THINKING OUT

LOUDA Newsletter from the RAF Mental Health Network

IN THIS EDITION

Through The Lens

of

Nature

The Power of Talk:

Breaking the Stigma

Never miss a thing by

joining our MS Teams

Site HERE

Volume 4 – September 2021

World Suicide

Prevention Day

2021

Sport In Mind

9

Volume 3

Thinking Out

Loud

Page 2

World Suicide Prevention Day 2021

Page 3

Sport In Mind: Talisman Triathlon

Page 5

Through the Lens of Nature

Page 7

Spotlight – Mark Bottrill – The Power

of Talk: Breaking the Stigma

Page 9

From the Loss of a Friend…

Sept 2021 1

3

CONTENTS2

7

5

This edition focuses on the subject

of Suicide, if you need immediate

help please call 111 or 999 or visit

your nearest A&E

Stigma associated with mental health can be a significant barrier to some who

need help and support. Changing the narrative around suicide through the

promotion of hope can help grow a more compassionate organisation where all

those in need feel comfortable in coming forward to seek help.

An array of help is available through the command chain, welfare teams,

Personnel Support & Human Resources staff, medical centres, SSAFA,

Chaplains and through the RAF Mental Health Network. Sharing insights,

stories, and experiences through both the RAF Mental Health Network and the

RAF Time To Change Network can help inspire hope, in those who are

struggling, that they can get through periods of distress or crisis. These

networks, along with the roll-out of Thriving at Work training for all RAF

personnel and Air Civil Servants, aim to reduce stigma, raise awareness, build

resilience and support early help-seeking behaviour through a range of expert

services.

Speaking about the importance of access to support, AVM Byford said:

“We know that access to specialist support and other welfare services is

extremely important and this is something that we continue to work with the

delivery owners to improve.”

• The RAF Health and Wellbeing and the RAF Families Federation websites

offer a range of tools, resources and useful links.

• The Defence mental wellbeing toolkit, HeadFIT, is a useful digital source of

support and information.

• SSAFA provides confidential and independent emotional and practical

support to all RAF personnel and their families via its 24/7 helpline and

station workers.

• The RAF Benevolent Fund offers free access to the mindfulness

app Headspace and its Wellbeing Zone is available for all the RAF Family,

covering topics such as resilience, nutrition, physical and mental health and

self-help programmes.

• The RAF Benevolent Fund also provides a 24/7 emotional support helpline

for all adults within the RAF Family, as well as its Listening and Counselling

Service.

• The Royal Air Forces Association provides an online version of its ‘Finding It

Tough’ mental wellbeing training called ‘mini-FIT’, which is available via

Microsoft Teams online each Monday to Thursday afternoon.

• The Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) provides a confidential

employee support network that offers expert advice and compassionate

guidance 24/7 to all Defence civil servants.

• Further information and resources regarding World Suicide Prevention Day

can be found at the Samaritans: World Suicide Prevention

Day and Samaritans: Suicide Prevention and Peer Support in the Armed

Forces

WORLD SUICIDE

PREVENTION DAY 2021On 10 September, Defence will recognise World Suicide Prevention Day, as an

opportunity to raise awareness of suicide and to promote action to reduce the

number of suicides and suicide attempts.

This year’s World Suicide Prevention Day focuses on ‘Creating Hope through

Action’, which aims to inspire confidence that our actions, no matter how big or

small, may provide hope to those who are struggling.

In her VIDEO, Air Vice-Marshal Maria Byford speaks about the impact of

suicide, she said: “Suicide is something that can affect everyone. Each and

every suicide is devastating and has a profound impact on all those involved.

Sadly, suicide rates in the UK have risen in recent years, particularly amongst

young women and with men in their late forties at greatest risk.”

2Sept 2021 2

By raising awareness, reducing

the stigma around suicide and

encouraging well-informed

action, we can reduce instances

of suicide. Through action, you

can make a difference – as a

friend, as a colleague, as a

leader – we all can play a role

in supporting those who feel

vulnerable, are struggling, or

are experiencing a crisis.

