By Peter CoganStaff Writer

Rebel Rock Dazzles Among Large Crowd Anyone pulling into the Priory campus last Saturday night could tell how crazy this year’s Battle of the Bands would be. The parking was packed with cars filing all the way back to the science wing; walking in, you could hear the thunderous music before you even got inside. The theater was ab-solutely packed; people were forced to sit on the side walls. The mosh pit in front was packed tight. This year’s turn-out was the best of any Rebel Rock yet. The Alleyway Antics led the night off with great performances of “Come Sail Away” and “Stacy’s Mom,” sung by Jack Rourke, but was unfortunately cursed with a small crowd while people were still arriving. But once the the-ater was filled, the night took off. It is safe to say that the loudest band was Adven-ture Time, led by vocalist Ev-erett Zornes and his magic sword; they shook the entire building and nobody could even think because of their volume. Nico Stillman’s band, Head Above Water, featuring ex-Priory student John Sullivan, took a close sec-ond on volume level, playing a great original, “Straight No Chaser.” The sur-prise of the night was the sophomore band Quality Brome with vocalist Chris Chivetta, guitarist Taylor Dubray, vio-linist Brayton Briggs, and drummer T.J. Nieman. The music was phenomenal,

but the glow sticks they handed out to the pit during their performance put the icing on the cake as they took sec-ond place. There was a new Rebel Rock record set as well. Junior Ryan Donlin, was a member of four bands: World’s Requiem, OK Fire, Ballooning over Berlin, and Kung Fu Goldfish, who took third place thanks to the best vocalist of the night, Taylor Hughes. It is hard to imagine the amount of effort it takes to be a part of one, or even two bands, but

four bands is ridiculous. However, the true champions of the night were the Van Bree Family. Mitch Van Bree and

his band The Low Maintenance Folkies took first prize with two inspiring originals: “Write My Name” and “Pleases As Punch.” The band featured Mitch Van Bree and Hanna ‘Natural Blue’ Holladay as the lead vocalists, and late addition rhythm guitar-ist Ryan Token. Mitch’s 8th grade brother, Noah, had an honor-able mention with his band The Familiar Shapes. And to top it all off Mr. Van Bree organized a band of Priory dads called Bad Dand, which also featured the UrbanFUTURE performers. It was a great night for music-lovers and non-music-lovers alike. The event greatly benefitted the sponsor charity, UrbanFU-TURE, which is dedicated to the success of urban youth through character growth, academics, and career preparation. Malcolm Briggs represented them well as the emcee, as is tradition. There should also be a thank you to the

judges: Father Michael, Carrie Lane, Father Augustine, and Ken Krueger, all of whom gave great, positive input to all of the bands who performed. I also want to give a shout out to the STUCO representatives that help organize the event every year. Rebel Rock is a great night for the school as it raises lots of money and also brings the Priory com-munity together. Everybody should al-ready be anticipating next year’s Rebel Rock.

CheatingHeadmaster Fr. Michael writes about the cheating policy. Page 2

Junior Staff Writer Thomas Burton looks for why so many dislike Justin Bieber. Page 6.

Justin BieBer turns 18

Vol. Xlii, issue 15 3/9/12 the offiCial student newspaper of saint louis priory

The RecoRd

2the reCord staff

t h e p r i o ry r e C o r d@g M a i l.C o M

editor in ChiefluKe d slaBaugh

layout editortreVor Jin

Content editorCarter gage

editorial

The Record is the offi-cial student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is pro-duced by student editors/staff members. Its purpose isthreefold: to inform stu-dents of events in the com-munity; to encourage dis-cussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a trainingground for budding jour-nalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Re-cord accepts contributions from all members of the Pr iory community, includ-ing students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will notpublish content consideredlegally unprotected speech,including but not limited to: libel, copyright in-fringement, or unwarrant-ed invasion of privacy, or material disruption of theeducational process. Stu-dent edi tors apply profes-sional standards to the production of the newspa-per and are solely respon-sible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editorsare always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

