the weekly exposer - issue 3 12 january 2012

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Exposing all your dirty little secrets!

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  • Issue No.3 - January 11, 2012

    THE WEEKLY

    EXPOSING YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS!

    EXPOSER!

    FAMOUS GIRL-BAND MY GIRLS HAVE BROKEN UP AFTER TWO YEARS OF

    SUCCESS. BAND MANAGER STEPHKLINE TOLD THE EXPOSER THAT AN

    ARGUMENT TURNED INTO A PUNCH-UP WHEN THE GIRLS COULDNT AGREE

    WHO HAD THE PRETTIEST HAIR. A PHYSICAL ALTERCATION BETWEEN THE

    FOUR OCCURRED LAST WEEK AT A POPULAR BRIDGEPORT CLUB. A VIRGIN

    RECORDS SPOKEPERSON CONFIRMED THAT THEIR MULTI-MILLION

    DOLLAR RECORDING CONTRACT HAD BEEN CANCELLED. STEPHKLINE IS NOW

    SEEKING EMPLOYMENT IN THE HOSPITALITY INDUSTRY.

    LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL WITH YO PANTS ON THE GROUND - CHECK OUT THE

    DECENT EXPOSURE PHOTO SPREAD

    GORDANA DATES 4000 YEAR GORDANA DATES 4000 YEAR

    OLD MAN WITH SUPEROLD MAN WITH SUPER--POWERS!POWERS!

    MIDNIGHT BLOOD MIDNIGHT BLOOD CHARACTERS IN CHARACTERS IN

    BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE! BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE!

    FIND OUT

    WHAT

    HAPPENS IN

    CHAZZS NEW SERIES

    BROOKLYN

    WHITFIELD!

    NEW SEGMENT:

    PICTURES OF

    THE WEEK!

    SYLENTWHYSPERS STEAMY SYLENTWHYSPERS STEAMY SYLENTWHYSPERS STEAMY

    GETGETGET---AWAY WITH ZAC EFRON!AWAY WITH ZAC EFRON!AWAY WITH ZAC EFRON!

    KAZEE: MY HAIR ISNT PINK BY CHOICE, BUT

    A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT GONE WRONG!

    ALL THINGS SIFF - KEEP UP

    TO DATE ON ALL THE

    LATEST CHALLENGES!

  • KAZEE:

    WHAT DID THEY DO TO ME?

    Kazee may look like a

    rebellious teenager with

    those pink highlights, but

    she claims its not by

    choice. Two years ago the

    star builder/designer/

    promoter was offered $5,000

    to be a part of a drug trial

    for Landgraab Pharmaceuti-

    cals. The test involved her

    being injected with an

    untested drug, eating ginger

    snaps and singing 2 become

    1 by the Spice Girls, all

    while standing on her head.

    Unfortunately, the trial was

    not successful, and some test

    subjects, including Kazee,

    received undesirable side

    effects. Kazee told The

    Exposer: I now have

    permanent pink highlights and

    the ability to sniff farts,

    and immediately identify who

    dealt it. Although Kazee now

    has to live with these

    conditions forever, shes

    made the most of it by

    cashing in on them. Sunset

    Valley Forensic Investigator

    Hank Goddard explains: in

    many crime scenes we find

    fart residue, but it was

    useless as it doesnt have a

    DNA profile. With Kazee on

    hand, one sniff is all it

    takes. Over the last year,

    weve made 87 arrests using

    Kazees fart-sniffing super-

    power.

    CHECK OUT KAZEE IN OUR DECENT

    EXPOSURE PHOTO THREAD ON P3!

    SYLENT AND ZACS STEAMY

    VACATION TURNS BAD

    SylentWhysper has taken a

    break from her busy schedule

    to frolic in the sand with

    teen sensation Zac Efron. The

    couple thought they were alone

    on the beach when Sylent

    wanted to rub lotion on Mr

    Efron. Unfortunately for

    Sylent, Zac insisted on apply-

    ing it himself. A resident

    peeping-tom supposedly heard

    Zac say to Ms Whysper: Stop

    touching my moobs!. With that

    said, Sylent got up and

    stormed off back to the hotel,

    where she feasted on Reeses

    Pieces and Tootsie Rolls. The

    pair were later seen in the

    hotel lobby having an

    argument, which abruptly put

    an end to their romance. Both

    parties declined to comment,

    though confirmed through their

    publicists that their brief

    union had ended. It is rumored

    that Ms Whysper had originally

    cast Zac in her upcoming, yet

    to be titled movie, however

    this may complicate their

    business relationship. Former

    celebrity and life coach

    Charlie Sheen gave us his

    opinion on the matter: This

    was clearly a match made in

    hell. The first rule in

    romance is to never date a

    co-worker.