Starting a conversation or

actively listening to show

people that you care about

them can really help. By

creating hope through action,

we can show our support and

signal to people that there is

hope, that we care and that we

have the time and space to

listen and support them in their

most difficult moments.

SPORT IN MIND:

TALISMAN TRIATHLON –

FRANKIE TINSLEY

Sept 2021 3

Story Provided by RAF Sport

On the 7 August for a total of 14 days, FS Frankie Tinsley took on the ultimate test of endurance,

stamina and strength and established the Talisman Triathlon, the UK’s first ultra-triathlon attempting

to be the first person to cycle from Land’s end to John O’Groats by swimming the longest lakes and

lochs and running from their ends over the highest peaks in Wales, England and Scotland.

The Aims were:

1 – Complete the Talisman Triathlon (A world’s first!).

2- Raise awareness surrounding Physical and Mental Health in the movement

against suicide after the loss of 2 fellow PTIs in 2016/17.

“Every week, 125 people in the UK take their own lives. 75% of all UK suicides are male,’’ says

Frankie. Between 2016 and 2017 Frankie Tinsley lost 2 friends to suicide. ‘’In May 2016 Andrew

Shepherd, a Royal Air Force Physical Training Instructor, originally from Ballachulish – Scotland,

took his own life. I had seen him just days before he moved back to Scotland with his wife and

young daughter.

‘’In January 2017, Andrew Morris, A Royal Air Force Physical Instructor, originally from Falmouth –

Cornwall, took his own life. Less than 6 months earlier Andy and I had planned to organise some

form of Charity event spanning England Wales and Scotland.

‘’The Talisman Triathlon is a product of that conversation and its journey took me through both of

their home-towns. People should know that I am not a triathlete, In fact, I had never done a triathlon.

I didn’t choose the Talisman Triathlon, it chose me! I hope that my journey of effort, mindset,

suffering, belief and sacrifice for a higher purpose can encourage those unknown individuals who

may be struggling in silence to continue to fight their own battles. By signposting to the charity –

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) and raising funds, I also hope that this event will

encourage these individuals to speak out in order to get the help and support that they very much

need.

‘’During the planning process for the Talisman Triathlon, a CALM ambassador, who like me, also

lost a close friend to suicide told me that each suicide impacts a very significant number of people.

I’m not angry at Andy for taking his own life. I’m angry at him for leaving family and friends behind

who cared for him. Please, anyone who is having the same dark thoughts as Andy. You need to take

ownership of those thoughts! We should try to be more self-aware and when we recognise negative

or dangerous thoughts, we should try to apply positive self-regulation; When this doesn’t work then

this is the time to reach out. People need to convince themselves that suicide is NOT an option - Full

STOP! You alone are accountable to yourself and others. Never, EVER, think the world is better off

without you… Never think you’re a failure! I’m a 40-year old man… and I’m still trying to better

myself.’’

The charity CALM is the UK’s leading movement against suicide. Since the beginning of lockdown,

the CALM helpline has answered over 190,000 calls and chats. That is a call every 61 seconds. It

costs £8 to answer a potentially life-saving call. It is more important to signpost the charity CALM

than it is to raise funds, and for this reason, Frankie chose not to set a fundraising target but instead

encouraged people to follow and share the story of the Talisman Triathlon in an attempt to reach as

many as possible.

Sept 2021 4

Frankie’s gruelling schedule included:

• Cycle 551km, Land’s

End to Lake Bala

• Swim 6km, Lake Bala

• Run 63km, Snowdon

• Cycle 260km, Snowdon

to Windermere

• Swim 18km,

Windermere

• Run 29km, Scafell Pike

• Cycle 355km, Scafell

Pike to Loch Awe

• Swim 41km, Loch Awe

• Run 103km,

Kinlochleven and Ben

Nevis

• Cycle 302km, Ben Nevis

to John O’Groats

Project Talisman is in collaboration with ThruDark, HUUB, Ribble Cycles, Inov-

8, Muc-Off who supported the project throughout.