Headmaster Addresses Cheating

Two years ago, aft er a particularly egregious incident of cheating on a major test in-volving at least 5 students, I instituted a two strikes policy, under which two incidents of cheating would incur the pen-alty of expulsion. All of you in the high school were here then when I instituted this policy. Since that time, under this policy I did in fact ask one student to leave. At that time I consult-ed no one before implement-ing the policy. I was respond-ing to the particular situation and the excuses being made by some advocates of the stu-dents involved. I was angry and I wanted to make it clear that there was no place for cheating at Priory. However in this policy I did not diff erentiate between the levels of seriousness of of-fenses. In other words I treated every sin of cheating as a mortal sin with the consequence of the highest penalty. It was unwise of me to do this and to not consult with educators with more expe-rience than I. However I am not one to NOT admit a mistake, and I am not one make students pay the highest price for my mis-take.Th e problems with this policy have been brought home to my by an incident three weeks ago of 4 students in the senior class plagiarizing a homework as-signment. Th ree of these students have a prior incident in previ-ous years. So according to this policy I should expel them, or if I would suspend them, we & they would be required to noti-

fy the colleges from which they have accepted off ers of admis-sion. Th is would seriously jeop-ardize those admissions. Th e consequences of punishment for their plagia-rized homework seem all out of proportion to the off ense. Th e punishment would be felt not only by the student’s parents but also most of the senior class. Th is is one of those cas-es in which I am torn between my responsibilities as a head-master and my conduct and choices as a priest. I am keenly aware of making an exception to policy and rules, because I was only able to be ordained a priest because the man who is now Pope granted me the per-sonal favor of exception to the rule in Canon Law that forbade me to be ordained because as a Muslim I had converted to a non-Christian religion. I am also aware that when I stand before God in judgment, there are a lot of big sins for which I’m hoping He will have mercy and not hold me accountable. Th is is also a case that whatever I decide to do, a lot of people will be unhappy with that decision…teachers, parents and students in all cases. Th is is a result of a fl awed policy. I believe that then Cdl. Ratzinger’s decision to let me be ordained has resulted in my being able to do good for a lot of people, some of which would not have been done otherwise. But I also know that some peo-ple believe then Cdl. Ratzinger made a big mistake and they believe that I have done a lot of harm. Th at’s life. You can’t please everyone all the time.

So while I have not de-cided what to do in all of these cases, I can tell you that I am not expelling anyone; that only one of these students will have to explain this incident to his college.I am also appointing Fr. Linus to chair a committee consisting of Mrs. Hartnett, Mr. Gleich, Mr. Finan & Dr. Kilcullen to form a clear and fair disciplinary policy regarding plagiarism and cheating that will have penalties commensurate with the gravity and frequency of off enses. To those of you who are unhappy with my decision, I am truly sorry, but I cannot see that as a Priest I can do any-thing other in this case. I do not believe that these students who have done something incredibly stupid are deserving of being expelled from this family & community in which they have grown up for the last six years, only three months away from graduating. I believe they are sinners who can be saved and redeemed in their remaining time with us. If I am wrong, my con-science is clear because I gave them every chance to be a Prio-ry man of honor; and I’d do the same for you if you were in that exact same situation. However, if you think that this signals a toleration of cheating you would be wrong. If this same plagiarism had hap-pened in the fall term, these students would be expelled. If it happened any time in junior year, these students would be expelled and my conscience would be clear.

By Fr. RalphContributor

By Fr. MichaelHeadmaster

3editorial

As I walked downstairs late at night and proclaimed I was writing an article on baseball for Th e Record, my sister chimed in with her typical words of wisdom saying, “Well, shouldn’t you have gotten quotes from guys on the baseball team to write it well?” Oh, sis-ters. When I explained that I really was writing on the new BBCOR regula-tions for baseball, she cleverly respond-ed, “What?” To most people, this topic would be a “What?” I doubt many

people outside of the baseball world will take any note that the players they so adore watching play will be playing with a diff erent bat. It’s not just that, though. Th e new regulations on the BBCOR will radically change the way players, hit, run, and pitch. Th e statistical facts of the case are these: the NCAA ruled in 2009 that they would be switching from the BESR method of testing bats, to BBCOR. BB-COR stands for the Bat-Ball Coeffi cient of Restitution and has proven to be more eff ective in testing true bat power

than BESR because BESR, which stands for Ball Exit Speed Ratio, only tested the speed of the ball aft er it left contact with the bat. Th e reason BBCOR will make life more diffi cult for baseball players, though, is because of the type of bat it requires players to use. Instead of a composite or hollow-core aluminum bat, players must use bats with a solid core that doesn’t “give” as much when it makes contact with the ball. Th e ball will come off the bat slower, which puts hitters at a disadvantage.

