tne resource 1a - auris

The Literacy Shed © 2017

TNE Resource 1a


TNE Resource 1b

words spoken by Daniel himself

Daniel’s actions and reactions

words spoken by Spud

the choice of adjectives and adverbs used by the narrator in relation to Daniel

the narrator’s explanation of Daniel’s thoughts the shopkeeper’s

reaction to Daniel

the narrative clues to Daniel being special in some way in relation to the Emporium

the things that Daniel noticed

something else


TNE Resource 2a

Daniel,

There is a Wonder on the seventeenth floor, opposite the portrait of Papa, called _________________.

I dare you to explore it.

Don’t disappoint me,

Ellie

x


TNE Resource 2b

Dinosaur

https://pixabay.com/en/photos/dinosaur/


TNE Resource 2c


TNE Resource 2d

Discover the door; walk through and describe the ‘Wonder’…

(allude to something sinister)

Reveal the danger gradually as the character discovers it…

(build to short sentences, rhetorical questions and ellipses)

Time slows……. Describe the resolution and exit from the ‘Wander’.

(use expanded noun phrases)


TNE Resource 2e

Discover the door; walk through and describe the ‘Wonder’…• pulled through door as handle turned and instantly

wearing breathing apparatus and in water• describe movement of water, sea creatures, corals

and echoing sounds• discover swimming is easy and begin to explore• describe shipwreck (notice key amongst treasure),

mermaids and whale

(allude to something sinister)


(build to short sentences, rhetorical questions and ellipses)


(use expanded noun phrases)


TNE Resource 3a

The instant Daniel’s finger brushed the handle, the

door swung open towards him with remarkable force.

Daniel was surprised to see that it did not actually

reveal a doorway or entrance; instead a large painting

filled the space where the door had been.

The painting was vaguely familiar to him. It

was an unusual city scene where the streets were

crowded with glum looking monkeys rather than

people. They wore silver suits and huddled under

umbrellas: the heavy rain streaming down around

them. On closer inspection, Daniel realised that the

buildings were not made of bricks but were in fact

constructed from old looking shoes.

He leaned closer still to inspect the strange

streetlights and tensed as enormous globs of icy cold

water hit his face, head and neck. He wiped the rain

from his brow….a monkey glared at him as Daniel’s

elbow unintentionally knocked his umbrella. Cool

wind rushed past him and the sound of heavy footfall

filled the air.


TNE Resource 3b

The instant Daniel’s finger brushed the handle, the

door swung open towards him with remarkable force.

Daniel was surprised to see that it did not actually

reveal a doorway or entrance; instead a large painting

filled the space where the door had been.

The painting was vaguely familiar to him. It

was an unusual city scene where the streets were

crowded with glum looking monkeys rather than

people. They wore silver suits and huddled under

umbrellas: the heavy rain streaming down around

them. On closer inspection, Daniel realised that the

buildings were not made of bricks but were in fact

constructed from old looking shoes.

He leaned closer still to inspect the strange

streetlights and tensed as enormous globs of icy cold

water hit his face, head and neck. He wiped the rain

from his brow….a monkey glared at him as Daniel’s

elbow unintentionally knocked his umbrella. Cool

wind rushed past him and the sound of heavy footfall

filled the air


TNE Resource 3c

Have you conveyed the magic and awe of your wonder?

If not, try adding 2-3 descriptive sentences which focus on the incredible sights / sounds / smells etc.

Do you have at least 4 occurrences of carefully selected vocabulary which alludes to something sinister?

If not, try using a thesaurus to look up words like: scary, unsettling, imposing. Or look up the adjectives you have already used in search of a more negative synonym. Now try to insert some of these results appropriately into your description.

Have you alternated between action and description in the way that you planned?

If not, consider adding some description or action in order to balance the progression of your story with detail for your reader.

Does your writing flow well?

Consider: • shortening/lengthening/rearranging some sentences• including Daniel’s thoughts and reactions• finding alternatives for phrases which are repeated e.g. instead

of ‘he saw’ try ‘Daniel noticed’ or ‘……. caught Daniel’s eye’


TNE Resource 4a

Daniel has entered a wonder which contains peaceful, herbivorous dinosaurs. He loved learning about Dinosaurs as a child and until this moment, has been fascinated to watch them and amble between them. The hidden danger is the volcano which rises sharply behind the grazing dinosaurs. It is about to erupt and Daniel has walked a long way from the door.

The brachiosaur swung his head down from the branch it had been chewing; so close, Daniel could feel its warm, leafy breath. It seemed to tense and become more alert. ________________________ A distant thundering drew Daniel’s attention away from the enormous creature and in the direction of the mountain. Clouds of dust were billowing on the horizon as a herd of horned dinosaurs were making their way towards him. Very quickly. ________________________________________Daniel realised that the dust was not only coming from the herd’s thundering movement but also from the top of the mountain itself. _________________________________________ All around him creatures were on the move, panicked and erratic. The ground shook and Daniel fell to the floor hard.It shook again. Harder. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________The door was still far out of reach yet the blood-red lava was closing the gap.

Rhetorical question

Daniel’s thoughts including ellipses.

Rhetorical question and ellipses.

Short or fragmented sentences.


