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NAME_____________________________

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Cast of Characters:

STAGE MANAGER – Allison Miller

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR – Hannah Conrad

ACTRESS 1 – Greenlea Smith

STAGE HAND – Harmony Maye

NARRATOR 1 – Jailah Layton

MALE THESPIAN – Alex Rubenstein (also appearing as Game Show Host)

FEMALE THESPIAN – Sara Weeks

CHOREOGRAPHER – Sidney Pack

NARRATOR 2 – Madison Curran

SHAKESPEARE PAST AND PRESENT –Sharisse McPhail/Jordan Riveria

JO – Greenlea Smith (Stage Manager Understudy)

MEG – Dorothy Newman (Assistant Director Understudy)

BETH – Taylor Barber

AMY – Lauren Childers

MALE JO – Clay Bullog

MALE MEG – Jaxon Sidden

MALE BETH – Tristan Miller

MALE AMY – AJ Kay

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER – Chapman Tucker

SNOWWHITE – Kelsi Dease

CINDERELLA – Mary Catherine McClellan

SLEEPING BEAUTY – Hannah Pratt

NARRATOR 3 – Matt White

ANNIE – Anna Childers

MS HANNIGAN – Gabby Carrier

PEPPER (the tough orphan) – Annie Klipa

JULY (the motherly orphan) – Emma Pope

TESSA (the whiny orphan) – Haley Campbell

DUFFY (the bossy orphan) – Chelsey Maloney

KATE (the shy orphan) – Sidney Pack

MOLLY (the silly orphan) – Zeriah Speights

OFF STAGE VOICE (reader of note Annie Left) – Sarah Weeks

GAME SHOW ANNOUNCER – Aiden Jenkins

GAME SHOW HOST – Alex Rubenstein

GAME SHOW HOSTESS – Dorothy Newman

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SCENE 1 - NOT JUST ANOTHER OPENIN’ OF ANOTHER SHOW #1 SFX CUE ____________ SPOT ON SM and AD center stage (all cast is milling around stage working, cutting up, etc, on cue everyone freezes STAGE MANAGER (hesitantly...looking out at the audience) whoa, what are all these people doing here? (looks at watch, panics) Oh, the show….Umm….good evening. Uh, how’s everyone doing? Ok, well uh, listen, hey I’ll be right back (back curtain closes SM exits stage left and heard snapping at the AD) Don’t give me that, what do you mean it’s not your fault? Listen, you’re in this as deep as I am. Deeper….now get out here….now! (pushes AD on stage) ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - (smiling at audience) Well, hello everyone. It’s great to see so, so many people could make it out today. I’m Hannah and I’m the assistant director of the the DCMS fall production….and this (pulls SM over to center stage) is ______________ and she’s the show’s stage manager. She’s the one responsible for making sure everything goes according to the director’s wishes. STAGE MANAGER - uh, hi again….we met...earlier…. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - ….and we’d like to thank everyone for coming out, like I said before, it’s great to see so, so many people here to support Dutchman Creek...home of the mighty Gators. (overly enthusiastic) STAGE MANAGER - yes….it’s great to see so, so many people here. We will be ready in just a few minutes to present to you the show we’ve worked so hard on all semester...it’s the show….(to AD) uh, what’s the name of the show again? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - What?! What do you mean what’s the name of the show? You don’t know? STAGE MANAGER - Well, I thought you knew, you are the assistant director you know. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - You’re the stage manager. Didn’t you help Mrs. Klipa hang the publicity posters two weeks ago? What was the name on those posters? (gets a blank stare) What are you looking at me like that for? I was there when you insisted on getting out of science class to hang those posters….what did they say? STAGE MANAGER - well, no. We had a test that day so I wasn’t allowed to help. What do you mean, I’m the stage manager. You’re the Assistant Director...you know you’re second in command. Surely you know. Weren’t you at the dress rehearsal last night, you know, sitting there doing nothing while I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off making sure everything was ready to go for the show….today?

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ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - well, I couldn’t make it to the dress rehearsal. I had to go to a funeral. STAGE MANAGER - whose funeral? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - uh, my grandmother’s STAGE MANAGER - Your grandmother’s? I’ve known you for 10 years now and in that time you’ve gone through at least 10 grandmothers. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Hey what can I say, I come from a big family. STAGE MANAGER – sounds more like a cult to me! #2 SFX cue (cell phone rings) ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - okay, whose is it. Who is the inconsiderate moron who didn’t turn their phone off before the show started. I mean seriously, don’t you all know it’s common courtesy and audience etiquette protocol to turn your phone off before…(suddenly realizes the phone that’s ringing belongs to her/him) Hello? Oh, hey, listen I’m kind of in the middle of something and I really can’t talk right...what...are you serious? SHUT-UP! No she did not! There’s no way she would do that. Where did you get this info (interrupted by the stage manager clearing throat) Wait, hold on one second, can’t you see I’m on the phone, is there something you needed me for that’s so important it can’t wait? Talk about rude?! (stage manager gestures to audience throwing hands in the air) Okay, I’m back now, as you were saying…. (stage manager rips the phone out of AD’s hand and flings it back stage….off stage scream is heard) ACTOR - Ouch, something just hit me over the head...who threw this anway? Oh, wait, sweet it’s an iPhone 6 STAGE MANAGER - (to the AD ignoring Actress) What do you think you’re doing? We’re in the middle of a show! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - duh...do you think I’m an idiot? I am the assistant director you know! STAGE HAND - (coming out on stage) hey listen, excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt, but we’ve got some problems here ASSISTANT DIRECTOR – oh, no….it’s my phone isn’t it...did it break...did the screen crack? Please say it didn’t… STAGE HAND - No, uh, it’s not your phone. I’m pretty sure it’s a little more serious than that….I found this back stage, it’s a note from Mrs. Klipa SD AND AD - Well, what’s it say...

