, a space that is known as the Teaching and Learning Garden. Think outdoor classroom and outdoor labora-tory.

The Garden finds its roots in con-versations with faculty, staff and stu-dents who wanted such a space where students from a variety of academic programs could participate in growing fruits, vegetables, and more. While the garden obviously connects with

>> Continued on pg. 9

“UTC’s students are literally digging in this spring. They are planting and preparing a one-acre garden on campus, a space that is known as the Teaching and Learning Garden.”

8 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 9

“A farmer’s market is a gathering place where one not only chats with the farmer who grew your

food, but your neighbors as well.”

academic programs like environmen-tal science, topics and conversations surrounding the garden also relate to issues of health and wellness, issues of socioeconomics, and access to whole/real food, issues related to aesthetics and design, issues related to numerous themes found in art, and environmen-tal literature.

In short, the garden will provide a hub of activity and teaching/learning in classes that range from the natural sciences to the social sciences and from the humanities to the fine arts.

While food grown on other campus-es usually goes to feed students, in the case of UTC’s garden, a significant portion of the produce will be given to the Chattanooga Community Kitchen. The rest will be sold (think campus farmers market) with proceeds going toward student travel and research.

Joel Houser, Southeast Conserva-tion Director with the Land Trust of Tennessee and former farmer/director at Crabtree Farms said, “I’m very ex-cited that UTC is planting a teaching and learning garden for many reasons. Gardens offer great interdisciplinary educational opportunities that can be used for curricula ranging from design to biology to geology, the arts, nutri-tion and beyond. Gardens offer beauty to communities in addition to nourish-

ment and add to sense of place in that community. The garden being an offi-cial program of the university will en-sure its success and will benefit many students and those they will affect in the future.

With urban gardening and farm-er’s markets taking on a life of their own, what’s next? Alex McGregor is still showing the way: “I have long preached that zoning, regulations, and the tax structure have driven ag-riculture farther and farther away from the city. What we need to do is fold it back into the city itself. Going on in other places are rooftop farms, empty lots being turned into mini-farms and community gardens. Even better than buying at a farmer’s market, get your own out of the back yard. There’s nothing fresher.”

Perhaps we will return to the old “Victory Gardens” either in backyards or in containers at windows or on pa-tios. Still, there’s something to be said for visiting a farmer’s market. After all, a farmer’s market is a gathering place where one not only chats with the farmer who grew your food, but your neighbors as well. Expect to see more outlets for organic and locally grown food and with it, perhaps growth in positive community life and a boost to our local economy.

10 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

1967’S THE JUNGLE BOOK HAS LONG BEEN ONE OF MY favorite Disney films, second only to Sleeping Beauty for lack of

a fire-breathing dragon. What it lacks in evil green fire, it more than makes up for with a particular style of music and animation that is often ignored in favor of either earlier classics like Snow White or the grand epics of Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King.

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✴ ✴ ✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴ ✴ ✴

KeanuPopular sketch comedians Keegan-Mi-chael Key & Jordan Peele make their fea-ture film debut with a tale of friends who hatch a plot to retrieve a stolen kitten by posing as drug dealers for a street gang. Director: Peter Atencio Stars: Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele, Will Forte, Nia Long

Ratchet & ClankWhen the galaxy comes under the threat of a nefarious space captain, a mechanic and his newfound robot ally join an elite squad of combatants to save the universe. Directors: Kevin Munroe & Jericca Cleland Stars: James Arnold Taylor, David Kaye, Jim Ward, Sylvester Stallone

An Astronaut's View of EarthNASA Astronaut Barry “Butch” Wilmore Visits IMAX Friday

Gaze up at the sky on a clear night from anywhere in Tennessee and you’ll see a phenomenal display of twinkling stars and constellations.

And, at certain times, you might even catch a glimpse of the Interna-tional Space Station. It will appear as the third brightest object overhead as it streaks across the sky at a rate that’s much faster than any plane.

According to NASA Astronaut Bar-ry “Butch” Wilmore, the view from the ISS looking back at his home state of Tennessee is just as spec-tacular. Wilmore is one of the astro-nauts featured in a new IMAX film

A Beautiful Planet 3D coming to the Tennessee Aquarium IMAX 3D.

This Friday, Wilmore will be in Chattanooga for the Tennessee pre-miere of this new film. He’ll discuss his experiences in space and his role in capturing some of the spectacular scenes audiences will see on the gi-ant screen.

“I was blessed to fly into space when the IMAX cameras first arrived at the ISS,” said Wilmore. “I was the first to use these new digital cameras to view and capture the wonders of Earth from space, and oh my, what an experience!”

Updating The Bear Necessities of Jungle LifeLive-action and computer animation blend to make a vibrant Jungle Book

Among the changes to the original film are a noticeable lack of songs and slight modifications to the characters to make them more ecologically accurate.”

ScreenJOHN DEVORE

Films like The Jungle Book and Robin Hood shared much of the same animation and voice actors, and while some might see this as conservative laziness on the part of the studio, I’ve always found it charming in its simplicity. Of course, some of this comes from seeing these films during my forma-tive years, but I still believe that the Louie Prima style jazz of “I Wanna Be Like You” are as quintessential to the Disney legacy as “When You Wish Upon a Star.”

At the same time, I can understand the studio’s desire to remake the film, as the original does suffer from a certain thinness in plot and Rudyard Kipling’s world is ripe for expansion (not that either version is es-pecially faithful to the source material). The new film is thrilling in places, but the Fugi-tive style pace may be a little too much for the youngest audiences. Still, there are mo-ments in the film that are absolutely stun-ning and the film is worth seeing for the visuals alone.

It’s important to remember that 2016’s The Jungle Book is no less animated than the 1967 original. The animations are exten-sive and exquisitely detailed photorealistic renderings of the animals and jungles of In-dia. Just like traditional Disney animation, this world was created by highly talented and passionate artists. The tools of the art might have changed, but this film is a tes-

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 11

tament to just how far technology has come in 50 years.

This film follows the same story as the original, with only a few key changes. Mogwli (Neel Sethi) is still a man-cub, left alone in the jungle and found by Bagheera, a wise black pan-ther voiced by Ben Kingsley. Mowgli has been raised by wolves and taught their ways by his mother Rashka (Lu-pita Nyong’o) and pack leader Akela (Giancarlo Esposito).

At a time of peace between the ani-mals of the jungle, the deadly tiger Shere Khan (Idris Elba) makes an ulti-matum—turn the man cub over to him or the wolves will suffer. As a result, Mowgli leaves to find the man village and return to his people. He must over-come the challenges of the jungle and his fear of Shere Khan to survive.

Among the changes to the original film are a noticeable lack of songs and slight modifications to the characters to make them more ecologically accurate. The animals we see in the film could all be found at one time or another in the Indian jungles—Baloo is a sloth bear, the elephants are distinctly the Indian variety, Shere Khan is a Bengal Tiger, etc.

King Louie (Christopher Walken) is no longer an orangutan, instead re-placed with a Gigantopithecus blacki, an extinct species thought to be the largest great ape that ever lived. The scenes with Louie in particular are exceptionally well done, exciting se-quences that absolutely make the

movie. As the film focuses as much as it can

on realism, the overt musical scenes were understandably left out, save for the most popular songs like “The Bear Necessities” and “I Wanna Be Like You.” The performances here are ad-equate, but Christopher Walken is not Louie Prima and his particular song seems at least a little out of place given what came before.

