Table of ContentsChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 7Chapter 8Chapter 9Chapter 10Chapter 11Chapter 12Chapter 13Chapter 14Chapter 15

Chapter 16Chapter 17Chapter 18Acknowledgements:About the Author

by Amanda Lance

http://amandalance.com/

WantedCopyright © 2013 by Amanda Lance. Allrights reserved.

Limitless Publishing, LLCKailua, HI 96734http://www.limitlesspublishing.comFirst Kindle Edition: April 2013 Editor: Toni RakestrawCover Design: Eden Crane DesignsFormatting: Streetlight Graphics

This eBook is licensed for the personalenjoyment of the original purchaser only.This eBook may not be resold or givenaway to other people. If you would like toshare this book with another person,please purchase an additional copy foreach recipient. If you are reading thiseBook and did not purchase it, or it wasnot purchased for your use only, thenplease return to Amazon.com andpurchase your own copy. Thank you forrespecting the hard work of this author. This is a work of fiction. Names,characters, places, and incidents either arethe product of the author’s imagination or

are used fictitiously, and any resemblanceto locales, events, businessestablishments, or actual persons—livingor dead—is entirely coincidental.

To all of my imaginary friends.

“So farewell hope, and with hopefarewell fear, Farewell remorse; allgood to me is lost. Evil, be thou my

good.”

Paradise Lost, Book IV, Lines 108-110

D

Chapter 1

id you know 30,000 people arekidnapped around the world every year?

Ironically, part of the reason I waskidnapped had to do with the search forquality family time. In truth, there was no

need for us to drop Robbie off at the armybase. We all knew he could have acceptedan offer from one of his buddies to catch aride with them. He could have even takena bus if he wanted. I think Dad must havethought the short road trip was anopportunity to savor some of those sitcomfamily-style moments together. Althoughhe wouldn’t admit it, I suspected he wasafraid it was the last time we would all betogether. Granted, none of us thought Iwould be the one in mortal peril.

As we drove to Fort Drum, Robbieand I took the immense opportunity totease Dad about his growing sentiments. “Ibet you weren’t this emotional when you

fought in Desert Storm, Old Man,” Robbietaunted.

“Now, now Robbie.” I had put themarker in my book and kicked the back ofhis seat. “That’s disrespectful. You knowDad prefers to be called Sir Gray Hair.Or,” I corrected myself, “He-with-the-Fuzzy-Inner-Ears.”

Robbie laughed his Robbie laugh.“Mr. Receding Hairline.”

Dad laughed. “You kids are just luckyI can hold my temper.”

When Robbie embraced him that lasttime at the entrance gate, Robbie repeatedhis “if you were me” argument once more.Through the entire sham of their debate, I

watched the sun lowering as cadetsbrought in the various flags for the evening—the gold and pink commanding astronghold over the sky and everythingbeneath it. Perhaps I should have beenplaying referee as Mom would have doneand as I had been doing since her absence,but at this juncture, their arguments servedless purpose than usual. Still, I thoughtmaybe it was better for them to say it allout loud than have it be left unsaid.

“I’m going to live my life the way Iwant to,” Robbie said.

“You were lucky to make it throughthere once, it might not happen again.”

“You can’t expect me to just leave my

friends out there while I stay here—”“I expect you to stay safe.”Once they wore themselves out, we

all engaged in the family tradition ofsubstituting the seriousness of the situationwith humor.

“If you were me, you’d be doing thesame thing, Old Man.”

“If I were you, I would have joinedthe Corps … sissy.”

As Robbie and I said our farewells,he gave me one of those awkward siblinghugs that we usually only saved forholidays or tragedy.

“Take care of yourself, Addie.”“I always do.”

He sighed. “Sometimes that mightmean not taking care of everybody else.”

I just laughed at him. “You can lectureme when you get home … sissy.”

Dad and I got back in the car and Iimmediately began fiddling with the radioto avoid that narrow silence that settledbetween us. Even after we pulled backonto the freeway, it continued for miles,long into the evening hours until the localradio stations fizzled out and I had tochange them to other, unfamiliar ones.

Without music to distract me, my mindbegan trailing back to when Mom first gotsick. Despite the politics, I was proud ofRobbie for joining the army. It was

something he had mentioned long beforeMom’s cancer and remained eager aboutdespite our parents’ protests.

Mom’s illness was a primeopportunity for exit.

“You can’t just leave when things getbad,” I said to Robbie.

“I can’t stay here, Addie. Not likethis.”

In time, I could see his point. On somelevel, I even envied his ability to get awayso easily. Mom needed more care than shewould admit, and once she was gone, Dadneeded more time and attention than a kid.Treatment could offer Mom more time, yetit wouldn’t be with the Mom we knew.

When offered her options, Mom hadlaughed what remained of her laugh.“Thanks, but another couple months ofthis? I think I’d rather eat my husband’scooking. Or my son’s, for that matter …”

It was only a few weeks later that shewas on her deathbed, telling me she lovedme, and teasing me because my socksdidn’t match.

But now I slipped my feet out of mysandals and tried to stretch, tried todaydream, tried not to worry about my bigbrother.

“Get your feet off the dash, Addie. Idon’t want them to scuff the glove box.”

Reluctantly, I let my feet slide down

back into my shoes, my legs alreadymissing the stretch the tall consoleprovided.

All around us, the meandering treesand woods seemed to suffocate us, and yetahead was a clear, outstretched highwaythat promised freedom if you only stayedthe course. I rolled down the window andfelt my fingers dance against the wind.Briefly, I considered what it would belike to feel my whole body out there.

“How much longer until we get to theexit?” I asked.

Dad sighed. “Maybe an hour. Thataccident back there took us off route byforty-two miles. Just be patient, Addie.”

I smiled and flipped my sunglassesback on. Looking at the night through thedark lens was strange but not entirelyunpleasant. If nothing else, they blockedout some of the brighter headlights comingfrom the opposite direction. I turned myattention back to Dad. There were veryfew things Dad hated more in life thanfalling off course. It was easy to see hewas annoyed at having to drive at night,having refused my offer to take the wheel.

“I’m really just concerned for you,Old Man. I know senior citizens run strictschedules for themselves. If we don’t gethome by eleven, you might miss out on arerun of Green Acres.”

Finally, he smiled. “Watch it, Missy.”He tugged on my ponytail playfully. “I’llgive you something to be concernedabout.”

I laughed. “You’re just crankybecause you haven’t had your Metamuciltoday.”

Dad laughed at the old joke, but it wasa tired, forced laugh, more for my sakethan anything else.

In return, I pretended not to notice theartifice in his demeanor. It was like agame of charades that I almost always lethim or Robbie win. It was obvious histhoughts were still at Fort Drum withRobbie—but I wasn’t going to call him

out on his right to worry.In my own way, I had attempted to

make it up to him a few months earlier byfinishing high school. Granted, anuneventful occasion for a homeschooledkid, but it seemed to make him happy for aminute. And while Dad buried himself inwork projects, I threw myself into mystudies as a college freshman. Usually wemet at dinner or somewhere in-between.

“It seems like he just got home,” Dadsaid suddenly.

It was getting harder for me to staypositive. “Then just think of how fast timewill fly until he comes home again.” Mysmile felt fake and it made me feel like a

liar.Dad laughed again. “What would I do

without you, Addie?”“Phh! Starve to death, run out of clean

clothes, never get the car serviced.”He mockingly bowed to me. “Yes,

Daughter, you are exceptionallyimportant.”

I feigned a curtsy. “Why thank you,Father, it is so nice to be appreciated.”

We stayed silent for a long time. Thiswas one of those many moments where Iwas wishing I knew more about sports oraccounting errors or anything else Dadwas interested in just to keep aconversation going. When Robbie first

left, Dad would frequently spend his sparetime pacing the hallways or working onthings in the yard, just for the sake ofkeeping occupied. We were like that in asense. To avoid thinking we put ourselvesto work. But while his arena was hisoffice, mine was the thick stacks of bookin the library.

I leaned back and looked at myselfover in the side-view mirrors, my hairwas a thick, blonde mess— much likeMom’s had been before the chemotherapy.And although my features weresymmetrical, I always thought my nosewas a little too sharp for my face. My eyeswere also as green as Mom’s had been,

with that same almond shape I wasoccasionally complimented about.

Other than that, I was more ordinarythan anything else. For whatever geneticreason, I wasn’t long and lean like myparents. Instead, I was petite with asimple frame. If I had cared or put enougheffort into it, maybe I could have been adancer, but the motivation never came tome.

I wrapped my wrists aroundthemselves until I heard the dull pop of thejoints. We had only been driving for threehours, but already I could feel theheaviness of the long ride setting into mybody.

Intentionally, I put my feet back up onthe dash. Dad saw me out of the corner ofhis eye, but he didn’t say anything. Imoaned dramatically and slithered as fardown into my seat as my seatbelt wouldallow. Twisting side to side, I cracked myback until there was no sound left. For amoment, I thought I saw Dad smile, but Iwasn’t certain. I put my feet down andsighed loudly.

“Yep, I sure miss those days when Icould feel my limbs.”

I sighed again and almost burst outlaughing, but contained myself. I startedplaying with the power seating instead.

“Dad? Dad? Dad?” Skating back and

forth on the chair’s axis, I began to chantlike a mosquito in his ear. “Hey Dad,maybe we could make a stop? Dad? Hey,Dad? Dad? Dad?” He was pretending notto hear me.

“Dad, my leg’s asleep, I can’t feelspine, I must stretch properly.” I reachedout to him like I had seen so many dyingheroes do in the westerns he liked.Although he still pretended not to see, hesmiled.

“We’re not scheduled for a stop.”“Oh. Come. On!” I leaned over and

glanced at the gauges. “There’s less thanhalf a tank left, and it’s better to fill upnow than before it’s too late.”

He glanced at me with a furrowedbrow that told me I had won. It wasalready past nine, and like any practicalparent, Dad wasn’t particularly fond ofgas stations after dark.

“Fine, but only because I needcoffee.”

I turned my head so he wouldn’t seemy victory smile.

“And keep those feet off the dash.”

The next exit promised a taxpayer-funded rest stop as well as a gas stationand a convenience store attached to aconglomerate of fast-food bistroscompacted together. We pulled into the

singular entryway only to crawl aroundthe parking lot, attempting to look for anyopen spot. As we did so, it was difficultto ignore the trash blowing aroundeverywhere and the numerous people whodidn’t seem to care where they let theirpets relieve themselves or where they lettheir children run.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and securedmy sling bag across my chest. “Yikes.”

Dad rotated his neck and sighed.“Okay, forget about the parking. Howabout you grab us some drinks while I fuelup?” He reached into his back pocket forhis wallet.

“I’ll get extra caffeine for you.” I

leaned over and kissed him on the cheekbefore hopping out.

People all around us were honkingand yelling. “You have your phone on,right?” I asked.

“Yes, Daughter.”“Okay, Father.” I laughed.Dad stuck his head out the open

window and shouted at the van behindhim. “I’m going already!”

I hustled away to avoid the horns anddirty looks that were coming in mydirection. The summer was all but over,so I was surprised there were still somany kids running in and out of the mainentrance, or that there were so many

people there at all. Luckily, the crowdsweren’t that difficult to navigate. I dodgedhordes of babbling middle-aged women asthey shopped for trinkets and used every‘excuse me’ and ‘pardon me’ I had tonavigate through the group of confusedexchange students standing in the middleof the foyer. A toddler with a runny nosecollided into my legs. He looked up at mewith bloodshot eyes for a moment before alarge woman grabbed his wrist andyanked him away.

I decided to use the restroom beforegetting in line at the coffee shop, knowingfull well that Dad would be vehementabout not making another stop after this

one. I almost took a moment to brush outand fix my ponytail but remembered thetired Dad who was probably alreadywaiting for me in the car, so I decided toskip it. Even as I glanced around, I felt anincredible urge to get out of the stuffyrestroom that was being bombarded by allof those girls and women—I felt anoverwhelming urge to escape. Anautomatic dryer blew in my face as I gavethe door a violent shove. Despite the heatthe machine gave off, I felt myself shiver,a feeling of foreboding coming over me.

I continued to avoid the crowds until Isaw the neon coffee cup that indicated myintended destination. The long line was

discouraging, but things seemed to bemoving quickly enough, so I tried to keepmy frustration in check. To occupy myself,I opened up my bag and withdrew themodest-sized coffee-table book on DaVinci that I had been browsing through inmy spare time. In the last several days, Ihad grown particularly fond of some of hisunfinished pieces from the 1400’s. To methey seemed mysterious and exotic. Ifrequently liked to envision how theywould have turned out if he had finishedthem.

“Did you know the Vitruvian Man wasnamed after General Marcus Vitruvian?It’s s’posed to be ‘bout balance in man

and all that.”The sound of another person’s voice

so close to my ear startled me. I think Imust have given myself away with myreaction because the voice started to laugha little.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” said the voice.“Didn’t mean to scare you.”

When I turned, what I saw was morethan surprising. While I had been admiringthe fine lines of Da Vinci’s self-portraits,I hadn’t noticed the line growing behindme. In particular, I hadn’t noticed theindividual standing directly behind me. Hewas a man some years older than me,although I couldn’t have immediately

guessed through the large aviatorsunglasses he was wearing. It was onlythe very subtle creases around his mouththat actually gave him away as being anyolder than me. Even then, however, I hadto second guess that theory when I saw thecigarette behind his left ear, where lush,dark hair was slicked from his brow to hisneckline. His neck and shoulders wereburied deep in the folds of a denim jacket,and his hands were firmly tucked in hisjacket pockets.

If I had been thinking properly insteadof concentrating on the untraditionallyhandsome man behind me, I would havenoticed how strange it seemed—the

unusual choice in wardrobe for the humidninety-degree heat.

But no alarm bells went off—at leastnot then. For the moment I waspreoccupied with the exceptional line ofhis jaw and the ideal brow above hissunglasses. I found myself wonderingwhat color his eyes were, and if theywould be different under this fluorescentlight than in the sunlight.

I actually had to remind myself toblink. “Yikes.”

“Huh?”Hearing his voice again brought me

back to myself. “You didn’t scare me.” Iturned back around so he wouldn’t see me

blushing; I hoped it wouldn’t spread to thebare flesh of my shoulders and cursedmyself for not wearing a t-shirt instead ofa tank top. I closed my eyes and counted toten, willing the line to move faster. Behindme, I heard the distinct sound of maleshoes shuffling around. Was that aSouthern accent I had heard?

I put Da Vinci away and kept my eyesstraight ahead, trying now to focus onanything and everything but the personbehind me. But as the seconds ticked by,my heart started thumping in my chest likea caged rabbit, and the enormous buildingseemed far too small. Was this thecraziness so many other girls had for

boys? I felt myself blushing again when Ithought of the stories my bunkmates usedto tell at summer camp. And yet the personstanding behind me was very clearly pasthis boyhood—

“You all right?”His voice was so close to my ear

again it nearly knocked me over. It wasstrangely soft, a sort of whisper. I almost Ithought I had imagined it. Just the way itstartled me forced me to turn again.

“You look like you’re gonna fallover.”

At least I managed my tied tongue. “I-um, just seriously need coffee.”

He seemed amused by my response

and smiled for a second. I was gratefulthat I didn’t make a complete idiot out ofmyself. Still, seeing him smile at me didnothing to slow down my wild heart.

I think I felt his eyes on me for a fewmore seconds before I heard a phone ring.By the sound of his Southern accentresponding, it must have been his.

“What?”After a few more seconds, I heard him

speak again.“Yeah, I got it.”I heard shoes scuffling away, but I

didn’t have to turn around to know he wasgone.

“Can I help you?”

“Huh? What?”“What do you want, Miss?” An angry

cashier rolled her eyes at me. I couldn’thonestly blame her; I hadn’t even realizedI was the customer next in line. But for thesake of my own sanity and just to reassuremy self-consciousness, I looked behindme. Sure enough, the mystery man wasgone. I decided it was just as well.Someone like that and the caffeine couldhave easily given me a heart attack.

G

Chapter 2

etting the condiments for the coffeereminded me of the solitary occasionwhen Mom and I went shopping the dayafter Thanksgiving. I saw two olderwomen fighting over the last artificial

sweetener and a man yelling in French to acashier about the milk being too warm.Another man was demanding a free refillbecause someone had knocked his over.Meanwhile one woman furiouslydemanded to know if the muffins wereorganic or not.

To avoid the chaos, I made theexecutive decision that Dad and I wouldjust have our coffee black and proceededto the exit. At the main entryway,however, two of the janitorial staffgathered with mops and industrialCaution: Wet Floor signs while a motherheld a crying child and apologizedprofusely about some expelled fluids. I

cringed at both the sight and smell andstarted walking over towards the sidedoor I had seen in the cafeteria, butquickly changed my mind when I saw aphysically disabled senior citizen andtheir wheelchair being assisted into apower lift attached to the automatic door. Ibit my lip and tried to look absentmindedas I sipped my coffee.

Maybe Dad was right and I needed tobe more patient. Yet as much as I hated tobe rude, I also felt increasingly guiltyabout making Dad wait for me. I reviewedmy options. Looking around, I could seethat most of the eateries had separateentrances and exits, but I’d have to get

back into the herds just to get back out,and that didn’t make much sense. I tappedmy foot impatiently and began counting theseconds until the entrance ways wereclear when I saw two of the conveniencestore employees veering toward the backof the building. When I stepped up closer,I could see the red neon of EXIT blaringjust above the door. The two began takingoff their red aprons and one employeehanded a cigarette to another. I followedthe two from a distance as they pushed thelarge door open. In the distance, I couldsee the smoke of their cigarettes and mothsdancing around the street lamps of theparking lot.

I sighed with irritation. If I wasannoyed, I could only imagine howagitated Dad was going to be. I opened theheavy metal latch and was greeted by thehumid August air. I inhaled it deeply andtried not to think about the mysterious manin line. Why would he just walk away likethat? Sure, there were a million differentreasons, but it still nagged at me to knowwhy. I tried to shove the potentialexplanations away. Plenty of time fordaydreaming on the way home, I toldmyself.

I set the coffee next to me on anupward groove of pavement and took myphone out of my bag. Despite the dark,

there was still enough light from the lampsof the parking lot that I didn’t have a hardtime rummaging around for it. I realizedquickly that unlike where we first pulledin, this section of the lot seemed reservedfor truck drivers and was fairly deserted. Ijumped up on a torn piece of curb to catcha better look, and sure enough, there wereonly trucks and charter buses as far as Icould see.

As I was dialing Dad’s number, Iheard a noise that almost made me lose mybalance. It was a wet sort of sound, onlylasting a few seconds, but still, itfrightened me enough that I had to wrapmy arms around myself when it ruptured

my ears. The echo of it seemed tounwillingly puncture the calm lot andfracture the night itself.

“Hello?” I calledAll was silent. I laughed at myself.

Reasonably, it was probably a cat thatcaught a mouse or some other unfairdemonstration of nature. But then the noisehappened again, only this time it waslouder and ended with a mostdistinguished pop.

Even thinking logically, the soundsfrightened me, and the peculiarity of it hadme thinking that something was terriblywrong or that someone might be hurt.What if someone was injured and couldn’t

call out for help? I looked back to the busyside of the parking lot where Dad waswaiting for me somewhere. I had been asquick as possible in the rest stop forDad’s sake. Hopefully taking a minute togander around now wouldn’t bother him.

I tried to make my voice seem louderand more confident. “Hello?”

I stepped past the curb and straightinto the lot. I walked slowly and with theprecision of a hunter. Only unlike a hunter,I had no idea what I was looking for andno weaponry.

I took a few steps past the shiny cab ofa tractor-trailer and looked just beyondthe edge of an enormous semi-trailer. With

every step I took I attempted to bestealthier. I couldn’t see or hear any signsof trouble—let alone anyone needing help.Still, the eerie feeling remained with meand stuck in my gullet, making my stomachchurn. However, my curiosity was stilldominating my sense of self-preservation,and I was still sure that if someone was indanger, it certainly wasn’t me. I clutchedmy phone as though it were a belovedfriend, only now noticing my sweatypalms. I laughed again and wiped them onmy shorts. It was obvious I was just tired,and my imagination was overloaded fromworry.

I walked through the same way I

came, regretting having left my coffeebehind. I made the resolution that I wouldcut back on the mystery novels, swearingoff Hitchcock and Stephen King for awhile. Still, I felt relieved I had beenwrong about someone needing help orbeing hurt. I walked through the lot,wondering what other genres might beover-stimulating my brain, when I saw anabrupt flash of bright light.

“Hello?”I figured it was just a set of

headlights, another family looking for aparking spot—maybe it was Dad lookingfor me. I kept trying to reassure myself byglancing down at my phone. Sure enough, I

had one new message. But while I waschecking its contents, I must have taken awrong turn somewhere as I started torealize the semi-trailers that surroundedme were unfamiliar. The nervousness Ifelt increased and a new tightness began inmy chest, suddenly making it dreadfullydifficult to breathe. I almost wanted tolaugh; how clichéd was it that I had gottenlost in such a short amount of time?Figuring it would lead to the parking lot Icame from, I followed the direction of theheadlights and turned the corner.

It wasn’t headlights, however. For thelongest time I really, truly wished it hadjust been headlights. Instead, the light was

coming from a flashlight at the end of atractor-trailer. It was hard to see who washolding it, but the holder kept shining it onseveral figures who were removing largecrates from the back of the truck.

“Hurry it the hell up!” A man’s voicewhispered.

Another man’s voice said somethingin a language I didn’t understand.

In just a few short moments, the menworked together to load the crates intotwo SUVs and another small truck. Withan almost perverse fascination, I watchedthe gracefulness of the figures as theylabored. It was a stage play featuring darksilhouettes that didn’t seem to know they

were dancing. I nearly forgot my fear inthe confident speed with which theyworked, until the figure holding theflashlight left the light on two of the menlifting a particularly large crate togetherfor enough seconds for me to see thehandgun on one of their belt buckles. Myheart leapt into my throat so aggressivelyit felt as though it were trying to escapemy body completely. I could no longerhear anything but the sound of it beating itmy ears.

I didn’t know anything about thecriminal underworld, but common sensetold me that guns were bad and shadydoings in the night were extra bad. An

instant kind of terror overcame me thatmade me gasp out loud without realizing itand I had to cover my mouth. The urge toflee was instant. This place wasn’t forpeople like me. I began to back away asquietly as I could.

But then arms grabbed me and a handwent over my mouth. The arms pulled meright off the ground, their strength capableof keeping my own at my sides eventhough I thrashed and struggled. The armscouldn’t keep my legs though, and I usedthis advantage with everything I had,kicking at everything and anything.

Ultimately however, it didn’t do anygood. My last logical defense was to

throw my head back. Only unlike what yousee in the movies, head butting someone isextremely painful. And when I felt myhead contact with that object, it wasactually so painful I thought: This is it.I’ve been shot and I’m going to die. I’mdying. I began to scream with a shrill,piercing quality, muffled as it was throughthe hand. Unfortunately, this onlyincreased the pain and confirmed mysuspicion of impending death.

A mess of thoughts came to me. Ibegan thinking about all of the immediateevents in my life and how they would bestolen from me. I’ll never get to finish thatbook. Will Robbie go back to Iraq? I’ll

never get to travel. But above all, I keptthinking about that stupid coffee. I’ll neverget to give Dad that coffee he needed somuch. He’ll be so disappointed.

“Shut up or I’ll kill ya.”The words came in with a subtle

southern accent and the scent of aftershaveand clove cigarettes.

Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill? Kill?It echoed through my head as though

my mind were empty of any other thought.I felt myself start to shake and my torsowent limp. My arms were practicallyglued to my sides, but I started to wish forfake fingernails to scratch with, or maybepepper spray. Why hadn’t I ever taken

self-defense courses?Voices were shouting back and forth

to each other, although where exactly theywere coming from I couldn’t be sure.Abruptly I was pulled away. The armswere dragging me from the pavement andtoward one of the SUVs. The panic set inthen, and I began kicking harder, tried toscream even louder, telling myself thatstatistically, if I didn’t get away now, Inever would. Hot tears ran down my face,and I screamed in my head for help as ifsomeone could hear me.

The flashlight blinked out and anengine began to roar. Everything was darkuntil my eyes adjusted, so I never saw the

cargo door of the SUV open or where thebungee cords came from. The armsreleased me into the backseat with severalcrates. I instantly lunged to run from them,but he pushed me back down before Icould let out a scream or do much else butslap at him.

As easy as batting a gnat, he took bothmy wrists in his single hand and boundthem in the bungees, then did the same tomy ankles, using a separate cord. In lessthan a minute, I was hogtied. I blinkedback the tears and felt the mucus pool inmy throat. Poor Dad. He would makeanother stop to get himself some coffee,right? It wasn’t likely he would fall asleep

at the wheel or anything, but it would bebetter if he had some caffeine in him. Iwas filled with self-loathing as I struggledagainst the binds. Why hadn’t I justwalked away when I had the chance?

I felt distinct calluses on the hand thatput the tape on my mouth. Were these thehands that would kill me? I looked into theface of the mystery man who had turnedmy heart into a caged animal, nowwondering, what would he do to make myheart stop?

I made myself concentrate.It was as though I were taking the SAT

again and sitting in a classroom with two

dozen other overworked teenagers. I wasnow reminded of the stuffiness of some ofthose classrooms and the tiny wedges ofthose desks. Cramped and herded intosuch a tiny space, I remember feelinggrateful for being homeschooled,imagining being incapable of going toschool like that my entire childhood. But Ihad gotten through it and even thrivedbecause I had concentrated—I just had todo that now. So I closed my eyes andbreathed, which was considerablydifficult through the tears.

There were two? No, three differentdoors opening. Obviously the driver’sside had to be one of them, and both of the

passenger-side doors. The weight of theSUV shifted to my left when someoneentered from that side and sweat quicklyfilled the air. It terrified me when Irealized I was the only female in thevehicle. The reality of it was almost toomuch to handle.

The SUV began moving. The enginewas so quiet I only realized it from theway a crate shifted against me, forcing myhead into an unnatural angle. When did Istart to move away? Why hadn’t Dadfound me yet? Briefly, I thought about myphone and naturally went to reach for it. Ithrashed against the bungees and wincedas they pulled on my skin.

The voices upfront were whispering,arguing about something I didn’tunderstand. My palms searched forsomething to clamp onto, something todefend myself with, or a way to get myselfout of there. But all I felt was the coldmetal of the cargo door and what I thoughtmight be the frame of a crate. Headlightsflew past the SUV’s windows as thedriver accelerated. I cringed and dug mynail into my palm. Even if the cargoseating didn’t have a safety latch, thevehicle was moving way too fast for me toroll out with any hope of safety.

The arguing was getting louder.“When are we supposed to do that?”

A second voice laughed bitterly.“Yeah, we don’t exactly have a lot of freetime on our hands.”

My ears tuned-in to the conversationand I tried to turn my head to see beyondthe seat. All I could really see, though,was the brief flare of a lighter or a matchand the lights of the freeway overhead.

“Just gimme one goddamn minute tothink.” I stiffened in the cargo seat when Iheard the voice of the mystery man.

“You’re going to get us all screwed,”said the first voice.

I flinched when I heard the leatherdisturbed and the loud sound of slapping.The second man began laughing again, and

it took me a moment to realize someonehad just gotten hit.

“I’m helpin’ is what I’m doing.You’re lucky everybody in the state didn’tcome over when you got rid of that truckdriver.”

I saw another flame and this time itwas followed by the smell of the clovecigarettes.

The second man spoke up. “Hey, hey,hey! He’s got a point, Wally, and it couldbe a lot worse.”

When I lowered my eyes, I thought Isaw the shadow of a hand slap someone’sback, but I couldn’t be sure. The words‘got rid of’ were going off in my head like

cartoon bombs, and for a moment, Ithought I might be sick.

“Thanks for the optimism, Polo.”“Hey, Wally? Wally? Wasn’t that

driver a connection of yours? What didyou go and lose that guy for, anyway?” thesecond man asked.

“‘Cause he’s a damn fool.”“To hell with you both! That greedy

bastard wanted more money, a biggerpercentage next time for less merchandise.Bottom line is we had a problem, so I tookcare of it.”

“Yeah,” said the mystery man. “Nowwe got a bigger problem.”