    GORDANA GETS COZY ON THE RED

    CARPET WITH ANTON VASILE

    Gordana has been seen getting raunchy on the

    red carpet with Anton Vasile at a film

    premiere last week. The EoE actress was seen

    with the ancient mystical being last week at

    the Macedonian premiere of The Muppets. As

    the photos show, they have no qualms with

    public displays of affection. Witnesses at

    the event saw Mr Vasile rip the front part

    off Gordanas dress, leaving little to the

    imagination. As with most cases, Gordana

    declined to comment, apart from saying Mind

    your own damn business! Its also rumored

    that Gordana is involved in the upcoming

    SSProductions feature Phantom of the Opera.

  • DECENT EXPOSUREDECENT EXPOSUREDECENT EXPOSURE Simatographers this week were asked to take their pants off and have their photo

    taken for a worthy cause: Amusement. Check out the stars who werent too chicken

    to show you what theyre made of!

    JN

    Bo

    rdel

    insk

    i

    Minraed

    Cat

    Kett

    y21

    Midnight445 SSProductions

    AashleySEG & Bzanna

    Kaz

    ee

  • BUZZ!

    MAKE AN AD! SUBMIT IT! RIGHT NOW!

    SIFF POSTER DEADLINE THIS SUNDAYSIFF POSTER DEADLINE THIS SUNDAY

    SO FAR, THERE ARE 14 SIFF ENTRIES FROM NINE

    DIFFERENT COUNTRIES! DONT MISS YOUR

    OPPORTUNITY TO SHINE! ENTER NOW!

    Forum Thread

  • SIFF March 2012 Playbill (so far)

    FILMS

    Ronson_14 - Spain

    A Love That Lasts Forever .

    Oak Haven Productions - UK

    Cut From The Same Cloth .

    ChristieL - Italy

    G.03, The Final Act .

    Nanami- Mexico

    Mercy .

    FA Productions - Argentina

    NEON

    Soft Ball Girl - USA

    Book Traveller .

    Ilya Vasilevskiy - USA

    Silence .

    Bordelinski Films - USA

    The Island .

    MUSIC VIDEOS

    Demeter - USA

    I Will Always Love You .

    SHORTS

    MJSimKat - USA

    5 Facts About Me

    Steph Kline - Australia

    The Age of Picking

    SIFF STAFF SUBMISSIONS .

    AAshleySEG - USA

    SIFF Movie .

    JN Productions - New Zealand

    Ayla the Dryad .

    SS Productions Team - US/UK/Macedonia

    The Phantom of the Opera

    BROOKLYN WHITFIELD:

    WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

    TO HER FATHER

    Chazz(Ipodtouchgirl21) has

    released a new series titled

    Brooklyn Whitfield: Detec-

    tive. The story starts with a

    young woman named Brooklyn,

    whose parents were tragically

    killed in a car accident. The

    story seems suspicious from

    the get go, as the fathers

    body was never found.

    Dissatisfied with these chain

    of events, The Exposer broke

    into ITG Films to take a peek

    at the script. We were

    shocked with what we found.

    As it turns out, Brooklyn

    Whitfield is not a young

    woman, but a large chicken

    dressed as one. The disguise

    is so elaborate that not even

    the audience can tell. Its

    all revealed in the season

    finale, when Brooklyns

    father, a giant rooster,

    appears out of the blue,

    wanting to explain why he was

    missing all this time. Mr

    Whitfield (whose real name is

    Chicken Boo) had spent months

    in hiding, trying to find out

    why their car crashed, and

    who was responsible for the

    death of his beloved wife,

    Harriet the hen. According to

    Mr Boo, his wife was

    assassinated for revealing

    the Colonials secret recipe

    to KFCs rival fast food

    company, KFV (Kentucky Fried

    Vegan). Check this series out

    on channel ipodtouchgirl21.

    BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE

    AMONGST CO-STARS

    Dusty Dreamers cast are

    causing mayhem on the set of

    the new story-series,

    Midnight Blood. It seems that

    lead actress Ginger Nut (who

    plays Rose) is caught in a

    love triangle with co-stars

    John Stamos Jr (center) and

    Rupert Grint (right). An in-

    side source revealed to the

    Exposer that Rupert is in

    love with Ginger, Ginger is

    in love with John Jr, and

    John Jr is in love with

    Rupert! While no-one is pre-

    pared to admit whats going

    on behind closed doors, it is

    making things complicated on

    set. Apparently, cast-mate

    Nigel Nomates is jealous that

    he isnt in a bizarre love

    triangle, so is trying to

    initiate a new one with

    actors Ivana Tinkle and Mary

    Poppins. Dusty Dreamer,

    director of Midnight Blood,

    has threatened to pull the

    plug on the series if her

    cast cannot sort out their

    problems. Theyre acting

    like children, and Ive had

    enough, is what she said

    according to our source.

  • PICTURES Of the week

    Nooooo! My face is falling off!

    Indecent Exposure

    This week The Exposer delved into the Simatography

    photo galleries to see how all of you have been

    behaving. As usual, the community had plenty of

    scandalous and distasteful activities caught on camera.

    Minraed: Gday, Mate! SylentWhysper: Live long and prosper

    Get yo blood breath outta my face!

    PK: Does this pose make me look pregnant? Bzanna: Yep

    Green with envy.

    Be Careful.

    Im always watching...