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STAGE HAND - Do you want me to read it...now? Like out loud? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - No, how about you read it to yourself and we just get it by osmosis or something….yes, we want you to read it out loud STAGE HAND - ok, here it goes, it says (looking at note) My dearest Students, The best of luck to you on tonight’s show. Although we are scheduled to perform the Sound of Music tonight, after last night’s dress rehearsal, it is obvious you clearly aren’t ready, regardless of the fact we paid a hefty royalty fee for performance rights. Anyway, I would like to say something positive to give you all some motivation, but the real truth is that since none of you bothered to memorize your lines, finish the set, or clean up after yourselves EVER, I decided that I have no more words of inspiration for you. I imagine you have a packed house tonight for the show. I’m sure by now you’re wondering what in the world you’re going to do since I’m not there to pick up the pieces. Well you should have thought about that when you left your scripts all over the place for me to pick up or when you left all the paint and paint brushes out. I’m now on my way to New York City. I’m tired and I’ve had it. Adios, good luck amigos….you’ll need it. STAGE MANAGER - Very funny, now where is she? Mrs. Kipa….where are you? Are you hiding? You’re not fooling us, come out, come out wherever you are! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - uh, I really don’t think she’s coming back. STAGE MANAGER - what do you mean she’s not coming back...this has to be some kind of joke or something ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - No, it’s no joke, in fact it’s all making sense now. STAGE MANAGER - what do you mean it’s making sense now...nothing about this is making any sense! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Well, you know that phone call I got a few minutes ago? The caller...and I am sworn to secrecy so I can’t say who it was, said she saw Mrs. Klipa heading away from the school. She was singing Pharell’s song Happy to the top of her lungs and she was throwing scripts and costumes out her window on her way out of the parking lot. STAGE MANAGER - you have got to be kidding me. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - I’m afraid not. STAGE HAND – Yep, she’s right, she’s finally done it...she’s chasing her dreams. Godspeed Mrs. Klipa, wherever you are. (pause)

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ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Hey listen, we’ve got a real problem here. All of these people are expecting a show and are going to want there money back if, if….(to the audience) STAGE MANAGER – duh…you think?...and how is that my problem? You are the assistant director and according to The Law of Theatrical Productions, in the event of the director’s absence, the assistant director will take full charge and become first in command…(waits for AD to respond, when it’s obvious she’s not, SM says to the audience) uh, excuse me for a moment please, I’ll be right back, our actors are ready but just a little nervous (run off stage left returns with several scripts and the rest of the cast) here, everyone take a script, pick a scene and get to work We’ll call you when we’re ready for you. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - They can’t memorize a whole scene in a few minutes STAGE MANAGER - Well, they can wing it, you know...improvisation. We can call it “the history of theatre arts class”...a showcase of scenes! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - (sarcastically) oh, that’s real exciting STAGE MANAGER - Fine, you run the show then! STAGE HAND – (to assistant director) Listen, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but if I were you and I had all these people waiting on a show, I’d take her offer and run! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR (sighing) - ok everyone...you heard the stage manager. Everyone grab a script and get to work! STAGE MANAGER - Yeah, we can do this...we don’t need that Mrs. whats her name anyway. STAGE HAND - uh….do you mean Mrs. Klipa? STAGE MANAGER - Yeah, whatever… ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Listen, maybe we should call this whole thing off, you know refund people’s money… STAGE MANAGER - (grabs AD) I’m running the show now, you hear me? The show is only as good as it’s backstage crew. These people came for some entertainment, and we’re going to give it to them and besides, you know the saying, well probably not, but…The Show Must Go On! (slowly releases grip of the assistant director) And now ladies and gentlemen, join us as we walk down memory lane and review what we’ve learned this past year in theatre arts...with some new twists on some old classics… (Sound FX Cue _________lights fade spot on Male and Female Thespian)

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NARRATOR - Before we begin to delve into the act of acting, it’s important to understand how acting became active even before the first act was set into action. Before we get into the real act, we have to wade through over 5,000 years of history first. Wait! Don’t head for the door quite yet! You won’t have to memorize any dates or anything, and you won’t actually learn a thing, but the sooner we rip off this proverbial band-aid of history, the sooner we can get into the good stuff we all know and love. We’ll start in Egypt…. (Male and Female Thespian enter and stand in stereotypical Egyptian form with arms pointed in opposite directions) NARRATOR - Theatre started in Egypt nearly 5,000 years ago. There were five major types of plays….Life after death…. MALE THESPIAN - (FT holds knife up as if she is going to stab him) hey, what are you doing with that knife? (FT “stabs” MT he dies and a moment later stand up and they both take a bow) NARRATOR - Plays about magical healing… FEMALE THESPIAN - (in a commercial voice) that’s right, if you order now, we’ll send you not one but two vials of healing balm made from 100% camel dropping. Just a dab of this under the tongue will make you forget whatever it was that’s ailing you. Side effects include halitosis and rotting teeth. Order yours today! NARRATOR 2 - ..uh, moving right along...let’s skip the rest of Egypt and move on to Greece (SOUND F/X cue______...Thespians put on their 50’s costume and dance to “You’re the One that I want) NARRATOR - uh, excuse me, she was talking about the country Greece, not the musical. MALE THESPIAN - oh, yeah, right. FEMALE THESPIAN - we knew that, well not really but can we keep the costumes anyway? NARRATOR 2 - yeah, fine. Anyway, the Greeks developed the tragedy, the first trilogies… MALE THESPIAN - You mean the Greeks were responsible for creating the Hunger Games - cool! FEMALE THESPIAN - you’re such an idiot!

