A Guide to A lternative We dding s

October 2012

Issue 1

The Budget 3

21

11

5

35

13

9

9

15

The Decor

Interview with wedding planner Emily McCollins

Ask Holly

Budget Tips

The Favors

DIY Dos and Don’ts

15 Unique Reception Ideas

The Ceremony

39

45

37

53

55

57

The Dress

After the Aisle

Find a Dress for Your Style

Color is in

Love Story

The Honeymoon

The BudgetQuick tips for keeping your budget in check

The BudgetQuick tips for keeping your budget in check

The Wedding PlannerHear what a real wedding planner has to say!

Me: So Emily, tell me, how did you get into

the wedding planning business

Emily: Event planning seems to be part of

my genetic makeup. As a child I dreamed

of joining the foreign service, living at the

Biltmore House and planning parties for all

of my friends and random strangers. I now

speak French, plan weddings and occasional-

ly get to work at the Biltmore House. Does it

get any better?

Me: I’d say that’s pretty great! I’d love to

hear what makes a wedding by Occasions by

Emily unique and special? I’ve experienced it

first hand, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Emily: Details, details, details. We are very

organized about the details, big and small,

which takes stress off our clients. However,

we’re also “touchy feely” when it comes to

the details. We like to help our clients think

of ways to make everything unique to their

personality and vision.

Me: What has been your favorite wedding

or moment that stands out to you and

why? I love hearing stories about different

weddings!

Emily: I planned a wedding this summer

that was mainly family and a few close

friends. It was a second marriage for both

the bride and groom and they each had a set

of children. The bride had asked her young

teenage son to sing “It’s a Wonderful World”

during the ceremony, but he got nervous and

a little choked up when he began singing.

He made a desperate plea to the audience to

sing along. The minister began to sing out

whole heartedly, the audience joined in and

the violinist picked up the accompaniment

without being asked. I had tears in my eyes

watching such a sweet family, friends and

relative strangers join together to create a

happy moment that the bride and groom

will remember forever. It’s fun to have

yummy cake, gorgeous flowers and a great

band, but the really important thing is the

covenant being made by the people who

share the moment.

Me: Now I’m a little teary eyed, what a

touching story! I will certainly never forget

that one. Let’s change topics slightly, I’d like

my readers to get to know a little about you.

What do you like to do when you are not

planning weddings?

Emily: Read, read, read. It’s one of the few

things I can do to make me stop thinking

about weddings for half a minute. Can’t help

it. I also love being with my three kiddos,

but I seem unable to divide work and family

life. Case in point: My four and six year old

daughters were recently worried about an

upcoming family wedding where there is no

assigned seating as it is a dessert reception.

The six year old wanted to know how peo-

ple would know where to sit without place

cards. I may have ruined my children....

Me: That is hilarious. I see a future planner

I recently had the opportunity to speak with a wedding planner to hear the ins and outs of the business. About a week ago I

sat down with Emily McCollin a real live wedding planner from Asheville, North Carolina to see what she has to say about

making wedding plans. Her answers have the kind of insight that could only come from years of experience planning events.

Written By Hilary Thomson

in your family! Now for the 20 questions

part, Favorite part of the job? Most reward-

ing? Most terrifying?

Emily: I love helping clients define their

vision and then orchestrating it for them.

This can happen through the invitations,

floral arrangements, lighting and even things

like glassware. It’s fun to look through the

photographer’s photos a few weeks later and

think about how we helped the bride and

groom take a vision from concept to reality.

I am most terrified when trying to send a

processional down the aisle. There are all

these people whom I’ve never met before

in my life who need to be seated by ushers

I’ve only just met at rehearsal. The order of

the processional is so important that I can’t

bear to mess it up, and of course the rest of

the guests are watching the whole thing. It’s

very nerve wracking and there’s no do-over

button! Thankfully the nerves keep me on

my game and I can’t remember ever messing

this up too badly.

Me: Okay, how about some advice for any-

one who may be interested in event planning

as a future career?

Emily: Go to college and get a degree in

something, anything. Assist with the events

for whatever social groups you join or jobs

you hold. The more you do, the better pre-

pared you’ll be for the future. If you’re ready

to pursue a career in events, start by getting

“I had tears in my eyes watching such a sweet family, friends and

relative strangers join together to create a happy moment that the

bride and groom will remember forever”

a job in food service, particularly special

event catering. It’s a perfect place to learn

about customer service, timing and the ins

and outs of making a great event happen.

Me: Great advice! What about advice for

brides who are just starting the planning

process? Any particular words of wisdom

for where they should focus their time and

money?

Emily: Make a list of priorities with your

fiance. This will help you know how to set

your budget. Seek out a planner early to help

you have a realistic expectation for costs. A

planner will also help you know all of the

categories you need to consider.

Me: Any interesting trends in the industry

that you love or conversely would love to see

brides leave behind?

Emily: Yikes. Here are the true confessions!

I’m not a fan of the garter toss, mainly

because it seems to embarrass people and

my goal as a planner is to help people feel

as comfortable as possible at the wedding.