The one they called Polo laughed and

the first man joined in. “Ain’t noproblem,” he said. “I’ll take care of that,too.”

I saw another flame and this time Icould easily smell sulfur. I gagged at thestench and began to cough. Between thetears, mucus pooling in my sinuses andlack of air available, I was no longercapable of breathing properly. Fear tookover. Even though I commanded myself toinhale and exhale normally, I failedmiserably and my head began to ripplelike waves. Out of the corner of my eye Isaw him look back at me, but it was onlyfor the briefest of moments. I heard a deepexhalation of breath, then a button clicked,

and I felt an eruption of wind blast myneck and shoulders. Within a minute ortwo, my chest stopped hurting so much andmy heartbeat somewhat returned tonormal.

Straightaway, I started counting thefreeway lights in my head to calm myselfdown. I just had to get through this momentso I could make it to the next. Each time Igot to one-hundred, I stopped and startedover. One-hundred was a number I oftenfelt comfortable counting to when I wasupset. I think maybe repeating the actionover and over tired out my brain enoughso I couldn’t cry anymore. My eyes feltlike burning coals in the back of my head;

the mystery man and the ones identified asWally and Polo had stopped their banter,leaving the vehicle in silence.

My limbs went heavy against thecumbersome crates and began to tingle intheir awkward positions. I had to close myeyes as the wind blurred my vision.Somehow, despite my fear and impendingdoom, I felt myself fading into the cool ofthe summer night.

“H

Chapter 3

ey! Hey, guys! Look! She died fromfright!” Polo was laughing again.

I kept my eyes shut and remained asstill as I could manage. How long had Ibeen asleep? More importantly, where

was I? I had dreamed of dark caves anddrowning in water I couldn’t see. I musthave awoken while the engine wasslowing down, the change in movementjolting me awake. I scolded myself for notkeeping track of how far I’d been taken.Why didn’t I think to count the turns orlook for exit signs? Tears threatening towell up in my throat, but when the engineshut off, I willed myself to stop. If theSUV stopped, that meant I had anopportunity for escape. And while Icouldn’t exactly run away, I could at leasttry and attract attention to myself, leadingto a potential rescue.

Although I couldn’t see them, I could

feel sets of eyes on me. The doorsslammed again. I prayed I was at anothertruck stop or anywhere that might be well-populated by human life. Like a rabbit in atrap, my heart was thumping mercilessly. Icould hear the shuffling of shoes on graveland the flare of a lighter being lit, but Istill made myself keep my eyes shut.Slowly, as though time was being pushedbackward instead of forward, I heard thecargo door beep and felt a breeze of freshair invade the small space.

I blinked; my eyes stung against thebrightness of day. I discovered new levelsof self-hatred for sleeping so long. Howhad I slept for so many hours when I

should have been trying to escape? Ipushed my way past the man standing infront of me, no longer caring if I harmedhim in any way. I only wanted to get as faraway as possible. My arms and legs werestiff and my torso felt tingly from beingcramped so long, but I managed to thrashpast the mystery man and onto the crushedgravel. My shoes were missing. I reacheddown to rub my feet. Someone swore, andI think Polo started laughing. I straightenedup and kept going. Another hop and myponytail came loose from the tie, my haircascading around me like a blondecurtain.

The seconds were painfully slow. In

reality, I only made it two or three stepsaway from the SUV before the mysteryman’s arms closed around my torso and heeffortlessly tossed me over his shoulder.

I flailed my arms, hitting him as bestas I could, thinking back to the few times Ihad attempted to lift free weights withRobbie. If I had stuck with it, I might havebeen able to defend myself better. Now,every ounce in me fought with what feltlike the meaningless efforts of a child.Any remote hope I had of saving myselfbegan to slip away.

“Think you can manage?” I lifted myhead. Wallace smiled. Polo was doubledover in laughter. Behind him, I could see

nothing but hordes of trees and shrubbery.A new fear grew within me and I beganscreaming through the gag.

“Knock it off, already.” The grip ofhis forearm tightened around my knees,making them impossible to move.Steadily, he moved toward my doom.Behind me, I could hear something beingstacked and another vehicle pulling intothe gravel. I screamed and screamed untilI thought the sheer force would make thetape come off my mouth. Maybe someonehad seen something and was coming tohelp—but then I remembered the otherSUV and the small truck. My despairspread, seeping into my organs and

ceasing their ability to function properly.Inside, I was yelling at myself. How I

could have once thought this degeneratewas attractive was beyond me. Whateverhappened to female intuition?

The shadow of a building appearedover us. I could feel the mystery man leanhis weight then heard the swing ofsomething ancient and wooden bouncingback against itself. We entered some kindof old house or barn. The smell of molddust was overwhelming. I screamed formy life. Despite my powerlessness, I hadto do something.

There was very little light in thehouse, but when I tried to look past the

wave of hair over my face, I could seecobwebs in the corners of misshapenfloorboards. Maybe this was where theywere going to kill me and dump my body.It would take awhile before someonewould think to look inside the closet of anabandoned house for a corpse.

I screamed louder.“Holy hell, will you stop that?” He

carried me up a flight of stairs before hefinally put me down on a cold surface.Instantly I sprung up and tried to flingmyself from the floor.

“Take it easy there, Vicious.” Hepulled my wrists to the side of a largemetal object. I strained against him and

continued to scream, but it was as thoughmy actions weren’t even registering—theywere hardly even an inconvenienceagainst his brawn. Somewhere along theline, he had taken off his denim jacket, andI understood now why he wore it.Underneath he had been wearing a holsterwith two small-caliber handguns—something I wouldn’t have noticed in therest stop with the jacket on. Without thecollar of the jacket there to obscure it, Icould see the lines of a large tattoo on theright side of his neck, something Iimagined he was also trying to hide.

Unexpectedly, he reached out a handtoward my face. So here it was. He’d

strangle me to death with one hand, ormaybe he’d smother me. Maybe it wasshock setting in, but, I wasn’t as afraid as Ishould have been. I tried remembering thesteps of grief. Had I bypassed those firstfour stages and gone straight toacceptance? I closed my eyes and tried tothink of something nice, maybe some placefar away.

Yet his hand didn’t reach out to hurtme as I predicted. Instead, it brushed thefalls of hair from my face, even attemptedto place several of the more stubbornstrands behind my left ear.

I don’t know why I expected his faceto be different. I just did. He was a villain

now, after all. He had abducted me againstmy will and would probably kill mebefore the hour was through. But still, hisface was as ruggedly handsome as it hadbeen when I first saw him. All of thefeatures were the same, even moreenhanced now I could examine them atclose range with him kneeling next to me.His expression changed as he took off hisoversized sunglasses—another gesture Ihadn’t expected. I could see very clearlynow the fresh bruise forming between hiseyes and the slight swell of his nose. HadI done that? Good, I decided. I was gladI’d hurt him—even if it had given me asplitting headache.

We glared at each other for momentsthat had no end. His stare was making meangry. If he was going to kill me, why notjust get it over with? I hardly wanted to beogled or have a staring contest.Meanwhile, I ran through the inventory listof known colors in my head to try andplace the palette of his irises. He reachedout once more and again I failed to flinchaway, but this time his thumb touched myface, pulling away an eyelash that hadbeen caked on by my tears. Briefly, Iwondered if it had been with me since therest stop.

A voice called out from somewhere inthe house, pulling him away from some

thought I couldn’t read. He stood up, butonly for a second, because when helooked back down at me, he made sure tosecure the bungees to what I nowrecognized as an old radiator.

“Ain’t nobody gonna hurt you.” Hisvoice was a whisper and he looked overhis shoulder as though we were having anintimate conversation he didn’t wantanyone else to hear. “Just keep quiet.”

I was so angry I would have spit in hisface if I could have.

He stepped out of the room with fourquick strides. As soon as I was somewhatconfident he was gone, I went back tothrashing against the bungees, only now

that I had more room to work with, Iscooted my legs against the radiator andpushed against them for leverage. I shovedagainst the cord with everything I had, butonly felt the material gnawing against myskin. In frustration, I threw my boundhands against the radiator, instantlyregretting it. The metal made my handsache, and the sudden pain spread all theway up to my elbows. It forced me torefocus and take in my surroundings.

Below me, I felt the grime of thelinoleum floor. I imagined it had probablybeen yellow at one point. Now, however,it was a monotone of brownish-grays,covered in an array of large, male shoe

prints. I supposed I was in what used to bea kitchen nook of sorts, although it wasdifficult to tell, as the plastic sections thatused to be pantries had been taken fromtheir hinges and were lying in scatteredpieces on broken sections of countertop.Fixtures, and what I guessed were waterpipes, hung useless below a smallwindow with a torn lace curtain that wasnow brown from years of neglect.

Calm, I told myself, remain calm andthink it through. I knew I’d fit through thesmall window, but judging from theconsistent lack of use, it would probablybe incredibly hard to get open, and even ifI did open it, where would I go from

there? I closed my eyes and tried to thinkbeyond the forest I had seen in front of thehouse. Had I heard any other cars? Werethere any other houses?

Just outside of the window, I tuned into the men’s voices from the SUV and themystery man. It sounded like there weretwo or three more voices out there, so Istrained against the bungee cord andpushed my feet on the radiator again, onlythis time I turned my head in an attempt tosee anything from the new angle. Thefrustration was building again, and despitemy instructions, I screamed inside thetape, hoping the owners of the new voiceswould bring help. As I did, however, the

voices grew louder and more aggressive.One voice in particular raged above theothers and seemed to echo in the stillnessof the broken, old house.

“What did I tell you? What did I say?”The door slammed and running footstepstrailed behind, getting closer. My handsshook as I pulled at the ropes, the logic ofit not lost on me—just misplaced. Mybrain called out to me and told me to getout. Danger flared my head, commandingme to leave immediately, yet I was stuck. Ibroke out in a fresh, cold sweat—the newterror strapped to my chest like apaperweight.

Suddenly, a large, muscular man stood

before me. Trailing behind him, I caught abrief glimpse of Polo and some others, butmy attention was focused on the man’s fistas it hit me.

I flinched at the impending blow andcovered my head as best as I could—which was actually only raising myelbows like chicken wings. The painwould come. So far it had mostly just beenawkwardness and fear, but now it wouldget physical. Really, it was almost a reliefto know I wouldn’t have to wait anymorefor my demise. But it was difficult not toimagine if they would torture me beforethey killed me.

I didn’t want to think how painful this

would be for Dad; how much it would agehim.

However, the most remarkable thingstopped the fist just before it connectedwith my face. And I was completely surethe fist was coming because I even felt thebreeze as it moved by.

Then there was a lot of noise andseveral voices swearing all at once. Myinsides were shaking again and as Islowly opened my eyes, I realized mybody was shaking as well. I was tooafraid to turn my head, although I had anidea what I might see.

“I said no.”Wallace was bent back behind some

of the broken countertop, his chestheaving. My abductor was standing infront of me, staring at him with asteadiness in his eye that both frightenedand calmed me significantly.

“Charlie’s right, Wallace,” said oneof the men from the corner. I noticed howthey remained at a respectful distancewhile my abductor and Wallace had theirstare-down. “Let’s just wait to hear whatBen says.”

Polo pushed his way up to the front.“Did I miss something good?”

Wallace smiled and stood up in onefluid motion. His eyes left my abductor’sand fell on mine, and although I wanted to

look away, I couldn’t manage it. Briefly, Iwas reminded of the eyes of road kill orfrogs that get dissected in science labs.Like them, his glare towards me wasindifferent and empty. I’m notembarrassed to say the lack of humanacknowledgement in the momentfrightened me more than anything else sofar. Killing me would mean nothing to him—a mere inconvenience, like stepping insomething that might mess up the bottom ofhis shoes.

“Yeah,” he scoffed. “All right, then,boys—whatever you say.”

Although his fists remained clenchedat his sides, my abductor said nothing as

Wallace stood up and brushed some dustfrom his pants. Standing at full height, Irealized he was larger than I hadoriginally thought, being easily over sixfeet tall. He was also abnormally shapedwith muscles that didn’t look fit for thehuman form. They even seemed to scopeinto the widow’s peak of his military-stylehaircut. I gulped and thought of Robbie.Would my big brother have heard by nowthat I was missing?

As soon as the man left the room, thetension seemed to break, and someonesighed. I cautiously turned and sawsomeone lighting a cigarette.

“He needs to relax.”

“Really? I think his Charles Bronsonimpersonation is getting pretty good.”

Now that I could see them easily, Ihardly felt comforted by the appearance ofany of these strangers. One man who hadcome from the second SUV was leaningagainst the door frame. Like Wallace, hewas muscular and rigid. But the main thingI noticed were the abstract scars on hisforearms and wrists. Like lines on thepavement, they crossed and jagged on hisraven skin. Next to him was a lanky-looking man with dark hair and theshadow of facial hair to match.

Although, he might have been averagelooking, it was difficult not to miss the

absence of his left index finger and the tipof his right thumb. In front of them stoodPolo, a shorter man with reddish hair anda large smile.

I looked up at my abductor—the onethey had called Charlie. His face wasflushed with fresh rage. Not understandingthe source, the anger frightened me. Yet itwas the way the rage so visibly coursedthrough him: his pupils dilated, his fistsclenched. He seemed nearly as monstrousas Wallace. Then all at once, the terror Ihad felt blooming inside me reached ahead when Polo flounced over and wavedhis hand in my face.

“Hi, my name is Polo. That’s Yuri and

Reid!” He gestured to the men in thedoorway, but it was difficult to payattention as I flinched back so hard mywrists hit the radiator again and I cringedas the pain flooded my nerves.

With the same kind of discipline onemight show a puppy, Charlie slapped hishand away and glared at him with a sternlook that suggested future bodily harm ifhe continued.

The man with the dark hair, however,laughed. “Bad Polo! That’s a very badPolo!” he said. He too had some sort ofdulled accent I couldn’t quite place.

“What?” Polo asked. He seemedgenuinely confused. While the sudden

movement had startled me, it gave me aunique moment to take a fleeting look atthe bunch and observe them. While theman named Yuri lit another cigarette, thedark-haired man rubbed the spacebetween his brows and tried to ignorePolo, who was all but dancing aroundhim.

“What guys? I don’t get it. Did I missit again? What did I do?”

My breath came in and out easily nowfor the first time since I had left the truckstop. Charlie lifted himself onto what wasprobably the platform for a wood stoveand took a phone from his pocket. I sawthe bags under his eyes and the distinct

look of worry.“What time is Ben supposed to be

here?” Yuri asked.“Soon enough,” he snapped back.It occurred to me then … the complete

lack of organization with only theanticipation of violence. These menweren’t kidnappers, they were onlythieves. Any provocation they might haveto hurt me would be directly related towhat I had seen—or what I might haveseen.

So there was still a possibility I mightlive through this. But what about Wallace?He could have easily done me in withlittle effort on his part. And yet this

Charlie person had put forth the effort tostop him, and he had also told me Iwouldn’t be hurt. But who was he? Whyshould I believe him? He had taken meagainst my will!

What if preventing me from getting myblock knocked off was all part of someelaborate ruse to gain my trust and get meto develop Stockholm Syndrome orsomething? I closed my eyes and beganrummaging through all the case studies Ihad read in those abnormal psychologytextbooks. My mind even sorted throughthose terrible made-for-television moviesand tried to remember the statistics forhuman trafficking and…

I counted to ten and then backwardstwice more before the thoughts wentaway. As terrible as it was, thesophistication behind some elaboratetrickery like that wouldn’t be very costeffective and would require too mucheffort for guys like these.

Just then, the squealing of tires brokeup my thoughts. The guys jumped out ofthe room and the door banged once more.Most of them were yelling, swearingprofusely about a ‘screw up.’ I wasreminded of children on a playgroundrunning to a teacher to tattle.

Charlie was the only one who stayedbehind.

Silence between us felt strangelycomfortable. With just him in the room, Ihad the feeling I was less likely to beharmed than I was with the rest of them. Istole a brief glance and could see the ragehad ebbed away while he smoked. Hestared out the small window with suchintensity that I thought maybe he wasavoiding looking at me. It surprised mewhen he finally spoke.

“If I take that off, can you keep quiet?”While I thought about the potential of

screaming again and the possibility ofrescue, a brief glint of annoyance in hiseyes persuaded me that it wouldn’t bewise. As it was, the skin around my mouth

was dried and chapped from themaltreatment. I carefully nodded my headtwice.

He approached me cautiously, like Iwas a wounded animal. I flinched when hereached out to remove the tape from mymouth. For a second, I could feel thecalluses from his fingertips against thesides of my cheek. I thought maybe histhumb lingered there a moment longer thannecessary—I shuddered.

He ripped the tape away quicklyenough so the skin didn’t tear from myalready chapped lips. Still, I harbored aninstant wish for the lip balm in my bag.

There was humor in his voice, but he

lacked a smile. “Just like a Band-Aid.”“Thanks.” My voice surprised me; I

sounded just as cracked and dried as mylips felt. I coughed several times in anattempt to regain my voice. As I did so, hebacked away abruptly, narrowing his eyesat me dangerously. I actually wondered ifI had done something to offend him. Butthis bothered me too, and I was annoyedwith myself that even in a situation likethis I would retain so much awkwardnessand still worry about what was expectedof me.

“Thank you?” Charlie mumbled. Hisexpression had gone back to indifference,and he looked out the window from his

seat on the countertop. “That s’posed to befunny?”

I shrugged. The muscles in myshoulders and back were beginning totense and stiffen up from the lack ofmovement. I found it incrediblyuncomfortable. “There’s no excuse forpoor manners.” Hopefully he wouldrealize I wasn’t being sarcastic, just tryingto be civilized. I once saw on a talk showthat the more likely an abductor is to seeyou as a human being, the more likely theyare to treat you as one—not to mention thefact that you could live through theexperience. If all I had to do was show alittle decency, then I would be Miss

Manners.We remained in the quiet for quite

awhile, which bothered me much morethan I expected. Normally, I thrived in thestillness of things, getting some of my bestwork done in silent afternoons at thelibrary. But the lack of knowing whatawaited me next and what was currentlyhappening was making the gears in mybrain go haywire. All the potentialscenarios of what could happen to mewere colliding with my worries and fearsfor the future. More importantly, however,what about Dad and Robbie? Would Dadremember to take his blood pressuremedication? Was he eating? This wouldn’t

distract Robbie during his retraining,right?

“What are you going to do with me?” Iregretted the words the instant they cameout. He had warned me to be quiet.Nevertheless, the buildup was unbearable,and the words just slurred out of me likedirty slush on a sidewalk, unwanted andunavoidable.

My gaze found the floor and stayedthere. I tried to mentally prepare myselffor the tape again, but it didn’t come.Instead, his voice was calm and steady. “Idon’t know.” He threw the filter of hiscigarette against the wall. I shivered eventhough the afternoon heat was already

setting in.Luckily, my imagination didn’t have

any wind-up time before someone elsewalked into the house and interrupted mythoughts. He was someone new, and hecarried himself with the attitude of anadmiral, extremely stiff and stoic with anobvious air of authority. It seemed almostironic that he was rather small—classicNapoleon complex. He was alsoextremely well dressed in what lookedlike a tailor-made suit. When he walkedthrough the doorway, he crossed his armsover his chest and smiled widely. Then hetook a moment to look at Charlie and thenme before taking out a large pair of

bifocals. If I was making a blind guess, Iwould have said this guy was one of myprofessors.

“Well,” he said to Charlie. “At leastwhen you find a mess, you find a lovelyone, don’t you, Charlie Boy?”

He walked towards me, and althoughhe wasn’t as flamboyant as Polo, the samecuriosity was there. “Hello there, myname is Ben Walden. What’s yours?”

I felt very much like a child and hatedit in the extreme. My teeth clenched as Irepeated his name over in my head. Itsounded familiar, but I couldn’t quiteplace it anywhere. When I looked back upI realized Charlie was also looking at me,

and it made my stomach churn. But still, Ikept my eyes on this new stranger when Ianswered.

“Addie Battes.”Ben’s smile grew a little wider as he

looked back at Charlie. “Of course youare.”

“My family isn’t wealthy,” I blurtedout.

“Excuse me?” He stood up and leanedagainst the door frame. He looked moreamused than ever.

“I don’t know anyone or anything, andI don’t even know where I am. You couldjust blindfold me and drop me offsomewhere so neither of us is

inconvenienced. There are many optionshere, gentlemen. I could tell my family Ispontaneously went hitchhiking, so therewas no crime even committed, no lawsbroken whatsoever.” I was babbling and Iknew it. Even I could hear how pathetic itsounded, how desperate and menial. Butat this point, I figured my chances wereabout fifty-fifty of getting killed, andfrankly, I no longer knew if presenting alogical argument would increase ordecrease the risk for survival.

Ben looked up at Charlie with somesort of musing on his face. They seemed tobe communicating without saying anything.If it wasn’t for their severe differences in

appearance, I would have thought theywere brothers.

Then without warning, Ben startedlaughing. It was strange to hear such ahigh-pitched sound coming from such aserious-looking man. While I waited forthe sound to stop, I noticed Charlie wassmiling a little bit, too. Seeing him smiledid something to my insides again and Ihad to look away.

Ben sighed and smacked his handstogether. “Okay, kids, here is what we’lldo: we’ll attempt to remain with our plan.Then, in a few hours after we’ve gone,we’ll have some friends call theauthorities about this lovely little thing.”

He pointed in my direction with his thumband then smacked his hands back and forthtogether. Again, I was reminded of aninstructor wiping the chalk dust from hispalms.

Charlie said nothing. He nodded andpulled another cigarette from his pocketand put it to his lips. I noticed his distincthesitation to light it.

“Okay by you?” his words were oddlystifled by the cigarette.

I looked around me to make sure hewas talking to me. I think the expressionon my face is what made Ben Waldenlaugh. Was Charlie actually asking myopinion or was he merely being sarcastic?

“I’d prefer to go home right now.”Both men laughed.In all honesty, however, relief flooded

through me. These people were talkingabout letting me go home, about allowingme to leave free and unharmed. I wasoverwhelmed with excitement at theprospect of being back in New Jersey(and how often does one say that?), in myroom, in my bed, and above all else, safe.Just as some of these thoughts began toseep into me, another question entered mymind.

“Um, excuse me? Just how long am Igoing to be here?”

Smoke and murky sunlight filled the

tiny once-upon-a-time kitchen. “’Tilltomorrow,” Charlie answered.

My sigh was audible. “Okay.”Ben removed his bifocals and

formally placed them in the front pocket ofhis shirt. “I’ll have a talk with Wallace.”

Charlie scoffed and I saw the glimmerof something dark I had seen earlier. “Ifyou don’t, then I’m gonna.” Although hesmiled and saluted Ben jokingly as hewalked away, there was nothing playfulabout his expression. I thought that maybethere was a threat implied somewhere, butknew better than to ask.

He left then, returning only a momentlater with several bottles of water and a

bag of chips. He sat next to me andcrossed his legs, and although I stillshould have been terrified, I confess thatthe sight of the water alone reminded meof some of my most basic needs,eradicating the fear from me. When hewent to touch the bungees that held mywrists, I didn’t even shy away.

“If you try somethin’, I’ll lock you in acloset.”

It barely took a second for him to untiemy hands. I rubbed my sore wristseagerly. I doubted he had been a BoyScout, but maybe his knot tying skills werea part of Thieving and Kidnapping 101.

I still smiled at the threat. “Taking a

page out of the SLA Handbook?”“Huh?” The chips popped open and he

slid a water bottle towards me.“Um, the Symbionese Liberation

Army?” When he didn’t respond, Icontinued.

“They kidnapped a girl named PattyHearst in the seventies. Kept her locked ina closet.” I closed my mouth and kept itthat way, remembering how most peopledidn’t like a know-it-all. I tried to bediscreet about checking the water for atorn bottle cap before taking a sip from it.He saw me, though, and scoffed.

“If I wanted to drug you, I wouldadone it by now.”

I shrugged and gulped. “I don’t knowwhat you mean.”

He smiled and sipped his own water.“Yeah.”

I reached my hand into the chip bagand helped myself to a handful of thecrunchy BBQ. The simple joy of itdelighted my senses and made me sohappy I almost wanted to cry. I closed myeyes and slowly munched on every chip. Isavored each bite like a precious morsel. Ishould have been dead, but I wasn’t. I hadsomehow been spared and was also eatingthese wonderfully mundane chips. Ilaughed to myself and realized I wasexperiencing some classic signs of

Stockholm Syndrome.“What’s so funny?”I opened my eyes and took another sip

of water. It was warm, but still incrediblyrefreshing. “Normally I don’t enjoyRuffles this much.”

His head tilted to the side. “You’re astrange one, ain’t you?”

I nodded, put another chip in mymouth, and chewed thoughtfully. An ideastarted nagging at the back of my head andthrobbed there at the edge of myreasoning. Although I didn’t want toacknowledge it, it still nudged at me toask, taunting me with its incessant chantinguntil I would satisfy it.

“Why are you being nice to me?”He frowned, wiping the residue from

his hands on his jeans. “I ain’t.”“Yes, you are.” Really? Was I really

arguing right now with an armed man whostole for a living?

But instead of getting angry like Ithought he might, he only pulled anothercigarette from a pack and lifted it to hismouth. Briefly, I wondered about thatmouth, and if smoking cigarettes sofrequently would alter the taste of thoselips. I put my hand to my own torn lips butimmediately pulled away, feeling theblush spread.

Yikes, Addie, get a grip. I was

abominably grateful then that I had beenallowed my bag, and again rememberedmy desire for my lip balm. Unfortunately,however, my abductor didn’t feel the sameway, as my sudden movements seem tostartle him into grabbing my wrist withone hand while pinning his leg against mytorso to effectively prevent me from goinganywhere. Although the action wasn’tviolent and his grip by no means hurtful,the closeness and the aggression of his actmade me catch my breath. Beyond thesmell of the clove cigarettes, I could smellaftershave and dull soap. More faded thanothers, I could see a few scars behind thestubble of his jaw, and one particularly

deep mark along his left eyebrow.It was strange that his chest was

moving so rapidly because such a smalleffort couldn’t have been much for him.But sure enough, he was breathing asthough he had been performing someintense exercise. Now I could clearly seewhat the collar of his jacket had beenhiding. It was a rather large tattoo of aserpent, which seemed to dance under thebulge of his pulsing jugular vein.

He pulled away instantly when herealized his mistake, slowly moving topick up the cigarette that had fallen to thefloor.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

My hands were practically shakingwhen I put the lip balm on, but I was wellaware it wasn’t from fear. “That’s okay.”

He laughed and lit the cigarette; thesound filled the kitchenette and made myhead spin like a poorly constructed rollercoaster. I picked up my water bottle andlooked at it, then the bag of chips. No, no.Besides, if I had been drugged, the sideeffects would probably have been farmore different.

I shrugged and tried to get the kinksout. Somehow I picked up our previousconversation against my better judgment.“That’s what I mean, though. A realvillain never apologizes.” Insanity, that’s

all it was. I was clearly just a crazyperson who needed to be locked away in atiny room somewhere so I could receiveprofessional medical help. “So you can’tbe entirely bad.”

His eyebrow went up. “What do youknow ‘bout it?”

“Nothing. I just—”“That’s right.” His finger came out at

me, pointing in accusation. “So just keepyour damn mouth shut.”

Although he put his hand down, heglared at me for some time. His eyes werea kaleidoscope of colors as the cloudsoutside passed over the sun and tinted theindoor light. While his expression was

dark, there wasn’t anything angry about it,nothing even within the realm of what Ihad seen earlier. But I wanted to test thewaters, explore this unknown territory.My curiosity gushed from the inside outand gave me a rush.

Yes, I decided. I was definitely crazy.“Maybe you’re right.” I played with

the bottle cap in my hands. “If you weredecent, you would let me call my Dad—just to tell him I’m all right.”

“Forget it,” he snapped and put out thecigarette on the edge of his boot.

“It was worth a try,” I mumbled.“You’re lucky you’re even getting

outta here.” He scooted across the floor

and rested his back against one of the fewcupboards still intact. From below us, Ithought I heard the roar of power toolscoming to life. Unfortunately, the noise didnothing to distract me and those peskylogical thoughts started creeping up again.I was beginning to hope that Robbiehadn’t heard about my abduction at all. Iquickly reasoned there was no way itcouldn’t sidetrack him. Even if I washome by this time tomorrow, I didn’t wanthim to worry unnecessarily. With Dad,however, that was going to beunavoidable.