THROUGH THE LENS

OF NATURE

Sept 2021 5

By Shaun Griffin

“…nature nourishes me and

anchors my emotions in a

sometimes turbulent

stream…”

To find a balance in today’s fast-moving world, to find that

equilibrium that nourishes you and allows time for reflection,

does not overwhelm your senses or emotional spare capacity is,

I would reflect a constant challenge. Despite our ingrained self-discipline,

which should support our mental well-being, acts against us in some instances

I feel. As service personnel, the ability to maintain some of our own authenticity, with the

ever-changing demands of the Service has been at the front of my mind for a long time.

The demands placed on our leaders especially, where the requirement is that we are

constantly operating offers me some tough leadership and personal challenges.

I hear you say. That statement that we have all heard at one

time or another, just getting on it with it, implies, for me, a

lack of thought, judgement and consideration for your own

wellbeing. Perhaps I’ve been guilty, like thousands before

me of not exercising self-care and taking time to nourish

my own wellbeing. As a leader we should be placing our

own oxygen masks on first before assisting others who

might not be coping so well. Spending time in nature

provides me the balance I need to remain effective as a

leader, nature nourishes me and anchors my emotions

in a sometimes turbulent stream.

…so just get on with it…

Sept 2021 6

Have you ever wondered what’s causing that

sharp intake of breath when you see a stunning

landscape for the first time at the crest of the

hill you have climbed? Author Richard Louv

mentioned ‘Nature-Deficit Disorder’ in his book

‘Last Child in the Woods.’ Our connection, or lack of it,

with nature is a deep-rooted genetic link which triggers feelings of

wellbeing and of being contented. I use nature in exactly that way, for me

it’s a wholesome experience, that increases my sensory awareness. I’m more

alert, far more aware of the space around me and as a result I see more wonderful things

in nature. My journey with photography stems from early cameras before digital became a

thing and living and being brought up on an arable farm in the 60s and 70s. I was never far

from nature as a child, though perhaps not very aware of it, or appreciative of it.

When we entered the first lockdown, I took to early morning walks instead of commuting, I

would take my camera along and found myself just stood still for minutes on end listening

and trying to capture the perfect shot. Anyone who knows photography will, I’m sure relate

that your current lens isn’t good enough and that the next price tag for something better is

justified. Perhaps one of the most satisfying elements, next to experiencing nature, is the

composition and editing of a photograph you have captured. I’m based in East Anglia, I am

therefore lucky to be within a drivable distance of the coast, but the amount of nature

reserves and woodland trust areas that are free to visit

and on my doorstop is simply staggering. I have

Kingfishers nesting just 5 minutes drive from the camp

gates, I had a close encounter with a Roe Deer at about

10 metres and managed a few quick snaps, all this

happened within a few miles of camp The airfield at

RAF Honington has a rich and diverse amount of

wildlife and an evening walk out can reveal fantastic

Little Owls, the piercing call of the Curlew, or shrill cry

of the Oyster Catcher.

I hope in reading this you might be encouraged to

connect with nature, to go back to your deep roots

as part of nature. Happy wanderings.

Ever

wondered

why when

you book a

hotel,

You ask for

a room with

a sea-view?

Over the years it has become apparent to

me that many service personnel suffer

difficult childhoods and then carry that

burden in silence, as did I, into adulthood.

Stigma is as much internally generated as

placed upon us as we seek to fit in with our

newfound military family. Joining the RAF

Regiment in 1986, I soon found myself

living within a remarkably close, but also

unforgiving culture, where weakness of any

kind was both frowned

upon and dealt with

mercilessly.

This environment

and deployments to

Northern Ireland and

beyond reinforced

perceptions that

people were generally

out to get me.

This notion was

proven on a regular

basis not just through

unfolding events,

but also through the

Constant stress I experienced, believing my

next step was the one that would trigger an

IED, or the next corner turned was the one

that got me shot and killed.

I was also forced to face some

uncomfortable truths during traumatic

incidents that reinforced the anxieties I lived

with and added guilt, and sometimes

shame, to the emotional mix. I carried a

heady mix of hopelessness, anger and

depression around in silence because I was

not able to talk about what I was

experiencing.