Effects Of New BBCOR RegulationBy Eddie Griesedieck

Staff Writer

OBSERVATION 5Th e Second Vatican Council, 1965 in Gaudium et Spes (section 51), declared: “Life must be protected with the utmost care from the mo-ment of conception; abortion and infanticide are abominable crimes.”

OBSERVATION 6BLESSED MOTHER TERESA IN HER TALK WHEN RECEIVING THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR PEACE

11 December 1979 “But I feel the greatest de-stroyer of peace today is abortion, because itis a direct war, a direct killing - di-rect murder by the mother her-

self. And we read in the Scripture, for God says very clearly: Even if a mother could forget her child - I will not forget you - I have carved you in the palm of my hand. We are carved in the palm of His hand, so close to Him that unborn child has been carved in the hand of God. And that is what strikes me most, the beginning of that sentence, that even if a mother could forget, some-thing impossible - but even if she could forget - I will not forget you. And today the greatest means - the greatest destroyer of peace is abor-tion. And we who are standing here - our parents wanted us. We would

not be here if our parents would do that to us. Our children, we want them, we love them, but what of the millions. Many people are very, very concerned with the children in India, with the children in Africa where quite a number die, maybe of malnutrition, of hunger and so on, but millions are dying deliberately by the will of the mother. And this is what is the greatest destroyer of peace today. Because if a mother can kill her own child - what is left for me to kill you and you kill me -there is nothing between.”

Ralph’s RagesBy Fr. Ralph

Contributor

Continued on Pg. 6there is nothing between.”

4 puzzles

Cryptogram

- Jerry Seinfeld

Crossword Puzzle

SudokuDifficulty - Medium

ACROSS1. Arrived5. Wholly ab-sorbed9. Hyrax14. Churn15. Nursemaid16. Silly17. Sea eagle18. Not a single one19. What you suck your drink through20. Nylons22. Vends23. Savor24. Spermal fluid26. Not amateur

29. Flew too close to the sun (Greek mythology)33. Contracts to lease transporta-tion38. Clothing39. Assistant40. Writing tables42. Skin disease43. Hogfish or razorfish45. Unaffected by time47. Assyrian or Babylonian, for example48. Constantly remind

49. Ladies52. Tomb57. North Ameri-can diving duck60. Put into one’s bank account63. A brittle aro-matic resin64. Press laundry65. Accomplished66. Corridor67. A type of cab-bage68. Dour69. Consecrate70. 2 2 2 271. Anagram of “Seal”

DOWN1. Top line of a hill2. Heart artery3. Son of Zeus and Europa (Greek my-thology)4. Select by voting5. Hindu princess6. An Egyptian deity7. Twinges8. Not those9. Take apart10. Before birth11. An earthy de-posit rich in lime12. A Freudian stage13. Current events 21. Retained25. An unwholesome

atmosphere27. Ransom28. Mineral bearing rock30. Type of cereal grass31. Vases32. Perceives visually33. Crow sounds34. Employ35. Biblical first man36. Repeat payments to performers37. Super Sonic Transport41. Family 44. Paper fasteners46. They come from chickens

50. Order51. Asian antelope53. Long narrow range of hills54. Coral island55. 2nd planet from the sun56. Swelling under the skin57. Forms on a wound58. Spiral59. A vaulted recess on a building61. Played on horse-back or in the water62. 1 1 1 1

puzzles 5Crossword Puzzle

SudokuDifficulty -Evil

Cryptogram

- Jerry Seinfeld

ACROSS1. Lane6. Boast10. Scientific workplaces14. Native of New Zealand15. Greasy16. Sword17. Picture18. An Anglo-Saxon minstrel19. Indicator20. Destroys22. Frozen23. Arid24. Makes angry26. Hogfish or razorfish30. Desert animal

32. Nimbus33. Storage build-ing35. Walked through water39. Divert41. Metric unit of area42. Not fresh43. A group of lions44. Hindu prin-cess46. Leaf of the talipot palm47. Light kisses49. Done to butter on toast51. A style of half mask