“What kinda girl goes running ‘rounda filling station after she hears gunshots?”

He shook his head as though he wasexasperated, but he wasn’t even close tobeing done.

“Is that what those noises were?” Imumbled to myself. Even if I had beenasking, it was clear he was too consumedwith his ranting to bother with me.

“Nobody minds their own business nomore! That’s how folk end up in troublehalf the time!” Despite the yelling, I wasless afraid and more enthralled by hisbehavior.

“People can’t just do what theirs’posed to do. Just follow directions andlisten! Then everybody wonders whyeverything gets messed up.” He was

rambling now, ranting as though he were alunatic. I frowned—mostly because I onlyunderstood about half of what he wastalking about, but also because I didn’tunderstand the source of his anger. Hesounded completely bent, his wordsstreaming out of his mouth with only theslightest fragment of sense.

“We shoulda just skipped it and stuckto the schedule. Followed through asusual.” I listened with a keen interest as hetalked more to himself than anything. Irealized that, just as before when hebecame enraged with Wallace, his accentbecame more pronounced. He was evenmisusing auxiliary verbs.

“I done told them a million timesbefore—a last-minute truck grab ain’t agood idea!”

“Hey…” I tried to pull him from hisraving, but I don’t think he paid anyattention. In a way it was cute, almost likea toddler having a tantrum. And under adifferent set of circumstances, I mighthave laughed, but I was fed-up andannoyed with this entire business. Frankly,the last thing I wanted to do was listen tohim harp on. “Hey!”

Finally, he looked at me with wideeyes. It was as though he had forgotten Iwas in the room.

I scowled so hard I hoped he could

feel it. “Maybe you could quitcomplaining for a minute and forget thatyou’re not the only one here having a badday.” I pointed to the bungees stillattached to my legs. “Just imagine whatmy Dad is going through right now.”

At that my voice trailed off. I didn’twant to think about Dad and the horrorsthat were probably going through hismind. With any luck, he wasn’t being asimaginative as I had been in regard to mywelfare. I always thought I got mycreativity from Mom. I silently prayed thatfor the sake of Dad’s sanity, I was right.

“What ‘bout your Ma?” The sound ofhis voice interrupted my thoughts. I

noticed his tone was back to normal, hisaccent much more diluted.

The mention of my Mom upset mewithout explanation. Maybe it was themany implications of death throughout thelast few hours or just my constant attemptsto avoid thinking about how much I missedher. Whatever it was made me angryenough to pick up the bottle cap from thefloor and chuck it at him. Naturally it wasoff by about a foot and a half and bouncedoff the wall instead—not that it wouldhave done any damage, anyway.

“She’s dead—but thanks for bringingup happy memories.” I sulked helplesslyand pulled my knees up as high to my

chest as I could get them with tied legs. Iremembered my Mom’s passionate dislikeof sarcasm and her frequent reminders ofit being ‘the lowest form of humor…yada,yada, yada.’ I heard his low chuckle eruptfrom across the room.

“Are you…laughing?” I mentioned mydead Mother and this person waslaughing? I wanted to claw his eyes out.Since that wasn’t an option, I reachedaround me for something else to throw, butthe empty water bottles were just out ofreach.

“What were you trying to hit?” Hislaughter grew louder, bubbling in theroom around us and filling the kitchenette

once again. It even overpowered thesound of the tools from below us until theyshut off altogether.

I huffed and ground my teeth together.“You.”

His laughter increased until heactually had to clutch his stomach to keepfrom falling over.

I crossed my arms over my chest asbest as I could, feeling uncomfortable byboth his mocking and the fact that I verymuch enjoyed the sound of his laughter. Itwas a rich, fluid sound that was evenlytuned and entirely pleasant to my senses. Itoccurred to me that I was warped andshould be deeply offended, but in reality I

was only slightly cross.“Shut up,” I demanded.He managed to get ahold of himself

long enough to stand up and open thesolitary window. It protested with a loudcrack and a piece of wood split from thepanel. I was glad I hadn’t bothered with it.

His laugh had now devolved into arumbling chuckle that came in with awarm breeze.

“Now I get that saying ‘throw like agirl.’” His face broke into a grin at myshocked expression. My last piece ofpatience had evaporated. And while I stillwasn’t as disgusted as I should have been,I was no longer willing to shield my

anger.“Who do you think you are?” I spat the

words out like sour milk. “You have noright to insult people, let alone kidnapthem and worry their parents to death!”

He closed the distance between us andscrunched down, putting his weight on hisheels. “I told you.”

“Excuse me?”“I ain’t a nice guy.”I smiled and lunged at him, putting as

much weight as I could on my confinedlegs. While it wasn’t going to do anygood, it took him by surprise enough toknock him on his backside. He put out hishands to steady himself.

“That might be true.” In all mynervousness, I still tried to laugh. “But youseem harmless enough.”

“You’re vicious.” He sat back down.I attempted to laugh again. “I try.”He opened his mouth to say something

else but was interrupted by the sound ofhis name being called in the distance. Thenoise startled us both, but at least heseemed to understand the source. I couldhear firecrackers going off one by one andthe voices of the guys shouting loudprofanities all at once.

Without explanation, he got up andwalked away. Although it grossed me out,my curiosity was insufferable after about

twenty seconds, so I lowered my head tothe dirt-caked floor, just touching my earto the surface. I heard heavy footsteps onthe stairs, and the sound of doorsslamming before I heard Charlie’s voiceagain. His voice was too muffled to makeout the exact words, but knowing he wasclose-by gave me a strange sort ofcomfort. After a couple of seconds, Iheard Polo cackling with laughter.

I sat up and tried to listen for moresounds. From the urgency in the voices, Igathered that the men were downstairsdoing something that was of relativevalue. More importantly however, itdidn’t sound like it concerned me and I

had a unique opportunity to evaluate myphysical situation. Since I was alone, Icould attempt escape and try to search forhelp. It was risky, but despite theagreement made, I had no intention ofstaying in that house for a moment longerthan I possibly had to. If there was eventhe slightest chance I could be home bytonight, then I was going to take it.

With more freedom for my hands, Iworked my fingers against the bungees,pulling to get the knots free. It didn’taccomplish much, as my fingers weremuch too soft against the frayed material,and it stung painfully on both my calvesand fingers when I tried to break it. I

looked around but saw nothing remotelysharp enough that would slice through. Iknew I had nothing in my bag that wouldbe helpful, and I didn’t have to guess ifthese guys had any useful cutlery in thisroom as they definitely didn’t appear to bethe cooking type.

So I tugged and pried at the heavyknots. In a way it was kind of funny.Robbie or Dad would have probablygotten through this in about a minute.While I could quote Shakespeare, tell youthe difference between a Rembrandt andCaravaggio, and speak a little Chinese (Iemphasize the word ‘little’), I had nobasic knowledge of any survival skills

that had the potential to literally save mylife at this moment in time.

“Ain’t no point in that.” I had been sodistracted by my efforts I had forgotten tolisten for anyone coming. At first therealization that I was no longer alonefrightened me, but when I looked to thedoorway and saw Charlie there,completely covered in soot and ash, Iactually felt relieved.

I pinched my nose shut. “What is thatterrible smell?” He came over towardsme and shooed my hands away from thebungees, answering my question at thesame time. I struggled against him, but notbeing particularly eager to get him angry, I

gave up.“Were you rolling in sulfur?”He sighed. “No.” His voice was tight.I started to laugh at the baked-in flakes

of ash and something else in his hair. Itreminded me of the many years Robbiedressed as a hobo for Halloween becausehe didn’t want to put any effort into acostume.

Despite everything else, I felt betterthat he was no longer wearing the holsterwith the guns. I wondered where theywere, but as long as they weren’t near me,I decided it didn’t much matter. Seeinghim ridiculously filthy also helped easemy apprehension, which may explain why

I reached my hand out to shake the flakesof dirt from his head. I understood nowthat they were mostly rust and some kindof powder. But it wasn’t this that made mepause; it was my surprise at how soft thetexture of his hair really was and howmuch I enjoyed the feel of it.

He was equally surprised, shootinghis head up from securing my bonds tostare his eyes into mine. How quickly hischest seemed to rise and fall. I wasbeginning to wonder if I made himnervous.

“What were you doing down there?” Ipulled my hand away from him like hewas a lit flame. He gulped and then shook

his head, blinking several times. It wasalmost as though he were waking from adeep dream.

“Better if you don’t know.” His voicewas quiet, sleepy even.

“You smell really bad.”“I know.”“I have to use the bathroom.”“Okay.”“And my foot is asleep.”“Okay.”It amazed me the way he took

considerable care not to touch me whilehe untied the binds around my legs. Unlikewhen he originally tied my wrists, he tookhis time, his fingers gingerly working at

the bungee cord so he wouldn’t have tomake physical contact with me. Thiscouldn’t have been easy for him. I was soexcited at the prospect of standing up that Ipersistently tapped the toes on the foot thatwas still awake. The second I was free, Isprung up like a jack-in-the-box,completely forgetting about my uselessfoot and nearly falling over from trying tobalance myself. Before my reflexes couldeven respond, Charlie effortlessly caughtme by my elbows and pulled me back tostanding.

I laughed. “Thanks. I guess no onecould ever accuse me of being graceful.”

He smiled briefly, but then his face

went blank and his fists balled at hissides.

“Just up the steps.” He pointed to thedoor of the kitchenette and then added forgood measure, “Don’t do nothin’ stupid.”

“Me? Stupid? Only at rest stops in themiddle of the night.”

Although he was walking behind me, Icould see him smile out of the corner ofmy eye.

When I stepped out of the makeshiftbathroom, he was waiting for me acrossthe hall with a lit cigarette and anewspaper. The crude bathroom was onlya half-bath with a large space where a tubhad probably once been next to a filthy

sink and toilet. I did find some soap,which was slightly shocking, consideringthe proprietors of the house. Simplywashing my face and hands refreshed meconsiderably, but it had also brought backsome of my more reliable senses. As Istared at Charlie with the newspaper inhand, it occurred to me that I had anopportunity to extract some information.

“Does it, um, say anything in there,um, you know?”

I crossed my arms over myself andtried to focus on the pattern of fadingdaises from the drooping wallpaper. I justhoped my obvious inquiry wouldn’t angerhim somehow and lead to the retraction of

our deal.Charlie looked up at me with a hint of

a smile. Through the smog his cigarettecreated, I could see the dark glimmering inhis eyes again. I hugged myself tighter.

“What? ‘Bout you?” he teased.I shifted my weight to my other hip

and tried to hold his stare. “Aboutanything of interest.”

His smile grew as he handed thenewspaper to me very slowly anddeliberately—even maintaining his graspwhen I had it in my hand.

“Only interesting thing is on the front.”His eyes had this primitive refusal toleave mine, and I no longer had to force

myself to keep his stare. On the contrary, Ihad difficulty looking away from his darkgaze. Now that his anger was gone, thecolors in his eyes were shining, and thebeauty was downright spellbinding. Iwanted to shake my head and tell myself Iwas being much too literal. Yet he wascontent to keep me hypnotized, controlledwith his stare. Finally, his eyesrelinquished their hypnotic grip and hestood back. For this, I was both equallydisappointed and relieved—acombination I could not totally absorb.

My fingers had to comb through theentire newspaper because it wasn’t foldedproperly. I was glad it was current, but

felt like I was enduring a scavenger huntthat was designed for someone far morepatient than myself.

Finally, my frustration came to an endwhen I found the front page.

“Teenager Kidnapped from Rest Stop”

New York, NY— AdelineBattes, 17, was kidnapped last nightfrom a rest stop just outside ofSyracuse, New York on the returnjourney from Fort Drum, where herbrother Pvt. Robert Bates preparesfor his second deployment to Iraq.According to local reports, MichaelBattes, Adeline’s father, contacted

New York State police when hecould not locate his daughter andcellular contact with her failed.

Additional details are coming in,but eyewitness testimony from reststop employees claim a young womanfitting the description of Ms. Batteswas seen leaving a rest stop exitapproximately eighty yards fromwhere her destroyed cellulartelephone was discovered. Severalhours later the body of a truck driver,whose name is not being released atthis time, was found in the empty cabof his vehicle. At this time police areunsure if the incidents are related…

I sunk to the floor and pushed the

paper as far away from me as possible.Nausea ran through my stomach, and Iestimated that if I read anymore,considered reading more, or even smelledthe printer’s ink, I would be sick.Kidnappings, murders, and any othercrime more deviant than going over thespeed limit was something I had only everread about or seen in movies. But here itwas, right in the middle of my own littleworld. This wasn’t the sort of thing I wasmeant to touch during my lifetime.

“They’re really playing up the cancerthing.”

I had never expected him to be so stillnext to me, nor the silence so comfortable.

“What?” My voice didn’t sound likemy own. It was tired and worn, flat, likethe air had been taken out.

“The other papers keep bringing uphow your Ma died and saying that yourbrother is a war hero—”

I cut him off with my laugh. “Robbieis no war hero. He’s just…” I struggledfor the right word, “Robbie.”

He reached out a hand to me, which Istared at before accepting. How strangethat his hands had gotten me into this messand now they were offering me assistance.Once I was back on my feet, I followed

him to the kitchenette. It occurred to me totry and look for some means of escape, butall the remaining windows had beenboarded up, and the short hallway back tothe kitchenette revealed nothing but thesmallest shards of broken glass in an arrayof colors. I mused that if the sun werearound to touch them at a good angle, itmight look like a stained window. Ipaused and looked down at my bare feet. Ihad been avoiding the fragments of glass,garbage, and anything else that I thoughtmight be hazardous to my feet, but now Ifelt a sharp little pain pricking at my heel.I hopped up on one foot and revealed theculprit to be a shard of brown glass.

I pulled out the glass, chose not tocomment about the lack of housekeeping,and continued to limp behind him.

“I’ll get to go home tomorrow, right?”“Yeah.”“You know you really do smell,

right?”He smiled. “Yeah.”When we got back to the kitchenette, I

took the time to stretch in front of thewindow. I tried to see if I coulddistinguish any smells in the distance—factories, farms, or anything else thepolice might want to know. I also tried toidentify the plant life that lay scattered anduntamed through the forest beyond. When

the clouds in the distance finally faded, Ithought I saw a mountain top, but decidedit was just another cloud and my eyestrying to deceive me.

I stayed there for a lot longer than theaverage kidnapper probably would havelet me. Or really much longer than I hadeven realized, because when I turned backaround, Charlie was sitting on the edge ofthe countertop with his eyes narrow andhis face blank. He was staring at me, veryintently, in fact. How long had he beendoing that? A row of goosebumps formedon my arms and legs at the idea of himwatching me, thinking about me. For amoment I was reminded of the individual

I’d temporary lost my head over at thecafé rest stop. It went away, however,when he spoke.

“Sorry ‘bout this.” His gaze left meand strayed to the floor. “But ah—” Hepulled out the bungee cords from behindhis back and I didn’t need to hear the restof what else he was going to say.

“No.”He smiled sadly. “I ain’t asking.”I made a run for the door, but got

about as far as I did when I tried to runfrom the SUV before his long arms closedaround me for the second time. Naturally,my mouth opened to scream, but his handonce again covered my mouth before I

could produce a sound.“Don’t do this,” he whispered in my

ear. His voice was a soft plea, and heseemed so unsure of how to handlehimself that it was nearly pathetic.“Please?”

I heard the desperation and tirednessin the word. The demonstration of emotionwas enough to make me stop strugglingagainst him. Once I did, the stench ofsulfur again overwhelmed my senses andbrought me back to life. Why was I beingso compliant? He was obviously justtrying to manipulate me with some lameshow of emotion. I cursed myself for mynaiveté. Before I could do anything about

it, he overwhelmed me with his strengthagain.

“I know this sucks.” In one swiftmotion he picked me up and sat me next tothe radiator. Nothing about it was rough oreven forceful, although it had becomeobvious that he was physically capable ofmaking me do anything he wanted.

“I gotta couple things to do.” Heshook his head and sighed while he tiedme back to the radiator. “When I get back,you can just hang out. Without any of thisstuff.” He gestured to the bungees, butrefused to make eye contact with me.“Okay?”

I gulped, but couldn’t think of a good

argument. My head was beginning to ache,and my brain was fuzzy with anxiety.“You don’t have to do this.”

He paused before he left the room. Hewasn’t looking at me, yet seemed to bereading my every thought.

“Don’t worry. I ain’t gonna let nobodyhurt you.”

His fists clenched at his sides and thenhe was gone.

After he left me, the panic surgedinside of me like when I first saw thebungees reappear. Seeing them again hadled me back to the awareness of what wasgoing on. I wanted to believe that Charliewould save me from harm and that I could

very well be home by this time tomorrow—probably laughing about what a greatcollege entry essay this experience wouldmake. Except those other logical partskept screaming that if I stayed there tied tothat radiator, I would never see homeagain.

Footsteps downstairs were movingquickly, and I could hear the loudmaneuvering of something heavy below. Ifelt fortunate when it sounded like theowners of the feet walked out the frontdoor; I was growing increasingly afraid ofthe decaying house and my ownconfinement without Charlie’s watchfuleyes. I reconsidered the possibility that

being surrounded by criminals, who alsohappened to be male, could lead toterrible and unspeakable things happeningto me. Now with Charlie’s strangeprotectiveness and my own deduction oftheir entrepreneurial endeavors, I wasconfident that at least I wasn’t in dangerfrom any sexual assault.

Still, I wanted to remain unseen. Thefootsteps went up and down the stairs. Iquietly tried to work the bungees fromaround my wrists. A cold sweat broke outacross my face and heat enflamed mycheeks. It suddenly occurred to me at thebase of my instincts, in my heart of hearts,that I had to get out of there before

something very bad happened.“Hi there!”I heard myself gasp at the intrusion of

noise.Polo was standing just outside the

kitchen window and jumping up anddown, trying to get a view of inside theelevated kitchen. The bungees were fairlyloose so I could lean forward enough tosee him waving his arms up and down,trying to get my attention.

“Hi!” He shouted again.I slowly waved back. It was looking

less likely that these guys wereprofessional criminals and more like abunch of boys in a fraternity.

“Polo!” A voice called. “Polo! Howmany damn times…” The dark haired manappeared within my view and grabbedPolo by the collar. He pulled him awayfrom the window.

“Reid! I was just—”They argued off in the direction of the

driveway, their voices becoming mereechoes as I worked at the bungees. I triedto imitate the motions Charlie had used tountie the knot before, but it only made themovement of my fingers more difficult. Itwas only upon closer examination that Irealized this knot was completely differentfrom the knot before. In actuality, it wasonly the front of the design that looked the

same.Frustrated, I began struggling at the

bonds because I simply didn’t know whatelse to do. I could feel my irritated skinburning and saw a thin flow of bloodaround my ankles where the flesh hadbegan tearing away. My feeling offoreboding increased as the house greweerily silent. Outside, there was a varietyof sounds that I couldn’t really identify,including Polo laughing and doorsslamming, but even after a few minutes,they, too, faded away. I didn’t know if Iwas terrified or if I wanted to cry.Eventually it was both. I threw my handsagainst the radiator again, somehow

forgetting how they impacted the nerves inmy hands, flinching at the pain.

The water swelled in my eyes but Igulped it back as best as I could. I had tothink rationally again. Right now my fearwas not logical. It was merely a symptomof claustrophobia, stress, and fatigue. Inmy head I recited the alphabet backwards.And then I drew the periodic table ofelements in my mind’s eye just as I hadmemorized. It did help a little bit. But Iconfess it might have been more beneficialif most of my attention hadn’t been spentlistening for Charlie.

I don’t know how long I had beenthere alone. It might have been hours—it

could have only been a few minutes. Butwhen I saw the shadow of a person crossto the kitchenette entrance, I knew I was inthe serious trouble I had been afraid of allalong. Before I had time to react, Wallacewas there. I had been listening so keenly;why hadn’t I heard him coming?

Instinctively, I opened my mouth toscream, but his large hands were aroundmy throat, prohibiting any sound and airflow. I gasped and clawed at the air, thespace between us. Given our differencesin size and strength, it wouldn’t havemattered even if I hadn’t been bound to theradiator. I understand now that it was onlyseconds, but during that time, when the

lack of air was so painful the tears fellfrom my eyes, I saw my lifetime—I sawMom, Dad, Robbie, and oddly enough,Charlie.

Once the darkness closed in, all Icould smell was clove cigarettes and thefeel of callused fingers over my own.

W

Chapter 4

ith The Nothingness came anoverwhelming feeling of obligation. I feltas though I had forgotten somethingterrifically important but couldn’tremember what it was. And although I

couldn’t see or speak, there was a voiceasking me for some impossible movement.Other voices yelled, calling each othernames. What exactly they were, I couldn’tsay. I wanted to settle back into TheNothingness; the dark murkiness.

Without warning, The Nothingnessfaded and pain settled in its place. Everyattempt to breathe was hot lava in mychest with fire bubbling in my throat.Dreadful sounds rang in my ears and madethe pulse in my head vibrate. Where wasthat awful noise coming from? My mouthwas full of soot. I turned to the side, butmy limbs cried out in dull ache andbegged for relief. I opened my eyes and

saw shadows dancing behind a dim light. Ishut them again and tried to get back to thedark.

Dad had burned the coffee.He hadn’t done that for quite a while,

but clearly he’d outdone himself this time.The smell was really disgusting. It was sopowerful it had actually managed to floatall the way from downstairs to mybedroom and make me gag. He might wantto commit me when I told him about mykidnapping dream and how vivid it hadbeen. I circulated my ankles until theymade a pleasant popping noise. Allaround me the air was filled withunpleasant sounds of banging, hammering,

and yelling. My lungs and limbs hurt but Ididn’t know why.

Because it hadn’t been a dream.I sat up in a dead rush, instantly

regretting it as I felt all of my blood floodto my brain in a single instant and I had toput my hands up to keep from my headfrom caving in. Glancing around, I knewimmediately I wasn’t in a hospital like I’dthought (or hoped, rather). Instead I wason a small bed in a room that could becompared to a jail cell. On the floor nextto me lay large stacks of books andpapers. Next to those stood a lonesomedesk lamp without a table to stand on. Iimmediately noticed there were no

windows. Before I could panic, a figurerose from the corner and approached me. Ipulled back. Something quivered allaround me. Was the world ending?

I put my hands down. No, I was justshaking.

Charlie emerged from the darknessslowly and turned on the lamp. I wasn’tsure if it was the light burning my eyes orsurprise that made me turn away. But onceI did, I turned my face to the wall and shutmy eyes tightly. I felt like a creature fromanother world, some distant planet thatonly I knew about. This place, wherever itwas, could not be walked or breathedupon.

His hand stretched out as he tried toexamine something on my head.

I flinched.He turned and reached back to the

corner. He pulled out two Styrofoam cupsof coffee. He handed me one, which Iaccepted, despite the smell. I sipped at theburned liquid and rejoiced as it slid downmy throat.

My throat.Memories grabbed at me, eager to

remind me why I had lost consciousness. Igulped and felt the pain around my lymphnodes. Why was I still alive? I shouldhave been a dead girl in the ground bynow. None of it made any sense.

“What happened?”My hands shook worse than ever

when I heard my voice and the way itcracked. Each syllable hurt to pronounce,and yet despite my efforts, the words stilldidn’t sound right.

He responded by slowly taking thecup from my hands. I didn’t want itanyway. Its contents were threatening tospill. “You probably shouldn’t talk.”

His accent was thick. I guessed hewas angry again. “Tell me.”

I could feel his eyes on my neck,maybe surveying the damage there. I wasjust grateful he hadn’t made anotherattempt to touch me. The idea of being

touched by anyone ever again was enoughto make me retch.

I looked at Charlie, too. He was nolonger covered in filth. He’d changed hisclothes to a button-down green shirt andjeans. It frightened me to realize I couldhave been out for that long.

“Even though Ben told him to leaveyou be…” His voice trailed off. “Wallacethought you were too much of a risk toleave to chance.”

I turned away and shut my eyes. Iknew what had happened next. Tearsrolled down my face when I rememberedmy fear and helplessness—how brief thepain had been.

“Hey.” I heard him swallow. “I’m, ah,sorry.” He sounded heavy. “That son-of-a-bitch…”

“Please.” I cut him off. “I just want togo home.”

He stood up and backed into the darkcorner. When I was sure he was away, Ifelt brave enough to look at him again.Those slouching shoulders of his and thethumbs that dug into his pockets revealedmore than he wanted to say.

“B-by the time I got there, Wallacewoulda come back to finish you off.Didn’t have much choice, did I?” Hestuttered through the whole explanation.And although I only caught about half of

what he was saying, it was enough tomake the blood in my body feel likesludge.

“Charlie.” It was the first time I hadspoken his name out loud. It sounded likea foreign language within itself. I saw himstiffen and raise his head in my direction.Carefully, I slipped my legs off the bedand tested my weight on the floor. If Ihadn’t known any better, I would havesaid it was moving, but there was no waythat could have been true. “What are yousaying to me?”

He hesitated again. “We gotta make adelivery to Singapore in six days. I—wedidn’t know what to do, so we brought

you with us.”Although I heard the words, my brain

wouldn’t digest them. It was as though hewas just saying random things strungtogether to make noise—what he wasexplaining couldn’t possibly be real. Iwas going home, wasn’t I? My breathbecame shallow and rapid and for aninstant I felt as though I were having anasthma attack. He must have seen mypanic because his arms stretched out, hishands pointing downward. “Just—justrelax now.”

“No. No. No. Where am I?”I detested the way he straightened

himself out and stood so rigid. There was

no hesitation now. “The Diyu,” heanswered. “A freighter just south ofCanada.”

“Wh-what?”“Like I said, Wallace was ‘bout to kill

you when I came in. I did all but rip hisarms off but Ben and Reid had me backlong enough that he crawled out the back.”

I covered my ears with my hands. Myhead was pounding and I didn’t want tohear anymore, but he kept on talking. If Ididn’t hear, then maybe I could make ituntrue; maybe I could make it go away.

“You wouldn’t wake up and we hadport to make…” His voice trailed off, butit still stayed tight; rough along the edges.

“Then why didn’t you just leave methere?” I screamed. “Or just leave me at ahospital somewhere?”

He shrugged. “‘Cause we all kindafigured you’d die, and nobody wanted amurder charge.”

I stifled a gasp. I didn’t want to thinkof myself with murder, particularly as amurder victim. The entire concept mademe shudder.

“No,” I said firmly. “This is nothappening. No, no, no, no, no.”

He laughed. Again I couldn’t believeit, thought I must have misheard the sound,but when I looked up, he was smiling.

“That’s a real funny way to say ‘thank

you.’”I took my hands from my head. In the

moment, the anger steadied me. Inarrowed my eyes, trying to strike himdown by sheer force of will.

“Excuse me?”“Well, I did save your life and all.”

His smile widened.My initial analysis had been incorrect.

Here I was thinking that I was crazy forfinding this person attractive, and thenarguing with him, and even willinglyconversing with him, suffering from theearly stages of some madness. It wasmade clear to me now that I was the onlysane person in the room.

“Are you kidding?”He laughed. I still liked the sound and

hated myself instantly. “You would bedead if it wasn’t for me.”

“I wouldn’t be here at all if it wasn’tfor you.”

“That’s what I’m saying!”I shuddered. “You’re disgusting.”Charlie glared at me, but said nothing

and only broke his stare when he saw mestand up.

I immediately went for the door. I wassurprised to find it unlocked, but outside itonly led to a narrow hallway with metalwhite pipes and linoleum floors. Iconsidered that may have been some sort

of elaborate prison constructed for theirvictims, but then shook my head. I neededto find an exit. I looked left and right, butneither direction offered anythingdifferent.

Taking a guess, I ran to the right andkept right on running. I passed a series ofsimple doors that were unlabeled, but Ithrew my fists on them anyway, hopingsomeone would come out and help. Belowme the floor shifted and swelled, knockingme over.

“Guess you ain’t got your sea legs yet,huh?” Charlie was standing above methen. I guess I hadn’t gotten as far as I hadhoped. My breath heaved with anger and

my head pulsed with pain.“Take. Me. Home,” I demanded.“I. Can’t.” He seemed amused and

held out a hand to help me up. Only thistime I didn’t accept it and picked myselfback up. I glared at him with all of themental daggers I could throw andcontinued walking down the hall. Hefollowed at a distance he deemed safe.