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NARRATOR - (interrupting) AND...traveling story tellers would perform from memory, the most famous epic poems of the time such as Homer’s Illiad and the Oddesy. At the same time, there was a great battle over the most beautiful woman in the world…. FEMALE THESPIAN - (strikes a pose) I am Helen, the face that launched a thousand ships….. MALE THESPIAN - Seriously, I mean no offense, but we do want to make this believable, don’t we? FEMALE THESPIAN - ooh...when do I get to kill him again? NARRATOR - Not until the Romans, but they’re up next…. FEMALE THESPIAN - ooh...I am so ready for the Romans! NARRATOR 2 - These stories were full of adventure and strange creatures like the Cyclops FEMALE THESPIAN - (gesturing to MT) Talk about typecast NARRATOR - and sorcerers who would turn people into pigs MALE THESPIAN - (to FT) hey, here’s your big cue… FEMALE THESPIAN - ooh...when do I get to kill him again? NARRATOR - . So, moving right along….The Roman empire eventually fell because they spread their armies too thin but China was also pioneering drama as far back as 2000 BC. It started as interpretive dance, ancestor worship, military celebrations...and oh, I forgot to mention….all female roles were played by men (FT takes off poodle skirt and makes MT put it on). MALE THESPIAN - great...I’m never going to live this down. NARRATOR - Eventually modern theatre came to England MALE THESPIAN - (to FT) Thank goodness...let me get this thing off. NARRATOR - BUT all female parts were still played by males. MALE THESPIAN - listen, ain’t nobody got any time for this….what was wrong with these people anyway? (ASSISTANT DIRECTOR AND STAGE MANAGER quietly enter watching the action while munching on popcorn) NARRATOR - the Elizabethan period brought in the greatest writer of all time: William Shakespeare...meanwhile in Italy, Commedia Dell’Arte was taking off. These were short plays performed in the streets and included

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improvisation, mimes (MT pretends he is in a box, FT mimes she is pulling on an imaginary rope)…..uh, and jugglers (MT pull out four balls and thows them all in the air, then covers head as they all come crashing down) MALE THESPIAN - oops I forgot, I can’t juggle, do you think anyone noticed? FEMALE THESPIAN - na, are you kidding, you pulled it off like a pro...idiot!~ (MT throws a ball at FT and a fight erupts) STAGE MANAGER - ok, that’s quite enough. Listen that was great, but I think they get the point. NARRATOR - wait, we still have over 400 years to go. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - it’s over….now take your bow and exit! NARRATOR - but…. STAGE HAND - Listen, just do what you’re told and maybe we’ll bring you out for an encore or something/ NARRATOR - Fine, c’mon guys (N, FT, MT exit stage left) STAGE MANGER - Did your mother drop you on your head as a child, or something? Do you even know what it takes to get through a show, let alone get to the encore? STAGE HAND- Listen, I only took this job because I like to boss people around. It’s not my fault we were abandoned. STAGE MANAGER - Ok, let’s just get on with the show. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - What show? STAGE MANAGER - What show?! We are in so much trouble STAGE HAND- you got that right….look what’s coming now….

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SCENE 2 – LITTLE WOMEN REMIX (Jo, Meg, Beth Amy-Little Women enter the stage in jeans, t-shirts holding picket signs) STAGE MANAGER - Ladies, what’s going on, you aren’t even in costume! JO - Listen, we’re tired of this….we want our rights. We refuse to allow you to continue the oppression of women any more….what do you think, we’ll just bow down and take any part you give us? MEG - Making us put on dresses, that make us itch and are not very flattering , I might add! BETH - yeah, and waiting around for men to find our characters worthy enough to marry… AMY - and what a degrading title!~ STAGE MANAGER - What are you talking about? Little Women is one of the exceptions in American Literature….it’s a classic! JO - Listen bud, don’t even try to act like you understand. STAGE MANAGER - But Little Women is a work that’s different. It has many strong female roles, while the majority of contemporary plays leave women with minor, one dimensional roles. Besides what would you rather they have named it...Big Women? (laughs at his own joke) MEG - Now wait just one minute, are you calling us fat? JO - We ought to sue you for that one. This is slander I tell you, slander! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - No, no that’s not what she meant, what she meant was... BETH - Listen, we know about all those other plays, like Man of La Mancha, Music Man, and now Spiderman….why didn’t we get cast into one of those roles! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Because there are four of you and those productions only have one major role, and it just happens to be male AMY - That’s just another of your controlling lies. We aren’t going to allow you to rule this theatre any longer with your male chauvinistic and controlling ways. STAGE MANAGER- Listen, just perform your scene and maybe you can talk about a different play tomorrow.

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JO – You know what, no we’re sick of playing second string to men all the time. Besides, any historian of broadway knows that the real star of broadway is a woman. Ethel Murman, Mary Martin, Carol Channing Kristen Chenowith…they’re all legendary ladies who continue to brighten the path to the great white way. So, no more arguing..and no more discussion. We’re officially on strike and besides, as we heard earlier women’s roles were often times played by men? Am I right Ladies? (other Little Women agree 100%) Come on out boys…show us what you got! (SFX CUE______/SONG “DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY”) (SPOT on boys entering stage left) STAGE HAND – Oh, wow…looks like you just got chirped…turn up! I’m outta here! (exits SR) ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - What in the world is going on….please don’t tell me you guys are actually in on this. MALE MEG - Well, you see it’s a long story but…(interrupted by Male JOE) MALE JOE - Dude, don’t tell him! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Tell me what?! MALE MEG – Now Jo, your not playing fair. The girls do have a point you know. MALE JO - Dude will you just keep your mouth shut already? JO - Enough already boys…. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - (to SM) so now what do we do, Einstein. JO - Listen, I’ll tell you what we’re going to do...these boys are going to play out a scene of Little Women, if it was good enough for Homer, it’s good enough for Louisa...(clearing her throat and taking center stage) and now ladies and gentlemen, we present to you our rendition of (clearing her throat again) ...Little Women (pushes boys out to downstage center)…Let the Diva Wars begin! MALE MEG - Hi, I’m Meg, I’m the eldest and most practical of my sisters….not to mention the most beautiful (poses as a model would) MALE JO - Hi I’m Jo and, and I feel so fat in this nightgown...how did I get stuck with this one? I think I must have the wrong gown on…it feels so tight and makes me feel so, so bloated. BETH - now, now Jo...you know that’s not your line. I don’t mean to sound cross, but you’re ruining the illusion of reality here...