The voice acting in the film is very well done (although I would have loved Shere Khan to have Elba’s Baltimore, Stringer Bell accent, which is why no one lets me make movies) and Neel Sethi gives a wonderful performance considering he was working almost en-tirely with green screen actors. It would be a challenging role for an adult and Sethi owns the part as if it was created for him alone.

Both versions of the The Jungle Book are wonderful children’s films. The success of the remake is no small feat considering how little Hollywood studios tend to think of children. The moronic trailers before the film high-light the narrow attitudes of studio ex-ecutives towards kids, which leads to even more films about people turning into pets and the wacky hijinks that ensue. Jon Favreau clearly respects the original film and believes his audience to be moderately intelligent.

Whether the success of The Jungle Book leads to more remakes remains to be seen. If it does, let’s hope the qual-ity stays high.

12 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 13

As with many of my writing-about-cars peers, I’m an inveterate road trip-per. I drag my family along back roads to everywhere, including taking the kids to school in the morning and when there’s an excuse to go somewhere, I take it.

What I really love, however, are big, unrealistic journeys, and I’ve had the pleasure of taking a few of them, go-ing back about 25 years now. They’re all memorable; the best was probably a 1,700-mile round trip in a Caterham 7 (a 1,200-pound roadster) which included breaking down for three days in Rob-binsville, NC (population 620, sa-lute!).

The worst was when I was working for a dude named (no kidding) Bill Hickock, and we drove round trip in two days from near Albany, New York to Golden, Mississippi, to pick up two loads of flat trailers. He had the Jimmy 3500 utility truck; and I had the 1985 Dodge Tradesman 3500 van. I don’t know if the worst part was the lack of sleep, unholy August heat, or the way the van had a series of electrical failures and lost all of its lights, including the gauges, on the way back.

These and other adventures have only made me seek out more, and I’m currently planning the next. This one, however, is a little different.

Thanks to another gig, I’m plan-ning for a trip to the end of the road. Right now, I’m deciding between two places in Canada, either Cartwright in Newfoundland and Labrador, which is the farthest northeast you can drive in North America; and Caniapiscau, Quebec, which is the end of the Trans-Taiga Highway, a 926-mile round trip on unpaved roads from the nearest town.

The best part is that it’s all paid for—including the car, which is a bit of a dilemma. We could easily borrow a Jeep from Chrysler and drive without incident, but that would be a boring story. Much more entertaining would be to buy something highly inappropri-ate and unreliable, say a small British sports car or huge Seventies or Eighties American barge. Then everyone could just sit back and laugh.

As we (I have a longtime co-conspir-ator) are leaning toward Caniapiscau, it has to be a vehicle hypothetically capable of making it. I like the idea of an old American barge, and one of the editors’ ideas is to take something big enough to live out of, so the bears (and mosquitoes) don’t eat us while we’re fixing breakdowns.

There’s also the matter of gas. One car I really like, a 1976 Cadillac Coupe deVille, has the monster 500-cu.in. (8.2-liter) V-8 and even with a 28-gallon

tank, the 13 mpg—at best—presents a challenge, because we’d need a mini-mum of 75 extra gallons of gas to make the trip.

That’s not only 450 pounds of weight, but fitting in those 15 big jerry cans would be a challenge, even for a car that size. There’s also the $5 (US) a gallon gas up there which adds up to probably $1,500 for the trip. If we went small—I’ve got my eye on a 1979 Honda Civic wagon—we’d cut the gas requirements by maybe two-thirds, but while reliabil-ity goes up, too, parts get mighty scarce.

It’ll be a compromise and a challenge no matter what, which is kind of the point. Easy trips aren’t just boring, and in this case boring to read about, they’re bad for the soul. Caniapiscau isn’t just going to be a 2,800-mile round trip to nowhere, we’re also going to make it as hard as possible. It’s easy to find ad-venture, you just need to tolerate the journey.

COLUMNAIR BAG

Planning for An Imperfect Road TripOur car guy wonders what’s the wrong car for a hard job

Much more entertaining would be to buy something highly inappropriate and unreliable, say a small British sports car or huge Seventies or Eighties American barge.”

David Traver Adolphus is a freelance automo-tive researcher who recently quit his full time job writing about old cars to pursue his life-long dream of writing about old AND new cars. He welcomes the inevitable and probably richly deserved kvetching about Air Bag and anything else on Twitter as @proscriptus.

DAVID TRAVER ADOLPHUS

Photo by Seigo Nohara

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No Two Are Ever AlikeThe art of Rivers & Shores unveiled at Reflections Gallery

Abstraction and representation. Normally, these two things do not coexist, but on Friday, they will. Be-ginning at 5 p.m., Reflections Gallery will host a reception for painters Re-nel Plouffe and James Tucker, with in-studio musical accompaniment by pianist Luke Simmons. And al-though Plouffe and Tucker are radi-cally different artists, each has a pas-sion for revealing the natural world in their own distinct way.

Plouffe’s work is abstract expres-sionism. In no way is her art sup-posed to be a depiction of reality in the “normal” sense. The way she goes about creating her pieces is magnificent. “I break down what I see to it’s visual essentials—light, dark, color, tone, movements, and textures. The reflection is a reflec-tion of my true essence and out-look.”

She then goes on to say something just as beautiful as her paintings: “Painting is my speech, my play-

ground, my reality.” Her art has been shown all over the place, from Hous-ton to Montreal to Chattanooga. Her use of vivid color is entrancing and inventive. How could you not want to see her art up close and personal?

Tucker’s work leans the other way completely, but in the best way pos-sible. While he relies on the tangi-bility of materials he gathers whilst sailing on the Tennessee River, he paints from the emotions he experi-ences while on the river. The paint-ings are direct representations of the river, but the inspirations behind them are abstract emotions.

Tucker has no shortage of aca-demic prowess, studying at The Uni-versity of Georgia, The Atlanta Col-lege of Art, and the Callanwolde Arts Center. He utilizes several mediums to get his thoughts across including acrylic, oil, and pen and ink. There is no shortage of creativity or virtuos-ity when it comes to this seasoned painter. — Rebekah Jones

SCHEHERAZADE WANTS THE NIGHTS TO NEVER END. If the mad king Shahryar loses interest in the romantic stories

Scheherazade tells, he will have her beheaded at dawn, as he has done to 1,000 other brides. And so she tells stories, on and on, for her very life. This central tale from the Arabian Nights is the source ma-terial for a symphonic suite by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov, Thursday’s final performance in the Chattanooga Symphony’s Masterworks sea-son. Let’s hope it ends well.

A Thousand And One Musical NightsRimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade concludes CSO Masterworks season

I want the audience to be able to imagine, as they listen to the music, what kind of scenery and story we’re trying to paint.”

ArtsWARD RAYMOND

“I like to finish the season with a big bang,” says CSO Music Director Kayoko Dan. “Scheherazade is one of those huge masterpieces that people love to listen to, and that musicians love performing. This music is particularly fun, telling a story within a story—the 1001 Arabian Nights—and our challenge is to make it sound interesting and exciting, using different colors, articulations, and energy distributed to tell the story correctly.”