I suppose the groom needs something to

balance out the bouquet toss. Hmmmm... I

need to think of a new tradition to suggest

here. Maybe a shoe toss?

Me: Another non-fan of the garter toss here.

On the other hand, a shoe toss could be a

little dangerous. I’m sure you’ll come up

with something! Okay, one last, but very

important question before we call it a day.

Many brides consider going on their own

when it comes to planning their wedding.

What value does a wedding planner bring

that the bride may not be thinking of when

she is making this decision?

Emily: I’m so glad you asked this. Brides

normally want to go it on their own for two

reasons: 1. They think they have enough

time and skill that they don’t need help. 2.

They think they don’t have enough money

to get help. In response to the first reason, I

think no matter how much time or skill in

design/event planning a bride may have, if

she’s never planned a wedding, then she is in

for a stressful surprise. Weddings are a really

big deal and like no other event known to

mankind. For this bride, it’s best to consider

the planner a partner. The planner will sup-

port the bride through the planning process,

allowing the bride to do as little or as much

as she pleases. Then the planner will be there

on the big day to make sure the plans are

carried out while the bride just enjoys. For

the bride with a small budget, a planner can

save money--really. I tell the truth. A planner

knows where to “shop” for vendors in all

different price ranges, and can suggest ways

to cut budget to make way for items that are

more important to the bride and groom.

Me: You know, I couldn’t agree more with

what you’ve said. As a (self confessed)

‘minor’ control freak, while hard to let go,

it was a huge relief for me to have someone

else running the show so I could just totally

be in the moment, enjoying my new husband

and spending my time with family.

I lied, I do have one more question. How

should interested brides get in touch with

you for more information?

Emily: Just give me a call at 828.808.8888

or email emily@occasionsbyemily.com. I

love to talk about weddings and get excited

about each new client because every bride

is unique and has fun, new ideas. Oh, and

I’m a HUGE facebooker. Please join the

fan page “Occasions by Emily”. I post new

ideas, photos and more almost every day,

sometimes several times a day!

Me: This has been so fun getting to know

a little more about you and the business! I

really appreciate you taking the time to sit

down and talk with us. It truly has been a

pleasure. i

“Weddings are a really big deal and like no other event

known to mankind.”

Rest assured that a bulging-at-the-seams guest list is a common wedding planning occurrence, and can be remedied somewhat painlessly.

You are probably feeling so excited about sharing this joyous occasion with everyone you know that you just can’t bear to leave anyone off

the list. But, truth be told, most of us can’t afford to invite everyone we know to our weddings, so start trimming! First, go over your list

with your fiance and put each guest into category A or B. The As are the absolute must-invites, and likely include your family and closest

friends. The B list is for all of those remaining. Now weed out your B list by asking yourself some questions: How close are you with this

person? When was the last time you saw or spoke to this person? Would having him or her there on your wedding day really make or break

your enjoyment? Based on your answers, you should be able to significantly reduce your overall list.

Other ways to consider cutting back: Leave off old high school or college friends whom you’re pretty sure you’ll never see again; second

and third cousins whose names you can barely remember; and your parents’ extras (unless, of course, your parents are footing the bill).

Make your wedding adults-only (skip anyone under 18); invite single people sans guests (and seat them together so they’ll mix and mingle);

and don’t feel obligated to invite coworkers or business associates. Lastly, don’t feel pressured to invite people just because you were invited

to their weddings. You may still feel bad about cutting people, but the reality is, it’s one of the surest ways to save lots of money and have

the wedding of your dreams.

I have a wedding budget that allows for about 150 guests, but my fiance and I have so many friends that our current list

already exceeds 250! I keep looking at it and just can’t cut any names without feeling terrible. How can we trim our wed-

ding guest list without the guilt?

Brought to you by Holly Rosnik our official wedding expert.

Questions sent in by the readers answered by our wedding expert

How do you decide who pays for what? We’ve laid out the options so you can decide whats best for you.

Written By Patricia Samuels

Question

Answer

These days, the cost of a wed-

ding makes a year at Harvard

and Yale look affordable. How

are you going to scrape together

the bucks so you can have the

bash you want? Put that idea

about sticking up the Federal

Reserve on hold. You have

options -- legal, time-honored,

respectable options. The kind of

options that (unless you’re in the

habit of bouncing checks) won’t

land you behind bars. Here’s a

rundown of some of them, plus

their pros and cons. Keep in

mind that a combination of two

or more may be how you end up

getting your wedding paid for.

The Bride’s Parents Pay

The traditional -- and still pretty

popular -- way of paying for the

wedding.

i

Budget Tips

Ask Holly

i

The Pros:

You don’t have to dip into your

nest egg to pay for the wedding,

which means you’ll probably

be driving a better car, buying a

better house and taking better

vacations a year from now than

your contemporaries who are

paying -- in full or partially --

for their own wedding.

The Cons:

“The person who pays ultimate-

ly gets what he or she wants,”

says JoAnn Gregoli, a wedding

consultant and owner of Elegant

Occasions in Denville, New

Jersey. Which means that if

you want 100 guests but your

parents want 250, you’ll prob-

ably end up with at least 175

to 200 people at your wedding.