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MALE JO - Well, it’s true…I think Amy must have my gown on…Amy switch me dresses…. MALE AMY – Don’t want to, don’t have to and your not my mother so quit trying to boss me around. Besides, I’m bored, so let’s have some fun! MALE BETH - now Amy, you know it’s getting close to our bedtime...we do need our beauty sleep, you know. MALE MEG - oh hush Beth! Quit being such a spoil sport. Amy, what did you have in mind? MALE AMY - Well, we could play my favorite game? It’s 4 square…what do you girls say?! MALE BETH - Amy, so close to bedtime? Besides, 4-square sounds a little racy to me...do you think father would approve? MALE AMY - Who cares! Father is off at war he’ll never find out! MALE MEG - Now, now sisters we can’t play four square in our nightgowns. MALE AMY – Well Meg, do you have a better suggestion? MALE MEG – well, we could quiz each other on our multiplication tables. MALE BETH - oh, Meg, that’s a grand idea. I love multiplication skills and drills…ooh, ooh, can I go first…please? MALE MEG – sure Beth, you go first…now, whoever gets the most facts correct gets to assign their chores to another sister so listen carefully, go on, Beth, go on MALE BETH – Ok, let’s see…..oooh, I got it…. who knows what 6x6 is? MALE MEG - Beth, Beth, Beth…tsk, tsk, tsk, you should know better than that….why 6 is the devil’s number...shame on you! MALE BETH - (Begins to cry) oh my, I-I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to turn this into anything naughty... MALE JO – oh, for the love of….are you all serious…this is ridiculous…. I’m done. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done and if you tell anyone, I’ll…(interrupted by Beth) MALE BETH - oh, oh, please don’t quit now, please Jo, don’t be a spoil sport. I love this game and to be honest….(slyly) I’m starting to feel really cozy and comfy in this dress. MALE JO - uh, I wouldn’t say that too loud if I were you….

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MALE MEG – Why, why Jo…I will say it out loud…I’m not ashamed. I’ve never worn a dress either and I’m experiencing a comfort level I’ve never known in my entire life! (“real” little women storm up to center stage where boys are “acting”) JO - All right, that’s enough. You guys can’t even stay in character long enough to make this thing believable. Besides, if you’re actually enjoying yourself, then this is completely pointless! AMY - Well, I don’t think it’s completely pointless...I mean look at them… MEG - they look pretty pathetic to me, but you know, they are kind of cute. BETH - well, you’re right, but I’m so glad I have sisters instead of brothers….boys are downright weird! JO – Well, you girls do have a point…I must admit, they do look pretty goofy and now that I think about it, there’s nothing funnier than a guy in a dress…especially these 4 goof balls. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - ok, let’s call it a wrap. That was kind of humorous, but people came here tonight to see The Sound of Music, not some Las Vegas act. JO - ok then, let’s take our bow and exit...we don’t want to over extend our welcome now, do we? Good luck to both of you and break a leg I think you’re going to need it! You girls, er I mean boys come along now and hang those nightgowns up exactly how you found them, you hear? BOYS - yes, ma’am (follows girls obediently off stage left) STAGE HAND – (enters SR) Is the freak show over? Man, talk about the secret life of the American teenager….listen, I’m not trying to tell you all what to do, but I’m pretty sure we could get in trouble for allowing those boys in the doors wearing those nightgowns. Something tells me that is nowhere in the dress code. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR – (to SM) ok, Einstein, so, what else do you have up your sleeve? STAGE MANAGER - oh, don’t you worry...our next act is ready and waiting in the wing… STAGE HAND (after spotting the Narrator) Woowwww….just when I thought it couldn’t get any weirder…(spot on Narrator standing DSR)

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SCENE 3 - SHAKESPEARE PAST AND PRESENT NARRATOR 2 – and now straight from the pages of our history books and the modern day vh1 data base, we’d like to present to you Shakespeare, past and present! SHAKESPEARE PAST Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. SHAKESPEARE PRESENT (clearing throat) hold on there mini Shakespeare, let’s add a little rhythm to this thing…. Verona’s the place where our play is picked. Two families lived there, and man were they ticked, Their ancient grudge match happened before the story And rekindled hatred made their fighting more gory Straight from the home of those two mentioned above Came kid one and kid two...and they fell in love. But alas...it happened it really did they ended their life number one and two kid their families forced them by fitful frenzied fights and they just couldn’t deal with all the parental strife This act of violence brought the two couples together and friendly they became and life got much better. They’d go biking, play games and mud wrestle in the grass People would stare oddly each time they passed Now we don’t recommend to taking ones life as a method to cure your neighborly strife It’s an idea old Shakespeare used very well and it worked so well, that his plays still sell Romeo and Juliet - a classic for the age but please leave the drama and dying for the stage (takes a bow) ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Hold, it hold it, hold it! What are they doing doing? NARRATOR 2 - uh, the prologue….as in Romeo and Juliet, from Shakespeare...you know, the world’s greatest playwright? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - The prologue? NARRATOR 2 - Yes, the prologue. It’s an an opening to a story that establishes the setting, gives background details, and introduces the main characters STAGE MANAGER - Well, now that’s not exactly the way I remember the prologue to Romeo and Juliet….

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ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Well, I don’t remember it at all, so at least you’re one step ahead of me. Who’s this Shakespeare dude anyway. STAGE HAND – (pulling Assistant Director to the side), Listen, again, I’m not trying to tell either one of you what to do, but if I were you and I was the Assistant Director of a show, I probably wouldn’t let on I didn’t know who William Shakespeare was. NARRATOR 2- Why, William Shakespeare is the father of the theatre. His works are still popular today. They not only live on in the stage, but also in our daily lives. And don’t worry, not everyone knows about Shakespeare so your not alone. For every person who is familiar with the writing of William Shakespeare, there are at least 5 who aren’t. The irony is that Shakespeare’s language isn’t as unfamiliar as everyone thinks. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Well I didn’t understand any of that mumbo jumbo you were spewing, so I don’t have any idea how you think Shakespeare is relevant to the stage of today. But go ahead, please explain (to SM) I can’t wait to hear this one! NARRATOR 2 - Did you know that many figures of speech we still use today came from the pen of Shakespeare? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Like what? NARRATOR 2 - Well, you’ve probably quoted Shakespeare thousands of times without realizing it. STAGE MANAGER - Oh, I seriously doubt that… NARRATOR 2 - Well, let’s see….If your homework gets you “in a pickle”, your friends have you “in stitches”, or your guests “eat you out of house and home”, then you’re quoting Shakespeare. If you are a “sorry sight” then you may be “dead as a doornail”. “Too much of a good thing” may lead you to “set your bags packing”. Ever been a “laughing stock”? Then don’t be someone who “wears their heart on their sleeve” or your friends just may “vanish into thin air”. You see, Shakespeare’s writing lives on in today’s language, culture and literary traditions because his influence became an essential building block in the development of the English language. His writing is so deeply engrained in our culture, that it is impossible to imagine modern literature or the stage without him. As a result, over 400 years later, we still quote him in our every day lives. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Four hundred years? No wonder you’re dressed like an idiot. Listen, that’s all really cute but we need to get down to business. I mean, I don’t know if you noticed, but a few members of the audience are acting like they actually enjoy this stuff.

