the wheel speaks 2013 – respect when respect is due
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THE WHEEL SPEAKS 2013 – Respect When Respect Is DueTRANSCRIPT
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THE WHEEL SPEAKS 2013 – Respect When Respect Is Due Today I just wanted to reflect back, back on my personal upbringing in particularly when I was a high school student in Jersey City at Lincoln High School. I came up through the years 1974 through 1978 a transitional time in this country following the 1960’s where civil rights was the catalyst which initiated change throughout the country. A change in which many of my generation benefitted being we during the 70’s were suddenly allowed to do many of the things our parents and especially our grandparents couldn’t do. And with this independence many of the kids my age also were very guilty of being unappreciative of struggles that particularly African Americans had to endure in order to make the lives of generations to come like my generation comfortable. I wasn’t a role model student as a teenager I’ll be the first to admit that but the one thing I did appreciate during my high school years was the teachers who I’d come in contact with who possess a certain characteristic. And that characteristic of course retrospective I can describe it now but back then in was something I needed particularly at that point in my life. And that was discipline for some reason instead of being scared or shying away from the disciplinarians during my era I would seek them. I had some great women in my life who didn’t play and made it clear they were not my friend and loved me with all their hearts even though they absolutely never said it aloud.
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And in those days not many parents did but my mother and my grandmother were very stern and didn’t take any mess and as the person who held my entire family together my mothers mom Nancy Sue Rogers demanded and receive respect everywhere. But along with my brothers the three of us had gotten to the age where we’d no longer be around mom every day and would be spending majority of our awaken hours in high school. Being athletes and at the same time especially speaking for myself starting to as my mother would say “feel my oats” getting a little cocky it had gotten to the point where it was necessary for someone to put me in my place. And that person caught me exactly at the right time I can remember like it happen yesterday and it happen in 1974. I was walking in my high school corridor wearing my mustang hat which was not allowed in school and bopping a big time freshman or at least I thought and then out of the blue this man appeared and literally grabbed me physically by armpit and brought me into a neighboring office. I had no idea who he was then I begin to look on the walls of the office and begin noticing pictures of the football team all around the room then upon his desk I saw the name tag that read “Dean Harry Massey”. Harry Massey the legend himself Mr. Massey was the face of Lincoln High School himself having had attended and being a superstar athlete and becoming the coach of a widely respected program in the city having coach some players to division 1 prominence. But more so Mr. Massey was known as a disciplinarian who quite simply did not play. I’d already been aware that along with Mr. Massey in high school my uncles actually starred on the football team years ago with him and I knew the last thing I wanted to say was my last name. Being that he went to school with my father and all my uncles and why would that be a problem you ask? Easy to explain basically my father and his brothers all have the last name Thomas like mine but what would instantaneously ring a bell in Mr. Massey’s memory would be that like them my first name started with the letter B. And of course when Mr. Massey began questioning me I tried to be cool and immediately he dedicated that and verbatim here’s our conversation. Mr. Massey: The bell rang where are you going walking down the hall way not only late but wearing a hat on your head like your Super Fly or something? Oh, you think you’re cool right? Hmmmmm a cool freshman I got here sitting with me, what’s your name? Me: Basil Mr. Massey: Basil? What kind of name is that? Ok what’s your last name? Me: (reluctantly and under my breath I said) Thomas Mr. Massey: Thomas! Thomas! Thomas! Hmmmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmm. (Now I am confused and don’t have a clue what’s happening then Mr. Massey begins looking on a calendar in his office and we’re in the month of October…then he begins to speak again)