“Having your parents pay for

the wedding doesn’t hurt your

wallet,” notes Gregoli, “but you

have to be willing to compro-

mise on what the wedding will

be like.” Another downside:

Having your parents pay for the

wedding -- especially if they’re

retired, on a fixed income, or

just not that well off to begin

with -- could strap them down

with some major debt.

Everyone Pays

A contemporary and, according

to Gregoli, effective way of

taking care of wedding expenses

is for the two of you, the bride’s

family, and the groom’s family

to split the expenses. It works

best, she says, if you simply take

the whole cost of the wedding

and divide it three ways, rather

than dole out specific things

to pay for: “For example, if

you let your parents pay for

the dinner, then they may be

inclined to invite more guests.

It can get sticky.” If you can’t

divide it equally -- say one party

is more or less wealthy than

the other two -- ask that party

what’s comfortable for them to

give, and throw it into the pot.

“But just because his family, for

example, is giving four times as

much money as yours doesn’t

mean they get four times more

say,” says Gregoli. “You’re

handling this as a group, and

one person can’t push his or

her weight around.” The key to

making this work, she cautions,

is negotiation and compromise.

The Pros:

By pooling your resources, you

may be able to afford the kind

of wedding you want. You also

may not have to empty your

savings account to get it. What’s

more, since everyone is contrib-

uting -- which means everyone

gets a say -- you’re not likely to

make one side or the other feel

left out.

The Cons:

By accepting money from other

people, you do give up some

control. But there are always

solutions, notes Gregoli. “If you

want a DJ but the parents want

a band, look for a band that

also works with a DJ, who can

play during the band’s break. Or

if you want a buffet recep-

tion and your parents want a

seated dinner, perhaps have food

stations, but arrange for waiters

to serve your parents and their

friends at assigned tables.”

You Two Pay for Everything

More the norm than you might

think. As more and more

brides and grooms marry later

-- stockpiling those Christmas

bonuses, merit raises, and divi-

dend checks -- more and more

couples are in a good position

to foot the entire wedding bill

themselves.

The Pros:

Money talks, and as such, you

will have total control over all

aspects of the wedding. If you

want to get married in a bikini

on the beach and dance to a

reggae band at the reception,

you do it. Your mom may think

it’s an outrage, but in the end,

she-who-does-not-open-her-wal-

let can’t dictate to you.

The Cons:

You might deplete your savings

(and rack up some debt if you

take out a loan or charge on

your credit card). You also run

the risk of offending your par-

ents if you refuse their financial

help. To remedy the situation?

You might accept a nominal

sum from them, or let them

pay for something you don’t

have strong opinions about

-- say, the flowers. In any event,

don’t shut your parents out of

the wedding-planning process.

Encourage their input -- hey,

they may even have a good idea

or two -- compromise where

you can, and stick to your guns

on the things that are really

important.

“If anything creates problems in

planning a wedding, it’s money,”

says Gregoli. “To sidestep

problems, you need to do a lot

of communicating -- with your

partner and both families. If you

don’t, there will be trouble.”

Truer words have never been

spoken.

Th e D e c o rCreate a cohesive style from the invitations to

the reception.

Th e D e c o rCreate a cohesive style from the invitations to

the reception.

Pick practical giftsTo ensure your favors serve their purpose, choose a gift that is one of

two things: edible or practical. Edible favors are a fail-proof option

that guests can enjoy on their way home. Some of our favorites in-

clude cake pops, mini pies and personalized candy bars. Among those

in the something-useful category are stemless wineglasses, martini

shakers or even luggage tags.

Make them meaningfulChoose favors that express your personalities, or share something

you love with your guests. Are you both into wine? Mini wine

bottles with personalized labels will go over big. Spend almost every

weekend hitting the links? Give out golf balls or tees customized with

your initials. Share a piece of your unique heritage by giving out tins

of Asian cookies or pastries, or authentic olive oil from the region of

Italy where your ancestors were born, for example.

Order (or make) extraWhether you choose to give one favor per guest or per couple, always

have backup ready (figure about 10 extra favors for every hundred

guests) in case some get lost or broken. Plus, some guests will take

extras, and you may want to hold on to a few favors for keepsakes.

Do before you DIYWhile DIY favors might seem like an easy way to save money, keep

in mind that assembling and wrapping 200 favors is probably more

time-consuming than you think. And if you’re attempting to make

a more complicated favor, all your efforts may go down the drain

when the finished product falls short of your expectations. To avoid

wasting your time (and money), try making a few samples to gauge

whether you’re up for the project before you commit.

Try before you buyIf you’re ordering favors online, purchase a single sample before you

add 200 to your cart and click “buy now.” You want to make sure

the truffles taste good or the pashminas are the actual color they

appear to be on your computer screen before you end up with a

hundred of them. Some vendors will supply samples for free, so it’s

The FavorsThe wedding favor is not the most important part of your wedding but it is how your guests will remember your wedding.