What to expect from this Thursday evening at the Tivoli? “The audience should come with the expectation of us-ing their imaginations,” Dan says. “It’s very colorful music, scenic music with an Oriental theme. Rimsky-Korsakov was a master orchestrator, putting together instruments within the orchestration to come up with the sound that he wanted. Everyone experiences it differently, but I want the audience to be able to imagine, as they listen to the music, what kind of scenery and story we’re trying to paint.”

In the first half of the program, re-nowned young pianist Stanislav Khris-tenko will take on Chopin’s Piano Con-certo No. 1. “It will be my first time coming to Chattanooga as well as my debut performance with the Chatta-nooga Symphony,” Khristenko says. Born in Ukraine and schooled at the Mos-cow State Tchaikovsky Conservatory, he

Renel Plouffe

FRI4.29IN A NUTSHELL

CTC Youth Theatre presents Really RosieChattanooga Theatre Centre400 River St.(423) 267-8534theatrecentre.com

SAT4.30HELL ON WHEELS

Chattanooga Roller Girls Home Opener 7 p.m.Convention Center1 Carter Plz.chattanoogarollergirls.com

THU4.28THEATER ART

Casting the Canvas6 p.m.Hunter Museum10 Bluff View(423) 267-0968huntermuseum.org

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 15

brings deep sensitivity and a personal connection to the music.

“This concerto is one of the gems of the piano repertoire,” Khristenko says. “It’s romanticism brings a lot of memories of my childhood and teenag-er years. This work shows endless pos-sibilities of the piano, as the composer gives a lot of freedom to the soloist, which makes it very tricky in terms of collaboration with the orchestra.”

Conductor Dan is confident of the match-up, explaining that Khristenko won the right to perform with the CSO as the Gold Medal winner of the 2013 Cleveland International Piano Compe-tition, a springboard for the next gener-ation of promising pianists. “When we sign up to be a host orchestra, we agree to host the winner of the competition,” Dan says. “We haven’t performed this Chopin concerto for a while; this will really show off his skills.”

As to the 2015-16 season coming to a finale, CSO Executive Director Sa-mantha Teter cites success in the “sec-ond highest season subscription sales in the past seven years—just behind last season that included Yo-Yo Ma.”

And the story is the same across the board: “On our First Tennessee Foun-dation Pops Series, we had the highest ticket sales ever for our Home for the Holidays concerts,” Teter says. “Our Tribute to Paul McCartney and Seth Carico concerts were good sellers, we just sold out Disney in Concert last weekend, and our Peter and the Wolf family concert at Volkswagen back in February oversold—we had to keep adding chairs!”

Becoming executive director in early 2016, Teter has taken on a nonprofit

organization’s perennial challenge: financial sustainability. “Ticket sales cover just under 40 percent of our bud-get,” she says. “The remaining funding comes from individual donors, founda-tions, ArtsBuild, the Tennessee Arts Commission, as well as corporate sup-porters. So we are currently looking for ways to increase our endowment and to build a ‘risk’ fund that will allow us to function through any type of economic stress.”

Surrounded by supportive people, Teter says, “We have a great board of directors, staff, and musicians, and we are embarking on a strategic plan together that will help us continue to build our footprint in the community and find new funding sources through increased audiences, more corporate support, or new grant opportunities.”

More opportunities abound for the artistic staff as well. The Scheherazade performance calls for a “large orches-tra with lots of percussion, a huge brass section, and woodwinds relatively large as well,” says conductor Dan. “There are a lot of violin solos, both cadenzas and within the piece, and every wind player, the flute, clarinet, oboe, bas-soon, and horn; the principal cellist; the trumpet, trombone, and harp—they all get their solos. It really shows off the concertmaster (first chair violin) too.”

CSO concertmaster Holly Mulcahy notes that after hearing Scheherazade at an early age, she fell in love with the violin and knew that it would be her future.

Perhaps Thursday night at the Tivoli you’ll fall in love with something or someone—or at least embrace the art-istry of Chopin and Rimsky-Korsakov.

Stanislav Khristenko

16 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

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RTHURSDAY4.28

Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. ooltewahnursery.comSignal Mountain Farmers Market4 p.m.Pruett’s Market1210 Taft Hwy.(423) 902-8023signalmountainfarmersmarket.comSt. Elmo Farmers Market4 p.m.Incline Railway3917 St. Elmo Ave.(423) 838-9804lookoutfarmersmarket.comNature Nuts: Bird Migration5 p.m.Chester Frost Park2318 Gold Point Cir. North(423) 842-0177tnaqua.orgCasting the Canvas: Art-Inspired Performance by ETC6 p.m.Hunter Museum10 Bluff View(423) 267-0968huntermuseum.orgGodspell7:30 p.m.Baylor School171 Baylor School Rd.(423) 267-8505baylorschool.orgSpanky Brown7:30 p.m.The Comedy Catch1400 Market St.

(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.comCSO: Scheherazade7:30 p.m.Tivoli Theatre709 Broad St.(423) 757-5050chattanoogaonstage.com

FRIDAY4.29

“River & Shore” Reception5 p.m.Reflections Gallery6922 Lee Hwy(423) 892-3072reflectionsgallerytn.comReally Rosie7 p.m.Chattanooga Theatre Centre400 River St.(423) 267-8534theatrecentre.com

Godspell7:30 p.m.Baylor School171 Baylor School Rd.(423) 267-8505baylorschool.orgSpanky Brown7:30, 9:45 p.m.The Comedy Catch1400 Market St.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

SATURDAY4.30

Run Wild!8 a.m.Chattanooga Zoo301 N. Holtzclaw Ave.(423) 697-1319chattzoo.orgReptile & Exotic Animal Expo10 a.m.

Camp Jordan323 Camp Jordan Pkwy(863) 268-4273reptiday.comInternational Taiji Day Celebration10 a.m.Tennessee Aquarium Plaza1 Broad St.(423) 648-2496chattanoogarivermarket.comChattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0695tnaqua.orgBrainerd Farmers Market10 a.m.Grace Episcopal Church20 Belvoir Ave.(404) 245-3682Northside Farmers Market 10 am.Northside Presbyterian Church923 Mississippi Ave.(423) 266-7497St. Alban’s Hixson Market10 a.m.St. Alban’s Episcopal Church7514 Hixson Pike(423) 842-6303Day Out with Thomas: The Ready, Set, Go Tour 201610 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum 4119 Cromwell Rd.(423) 894-8028tvrail.comAbe Lincoln is Dead and Damned: The Memphis Riots of 186611 a.m.

Reptile & Exotic Aninal Expo

PULSE PICK: SPANKY BROWNVersatility and style best describe this performer providing laughs that transcend all barriers: age, gender, urban or mainstream, his humor appeals to all audiences.

