the wise sloth institute

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This is an application for a MacArthur Fellowship. If you know someone who works for the MacArthur Fellowship, please pass this along to them. Thank you.

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Page 1: The Wise Sloth Institute

Version 1

Welcome to the Wise Sloth Institute. It's a virtual model of a monastery that I'd build if I got a MacArthur

Fellowship.

You can tour the virtual monastery by scrolling down. If you get lost, try clicking the "MAP" button.

I suggest starting your tour at either The Administration Office or Classroom #1.

MAP

Page 2: The Wise Sloth Institute

1. Arts Department

2. Engineering Department

3. Film Lab

4. Graphic Design Department

5. Vacant Room

6. Marketing Department

7. Writer's Room

8. IT Department

9. Vacant Room

10. Vacant Room

11. Class Room #1

12. Empty Department

13. Conference Room

14. Administrative Office

15. Lounge

16. Kitchen

17. Cafeteria

18. Bed Room #1

19. Bed Room #2

20. Bed Room #3

21. Bed Room #4

22. Bed Room #5

23. Bed Room #6

24. Your Room

25. Hallway

26. Mystery Room

27. Expansion Area

28. Utility Space

29. Bathrooms

30. Courtyard

MAP

Page 3: The Wise Sloth Institute

Administration Office

Give me a MacArthur Fellowship so I can build a real intellectual monastery. Until then, all you get is a virtual

one. Though, I’ll be improving this place as I find the time. While I’m doing that, feel free to wander the

grounds, and why not enjoy a complimentary copy of the popular E-book, The Wise Sloth?

Speaking of which, if you didn't just come from there, you should check out my blog: The Wise Sloth

If you leave a message I might get back to you.

MAP

Page 4: The Wise Sloth Institute

Class Room #1

You'll find the curriculum on your desktop in front of you. And by "curriculum" I mean a bunch of notes some

guy took while trying to teach himself how to write stories efficiently. And by "efficiently" I mean lazily.

Feel free to practice by expounding on and finishing the practice stories below. They're all creative common

license.

The Wise Sloth formula plot template

Formula Plot Storyboard

Notes on writing formulaic sitcoms

8 simple formula plot templates

A parable about how to tell a story

How to write a story

TL;DR Story Time: Sweet As, Bro

TL;DR Story Time: The Paris, TX PTA

TL;DR Story Time: The Ents

TL;DR Story Time: One Night in December

TL;DR Story Time: The People’s Pyramid

TL:DR Story Time: The Prisoner’s Tale

The 36 Adventures of Captain Buigardo

MAP

Page 6: The Wise Sloth Institute

Cafeteria

This place always empties out when class isn't in session. It's a good time to catch up on your reading though.

The Alphabits analogy (why it's dumb to be stupid)

They're giving way free superpowers at the library

7 steps to becoming a genius

How to become an expert at anything

Reading for truth

How to argue scientifically

The science of thought

10 reasons you're surrounded by idiots

10 ways people get dumber as they get older

Signs you're mature...but not necessarily old

Signs you're old...but not necessarily mature

Media for smart people

The war debt

MAP

Page 7: The Wise Sloth Institute

Conference Room

This is the conference room. We have it because everyone loves conferences.

Today's topic is life.

MAP

Page 9: The Wise Sloth Institute

Lounge

If you're just going to be lounging around, here’s some headline news you can read.

State of the Union: Volume 1

MAP

Page 10: The Wise Sloth Institute

Water Closet

I left some light reading material for you if you're going to be in here for a while.

Highway to the Thunderdome!

An Agnostic Perspective on the Meaning of Life

MAP

Page 11: The Wise Sloth Institute

Vacant Room

Chicken: We need to talk about this pants situation.

Monk: I'm just going to go shut the door...from the outside.

MAP

Page 12: The Wise Sloth Institute

Utility Room

I was just looking for my flanges. Ah, look...I've found one of the children's stories my mother used to read to

me as a child at bedtime.

MAP

Page 14: The Wise Sloth Institute

Writer’s Workshop

This is the heart of the monastery. This is where we channel our collective experiences into stories that pierce

the core of the human experience. If any of it seems un-Disney that's just because we call it like it is around

here.

Why: An Agnostic Perspective on the Meaning of Life

The Wise Sloth

State of the Union Volume 1

State of the Union Volume 2

An Old Man From Jersey Explains Life

MAP

Occupy LOL Street: Volume 1

Occupy LOL Street: Volume 2

Monk and Punk: Book 1 of 3

Monk and Punk: Book 2 of 3

Page 16: The Wise Sloth Institute

Engineering Department

This is the engineering department. If I ever get a MacArthur Fellowship to build this monastery I'd make all

my designs public domain and run workshops that teach sustainable building techniques. If the monastery ever

got big enough we'd send crews to refugee camps to build sustainable monasteries where they can live and

work...sort of like in "Occupy LoL Street: A Brave New Village. Within ten years of opening the monastery I'd

like to be building floating islands...sort of like in "Occupy LoL Street: The Freedom Flotilla."

Unsafe Trailer House Boat Design

Corporate Style Monastery Design

Resort Style Monastery Design

I'll give you my Google Sketchup files for these monasteries if you ask.

MAP

Page 17: The Wise Sloth Institute

Film Department

The show must go on...even if the script isn't finished yet!

Read "The Unfinished" on Google Docs

Read "The Unfinished on Scribd

MAP

Page 19: The Wise Sloth Institute

Marketing Department

This is the marketing department. Nobody is here, but someone wrote something on that chalk board. It says,

“Stop treating people like shit, and they’ll start giving a fuck.” Hmmm. I wonder if that’s supposed to be our

motto.

MAP

Page 20: The Wise Sloth Institute

I.T. Department

Formula plot template Iphone apps don't write themselves. Come to think of it, nobody writes them. Bummer.

There's probably good money in that. I’m just saying…there’s room in a monastery for a small business

incubator.

MAP

Page 21: The Wise Sloth Institute

Bedroom #1

This is bedroom #1. It's basically an efficiency apartment. It's not for everybody, but at least you don't have to

pay rent. I remember what it was like to pay rent.

MAP