There are lots of decisions that go into choosing a wedding favor read below to learn how to decide what will work for

wedding favors and what doesn’t, no matter what you get your guests are sure to be pleased. Written By Charlotte Gray

i

worth asking. And if you’re purchasing personalized favor tags or

packaging, ask to see a proof to make sure everything is spelled right

and the wedding date is correct.

Add a liner to edible favorsEdible favors require special packaging. Paper bags or boxes can

quickly absorb the grease of cookies or custom popcorn (leaving you

with an unsightly favor box). Make sure you line the container with

wax paper before adding any edible goodies to keep grease from

leaking through and ruining the pretty packaging you chose.

Put your personal stamp on each oneAdding a personalized touch will make your favors exponentially

more special. If you’re a whiz at Photoshop, put those skills to work

and design your own custom label or tag bearing your wedding

date, your monogram or motif, a meaningful quote and/or a note

thanking your guests. You could also use a custom rubber stamp to

add your monogram and date. Though it’s time-consuming, consider

handwriting a thank-you note inside the tags -- it’s an inexpensive

labor of love your guests will appreciate. Or have each favor tag

hand-calligraphed with a special thank-you note. You can also buy

personalized favor tags that have your monogram, names and/or

wedding date on them at online event and bridal retailers.

Plan out your favor displaySmaller favors that are wrapped in pretty packaging can add to the

table decor -- arrange them on guests’ place settings or prop them

on their seats. If you plan to arrange favors at each place setting, do

a dress rehearsal. Ask for samples of your linens, plates and glasses,

plus any other items like menus and place cards, to make sure that

everything works together and won’t crowd your tables. If your

favors are attractive and big enough, you may decide to make them a

centerpiece of the room. For example, assemble cupcakes or slices of

groom’s cake in store-bought boxes and arrange them in the shape of

a layer cake. Tuck fresh flowers between the boxes to decorate.

Don’t forget signageIf you’re leaving the favors out rather than delegating someone to

distribute them, make sure guests know that they’re theirs for the

taking by attaching favor tags to each one, or by placing a legible

framed sign nearby that reads, “Please take one,” “Be our guest” or

simply “Thank you.”

Whether you want to save money or include personalized touches, do-it-yourself details can make a big impact. But some

projects are tougher than others, and what you thought would be a 1-2-3 could turn into an undertaking worthy of a

world-class planner. To avoid DIY overload, choose wisely. Here are our picks for what to do and what to leave to the pros.

Written By Lisa Wheel

4 DIY DosYour Makeup: If you do your own makeup, you’ll be in the privacy of your home or hotel room -- and you won’t have to book an appoint-

ment (or worry about being on time)! Grab a few basics: foundation, powder, eye shadow, blush, and lipstick. Put on enough to accentuate

your best features. Worried about looking washed out in your photos? Do a trial run and have a friend take a few pictures.

Your Ceremony Decor: The ceremony lasts less than an hour, so it seems like a waste to pay big bucks for specialty arrangements, especially

if the site is pretty on its own. Create hanging baskets or vases filled with locally grown flowers. Doing so is both eco-friendly and cost-effi-

cient. Or, instead of flowers, buy candles and place them throughout the space. Use any extras you may have to brighten your newlywed nest.

Your Favors: A quick way to save money on wedding favors is to add a personal touch. Sweet treats are a safe choice. Grab a box of your

favorite mix and start baking. Pack them in colorful boxes or cute bags. For nonedibles, wrap up tree saplings or donate to charity. Be sure to

give guests handwritten cards that say you’ve given in their name.

Your Invitations, Programs, and Save-the-Dates: Specialty papers, postage, and card sizes can cost hundreds, and you still might not be

able to find exactly what you want. Head to a local paper store for a DIY kit or choose stock paper in any color and print stylish invites right

off of your computer. Avoid the mistake of getting too fancy and using oversized envelopes -- they cost extra to mail.

DIY Dos and Don’ts

DO: make your own invitations

6 DIY Don’tsYour Cake: Whether it’s a missed teaspoon of sugar or a tilted tier,

a wedding cake disaster is hard to fix. Yes, it would be much less

expensive to buy a few boxes of cake mix and do it yourself, but

the quality in the end could be lacking. Decorating and transporting

a wedding cake is quite difficult and best left to someone with the

knowledge of how to handle your confection without damaging it.

Your Photos: Your photographs are one of the few tangible things

you’ll have to remember your wedding. All of your loved ones may

promise to capture every moment, but what happens if they get

distracted or have a camera malfunction? If it’s important for you

to have high-quality images and hundreds of great shots, hire a pro.

You’ll be glad you did when you see your picture-perfect album.

Coordinating it Yourself: You’ve organized every minute detail

so far, so why shouldn’t you be in charge on the wedding day?

Because you won’t be able to relax. Hiring a coordinator for the day

can be a lifesaver. While you’re getting pampered, they’ll be setting

up and averting any crisis that may occur. When everything isn’t

going perfectly, you’ll be none the wiser. Trust us -- peace of mind is

worth the extra expense.