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STAGE MANAGER - ok well it’s obvious that you just missed the whole point of that. So Goldilocks, what do you suggest we do next? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR – what do I suggest, what do I suggest????….I suggested we give everyone their money back, but nooooo you had to throw in that stupid quote about the show must go on. STAGE HAND – Now listen, you need to quit arguing and come up with a plan….you still have 30 minutes of entertainment to provide. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Uh excuse me, but what do you think we’ve been doing? So, what do you have in mind? STAGE MANAGER - Well, I think we should provide some education for our audience. STAGE HAND - well, they look pretty educated to me. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - are you kidding me? I mean the dummies are just sitting there while He/she is up here trying to get his/her act together. STAGE MANAGER - Well then, do you have a better suggestion? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - (pauses) uh, no, no, not really…. (STAGE MANGER gives ASSISTANT DIRECTOR a look that “could kill” until interrupted by the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER’S entrance)

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SCENE 4 – THE FORMULA SCRIPT (SUBSTITUTE TEACHER enters from back of auditorium.) SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - uh, excuse me, could one of you help me. I’m here to sub for Mrs. Klipa and I can’t seem to locate her room...…(interrupted by STAGE MANAGER but continues to fumble through notes)) STAGE MANAGER - Wait, Mrs. Klipa brought in a sub for the performance? Is she crazy? SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - no, no...I think she took a leave of absence to study abroad or something. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Well, did she leave you any plans, what do her notes say? SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Well let’s see (looking at clip board) This says you are to study the art of the formula script STAGE HAND- What in the world is a formula script? SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Well, according to my sub notes here, the formula script entails three things: a basic plot line, a couple of quirky static characters, and a change of the set every now and then. With that formula, you can crank out play after play. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Yeah, but how much cash flow will that formula generate? I mean wouldn’t the script get boring after the first show? SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - I don’t know, we could try it and see? Besides aren’t you the assistant director...shouldn’t you already know these things? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Well yeah, that’s my title, but what does your theory have to do with me? SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - I tell you what, why don’t the two of you just sit in your chairs...I see a few characters backstage who can show you how it’s done. (SFX Cue ____music plays as the 3 girls enter….lights dim, smoke machine) CINDERELLA - Once upon a time…. SNOWWHITE - Once upon a time... SLEEPING BEAUTY - Once upon a time... CINDERELLA - There was a girl named Cinderella SNOWWHITE - Snow White SLEEPING BEAUTY - and Sleeping Beauty

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CINDERELLA - Her Father was a very rich man SNOWWHITE - ...a king SLEEPING BEAUTY - a nervous ruler...but loved her very much! SNOWWHITE - an ugly queen SLEEPING BEAUTY - a wicked witch CINDERELLA - The world’s worst stepmother SLEEPING BEAUTY - cast a wicked spell... CINDERELLA - Played an evil trick on her SNOWWHITE - sent her out into the woods….alone! SLEEPING BEAUTY - Which caused her to go into a deep sleep CINDERELLA - or complete chores, even a whole merry maids team couldn’t finish SNOWWHITE - or forced her to live with 7 very small men ALL THREE - Fortunately, a handsome prince came along and rescued her from her horrid fate, and they lived happily ever after! (bows) SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Very good job girls! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - They sound all the same to me SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - ...now tell me, how did you get the job of assistant director? STAGE MANAGER - ok, I think what you’re trying to say is that you take a girl with an evil threat looming over her by some hag, a prince comes along to save the day...and the rest is history... SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Right….a fairy tale...hence the phrase “fairy tale ending” oh, wait a minute, according to my notes, the stories don’t always end so well. Sometimes there may be a beheading with lots of blood. STAGE HAND - I can’t even….(interrupted by AD) ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Well that’s fine for fairy tales, but it’s not a formula any successful playwright uses today. SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Well, according to what’s written here, you are completely and totally wrong STAGE MANAGER – Get out…she’s wrong? Well, what do you know…? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - ok then, give me one example SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Oh, I can give you more than one. You see, first you need a setting, the play needs to have a place. Then you take a villain who selfishly wants something and will do anything to get it. Control,

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manipulation, and even devastation are used as a vehicle and nothing will stop the villain until he or she is satisfied. STAGE MANAGER - Well, we know that...that’s the formula for the three fairy tales we just witnessed. SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Well, it does fit that, but sometimes the villain isn’t always a female and the victim isn’t always a beautiful young maiden. You see, sometimes the victim is an animal, a belief, or a young child who has been mistreated or misunderstood. Sometimes the hero sweeps into save them by marrying them but other times the hero just simply rescues the victim and gives them a better opportunity. (to “the cast) Now, I believe one of the groups is ready to give a living example of this theory….are you ready cast? set...action! (orphans and Annie take their place on stage)