“Fine, but you or one of your thievingfriends will have to shoot me if you expectme to cooperate. I’ll find my own way outof here.”

He laughed. “What part of ‘in themiddle of the Atlantic’ don’t youunderstand?”

“I don’t believe you.” That wasn’tentirely true. It was more like I didn’twant to believe him, but as my sensestuned in to the sounds of calamity aboveus and the floor continued to sway ever soslightly, I was beginning to fear it wastrue.

He stopped laughing and becameserious again. “Wait here a second.” Hethen ran back in the direction we hadcome from. Or at least I think it was thesame direction. I reached up and grabbeda long strip of piping that had some kindof meshing attached around it. When I letgo, my fingers were covered with greaseand smelled of gasoline.

“Don’t touch nothin’.”I gasped and felt my hand at my chest.

“Don’t creep up on me!”He smiled. “I didn’t.”“Yes, you did!”He laughed and handed me the denim

jacket I recognized from the night before.“What’s this for?”

“Technically, you’re a stowaway.You should try not to get caught.” Hehanded me a red ball cap and watchedintently as I put it on. Like the jacket, itwas much too big, but I bundled up myhair and tucked as much of it as I could inthe cap.

“What happens if someone finds me

here?”“They won’t.”“What if they do?”“They won’t, Addie. I won’t let ‘em.”I tried to laugh, but it didn’t come out

right. “Yeah, right.”

I followed him down a short set ofhalls and then up a bunch of painted stairsand more hallways. Although it felt goodto move after so long, my body didn’tappreciate the long walk. The muscles inmy shoulders and legs ached, but I wasslightly amazed that thin bandages hadbeen wrapped around my ankles where theskin had begun to blister. There was also

a band-aid on my foot. When I was puttingon the jacket I could smell a sort ofointment against the abrasions that circledmy wrists. I felt instant hope at thisrealization. This meant there had to be adoctor on board. Someone had taken careof me, someone knew I was there. Maybethe Coast Guard was coming for me at thisvery moment.

Once we reached the deck, I wasgrateful for both the hat and the jacket. Thewind was downright ferocious, and whenit bounced from the sea, the temperaturedropped dramatically. I turned my headaway as it made me shiver. Men, allwearing safety helmets and life vests,

were scattered around, some busyingthemselves with tools, others doing thingswith cables and wires that I didn’tunderstand. I wanted to pretend they wereall props in some great lie, that they werepart of this practical joke being pulled onme, that maybe I was hallucinating, or hadfallen down the rabbit hole.

Beyond and around them lay theawesome, unending sea in rays of blue andblack.

He hadn’t been lying after all.Overwhelmed with nausea, I ran from

Charlie and over to the edge. One of themen looked at me strangely but didn’t sayanything. The sounds of hammering and

brushing were terrible. How did thesepeople work like this all day? I tried tofigure if Dad would go into the office withme still gone. Oh God, poor Dad. He mustbe worried out of his mind. I stared intothe vague blue of the sea and tried to sendhim a psychic message. I knew that stuffwasn’t real, but it was as good a time asany to doubt myself.

“You ain’t gonna jump, right? ‘Cause Iain’t a great swimmer.”

I glared at Charlie. He was strugglingto light a cigarette against the lashing ofthe wind. I yanked it from his mouth andthrew it into the sea.

He stared at me, slack-jawed and

silent.“Did I hear you say Singapore back

there?” I hissed. “Did I hear you say sixdays?”

He just smiled and pulled out anothercigarette from his pocket. “Unless you’rea great swimmer, then…” I threw the newone as well.

“Yeah.” He finished his thought andstared back and forth from me to his hands—amazed by the disappearance.

I put my head between my legs andtried deep calming breaths. It wasn’tdoing much good; I was officially freakingout and becoming dizzy from my panic.

“What then?” I asked.

“The American embassy is real closeto the port. You can go straight there.”

I stood back up and looked him in theeye, wanting, needing to know the answer.“How do I know you or someone elsewon’t kill me before then?”

His eyes narrowed and he reached fora cigarette, but then smiled and put thepack away. “Guess you don’t.”

I wanted to say something else, butcouldn’t think of anything clever enough.That alone bothered me. Why should Icare what this kidnapper, thief, who-knows-what-else, thought of me? Socialnorms don’t apply when you’ve beentaken hostage, right? Still, I couldn’t

disengage that part of my psyche thatsearched for a better way to insult him.Instinctually, I felt as though I would beable to let go easier of those socialproperties if it wasn’t for him. By offeringme some safety, he was already takingaway my option to feel like a victim. Andlike the topic of Mom, the mere idea of itmade me uncharacteristically angry.Perhaps knowing how unreasonable it wasmade it that much worse. I tried to thinkback and remember when a singleindividual had riled me so much in such ashort amount of time, but couldn’tremember anyone.

“She’s alive! She’s alive!” A pair of

hands grabbed me by the shoulders andalmost sent me jumping out of my skin.

“Hey, take it easy.” Charlie punchedat the life vest Yuri was wearing and hetook mock swings back.

Oh, they are trying to kill me, Idecided—by heart attack.

“Despite your people’s best efforts.” Ibundled the jacket around me, as it wasmuch too large, and wrapped my armsaround myself. I could feel the warmth ofCharlie inside—No, Addie, no. Stop that.

Yuri smiled and put his hand onCharlie’s shoulder. “Hey, you were rightabout this one.”

I glared back and forth between them

but thought better than to say anything.Yuri took off his working gloves,

which were black and rusty at thefingertips.

“You know, you’re pretty lucky, LittleGirl.”

I looked back at Charlie. His eyesoffered no explanation.

“The way Wallace bashed your headin and had that chokehold on you, wethought you were worms’ meat.” His laughwas menacing and it was enough to chillmy spine. “The only reason Ben agreed tolet you come aboard was so that when youdid keel over, we could just throw youoverboard. Real easy.” The loud snap of

his fingers at the end of his explanationwas enough to make me nauseous again.“We left so much evidence at the housewe thought that would at least be a quickfix.”

Charlie punched him for real this timeand Yuri stopped explaining. In allhonesty, I wasn’t paying much attention toeither of them anymore. I reached a handbehind my head and felt the sting there,winced at the pain, and again felt for thenewly formed knot. At least that explainedthe headache. But when had thathappened? I cringed to think of what elsecould have happened if Charlie hadn’tintervened.

“Right. Well, like I said, you’relucky.” Yuri put the gloves back on andwalked away.

I stared back out at the ocean and let itstare at me. Had I been so lucky? Ireviewed some of my theories from beforeand tried to conclude if I really was beingparanoid or not. I glanced over at Charlie,who had his arms leaning over the rails.

“Why are you doing this?”“What?”“Helping me. Why are you helping

me?”“I knew what you meant.” He smiled

just a little, his entertainment wasbecoming an increasing irritation.

And he looked at me then and I couldsee the colors light up in his eyes for just asecond before they dimmed. But it wasonly for a second and then it was gone.

“I don’t know,” he said finally.“If you people are trying to mess with

my mind or something, it won’t work.”His eyes tightened. “I ain’t got a clue

what you’re talking ‘bout.”I gulped and started stammering. If he

looked at everyone this way, it wasunderstandable why they kept theirdistance from him. “If this is some way toget me to trust you, or get StockholmSyndrome, it won’t work.”

“Huh?”

“You guys probably set up the entirething so Mister-Angry-Smash-Addie couldalmost kill me and you could save the dayjust in time and I’d feel loyal or obligatedto you or something. That’s howkidnappers do that sort of thing, right?”

For a moment he seemed confused, butthen his grip on the ledge tightened beforehe reached for a cigarette. This time I didnot deny him. And when the hardness setin his face and I remembered that darkedge I had seen him go over whenenraged, I pulsated with the possibilitythat he might drag me over it with him.

“All anybody ‘round here cares ‘boutis profit. Messing with people’s heads

wouldn’t do nobody any good.” Thedarkness seemed to fade out and I waswell-aware of my own relief. I saw hislips twitch up in a smile that promisedsomething fantastic and warm. “’Sides,ain’t nobody around here smart enough tothink of something like that anyhow.”

“Isn’t messing with people’s heads akey element in business?”

“How is messing with your headgonna help me?”

“Maybe you’re holding me forransom. Getting me to cooperate wouldmake your job considerably easier.”

His smile turned into a full-fledgedgrin. “Come on. I wanna show you

something.”Back inside his cabin, Charlie pulled

out a laptop from inside a plastic cratethat was covered with worn stickers andlabels that I couldn’t read. He sat on thebed and gestured for me to sit beside him.“We don’t got access for much longer, soyou better hurry up.”

I was reluctant to sit beside him forseveral reasons, the main one being howuncomfortable his physical presenceactually made me and the other involvedhow part of me wanted to take that seatnext to him.

His fingers typed away at the keys.While still looking at the screen, he said,

“I promise I won’t bite…unless you ask.”I rolled my eyes to make it very clear

I was disgusted, and then sat as far awayfrom him on the bed as I possibly could. Ididn’t want him to know he affected me.At the same time I was glad the oversizedjacket covered the blush that spreadacross my arms. I folded my legs while hehanded me the laptop. I was amazed to seemy name in so many of the blue links, mostof them from trusted news providers.

“What—”He started to laugh. “You’ve been

front page news for the last day or so.”I scrolled down the page of the search

engine and read the links. Most of them

were repetitive with titles like: “LocalTeen Gone Missing,” “ProgenyHomeschooled Student Missing fromFilling Station,” and “Kidnapped Teenand Murder in Syracuse.” Beneath them insmall print I saw my name, which Charliehad typed in the search engine. I clickedon a few, but they only relayedinformation I already knew. It was onlythe articles filed within the last few hoursthat really intrigued my interest.

“Suspect in Battes Kidnapping”

Syracuse, NY— Withcooperation from local authorities,FBI officials have obtained video

documentation of missing teenagerAdeline Battes recorded within anhour of her father reporting herdisappearance. Miss Battes is viewedon security camera footage speakingwith a male whom authorities haveidentified as Charles Hays, who isnow wanted for questioning in theBattes kidnapping and whose arrestwarrant is also being issued fornumerous parole violations.

Hays, convicted of voluntarymanslaughter, felony theft, andunlawful weapons possession, is awell-known associate of alleged artthief and illegal tradesman Benjamin

Walden. Walden and Hays were bothincarcerated at Riverbend MaximumSecurity Institution. Walden wasconvicted of second degree murder in1996. He was paroled in 2010, butfailed to maintain contact with thestate and remains at large. Hays,paroled in 2009, has also failed tomaintain the terms of that paroleagreement, and has now beenpositively identified by witnesses andcamera footage as the male MissBattes was speaking with.

Both men are consideredextremely dangerous and should notbe approached under any

circumstances. Any citizen with anyinformation should contact their localauthorities or FBI office.

I clicked the back button and looked

over at Charlie. His expression ofcomplete apathy made me tremble. CouldI really be in the presence of a killer?

“Is that stuff true?”He shrugged. “You can’t believe

everything you read.”“Are you a murderer?”His eyes searched mine for the right

answer. When he couldn’t decide what itwas, he was honest instead. “Only when Igot to be.”

My throat felt like it was closing upon me. “Are you going to kill me?”

“I thought I made it real clear I wasn’tgonna do that.”

“Why?” Why was I arguing? I had noidea but the question blurted out of mebefore I had time to stop it.

He seemed to enjoy my interrogation,“ ‘Cause I don’t kill girls.”

“That’s sexist.” I frowned.He started laughing. “Are you

complaining?”“I guess not.” I couldn’t help it. His

laugh made me smile. “It’s still sexist.”“’Sides,” he said, taking the laptop,

“you make me laugh.”

I wasn’t sure if it was a complimentor insult. “Um, thanks?”

“And…” He stretched out the word inan exaggerated fashion and leaned overme just slightly. I pretended to flinchaway. Under normal circumstances itmight appear as though we were flirting. Isuppose it was entirely possible that wewere, though I was leaning more towardmy lack of sanity. “You can’t kill a deadgirl.”

He laughed at my expression andtyped something else into the searchengine. “This stuff is hilarious.” Then hehanded me back the computer and waitedimpatiently for my reaction.

“Kidnapping Victim Feared Dead”

Less than 48-hours after AdelineBattes was reported missing from arest stop outside of Syracuse NewYork, FBI investigators discoveredthe body of auto body truck driver,Spenser Hanson in the empty cab ofhis vehicle. Investigators have alsolearned that nearly one-half of amillion dollars in electronic partsbeing carried were now unaccountedfor. From there, authorities gaineddescriptions of Charles Hays, who isnow the prime suspect in relation tothe kidnapping of Adeline Battes (see

above), and is now being investigatedfor charges related to domesticterrorism and murder.

Early this morning, localauthorities and FBI agents followedevidence that led them to anabandoned home in Staten Island,New York, where forensics teamsfound both the finger prints ofBenjamin Walden and Charles Hays,in addition to the blood and hairfollicles of Adeline Battes.Additional evidence also shows thatthe other individuals may have beenworking to create some sort ofexplosive device within the basement

of the house.An anonymous statement from a

junior FBI agent says, “Given theamount of blood found at the scene, itis unlikely that Miss. Battes is stillalive. These aren’t the kind of peopleto leave witnesses. We need to makethe explosives a priority now beforemore lives are lost.”

“This is a nightmare.” I ran my fingers

through my hair. Walking around and thefresh air had helped my headache, butwith this new bombardment ofinformation, I could feel the sharp sting atthe back of my skull flaring up again.

“Really?” Charlie said, “I think it’spretty funny.”

I glared at him. “Oh yeah? Do your—”I chose my words carefully, “—colleagues think it’s so funny?”

“Nah, they’re real mad. But they’ll getover it.”

I clicked out of the link and tried toopen up my e-mail. Charlie had thecomputer out of my hands and into his ownbefore I could hit the caps lock.

“Hey, what are you doing?”“I have to contact my Dad. He has to

be going crazy!”He jumped up with the laptop and

crossed the room, eager, it would seem, to

get away. “Sorry, can’t let you do that.”“Are you freaking kidding me?” Was

this another attempt at humor? If Dadhadn’t had a heart attack by now, healmost certainly would if he didn’t hearfrom me before the end of six days. Thefear for my family instinctually overcamethe fear for my personal safety and gaveme a temporary dosage of bravery. “Hethinks I’m dead. You can’t do this to him.It’s cruel!” I reached for the computer, butanticipating my move, he prevented mefrom even coming close.

“He doesn’t think you’re dead.” Helaughed as I tried to grab for it, jumpingfor it while he held it above his head. I

dived for it when he hid it behind hisback. It didn’t help that his arms were somuch longer and stronger than mine, but Istill shoved and kicked against him. Iknew he was a killer now, they all were.It didn’t matter, I wouldn’t and couldn’tlet Dad suffer like that.

“He knows you ain’t dead, okay? Justrelax for a second.” He was trying to keephis voice serious, but I could hear thelaughter in his words.

I stopped reaching for the laptop, butonly because I wanted to hear what he hadto say, not because I was actuallyfollowing his instructions.

“What do you mean?”

“He gave a press release a couple ofhours after that one came out. Called thecops a bunch of idiots, said there wasn’tno way you were dead and the F.B.I wasincompetent if they thought that.” Helaughed again. “It was great.”

In spite of myself I did feel somerelief. What he was describing soundedlike typical Dad behavior. I was glad heknew I was still alive somehow. And Ieven felt a touch of pride at his fatherlydenial. But I couldn’t excuse the horror hewas probably going through. He may havesensed I was alive, but he didn’t know Iwas well. I instantly hated thehelplessness that resided there. He didn’t

even have Robbie to keep him in goodspirits.

“They’ll be tracing any account linkedto you, so you can’t be contactingnobody.” He pulled out the small Wi-Ficard from the side of the computer andplaced it in his pocket. “Sorry, but that’show it is. Something else and I’ll try tohelp, if I can. Can’t do nothing ‘bout thatone, though.”

“Please,” my voice was small,scrunched up from my insides. “Just—justgo away.”

I didn’t know what to think when hiseyes narrowed again and his shoulderstensed. I backed away as slowly as I

could and slid down to the floor. Thefresh air had somewhat helped my achinghead, but the pain still throbbed there, mypulse beating against the base of my skull.

Charlie moved swiftly to the crate andforcefully yanked one of its drawers open.The sudden movement made the pulse ringlouder in my ears and I felt myself winceat the sound. It was followed by a sort ofrattling as Charlie produced a white bottleof tablets.

“Here,” he said, tossing them in mydirection

I recognized the label as a popularbrand of aspirin, one that we might haveeven had at home, but I was still reluctant

to pick them up. Maybe he was trying topoison me after all.

“No, thank you,” I snappedHe opened his mouth to say something

but changed his mind. Instead, he justsmiled and shook his head. I couldn’t helpbut notice the few strands of hair that fellin front of his eyes. I had a very real urgeto put them back into place or maybe runmy hands through his hair once more.

I turned away, ashamed of thecompulsion and yet I could feel his eyeson me, boring holes through my flesh Iwanted to scream, I wanted to run. Yet Iknew there was nowhere to go.

“Please,” I tried again, “leave me

alone.”After he left I waited a respectable

amount of time before I let the situationsink in. I had to survive on this shipanother six days. That could be easyenough, but these people had given metheir word once before and that hadn’texactly turned out well. Six days was lessthan a single week, about 144 hours. Icould handle that, right?

I felt the self-hatred expand on myinsides again. Normally I was so puttogether, so thought out. What in the hellhad I been thinking? Or maybe moreimportantly, what could I have donedifferently to not have ended up here? I

should have tried harder to escape fromthe abandoned house, or fought harderwhen I first fled from the SUV. I rubbedmy temples and considered thepossibilities. I could have grabbed a pieceof the glass from the floor, looked forsomething to write on the wall with sosomeone might have known I had beenthere but then after finding my blood theyhad already known I was there…Ishivered at the idea of what the crimescene probably looked like.

At least then I didn’t give in to thetears. My anger was too ferocious to letme cry, at least not then. I could blamemyself, and I probably would for the rest

of my life—regardless of how short itmight be. But the true fault lay in thedeviousness of my abductors. What didthese people think a teenage girl could doto them, anyway? Even if I had gone to thepolice with what I saw, they probablywouldn’t have taken a teenager seriously.

I was gnashing my jaws together as Islid further down, adjusting myself so Iwas completely on the floor. Charlie waspossibly the worst of them all—showingme some of what the media had to say,letting me in on the Internet access, only todeny me the smallest contact with Dad,which could be a great source of comfortto him in the days to come. Maybe it was a

sick kind of game to him, a way of gettingpeople’s hopes up and then watching themsink like so many stones into the ocean.

And why hadn’t they just dumped meoverboard when they had the chance? Myfamily didn’t have any money; they mustknow that by now. I was still somewhatconfident that my body was safe, but mymind couldn’t formulate reasons why theywould bother keeping me alive at all if Iwasn’t any use to them. I considered whatCharlie said about a murder convictionand trembled at the thought. I pictured Dadon the steps of some courthousedemanding justice for a dead daughter. Sothey hadn’t killed me for any sort of

morality, but merely for practicality’ssake.

None of them wanted to go back toprison.

I closed my eyes and listened to thesounds of the ship. The nausea hadreceded and for that I was grateful. I hadhoped this meant I neither had aconcussion nor seasickness, though timewould tell.

The coolness of the floor felt goodagainst my scalp. And though my bodybegged for more sleep, the little switch ofcommon sense in my mind told me to keepvigilant, reminding me I was not in a safeplace. I opened my eyes again and stared

at the dim light of the desk lamp. Though itdidn’t offer much, I deemed it efficient forthe little room.

I sat up slowly and pulled the lamp upto the bed. I reached for the piles ofpapers and notebooks. I knew I shouldn’tlook through them, after all, what if theywere some intimate correspondence andreading them guaranteed my death? Still,reason hadn’t exactly been my forte in thelast 24 hours. Yet I felt entitled to this. Ifthey held information that could give meinsight into my abductor, I had a right tothem, didn’t I?

So even though I could feel myselfbiting my lip, a sign that something was

amiss, I reached for one. I did take asecond and third glance at the door toassure myself no one would come ragingin as I curled up with a notebooks. As Iopened the front cover and my handexplored the thin paper, I understood itwas actually a sketchbook.

Inside, nearly every page was full ofsome image or another. It seemedstrangely intimate looking through thosedrawings—almost like seeing someonewithout their clothes on. The first was theintricate drawing of a sunrise, the ripplesof the ocean were shadowed withwhitecaps and some kind of bird wasflying in the distance. The one that

followed was a field of trees that lookedlike they were just coming into bloom,then there was an antique car, an emptydock…

I traced my index finger just above thelines of each sketch and tried to imaginethe picture in my head. I attempted to thinkabout the artist and the great pride anddetail he had put into every sketch. Orhow he might have agonized over whichline to make as a figure was shaped. Itwas better than thinking about how hemust have been parted from his artwork.

I had to figure Charlie had probablystolen these from a poor struggling artiston some other smuggling adventure. For

some reason, the idea pained me terribly.But it was only too easy to see him takingsomething he wanted for wanting’s sake.In the pit of me, I felt a pain rise at theknowledge. It was a shame beyond shameto claim something so lovely just forhimself, to not share it with others. It mademe angry; another offense to add to hislist.

But then I scolded myself. I thoughtperhaps maybe I was being too harsh. Iturned over the back of the sketchbook andlooked for a price tag or an artist’s label,anything that would suggest someone hadgiven it willingly. There was nothing but afew smudges of lead.

I continued to look through thesketches; some of them appearedunfinished or erased beyond the point ofno return, but no less loved in theirloveliness. One in particular that struckme was a view of a ship’s deck withpouring down rain during the night. Therewere no people in the sketch, no animalsor objects, just the dark and the rain. Iadored how the edges of the drawing werecurled from being wet and some spots oflead had clearly been smudged by thedrops of water. Looking at it, I couldalmost feel the cold of the night the wateron my face.

After awhile, I picked up another

sketchbook and examined those sketchesas well. I saw a variety of landscapes andabstract designs, what I thought might havebeen Reid face down on a table of cards,a baby wearing sunglasses and chewing abuilding block…

I looked at them over and over again,hypnotized by every point the pencil madeand each specific aspect of the pictures. Istared at each one until my eyes hurt.

Then I blinked, rubbed my eyes, andstudied them more.

I was looking through the fourthsketchbook when I saw the first one. Imust have been in the deep throes ofunconsciousness, as my eyes appeared

fastened shut by the dark shadows he’ddrawn. My hair was matted like finepieces of string into the pillow beneath it.He must have sketched it from the all toorecent events. The sketch that came after itwas similar, only he had shaded in thebackground beyond my lifeless form,making it just as dark there as it had beenwhen I first awoke in Charlie’s room.

He had been drawing me while I layin the Nothingness. Was it boredom whilewaiting for me to die that inspired him?The moment I thought it, I knew it couldn’tbe true—this drawing of me wassomething beautiful, something so unlikemy true self image, that it seemed obscene

to compare the two. These criminals werepractical. Beauty and practicality don’tmix.

It made me think that the media hadexaggerated the things he’d done, as I wasso quick to do. Yet Charlie admittedhimself that he intentionally had causedphysical harm, ending lives when properlyprovoked. And above all, I couldn’t forgetthat anger, the flash of rage when he wascrossed the wrong way. I couldn’t denythat the temper within him frightened me.

It was some time later when I heardthe knock at the door. At first it was sosoft that I wasn’t quite sure I had heard it.

I put my head back on the pillow andcontinued to look through the sketchbook.It was the fourth time I had looked at thisone, but it was quickly becoming myfavorite. It was mostly filled with sceniclandscapes, and thanks to the talent of theartist and my own imagination, I couldshut my eyes and easily transport myselfthere. I was about to go back to anunidentified winter wonderland when theknock came again, this time louder andmore desperate.

I bolted upright and accidentlydropped the sketchbook on the floor. Themoment it landed, the knocking stoppedand I heard large, heavy steps outside the

door. They sounded impatient, eager. Theoptions were flight or fight and I didn’texactly have anywhere to run. So I tried tobe resourceful and look for a weapon.Where there were drawings there wouldbe drawing utensils, right? Sharp things.

My heart was throbbing inside mebefore I even understood I was terrified.Who would come for me now? Wouldthey each take turns trying to kill me?

I approached the door slowly. Mypulse raged in my ears again and I shookmy head, trying to ignore it as best I could,though it was exceedingly difficult. Itseemed as soon as my hand was withinreach of the door I saw a shadow from the

other side collapse slightly. I inhaledsharply and tried to steady myself.

Someone was waiting for me to comeout.

I carefully put my ear to the door andtried to determine how many of them wereout there. I already knew Wallace wasgood at sneaking around, so it waspossible he was out there, but it wasdifficult to figure out who else.

A heavy step came closer to the door,revealing the shadow of two large feet. Asfar as I could see there was only oneperson, not that the numbers made anydifference. I had already proven I wasn’tvery capable of defending myself. I stifled

back another sob and covered my mouth tomask the sound. If nothing else, I wouldn’tgive whoever was there the pleasure ofknowing how terrified I was. As I did so,I could smell clove and aftershave fromthe other side of the door.

I nearly cried from relief. If Charliewas there, then I was safe.

I played back the thought in my head,Charlie would keep me safe. I smiled andslid down against the door. Six days, Ithought. Okay, I can handle this.

With a great deal of amusement Iwatched the shadows of his feet as theypaced back and forth past the door. Icouldn’t figure out what he was doing, but

every so often I would hear his bootsmash up against the floor, followedalmost immediately by the smell of afreshly lit cigarette. He continued to dothis for quite some time. So much so, that Isettled myself on my stomach on the bedand watched the feet shadows move,counting the number of paces I could hearbefore they stopped and started again. Thesteps were almost the same on each side,rhythmic in a way. It made me want toknow if he was counting, too.

I don’t know how much time passedbefore the pacing stopped and theknocking started again. Although I feltconsiderably better about him, I still knewbetter than to let him in. And yes, I was

aware he could have easily broken downthe door or used a key if he wanted—but Ihoped he wouldn’t. I had a very strongfeeling he would stay away as long as Iasked him to.

It was strange that he was being kindto me, or at least as kind as a murdererand a kidnapper could be. There weresome reasons I could gather as to why myabductors had allowed me to live so far.But this odd sort of protectiveness thatCharlie watched over me with seemed tobe something different. And while Iwanted to continue questioning it, I alsodidn’t want to push any remaining luck Ihad.

I opened the door slowly with an

underlined caution that I knew I’d have tokeep with me for the next several days. Asmall slant of fluorescent light pierced theroom and ruined any effect the shadowsmay have had. I took a deep breath andopened the door all the way.

Charlie wasn’t there. In his place wasa small offering of a pre-packaged meal, awater bottle, and a snack cake.

I smiled but quickly scolded myself incase someone may have been watching.Even though my stomach protested, Idecided to leave the food there. Though Iwas over the suspicion of being drugged, Idid this mostly because I didn’t want toacknowledge that I needed his or anyoneelse’s help. It was one thing to be a

prisoner, a hostage, but I wasn’t going tobe compliant. I wouldn’t let them knowhow much I was truly indebted to theircare. The other reason was morepractical, though related to the first. I hadno idea where any sort of facility was if Ineeded one, and while I would have tofind a bathroom and even a showereventually, I couldn’t find it in my pride todo it just yet.

So I shut the door behind me andlocked it quickly, enjoying the sound ofthe click that left me to the pale light andsketchbooks. I felt secure with them. Inour few hours together we had formed asort of bond with each other, seen thesame places and traveled the same roads.

I sat with one of them and flipped throughits tapered corners. The illustrations I sawthere made me think of Charlie Hays andthe first words he had spoken to me aboutDa Vinci’s Vitruvian Man.

Man’s perfect balance.