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Mr. Massey: Ok Mr. Thomas today date is October 2nd and I don’t want to see you until October 17th and bring your father not your mother, your father if you don’t bring him don’t come back understand? Me: I said that’s 2 weeks I am excluded for two weeks? Mr. Massey: (He then said) and you’re now trespassing if you don’t get out of my office I’ll have Mr. White (the resident police officer on school grounds) bring you to the precinct and book you. Of course I was in shock not only because I was scared to death at telling my mother but how was I going to tell my father? Honestly I just decided to tell my father right away because I’d rather have dealt with him then my mother back in the days. I gave him the entire story and told him the date being two weeks away and he told me to immediately get dressed. We proceeded to the school going directly to the Dean’s office (Mr. Massey) and right as we turned the corner down the corridor Mr. Massey and my father spotted each other and at the top of their respective lungs shouted each other’s names. Mr. Massey: Ben Thomas My Father: Harry Massey Me: (to myself of course I “said oh my god”) And as we sat in the office after the small talk about old times and families which of course which immediately led into a conversation about yours truly started very sarcastically by Mr. Massey. Mr. Massey: Basil – Basil – Basil…yeah I see Basil everyday walking down the hallways with his hats on bopping and hanging out with the seniors. Hmmmmm hmmmmm I see him only a few weeks in school and always cool wearing that hat like he’s doing right now. My Father: (My father immediately smacks the hat of my head and of course the smack wasn’t just on the hat it was the first and last time my father had ever hit me too then he said) Harry do me a favor let him back in school today because I am not trying to explain this to Georgia at all. Mr. Massey: Oh I know that (as they both laughed) My Father: And if he does anything out of line I am giving you permission to do absolutely anything you want right in public in front of the entire school, you can beat his ass. Mr. Massey: I got him Ben don’t worry. That was classic old disciplining and there were many of kids my age who benefited from the same exact treatment we weren’t pacified and especially knew better than to even try those who were the stern disciplinarians of there time. It’s real different now and every damn bodies crying about what’s immoral or what’s politically not correct in the way kids are treated. But here’s the problem that we’ve created in the decades that has past since these days we’ve literally entrusted kids to do a job that many of the parents themselves have not a clue of.
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And that’s to basically discipline them selves a job that as mention some parents not only aren’t equipped or experience enough to consume but some quite honestly couldn’t care their to damn busy trying to do themselves quite sadly. But the last thing I am trying to do is point a finger of any kind I am just strictly trying to make a point. And the point is right about now it’s totally gone run a muck. And in my opinion it just seems that maybe the kids aren’t really being dealt with as if they’re kids and the responsibility of rounding or totally developing a child was once more of a concentrated effort. I can remember having men in my life who dealt with me as if I was truthfully their own son there weren’t excuses or explanations for or about anything it just had to be done. I had a physical education teachers Coach Franklin Walker who when he gave his test instead of collectively doing the personalized exercises as a unit he’d walk to each individual one at a time. You’d be tested doing windmills jumping jacks sit-‐ups and of course the dreaded pushups no excuses no if ands or butts it had to be done so you prepared and got yourself physically together rand ready. I have a question though how many of these kids could even drop and give you 25 push ups today? You had to do at least 25 push ups just to pass Coach Walker’s class and I am talking real push ups too and it’s not a wonder why most all the men I at least went to high school with even today could stop and drop and give you 25, but keep some oxygen close lol. But the best thing about people like Coach Walker or especially my old high school basketball coach whom I know I drive folks crazy about since I talk about him every chance I get Coach Charlie Brown is this. Even today as grown men myself and each and every one of my friends who are fortunate enough to come into contact with these great individuals which should included one of my idols my health education teacher Mr. John L. Hunter still address these men as either Mr. or Coach. There is a protocol that’s been establish and is ritual like where I come from and the bottom line is you give respect when respect is due. Majority of especially the people that were in my life who told me the right thing today usually were the people who didn’t want to be my friend and expected one thing. That was completion and to get the job done whether I wanted to do it or not because as an adult you would soon find that you’ll be confronted with people and situations where your character would be sustaining factor not only in what allows you to be productive but it will make you the person these people envision you to eventually become. Let’s be candid straight and forward not everyone in your life wants to become anything and will do anything necessary to debilitate you and possibly the potential you have if you display promise. Jealousy and envy can be disguised at all times it’s safe not to assume that these doesn’t exclude even family members. Sometimes family members have a way subconsciously even without them even being aware of being guilty of suppressing even the productivity of those they love out of fear. The fear of losing what they love or because of their deficiencies or inability to be a bridge of nurturing they’ll break or burn anything down that can potentially even grow prosperously.