SPOTLIGHT – MARK BOTTRILL

RAF TIME TO CHANGE – THE POWER OF

TALK: BREAKING THE STIGMA

Sept 2021 7

What conversations make you feel a bit

embarrassed? Downright uncomfortable?

Are they connected maybe to talking to your

child about the birds and the bees? Are they

perhaps linked to unfashionable guilty

pleasures (I know someone reading this is a

fan of the ‘pop’ band Steps – you know who

you are), or maybe even personal interests

that you think people will judge you on –

trains for me but don’t tell anyone!

The reality of our lives is

that we are subject to

norms of behaviour

that include what we

say.. or don’t.

Arguably this Is even

more so in the military.

But what does this

mean when you

struggle with poor

mental health?

Well for me, that reality

started in childhood.

Subject to an emotionally

and physically abusive home situation,

speaking out was never going to be an

option for a multitude of reasons so staying

tight-lipped became a survival mechanism.

Escaping my upbringing by joining the RAF

provided a great opportunity to escape but

even negotiating the entry process required

a keen understanding of what could be said

if I wanted to be accepted into the fold. I

maintained my silence unaware that I was

already carrying the foundations of what

would eventually become Complex PTSD.

Sept 2021 8

On the outside it looked like life was great,

but I lived in torment for a little over 30

years, hiding this reality from friends and

colleagues as I commissioned and

continued my career. I didn’t talk because I

felt I couldn’t. What would people think?

Would I get kicked out of the RAF? How

could I get on in my career if I was off

‘basket weaving’ or on a ‘rubber-gun’ chit! I

suspect that many folks feel these same

pressures to this day.

Eventually, I couldn’t go on and with suicidal

thoughts a constant companion, I had to

seek support and was lucky to be treated by

a couple of fantastic DCMH therapists who

soon had me on the way to recovery.

As things got better, I felt able to start

talking about my experiences and to my

surprise, talking about my situation elicited

positive responses from my workmates,

some of whom needed support themselves.

I was able to discuss their situation, provide

observations from my own experiences, and

ultimately signpost them to professional

help if that’s what they wanted .

SPOTLIGHT CONTINUED

It became obvious that the stifling power of

silence was quickly curtailed, and the stigma

they experienced evaporated as we talked.

Off the back of this understanding I became

involved in the RAF Time to Change

Network and have continued to see further

evidence that talking about issues as

difficult as Mental Health can have a

positive effect on those still suffering in

silence – see (hear) it to be it!

I’m immensely proud I had the courage

(with support from family) to challenge both

my demons and the stigma that kept them

flourishing, and now take pride in

highlighting how talking can help to open

doors for those struggling on in silence. We

can all make a difference. Normalising

discussion of Mental Health issues is one

way of doing this and I urge all of you

reading this article to help in that endeavour.

Now, who’s up for a long, very boring chat

about trains......Anyone?

We at the RAFMHN believe the best

approach is to seek help early on.

The RAF TTC network formed in July 2020, simply due to an email going out across all of the RAF

asking if anyone was interested in being part of a group that was willing to speak openly. The initial

response was significant, and the membership and maturity of the network has only increased since

then with over 15 people regularly telling their stories to RAF-wide audiences, and many more

making differences in their home units.

The main principles about the group are:

•As members we commit to speaking openly about Mental Health, to address stigma.

•We are a self-sustaining network, with the network run by the members.

•We are a supportive environment, where members support each other in telling our stories.

•Members only do as much as they are comfortable with; they only tell the parts of the stories they

want to share and only tell these stories at the level they feel comfortable with.

•We are not a welfare organisation, neither are we experts in mental health. However, we are all

experts in our own experiences which is a powerful thing to share!

We are supported, but separate to the RAF MHN Cttee. We are a resource to be called upon by

stations, as well as a team actively pushing for talking opportunities ourselves!