Your Centerpieces: A beautiful centerpiece sets the mood of the

reception. From sophisticated to fun, you can create a setup that will

wow your guests -- with a florist’s help, of course! Flowers can cost

upward of $3,000, depending on your taste and the season. Although

it’s a larger part of the budget, it’s worth every penny. Your wedding

florist will ensure that you get exquisite displays filled with the

freshest blooms.

Your Catering: Catering a large-scale party is a huge undertaking,

even for a culinary whiz. You’ll be hard-pressed to get enough food

together for a hundred people and keep it hot -- even if you make the

best dish in town. And, once you get it made, you’ll need a reliable

staff to serve it. Caterers are trained to make it happen; they have the

support staff to serve you and your guests in a timely manner.

Your Music: It’s tempting to rock out to your favorite tunes, and

you might think it’s easy to do so with an iPod. Not quite. You’ll be

limited to the music that you love as a couple, not necessarily what

everyone else will like, and you’ll be stuck with the playlist. Music

pros are trained to read the dance floor. They can speed it up or slow

it down so that your guests are footloose into the wee hours.i

DOn’t: make your

Dress

Looking to have a wedding like none other -- at least like none other you’ve ever attended? Don’t be afraid to try something new and

something that’s intrinsically you. The first step is to define who you are as a couple. Investigate your likes and dislikes. Ask yourselves:

What do we enjoy doing in our spare time? Which is our favorite season? Favorite artists, movies, and music? Favorite era? Once

you’ve unveiled your personal style, you’re ready to take the second step and start developing a wedding-day theme.

Your theme doesn’t have to be something so complex as a Hawaiian luau, replete with a roast pig, leis, and grass skirts, but it should pinpoint

an element that can be used as a thread throughout your wedding day -- a color, a flower, or even a vintage brooch. You may be inspired by

pink roses, a pearl-studded purse, or snowflakes (because the two of you met on the ski slopes). Or you may love sunsets so much that you

host your ceremony at sundown, have wedding programs designed in shades of the sunset (from burnt orange to pale pink) and choose am-

ber-color pin-lighting in your reception venue. Need more ideas? Here are 15 ways to craft a one-of-a-kind celebration.

Written By Olivia Johnson

Locating the right spot to host your fun, formal affair is your greatest

challenge. Having the wedding in a hotel ballroom will lend a very differ-

ent tone than having it in an old weathered barn on your grandfather’s

farm. Locate a distinctive venue -- scout out old nightclubs, movie the-

aters, city roof gardens, hip restaurants, art galleries, or historic mansions.

Get reception ideas in your area! Or transform the space you choose into

something different by setting up screens to create different environments

for dinner and dancing. You can even change the mood from one area to

the next with the lighting: one room might feature white and ivory paper

lanterns hanging from the ceiling while the next may be outfitted with

deep red beaded lampshades on every table.

1. Find the right wedding venue.

Finding a common chord to play through all the elements of your

wedding -- from your paper products to your party -- will help you

put on a production that’s truly unforgettable. Try a masquerade

ball! Infuse your theme from the reception venue (a fancy ballroom

or an old theater) to what to wear (have guests come in costumes,

such as butterflies and angels) to the favors (give guests handmade

masks) to the honeymoon (go to Venice during Carnevale).

2. Develop a theme.

Have a photo booth set up at the site so that your friends and family can take their own pictures or group shots. The results are a little like

a home video without sound. Whether you pose properly, make funny faces, or try your best Rockette kick line, you’ll be caught on tape

showing your true colors. Compiled into a visual wedding-day guest book, these are photographs that will be treasured by brides and grooms

for years to come.

White-on-white is never out of style. As many people as there are looking for hot, hip new colors and coordination there are those craving the

ultra-traditional. Talk to your florist about mixing shades of whites for the bouquets; use all-white linens or linens that mix various shades of

white -- ivory cloths with white overlays, for example; and have a white wedding cake with white rolled fondant frosting and accented with

ivory sugar blossoms. Final touches: waiters dressed in tuxedos

The vibe of every wedding is dictated by the decor. To achieve an event that reverberates with romance, adorn your space with dozens of red

roses and golden ornamentation. For casual elegance, try candles set afloat in pools, flowers floating in fish bowls, and a string quartet playing

love ballads.

“For casual elegance, try candles set afloat in pools, flowers in fish bowls,

and a string quartet playing love ballads.””

3. Pick an unforgettable guest book idea.

4. Pay attention to the decor.

5. Go classic.

Develop a visually stunning scene using monochromatic color, whether blue, violet, or kiwi green. See our favorite wedding color ideas. Con-

sider setting up different sizes and shapes of tables (circular, square, rectangular) and use different textures or designs for the fabrics (pin-stripe

fabrics on round tables and tiny polka-dot covers on square ones). Although your color palette will remain the same, each tabletop will render

a distinct personality.

Who says the tables must sport uniform arrangements? Think of your spread of tables as a garden, each row or corner with its own identity.

Place some of your chosen blooms in tall opaque vases, float other flowers in short bowls, use others in clear vases filled with rocks and water.

Accent the shorter centerpieces with tall taper candles and the taller ones with shorter votives or tea lights. Get more wedding reception table

ideas.