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SCENE 5 - THE SCRIPT FORMULA IN ACTION – THE MUSICAL ANNIE NARRATOR 3 - It is December of 1933 and America is deep in the midst of the Great Depression. On the Lower East Side of New York, the Municipal Orphanage, Girls Annex, has been the drab home of 11 year old Annie for all but the first two months of her life when she was left on the front steps of the orphanage with an unsigned note saying... OFF STAGE VOICE - “please take care of our little darlin’. Her name is Annie….we have left half of a silver locket around her neck and kept the other half so that when we come back for her you will know she’s our baby” NARRATOR 3 - Early one morning, awake at 4:00AM, Annie wonders what her parents might be like. Describing her thoughts and feelings with the stirring song, Maybe, the other orphans are awakened and join her. Before too long, Miss Agatha Hannigan, the mean-tempered spinster who is in charge of the Orphanage, is furious at finding Annie and the other orphans awake so early. PEPPER – (Annie is awake and planning her escape as Pepper rushes up to her) Annie, you better go back to bed, mean old Mrs. Hannigan might wake up and punish us...you know how she hates orphans! ANNIE - I’m not an orphan, my momma and daddy are coming back for me. PEPPER - uh, Annie, we don’t got no mommas and daddies..that’s why we’re called “orphans” ANNIE - I said I’m not an orphan, they said they are coming back for me and besides, if my folks haven’t found me, I’m going to find them. PEPPER - Annie, you can’t go runnin’ away again, what if Ms. Hannigan catches you? ANNIE - She won’t DUFFY- Can't anybody get any sleep around here? MOLLY - I want my MOMMA!. DUFFY - shut your trap, Molly. Ms. Hannigan will hear you JULY - Ahh, leave the poor kid alone, she ain't doin' nuthin' to you. DUFFY She's keepin' me awake, ain't she? JULY No, you're keeping us awake-

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DUFFY You wanna make somethin' out of it? JULY How 'bout I make a pancake outta you? (DUFFY and JULY fight) TESSIE Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, they're fightin' and I won't get no sleep all night. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. MOLLY I want my mommy! ANNIE Pipe down, all of ya. Go back to sleep.(To MOLLY) It's all right, Molly. Annie's here. Now, you gotta go back to sleep. It's in the middle of the night!. MOLLY Annie… read me your note. ANNIE Again? MOLLY Please? ANNIE Sure, Molly. (Takes a crumpled note from her pocket, unfolds it and reads it to MOLLY) "Please take good care of our little darling. Her name is Annie." DUFFY (Mockingly; she has heard this note read a thousand times before) "She was born on October 28th. We will be back to get her soon." PEPPER (Mockingly) "We have left half of a silver locket around her neck and kept the other half- PEPPER, DUFFY, KATE, JULY -so that when we come back for her you will know that she's our baby." (begins to laugh) TESSIE Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, now they're laughing at Annie and that’s gonna make her real mad ANNIE (To the others) All right. Do you wanna sleep with your teeth insida your mouth or out! (Lovingly folds her note and puts it back in her pocket, begins to pack her things in her backpack) PEPPER Annie, now what are you doing? ANNIE Runnin' away. PEPPER You better not, don’t you remember what mean old Ms. Hannigan did to you the last time you tried to get outta this joint?

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TESSA – (spotting Ms. Hannigan sneaking up on Annie) Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness! Annie, Pepper….it’s mean old Hannigan…we’re in trouble now! Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! MS. HANNIGAN (sneaking up from behind) Boo! Trying to make a break again? Just what do you think you are planning to do missy? ANNIE - Are you gonna beat the tar out of me? MS. HANNIGAN - now, have I ever hit any of you? ANNIE - no, but you sure have threatened us enough times MS. HANNIGAN - Oh, hush-up ya rotten orphan. ANNIE - I’m not an orphan! You know my parents left me with a note sayin’ they’d come back for me MS. HANNIGAN (cackling) Ha, that was 1922, it’s now 1933. You’re definitely an orphan. Now….get up….all of ya! You heard me, I said get up...all of ya! Rise and Shine, get out of bed...NOW! TESSA – Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness! Ms. Hannigan, please don’t make us get out of bed…it’s soooooo cold and I’m sooooo tired! MS. HANNIGAN – I’ll Oh my goodness you! Now do what I said and get out of bed TESSA - But Ms. Hannigan, it’s the middle of the night. Are you gonna make us do chores? Please don’t make me do no more chores I’m so tired of doing chores and it’s the middle of the night and I get really scared when it’s the middle of the night MS. HANNIGAN - (mimicking) But Ms. Hannigan, it’s the middle of the night. I know it’s 4am, but that’s your problem….and besides you have Annie to thank…you hear me? TESSA – Oh, my goodness, oh my goodness, (in response to Ms. Hannigan’s look) I mean Yes, ma’m. MS. HANNIGAN - Now what do you say? What do you say? Tell me how much you love me. Rotten orphans! You kids get up and get to work. For this little shenanigan, your gonna clean this dump till it shines like the top of the Chrystler building. But first, say it. C’mon now...tell me how much you love me! ORPHANS - We love you Ms. Hannigan! MS. HANNIGAN - What’s that? I can’t hear ya?

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ORPHANS - We love you Ms. Hannigan MS HANNIGAN - huh? What’s that you are saying….I can’t heaearrrre you!? ORPHANS - We love you Ms. Hannigan MS. HANNIGAN - Now, that’s better. Now get to work….all of ya! As for me….I’m going back to sleep….I need my beauty rest….ta-ta! (on her way out SL) Stupid kids….I don’t know why anyone would want to be an orphan anyway. NARRATOR 3 - Feeling tired, rejected, and alone, Annie makes the bold choice to escape Mrs. Hannigan and once again tries to run away. (Annie runs around stage then off stage right) She ends up in New York City, befriends a dog who is being chased by the city dog catchers. Annie adopts the dog, believing that the two of them are kindred spirits. ANNIE - (spot on off stage “voice”) You’ll be my dog now. I’ll take you and love you. What’s your name, fella? Hey, I know, I’ll call you Sandy because of your nice sandy color. Don’t worry Sandy, they’re after me too, but everything is going to be fine for both of us...if not today, then Tomorrow! NARRATOR 3 – (spot on Annie cast in a “frozen position”) Back at the orphanage, Ms. Hannigans’ nerves are at the breaking point from having to put up with all of the other Little Girls when Officer Ward arrives with Annie in tow. After Officer Ward leaves, Ms Hannigan is about to clobber Annie when into the orphanage comes Miss Grace Farrell, who is the young and beautiful private secretary to Oliver Warbucks, a billionaire industrialist. Warbucks has decided to invite an orphan to spend the holidays at his home. And to the fury of Ms Hannigan, she chooses Annie and off they ride into the sunset in a limousine, of course! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - uh, a limousine….isn’t that a bit of a...stretch? (laughs/snorts at own joke...realizes nobody else thinks it’s funny) ok, well, I think I’m getting it now...let me guess Annie ends up living happily ever after with Daddy Warbucks. She gets all the toys, books, goodies her little heart desires and the other orphans have play dates with her. Mrs. Flannigan… ORPHANS – (Annie cast unfreezes and yells…) Hannigan! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - whatever the old hags name is...lives the rest of her life a miserable old woman...but Daddy Warbucks ends up permanently adopting Annie and they live happily ever after. STAGE MANAGER - You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a genius!

