Issue No.3 - January 11, 2012

THE WEEKLY

EXPOSING YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS!

EXPOSER!

FAMOUS GIRL-BAND MY GIRLS HAVE BROKEN UP AFTER TWO YEARS OF

SUCCESS. BAND MANAGER STEPHKLINE TOLD THE EXPOSER THAT AN

ARGUMENT TURNED INTO A PUNCH-UP WHEN THE GIRLS COULDN’T AGREE

WHO HAD THE PRETTIEST HAIR. A PHYSICAL ALTERCATION BETWEEN THE

FOUR OCCURRED LAST WEEK AT A POPULAR BRIDGEPORT CLUB. A VIRGIN

RECORDS SPOKEPERSON CONFIRMED THAT THEIR MULTI-MILLION

DOLLAR RECORDING CONTRACT HAD BEEN CANCELLED. STEPHKLINE IS NOW

SEEKING EMPLOYMENT IN THE HOSPITALITY INDUSTRY.

LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL WITH YO’ PANTS ON THE GROUND - CHECK OUT THE

DECENT EXPOSURE PHOTO SPREAD

GORDANA DATES 4000 YEAR GORDANA DATES 4000 YEAR

OLD MAN WITH SUPEROLD MAN WITH SUPER--POWERS!POWERS!

MIDNIGHT BLOOD MIDNIGHT BLOOD CHARACTERS IN CHARACTERS IN

BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE! BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE!

FIND OUT

WHAT

HAPPENS IN

CHAZZ’S NEW

SERIES

BROOKLYN

WHITFIELD!

NEW SEGMENT:

PICTURES OF

THE WEEK!

SYLENTWHYSPER’S STEAMY SYLENTWHYSPER’S STEAMY SYLENTWHYSPER’S STEAMY

GETGETGET---AWAY WITH ZAC EFRON!AWAY WITH ZAC EFRON!AWAY WITH ZAC EFRON!

KAZEE: MY HAIR ISN’T PINK BY CHOICE, BUT

A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT GONE WRONG!

ALL THINGS SIFF - KEEP UP

TO DATE ON ALL THE

LATEST CHALLENGES!

KAZEE:

WHAT DID THEY DO TO ME?

Kazee may look like a

rebellious teenager with

those pink highlights, but

she claims it’s not by

choice. Two years ago the

star builder/designer/

promoter was offered $5,000

to be a part of a drug trial

for Landgraab Pharmaceuti-

cals. The test involved her

being injected with an

untested drug, eating ginger

snaps and singing “2 become

1” by the Spice Girls, all

while standing on her head.

Unfortunately, the trial was

not successful, and some test

subjects, including Kazee,

received undesirable side

effects. Kazee told The

Exposer: “I now have

permanent pink highlights and

the ability to sniff farts,

and immediately identify who

dealt it.” Although Kazee now

has to live with these

conditions forever, she’s

made the most of it by

cashing in on them. Sunset

Valley Forensic Investigator

Hank Goddard explains: “in

many crime scenes we find

fart residue, but it was

useless as it doesn’t have a

DNA profile. With Kazee on

hand, one sniff is all it

takes. Over the last year,

we’ve made 87 arrests using

Kazee’s fart-sniffing super-

power.”

CHECK OUT KAZEE IN OUR DECENT

EXPOSURE PHOTO THREAD ON P3!

SYLENT AND ZAC’S STEAMY

VACATION TURNS BAD

SylentWhysper has taken a

break from her busy schedule

to frolic in the sand with

teen sensation Zac Efron. The

couple thought they were alone

on the beach when Sylent

wanted to rub lotion on Mr

Efron. Unfortunately for

Sylent, Zac insisted on apply-

ing it himself. A resident

peeping-tom supposedly heard

Zac say to Ms Whysper: “Stop

touching my moobs!”. With that

said, Sylent got up and

stormed off back to the hotel,

where she feasted on Reese’s

Pieces and Tootsie Rolls. The

pair were later seen in the

hotel lobby having an

argument, which abruptly put

an end to their romance. Both

parties declined to comment,

though confirmed through their

publicists that their brief

union had ended. It is rumored

that Ms Whysper had originally

cast Zac in her upcoming, yet

to be titled movie, however

this may complicate their

business relationship. Former

celebrity and life coach

Charlie Sheen gave us his

opinion on the matter: “This

was clearly a match made in

hell. The first rule in

romance is to never date a

co-worker.”