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My beloved uncle David Lee Rogers always would preach to me not about what was right and what was wrong he’d preach to me about location basically being in the “wrong place at the right time” and the people you choose to be around. I always took his advice to heart and kept I felt myself to be in the company of friends who I trust my entire time while I was growing especially as a young man. Coming up everyone who knows me would remember I was particularly close to basketball legend and star of my team Tommie Best a great all around guy as well very trustworthy and still a great friend. We’d often travel the city together to of course play basketball never getting into mischief at all just to respectable young men balling. One night when coming from playing ball we saw a group of our friends loitering in front of a local community center unbeknownst to the both of us the police had just requested the guys moved. They circled the block and of course when they saw the kids hadn’t moved had gotten upset and I think they have notice me and Tommie to be out of place being we had on basketball uniforms and requested we both came to the car. As we approach the vehicle Tommie turned around and told the guys “we’ll be back in 5 minutes” and of course remember being it was about 1978 we were dealing with some who still had a racist mindset one of the cops got pissed off. Saying “oh you’ll be back in 5 minutes we’ll see about that” then made an announcement they were taking us to juvenile booking downtown. As I sat in the back with Tommie I got immediately nervous he said “take it easy they’ll let us go right away” I had to remind Tommie I’d just turn 18 years old a month earlier. And of course after they found that out the took me to the precinct up the block where I was taken and luckily release on my own recognizant but with a desk appearance for court. Once again scared to tell my mother I told my father after agonizing about going to court with the desk appearance I’d receive for loitering by the racist police officer basically I was in the “wrong place at the right time” something my uncle talked about often as mention. When I went to court as I sat in the courtroom with my father I was literally in shock when the judge who presided was a woman and then almost instantly my name was called by the bailiff in the court and the arresting officer was called as well. Soon as I rose to my feet the judge notice how young I was and ask me if my parent was with me my father stood and once again it turned out he was friends with the Judge the Honorable Shirley Tolentino they exchanged some brief pleasantries being court was in session. Then she directed her attention and venom on the arresting officer she reprimanded for his actions after hearing my testimony. And as I sat down feeling a bit full of myself because the judge had taken my side of the story she immediately looked at me and said “Basil Thomas if I ever see you in my court room again for any reason it makes no difference what it is I will lock you up no if’s butts or maybes with out a question, is that understood”. My comply was immediate and that situation not only change my life but confirmed everything my mother and what other adults who cared about me always said about accountability and my personal actions or lack of it.
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My grandfather was my favorite person in the whole world and that was because everything just seemed so honest about him. His was very candid and spoke to us even as children as if we were people not little boys (me and my brothers). He spoke quite often about respect and what it required in order to get respect and giving it was priority in order it to be replicated. I’ve been fortunate enough to have had the same conversations now with my grandson walking the same streets last summer having them. And never in my wildest dreams could I ever envision or foresee this becoming a reality having been able to live through times where not everyone may have wanted to see me make it through but I had help. With that being said and not trying to make this into an extended article today I’d just like to thank those instrumental in my life and when I say instrumental I am talking about the ones who wouldn’t allow me to be caught sleeping. And if I was prepared they made sure I was whether reluctantly on my behalf or not I had no choice. And today I feel as if there’s so many that need to be reminded that the most effective way to raise a child as well productive is to remember this and don’t forget. Your child is not your friend because the last thing friends want sometimes is the truth and your child should be exposed to nothing but the truth. Respect when respect is due in other words not each and everyone that your child will be confronted by deserves respect or especially acknowledgement and that’s when as a parent you’re existence has more to do with what happens under your roof. Because in the real world some have a difficult time in believing that just as many of us did things our parents may not have had a clue about guess what your kids are more than likely doing the same thing. And if you’ve never instilled in them how to rationally make decisive choices guess who’ll be coming to rescue sooner or later and unfortunately in these times you might not want to leave that to chance anymore. Respect when respect is due and the best thing you can teach any child today is to respect them selves because it seems as if many haven’t even been taught to do that. Because at the end of the day sadly one day there life might depend on it and everyone that I am associated with has someone somewhere in their personal life whether in the past or recent who wasn’t taught enough just to have self respect. Indecision at a decisive time can lead to someone else deciding everything each and everyday of your life whether it’s a mortician corrections officer police officer or judge basically teach them now or they’ll be instructed later on the states dollar or 6 feet under the states land. Respect when respect is due basically respecting the life they’re expected to hopefully live…… respect when respect is due recognizing that today in anticipation of tomorrow. Respectfully, THE WHEEL SPEAKS ON 2013 (The way Humanity/Hudson Expects Everyone to Live)
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