W

Chapter 5

hen I woke up later, I guessed it wasmorning, though it was hard to tell. Irubbed the sleep from my eyes andstretched until I heard my back pop. Iinstantly felt the ache in my throat and the

thirst for water was nearly unbearable. Ifelt the back of my head and winced at theknot. My head was definitely bruised andswollen under my hair. I tried not to thinkabout what a mess I really was andinstead stared longingly at the lockeddoor. Would the water still be there?Would Charlie? I feared the answer toboth and yet my thirst begged to bequenched. The idea of food also made mystomach grumble at me angrily, a reminderthat I hadn’t eaten in quite a long time.How much longer could I continue topretend like I didn’t require basicnecessities?

I ran my fingers through the tangles of

my hair, watching some flakes of driedblood fall to the floor and wincing everytime I combed through a tender spot. WhenI was somewhat satisfied that it waspresentable, I walked to the door andopened it.

The food and water were gone, but inits place, Charlie sat to the right of thedoorway. His legs were folded underhimself, his neck tilted off to the side.Although I wasn’t surprised to see him, Istartled anyway. It was strange to see himlike that, smaller than himself, so still andsettled.

It took me a moment to realize he wasasleep. At first I thought he might have

been faking it; trying to catch me off guard.But as I watched the slow rise and fall ofhis chest, I understood that the sort ofconcentration he would need to displaywould probably be too elaborate to fakesleeping.

I knelt down beside him but kept myhand on the door knob just in case I had torun back in the room. There wasn’t anyoneelse around that I could tell, but I wasn’tgoing to be stupid about things either andthrow all caution away.

I looked him over from the edge of hisbrow to the end of his worn steel toeboots. He was wearing the same clothesfrom the day before (at least I thought it

was the day before). He also hadn’tshaved yet and had the brim of a 5 o’clockshadow starting to show. His hair wasunbrushed, though not nearly as messy asmine. I shook my head and ignored theurge to straighten it—attempting instead,to admire my handiwork with the slightbruise at the bridge of his nose.

I bit my lip. I couldn’t make myself beproud that I had damaged such a perfectnose.

Sighing, I looked behind me and thenback to Charlie. As far as prison guardsgo, I truly couldn’t complain. He had beenunmistakably gentle with me when theoccasion called for it, not to mention

respecting my requests. I only hoped thatwhen we docked, he and the others wouldkeep their word and let me go home. Ifthey wanted my silence, I was more thanhappy to let them have it. All I wantedwas to get out of there.

“Hey.”His eyes fluttered open. I gasped,

taken aback by the specks of green I sawin them.

“Hey.” My voice was still a croak.“Did you know Twinkies don’t really

last forever?”Twinkies? What in the hell was he

talking about?“Can’t say that I did.” I spoke slowly

and carefully—best not to make anysudden movements around the crazy man.

“Yep. The forever thing is urbanlegend. They only got a shelf life of amonth or so.”

He frowned, and while he rose fromthe floor, I jumped back. He paused; hisface blank. We stood facing each otherand I could smell the musk of him soclearly it made me dizzy.

“I was starting to think you had kickedit in there.”

I scoffed. “Well, I didn’t.”“I’m glad.”I rolled my eyes. “Wouldn’t that make

your life easier?”

His eyes narrowed at me. “What doyou mean?”

“No more overnight prison guardduty.”

Charlie’s face went tense. The veinsin his neck bulged slightly with that not sofar off fury and his eyes shot fire. I backedslightly into the door, caught by howquickly his temper had taken him.

“I—” I got the impression that hetoiled with himself and the words, atestament to the anger he tried to control.He dropped his eyes and lookeduncomfortable then, like I had caught himwith something he wasn’t supposed tohave. He reached for the back of his neck

and rubbed the soreness there. It was easyto imagine how sore he probably wasfrom spending the night sleeping in thehallway.

“I didn’t want nothing bad to happento you.”

I released the doorknob as a new sortof shame flooded me. It had neveroccurred to me that Charlie hadn’t justbeen keeping me in. He had also beenkeeping intruders out. I crossed my armsover my chest and tried to smile.

“Oh.”It was all I could think to say, but it

seemed to be enough. Charlie relaxedconsiderably and smiled just enough to

show a flash of teeth. My heart skippedcompletely.

“’Sides, seeing as how you’re nothingbut trouble and you’re probably gonna dosomething stupid, I figure I’m gonna haveto chase after you anyway. This just makesit a lot easier for me.”

He had a point. I had caused aconsiderable amount of trouble for theboth of us. What could I do now but stayout of the way as best I could until ourtime was over? At the least, I knew I hadCharlie on my side, and I wouldn’t doanything to mess that up.

“You don’t have to chase me.” I triedto sound resolved but my words came out

as a whisper.“Planning on starving yourself to

death then?”I broke his gaze, the stare becoming

too much for me. Those eyes of his weremore than just kaleidoscopes, they weremind teasers, trying to seduce me withsome corrupt pattern.

“I wasn’t hungry.” I crossed my armsover my chest, hoping somehow that theywould help conceal the noise eruptingfrom my stomach every so often.

And yet he moved closer to me then,his face erupting into an openly crookedsmile. “Do yourself a favor, Vicious. Savethe lying for the liars.”

I smiled. I simply couldn’t helpmyself.

“Fine, I am hungry.” I confessed. “Butfood isn’t my priority right now.”

He pulled a phone from his pocket andglanced at it. “We missed breakfast—”

“What time is it?”“After 11.”“Yikes.”He smiled again and I felt myself

quiver. I told myself it was from hunger.He put the phone back in his pocket andlooked up at me.

“Food won’t be ‘round for ’while yet.What’ll you want ’til then?”

I put a hand in my hair and felt the

scrunch of dried blood there. Though Ihated to mention it, I knew the obviouscouldn’t be avoided forever.

“Okay.” I rotated my neck from side toside and tried to force a smile. “Well,what exactly are the bathingaccommodations?”

Astoundingly, the water was warm,even hot at some intervals, and it dulledmy aching muscles so that I almost didn’tfeel them anymore. I had found someliquid hand soap that I decided to use asboth shampoo and soap, and while itdefinitely wasn’t ideal, it was better thannothing. Besides, Charlie had sworn he

would guard the only door of thecommunity showers, and again I wanted tobelieve him.

I blamed the head wound.Still though, the idea of being exposed

around all these strangers made meuneasy. So I made record time through theentire showering process, barely taking inthe smell of bleach or the feel of the slimywalls. It reminded me of the times atsummer camp when we were advised tokeep our water shoes on—I left mysandals on in this shower, too.

I didn’t have a towel or fresh clothes,but I still felt better. I didn’t want to bebare for any longer than I had to be, so I

quickly put on my clothes even though theywere soiled and the back of my shirt wasspeckled with blood.

My blood.Inspecting my tank top was a jolt. The

color of the dried crimson looked so bleakagainst the white of the fabric. I ran myfingers over the small dots then touchedthe back of my head where water stillfreely dripped. It occurred to me that Ishould be very grateful to be alive, but Icouldn’t help but be mad at myself. Whyhadn’t I just kept walking when I heardthose gunshots?

A knock on the doors startled me frommy stupor.

“Okay in there?” Charlie called.“Um…yeah, fine,” I croaked.I opened the door and there he was,

bouncing from foot to foot. I saw the endof a cigarette on the floor and thebeginning of a second in his mouth.

“Better?” he asked.“Yeah…thank you.”He nodded and smiled at me, a gesture

that made my heart beat faster than Iwanted it to. I had to distract myself.

“You shouldn’t smoke so much.” Ishook some of the water from my hair.

“You shouldn’t wander ‘round truckstops at night.”

I glared at him and tried to look mad

but instead wrung my hair out and flungsome of the water out in his direction.“Touché, sir.”

I followed him back to the cabin andtried to remember my way. Luckily, wedidn’t come into contact with anyone,although Charlie said that midday andmidnight were some of the busiest times,so they were probably the safest times forme to be wandering around. Still, aroundevery bend he insisted I stay behind himand he took the extra precaution of lookingboth ways to make sure there was no onecoming when we crossed the stairways.

Once inside the cabin, my eyes had toreadjust to the pale light. In the hallway

everything was lit by fluorescent bulbs,but Charlie’s cabin only offered the stalelighting of the lamp. It made me feelcramped and confined. I stretched my armto the wall and tried to picture a windowthere but my mind couldn’t manage it.

When I turned and saw him sitting onthe bed next to his stack of papers, heseemed more relaxed than I had everknown him to be. He had a notebook onhis lap and a pencil in his hand, furiouslyworking away at the paper, doingsomething I couldn’t see. Every fewseconds he looked up at me.

I stared back.“Huh?”

“What are you doing?”“Nothin’, just hold still for a minute.”“If you’re doing nothing, then why do I

need to hold still?”He responded by scratching the tip of

his nose and rotating his wrist. When Ilooked back at his face he had smudges oflead on his nose and chin.

“What are you laughin’ for?” he askedwhen I started to giggle.

I covered my mouth. “Nothing.”I quickly grew impatient and

ambushed the notebook, which he tried tokeep away from me.

“You had better not be doing what Ithink you’re doing.”

“No! It ain’t finished yet!”I sat next to him on the bed and settled

for wiping the lead from his nose, an actthat unsettled us both. He watched me withwide eyes that threatened to unhinge theframe of me—in this light he looked kind;his irises were now a soft cerulean.

“Thanks.”“You looked ridiculous.”“I’ve heard that ‘afore.”We both laughed.“You’re movin’ your mouth too

much.”I almost choked. “Excuse me?”“You can’t talk if I’m sketching ya. It

messes it up.”

I smiled. “I thought you said youweren’t doing anything.”

“Just stay still for five minutes, willya?”

It was really much longer than fiveminutes, but I was desperate for adistraction. I focused all my energy onremaining as motionless as I possiblycould, trying to pretend I was a statue orone of those ugly ceramic figurines Momused to buy from yard sales. It was betterthan thinking of Robbie and if he wouldstill deploy on time. Would the fewacquaintances and professors I knew fromschool care that I was missing? WouldDad tell Aunt Maggie? Or would he avoid

it, knowing it would probably onlydeteriorate her health? I wanted to laugh—it was probably the only time in my lifethat it was good to have so few peoplethat cared about me.

“Are you done yet?”“Almost.” His brow was furrowed

and his back was hunched. He bit his lipwith such concentration I thought he mightbite a hole through it. As he worked, Ithought about the other sketches of me.Though I wanted to ask him about them, Istill didn’t feel comfortable about it. Iresolved to put it off until later, tellingmyself that I had enough time to get aroundto it.

“How about now?”He smiled. “Yeah, I’m done.”I felt as though I had to be careful with

the flimsy pages. It was easy to see he haddone something amazing in such a shortamount of time. Charlie had made animage of me. Well, almost me. And yet itwasn’t me at all…it was so much morethan me, it was better than me a thousandtimes over. And while I could see piecesof my features at the foundation, every lineand smudge was according to some granddetail that was beyond any genuinedepiction of myself. Everything wasilluminated by the shadows he created onthe surface of the figures that made me up.

“Wow.” I was breathless. “This is…incredible.”

He stood up quickly and took acigarette from his pocket. From the cornerof my eye I saw that he looked at it for amoment but then put it back. Instead, hetook a torn duffle bag from under the bedand began throwing clothes inside.

“Yeah, yeah.”“I mean it.” I slid off the bed to get a

better look under the lamp. “How did youdo this?”

“Do what?”I flipped the book upside down. It

even looked amazing from this angle.“Make me look this good?”

His smile became sly, dangerouslyclever. “I just draw what I see, is all.”

I swallowed hard and tried to pretendlike I was brushing the hair behind myears. There was no way he couldn’t haveseen me blush in that small space.

I put the sketchbook down andreached for my sling bag hanging on theback of the door. I have never in my lifebeen so relieved to have my hairbrush. Idetangled the unruly mess of knots asgently as I could and wished forconditioner. It was only then that I noticedwhat Charlie was packing.

“Um, wh-what are you doing?” Anew, unequivocal anxiety found me with

the two concepts of Charlie and awaycombining. I didn’t like the idea ofCharlie going anywhere, at least, notwithout me. Even though he was thereason I was there and that my life hadbeen put in serious jeopardy, my instinctstold me he was honest. Well…as honestas a thief could be. And given that I had noother choices at that moment, thoseinstincts would have to be good enough.

“Across the hall. I’m takin’ Polo’scabin. You’ll, ah…stay here.”

I froze. “Wh-what about your otherfriends?” I thought about Wallace and putmy hand to my throat. Fear had no troubleclimbing back into my heart. I realized it

probably had never left. I didn’t evenwant to say his name out loud—like anurban legend, it might make him appear.

He read my mind again. “Wallaceain’t on this ship.” Charlie’s voice wasflat. “A lot of things were leadin’ up to it,but he ain’t working with us no more.”

I breathed a sigh of relief withouteven realizing it. I smiled and tried to getback to the conversation.

“If you take his cabin, where willPolo sleep?” It seemed like the next, mostlogical thing to ask.

His smiled widened a bit. “Whocares? It’s just Polo.”

Charlie broke out laughing and threw

the duffle bag over his shoulder. “He’s alittle slow sometimes. But he’s a good kid—he won’t hurt ya or nothin’.”

“Good to know.”There was a visible hesitation before

he walked out the door and for a terrifyinginstant I was afraid he would tie me upagain. I tried to think of reasons for himnot to. If I had to, I would plead a case formyself. I would probably beg if I had to.

“Am I a prisoner here?” In the end Iknew I would ask. No matter how foolishor obvious, I wanted a clear statement ofintention.

He paused again, his smile faded. “Igotta say yeah.”

A few minutes later I heard Charlie’sintense footsteps coming back. He hadreturned before I even had the opportunityto miss him, although during his shortabsence he had never left my thoughts.

Again I blamed the head wound.As soon as I realized it was him I

jumped to the door.“Knock, knock.”I tried to contain my smile. “What’s

the password?”I heard something similar to a grunt.

“I’m tryin’ real hard to be nice…”“Sorry, try again.”I could practically feel his eye roll

while his patience evaporated. I knew I

was pressing my luck with his goodhumor, but I also liked the feeling ofpushing the edge with him. It felt like asafe sort of dangerous, falling out of anairplane with a parachute.

“You wanna get some food?”I almost ran into his arms, as this was,

in fact, the password. “Yes! Yes! Amillion yeses! I could eat tree bark, I’m sohungry.” I opened the door and tried not toappear too excited, but my smile gave meaway.

This answer seemed to please him,and I saw the creases around his browrelax. It occurred to me to ask about whathad made his mood so sour in such a short

amount of time, but then I thought a part ofme might not want to know.

“Soup’s on.”I hesitated. “But aren’t I a

stowaway?”“Right now the first shift is on; most

of the crew is first, so they won’t be‘round the galley.”

“You guys do stuff around here…onthe ship?” He led me down a completelydifferent hallway from before, though tome they all looked the same. The hallswere a boring white, but every few yards,beneath a glass undercarriage, lay a fireextinguisher, and every door was painteda mundane gray. It made me realize that

even if I tried to commandeer a lifeboat(even if I had the slightest clue aboutboats), I was sure to get lost before evenreaching the deck.

“We got to,” he laughed. “Me and Bengot the shippin’ company in the pocket andBen is technically part owner, but forappearance’s sake, everybody works.”

“And that makes it easier to smugglethings from country to country,” I said. Hetapped the side of his head and winked,confirming my answer.

We continued to walk down a longcorridor with protruding electrical boxes.Just being near all that power made menervous.

“That truck I saw you guys stealingfrom,” I began, “what was in it?”

He frowned, then and looked aroundto make sure no one could hear what hewas about to say. “Mostly hard drives,graphics cards, fiber optic cables, someCPUs…”

“Wow,” I whispered.“Yeah, we only gotta make this trip a

couple times a year.”“I guess you wouldn’t need to do it

every day.” I didn’t know very much aboutthat kind of stuff but I did know it wasworth a lot of money, and I could onlyimagine what kind of income a couplecargo containers full of that kind of

inventory could bring to one’s bankaccount.

He held open a large white set ofsliding doors that were labeled Galleyjust above. “No need to be greedy,” hesaid.

I smiled back. “Funny, I never thoughtI’d hear that from a thief…”

“You’ll never know what you’ll hearfrom a thief,” said Reid, with a mouth fullof food. “That’s the point.”

I was taken aback when I saw himsitting there at the cafeteria-style tablelittered by graffiti profanity. I knew therewould be other people there, but Charliehad diverted my mind enough to forget

about the impending social awkwardness.Charlie shook his head and handed me aplastic bowl and a set of matching cutlery.On a set of industrial stoves, I could seesteaming pots and oversized spice racks.

I tried to seem brave while I walkedalong the outline of the galley. I watchedas Charlie got himself some food and triednot to seem obvious about it. He hadtucked a cigarette behind his ear and nowhis long fingers enclosed around the entirebottom of a bowl.

Suddenly, he looked up at me andsmiled. I smiled back but quickly lookedaway when I felt the blush spread. Tokeep it from going further I had to look

elsewhere. Around Charlie, there were acouple of countertops with grimymicrowaves. On a large bulletin boardthere were laminated documents aboutsafety precautions and avoiding foodpoisoning. Just outside I thought I couldhear a jackhammer…and I was desperateto focus on all of it instead of how much Iwanted to look back at his face.

“Here I thought Yuri was screwingwith me when he said you had made itthrough.” Reid’s loud interjectioninterrupted my inspection. He was eyeingme with the same sort of annoyance asbefore.

I took the lid off a pot of chowder.

Instead of thinking about how it mighthave been made, I scooped it into mybowl. “Sorry to disappoint.”

Charlie scoffed then and stuffed apiece of bread into his mouth. I put the lidback on and took a seat next to him.

The chowder, or whatever it wassupposed to be, was pretty tasteless, but itwas hot and filled my stomach enough tohelp me forget my troubles. I ate slowlyand carefully, somewhat fascinated by thelack of table manners both boys possessedas they shoveled food into their mouthsendlessly, bowl after bowl.

I stifled a laugh as Reid wiped hismouth on a piece of bread. I lowered my

head and stirred my spoon around theremains in my bowl. Next to me, Charliehit his chest and let out a belch.

Unable to control myself, I burst outlaughing.

“What?” Charlie asked; wiping hismouth on his sleeve.

“Hey!” Reid scowled at me. “Noteverybody went to charm school.”

It was with the harshness of his voicethat I began to comprehend what mypresence here meant to this group ofrenegades. While I was beginning to losemy fear of what they could do to me, theirfear of me was increasing. Charlie made itapparent that he wouldn’t allow me to be

harmed anymore than I already had. Andhis way around these men—even the waythey had described him in the media, hadportrayed him as a kind of leader. A sortof second-in-command to Ben Walden. Asit was, I very much doubted they would goagainst him, even if they did think I wouldgo flying to the authorities at the firstchance. No wonder they hated me. If Iwere in their shoes, I would naturally hateme, too. I had the potential to ruin them,and currently there was nothing they coulddo about it.

“Exactly,” I said, trying to make myvoice sound brave. “And it’s done Charliea world of good,” I patted him on the

head. “Just think how uncivilized he mightbe with it.”

Charlie glanced over at me and beforeI realized it, I was smiling back. Reidswore under his breath and got up foranother serving, kicking his chair in as hewalked away.

“You guys act like you’ve been raisedby wolves.”

He raised his eyebrows up and downplayfully. “Maybe we were.”

“Ha, ha.”The doors swung open, hitting the

wall loudly. Polo and Yuri walked in,yelling something about a horse andsomeone’s mother. I figured it was a joke

I didn’t want to hear the punch line to.“You’re an idiot; you need to stop

talking to me,” Yuri said to Polo.They smelled like sweat and oil. I felt

myself go still in my seat. I was justbeginning to adapt to my environment.Why did things have to change every fiveseconds?

Yuri got his wish when I turned myhead and Polo saw Charlie and me sittingtogether. He gasped like a cartooncharacter and rushed at us, practicallysliding into us both before Charlie heldout his hands to keep him back.

“Easy there, boy.”“Hi, you guys!” He knelt between us

and wrapped an arm around each of ourshoulders. From the corner of my eye Icould see Yuri and Reid glaring at us andwhispering back and forth.

“I’ve been wondering about you guysall day! Where’ve you been? Causingtrouble without me?” His laugh remindedme of a hyena.

“Strictly a trouble-free zone.” I triedto remove his arm without offending him,but he didn’t even seem to notice. Charlieshot me a sort of apologetic look and wentup for another serving.

The moment he was gone, Polo stolehis seat and scooted himself closer. “Ohman, oh man, oh man! It’s a real good

thing you didn’t die!” The unnaturalenthusiasm in his voice was symmetricalwith the tapping of his fingers on the tableand the endless stomping of his feet on thechair legs. His energy was contagious andI felt myself bucking up.

“Thanks, Polo. I think so, too.”“No, but like, really!” In addition to

everything else, he started swinging hishead back and forth. I thought with acouple of instruments he could be one ofthose one man bands carnivals are alwaysadvertising.

“If you had, I think Charlie wouldalike…killed everybody!” He spread histapping fingers across the table for

emphasis.I nodded, but didn’t really know what

he meant. With his childlike demeanor,there was a strong possibility that he wasprobably just confused or exaggerating.

Reid and Yuri came back but sat at theother side of the table as far away as theycould get. Charlie sat on the other side ofme. I was much more comfortable whenhe did. After a couple of minutes, thesilence was getting to me. For this, Ientirely blame my parents. They alwaysinsisted on those wholesome familydinners, the kind without television andlots of substantial conversation. I couldget that these guys spent most of their day

together, but eating in complete silencelike this was maddening.

I crunched on the crust of my breadand tried to laugh. “If any of you guys isthe chef, I could give you some pointers.”

Yuri wasn’t as obvious with hisscowl, but Reid slammed down his spoon,having no problems expressing himself.“Ungrateful little bitch! You reallycomplaining—”

“I wasn’t complaining.” Theeagerness to defend myself made mespeak before thinking. Needless to say, Iwas surprised that it shut him up. As Ilooked away, however, I realized itwasn’t my words that had made him

retreat, but the look on Charlie’s face. Itmade Reid back down instantly.

I couldn’t help but feel as though I hadonce again been the source of his anger.His eyes caught mine and softened slightly—I most desperately wanted to see himsmile.

“I didn’t realize you boys were sosensitive.”

Even Yuri laughed then.

“S

Chapter 6

orry ‘bout those guys.”In his cabin, Charlie smoked a

cigarette while sketching something in oneof his books. Meanwhile, I was sitting inthe corner working on my fifth, very sad

attempt to draw a smiley face with decenteyebrows.

I waved him away and began erasing.I thought maybe I should go back to stickfigures. “No one should be anymore sorrythan they have to be.” I paused,considering the work in front of me.“Well, that’s not true. I feel pretty sorryfor this smiley face right now.”

Again I felt Charlie’s smile on me.“I don’t blame them for hating me. I

would, too, if I were them.”“It’s me they’re sore at.” He rubbed

the cigarette butt out on the bottom of hisboot.

I looked up. “Can you blame them?”

“Guess not.” He took out aswitchblade from his pocket and begansharpening the pencil. I tried to rememberwhich pocket he had put the Wi-Fi card in,but for the life of me, couldn’t. It was thenI realized that I hadn’t even batted an eyewhen I saw him take out the knife andbegin working the point of the pencil. Itwas stupid of me not to be terrified ofsomething that could kill me; I registeredthe fact in my mind. Yet it didn’t weighagainst me—if given the choice, I knewCharlie alone wouldn’t hurt me.

“Where are you from?” I asked“Why do ya wanna know?”“Because I’m curious.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.”“It’s not fair that you can look up

almost anything about me, but I knowalmost nothing about you. Besides, I’mjust going to figure it out, anyway. I don’thave to tell you how helpful the Internetcan be.”

He sighed. “All over.”I looked at him and began tapping my

fingers. I could wait. And if I couldn’t, Icould start listing the names of states, theircapitals and cities, both major and minor,across the United States until he grewimpatient enough to give it away.

“You’re right.” It wasn’t what Iexpected to hear him say and I guess my

confusion must have shown.“When you go home…now that I’m a

big criminal and all, they’ll be saying allkinds of stuff ‘bout me.”

I shuddered at the thought. “I don’twant to imagine the kinds of things theymight be writing about me right now.”

He suddenly burst out laughing and litanother cigarette. “You’re kiddin’ me,right? Your America’s Sweetheart rightnow—pretty girl, good family, geniussmart. The only bad stuff their sayin’ is‘bout your Dad, ‘cause he’s cursing outthe cops.”

I turned my head and cleared mythroat, trying to make it sound like a laugh.

Of all the information he had given me, Icouldn’t get over that he had described meas attractive. Had he actually called mepretty or did the media just describe methat way? Logic suggested that he was justusing generalizations, but I still felt myselfgrow giddy at the idea. Or at least I think Idid—that couldn’t have been hope I wasfeeling, could it?

“I’m not ‘genius smart.’” I used airquotes for emphasis. “I just graduatedfrom high school early.”

He raised a single eyebrow. “An IQof 136?”

“My Mom rigged those. I’m sure ofit.”

He smiled and erased something fromthe sketch. “I doubt it.”

I turned over my paper and startedover. “Hmm…I’ve never heard of ‘allover,’ is that in the Northwest?”

He looked up from his sketch andgrinned his Charlie grin. It gave me a flushof happiness to realize I could identify hisgrin from that of any other.

“You always gotta be such a smart-ass?”

I smiled. “Only when I’ve beenabducted against my will.”

His smile fell then and I knew that I’dhit a sore spot. But maybe that was a goodthing. Realistically, we shouldn’t have

been enjoying each other’s company,laughing at one another, and mostespecially, feeling so comfortable. WhileI did feel safe around him and I wascertain he wouldn’t allow me to be hurt, Ihad to remind myself of why I was hereand who we were. For the next few dayswe could be cordial enough, but the factremained that we were not, and could notbe, friends.

“You’re putting me to shame overthere, aren’t you?” I tried to peek over thesketchbook, but he shielded itprotectively. I went back to drawing aChristmas tree, the only thing I knew howto draw with any symmetry.

My hand sculpted some cliché garlandand somewhat circular ornaments. Ialways thought Mom had been a littledisappointed that Robbie and I didn’treally show any natural talent towards art.She never intentionally showed it, ofcourse. But eventually her attempts at artand crafts became collages and aceaseless end of birdhouses and papiermâché abstractions. Besides, I was moreprone to art history, anyway. Mom, whokept scrapbooks of all the museums sheever visited, would adore a talent likeCharlie.

I took my paper and slid over next toCharlie. I then immediately scolded

myself for liking his scent: clove, soap,and the salt of the sea.

He flipped the sketchbook over so Icouldn’t see and took my drawing. Almostimmediately he erupted with laughter. Itwas a sweet and hearty sound, crisp withits musical quality.

“What?” I shrugged. “I told you Icouldn’t draw!”

He flipped it over and looked at thesmiley face attempt. “You weren’tkiddin’!”

“Ha, ha. Now quit avoiding myquestion and answer me.”

He stifled his laugher. “What?”“Where are you from?”

Pausing, he eventually answered,“South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee…”

“Were you a military kid?”“No.” The short simplicity of his

answer suggested the conversation mightbe over, but I wasn’t going to let him getaway that easy.

“How long were you in prison?”He hesitated before answering.

“Eleven years.”“So much for learning your lesson?” I

tried to laugh.He only nodded.“What about your family?” I asked.

“What do they think about what you do fora living?”

Immediately I knew by the rawexpression on his face that it was thewrong question to ask. His eyes becamesquinted lines in his face—he was tryingto hold something back, my guess wasrage.

“Don’t got any,” he said finally.But I wasn’t going to let that go,

either. On a technical level, everyone hadto have the minimum of a biologicalmother and father, and the mystery thatwas Charlie Hays was only growing withmy own personal fascination for him. Isuddenly wanted to know everything abouthim. Why had he moved around so much?What led him to a life of crime? I was

sure the marvel of it all would kill mebefore he would.

“When I first saw you together, Ithought you and Ben were brothers.”

He considered this. “We kinda are.All of us are.”

I laughed. “Were you always anorphan before you knew the guys?”

He pulled away from me then. Maybehe could see what I was trying to get outof him. He looked at me quizzically. Hiseyes seemed as though they were lookingfor something particular in mine.

“Why are you askin’ so manyquestions?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I think

maybe it’s the scientist in me…but itcould also be because I’m trying tounderstand. I’ve never met anyone likeyou before.”