GORDANA GETS COZY ON THE RED

CARPET WITH ANTON VASILE

Gordana has been seen getting raunchy on the

red carpet with Anton Vasile at a film

premiere last week. The EoE actress was seen

with the ancient mystical being last week at

the Macedonian premiere of The Muppets. As

the photos show, they have no qualms with

public displays of affection. Witnesses at

the event saw Mr Vasile rip the front part

off Gordana’s dress, leaving little to the

imagination. As with most cases, Gordana

declined to comment, apart from saying “Mind

your own damn business!” It’s also rumored

that Gordana is involved in the upcoming

SSProductions feature Phantom of the Opera.

DECENT EXPOSUREDECENT EXPOSUREDECENT EXPOSURE Simatographers this week were asked to take their pants off and have their photo

taken for a worthy cause: Amusement. Check out the stars who weren’t too chicken

to show you what they’re made of!

JN

Bo

rdel

insk

i

Minraed

Cat

Kett

y21

Midnight445 SSProductions

AashleySEG & Bzanna

Kaz

ee

BUZZ!

MAKE AN AD! SUBMIT IT! RIGHT NOW!

SIFF POSTER DEADLINE THIS SUNDAYSIFF POSTER DEADLINE THIS SUNDAY

SO FAR, THERE ARE 14 SIFF ENTRIES FROM NINE

DIFFERENT COUNTRIES! DON’T MISS YOUR

OPPORTUNITY TO SHINE! ENTER NOW!

Forum Thread

SIFF March 2012 Playbill (so far)

FILMS

Ronson_14 - Spain

A Love That Lasts Forever .

Oak Haven Productions - UK

Cut From The Same Cloth .

ChristieL - Italy

G.03, The Final Act .

Nanami- Mexico

Mercy .

FA Productions - Argentina

NEON

Soft Ball Girl - USA

Book Traveller .

Ilya Vasilevskiy - USA

Silence .

Bordelinski Films - USA

The Island .

MUSIC VIDEOS

Demeter - USA

I Will Always Love You .

SHORTS

MJSimKat - USA

5 Facts About Me

Steph Kline - Australia

The Age of Picking

SIFF STAFF SUBMISSIONS .

AAshleySEG - USA

SIFF Movie .

JN Productions - New Zealand

Ayla the Dryad .

SS Productions Team - US/UK/Macedonia

The Phantom of the Opera

BROOKLYN WHITFIELD:

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

TO HER FATHER

Chazz(Ipodtouchgirl21) has

released a new series titled

Brooklyn Whitfield: Detec-

tive. The story starts with a

young woman named Brooklyn,

whose parents were tragically

killed in a car accident. The

story seems suspicious from

the get go, as the father’s

body was never found.

Dissatisfied with these chain

of events, The Exposer broke

into ITG Films to take a peek

at the script. We were

shocked with what we found.

As it turns out, Brooklyn

Whitfield is not a young

woman, but a large chicken

dressed as one. The disguise

is so elaborate that not even

the audience can tell. It’s

all revealed in the season

finale, when Brooklyn’s

father, a giant rooster,

appears out of the blue,

wanting to explain why he was

missing all this time. Mr

Whitfield (whose real name is

Chicken Boo) had spent months

in hiding, trying to find out

why their car crashed, and

who was responsible for the

death of his beloved wife,

Harriet the hen. According to

Mr Boo, his wife was

assassinated for revealing

the Colonial’s secret recipe

to KFC’s rival fast food

company, KFV (Kentucky Fried

Vegan). Check this series out

on channel ipodtouchgirl21.

BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE

AMONGST CO-STARS

Dusty Dreamer’s cast are

causing mayhem on the set of

the new story-series,

Midnight Blood. It seems that

lead actress Ginger Nut (who

plays Rose) is caught in a

love triangle with co-stars

John Stamos Jr (center) and

Rupert Grint (right). An in-

side source revealed to the

Exposer that Rupert is in

love with Ginger, Ginger is

in love with John Jr, and

John Jr is in love with

Rupert! While no-one is pre-

pared to admit what’s going

on behind closed doors, it is

making things complicated on

set. Apparently, cast-mate

Nigel Nomates is jealous that

he isn’t in a bizarre love

triangle, so is trying to

initiate a new one with

actors Ivana Tinkle and Mary

Poppins. Dusty Dreamer,

director of Midnight Blood,

has threatened to pull the

plug on the series if her

cast cannot sort out their

problems. “They’re acting

like children, and I’ve had

enough”, is what she said

according to our source.

PICTURES Of the week

Nooooo! My face is falling off!

Indecent Exposure

This week The Exposer delved into the Simatography

photo galleries to see how all of you have been

behaving. As usual, the community had plenty of

scandalous and distasteful activities caught on camera.

Minraed: “G’day, Mate!” SylentWhysper: “Live long and prosper”

Get yo’ blood breath outta my face!

PK: “Does this pose make me look pregnant?” Bzanna: “Yep”

Green with envy.

Be Careful….

I’m always watching...