Disclaimer

• You might think this talk is about you or your company

• It’s not• We’ve all seen (and participated in) far

worse...

Disclaimer

• You might think this talk is about you or your company

• It’s not• We’ve all seen (and participated in) far

worse...

• I’m also still quite tired

Turning a Crisis into a Drama

‘Cos that makes it a lot more fun, right?

1. Crowd Around Anyone Who is Typing

1(a). Flap

1(b). Shout

1(c). Panic

1(d). Best of All , Get Physical

1(e). But at Least, Get Emotional

2. Keep Information to Yourself

2(a). Listen to Rumour

2(b). Rely on Gossip

(Chinese Whispers Work Excellently)

2(c). Be Afraid to Say “I Don’t Know”

2(d). Never Admit When You’re Wrong

2(e). Or When Something May Have Been Your Fault

2(f). Blame, Blame, Blame

3. Work Incredibly Long Hours

3(a). Change as Much as Possible Simultaneously

3(b). Introduce Additional Problems Whenever You Can

3(c). Throw All Best Practice and Process Out the Window

3(d). Disrespect the Chain of Command

3(e). Don’t Protect Your People

4. Find Statistics to Place a Religious Level of Belief In

4(a). Marvel at the Power of a Dashboard and a Subset of Data