Spanky BrownThe Comedy Catch 1400 Market St.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 17

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The Metropolitan Opera: Elektra

Bessie Smith Cultural Center200 E. MLK Blvd.(423) 266-8656bessiesmithcc.orgThe Metropolitan Opera: Elektra12:55 p.m.East Ridge 185080 S. Terrace(423) 855-9652carmike.comReally Rosie2:30 p.m.Chattanooga Theatre Centre400 River St.(423) 267-8534theatrecentre.comGodspell2:30, 7:30 p.m.Baylor School171 Baylor School Rd.(423) 267-8505baylorschool.orgThe Wheel Revolution4 p.m.Chattanooga Convention Center1 Carter Plz.(423) 756-0001chattanoogarollergirls.comChattanooga Roller Girls vs. Dixie Derby Girls7 p.m.Chattanooga Convention Center1 Carter Plz.(423) 756-0001chattanoogarollergirls.comSpanky Brown7:30, 9:45 p.m.The Comedy Catch1400 Market St.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

Chattanooga Dance Theatre Spring GalaChattanooga Dance Theatre5151 Austin Rd., Suite A(423) 760-8808chattanoogadancetheatre.com

SUNDAY5.1 Day Out with Thomas: The Ready, Set, Go Tour 201610 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum 4119 Cromwell Rd.(423) 894-8028tvrail.comChattanooga Market10 a.m.First Tennessee Pavilion1826 Reggie White Blvd.(423) 266-4041chattanoogamarket.comArt Glass Pop-Up StoreNoonHunter Museum10 Bluff View(423) 267-0968huntermuseum.orgTaste of Ooltewah and Harrison12:30 p.m.Cambridge Square9453 Bradmore Ln.(423) 531-7754d9strong.comReally Rosie2:30 p.m.Chattanooga Theatre Centre400 River St.(423) 267-8534theatrecentre.comGodspell

2:30 p.m.Baylor School171 Baylor School Rd.(423) 267-8505baylorschool.orgBroadway Review!7:30 p.m.Christ United Methodist Church8645 E. Brainerd Rd.(423) 892-9363christchurchchatt.orgSpanky Brown7:30 p.m.The Comedy Catch1400 Market St.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY5.2 Red Bank Farmers Market4 p.m.Red Bank United Methodist Church3800 Dayton Blvd.(423) 838-9804lookoutfarmersmarket.comCSOYO Spring Concert7 p.m.Tivoli Theatre709 Broad St.(423) 267-8583chattanoogasymphony.org

TUESDAY5.3 Basecamp in Miller Plaza9 a.m.Miller Plaza800 Market St.(423) 265-3700rivercitycompany.com

East Brainerd Farmers Market4 p.m.Audubon Acres900 N. Sanctuary Rd.(423) 838-9804lookoutfarmersmarket.comFriends of Cloudland Canyon State Park Fundraiser5 p.m. Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St.(423) 602-5980flyingsquirrelbar.comIntro to Mountain Biking6 p.m.Outdoor Chattanooga200 River St. (423) 643-6888outdoorchattanooga.com

WEDNESDAY5.4 Middle East Dance10:30 a.m.Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace(423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.comMain Street Market4 p.m. 325 East Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Chattanooga Open Mic7 p.m.The Comedy Catch1400 Market St.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

Map these locations on chatta-noogapulse.com. Send event list-ings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected]

18 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 19

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’re in a phase of your cycle when you’ll be rewarded for your freshness and originality. The more you cultivate a “be-ginner’s mind,” the smarter you will be. What you want will become more pos-

sible to the degree that you shed everything you think you know about what you want. As the art-ist Henri Matisse said, if a truly creative painter hopes to paint a rose, he or she “first has to forget all the roses that were ever painted.” What would be the equivalent type of forgetting in your own life?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Am I still a hero if the only person I save is myself?” asks poet B. Dam-ani. If you posed that question to me right now, I would reply, “Yes, Gemini. You are still a hero if the only person you save is yourself.” If you asked me to elaborate, I’d say, “In fact, saving yourself is the only way you can be a hero right now. You can’t rescue or fix or rehabilitate anyone else unless and until you can rescue and fix and rehabilitate yourself.” If you pushed me to provide you with a hint about how you should approach this chal-lenge, I’d be bold and finish with a flourish: “Now I dare you to be the kind of hero you have always feared was beyond your capacity.”

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as pos-sible,” declares psychotherapist Thomas Moore. I agree. Our mental health thrives when we can have candid conversations with free spirits who don’t censor themselves and don’t expect us to water down what we say. This is always true, of course, but it will be an absolute necessity for you in the coming weeks. So I suggest that you do ev-erything you can to put yourself in the company of curious minds that love to hear and tell the truth. Look for opportunities to express yourself with extra clarity and depth. “To have real conver-sations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion,” says Moore, “but it involves courage and risk.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I watched a video of a he-licopter pilot as he descended from the sky and tried to land his vehicle on the small deck of a Danish ship patrolling the North Sea. The weather was blustery and the seas were choppy. The task looked at best strenuous, at worst impossible. The pilot hovered patiently as the ship pitched wildly. Finally there was a brief calm, and he seized on that moment to settle down safely. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you may have a metaphorically similar challenge in the coming days. To be successful, all you have to do is be alert for the brief calm, and then act with swift, relaxed decisiveness.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Show me a man who isn’t a slave,” wrote the Roman philosopher Sen-eca. “One is a slave to sex, another to money, an-other to ambition; all are slaves to hope or fear.” Commenting on Seneca’s thought, blogger Ryan Holiday says, “I’m disappointed in my enslave-ment to self-doubt, to my resentment towards those that I dislike, to the power that the favor and approval of certain people hold over me.” What about you, Virgo? Are there any emotional states or bedeviling thoughts or addictive desires that you’re a slave to? The coming weeks will be a favorable time to emancipate yourself. As you do, remember this: There’s a difference between being compulsively driven by a delusion and lov-ingly devoted to a worthy goal.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Everyone who has ever built a new heaven first found the power to do so in his own hell.” That noble truth was uttered by Libran philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, and I bet it will be especially meaningful for most of you during the rest of 2016. The bad news is that in the past few months you’ve had to reconnoiter your own hell a little more than you would have liked, even if it has been pretty damn interesting. The good news is that these explorations will soon be winding down. The fantastic news is that you are already getting glimpses of how to use what you’ve been learning. You’ll be well-prepared when the time comes to start constructing a new heaven.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Zugzwang” is a Ger-man-derived word used in chess and other games. It refers to a predicament in which a player cannot

possible make a good move. Every available op-tion will weaken his or her position. I propose that we coin a new word that means the opposite of zugzwang: “zugfrei,” which shall hereafter signify a situation in which every choice you have in front of you is a positive or constructive one; you can-not make a wrong move. I think this captures the essence of the coming days for you, Scorpio.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “We have to learn how to live with our frailties,” poet Stanley Kunitz told The Paris Review. “The best people I know are inadequate and unashamed.” That’s the keynote I hope you will adopt in the coming weeks. No mat-ter how strong and capable you are, no matter how hard you try to be your best, there are ways you fall short of perfection. And now is a special phase of your astrological cycle when you can learn a lot about how to feel at peace with that fact.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): How do plants re-produce? They generate seeds that are designed to travel. Dandelion and orchid seeds are so light they can drift long distances through the air. Milk-weed seeds are a bit heavier, but are easily carried by the wind. Foxglove and sycamore seeds are so buoyant they can float on flowing water. Birds and other animals serve as transportation for bur-dock seeds, which hook onto feather and fur. Fruit seeds may be eaten by animals and later excreted, fully intact, far from their original homes. I hope this meditation stimulates you to think creatively about dispersing your own metaphorical seeds,