If you’ve chosen a huge reception space to accommodate your massive family, make it more intimate by adding lounge furniture. If you can’t

bring in couches and plush chairs to create a sitting area, try seating only four people to a table instead of eight to ten, or drape the walls and

ceilings with rich velvety fabrics to close in the space.

Lighting is a key (and usually forgotten) element. Okay, so there’s always candlelight or chandeliers or strung twinkle lights. But before you

take an easy way out, ask if your venue has another form of lighting and use it! Find out if your venue can provide cool effects like gobo light-

ing to create shapes with light. Yes, it could border on cheesy if you overuse it, but initialing the white walls with your new monogram during

your first dance can add an unexpected element to the occasion.

6. Embrace color.

7. Set your tables apart.

8. Make it intimate.

9. Go for good lighting.

Serve something regional. We know a bride who had a popular East Coast seafood soup poured at each place setting, as guests arrived

in the tent. Another bride we know served sour-cream cornbread with mayhaw jelly, a local southern favorite. If you’re marrying in a

city that brews its own beer, be sure to stock the bar with it or with another signature drink from your hometown.

Espresso bars are hot and a good accessory to dessert --

especially if you serve your espresso with cordials. These

bars also provide a good jolt toward end of the night as

the party winds down and the yawns start pouring in; plus,

lattes and cappuccinos served on dainty china can be very

sexy drinks.

Bring in 20 different sweets like chocolate-covered strawber-

ries, banana fosters, and creme brulee. Talk to your caterer

for clever ways to decorate tables and present mini desserts.

Your family can join in the fun -- ask your best friend’s moth-

er to make her famous brownies or your aunt to make those

pecan delights. A dessert buffet encourages mingling and

ensures getting people off their seats and closer to the dance

floor. If you still can’t pass on the multitiered confection, box

the individual cake slices and distribute as favors.

10. Give your guests a taste of the town.

11. Drink it up.

12. Dessert buffet!

Book professional entertainers. An a cappella group or singing waiters during cocktail hour will turn on the charm. Hire

a group of dancers -- choose from belly dancers to Irish jig or salsa dancers -- who’ll perform during courses. Bring in

some different music for an hour or so, perhaps a steel drum band, a barbershop quartet, or a mariachi band.

A master cigar roller who demonstrates the art of cigar rolling will prove to be a big hit. You might ask him to display

and hand out an array of rare or limited-edition cigars for guests to enjoy after dinner -- do this in conjunction with a

lounging area or around a martini or vodka bar for an added chic factor. Or, have him entertain guests during the cock-

tail hour while you two are busy taking pictures.

There are wedding watercolor artists who will draw in pastels, or paint in watercolors, the reception as it unfolds. This

can be a great gift for the bride and groom, but it’s also some quiet entertainment for guests and especially good for

weddings set in great scenery -- creating a collage of events like guests dancing outdoors on the sand and the best man’s

toast by the water at a beachside bash. ccc

13. Go pro.

14. Add a cigar roller to your reception.

15. Invest in a watercolor artist.

i

Civil or Religious?Your answer to this question affects every

other aspect of the ceremony. You may

already know which way you’ll go; if not,

read on.

Religious: If you follow a particular faith

and your partner is of the same faith (or

open to yours), a religious ceremony may

be a given for you. If you have two different

faiths and plan to keep them separate, you

can create an interfaith ceremony as the

first of a lifetime of blending rituals. Pairs

who believe in God or some other spiritual

force but not in organized religion might

have a nondenominational ceremony (with a

Unitarian minister, for example).

Civil: Prefer to keep religion out of it? A

civil ceremony may be more your speed.

“Civil” means it’s in accordance with state

laws, but the exact requirements vary from

state to state (and even county to county).

Visit the web page of the marriage license

bureau in your wedding location for details

on the civil process there. Other reasons to

stay civil: if this is a second wedding for one

or both of you; if your ideal ceremony is

too creative for your clergy; if your dream

wedding is no wedding (that is, you plan

to elope); if you’re having a destination

wedding.

Where to WedA religious service can be held in a church,

temple, mosque or meeting room, and some

clergy will also officiate at nonreligious sites.

For civil ceremonies, it’s pretty much up to

you where you host your vows (provided

that your officiant agrees to come). While

outdoor sites offer scenic backdrops, if

you’re saying “I do” at a public park or

Your ceremony is the whole reason you’re planning this big, elaborate bash, right? So don’t wait until the last minute to

start thinking about it -- there’s much more to this event than simply saying “I do.” Written By Jessica Micciolo

The Ceremony

beach, be prepared for strangers to walk

by. If you’re not into that, opt for a private

estate or golf course. Also, decide whether

you want to have your ceremony and recep-

tion at the same or different locations. Using

the same venue for both events means you

won’t have to worry about shuttling guests

between two spots, but going with separate

sites lets you create two different moods.

Master of CeremoniesYour choice of officiant is crucial. Look for

someone whose beliefs coincide with yours,

who is as modern or as traditional as you

desire, and who understands you, your rela-

tionship and your ceremony priorities.