He laughed. “A criminal, you mean?”“No. Well, yes…but I also mean you.”His face became unreadable,

completely expressionless. I tried to guessif he was angry at me or just plainannoyed. “I didn’t have an old man and myMa took off when I was real little.”

I tried chewing over that information.Losing Mom was hard enough, I couldn’timagine not having at least one of myparents.

“Who took care of you?”

“The state sometimes…”He smiled at me as if I had been privy

to an inside joke. “I’d get bored with thefamilies they’d stick me with and run offafter ’while.”

I smiled. “The ‘all over’ makes sensenow.”

“See, ya are a genius after all.”I tagged him in the arm, feeling

confident enough to attempt to change thesubject.

“So do you guys kidnap people all ofthe time, or am I your first attempt in thisracket?”

He glanced up at me, the corners ofhis mouth threatening a smile. “This is a

trial run. I figure the next one will have toactually be worth some money, not ask somany questions—”

I lost all of my humor and felt myselfgrow cold. “That isn’t funny.”

“Don’t worry.” He looked me up anddown. “You ain’t got any competition.”He laughed, but it was too hollow to haveany heart in it.

I also wanted to say something, but hebeat me to it. “Yeah, I know it ain’tfunny.”

I put my arms over my chest to bedefiant, but he just laughed and pushedsome of the hair away from my face. Igave in again, laughing along with him

while trying to pull together the largemounds of locks. “It’s horrendous, I know.I wish I had a hair-tie. I’d even settle for arubber band if you have one—”

Suddenly, a hair-tie appeared inCharlie’s hand. More amazingly, it wasthe same one that had fallen out during ourinitial struggle. He held it between histhumb and forefinger and dangled it asthough it were a delicacy. I held out myhand as he centered it in my palm. The tiewas covered in lead and dust, but I wasstill happy to have it. I closed my fingersaround it with only a fraction of Charlie’shand enclosed within my own. I couldhear his breath increase, but for the

moment I was focused only on his hand. Isaw small scars, some newer than others,with fresh cuts and scrapes on the surface.I felt the lead rubbing off on my skin fromthe same places where the calluses wereat their roughest. And there was asatisfaction in knowing that it wasn’t justship work that had earned him thesehands…

“I can’t believe you found this.” I letgo of his hand and set to work pulling upmy hair.

He coughed, picked up his sketchbookand started on a new page. My mane wasin desperate need of attention and my heartwas beating so fast I thought if I didn’t get

some distance between us it mightcombust right there in my chest, so I stoodup and went to my bag for my brush. Atthe bottom of my bag I felt something softand familiar.

“Oh yes! I forgot all about this!”I pulled out the fabric from the bag. It

was only a t-shirt I had brought along inthe likelihood that I spilled something onmyself during the road trip and wanted toprevent embarrassment. Still though, itmade me ridiculously happy to think I hadsomething of my own here in this strangeplace. I could even switch shirts and washmy tank top while I wore this one. Iinhaled the fabric and smelled the

detergent and fabric softener. Instantly itreminded me of home. I wondered if Dadwould bother to get any of the laundrydone while I was gone. Would one of theneighbors at least show him how thewasher and dryer worked? How manyepisodes of trial and error would it takebefore he figured out how much soap touse?

I put the shirt back and finallymanaged to get my hair into a decentponytail. When I turned back around,Charlie was glancing up at me slightly butput his eyes back down when he caught melooking at him.

“Thanks for this, Charlie.” I sat down

on the bed and leaned my head against thewall.

His voice was soft but tight. “You’rewelcome.”

“What time is it?” I asked“Late,” he said finally.I was enjoying the sound of the pencil

against the paper. Charlie increased theintensity in pressure he applied as hesketched away. I took pleasure in the wayit took the silence from the room, filling itwith the resonance of creation andsomething more intense than I coulddescribe. Each time the point broke, hedidn’t hesitate to sharpen it furiously withthe blade and get back to work.

As I listened, I felt my eyelids beginto grow heavy, so I kicked off my sandalsand scooted my legs up under me. Fromthe corner of my eye, I watched Charliework the paper, his brow wrinkled inconcentration. I could feel myself smile asI stared, it was as though he was in hisown world there; unable to escape untilthe image did.

“Addie?” A hand was shaking myshoulder. “Hey, Addie?”

My eyes peeled opened and I sawCharlie sitting in front of me. Whatever hewas drawing must be done now, becausethe sketchbook was closed and the pencilsput away.

“I’m gonna take off.”I stretched, “Okay.”He hesitated and looked over his

shoulder. “I’ll be across the hall. Makesure you lock the door and don’t gonowhere.”

I closed my eyes and think I mighthave nodded a bit. Truthfully though, Iwas only concerned with the potential ofgoing back to sleep. “Yeah, got it.”

I felt him smile through my closedeyelids and saw the lamp go dim. Wheneverything went dark, a blanket wasplaced over my shoulders and I snuggleddeep into its folds.

S

Chapter 7

omething was tapping on my head.Naturally I tried to swat at it—a flyperhaps. But it continued to come back,performing a sort of rap-tap-tapping on myforehead.

I turned over in the bed and tried topull the worn quilt over my head, butwhatever it was found me again andcontinued to dance on my flesh.

Tap. Tap. Tap.I heard myself groan, and now tried

using both of my hands to swat away thetapping, but it was relentless.

Then Charlie began to laugh.I opened my eyes and saw him there,

only one leg slung on the bed while stillsitting next to me, and naturally hissketchbook and pencil in hand. I nowunderstood the culprit of the tapping was apencil—I lunged for it in an effort todestroy it. However, with my lack of

balance, I misjudged my target and nearlytoppled over the entire bed—luckily,though, Charlie caught me. He seemeddifferent today. There was no longer thatresistance to touch me, and needless to sayI was considerably surprised to see himbe so bold as to be sitting on the bed nextto me. I realized immediately that I didn’tmind it in the least. But more than that, Iwas happy to see him in such high spirits.

“That is a very rude way to wakesomeone up!” I had to inhale sharply tokeep from laughing.

He released my arms and pushed meback. “I had to,” he laughed. “Yoursnorin’ was ruining my thinkin’.”

I stopped struggling against him, “I donot snore!”

Charlie just laughed harder, “Yeah,yeah, you do.”

“Take that back!” I kicked him withmy foot.

He went back to his sketch. “Nope.”“You big jerk!”I threw myself against him with the

hope that maybe I could upset his drawing,but I managed to unbalance him enoughthat his leg slipped against the blanket andhe went tumbling to the floor.Unfortunately, as I went to survey thehilarity he pulled me along with him,forcing us both to land in a crumpled heap

on the floor.With him beneath me, I could smell

the dull remains of aftershave, soap, andthe sea. I inhaled deeply. I could feel hisheart pounding beneath me, sticks at thecenter of a drum. I could imagine theblood pumping in his body to everyessential organ and limb, keeping himsteady and sure. In that moment, my sensesbetrayed me with how attractive I foundhim. I wanted to kiss him so very much. Iscolded myself—a psychologicallyhealthy person shouldn’t have beenthinking that way. I still should have hatedhim, and because I didn’t, I sincerelydisliked myself.

Before I could embarrass myselffurther, I rolled away from him, instantlymissing the feeling of his body againstmine. For a moment more he lay there,swallowing hard before pushing himselfback up again in a single motion.

An idea occurred to me as I glancedback and forth between Charlie and thedoor.

“Hey.” I looked at the door again.“Wasn’t the door locked?”

He flopped back down on the bed. “Itwas.”

I rested my hand on my hip. “Thenhow exactly did you get in here?”

He looked at me as though the answer

was obvious. “Picked it.”Being skeptical, I walked over to the

door and examined it closely. The keyholedidn’t appear to be damaged in any way.Even when I turned the knob over, the lockdidn’t turn with it, suggesting that it hadn’tbeen tampered with. I lobbied for a moresuitable explanation.

“No way. You just had a key.”He smiled and sauntered over to the

door, opened it, and closed himselfoutside.

“Okay, lock it,” he called. The smilein his voice had me biting my lip inanticipation. I was eager to hear the soundof his voice again.

I followed his directions and heardthe little latch clasp against the woodendoor frame. Immediately I knelt down andtried to see through the keyhole, but itappeared to be barreled by the lock. If hewas trying to trick me, he was doing avery good job.

From outside the door I could hearCharlie breathing—a fantastic sound allby itself. Then I heard a kind of jinglingand within an instant of that, the unlatchingof the door.

“See?” he said from the doorway.“Easy.”

A horrifying thought came over me.Reading my expression, Charlie’s own

smile receded and his smugness vanished.“What?”“If-if you can do that,” I looked at

him, “then why didn’t you just go aheadand open the door that first day I washere?”

He let out a deep sigh. “I guess Icoulda easy ’nough, but you seemedscared enough; I didn’t want to spook youanymore than I had to.”

“Oh.” I tried to appear indifferent.Truthfully, I didn’t quite know how to feelabout that.

“Will you teach me how to pick alock?”

He laughed. “Why would someone

like you need to know somethin’ likethat?”

“What does it matter?” I shrugged.“It’s interesting, and anything that’sinteresting is worth learning.”

For a moment I thought he might laughin my face, but instead he took somethingout of his back pocket and sat on the floornext to me.

“All right then.” He locked the doorwith the two of us in between it so itcouldn’t latch. “This is a tumbler lock. It’sthe most common lock ‘round…” Hewatched my face while he spoke, as ifwaiting for me to interrupt or becomebored with the process, but when I didn’t,

he continued. “To get one of these open,you need a pick and a tension wrench—”

I raised my hand like a good student.“What’s a tension wrench?”

He smiled again. If that was all I hadto do to make him smile then I had to startthinking of more questions.

“One of these.” He held out the tool hehad removed from his pocket. “You use itto put pressure on the inside of the lock soyou can hold any picked pins in placewhile the others are bein’ moved.”

I tried to peer inside the keyhole oncemore. “This is one of those things thatrequires a lot of practice, isn’t it?”

He laughed, “Yeah, generally.”

“Okay, then what?”“The tension wrench goes in first and

you turn it the same direction you do thekey.” He demonstrated on the door as Ihovered over his shoulder. “You’ll feel itgive way on the plug. Then you use thepick…”

His face was all concentration again. Iwas glad I was good at multitasking so Icould both admire him and observe therefined motions he made with his wrists.

“…try and listen for when the pins fallback into place. If you get real good at it,you can just feel it and it becomes easy.”With a final move of the pin, the doorunlocked. He grinned, looking more smug

than usual.“I want to try.” I felt like a child

again. It had been a long time since I hadbeen challenged with a skilled task.

“Go for it.” He handed over the pickand wrench, but he kept his smirk. I bit theinside of my cheek, feeling quite nervousto see him move from my front to behindme—now he was hovering over myshoulder.

I locked the door then inserted thetension wrench. I was sure I had screwedup already until I felt the end of the lockplug just as Charlie had said.

“You got it?” He pushed up closeragainst me, trying to get a better look.

I coughed, cleared my throat, andhesitated. “Um—yeah, I think so.”

I told myself to focus, to pretend itwas for a mark of some kind, but theillusion did little for me and in actualityonly made it more difficult to concentrate.

The pick went in easily enough, but Ihad difficultly pushing the pins up intotheir positions. It was only after severalminutes of hard work and eventualfrustration that I finally heard the click ofa pin give way.

I was well aware that as I worked,Charlie had been scooting ever closer tome—now his chest against my back. Icould feel the taut muscles of his torso

touching me just slightly, and the urge tolean back completely and test his strengthwas almost unbearable.

His breath quickened just a little ashis arms reached up and came for the pickand wrench. Instinctively, I went to let himfinish the chore, but his hands pulled meback.

“Here.” His voice was considerablystrained.

His hands became mine as we workedthe lock together. His right thumb andindex finger overlapped mine completely,but he was strangely gentle. Come to thinkof it, he was always gentle with me. Evennow, I could feel that as he rested the

weight of his own arm against mine. Byaccident I brushed my thumbnail againstthe inside of his palm—he jolted andanother pin came undone.

“Do you feel that?” His voice washoarse.

I coughed again. “Yes. Yes, I do.”It took dozens of tries and strings of

cursing that I wasn’t even aware I knewbefore I was finally capable of getting thelock picked on my own. Really, it wassomething of a bittersweet moment,because while I was excited at havinglearned something new, I felt a littlewretched that I had lost the excuse forCharlie and I to be so close.

“Okay, now what other kind of lockcan I learn?”

He began to chuckle. It was nice tohear him let go of whatever it was thatwas holding him back.

I rolled my eyes. “And why exactlyam I a source of comic relief?”

“You like to learn, huh?”“Yes. Do you think that’s strange?”“I guess, yeah.” He shrugged and then

put the tension wrench in his back pocketand answered my unasked question.“‘Cause girls tend to be all crying andstuff when bad things happen, not wantinga school lesson—it’s weird.”

“First, not all females panic in

stressful situations. Second, lock pickingis hardly something my parents wouldhave taught me, let alone something theyteach in public schools. And third, if yourecall correctly when…we met, Ioriginally did ‘cry and stuff.’” I stuck mychin out and tried to be smug but the outloud mention of the situation seemed to puttension between us again.

He stared at me. His gaze was intense,as if he was considering something.“That’s right.” He took out a pack ofcigarettes from the plastic crate andplaced one in his mouth. “You werehomeschooled. You liked that?”

I shrugged. “I can’t imagine a better

education.” While it was somewhatclosed minded, it was true. Mom and Dadhad given us the opportunity to attend highschool like other kids, mostly becauseMom was nervous that we weren’tsocializing enough. Robbie jumped at theidea, joining every team and sport hecould, but I was irritated at the idea. Whywould I want to do that when I could learnat home?

“You went to public school?”“Sometimes.” I watched the flame of

his lighter brighten his irises as he smiled.They seemed to be a combination of lightgreen and blue today—a turquoise, Idecided.

“That worked out well.”Charlie shrugged and considered my

response. “I picked up things I wanted to.”“What does that mean?”He lay down on the bed and blew

smoke at the ceiling. “I ain’t smart likeyou, but I always managed to learn things Iwanted to know.”

I fiddled with the lock of the door. “Iguess we’re both like that.”

He smiled at me again.“What did you say the name of this

ship was?”He smiled—it was slow and coy and

forced me to sit down low against thewall. If he was unaware of the effect he

had on me, I would have been grateful.“The Diyu.”“I thought so.”“Got it secondhand with the name,

never bothered changin’ it.”“Do you know what diyu means in the

traditional Chinese?” I questioned. “It’sreally kind of funny when you think aboutit…”

He shook his head.“It’s the equivalent translation for

‘hell’ or ‘underworld.’ When it comes tothe afterlife, some Asian cultures revolvearound Buddhist beliefs, and some ancienttraditions say that before the spirit can bereincarnated, it must be purified or

punished in the different levels of diyu.”I looked at him and waited for a

response, any kind of a response, but hejust took another drag of his cigarette andcontinued to stare aimlessly at thecorkboard ceiling. I became slightly afraidthat I was boring him with my randomknowledge, but I was also revved up bythe familiar trivia and couldn’t helpmyself.

“It got me thinking about the myth ofPersephone.” I felt a little excited as Ibegan reciting the tale told to me so manytimes. Truth be told, I hadn’t even thoughtabout it in a long time. “Hades was in theUnderworld one day, and when he saw

Persephone picking flowers in a field, heinstantly fell in love with her. He tore ahole through the earth and carried her tohis palace in hell to be his bride. Andwhen Persephone’s mother, Demeter,found out what happened, she refused tocontinue nourishing the earth so all of themortals would die.”

If this was the underworld, then whatdid that make Charlie?

“Well, without mortals, Zeus wouldhave no one to worship him, so he told hisbrother (Hades was one of his brothers) toreturn Persephone. But being Hades andeverything, he tricked Persephone intoconsuming six seeds of a pomegranate.

The seeds tied her to the Underworldforever so even though she went back toearth, she always wanted to besomewhere else.”

“Then what?”Finally, a response. His voice was so

abrupt it ruined my line of thinking.“Oh—um, well, For every seed she

ate, Persephone stayed a month withHades, and the other half of the year shehad to return to earth. The months thatshe’s on Earth is supposed to account forthe spring and summer months—winter iswhen Demeter is too upset to let usmortals harvest.” I tried to laugh.

“That’s lousy,” Charlie said after a

minute.I became defensive. “What do you

mean?”He put out his cigarette and sighed.

“Think ‘bout it, Addie. Nobody got whatthey really wanted and so nobody wasreally happy.”

I considered his words and weighedthem. “Well, sometimes I guess you haveto compromise in life. If may not be fair,but that’s the way it is.”

“Nah,” Charlie shook his head. “Imean yeah, I get what you’re sayin’, but itshouldn’t have to be that way. The goodstuff should be all or nothin’. Either youget what you want or you get nothin’ at all.

Otherwise, wanting somethin’ doesn’tmean much of nothin’ to begin with.”

“There’s a difference between wantand need, Charlie.” I was still feelingdefensive about my myth retelling, thedesire to explain how it was relevant toour situation was made more intense byhow he tried to change the subject. Onlynow, Charlie was looking at medifferently than before, and I felt as thoughwe weren’t just talking about mythology.

“Nah.” He shook his head fiercely.“Need is somethin’ right ‘round the cornerfrom want. It’ll creep up on ya when youthink you got all your want under control.And then they end up being the same thing

—ain’t no different in the end.”The conversation was quickly making

me uncomfortable, and I knew if I didn’tchange the subject right away, he wouldget the best of me again. It wasn’t so muchthat I wanted to be in control of thedialogue as I didn’t want him to be incontrol. As it was, I didn’t like the controlhe had over me; the way he made my bodyfeel, the way he made me question myinstincts…

“I’ve never thought about it like that.Fine then, if you’re an expert on stories,you tell me one.”

“One what?” He laughed.“A story.”

He smiled his Charlie smile. “Okay,”he said. “I think I can do that.”

He cleared his throat as he began.“Once an old farmer found a viper half-frozen to death in the snow. He put him inhis coat to warm him up. When he did, thesnake bit him. So the farmer died.”

I looked at him and smiled—he wasstaring at me again. “That’s an Aesopfable.”

“The point is to mind your ownbusiness or else get bit.”

“I think that’s lousy. And completelyinaccurate,” I added. “Not every act ofkindness results in disaster.”

He put his head back down and,

shrugged. “I heard it at a bar in theMaldives once.”

I sighed dramatically and threwmyself to the floor in a likewise fashion.“The Maldives? I’m jealous.”

He sat up and laughed. “You neverbeen?”

“Ha, ha.” My laugh was equallysarcastic. “The only beach I’ve seen is onthe coast of New Jersey.”

He scoffed again and slid down to thefloor beside me, lying down so our headswere adjacent to each other. “That ain’t nobeach.”

“I know—don’t remind me.” I beganto laugh.

He laughed too. It was a musicalsound that was parallel to my ear-lobe andit made me want to smile just at thethought of it.

“Maybe after I’m done in Diyu I’llshow you a real beach.”

“What, you mean in the next life?”His smile grew. “Yeah, you’d like it a

lot.” He closed his eyes as if trying toremember something. “The water is soclear and blue you can see the reefs rightthrough it…”

I tried to picture the image in my head.“I like the sound of that.”

“The coral comes in every sort ofcolor you can think of: pink, purple, and

yellow. Did you know corals get theircolor from this stuff living in theirtissues?”

“No.” I smiled. “I didn’t know that.”We stayed that way for a while, just

looking at each other in a way that saidsomething without having to be said. Itwas nice to lie beside him and have thequiet closeness of the moment. Iquestioned if this was what Dad had sooften missed with Mom—their late nightconversations at the end of a busy day. Ihad to confess that if nothing else, I feltcomfortable in the confines of hiscompanionship. And I had the mostterrible feeling that I would miss it when

it was gone.A query came to me and I considered

the possibilities: “Hey, Charlie?”“Yeah?”“Do you really think you’ll go to

hell…when you die, I mean?”“I don’t know.” His expression

remained indifferent. “I can tell you Idon’t want to think all them people havebeen wrong all this time. And ’sides…people like me should have somewherejust for us so we can’t be hurtin’ prettygirls.” He laughed, but it was bitter anddisheartened.

I turned and stared at him with mymouth agape, searching for the right

words, but my blush took over.“I gotta do lookout tonight.” His

announcement was abrupt. “You wannacome with me?”

“Um, okay.”He nodded to the ceiling. “Okay.”Before I could say anything else, he

jumped up and lit another cigarette. Istayed on the floor and watched him walkto the door. He seemed different thanusual, and although I couldn’t put myfinger on it, he did seem happier.

“Addie?”“Hmm?”“Wh-what do you think ‘bout that kind

of stuff?”

“The afterlife?”He shrugged. “Yeah.”I stood up and rested my weight on my

elbows. “I don’t know.”“No happily ever after?” I could tell

he was mocking me again, but this time heseemed genuinely sad about it.

I smiled back. “Maybe it’s a ‘wait andsee’ sort of situation.”

After I spent most of the day creatingorigami animals, I did some sketchingbefore I quickly grew bored. I did,however, manage to amuse myself byworking in some standard yoga andflexing my body into contorted shapes tohelp my circulation. The exercise helped

get my mind back into working order afterthe perplexing series of conversations Ihad with Charlie. I made myself laughrepeatedly while trying to balance indifferent positions in that awkward littleroom.

Despite his temper and occasionalfoul disposition, Charlie had been tenderwith me when it wasn’t necessary, makingme think that maybe there were theselevels of him that overlapped into acomplexity that made it difficult for him tofunction. He thought himself a burden onthe world, this much I understood. But hewas also sexist, violent, and lacked aformal education. But still, there was that

otherworldly attraction that I couldn’tdeny or take myself away from. And basedon some of his behavior, I had to wonderif he felt the same way. I could at least tellby the way he looked at me that there wassome attraction there, but other than that…

Charlie returned as promised severalhours later and looked quizzically at myaccomplishments for the day.

“Got bored, huh?”I pulled at the tail of my origami swan

and watched his wings take flight “A bit.”He smiled and my heart began beating

a little faster. I wondered if he’d alwayshave this effect on me.

“You should talk to the concierge

about getting a room with a balcony,” Ijoked. “I don’t understand how youmanage to spend all this time in herewithout any windows. The lack of a viewis crippling my imagination.”

He took the ball cap and placed it onmy head, his kaleidoscope eyes staringinto mine. “I don’t need any windows.This cabin already has the best viewpossible.”

For once I kept out of sight asinstructed. If any of the deckhands sawme, they didn’t say anything while Charlieand I rushed through the corridors and upthe stairwells labeled Deck B. Every

surface, pipe, and floor piece was painteda bright, endearing red. The color wasonly made more spectacular by theaggressive sunset. Once we were there Icould already see the orange globe makingits way to the end of the horizon andworking its way to retirement intoevening. Everything, even the lowliestmachine, was paved in a wave of pink andgold.

I sighed and breathed in the ocean. “Isit always this nice?”

He laughed at me. “No. Sometimes theweather gets real bad. You can have anentire trip where it does nothing but rainor it’s real cold. Other times other ships

bother ya, people lookin’ to steal yourstuff.”

I laughed as he struggled to light hiscigarette through the wind that whippedoff the ocean. Finally fed up, I covered theflame of his lighter with my hands. Heglanced up at me; again my actionsseemed to surprise him.

“You mean pirates?” I could hardlycontain my excitement.

“I s’pose.” I noticed his effort to blowhis smoke away from me.

“That’s kind of ironic, isn’t it?”He looked at me curiously.“Thieves stealing from thieves…”“Everybody steals from everybody,

Addie. That’s the natural order of things.”I laughed. “Don’t be so morbid.”“It’s true,” he said. “You know,

survival of the fittest and all that.”“I don’t think Darwin intended the

laws of evolution for crime.”“It’s all the same.”“We’ll have to agree to disagree.”He began meandering about the deck,

mostly staying close to the handles. Andalthough I was reluctant to just blanklyfollow him, I did so because I wasanxious to be left alone in a place that wasso strange. But on another level that Iwasn’t quite ready to admit, I also enjoyedspending time with him in a way that went

beyond companionship.Distracted by his movements, I felt my

feet slip on the deck. I swore under mybreath and clasped onto the railing.

“Be careful,” he called from behindhis shoulder. “Gotta watch out for oil,seaspray, grease… everything ‘round hereis slippery.”

I grabbed him by the wrist. Hislaughter stopped, but mine had just started.

“If I’m going down,” I giggled, “I’mtaking you with me.”

He rolled his eyes. “Promises,promises…”

I stared out at the waves while thedarkness rolled in. Slowly, he reached out

and touched the bruises around my neck. Icringed at the reminder of the familiarwound and closed my eyes against thememory of it.

“Sorry.”“It’s not your fault.” I could barely get

the words out, though we both knew itwas.

He rested his weight against the wallof the deck and puffed. “Yeah, it is,” helaughed. “But I’m still sorry.”

“You heal real fast.” His tone wastight. “That cut on your foot is probablyall but gone.”

I scanned my memory trying to think ofwhen I had told him of that. I knew I

hadn’t. In actuality I had been extremelycareful to conceal that small detail whilein the abandoned house. But he hadwarned me about the dangers of being astowaway, so if there were medicalprofessionals onboard, it may not havebeen wise to enlist their help anyway.

“You-you looked after me wh-whenWallace tried to kill me, didn’t you?”

He said nothing and stared into thewaves.

I looked over at him and poked theflesh beneath his black eye, our hands stillattached. “Hey, I want you to know I’malmost sorry I did that to your face.” Iheard myself laugh slightly as he smiled

and rubbed his hand along his nose. It wasas though he was trying to wipe away thebruise of his ego instead of the literal painI had caused him, though I doubted itcould have been much.

He laughed. “Been a long time sincesomebody got the better of me like that.”

“It’s not like you didn’t deserve it.” Iwas beginning to feel smug.

“I ain’t gonna lie…you’re not the wayI thought you’d be.”

I shrugged. “Is that a good thing or abad thing?”

Staring back out at the waves hesmiled and said, “I forgot how to besurprised.”

I smiled back. “Well, you’re welcomethen.”

W

Chapter 8

hen I woke up, the feeling ofconfinement overtook me. I had the needto open a window or a door, but there wasno way to relieve the stuffiness of theroom. Everything felt stiff and recycled,

like it had been dug up and buried timeand time again. I needed to breathe freshair—I needed to get out.

Of course Charlie didn’t have a clockanywhere, and I neglected to charge thelaptop, so I didn’t have any sense of whattime it was. However, by the sounds ofsilence in the hall, I guessed it was stillnight. I traded my soiled tank top for myclean t-shirt and put on the denim jacketCharlie had left behind. I wondered if hedid it on purpose, but tried not to put toomuch thought into it. I decided I wouldonly go out for a minute—just one minute,sixty seconds, then retreat to the safety ofthe cabin. I knelt in front of the plastic

crate and looked around for something tocover my face. In the second drawer itwas easy enough to find a couple of ballcaps. I picked the cleanest one I couldfind, which seemed to be one that wasnever worn.

I unlocked the door and cautiouslylooked both ways before taking the routeto the deck that Charlie had showed methe day before. The fluorescent lightinghurt my eyes at first, but I kept my headdown and propped the collar of the jacketup to keep my face covered. While it wasobvious I wasn’t a member of the crew, Ihoped I could at least blend in a little bitshould the situation call for it.

I kept my pace steady as I made itthrough the final stairwell to the deck. Icould smell the salt of the ocean andlimestone being unloaded nearby. Takinga moment to breathe it in, I never imaginedI could feel so happy from such a simplecombination. My pleasure was easilybroken up, however, as I leaned againstthe deck entry door and heard laughter andthe voices of people I didn’t recognizespeaking something I didn’t understand. Ican’t say that it didn’t scare the hell out ofme—I unexpectedly couldn’t breathe. Iwas being a complete idiot. Did they havebrigs like they did in those old warmovies? Would anyone understand me

when I tried to explain I was here againstmy will? I tried to think of the Chineseequivalent for taken or stolen andtranslated the verb, but my head wouldn’twork properly.