Capricorn. It’s time for you to vividly express your essence, make your mark, spread your influence.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “It is a fault to wish to be understood before we have made ourselves clear to ourselves,” said philosopher Simone Weil. I hope that prod makes you feel a bit uncomfort-able, Aquarius. I hope it motivates you to get busy investigating some of your vague ideas and fuzzy self-images and confused intentions. It will soon be high time for you to ask for more empathy and acknowledgment from those whose opinions matter to you. You’re overdue to be more appreci-ated, to be seen for who you really are. But before any of that good stuff can happen, you will have to engage in a flurry of introspection. You’ve got to clarify and deepen your relationship with yourself.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education,” said writer Mark Twain. That’s excellent advice for you to ap-ply and explore in the coming weeks. Much of the time, the knowledge you have accumulated and the skills you have developed are supreme assets. But for the immediate future, they could obstruct you from learning the lessons you need most. For instance, they might trick you into thinking you are smarter than you really are. Or they could cause you to miss simple and seemingly obvious truths that your sophisticated perspective is too proud to notice. Be a humble student, my dear.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The oracle I’m about to present may be controversial. It contains ad-vice that most astrologers would never dare to offer an Aries. But I believe you are more recep-tive than usual to this challenge, and I am also convinced that you especially need it right now. Are you ready to be pushed further than I have ever pushed you? Study this quote from novelist Mark Z. Danielewski: “Passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is not about feeling good. It is about endurance. Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati.”

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

DIVERSIONSFREE WILL ASTROLOGY

Homework: Describe how you’ve fought off the seductive power of trendy cynicism without turning into a gullible Pollyanna. Freewillastrology.com

ROB BREZSNY

20 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“I’m bringing home a baby bumble-bee” is the classic song we know from childhood, but we’re taking an adult twist on the classic bumblebee that makes one of the sweetest and stickiest natural sugars: honey.

Bumblebees or rather honey bees are the only insects to produce an edible substance for humans. Honey is 17.1 percent water and 38.5 percent fructose, but rich in minerals and nutrients. It’s used in everything from skincare to the cocktails and liqueurs mentioned in this article.

Honey liqueur? Yes, it is a thing and most popularly recognized in Jack Dan-

iel’s Tennessee Honey and Wild Tur-key American Honey Sting. Tennessee Honey is a blend of whiskey and honey liqueur, specially crafted by Jack Dan-iel’s. The underlying flavor of Tennes-see Honey continues to be Tennessee Whiskey, however Tennessee Honey adds a sweet taste and nutty finish.

At 70 proof, the honey is not domi-nant, but adds a sweet characteristic to a Jack Daniel’s classic. As Jack Dan-iel’s describes it, Tennessee Honey is “a little bit of honey and a whole lot of Jack.” Serve chilled over ice or add it to a cocktail such as Jack Honey Lemon-ade, a blend of Tennessee Honey and

lemonade topped with a Cherry. Wild Turkey American Honey Sting

was another suggestion for a honey in-fused liqueur. With similar qualities to Jack Daniel’s, but 71 proof, there’s something that gives this liqueur a kick. It’s blended with honey and ghost pep-per for a little heat during the summer.

However, if you’re looking for more natural uses for honey, incorporate ta-blespoons into your own cocktail. The Bee’s Knees (an old classic) and the Democrat (a modern twist) cocktail are a few ways to sweeten gin and whiskey based drinks.

The bee’s knees was slang for “the best” in the early 20th century during

the prohibition era. To cover up the taste of “bathtub”, or just awful home-made gin, honey and lemon were add-ed. In this case add your choice of gin, lemon juice, and the main ingredient honey syrup (a mix of honey and water) to create a tastier version of a 20th cen-tury Bee’s Knees.

Created by bartender Jon Santer in Emeryville, CA, the Democrat was inspired by 33rd president, Harry Tru-man. Truman often had cocktails on his back patio after a tiring day’s work. When Santer read this, he pictured the Southern Summer in a drink; peach li-queur, fresh lemon juice, honey syrup, and choice of bourbon. Specific mea-surements are listed below, but as a sug-gestion, mix with Buffalo Trace bour-bon or even Sazerac Rye for a straight rye whiskey addition.

Whether you’re pouring straight over ice or preparing a mixed cocktail, honey provides a sweet compliment to whiskeys and gins. And don’t forget the many uses for honey because when the night is over, add a tablespoon to your morning breakfast oatmeal or toast to help banish last night’s hangover.

Democrat (courtesy of Eater.com)• 2 ounces bourbon• 3/4 ounce fresh lemon juice • 1/2 ounce peach liqueur• 1/2 ounce honey syrup Stir all ingredients in a Collins glass

with crushed ice. Garnish with a lemon wheel. — Ja’Lisa Little

FOOD & DRINKMIXOLOGY

Bringing Home Honey LiqueurHoney infused liquors and cocktails for warm days

“Whether you’re pouring straight over ice or preparing a mixed cocktail, honey provides a sweet complement to whiskeys and gins.”

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FRI4.29INSANE BRAIN

Cypress HillIt's been 25 years since the California boys merged Latin and American hip-hop into a platinum-selling sound...and they still kill it live!8 p.m.Track 291400 Market St.track29.co

SAT4.30CLASSIC HITS

8TRKWant to relive the glory days of arena rock without having to go to an arena? Then you'll surely appreciate these retro-rockers.10 p.m.Bud’s Sports Bar5751 Brainerd Rd.budssportsbar.com

THU4.28WHAT A NAME

Pigeons Playing Ping PongHow could you not appreciate a band with such a fantastic name? Come get your fill of electro-funk!8 p.m.Revelry Room41 E. 14th St.revelryroom.co

Bringing Back the Legends Lou Vuto and Edge of Reality Band pay tribute to Elvis

America has lost great musicians in history, including Michael Jack-son and most recently, Prince last Thursday. With more musicians passing through time, their music is remembered and heard through tribute bands worldwide. On Satur-day, a legend is brought to life once again through the rendition of the late Elvis, hosted by Alhambra Shrine Temple.

“Elvis is in the Building” is a show full of tribute musicians with lead performer, Lou Vuto, also known as Elvis. Pigeon Forge’s tribute artists give a new twist on what it means to be a fan. It’s about being a fan-per-former. In other words, it’s like be-ing part of a fandom where you are completely immersed in live culture.

Although the Elvis cultural era

may be gone, the Elvis tribute band, “Edge of Reality Band” reproduces the original music style of Elvis’s past musicians. Despite the abundance of prerecorded music, Vuto and the tribute band stay true the musical in-fluence of Elvis.

At the end of the night what mat-ters is the representation of the orig-inal legends. Although they are no longer able to create music, tribute bands keep legends alive for genera-tions to come. To relive history, pur-chase tickets starting at $15.