Religious OfficiantIf you don’t have someone in mind already,

start with your (or your parents’) current

house of worship, or a childhood church or

college temple, and see if anyone is available

for your wedding date. Another option: Call

that beautiful church or temple you love to

drive by and ask to make an appointment

with a clergy member. (Note: Some churches

may require you to join before hosting your

wedding there; others will marry nonmem-

bers.) Some religious leaders will tailor a

service to include the beliefs of both partners

or will officiate alongside a religious leader

of another faith, while others may refuse. So

if you plan to create an interfaith ceremony,

you may need to look outside your houses

of worship for an officiant who is open to

performing a blended ceremony.

Civil OfficiantDepending on the state or county’s specific

requirements, a judge, magistrate, justice of

the peace, county or court clerk, mayor or

notary public (not, despite what you may

have heard, a ship’s captain—unless he

also holds one of the above civil titles) can

officiate. Call city hall to find a civil officiant

in your area.i

Th e D r e s sHow to find the perfect dress for you and this

seasons most popular styles.

Th e D r e s sHow to find the perfect dress for you and this

seasons most popular styles.

You’ve always been a rebel. Maybe you pierced your

eyebrow, skipped college for an acting career, or

started your own underground web ‘zine. Or may-

be you just like to be different. Now you’re getting married

and you want your attire to reflect your unique sense of

style. You’ve been envisioning micro-minis and thigh-high

boots, body-skimming red leather -- even a sparkling two-

piece bikini.

Here’s the good news: the new millennium has brought with

it a rush of fresh options for the modern bride -- including

all three styles mentioned above. The bad news? Your par-

ents, relatives and other loved ones may not understand your

decision to buck tradition. After all, weddings are steeped

in it. So if you really want to go your own way, consider the

following pointers:

• Thefirstthingyoushoulddoischeckwithyourofficianttofindoutifhe/shehasanyguidelinesorspecificrestrictionsconcerning

bridal attire. Depending on your religion and/or ethnic background, your officiant may insist that your head, legs, and shoulders be

covered. If you wait until the last minute (i.e., the day of the wedding) to reveal your plans, don’t be surprised if the officiant refuses to

start the ceremony until you cover up.

• Anotherthingtoconsideristhetime,place,andformalityofyourwedding.Theaforementionedbikiniwouldseemseriously

out of place at an evening ceremony in a candlelit cathedral packed with 300 guests. Why not opt for an asymmetrical body-skimming

sheath with a thigh-high slit instead? It’s a sexy, modern, entrance-making look, sans the jaw-dropping, commotion-causing shock value.

Written By Katie Millen

• Onceyou’veestablishedthatalternativeattireisappropriateforyourwedding,youmaywanttoclueinyourfamilyandfriends.

Chances are, they’ll want you to be happy, so they’ll support your decision and you can breathe a huge sign of relief. Otherwise, when you

strut down the aisle in your black, plunging designer gown, the feeling could be one of tension and unease -- and all eyes will be on your

outfit, instead of on you, the bride!

Speaking of color, wedding gowns now come in all sorts of beautiful ones -- from bold blues and hot pinks, to greens, golds, and even

reds. If you’re finding it hard to convince your loved ones -- your groom or mom -- that color is completely appropriate, you might want

to consider donning a traditional white wedding gown for your ceremony, then slipping into something in a bold hue for the reception.

• Thereareevenseveralweddinggownsavailabletodaythatboasttwo-in-onedesignsspecificallydesignedforthispurpose:short

dresses with long, see-through layers on top; two-piece gowns with interchangeable skirt and pant options; and body-skimming sheaths

with removable floor-length sheer jackets (which we called the 2-in-1 dress). It may not be the super short and sexy shift you originally

pictured yourself marrying in, but look at it this way: everyone will be happy, and you’ll get to wear two gowns, instead of just one!

“Here’s the good news: the new

millennium has brought with it a rush

of fresh options for the modern bride

-- including all three styles mentioned

above. The bad news? Your parents,

relatives and other loved ones may

not understand your decision to buck

tradition.”

i

Vera Wang says

By Alex Minsky

After the AisleAfter the wedding of your dreams, what come

next?

After the AisleAfter the wedding of your dreams, what come

next?

I love glamour, peacock feathers,

and the 1920s, so I wanted to

really capture all that in the

wedding and in my outfit. I wanted

lace and not a full-length gown,

and one that flattered my curves,

which was a bit of a challenge. But

thankfully, I had my very talented

family friend Steffani Lincecum to

help transform a huge tradition-

al ball gown dress into a dress

straight out of my dreams. Jordan

had a custom suit made from the

most amazing men’s shop in St.

Paul, Heimie’s Haberdashery. The

day before the wedding the guys all

went to get hot towel shaves and

cigars at their barbershop as well.

Our venue allowed us to have the

ceremony and reception in the same

space, which was very important to

me. And being that Jordan is a chef,

food was very important to him.

Luckily the venue is catered by the

delicious Loring Pasta Bar.