With the voices coming closer, Ipushed myself onto the deck. Although itwas still dark, thin tufts of pink werefloating on the horizon, pushing their wayupward. I must not have slept long…I feltthe chill of the sea and the night instantly.It was both wonderful and overwhelmingat the same time. I took a few stepsforward and saw a door latch markedSafety Equipment in English and maybeten other languages, marked like so many

other doors with stenciled numbers andpenciled lines. Inside I found an oil-stained life vest that I put on, if for nothingelse than it would add to my disguise.

I couldn’t see anyone around me,although on the other side of the deck Icould see welding sparks and hear morevoices. When the wind blew I could smellsome kind of chemicals in the air thatmade me gag. I closed my arms aroundmyself and took a few steps forward. Ididn’t want to be too far away from thedoor in case someone spotted me and Ineeded to make a quick getaway. But thecloser I got to the sea, the more I wantedto see the morning waves. The pink in the

sky gave way to shades of yellow andorange, each lovely in their own respect.They took out the dark of the night andthose pearly stars like they were made ofnothing.

My family had never been big beach-goers, but when we had gone, I was theone crazy for the water. Even now Iwatched the miniature waves collide withthe side of the boat. It fascinated me thatthey would still be here, millions of yearsfrom now, long after we were gone andthis misadventure was through. I sighedand rubbed my temples. Where would I bewhen all of this was said and done?Where would Charlie be?

I dismissed the image from my head,but it kept popping in there, reappearingwhen I least wanted it to. It was his fault Iwas here in the first place and that I hadnearly been killed. I couldn’t justify thatno matter how sweet he had been to meover the last couple of days. Even he hadstated that if he’d really had to, he mightvery well have killed me, sparing meoriginally only because I was a girl. Still,I had to acknowledge the way he made melaugh and made my stomach flip-flop. Iunderstood he was a thief and that I wouldprobably be psychologically damaged tosome extent because of him, but I couldn’thelp but care about him. As long as no one

else was hurt, I truly didn’t want him to bepunished for abducting me.

Morning set in easily, as though thenight had never been, and as much as Ihated to leave, I remembered what Charliesaid about the morning being one of thebusiest times of the day. Sure enough, justas I was crossing over to the other side ofthe deck, Polo and another deckhand camearound the corner.

I swore to myself and leaned against awall with an arrow that pointed tosomething called Hold 6 & 7. I made amental note to research ship terminology ifand when I ever got the chance. Polo waslaughing his Polo laugh, and I had to smile

because I had the feeling that Charlie wasright—I couldn’t even begin to imaginePolo hurting anyone.

“Addie, Addie, Addie, Addie!” OnceI heard his voice I knew I had been caught.

“Hi, Polo.”He jumped in front of me, bouncing on

his heels. “I thought that was you!”I shushed him. “Hey, keep it down.” I

looked over his shoulder, but whoever hewas with must have gone the other way.

“Oh, right!” He mimicked my whisperbut continued to bounce. I was nervous hisbehavior might draw some very unwantedattention in my direction. I had to admitthat without Charlie around, I was more

than uncomfortable about my safety.However, most of the deckhands were onthe other side of the deck and seemedrather preoccupied with their work, so Itried not to fret. Despite his erraticmovement, I could still see the dirt andgrit all over Polo’s face and clothing—itwas actually kind of hard to miss.

“Um…what were you doing justnow?” I reached and swiped a smear fromhis safety helmet. Sure enough the new dirton my fingers smelled like Charlie whenhe came up from the basement the otherday.

“Doing stuff in the engine room. I’mgoing now to make breakfast for the crew.

Oh! Come with me!”I thought about sitting in the cabin all

day long and being stuck with my thoughtsof Charlie; I shuddered. “Sure, Polo. Whynot?”

Although he didn’t spell it out, Iunderstood that the galley wasn’tsupposed to be open before seven in themorning when breakfast was ready. Andwhile the shipping company’s employeesate in the mess hall, Charlie and the rest ofthe unofficial crew ate in the galley. Asecond meal was cooked by noon andanother around five in the evening. I couldsee that the main food supplies were

stored in a large industrial freezer andrefrigerator just below the galley. Next tothem were rooms that served as pantrieswith industrial sized cans of fruit,vegetables, some dried meats, and oils forcooking.

It was explained to me, though, that ifyou wanted something special, you had tobring it yourself and label it or elsesomeone would consume it in a heartbeat.

“The guys say they don’t know whatI’m talking about, but I think they’re lyingto me. I think they’re messing with me.”Polo was bouncing, telling me about thesnack cake conspiracy that all thosearound him seemed to be in on.

“I’m sure they’re not eating your foodon purpose.” It was taking all of mystrength to hoist the huge industrial-sizedskillet from a cupboard.

“I was hiding the last box of cupcakesin my room, under dirty coveralls!”

I stifled a laugh, but it was difficultand it came out more like a snort. Irecalled the Twinkie outside the cabindoor and laughed outright.

I tried to figure out what to do nextwhen Polo began emptying liquid eggs inthe skillet. The aluminum pan was visiblyabused, scratched and dented frommaltreatment.

“Hey there, Polo?”

“Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?”“Did you cook yesterday?”He threw his head back and forth

violently. “Duh! That’s my job!”I tried to approach the subject

delicately. “Um, why don’t you take alittle break and let me help you outtoday?”

Before he could answer, I took theskillet and dumped the contents in amixing bowl. I then put some much neededcooking spray in the empty pan and set itto low heat.

“Ah!” He smacked himself in thehead. “I always forget that part!”

I laughed. “That’s okay. At least you

managed to turn on the oven. That’s furtherthan my Dad or brother would havegotten.”

I sighed. It had been a couple of years,but maybe I could pretend this wassummer camp and this was the same sortof homesickness I was feeling.

Concentrating on the egg batter, Iwhisked it with some salt, pepper, andmilk, feeling the beginning of an ideasprout in my brain.

“Hey, Polo, are there any open cans ofvegetables in the fridge?”

He ran from the room screaming,“Time me! Time me!”

Seven seconds later he came back

with the two large open cans, left again,and returned in eight seconds with anothercan.

“How’d I do, Addie?”I just nodded at the clock and started

scooping in diced tomatoes. “Nice.”After some broccoli, cheese,

mushrooms, and cloves, I even found thelid for the skillet that Polo claimed hadbeen M.I.A. forever so the food might staywarm without burning. It felt good toaccomplish something for the first time inseveral days, even if it was only makingeggs, and I felt revitalized enough to trysomething bold.

“Polo, where are we right now

exactly?”He shrugged and started whistling

some loud tune. “Beats me. Ben keepstrack of all of that stuff.”

The mention of Ben Walden unsettledme a little. I had gotten the impression hewas a ringleader, and if what Yuri hadsaid was true about throwing meoverboard, then it was surely the logic ofa leader that had promoted the idea. Istruggled with several breaths when Iremembered how cordial and polite hehad been at our first meeting, but it wasclear that Ben Walden would kill withoutreservation if the situation required it. Itwas frightening how completely different

two sides of the same coin could be.“You guys all take jobs around here,

right?” I grabbed the broom and dust panand started sweeping the floor.

Polo jumped on the table and used itas a step to get to some hanging pipes.From there he started doing pull-ups.“Yup. Yup. Yup.”

“What do Charlie and Ben do?”“Oh! Right, Charlie works with the

guys in steering. He makes maps and stuffto drive around the Coast Guard checkpoint. He’s real good at it ‘cause he’sgood at drawing. Ben does business thingswith the inventory, ours and otherpeople’s. Reid is like an electrician, and

Yuri is a mechanic for stuff in the engineroom. I’m just a steward, but I’ve got myprojects in the engine room.”

“What kind of projects, Polo?” Iemptied the dust pan full of dirt and triedto remain nonchalant, but the answer tothis question was important and I had afeeling it had to do with the noises I’dheard coming from the basement and thesmells I couldn’t place.

He jumped from the table onto thefloor and tried to skid across. “I’m notsupposed to talk about it, but if Charliesays you’re okay, then you’re okay. Comeon!” Without any warning he grabbed meby the hand and yanked me out the doors.

The most frightening part of this was thathe wasn’t as cautious as Charlie. Thesudden pull on my arm hurt my shoulderimmensely, though he hadn’t intended meharm.

As we descended a staircase, paintedyellow for caution, I pulled back on Poloand held onto the ramp for leverage.

“Polo! Hold on a second! Stop!” Ipractically had to yell over his incessantwhistling.

“What now?” He seemed genuinelyconfused and even a little hurt. I almostfelt bad for my harsh tone.

“What would happen if I was caughtas a stowaway, Polo?”

His foot tapped the groundimpatiently. “Well, unless Ben said so, theCaptain would probably have you lockedin the confessional until we made port.But it’s cool because Charlie just gaveeverybody a pay out to make sure thatdoesn’t happen.”

I swallowed hard. There were somany questions I hardly knew where tobegin. “Wh-what are you talking about,Polo?” I thought about the way Charliehad avoided answering my question aboutthe consequences of being found aboardthe ship, but on every other subject he hadbeen frank and honest with me. What wasso horrific about being a stowaway that he

thought he couldn’t tell me about?“What’s this confessional you’re

talking about?” I tried againHe smacked his hands together and

laughed. “It’s almost the coolest thingever! It’s this old thing from a church thatwe use like a brig. Charlie rigged thelocks real good.”

I shivered. “Um…how about you justshow me your projects, Polo?”

And then we were running again.“Yeah!” he shouted back to me. “Becausethese are the coolest things ever!”

We walked into an endless area thatwas incredibly noisy and covered with thefilth of a thousand trips. The heat was

instantly stifling and I had to remove thedenim jacket to keep from suffocating.There were large electrical outlet boxesand exhaust fans fitted into the walls, butif they were for ventilation, it didn’t feellike they were doing much good.

Polo was pointing excitedly to someof the larger machinery, but I could barelyunderstand him over the all of the noise.“Fuel pump…boiler…diesel…turbine…”I was fascinated that the few men whowere working with tools and various otherthings somehow refused to acknowledgemy presence. It all seemed so strange.

“Back here!”I followed Polo to the back end of the

engine room where there was a separateset of doors leading to a different room.Inside, there were large slates of fold outtables covered from end to end in whatlooked like the remains of a science fair.Beneath them, some large wooden crateswere covered by tarps.

Everything from bundles of wires tobeakers, cylinders, funnels, and plasticcords were scattered all over the place.The room was exceptionally bright withfluorescent lighting in the ceiling, so Icould see everything well enough. Ipicked up a rack of sulfuric powder andimmediately recognized the smell. Next toit was a large container filled to the brim

with fertilizer. Almost everything washarmless by itself, but when combined Iknew it could cause some damage.

“What do you do down here, Polo?”He looked at me like I was a fool. “I

make the knockers.”“The knockers?”His eyes rolled at me. “Explosives to

get into stuff.”He reached for a crate under the table

and pulled out a plastic capsule. It wascompletely plain and ordinary lookingwith no markings and no bigger than myfist. He shook it fiercely, makingsomething rattle inside. Terrified of whatmight go off, I covered my head with my

arms and dived under the table.Polo began laughing as though he

might never stop. “It’s not active yet!”I stood up and wiped the sweat from

my face. My hands were shaking, but Icouldn’t make them stop.

“Can we go back up, Polo? I think I’mgetting seasick.”

Amongst other things, I learned thatthe large, metal fixtures that protrudedfrom the front of the ship were part of thecranes that were dismantled beforeleaving port. I understood they wereimportant, essential. But to me they lookedlike obscure pieces of art, disfigured

sculptures too rusted for even the mosteccentric to love. The occasional birdwould land at their tops, fly away, anddisappear.

As I watched the clouds pass over, Ikept trying to picture the most innocentuses a group of thieves could use bombsfor. But my imagination betrayed me, and Icontinuously only came up with images Ihad seen from the news and actionmovies, seeing in my head only sufferingand physical pain.

The sun felt good on my arms and Iwilled myself to soak up as much of it aspossible. There wasn’t anyone around,and with my head inflated with this new

knowledge, I had every intention of goingback down to Charlie’s cabin and onlyemerging if it was absolutely necessary. Ithad become clear that exploring the shipwould only cause me grief and futureheadaches that I could easily avoid by juststaying where Charlie instructed. I feltmyself smile at the thought of him andexamined the denim of his jacket with myfingertip. If I was even remotely normal, Iwould have been frowning instead. But Icouldn’t, and something growing insidewouldn’t let me.

And just like that, I heard his voice onthe wind.

It was soft at first, but then the low

echoes of his baritone floated back to meonce more, this time the sound was heftier,so I knew I hadn’t just been hearing things.

“Charlie?”I turned and watched him jog up the

same corridor Polo and I had just comefrom. Charlie looked frayed as he rushedto get to the deck, his eyes eagerlysearching for something he couldn’t see.He ruffled a hand through his hair andswore, kicked a lifeboat, and placed hishands on his knees for leverage. All thewhile I watched him from behind a largepillar on the side of the…main part of theship? I told myself I would truly have tolearn some terminology before I left.

He walked toward the edge of thedeck and took hold of the rail. I had tocarefully scoot around to the other side ofthe pillar to prevent him from seeing me.And while I very much wanted to see himup close, it was more fun to see him thisway, and without question moreinteresting. He was like some rare andwonderful creature, and I was privilegedto have the opportunity to observe him.

Staring at the sea, he closed his eyesand mumbled something under his breath,though what it was I never knew. He waswearing the same fuel-stained jeans fromthe day before but had on a fresh navyblue t-shirt with a cut that showed not only

the lean muscles in his arms, but also theserpent tattooed on his neck. For a momentI stared at it and it almost seemed to stareback at me. I made myself wave the notionaway—everything about Charlie had a lifeof its own.

He took out a cigarette from hispocket and put it to his mouth but thenstopped to reconsider. He looked at it fora minute, frowned, and threw it into thesea. I bit my lip to keep from smiling andthought that I might jump out and try tosneak up on him. Suddenly, however, hebecame possessed with the frenzy of amadman as he began hitting the railingwith a pounding fist. Simultaneously, he

kicked the side panels, and a growlemitted from the depths of his chest,though these were difficult to hear throughthe slur of profanities that erupted from hismouth.

Finally he let loose a scream into theocean.

I was unable to stand it any longer.Seeing him so unmistakably miserablebrought tears to my eyes and I knewwhatever was disturbing him soincessantly had to end before my heartcollapsed on itself.

“Charlie?”He stopped instantly. It was actually

so abrupt that I thought he might have hurt

himself. He remained so completelymotionless that it only increased my fear. Iran up behind him and placed my hand onhis shoulder.

“Are you okay?”When he turned to me his face was red

and his eyes bugging. He looked me upand down. He seemed confused, almostdisorientated; it did nothing to alleviatemy worry.

“Addie.” His mouth moved to saysomething else, but the words didn’tcome.

I smiled, although it was more fromnerves than anything else. “That’s myname, don’t wear it out?”

His expression became detached witha thin outline of anger he was trying veryhard to suppress. “What happened toyou?”

I tried to decipher his frenzy, butnothing came to me. I knew I needed totread around any potential answercarefully. If I said the wrong thing, wouldhe have another tantrum? Would he hurtsomeone, or himself?

“I, um…went for some air and raninto Polo. I helped him in the galley andhe gave me a tour of the engine room.”

He looked back to the sea, his jawstiffened. “I told you to stay in the cabin.”

Was this the reason he was so upset,

because I hadn’t followed an instruction? Ifelt my own glimmer of anger rise withinme. He had no right to dictate mymovements even if he had saved my life.

“Hey! I’m not your property. If I wantto go out and explore, that’s myprerogative. Curiosity is one of the mostnatural human instincts…”

“You got any idea what couldahappened out here? How a lotta the guysout here think?” He shouted it more at theocean than me, but it scared me enoughthat I kept my mouth shut. Once more Icould hear his accent coming through—revealing he was genuinely upset. Itseemed like such a silly thing to get so

worked up over. But I understood he wasworried, anxious that something bad mighthappen to me.

I moved from where I was so that Icould stand beside him. I could seeclearly enough that his knuckles werewhite from clenching the railing. Feelingcourageous, I slowly ventured my hand ontop of his. Using every caution imaginablein case he had a fit, or perhaps worse, incase he didn’t want me to touch him, I wasvery careful not to touch any other part. Ifelt his grip on the railing relax almostinstantly when my fingers slid over his.The fire-hot feel of his skin made mypulse increase and made me dizzy.

After awhile, our forearms met aswell, moving just enough so that theymight be touching, too. I felt the anxiety inme go slack and a new sort of calm takeover my body. Maybe he was activatingsome kind of pressure point…but even Iknew I was stretching for explanations onthat one. Other things were getting throughthe filter now, and I liked the way it mademe feel.

“Did anybody bother you?” he askedeventually

I considered the question carefullybefore answering. “Polo’s whistling got tome after awhile.”

At last he smiled. “That ain’t what I

meant.”“I know,” I confessed. “No, no one

bothered me. It was like I was invisible.”He nodded, pleased with my

response. The remainder of his tensionevaporated into a sigh.

“Polo said you um—paid off somepeople to leave me alone?”

“He wasn’t supposed to do that.” Heshook his head.

I gnawed my lip. I wasn’t sure if Ishould be grateful or appalled. “So it’strue?”

Charlie stared out into the nothing ofthe ocean, but I knew the answer.

I tried to laugh. “And here I thought I

was blending in so well.”He looked back at me and grinned

until my heart flipped. “Not with thoselegs.”

I pulled my hand away and tried toseem indifferent, but I’m still certain hesaw my blush.

Mistaking my awkwardness fordispleasure, I could feel him tense upbeside me. I looked back and saw himshuffling his feet again. He had taken astep away from me and was now staringwith a certain intensity at his boots.

I hesitated to touch him again lest itcause him further distress, but the urge forthis simple affection and the feel of his

skin unhinged me. I leaned my headagainst his shoulder and closed my eyes.Instantly his body became rigid, though Icould feel his neck craning down to lookon me. I felt like a fool—a completeimbecile. I should have just been grateful Iwas alive. Bothering him with my pettyattempts might only irritate him further.

But just as the thought came through,he began tousling my hair. To mycomplete amazement he even leanedforward and buried his face in the remainsof my ponytail, slowly removing the hair-tie and letting loose my hair. I curled mytoes and inhaled deeply as I remindedmyself of my name, street address, place

of birth…He took the tie and placed it around

my wrist for safekeeping. I thought hewould have surely felt the pulse there,threatening to explode at any second. Whatwas scary wasn’t the physical reaction ofmy rapidly inflating and deflating lungs,the heartbeat in my ears, or even thepleasant dizziness that his closeness gaveme. It was the awareness that at this verymoment I would have done anything forthis man—ignored all logic and commonsense, and moral decency if he had askedme to. I wasn’t aware people werecapable of feeling that way.

“It’s going to be okay, you know.” I

don’t know who I said that for.He sighed into my hair. I felt him

smile there. “That’s real easy forsomebody like you to say.”

I only pulled away enough so that hecould see my face. I didn’t quite knowwhat he meant by that, but I had a generalidea and I didn’t like it. “No, it isn’t.”

His confusion was transparent throughhis furrowed brow. “I may not understandthe stress of the criminal life or anything,but I worry about my brother every day,and I know what it’s like to watchsomeone you love get eaten away bydisease.”

“I—”

I sighed and leaned back into hisshoulder. I hadn’t meant to preach. “Justbecause life sucks sometimes doesn’tmean you have to be so angry all the time.Life isn’t easy for anyone, Charlie. Youjust have to look at things logically, that’sall. Stay sensible.”

He was eager to redeem himself. “If Iwas mad, and I ain’t saying I was, thenmaybe I couldn’t help it.”

“At least you’re admitting it, kind of,anyway.” I laughed.

I pulled away and looked into hiseyes. The shirt he wore brought out theblue.

“Why are you so mad, Charlie Hays?”

He hesitated. “Sometimes my headgets all mixed up. I start thinkin’ ‘bout oldstuff, jail, and the bad things I’ve done.”He sighed again and I felt his breath on myneck. I shivered against him.

He reached for a cigarette; this timehe smoked it without any delay. I let thewind blow my hair wherever it wanted to.I was busy trying to contemplate whatCharlie had just told me. Knowing that hehad a reliable conscience was reassuring,but it disturbed me that he was so clearlyagitated by his past. I wouldn’t havewished that for him, not for anything in theworld. At the same time, it also made himseem more human, more mortal, to have a

past. While it may have been selfish, Iwanted to know everything about him,every detail that had led him to kidnap me.

There was no more caution left as Ireached up and traced the outline of theserpent on his neck. I didn’t see earlierhow the black outline of the body blendedso well with the dark green, or how theeyes were shaped like diamonds and afaded sort of red. He shivered visiblywhen I pulled my hand away. I saw hisbreathing increase and the muscles on hisneck flex, but he didn’t look at me, not justthen, anyway. He smiled weakly instead.

“Yeah, it’s a kinda job killer.” Heused his free hand to rub his neck right

over the spot where the serpent lay. Isuspected something was bothering himagain. He seemed self-conscience all ofthe sudden, wanting to hide away.

I pulled his hand away and laughed.“Well, if it’s any consolation, I like it.”

He looked down at our hands andsmiled.

“How long have you had that?”“A few years.”“Did you get it when you were in

prison?”I could tell my question took him off

guard. Maybe he had forgotten what Ialready knew about him and our earlierconversations. Or maybe that was just a

part of the past he wanted to forget—myconstant reminding becoming anannoyance for him. I decided I wouldn’task him about prison anymore, becausewhile I had every confidence he wouldn’tharm me, I still didn’t want to risk himlosing his temper again and hurt himself orsomeone else. While we hadn’t knowneach other long, I could see that it was oneof the main sources of his suffering.

“You gotta be a different person inthere—lookin’ different helps.”

Not having much to contribute to theconversation, I tried to make it lessuncomfortable with humor. “Hasn’tanyone ever told you that appearances

aren’t everything?”He looked at me but didn’t smile.

“Yeah,” he said. “You’re right.Sometimes you gotta act different, too.”For the rest of my life I’ll alwaysremember what happened next. Withoutthe slightest hesitation, he turned over hisarm and put out the remaining end of thecigarette directly on his inner arm.

I screamed but covered my mouthwhen I heard the echo of it on the sea. Heremained completely calm and unflinchingas he damaged himself, really more likesome kind of a robot than a man. It wasonly when he heard me shout that hepulled it away.

“Stop that!” I hit his arm as hard as Icould until I was sure the offendingweapon was away. Once that was done, Itook his arm to inspect the damage. Hegave it to me willingly, seeminglyunaffected by the burn he had just givenhimself.

I could see the seared flesh in aperfect little circle where he had brandedhimself. The damage was already done,the blistering edge of healthy skinsheltering an angry red center. My lowerlip began to tremble as I looked closer atthe burn and all the rest that surrounded it.Placid white scars ran up and down hisarm as evidence of his self-abuse. I could

only guess how old some were. What wasupsetting was how easily I could imaginehim doing that to himself in an attempt toact like a lunatic. I placed my thumb oversome of the faintest and smeared my tearsthat had fallen there.

He lifted my chin very slightly withthe same delicacy one might treat aporcelain doll. But seeing the unrelentingtenderness he showed me side by sidewith his clear lack of self-regard justmade me cry harder.

“The crazier you act, the easier it is toget by in there. That’s all,” he tried toreassure me with a smile, but I wasn’thaving it.

“No!” My voice was so firm itextinguished the smile from his face.

“I don’t care what the social etiquetteis amongst criminals! I don’t want you tohurt yourself anymore, okay?” I waspractically yelling, but it didn’t matter aslong as I got my point across. “Promiseme, okay? I know you don’t owe meanything, but I want you to promise me,Charlie, okay? Even if it’s a lie, promiseyou won’t do that ever again, or anythingelse like that!”

He silenced me by pulling me into hisarms and letting me collapse there.Feeling my head against his chest andhearing his heart beating as fast as it was

could have been enough to stop my tears,but his arms belted me in and offered asafety I had never experienced. It made menever want to leave. And honestly, if heoffered me a lifetime pass to stay there Iwould have happily accepted right thenand there.

“I promise, okay?” His voice cracked.Maybe he thought I was hysterical. “Ipromise. I promise. I promise. Ipromise…” He kept whispering the wordsin my ear until I settled down. “If it makesyou happy, I’ll promise, okay?” Hesounded completely desperate butmanaged to laugh a little of his Charlielaugh for me.

I breathed in the scent of him, feelingall at once ridiculous and relieved. Heprobably thought I was a nutcase whoneeded constant supervision or I might runwild on the ship. As long as I didn’t haveto see him hurt himself intentionally everagain, that would have been fine with me.

“Did you know that almost all colorshave some red, blue, and yellow in ‘em?”His voice was cracking so I just let himtalk on—the sound of him was all thatmattered in that moment.

“Midnight green doesn’t have any red.And the green and blue are as close as‘bout two colors can be while still beingseparate…that’s what this color is,” he

indicated to the serpent, “or was supposedto be.”

I could feel myself smiling. “Youdrew it yourself, didn’t you?”

“Of course.”I pulled away and basked in his grin.

E

Chapter 9

ven before the door was closed, Charliewas hard at work in his sketchbook,feverishly laboring at something he bluntlyrefused to let me see.

“Don’t you have…I don’t know,

sailor stuff to do?” I pulled out the laptopand began playing solitaire. While itwasn’t exciting, my artist skills hadn’tmagically revealed themselves and Iwasn’t going to get my hopes up about it.

He laughed and took out theswitchblade. Seeing it reminded me he’dalso put the Wi-Fi card in one of thosepockets as well. While I doubted I couldget an Internet connection this far out atsea, it made a sickness rise inside to thinkof home and all that I’d left behind.

Seeing me blanch, he asked, “You allright?”

“Yeah,” I lied. “Just tired, I guess.Anyway,” I hoped he wouldn’t see how

pathetically I tried to change the subject,“you didn’t answer my question.”

“What, the sailor stuff?”“Yes, I imagine there’s plenty of that

to do around here.”He ran his fingers through his hair to

move it from his vision. Loose strandswould float in front of his eye every sooften and he would brush them awaywithout thinking about it. But he nevertook his eyes from the paper.

“Yeah, there’s a lot to do. But sinceyou’ve made it real clear you ain’t gonnabe still for real long and cause all kind ofmischief, I figure I should just keep an eyeon you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Excuse me, but I’vebeen very well-behaved.”

“You weren’t supposed to, but youmanaged to make your way down to theengine room.”

I almost fell off the bed. Though itmade me nervous to mention it, I knew Icouldn’t leave without knowing theanswer. “Hey, Charlie, what does Polomake down there, anyway?”

Charlie smiled down at his paper.“Nothin’ but trouble,” he mumbled. Helooked up at me again for a moment. Ithink maybe he was deciding something. Icould only hope it was a decision in myfavor. “He makes all the explosives we

use to bust into latched storage spaces,trucks, whatever. Most of the time we onlygotta put one knocker on the main door.”

I interrupted. “Right. That’s why the‘knock, knock’?”

He smiled. “Funny…that guy canbarely read, but he makes those things goboom without any smoke or noise.”

“You mean the bombs.”He stopped stretching and his smile

disappeared completely. “They ain’tbombs.”

“You use them for blowing things up.”“Nah, not really.”“Polo said—” I clicked to start a new

game.

“You really gonna go listenin’ toPolo?” He sighed. I saw him gnash histeeth, but I didn’t say anything else.Instead of continuing the sketch, he twirledthe pencil in his fingers.

“Well, what are they for, then?” Itcame out all slurred and I wasn’t sure ifhe heard me.

“What?”“You heard me.” I figured he probably

hadn’t, but I wanted to sound aggressive.There could be no compromising standconcerning the lives of others. “What arethey for?”

Now that he understood, he smiledand casually began sketching again.

“Distractin’ people sometimes, playingpranks…”

“Do you—”“No.” His voice was stern, giving me

a warning I knew not to cross. “I would ifit came down to it, but none of us ain’tdone nothing like that yet. Polo basicallymakes smoke bombs down there. It’s realgood if we can’t break into a truck or awarehouse and we need to buy some time.Other kinds we set off in the storagehouses after we’re done with ‘em, burnsaway evidence we were there.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn’trealized I had been holding my breath theentire time. While Charlie and the guys

had great potential to hurt others, theirability to do so was within their realm ofnecessity. And for some reason thatbrought me little comfort. What if theothers had agreed with Wallace about theneed to hurt me? Would I have been mereash in that house?