— Ja’Lisa Little

Elvis is in the BuildingSaturday, 6:15 p.m.Alhambra Shrine Temple1000 Alhambra Dr. alhambrashrine.com

Inside The Scarlet Love ConspiracyThe Almlies and Kilgores band together for a superb sound

SOME BANDS GO THROUGH TEMPORARY PHASES IN which they experiment with new sounds or directions, generally

returning to their roots before very long. Other bands intentionally reinvent themselves every so often, though the number that manages to do so successfully is very small indeed.

Almlie is one of those guitar players who, while retaining his own signature sound, is able to move fluidly between various styles depending on what seems best suited to the tune.”

MusicMARC T. MICHAEL

Then there’s the Scarlet Love Conspir-acy. They neither “go through phases,” nor do they reinvent themselves; they simply add to the collective awesome-ness of the band and their latest single (and sneak peak at their upcoming al-bum) is the proof in the pudding.

Before I even get started on the single, or the album it is a part of, I have to of-fer a nod to one aspect of the project in particular. Like everything else SLC has done so far, this was recorded at home and I am continually impressed with the level of quality home recording can pro-duce these days.

Once upon a time, home recording came in two flavors: really, really expen-sive, or pretty low-tech and god-awful. Lest you wonder which school I belonged to, my earliest projects were done by re-cording the band with a Realistic stereo microphone hanging from a light fixture. Extra tracks were added by ping-ponging between two cheap cassette decks. It was great fun, but gloriously bad. Today, a savvy group with modest equipment can achieve pro sound at home and SLC has absolutely done that.

The upcoming album, Secrets and Ashes, is very nearly ready (they lack one track and a little tweaking here and there) and I look forward to writing about it when it’s done. For now, I have the sin-gle, “Muddy Water,” to work with and it

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 23

is pretty damn special. I had been told that the single had a sort of Latin flavor, and the staccato acoustic guitar chords of the first few measures confirm that, but then Eric Almlie lays in to the lead and dios mio! If Carlos Santana ever needs a stand-in, Eric could do it and no one would be any the wiser.

It actually caught me off guard be-cause I’ve heard Eric’s guitar work be-fore and while it is always top-notch, it never sounded particularly like the man who gave us “Black Magic Wom-an.” Almlie is one of those guitar play-ers who, while retaining his own sig-nature sound, is able to move fluidly between various styles depending on what seems best suited to the tune.

As impressive as the guitar work is, I admit I kind of forgot about it once Heather Kilgore let loose with the vo-cals. Just as I’ve heard Eric play guitar before, I’ve heard Heather sing as well, but this…this is (exciting) new territo-ry. Her voice is low, powerful but sultry, reserved even, until she hits the chorus and it...blooms. Can’t think of a better word for it.

The interplay between verse and chorus is a kind of tension and release that is, plainly put, damned sexy. On this song in particular Heather seems to share quite a few vocal qualities with Natalie Merchant.

The rhythm section is held down by

the flawless drumming of Kat Almlie (one of the most solid drummers in the area) and the long, hot, throbbing bass of Travis Kilgore. As superb as all these players are, what pushes the song from “really good” to “wow” is the addition of young Katie Kilgore on keys (the or-gan is the perfect backing to the leads) and trumpet. The brass is an especially nice touch to the Latin feel of the tune.

The Latin feel, however, only makes it three quarters of the way through the song. After that the band decides to “give it a Foo Fighter ending” (they refer to this as “Fooing it’) and it is foo-ing awesome.

“Muddy Water” is a brilliant little tune that leaves me anxious to hear the rest of the new album and dem-onstrates in no uncertain terms the ar-tistic flexibility of the band. For now, you’ll just have to hear the song live and there are a few upcoming oppor-tunities. The band is playing Tremont Tavern on May 6th, June 21st at Mill-er Plaza (Make Music Chattanooga) and then, because they are both very talented and kinda nuts, they will be performing the entirety of Pink Floyd’s The Wall at the Revelry Room on July 2nd.

Look here for a full review of Secrets and Ashes once it becomes available.

*Five people all named Almlie and Kilgore? What are the odds?!

24 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

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THURSDAY4.28 James Crumble Trio6 p.m.St. John’s Meeting Place1278 Market St.stjohnsrestaurant.comRick Rushing Blues Jazz N’ Friends6 p.m.Bluewater Grille224 Broad St.bluewaterchattanooga.comJesse James & Tim Neal7:30 p.m.Mexi-Wing VII5773 Brainerd Rd.mexi-wingchattanooga.comTim O’Brien7:30 p.m.Barking Legs Theater1307 Dodds Ave.barkinglegs.orgPigeons Playing Ping Pong, Dank8 p.m.Revelry Room41 E. 14th St.revelryroom.coOpen Mic with Hap Henninger9 p.m.The Office @ City Cafe901 Carter St.citycafemenu.com

FRIDAY4.29

Eddie Pontiac6 p.m.El Meson2204 Hamilton Place Blvd.elmesonrestaurant.com

Binji Varsossa6 p.m.Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge1809 Broad St.(423) 266-1461Tim Lewis7 p.m.El Meson248 Northgate Parkelmesonchattanooga.comICON: A Prince Tribute7 p.m.Bessie Smith Cultural Center200 E. MLK Blvd.bessiesmithcc.orgCypress Hill8 p.m.Track 291400 Market St.track29.coPenny and Sparrow8 p.m.Revelry Room

41 E. 14th St.revelryroom.coKOZA, Eloquence of Suffering, Day Old Man, Gnomonaut8 p.m.Ziggy’s607 Cherokee Blvd.ziggysbarandgrill.netStanding Room Only8:30 p.m. The Foundry1201 Broad St.chattanooganhotel.comSam Holt Band9 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.comJay Taylor 9 p.m.World of Beer412 Market St. wobusa.comLee Gibson

9 p.m.Puckett’s Grocery2 W. Aquarium Waypuckettsgro.comDr. Vibe9 p.m.The Office @ City Cafe901 Carter St.citycafemenu.comCody Oliver 10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill409 Market St. rawbarandgrille.com8TRK10 p.m.Bud’s Sports Bar5751 Brainerd Rd.budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY4.30 Eddie Pontiac6 p.m.El Meson2204 Hamilton Place Blvd.elmesonrestaurant.comBinji Varsossa6 p.m.Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge1809 Broad St.(423) 266-1461Elvis is in the Building6:15 p.m.Alhambra Shrine Temple1000 Alhambra Dr. alhambrashrine.comDreamWalker 7:30 p.m. Purple Sky Healing Arts 625 E. Main St. purpleskyhealingarts.com

PULSE PICK: KIEFER SUTHERLANDYes, we're talking about that Kiefer Sutherland. The iconic actor. Really. And he's bringing his band to town for a special show at the Revelry Room.