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ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - huh….if I am such a genius, I wouldn’t have allowed you to pull me into this crazy show in the first place! ANNIE - Now, now...is that anyway to think? It’s a Hard Knock Life for the two of you for sure, but Maybe, just Maybe, things will work out….Tommorrow! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Ok, so that’s one example….I still say there has to be a better way...a more lucrative way to cash in on the whole script writing thing…. SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Well, what do I know, I’m just a sub….I’m sure there’s someone out there who can help. STAGE MANAGER - I don’t know...I don’t think they know much about the theatre arts...I mean they look like they are actually enjoying our show. SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Well, what do we have to lose...hey..you out there...if you had to choose a playwright who has perfected the art of script writing, who would it be…(waits for audience reply, once adequate replies are shouted, audience plant yells...Rodgers and Hammerstein) See, I told you we would get some responses...so let’s focus on one of them...you pick ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - ok. let’s go with this Rodger Hammerstein person... STAGE MANAGER -. You really are such an idiot. You know it would be one thing if we were supposed to perform West Side Story or Lion King, or Phantom of the Opera...but we were supposed to be performing Sound of Music tonight. Now, tell me again how you got to be assistant director? ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Well, I happen to have a great deal of experience.. STAGE MANAGER - Go on… ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Well…….I have alot of audition experience….I’ve tried out for 14 plays and… STAGE MANAGER - oh, say no more...I get it...cast reject! Go, on... SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - ok, that’s enough...sweetie, it’s not Rodger Hammerstein, its Rodgers AND Hammerstein...they were a team! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - oh….I get it...you mean two people...like dues...a pair...like Amos and Andy, Jack and Jill, or Tweedle dum and Tweedle Dee, Adam and Eve, Batman and Robin, Lewis and Clark, Dorothy and Toto, Fred and Wilma, Kermit and Miss Piggy, there’s Lucy and Ethel, Abbott and Costello, Tarzan and Jane, Sponge Bob and Patrick, Baskin and Robbins, and Krispy Kreme!

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STAGE MANAGER - ENOUGH ALREADY! you are driving me crazy. I’m getting ready to clobber you...I’ve had enough of your, your… SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - ok, ENOUGH! AS I was saying….Rodgers and Hammerstien were responsible for bringing the best of entertainment to the Broadway stage. Productions such as Oklahoma, Carousel, The King and I, South Pacific and my personal favorite, The Sound of Music still remain as audience favorites today! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - ok, so what’s your point…we still have an audience who’s waiting for, for something! SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - My point is according to these lesson plans, each of these plays contain basically three main static characters or groups of characters. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Such as…. SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Take the protagonist…it’s the character or characters that need to be rescued. The antagonist is the character who is trying to cause harm to the protagonist. The rescuer is often known as the hero or heroine of the story. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - now, wait a minute….this is a drug free school you know. STAGE MANAGER - you know, why don’t you just go ahead and assign me BIC tomorrow...because I am going to punch her. SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - ok now, calm down. Listen, it looks like from these plans I’m supposed to play a game with you all, but I don’t think that’s the best idea for you two. So, I’m going to call out another cast member to lead the audience through this game and let them play...you two just sit over there observe. And please, no fighting. SCENE 6 - THE GRAND FINALE ANNOUNCER - And now, it's time for America's most popular family game show appearing live right here at Dutchman Creek Middle School, home of the mighty Gators…everybody’s favorite game show…Jeopardy! Here is your host Alex Rubenstein. HOST: Thank-you! Hello everyone and welcome to “DCMS Jeopardy". I hope you're as excited as I'm pretending to be, because we're ready to play the game Jeopardy. Now, before we begin the first round, I'd like to ask our studio audience to please not blurt out anything, especially something that’s not nice. You know what Dr. Williams always says…he says if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Got it? Good. Aiden, would you go ahead and call our contestants to the stage.

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ANNOUNCER – I would be happy to! Today, we have three contestants joining us for our game of jeopardy. I will choose 3 names out of this basket. If you hear your name, come on up to center stage and take your place right on the stool that has your number. Are you ready? Let’s meet the contestants! Contestant #1 come on down! You are the first contestant on our game of Jeopardy! Contestant #2 come on down! You are the second contestant on our game of Jeopardy! For our last and final guest, contestant #3 come on down! You are the final contestant on our game of Jeopardy! And now, back to you Alex. HOST Great. Let's take a look at the board. And the categories are: Musical Mysteries, The Play’s the Thing, and Creative Characters. Contestants, do you have any questions? Ok them moving on… we’ll start with the round #1 and contestant #1 from the category Musical Mysteries. Are you ready? The longest running musical on the broadway stage. (waits for contestant to respond then says either) yes, that’s correct or I’m sorry, the answer is….What is The Phantom of the Opera...this Andrew Loyd Weber production has been performed for a total of 11, 007 shows and is still going strong. Ok, moving on to contestant #2 from the category “The play’s the thing…. The character of Willy Loman, the aging tragic hero of the American Dream is featured in this 1949 release (Waits for contestant to respond then says either) yes, that’s correct or I’m sorry, the answer is….What is Death of a Salesman? Ok, moving on to contestant #3 from the category “What’s Old is New” This popular contemporary American actor, film director, and film producer with 2 academy awards under his belt will play Walter Lee Younger in a 2014 Broadway revival of Lorraine Hansberry’s “A Raisin in the Sun”