Tell us about the ceremony: I was

very nervous about writing an

entire wedding ceremony from

scratch, but we knew this was what

we wanted. For me, the officiant

was going to make or break it. We

threw around some different ideas

of who we wanted to officiate, and

once we made the decision, my

anxiety was greatly diminished. We

chose a dear friend of my family

who has been a wonderful female

role model for me growing up. She

gracefully touched on each of our

personalities, and our relationship

as a whole, while tying in some

wonderful advice.

We kept the ‘20s theme going

with our processional music of

“Ain’t She Sweet” performed by

Gene Austin while my grandma

was escorted in, and “You Were

Meant for Me” while the bridal

We caught up with some of our readers to hear how their wedding turned out. Go to our website after

your wedding to answer a few questions, send in your favorite pictures of the big day and next month

you might be telling us your story! Written By Lauren Mateer

Love Story

party came in. I entered to the song

“Baby” by Devendra Banhart, and

was led in by my four adorable

flower girls (who are all our

nieces), each carrying a one word

sign with the sentence “Here comes

the bride.”

Both Jordan and I were raised in

Catholic families, but neither of

us practices the faith. We knew we

wanted a non-religious ceremo-

ny, and I knew this may cause

some disappointment from some

family members, especially our very

traditional grandmothers. We had

a fairly large wedding, so instead

of passing the rings around during

the ceremony, we had one of our

ushers stand at the back of the

theater and ask guests to warm the

rings with “a wish, a prayer, or a

blessing” as they walked in.

My funniest moment: One of my

favorite moments from the whole

day was when Jordan, who is a

generally emotional guy and comes

from a very emotional family,

started to cry pretty heavily during

the ceremony. He grabbed his

bandanna to wipe the tears, then

turned and pointed to his mom and

said “This is your fault!” Everyone

got a good laugh out of it.

What was the most important

lesson you learned from your wed-

ding? The most important thing

I learned was to trust the people

around me. Exactly one week from

our wedding day, I was sicker than

a dog. I called my amazing mother

and she was able to put my mind

at ease. I have been blessed with

an amazing family and circle of

friends, and have married into an-

other incredible family. Every one

helped out when I needed it.i

Adventure TripsIf reaching for the suntan lotion is

your idea of exertion, this honeymoon

trend isn’t for you. But if you’re a

more active twosome, an afternoon of

learning to surf, hiking to the top of the

tallest nearby peak, or four-wheeling

over rugged terrain are foolproof ways

to increase your pulse.

Where to Go:

• Taking a safari doesn’t have to mean

living like a rhino. Tintswalo Safari

Lodge in South Africa is a luxurious

base from which to explore the sur-

rounding nature reserve. tintswalo.com

• Crisscross the Mediterranean island of

Gozo on a weeklong bike trip. Break-

away Adventures offers “independent”

tours, whereby they suggest routes and

provide bikes, and then wave good-bye.

breakaway-adventures.com

Tip: Find tour operators for adven-

tures from surfing to storm chasing at

voyagetrek.com.

Intimate Cruises We’re not talking about a huge ship

swarming with grannies, we mean

luxury boats with only a few dozen

rooms that can take you to spots that

aren’t as fun to reach via planes, trains,

and automobiles.

Where to Go:

• The Oberoi, Zahra is a week-long

luxury cruise on the Nile River. With

Egyptologists on board to explain the

country’s fascinating history, as well

as four massage suites, this voyage is

just as educational as it is relaxing.

oberoihotels.com

• Island hop between the French

Polynesian Leeward Islands aboard

a 60-person yacht. Depart from Bora

Bora and make stops at the islands of

Taha’a, Huahine, and Raiatea during

the six-night cruise before returning to

Bora Bora. boraboracruises.com

• Love watching Planet Earth? Real

life is better than HD on a National

Geographic-sponsored tour of the

Galapagos Islands, during which you’ll

The Honeymoon

Make your honeymoon memorable, fun and something special just for the two of you! Break from the traditional and try to

find something that fits your style. Written By Andi Phayre

have the chance to glimpse the famous giant tortoises, search

the waters for whales and dolphins, and (we’re not making this

up) snorkel with penguins. expeditions.com

Tip: Find a cruise to fit nearly any itinerary and to practical-

ly any destination (including a 108-day “World Cruise”) at

crystalcruises.com.

Private Villas Whether it’s a house in the countryside or a collection of bunga-

lows along a stretch of beach, private villa rentals afford a lot of

privacy and give guests the sense of having a home away from

home. Expensive? Yes. Worth it? Definitely.

Where to Go:

• The 40 pavilions at Amanyara in Turks and Caicos are made

largely of glass and wood to create airy, open spaces from

which to enjoy the surroundings. amanresorts.com

• Cotton Bay Villas, opening this year in June on the island of

Eleuthera in the Bahamas, will boast 24 villas, a mile-long

beach, and two private cays for birthday-suit sunbathing (just

don’t skimp on the SPF!). discovercottonbay.com

• The Ritz-Carlton, Bali Resort & Spa has 38 new villas perched

on a cliff overlooking the Indian Ocean, each of which has its

own plunge pool. ritzcarlton.com

Tip: Search 1,600 villas of all sizes in Europe and the Caribbean

to find one that fits your honeymoon budget at wimco.com. i