Kiefer SutherlandSunday, 8 p.m.Revelry Room41 E. 14th St.grevelryroom.co

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 25

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Tesla

Rubiks Groove8 p.m.Revelry Room41 E. 14th St.revelryroom.coJohn Lathim 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse105 McBrien Rd. christunity.orgStanding Room Only8:30 p.m. The Foundry1201 Broad St.chattanooganhotel.comAn-Ten-Nae, Liferoot, Swimwear 9 p.m. Venue on Market138 Market St.venueonmarket.comPamela K. Ward Band9 p.m.Puckett’s Grocery2 W. Aquarium Waypuckettsgro.comSamantha August 9 p.m.World of Beer412 Market St. wobusa.comJole Clyde & Chris Ryan10 p.m.The Office @ City Cafe901 Carter St.citycafemenu.comCody Oliver 10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill409 Market St. rawbarandgrille.com8TRK10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar5751 Brainerd Rd.budssportsbar.com

SUNDAY5.1 Hannah Thomas11 a.m.The Flying Squirrel55 Johnson St.flyingsquirrelbar.comTrippin Roots1:30 p.m.The Flying Squirrel55 Johnson St.flyingsquirrelbar.comPlay Along with the CSO11:00 a.m.Chattanooga Market1829 Carter St.Chattanoogamarket.comOpen Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.Long Haul Saloon2536 Cummings Hwy.(423) 822-9775Peelander Z, Genki Genki Panic, Sam Killed The Bear8 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia231 E. MLK Blvd.jjsbohemia.comKiefer Sutherland8 p.m.Revelry Room41 E. 14th St.grevelryroom.co

MONDAY5.2 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room6925 Shallowford Rd.thepalmsathamilton.comTesla7 p.m.Track291400 Market St.track29.coOpen Air with Jessica Nunn7:30 p.m.Granfalloon400 E. Main St.granfalloonchattanooga.comVery Open Mic 8 p.m.The Well1800 Rossville Blvd. #8wellonthesouthside.comAvatar 8 p.m.Revelry Room41 E. 14th St.revlryroom.coFloetry8 p.m.Track291400 Market St.track29.coEyehategod in Tennessee, Red Necklace, KOZA9 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia231 E. MLK Blvd.jjsbohemia.com

TUESDAY5.3 Open Mic with Mike McDade8 p.m.Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.comNoah Gundersen

7 p.m.The Camp House149 E. MLK Blvd.thecamphouse.comDendra Bloodbath 9 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia231 E. MLK Blvd.jjsbohemia.com

WEDNESDAY5.4 Courtney Daly Band7 p.m.End Zone3658 Ringgold Rd.(423) 661-8020Old Crow Medicine Show 7 p.m.Soldiers and Sailors Memorial Auditorium399 McCallie Ave.chattanoogaonstage.comOpen Jam8 p.m.Raw Dance Club409 Market St.rawbarandgrillchatt.comSick Puppies 8 p.m.Revelry Room41 E. 14th St.revlryroom.coWednesday Blues Jam8 p.m.The Office @ City Café901 Carter St.citycafemenu.com

Map these locations on chatta-noogapulse.com. Send event list-ings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected]

26 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

In Susan Sontag’s book of essays On Photography, she described

the role of street photographer as a “voyeuristic stroller” and “an armed version of the solitary walker reconnoitering, stalking, cruising the urban inferno.” With poet Charles Baudelaire’s concept of the “flâneur” in mind—a lei-surely urban stroller/explorer—Sontag’s word choices convey a slight aggression, beyond Baude-laire’s “passionate spectator” who can be, somewhat paradoxically,

detached yet empathetic. These ideas come to mind

when listening to Comme Un Seul Narcisse, a long-distance collaboration between Felicia At-kinson, a French artist working out of the Alps, and the NYC-based Jefre Cantu-Ledesma, a co-founder of the group Tarentel and of the Root Strata label.

Comme Un Seul Narcisse strikes this writer as being the output of an aural flâneur, armed with a portable recorder rather

than a camera, with field re-cordings edited together with minimal instrumentation and the spirit of electro-acoustic experi-mentation. The result is delicate and cryptic, with various mo-ments like the sound of broken glass being sifted, electronic chirps, whispered French words, artificial chimes that bounce be-tween the left and right channels, and disquieting low hums.

Instead of an urban landscape, Comme Un Seul Narcisse of-fers a nature walk among a few disparate synthetic elements, and the soft sound of footsteps along with a few dog barks and bird songs combine mystery with comfort. This is not a guided tour, though—the choreographed steps of a guided tour are far from the wandering, sauntering atti-tude presented here.

Although gentle and often calming, it is an album that will not appeal to everyone because of its lack of conventional mu-sic and melodies. However, this writer finds it compelling and fascinating and is surprised that the sound of, say, fabric rubbing

against a microphone can be made to be so intimate and entic-ing for voyeuristic listeners.

The new album from the mas-ter keyboardist and impro-

viser Thollem McDonas, under his plugged-in moniker “Thol-lem Electric,” has the cheery title Operation Sunbeam, which has a disturbing twist: that’s the name of the final series of above-ground nuclear tests conducted at the Nevada Nuclear Test Site in 1962. The album’s cover art, fea-turing a ballet dancer in front of a mushroom cloud, is not a Photo-shopped composite, but an actual photo used in the ‘50s to promote nuclear testing.

This odd combination of glee-ful vibrancy and massive amounts of destructive energy is appropri-ate for the album, which could be likened to a grinning, uncon-trollable madman driving a tank down a city street, flattening ev-erything in his path.

McDonas, who has released dozens of albums and collaborat-ed with everyone from guitarist Nels Cline (Wilco) to jazz bass-

ist William Parker to Mike Watt (Minutemen), is primarily known for his acoustic piano work, but he eagerly introduces electronic instruments into his arsenal. His primary keyboard on Operation Sunbeam is a modified Yamaha PF10 from the early ‘80s, and he uses a variety of effect pedals—distortion, ring modulation and more—to dirty things up or pro-vide a sort of sci-fi sheen.

Operation Sunbeam was re-leased on the label Aural Films, which has a unique shtick: its releases are soundtrack albums for non-existent movies. Clearly, Operation Sunbeam conveys the chaos, mayhem and troubling mutations that might be shown in a cold-war-era mid-20th-century sci-fi flick, with McDonas’ im-provisations that harness a dark energy into piercing runs or pro-vide a sort of nauseous uneasi-ness.

With McDonas’ piano work, he is always one step ahead of the game, crafting skillful runs and vamps that flow seamlessly together; here, the game seems to be different, with McDonas relinquishing a certain amount of control to the effect pedals and their grotesque manipulations, then constantly reacting to each new sound and mood.

While somewhat sinister, Op-eration Sunbeam is also oddly nourishing and not wearying, as if to say, “Here, enjoy this re-freshing blast of wind from this nuclear explosion.”

RECORD REVIEWSERNIE PAIK

Long Distance Collaboration, Nuclear Testing Set To MusicAtkinson and Cantu-Ledesma come together, McDonas amps up angst

Felicia Atkinson and Jefre Cantu-LedesmaComme Un Seul Narcisse(Shelter Press)

Thollem ElectricOperation Sunbeam(Aural Films)

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 27

28 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Consider Thiswith Dr. Rick

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just ex-ist.” — Oscar Wilde

What floats your boat? What do you love doing, talking about, thinking about? Where lies your happiness, and how often do you access it? In sum, what’s your bliss?

Freud said we all need two things: to work and to love. Here are some questions to consider: Working (at our jobs, careers, school-ing or volunteerism) is important for a sense of purpose—a reason to wake up and get out of bed every day. We spend a third of our lives (at least) at work. How fulfilling is yours? You’re never too old to change paths, if that’s what you need to do.

