Non-Verbal for Non-Profits

Vanessa Van Edwards ScienceOfPeople.org

The Rise of Nonverbal ScienceNixon vs. Kennedy

Beyond Words

1/3 Verbal Content

1/3 Face and Body

1/3 Voice Tone

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= 2/3 Nonverbal

= Great nonverbal makes everything better.

*Journal of Educational Psychology, 1995

Higher Teacher Ratings Higher Content Ratings Higher Textbook Ratings

Nature or Nurture?

Researchers at the University of British Columbia discovered that nonverbal behavior once assumed to be acquired through environment is in fact innate.

Donor Stewardship: Why Nonverbal?

Donor Hidden Emotions Caring for Donors Empathizing with Donors Demonstrating for Donors

Part I: Decoding the Face

Caring for Donors Reading Colleagues Interviewees and Interviewing (Friends, spouses, family...)

Microexpressions

Fear

Brows raised and drawn together, usually flat Eyes has upper white showing Mouth open and lips stretched or drawn back

Anger

Brows Lowered and drawn together, vertical lines on the forehead

Lips tense (or yelling position) Chin juts forward Eyes Narrow (Suspicion)

Happiness

Crows feet at the eyes

Cheeks raised

Lips drawn up and back (showing teeth or not)

Contempt

One side of the mouth raises

Eyes can be narrowed at target

Turns body away

Surprise

Brows raised and curved, horizontal forehead wrinkles

White of the eye above and below, eyelids open

Jaw drops and teeth can be parted (as if to yell)

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Disgust

Nose crinkled Lips pulled up

Sadness

Inner corners of eyebrows drawn up (hard to fake)

Eyes droopy

Mouth pulled down, chin back

Lips can be in a pout

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Examples Donors Anger at an asking amount

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Interviews Fear Talk to me a little about salary

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Colleagues How do you feel about working with this __ donor?

Part II: Your Nonverbal

Non VerbalsEmotions

*Amy Cuddy, Harvard Business School

Hormone Changes Cortisol The stress hormone Decreases the immune

system Increases blood

pressure Bad for long term

memory

Testosterone The power hormone Improves endurance Sharpens cognitive

abilities Increases muscle mass

86% more risk taking

Low Confidence

Contracted As little space as

possible Vitals Protected Head Down or Bowed Shoulders In

High Confidence

Expansive Claiming Territory Trunk and Vitals

Exposed Head Up, Chest Up Shoulders Back

Behind the Scences Poses

In-Person Power Poses

Loose Arms Face Up Non-Contracted Legs Expansive Arms

In-Person

Upper Body Movement Chest Up Shoulders Down Hands Visible

How Do We Use This?

In-Person Meetings Emails Phone Conversations

We can identify 16 different types of smiles from sound alone. (Drahota and Costal, 1979)

The Power of Voice ToneParalinguistics

Voice Tone Tips Authoritative Voice Tone

Power Posing Helps! Question Inflection Dropping on Volume Mirroring Vocally

Part III: Top Nonverbal Tips for

Fundraising Hiring Interviewing Interacting with colleagues Negotiating

In 30 minutes, two people can send over 800 nonverbal signals.

1. Watch For Withholding

Pursed Lips

2. Watch For Shame

Blocking Behavior

3. Use Triple Nods Research shows that people will talk 3 to

4 times more than usual if the listener nods their head.

Faster = impatient Slow = engaged

4. Show Your Hands

Research shows its the first place

we look.

Power Poses:

Hands are always visible

5. Mirroring

6. Use Your Clients Learning Style 35% visualI see what

you mean 25% audioI hear you 40% feelingscant

quite grasp it, lets kick the idea around

7. Encourage Open Body Language

Demonstrate It (so they mirror you)

Encourage It Bring Props

PDFs Business Cards Water / Snacks

Go to Their Side of the Table

8. Avoid:

Pointing Peering over your glasses

9. Positioning

Across the Table Seating Less recall of what was said Reject more proposals Shorter sentences

Solution:

Take-Aways Dont Forget Nonverbal!

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Body Language Helps Others and Yourself

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Practice Your Microexpressions

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Use Your Powers for Good and Not Evil

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More Info:

Vanessa Van Edwards

vvanedwards@gmail.com

www.ScienceofPeople.org