HOST - the correct answer is Who is Denzel Washington. And now for the grand finale it’s a round of double jeopardy…the winner takes all. Please listen carefully as our Game Announcer explains the rules of this round…back to you, Aiden. ANNOUNCER - Now contestants, here’s how this round will work. Our lovely game show host Ms. Dorothy Newman will bring out a bag with a costume in it for each of you. After Alex reads the entire question and as soon as you think you know the correct answer you must place the costume on that’s in the bag turn around 3x, then throw both hands in the air. The contestant who completes those steps will have first stab at the question. PLEASE NOTE: You may not begin to put your costume on until you hear the words curtain call....please listen carefully since our HOST will only read the question once. Contestants, are you ready? They are ready, Alex HOST ok, then here we go….Two teenagers meet during a school vacation and end up singing together. A few days later she moves from her home town, bringing her straight A’s to begin her new life at a new high school. Ironically enough, the new school is where her new heart throb attends. The two of them find their way back together and sing again as they

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once did. Unfortunately, with the aid of other classmates vying for the same prize, the survival of these two love birds isn’t very likely and the outcome of their relationship isn’t revealed until the final curtain call. (waits for contestants to respond) - I’m sorry but that (HSM or Grease) is not the answer. It could have been but it’s not. Thank-you contestants, you may return to your seats. I hate it that no one won can take home the prize. It was a good one…dress down days for the rest of the year. Oh, well…maybe next time and Oh and, please, leave the costumes for our next victims…I mean contestants. And this is Alex Rubenstein ANNOUNCER and Aiden Jenkins ANNOUNCER AND HOST – Signing off for this weeks game of Jeopardy (Sound FX Music ___) SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Ok, wait a minute, I think I’m getting the hang of this idea. According to my notes the contestant’s answer could have been correct, but it’s wasn’t. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - uh, I’m sorry, but this isn’t horseshoes, the contestant is either right or wrong. SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - The point is that this very description proves the theory ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Theory, what theory...this is drama, not science class. Next thing I know…(interrupted by STAGE MANAGER) STAGE MANAGER - You know, I’m not going to even waste my breath. (to SUBSTITUTE TEACHER) STAGE HAND – Well, I think what the teacher is trying to say is that the idea of Grease and HSM having the same story line, is that it proves her point of the script writing theory. Now, once again, I’m not trying to tell you all what to do, but I think it’s time to call this show a wrap. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR – Great idea Harmony, (to substitute teacher) any notes in your sub plans about bringing a show to a close? SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Oh, I think you know the answer to that question STAGE MANAGER - Ok, now I’m confused...how could she possibly know the answer to that, she knows nothing and besides, your the one with the lesson plans! SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Well let’s see….you started off with a problem, which was no director, no show and a packed house, correct?

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STAGE MANAGER - Yeah but what’s that have to do with bringing the show to a close, you know, as in bow out gracefully? SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - well, hold on a moment, according to the script theory, who do you think the victim was here. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - oh, easy, it was me, positively, absolutely, 100% me! STAGE MANAGER - oh no you don’t, I’d say I was the victim, it’s not even a close call...OR is it up for debate!

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Actually, you both were, but even though once victims with a big time problem, you used your resources, engaged your critical thinking skills, collaborated to find an answer, and as a result, you are officially life long learners because I don’t think there is anything you will ever forget about this night.

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Seriously!?

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - oh absolutely...why I’d say that this cast, led by the two of you, are the highest level performers in all of York County. Wait, forget York County...I would venture to say that you have the whole state of South Carolina beat by at least 22.5%..and I bet Dr. Williams has some data tucked away to prove it, too.

STAGE MANAGER - Well, what do you know! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - You know, I think I’m getting it…..You take us, the victim, a hero rushes in which in this case is you and the rest of our classmates, and together we were able to save ourselves from a potential disaster and actually put on a pretty good show, if I say so myself! SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Exactly, and in addition, I’d say you learned a valuable lesson! STAGE HAND - yeah, I learned something. I learned that I’m ecstatic you all are in the 8th grade and I don’t have to share the stage with you 2 bozos next year. SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - oh, c’mon now...here let me sum it up with one of my favorite quotes spoken from the wise Andrew Carnegie: Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results. STAGE MANAGER - Well, I guess you have a point there...I’d say that was us...partner! ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - We do make a great team, don’t we! I mean, we were killing it out here.

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SUBSTITUTE TEACHER - Yes, you and your classmates make a great team. You know, I really don’t think you were abandoned. I think someone knew you could pull this thing off and do it without being constantly picked up after, reminded, and coached. Now, you’ve included all the elements for a great story, so, how do you think it should end. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR – oh, that’s easy….how about a grand finale…and you know, we better feature something from the Sound of Music…I mean that’s what these people came to see. STAGE MANAGER - hey, that’s a great idea...your a lot smarter than you look…anyway…you know, this was kind of fun. We need to do this more often. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - Yep, let’s plan on it….after all...we do make a great team! It’s a Deal! (SM and AD shake hands) SCENE 7 CURTAIN CALL – CAST - SO LONG FAREWELL There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall And the bells in the steeple too And up in the nursery an absurd little bird Is popping out to say "cuckoo", cuckoo, cuckoo Regretfully they tell us but firmly they compel us To say goodbye . . . Cuckoo. . . to you! So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night (Annie Cast) I hate to go and leave this pretty sight So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu (Cinderella, SB, SW, Narrator) Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen (Shakespeare & Narrator) I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye (Little Women) I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye -- Goodbye! (“Little Men”) I'm glad to go, I cannot tell a lie I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly The sun has gone to bed and so must I (Substitute Teacher) So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye, (Stage Hand) goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye! (Assist Director/Stage Manager)

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My dearest Students, The best of luck to you on tonight’s show.

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Although we are scheduled to perform the Sound of Music tonight, after last night’s dress rehearsal, it is obvious you clearly aren’t ready, regardless of the fact we paid a hefty royalty fee for performance rights. Anyway, I would like to say something positive to give you all some motivation, but the real truth is that since none of you bothered to memorize your lines, finish the set, or clean up after yourselves EVER, I decided that I have no more words of inspiration for you. I imagine you have a packed house tonight for the show. I’m sure by now you’re wondering what in the world you’re going to do since I’m not there to pick up the pieces. Well you should have thought about that when you left your scripts all over the place for me to pick up or when you left all the paint and paint brushes out. I’m now on my way to New York City. I’m tired and I’ve had it. Adios, good luck amigos….you’ll need it.