We all need to give and receive love, from a sig other…or family…or good friends. Are you happily single, or happily involved? Need to ponder your love life and set your intentions for romantic bliss? At the end of your story, will you have merely existed, or really lived?

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 29

ACROSS1 Capital / south of / Ecuador5 Place to / do Zumba, / perhaps8 Ebert or / Siskel’s / “ratings” / figures?14 Autobio / by Turow / based at / Harvard15 Edge of a / garment16 Deletes17 H.S. class / with lab / studies18 “Sum,” as in / “... ergo sum”19 Harriet / Tubman’s / new bill20 Harold’s / titular / best bud22 Abbr. in a / to-let ad24 Speck in / one’s eye25 Muscat’s / natives27 Duncan’s / nemesis / in a Bard / tragedy30 Genre of / Yanni or / crystal / healing31 Actress / Sorvino32 British / lexicon, / in brief34 & 36. Guy who’d / sell you / Gruyere37 How your / senator / signals / dissent38 Tattoos, / in slang

41 & 42. Tonight43 GQ staff, / briefly44 Leaping / A. A. Milne / young ‘un45 & 46. WWE Hall / of Famer / who’s now / “The Body ... / Politic?”48 Georgia / capital, / in slang49 Firenze / flooder, / in Italy51 Lyle who / was seen / on old TV / sitcoms55 Star who / is not as / notable57 Do a film / editor’s / job, once58 Class of / numbers?59 Make the / motor go / vroom in / neutral61 Hunt who / saw cows / fly by in / “Twister”62 Dress to / sing in a / chorale, / perhaps65 Bowlful / you sink / chips in67 Feeling / pleased68 ___ a living69 Defunct / GM brand70 Monthly / payment, / perhaps71 African / malaria / carrier

72 Lamb’s ma73 “... ___ it seems”

DOWN1 Aim at, as / a target2 Inter, or / put back / a casket3 “Big Bang / Theory”’s / “grandma” / moniker / (i.e., as per / Sheldon)4 “Farmer’s” / ref full / of facts5 Letters / beneath / a four, on / a keypad6 It opens / on every / January7 “Humming” / part of a / tagline / for soup8 Letters / like .doc, / but for a / Notepad / file ext.9 Cut with / an axe in / a forest10 Funk hit / for Bill / Withers11 Sound of / droning / on and on, / on and on ...12 Beavis’s / partner / in crime13 Eye sore?21 Punch by / a leftie / no boxer / expects

23 “Amen! You / ___!” (“Right on!”)26 “Now wait / for just / a moment ...”28 Upscale / sugared / hybrids / that are / usually / flakier29 Summary / of stats / in a boxy / display33 Start of / “-lexia” or / “-peptics”35 Disney’s / one-time / boss man / Michael38 George’s / lyrical / brother39 “I’ll pass”40 It bears / nuts now / used in a / limited / variety / of Pepsi47 Briskly, / in music50 Nervous52 Invoice / charger53 Pacific / plus all / the rest54 Care for56 “Go ahead, / ask away!”58 Run into60 Hilltop / feature63 Student / vehicle?64 It comes / prior to / “automne”66 “Annabel / Lee” poet

Jonesin’ Crossword MATT JONES

“The Luck / Is Yours”—with the / help of a / numeral.

Copyright © 2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0777

30 • THE PULSE • APRIL 28, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Chattanooga is a wonderful place to live. People have a whole country full of choices divided into 50 states, fur-ther divided into thousands of munici-palities…and a few hundred thousand people have chosen this one. I applaud them for this, and am proud (yes, proud) to number myself among them.

That said, Chattanooga also has a few problems, and I’m not just talking about pollen and the incoming humidity sea-son that will weigh down upon us like a pending pregnancy test.

Twelve shootings in seven days…and of those twelve, one resulted in the death of a 17-year-old and two of the vic-tims were pregnant. Pregnant!

10 a.m. 3 p.m. 1 a.m. Saturday night or Tuesday afternoon, there is no rhyme or reason, and above all, no regard for con-sequences. For God’s sake, there was a shooting during a press conference about the shootings.

What’s happened? Theories and speculation abound, but I am inclined to think that this complete failure in civi-lized behavior may at least in part be the result of the success in anti-cop “activ-ism” that has permeated the country for the last year-plus. I know…that’s crazy, but bear with me here.

Scant months ago, the space above this city was filled with a cacophony of voices populated by those so desperate for an argument against police that they would latch on to any reason a police of-ficer was forced to fire his or her weapon and declare it an “injustice,” regard-less of facts, when the losing end of the shooting was a person of color (so long as that color is black, I mean).

In this case was that person holding a raised gun (and a knife for good mea-sure) charging a uniformed police of-ficer who placed himself between the gentleman in question and a 4-year-old child he had just fired that gun next to inside his house. It was captured on

video, outdoors, along with roughly three to four minutes of footage up to that point where police, neighbors, and relatives were begging him by name to drop that gun. And yes, he was shot a second time because, ac-cording to media reports and subject matter experts, he was theorized to be still holding the gun and posing a threat, just as the man that killed Sergeant Tim Chapin did (from the ground). That was their “injustice against people of color.”

Protest marches with up to eleven par-ticipants were conducted; fundraisers were held for the victim’s family.

Flash forward to April now, when there are twelve people of color shot in a seven-day period by other people of col-or in every case so far…and the “Voices of Justice” are curiously silent.

Yes, I am aware that these lives are only a point of focus for activism when they involve police interaction, which was not the case these last few weeks. But how can you state that you are an advocate for justice, and specifically wanting “to ad-dress gang violence in our city through the elimination of root causes of vio-lence—not through the mass incarcera-tion of our youth” when you ignore gang violence unfolding in the same commu-nity in unprecedented levels when you know it will guarantee police interven-tion? You can raise a torch for something even superficially as ridiculous a cause as the incident with Javario Eagle…but go Cold War-silent now of all times?

Chattanooga didn’t suddenly import

dozens of fearless gang members. Chat-tanooga had no “Ferguson-like” flash-point that sparked this violence. But Chattanooga does have a vocal minor-ity that advocates police as being the criminals and the criminals as being victims (even when those “victims” are attacking children and cops with a knife and a gun). Chattanooga now has gang members telling police officers to their face they are outgunned and they can’t be stopped despite no “Baltimore-like” pattern of abuse. Coincidence?

No “anti-violence” marches. No “fundraising” is being promoted. And a strong police response is a foregone con-clusion, yet…crickets from the peanut gallery.

Now that you’re seeing the results of undercutting the only group that’s actu-ally trying to do something about this violence, why don’t you take a break and ask a new question in these com-munities: When your kids are walking to school or playing in the yard…who are you afraid of? The police—or the gang members they’re trying to stop?

Protest the Protesters, people. I be-lieve the time for distractions is over.

(Just a theory, of course.)

So...Where Are They Now?Officer Alex weighs on in hypocritical “justice” activism

COLUMNON THE BEAT

“When your kids are walking to school or playing in the yard…who are you afraid of? The police—or the gang members they’re trying to stop?”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not pa-trolling our fair city on the heels of the crimi-nal element, he spends his spare time volun-teering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

ALEX TEACH

Illustration by Eduard Piél

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • APRIL 28, 2016 • THE PULSE • 31

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