FROM THE LOSS OF A FRIEND… Sept 2021 9

This article contains some upsetting details. Names have not been mentioned

to protect the family’s identity

This is the story about a friend I sadly lost in 2019. As is with military life and the inevitable

postings, you lose contact with people temporarily but, as soon as you see each other again, it’s as

if time never passed. That was the relationship we had.

We joined up around the same time, ending up on phase 2 and 3 together. Always the centre of

attention, making us laugh, he never allowed us to be bored. An infectious passion for football

meant we’d always be persuaded into a kickabout. Without him, my time in training wouldn’t have

been the same.

That same infectious passion for football spread to his family too. A family man, so proud of his

child, looking forward to a life of football with visions of a premiership footballer.

It’d been over a year since I saw him last…Then I got the call. My friend had completed suicide.

Something I never imagined he’d do. The happy-go-lucky guy on shift, always smiling, there were

no signs. He never talked about it. Maybe he felt he couldn’t. I couldn’t believe he was gone. The

feeling of helplessness and guilt engulfed me.

Suicide. Something I never thought I’d experience so personally. The family, friends left behind

wondering: why? How tormented his mind must have been to feel it was his only form of escape.

Could I have done more? Should I have checked in sooner? These questions played on my mind.

To this day, I ask why he didn’t reach out. Why he didn’t call, message, anything. I would have

listened. So many unanswered questions. I cannot begin to fathom what was going through his

mind.

“The call I never expected to get.”

By Bevan & Hatter

…TO THE FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL Sept 2021 10

There is so much I could say, so many things I would love to tell you. For now, here are four ‘tactics’

from my own fight for survival:

1. Sometimes, it’s not our lives that we want to end. It is the life we are currently living that we

want to end. When it all feels overwhelming, question yourself: is it my life I want to end, or is

it life as I know it that I want to end?

2. You must nurse yourself, and be extra gentle towards yourself. An athlete wouldn’t break an

ankle and then force themselves to run on that ankle; they rest, allowing it to heal. They don’t

think “I am a failed athlete”, they think “right now I am injured, so I’ll take care of myself until I

am healed”. Just like a broken bone, suicidal thoughts will change the way your daily life plays

out, and pushing yourself too hard, getting frustrated when you don’t feel better, is just like

trying to run on that broken ankle and getting frustrated when it doesn’t heal. Remember, there

is no time limit on healing, take as much time as you need.

3. Your emotions are real. They deserve to be validated. But they don’t deserve to be identified

with. For example, if I’m feeling depressed I deserve to admit that I’m feeling depressed, I

deserve to recognise it, but depression doesn’t deserve me saying I identify with it. I’m not

depressed. I might feel it, that’s not what I am.

4. Work on yourself. You are the greatest project you will ever work on. Enjoy the small things.

When you have walked through the darkness of this world, you are able to see even a sliver of

light. Whilst I would not wish these thoughts/feelings upon anyone; whilst it may not feel like it

right now; what you are going through will make you a better person. Someone whom others

will be blessed to call their friend.

If you ever find yourself in that place, remember, there is always a friend, family

member, professional, someone who is willing to listen to you. You are not a

burden. Fragile egos must become a thing of the past. We need to start talking.

We need to look out for each other, recognise warning signs and look for

changes in behaviour. If you feel someone you know is suicidal, then you can

play a role in suicide prevention. We are in this together, all of us, and we need

to have each other’s backs, especially the backs of those who are finding the

weight of this world too much right now.

RAF Mental Health Network MS Teams Site

RAF Health And Well-Being Portal

Samaritans

Togetherall

Combat Stress

RAF Association

RAF Benevolent Fund

RAF Families Federation

Campaign Against Living Miserably

HeadFIT

Have you got

a story to

share?

Do you want to share

your story?

Do you have an event

coming up?

Do you have some

useful info you want to

share? To be featured in

future editions please

email:

Chris

USEFUL LINKS CREDITSEditor: Chris Nance

Cover Artwork: Emily Altass

Contributors:

- RAF Sport & Frank Tinsley

- Shaun Griffin

- Mark Bottrill

- Bevan & Hatter

Employee Assistance Programme (EAP)