TNE Resource 5a

Discover the door; walk through and describe the ‘Wonder’…

q Description to convey Daniel’s awe

q Carefully selected vocabulary alluding to

the danger ahead

q Series of actions alternating with

description


q Carefully considered opening sentence

q Rhetorical questions

q Ellipses

q Short or fragmented sentences

q Powerful climatic ending sentence


q Opening sentence to convey time slowing

q Expanded noun phrases to provide detail

q Sentence(s) to show time returns to

normal

q Resolution explained with detail


TNE Resource 6a


TNE Resource 7a


TNE Resource 7b

Dec 1878 Lucien Silver taken from the asylum in Edinburgh by ________

Jan 1883 Silver and Sharpe meet with ___________to organise their

magical theatre shows.

Aug 1885 Silver argues with Sharpe and creates his ______________

May 1890. ____________’s funeral and Sharpe and Silver part ways.

June 1896. Lucien returns to Edinburgh and obtains an old bakery which

he transforms into _________________

June 1897. Exactly one year after __________________, Sharpe visits

Lucien at the Emporium with _________________. They fall in

love.

July 1897. Michelle _________________________ from Lucien.

1898 Baby Ellie is left on _________________.


TNE Resource 7c

Dec 1878 Lucien Silver taken from the asylum in Edinburgh by V. Sharpe.

Jan 1883 Silver and Sharpe meet with Birdie Sandford to organise their

magical theatre shows.

Aug 1885 Silver argues with Sharpe and creates his ‘Book of Wonders’.

May 1890. Birdie’s funeral and Sharpe and Silver part ways.

June 1896. Lucien returns to Edinburgh and obtains an old bakery which

he transforms into the Emporium.

June 1897. Exactly one year after the opening of the Emporium, Sharpe

visits Lucien at the Emporium with Michelle, his daughter.

They fall in love.

July 1897. Michelle steals the Book of Wonders from Lucien.

1898 Baby Ellie is left on Lucien’s doorstep.


TNE Resource 8a

Lucien left the asylum with Sharpe.

Lucien Silver created the book of wonders.

Silver obtained an old bakery in Edinburgh.

Silver devised hundreds of awe-inspiring wonders.

Lucien and Sharpe engaged in a deadly magicians duel.


TNE Resource 8b

Lucien left the asylum with Sharpe.The asylum was left by Lucien with Sharpe.

Lucien Silver created the book of wonders.The book of wonders was created by Lucien Silver

Silver obtained an old bakery in Edinburgh.An old bakery in Edinburgh was obtained by Silver.

Silver devised hundreds of awe-inspiring wonders.Hundreds of awe-inspiring wonders were devised by Silver.

Lucien and Sharpe engaged in a deadly magicians duel.A deadly magicians dual was engaged in by Lucien and Sharpe.


TNE Resource 8c

Have you ever wanted to fight back against the parents and teachers who misunderstand, mentally abuse and oppress you? It had never been Matilda’s intention to rebel but circumstances left her with only two options; give in or fight back and Matilda was no victim. She was just 7 years old when she achieved international fame for her incredible telekinesis, not to mention her staggering intelligence. Her journey to fame and a peaceful life was not an easy one though.

Every one of us has heard of ‘the boy who lived’, many of us have even met him, but did you know that he was entirely unaware of his stature until his 11th birthday? Harry Potter should have had the perfect wizard upbringing were it not for the fatal events of Halloween night in 1981 which left Harry, the greatest hero of our time, an orphan. Dreaming of incredible adventures from his cupboard under the stairs, young Potter had no idea that his dreams would not be a patch on the real events of his life.


TNE Resource 8d

made

went

argued

bought

opened

left

got

worked


TNE Resource 9a

Time

o until theno meanwhileo to begin

witho after that

Place

o near this location

o in that roomo within the

cityo along the

lane

Number /Frequency

o firstlyo occasionallyo rarelyo sometimes

Cause and Effect

o as a resulto due to o subsequentlyo hence

Exception

o despite thiso with the

exception ofo besideso other than

Comparison

o similarlyo in contrasto neverthelesso rather than

Clarification

o above allo for instanceo the main

reason for this

o in fact

Emphasis

o primarilyo above all

elseo especiallyo most

importantly

Adverbials for Cohesion


TNE Resource 10a

Formal Voice Station

1) Use a green highlighter to highlight every

verb in your biography.

2) Look carefully at the verbs you have used.

With the help of the formal word banks and

a thesaurus, find synonyms for and replace

informal verbs.

3) Use a green highlighter to highlight all

incidences of passive voice.

4) Rewrite some of your sentences to ensure

you have at least 4 examples of passive

voice.


TNE Resource 10b

Detail and Description Station

1) Improve or add to the description used to

explain the difficult life Lucien Silver had at

the asylum and when being trained and

punished by Sharpe (consider use of

expanded noun phrases).

2) Improve or add to the description used to

detail the incredible magic Lucien created in

his Emporium (consider use of expanded

noun phrases).

3) Can you find anywhere to add these words

into your biography: awe, astonishing,

bewildering, remarkable, eccentric,

entranced, spectacle, mesmerised.


TNE Resource 10c

Adverbials for Cohesion Station

1) Highlight in yellow all the adverbials for

cohesion you have used in your biography.

2) Now ensure you have included at least 3 in

each section of your biography

3) Make sure that you have used a variety of

adverbials by selecting from each category.


TNE Resource 10d

Punctuation

1) Ensure you have included rhetorical

questions with question marks.

2) Ensure you have included one or more

exclamation marks when explaining

something surprising about Lucien’s life.

3) Challenge: Ensure you have included some

parenthesis punctuated with brackets,

commas or dashes: A year (to the day) after the

Emporium’s grand opening…. Lucien, who guarded his

book fervently, believed that…. Silver – unaware of the

impending betrayal- spent every waking hour…..

tne resource 1a - auris

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