54. Every bit55. Employee Stock Option Program56. Obnoxious63. Not pre-recorded64. Played on horseback or in the water65. Male singing range66. Swerve67. Not fatty68. Wear away69. Goes astray70. Anglo-Saxon slave71. Compact

DOWN1. Among2. Crippled3. A rich soil of sand and clay4. Therefore5. Cedes6. Pushy7. Wealthy8. Found in some skin lotions9. Used in plaster10. Lawmaker11. Rapidly12. Bring forth13. Sows 21. An-gers25. Church benches

26. Stinging insect27. A tributary of the Rhine River28. Wild African sheep29. Small wading birds30. Anagram of “Acres”31. City in Yemen34. “Listen up!”36. Valley37. Singer Fitzger-ald38. Deceased40. Adolescent 45. Small island48. Twosome

50. Coated with a layer of metal51. Cut into52. Willow53. A proposer of a formal motion54. Without com-panionship57. Negatives58. Scheme59. Withered60. In a little while (archaic)61. Gestures of assent62. Tall woody plant

6 editorial

By Thomas BurtonStaff Writer

Bieber Turns 18

On Thursday, the pop sing-er Justin Bieber celebrated his 18th birthday. After such a momentous occasion, let us take the time to ponder one simple question: Why does everybody hate him? This is a question that most certainly has a multi-faceted an-swer. In my opinion, there are three definite reasons for the entire male population’s hate of “The Biebs”. The first and most obvious reason to hate Justin Bieber is his hair—his smooth, brown, shaggy hair. His hair is an embarrassment for the entire male population. Any man who rocks the style of hair-

cut that he does is most likely not a man. It’s that simple. Another thing that angers the male population is his voice. As Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe put it, he “genuinely thought it was a woman singing” the first time he heard a Bieber song. While his voice has deepened somewhat over the past year or two, Bieber stills sounds like (in my estimation) a fifteen year old girl. There is nothing wrong with sounding like a fifteen year old girl—that is, of course, unless you aren’t a fifteen year old girl. The third and final reason for hating the boy affectionately dubbed

“J-Biebs,” is that the male population is jealous of him. It causes me deep pain to say this, but Justin Bieber attracts the opposite sex more than any of the readers of this article. He is so smooth with the ladies that he even managed to procure the affec-tion of the lovely Selena Gomez. His relationship with Sel-Go (and all women in general) gives males yet another reason for hating his guts. So while Justin Bieber may look and sound like a female, he is most likely better with the ladies than you are—and we hate him even more for that. So to you, Justin, we wish a not-so-happy birthday.

Ralph’s Rages (cont.)OBSERVATION 7

Dr Jérôme Lejeune. (1927-1994) was professor of fundamen-tal genetics at a hospital for sick children in Paris. He received many awards for his work on human chro-mosomal diseases including the Kennedy Award and the William Allan Memorial award. In an article about the early stages of human life he writes: “..At two months of age, in utero, the human being is less than one thumb’s length from the head to the rump. He would fit easily into anutshell, but everything is there: hands, feet, head, organs, brain, allare in place. His heart has been beating for a month already. Look-ing closely, one would see the palm

creases. With a good magnifier the finger prints could be detected. Ev-ery document is available for a na-tional identity card.” “..To accept the fact that after fertilization has taken place, a new human has come into being, is no longer a matter of taste or of opin-ion. The human nature of the hu-man being from conception to old age is not a metaphysical contention, it is plain experimental evidence.”

OBSERVATION 8BLESSED JOHN PAUL II March 25

1995 #2 The Gospel of Life message fulfils human aspirations beyond our wildest dreams. The Church knows that this Gospel of Life, which she has re-

ceived from her Lord, has a pro-found and persuasive echo in the heart of every person or believer and non-believer alike, because it marvelously fulfils all the heart’s expectations while infinitely sur-passing them. Even in the midst of difficulties and uncertainties, every person sincerely open to truth and goodness can, by the light of reason and the hidden action of grace, come to recognize in the natural law writ-ten in the heart (cf. Rom 2:14-15) the sacred value of human life from its very beginning until its end, and can affirm the right of every human being to have this primary good re-spected to the highest degree. Upon the recognition of this right, every human community and the political community itself are founded…