“We’re just thieves, Addie.” Helooked up at me then ,and although thecorner of his lips turned up, I could sensea lie there. I could see something thatwasn’t right. “Nobody hurts nobody unlesswe gotta.”

“And yet you’ve killed peoplebefore?”

I sensed he was getting annoyed.

Maybe I was treading on territory hedidn’t want to talk about. I needed to bevery clear, though. If I was going to knowas much about him as I wanted to, then Iwas going to have to be.

“I told you I wasn’t a nice guy. I meantthat, Addie. I killed people before that Ididn’t have to.”

We both let that sink in. As horrifyingas it was, I didn’t have any difficultybelieving him. I could see in my mind’seye the rage of a moment taking him overand snuffing out a life before thesensibility of the situation allowed him todo anything rational.. In other scenarios, Icould justify self-defense and I could tell

myself that taking life during times of warwas also permissible…but what Charlieand the others did was hardly a matter ofsurvival. For them it was about profit,about how much money they could makewhile still avoiding punishment from thelaw.

And yet, how could I be allowed tojudge? Charlie did have a point. Myfamily was fortunate enough to not have toworry too much about financial matters.We lived in a good community, we werehappy, and right up until Mom becamesick, our biggest problem was running outof space on the bookshelf. I had switchedout the last two summers of summer camp

for waitressing at my Dad’s golf course—but it was the sort of employment that wasdesigned to “build character.” I hadalways been provided for and neverwanted for anything. With a different sortof life, who’s to say that I wouldn’t havebeen capable of far worse than anyoneelse?

I closed the laptop and picked up oneof his sketchbooks. I began flippingthrough it page by page, taking my timewith some of the drawings I foundparticularly beautiful. Toward the middleof the book was an incredible grandfatherclock, sketched in afternoon light over anintricate Persian rug.

“Do you hate me now?” His tone wassoft, on the verge of being broken.

I flipped the book closed and sat onthe floor beside him. It marveled me howdangerous he could be one minute andhow very much like a child the next.

“How could I hate you?” I rested myhead against him “This has been, andstatistically speaking, probably will be,the greatest adventure of my life.”

The moment I said it, I realized it wastrue. It wasn’t just something I was sayingto bring him comfort, something to makesomeone else feel better. For once, I washaving an experience of my own, andwhile it had been terrifying at first, it had

also been a wonderful thrill. Charlietensed against me. I was afraid I’d saidsomething wrong, but I cut him off beforehe could ponder it further. “Remind me tothank whichever one of the guys it waswho wanted coffee.”

He chuckled warmly. “You’resupposed to be seventeen, right?”

I laughed. “Yes, why?”“Ya don’t seem like it.” He smiled.“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”He paused; his smile lapsed into a

frown. “Addie, you’re just a kid.”“I might be young, but at least I can

control my temper. You should be oldenough to know better.”

“How old do you think I am?”I looked up at him and pretended to

examine his face. Truthfully, I had alreadyspent numerous moments considering thisquestion.

“I’m not sure. Enlighten me.”It was obvious he was indecisive

about whether or not he wanted to answer.I was about to remind him that when I gothome I had every intention of doing themost extensive research on him available.

“Twenty-nine,” he said finally.“Hmm.” It was good to know that I

hadn’t been too far off.He laughed a little, although it

sounded a little uncertain. “You probably

gotta set an age maximum for your beaus. Ibet you start turning them away aroundtwenty-five just to narrow ‘em down.”

I hit him on the arm, although it wasn’twith much effort. “Not that it’s any of yourbusiness, but I’m not the sort of girl thathas guys.” I felt the blush creeping up inmy cheeks and cursed myself. “I’ve neverhad any guys.”

“That I ain’t believing.” Vigorously,he worked to shade in something on thesketch. “Not possible…” His pressure onthe paper became intense enough to breakthe point. “Your old man and brotherprobably killed more men than me tryin’to keep ‘em away.”

I pretended to look at something on thewall, but really I was concentrating ongetting my blush under control. From thecorner of my eye I could see him smiling,which was doing nothing to help mycause, and that only gave me moredifficulty concentrating.

It was something of an oddity to thinkthat Charlie found me attractive. Iconsidered that maybe he was putting meon, but I had caught the way he looked atme and didn’t think he could fake areaction like that. While I was nothingmuch to look at, Robbie’s friends hadshown some interest in me over the years,much to Dad’s distress. But unlike girls

my own age, I hadn’t had much interest insocializing with people. The only solace Ihad ever really known I got from booksand studying. Not knowing how I feltabout something was like being in aforeign country—exciting and scary at thesame time.

All at once the sound of the pencilsnapping interrupted my thoughts andbrought me back to Charlie. He threwthem across the room. In one straightmotion they hit the wall.

“I’m not, I—” He swallowed hard andclosed his eyes. It was like watching aman drown. I reached my hand out andtried to touch his forearm, but he flinched

away. I was beyond hurt.“I’m a bad person, Addie. You

shouldn’t be so good to me.”I felt my heart stiffen. To some extent

he was right and I knew that.I did know that, right?

“Well, I don’t care, I’m going.”“No, you’re not.”“Bye.” It was hard to keep serious

through my laughter.“Get. Back. Here.” The words were

almost grit through his clenched teeth.I just laughed and ducked under his

arms, which were blocking the door. Ithink we were both shocked I managed to

evade his grasp, but he was behind me,quickly trailing me with long strides.

I began a full on jog ahead of him andhe chased after me willingly. It wasn’tunlike two days ago, only this time I wasendeavoring to let him catch me.

“This ain’t a good idea!” He was onlya few steps behind and I anticipated themoment he would reach out for me. Thatrealization within itself gave me a senseof glee, and I wanted the seconds to closein already so he would just take me in hisarms. The anticipation of feeling his skinon mine again made my stomach flop afterits standard flip.

“Lighten up, Charlie, you’ll live

longer!”We had been “arguing” for a solid

hour about whether or not it would bewise to go to the recreational room for thecrew’s card game. Charlie hadinstantaneously decided it wasn’t, while Ihad decided the opposite. He also decidedhe hated himself for accidently mentioningit at all.

“I won’t even bother you guys. I’ll bea silent cheerleader, I swear.”

He sighed. “It ain’t you I’m worriedabout.”

I tugged on the sleeve of his shirt andjumped up and down. “It will be fun.Come on!”

He grinned down at me and shook hishead. “No more spending time with Polo.”

He tangled his arms around my waistand lifted me into the air as though I wereno more than a paper sack. I was glad themelancholy that had gotten hold of himearlier had only been temporary. He nowseemed restored.

“Gotcha.” His voice was hoarse in myear. “You can run all you want.” Helaughed. “I like chasing ya.”

I laughed and protested but still lethim carry me all the way to a smaller setof doors labeled Rec Room. Fromunderneath the sliding doors, smokebillowed in small tufts. It almost sent me

panicking until I recognized the smell theroasting tobacco generated. The door tothe Rec Room stuck so badly that evenCharlie had trouble opening it, but iteffectively blocked the noise of poorlyselected rock music blaring from a radioand the voices of excited men blatheringabout the day’s events.

When I walked in, I was hardlystunned to see the dirty look Reid gaveCharlie and me, but I was in such a goodmood I let it roll off my back. What didsurprise me slightly was seeing BenWalden there at the folding table with therest of the guys. Seeing him there soordinary, the head of a mild criminal

enterprise, with a cigar in his mouth andplaying cards in his hand, was quitecomical. He was entirely out of placewearing a crisp button down and whatlooked like a very expensive watch.Meanwhile, the guys were still wearingtheir soiled work clothes and were mostlydirty and unshaven.

“We were beginning to wonder whenyou kids would show up,” Ben said. Hisgaze lingered on me, though for a momentI saw his eyes dart at Charliequestioningly.

Reid mumbled something to Yuri that Icouldn’t hear, but I was almost certain itwas inappropriate. I tried to pretend I

didn’t feel extremely awkward by staringat my feet. At this point, my shoes weregraying from the dirt and beginning to frayat the ends.

“Hey, hey, hey! You guys are just intime, we were about to start a new game!”Polo slapped the table, causing Reid andYuri to groan simultaneously.

“Knock that crap off, Polo!” Yurismacked him upside the head and pickedup his fallen plastic chips from the floor. Inoticed Polo had the least amount of chipsand hoped they weren’t taking advantageof him too badly.

Charlie shook his head and grabbedtwo folding chairs from the side. From

what I could see, the recreational roomwasn’t much more than some tables andchairs with an old television andDVD/VHS player hooked up in the corner.Both were dusty and looked unused. Onthe wall there was a relatively newdartboard and a decent stereo system,blaring music.

I sat in the seat Charlie offered, andthe men continued their conversation asthough I wasn’t even there. I wasimmensely grateful for this exclusion,because if they could speak freely aroundme then maybe it would help me feel lessawkward. After a moment I realized thiswas an unrealistic expectation and

concentrated on avoiding Reid’s glarewhile trying not to spend too much timestaring at Charlie.

Yuri took the card deck and split itinto two halves, shuffling it expertly. Itried not to look impressed, but when themost extensive card playing experienceyou have involves War and Go Fish, it’seasy to be impressed.

I watched with quiet fascination as hethrew the cards out like so many smallFrisbees. My only protest came when Irealized that for each rotation of the circlehe had included a place for me. “Oh, um, Ican’t—I’m not playing.” I instantly hatedthe way I sounded so small and finite. I

wanted to take the words away and makethem sound like they belonged to someonewho was older and more sophisticated.But whoever gets what they really want?

“Why not, Addie?” Polo’s concernwas so over ambitious that it would havebeen comical if it hadn’t been so sweet.You would have thought I’d just told him Iwas dying.

I was embarrassed to admit I didn’teven know the basics.

“I just, uh–I don’t know how.”Reid looked like he had fallen just out

of the scope of irritation while Polo’s facesuggested the notion was impossible. Icould feel the light-heartedness of my

good mood starting to slip away just anotch. I shrugged and looked for a wayout.

“That’s fine.” Ben looked at Charliewith a bemused expression. “It’s evenbetter, actually. Usually everyone comesin with their own falsified rules andregulations, now you’ll learn how to playproperly.” He nodded to Yuri, whocontinued dealing to include me.

“First things first,” Charlie whisperedin my ear. “You gotta know the hands. Aflush beats a straight every time. A royalflush is a straight flush with an ace as thehighest of the five cards, like…” To showme an example he stole up the remaining

cards and laid out an ace of spades, aking, a queen, jack, and a ten. Reid swore,but Ben just gave him a warning glare andYuri reshuffled the deck.

Charlie continued, “A straight flush isall the same numbers in the same suit. Iftwo happen in the same hand, the highestcard wins it. Four of a kind is the thirdbest hand, which is just the same numberfrom every suit. The highest four is fouraces, then four kings right on down to fourtwos.”

“A full-house is three of a kind andtwo of a kind!” said Polo, eager to get hisend in. “If there’s two during a game, thenthe biggest of the three wins it!”

Now it was Ben’s turn to break in. “Aflush is just five cards of the same suit. Inthe event that two flushes occur during onehand, the highest card wins.”

“What if those cards are the same?”He smiled. “It keeps going right on

down to the very last card. If both handsare the very same, they split the pot.”

“With a straight, you only have fivecards of any suit in order.” Ben continued“Similar with other hands, when there aretwo straights, the highest card wins. Acescan be used as a high card above a king ora low card below a two to make astraight.”

“Three of a kind is three of the same,”

said Charlie.Reid slammed a pack of cigarettes on

the table. “They’re called sets!”“No, they’re not. Just call them three

of a kind like everybody else,” Yuriretorted.

Charlie smiled at me. “Two pairs isfour cards of two ranks like two jacks,one spade and diamond, with two sixes,one heart one spade. One pair is the samething.”

“And the highest pair wins?”Ben pointed his cigar at me.

“Precisely.”I picked up my hand and kept my

cards close. “What happens if no one even

has a pair?”“That’s called high card! Then the

hand with the highest card is the winner!”“Okay, thanks, Polo.” I stifled back

my laughter as best as I could but found itdifficult. From the corner of my eye Icould see Charlie was making no effort tokeep his eyes from me.

I was told it was a friendly game,although I got the sense that things couldget competitive, particularly when Reidand Charlie started fighting over the oddnumber of green chips.

The ante up was the easiest part.Charlie took one of the white chips frommy pile and tossed it in the center. I

smiled gratefully. Then, since Reid was atYuri’s left, he went first, putting a redchip in the center of the table. Iendeavored to read his expression but sawlittle there beyond his own impatience.Polo threw in one red chip of his own. “Icall! I feel like my luck is turning aroundnow, you guys!”

“She’s lucky.” Under the table,Charlie’s foot kicked mine.

Reid scoffed, “Bad luck, maybe.”I ignored him and threw in one black

chip. “I raise.”Ben smiled and Charlie tried to peek

at my cards, but I held them close.“Are you sure you wanna to do that?”

he asked.“Probably not,” I whispered back.He shrugged. “Okay.” He threw in one

black chip.Ben became quiet, contemplative.

“You all have so much to learn.” Hetossed in one black chip and two greenchips.

“Switch out, anyone?” Yuri asked.Charlie leaned into me and I felt a

shiver come on. “After the first bet,everybody takes a draw. You can switchout two cards or keep ‘em. But don’t letnobody see.”

I nodded and slid a single card acrossthe table, trying to look like a

professional. I imagine it was a fairlypathetic attempt.

Reid drew his cards and so didCharlie and Ben. The plastic chips startedpiling up on the table like colorful littlecenterpieces.

Polo began pounding his feet againstthe steel legs of the table. “Hey! Hey!Hey! Now it’s getting interesting!”

“Damn,” Yuri said. “I fold.”“Whoo!”Ben put out the remainder of his cigar.

“Take it easy, Polo.”I was having a very hard time not

giggling. The uneasiness I felt was fleetingas I watched them come to life. Ben, Polo,

Yuri, Reid, and Charlie were full-grownchildren. I thoughtfully put my chips in thepot and kept my face blank. I looked backat my cards and re-questioned my strategy.I hoped being an amateur would excusehow badly I was about to embarrassmyself.

After a moment of studying his owncards, Charlie considered his options. “Ifold.”

Ben straightened in his chair andlooked back and forth from the plasticchips to his hand. I tried to decide if thatmeant anything similar to how Reidstarted using two hands to hold his cardsand put his elbows on the table. It was

difficult to multitask here and not bedistracted by the smug way Charlie leanedback in his seat and rested his hands onhis abdomen. The way he watched me wasaggressive now, and although I couldn’tsay I didn’t like it, I couldn’t help butwonder what it meant.

Ben offered the same amount into thetable’s center. He wouldn’t take his eyesoff Reid’s cards—his only real perceivedthreat. The two locked eyes and sent somesilent warning we could all sense.

“Ah geez! I guess I fold!” Polowhined and threw his cards down.

Charlie laughed and leaned againstme. “What are you gonna do?”

I raised my eyebrow and shielded mycards. “Raise.” I threw in an additionalred chip.

“Well, goddamn. What do you know?”Yuri and Polo started cacklingsimultaneously and Ben put in his bet.

After a slur of profanities andthrowing his cards across the table, Reiddecided to fold. “I hate you bastards.” Hethen took out his anger by kicking Polo’schair and shoving him to the ground.

Charlie tossed him the pack ofcigarettes from his back pocket then bentto help Polo up. “That’s the sportsmanshipwe all know and appreciate!”

I wanted to laugh and join in, but Ben

was staring me down. Strangely, it waslike he was trying to read my thoughts,boring a hole directly into my head. I onceagain got the feeling this game wasn’t veryfriendly—it was downright intimidating tothe point where the room literally startedclosing in. Counting down from ten wasn’thelping. Reciting lines from sonnetswasn’t helping. I thought maybe it was justhow guys behaved when in groups, butthen again, maybe it was an indication ofsomething more hostile, something moredangerous. Whatever it was continued toloom over me as Ben stared me down—warning me.

I clutched my cards, telling myself

mentally over and over not to bite my lip,play with my hair, or do anything else thatmight reveal me as the inexperiencedchild I was. I knew I had an extremelyweak hand, but from what I already knewabout poker, bluffing was a major part ofthe entire game. I realized I would losethis hand and many, many more after this,but I figured I would learn from mymistakes—a trial and error kind of thing.Besides, it was fun in a suspenseful sort ofway, almost like living out an action scenefrom a movie.

Everything went very quiet when Benthrew in another black chip. I saw Charlietense, Reid smiled, and then nudged Yuri

in the arm. Ben and I were deadlockedwith our eyes on one another.

“I call.”The smile that widened Ben’s face

could have started a riot. No one lookedsurprised when he threw down a veryhandsome straight. I put my cards downone by one. I was amazed my hands weresteady enough to keep the cards frombending at the corners. I might have evenseemed confident. I did my best to committhe different hand values to memory butwas only somewhat sure I did it correctly.For all I really knew, I was completely offand truly making a fool out of myself.

Luckily, I somehow managed to put

down five hearts—a full flush. Iunderstood instantly that I had won byPolo’s seal clap and the way Charliepushed out his chair with his fist outshouting, “Yah!”

Yuri gave Ben a slap on the back. “Ican’t believe she beat you, boss.”

Ben looked skeptical. “Are you quitepositive you’ve never played before?”

I smiled through my blush. “Yep.”Reid reached across to gather up the

cards. “Charlie Boy just knows how topick ‘em.”

I quickly lost track of how manygames were played, the number of plastic

chips I lost, and how many times someoneor other would get frustrated and knockover poor Polo. But as the night wore on,the amount of fun I had steadily grew, andbefore I realized it, I was laughing withease and even joining in on theconversation.

“You really think that The Strangerwas Welles’ best movie?”

I feigned offense. “Excuse me,” Icould hear my voice raising a few notesbut the laughter revealed me, “but that isexactly what I’m saying! You really don’tthink Citizen Kane is the greatest film ofall time, do you? Let alone his bestwork?”

Charlie took me by the shoulders andpulled me towards him playfully.“Careful, Yuri, I can’t hold her back muchlonger.”

I

Chapter 10

t was after midnight when we allscattered off to our separate dwellings.

Ben shouted down to us from aloading covered in cables and hangingwires, “Don’t you kids get lost now.”

Charlie shook his head, completelyexasperated. From down the hall I heardReid laughing.

“It’s too nice to be inside, too early,”I declared. I was so excited I could feelthe rush of the night cooling in mybloodstream.

“Let’s go do something,” I teasedCharlie as he walked me back, threadinghis arm with mine and pulling on hiselbow. He already had a cigarette in hismouth and was reaching for a lighter,patting his pockets. Every few seconds Iwould try to bat the cigarette from hismouth, but he clenched it with his teethand swiped at me.

He mumbled through the stick, “Likewhat? There ain’t exactly a drive-in‘round here.”

I took him by the elbow and draggedhim up a stairwell I recognized led toDeck B. “Ha, ha, very funny. Come on!”

He feigned annoyance but was allsmiles as I tugged him along. “You’reoutta control.”

I stopped momentarily and smiledback at him—I could barely see throughthe shroud that was my hair. “I know. Isn’tit fantastic?”

Other than bright flood lights at theends of each deck station, there was verylittle light on the deck itself. And for those

first few seconds until my eyes adjusted, Icould barely see my own shadow. Charliehadn’t been lying about it being one of thebusier times of the day—there were morepeople in their life vests and safetyhelmets wandering about than I had seenso far. Several individuals were workingwith large wrenches on a piece ofmachinery that I couldn’t have named ifmy life depended on it; others wereloading barrels into a crate, while somewere stringing cable. It was really quiteeerie the way they had that ability toignore me.

Reading me, Charlie said, “It’s a goodthing, trust me.”

“I do.” My eyes searched his, but Isaw some sadness there I didn’t care for.It made my own heart twinge with hurt tothink of him in pain, so I smiled and triedto change the subject.

“What is this called?” I gestured to theback of the ship. Without the Internet or alibrary, I was going to have to do researchthe old-fashioned way.

Charlie smiled and smacked himselfin the head. “You ain’t never beenboating, have you?”

“Only in books.”His smile grew wider and he turned

me around, wrapping his arms around mytorso and resting his chin on top of my

head. From an alternative perspective Ithought we must have looked like a totempole.

He reached his hand out and touchedthe side of the ship’s back. “This is thekeel. The—”

I reached out and ran my fingertipsover his, making him stumbleincoherently. So it would seem that hewas allowed to touch me but I wasn’tallowed to touch him? I would have to testthis hypothesis further.

After a brief interval he cleared histhroat. “The body of the ship is the hull.The keel is designed ‘round it.”

I leaned back and rested the weight of

my head against him. I felt him swallowand his heartbeat increased. His breathingbecame shallow. “What about the port andbow and all of that good stuff?” I wastesting the limits, putting his temperamentand my good sense at risk. What if hedidn’t want to take that chance with me?What if he didn’t want me?

“Ah, um, port is facin’ forwardcenterline; anything to your left is port.And then bow is just the ah…front of theship.”

He closed his eyes and sighed sodeeply I felt his stomach clench againstme. As he exhaled I could smell the cloveand musk of him. I suspected it might set

me off, cause me to do something stupid. Iburied my face in the soft stubble of hisneck, nuzzling the warmth and solacethere.

“Addie?” His fingers danced on mine,in my hair, the edge of my face.

“Yes?”“W-would you be real mad at me if I

tried to kiss you right now?”I smiled and looked up at him, every

one of my senses buzzing. “I would bemadder if you didn’t.”

He wrapped one hand in my hair andthe other around my hip to pull me close.And in one of those instances that lasteternities and only immortals are aware

of, our lips anchored on the shores of eachother.

We separated only when the need forair became unbearable. Even then, Iclutched onto him as though he were thecenter of the universe and rested myforehead against his for leverage—myentire world was spinning.

He sighed in my ear. “Oh, what ’aveyou done to me?”

For the first time in my life I didn’thave the proper answer. This wasn’tsomething I could study for, a formula Icould memorize, or a textbook I couldrefer to. Instead, all of my reason and factswere failing me, and the blossom of an

emotional experience was taking hold. Ilaughed to myself, maybe I was in moretrouble now than ever.

Charlie smiled against me. “What’s sofunny?”

I pulled away, despite everything mybody was telling me. It was good to knowthere was still a little self-controlremaining after all.

“Here I was only coming out herehoping to see some constellations.”

I heard Charlie snicker. “I ain’t seennothin’ but stars since you got here.”

My neck craned upwards at theglimmering specks of fire in the sky. Iimagined that was how the tiniest pearls at

the bottom of the sea would sparkle.Individually, each was only a singular starthat glossed over the night sky—but whenlooked at together, they reminded us ofhow insignificant and small our planetreally was. I tried to trace the outline of afamiliar shape with my finger andrecognize an image there, but Charlie wastrailing his hand up and down my forearm,making it extremely difficult toconcentrate.

“Is that one somethin’?” he askedwithout looking up.

I laughed a little and pushed his armaway. “It’s hard to tell. We don’t exactlyhave stars like this in New Jersey.”

He pulled me back instantly; I knew Iwouldn’t have the strength to resist again.“Tell me ‘bout it. I hardly saw nothinglike this before I came out here, either.”

His comment had me thinking againand before I had the sense to stop myself, Istarting blurting out questions.

“Hey, Charlie?”He had buried himself in the crook of

my neck and seemed content to stay there.“Hmm?”

“How did you get here? How did youend up becoming a thief?”

I could tell it was the wrong thing toask. He released me and his arms movedas far away as they could get while I still

tried to cling to them.“I’m sorry if—”“That was a long while ’go. It don’t

matter now.” The gruffness in his tonescared me. Not because it was violent, butbecause it sounded as though he wasturning away from me.

Desperate and in a gesture of goodwill, I ran my fingers through his hair andmessed it about his face. “Doesn’t a girlhave the right to ask a question every nowand then? Maybe I’ll be a journalist whenI grow up.”

He leaned into me and smiled. “Youare a serious pain, Addie Battes.”

I leaned forward just enough so that

my lips touched his ear. I felt him quiverat the slow, deliberate movement, and itfelt like his chest tightened. Just when theaction became too much for us both, Ishouted into his ear. “Takes one to knowone!”

I snorted with laughter at his reaction.He began ringing out his ear with one ofhis fingers like he had just been swimmingand tilted his head like a dog after afireworks show.

“I’m real glad you think that wasfunny.” He feigned annoyance, but I couldhear the smile in his voice, and after asecond he pulled me back to him. Wewere two clumsy dancers, stumbling over

each other and our laughter.“What I think is funny is how I smell

like something out of a cigar club. I feellike I’m in desperate need of a shower.”

He paused. “You ain’t going alone.”“I can handle myself.”Charlie gave me a Charlie smile and

sighed. “While I bought some safety, I‘bout trust a sailor on this ship as much asI trust myself.”

“I consider that an endorsement,Charlie Hays.”

“I don’t.” He frowned.I laughed nervously and hoped he

wouldn’t catch on to how embarrassed Iwas. “Well, you’re not coming in there

with me.”Correcting his posture, he stood

straight and tall then held out his hand as iftaking an oath. “I’ll be my usualgentlemanly self. I swear.”

I put my weight against my hip andconsidered his proposition. Of course, Istill trusted him to be watchful andrespectful at the same time, but could Itrust myself? I was no longer taking thetime to consider whether or not I wasattracted to Charlie. The pull I felt towardhim was an overwhelming urge thatcoursed throughout my whole being. And Iwas now afraid of what being alone withhim might mean in terms of my ability to

control myself. I had never beenphysically tempted before and I found itdownright frightening.

But Charlie was looking out for me—he had since the moment ’we’d met, and Iwould see to it I didn’t do anything wewould regret.

I took his hand. “I would expectnothing less.”

The silence ebbed into a steadystream of things left unsaid, things thatremained to be said, and what was meantto come. After some time, he took my handin his and curled his thumb around theindex finger, pointing them out to the sea.

“See the foam at the end of the waves?

Feel how warm the air just got? It’ll stormtomorrow for sure. Probably for days…”

Charlie lent me a faded gray t-shirtand some blue gym shorts, which, in truth,I was just as excited about as the showeritself. And while I had to roll up the shortsat the waist a few times just to get them tostay up, they were immensely comfortable.I adored the Charlie smell they had, andspent a few minutes before getting underthe water trying to commit the scent tomemory.

I spent a lot of time washing my hairand doing the little things like scratchingthe grit out from under my nails.

Showering always gave me a lengthyexcuse and a private realm in which tothink, and I was in desperate need of someserious meditation.

I tried to picture what would happenwhen we got to Singapore. If the shiparrived on schedule, I would have to go tothe embassy and talk to the police. But thatwas if Charlie kept his word this time.And as I wondered before—what if hedidn’t? What if he didn’t let me go?

Yet even if Charlie wanted me onsome kind of regular basis, I couldn’t justleave my family and disappear off the faceof the earth. As much as I wanted it, thelack of responsibility in running away

with Charlie was beyond me…even if heasked. I giggled at the memory of our kiss.He had held me so zealously; it had to bemore than just the physical attractionbetween us.

The highlights of my life seemedduller to me now. I didn’t care if mybooks were alphabetized or my gradepoint average was a 4.0. As I massagedthe soap from my hair, I laughed as Irealized how very little it all reallymattered. Yes, I had been abducted,threatened, and even assaulted, but I hadalso fallen in love. It sounded so brutal bycomparison to my feelings for Charlie,and yet if this was Stockholm Syndrome,

then I decided that everyone should have itat least once if it made them as happy as itwas making me.

Charlie had said repeatedly that hewasn’t a good person, and it was true thatI couldn’t condone some of the things hehad done. Still, his remorse had to countfor something, right? While he could nevermake up for the things he had done, hecouldn’t fool me, either. I had seen him inthose moments with his friends, hisdedication to his art, and that compassionfor me that led to my feelings for him. If Icould understand that he was so muchmore than a thief, then why couldn’t he?

In the cabin I pretended to be annoyedand covered my flaming cheeks with mycold, wet hair. It was a minimal butwelcome relief against the heat of theblush. I crossed my legs over each otherand sat down on the bed while Charliecontinued to stare me down and sketch.The day’s activities had hit me and I wasoverwhelmed by my own tiredness; mybody feeling the weight of it all. Charliesmiled at my yawn and sat down next tome.

“I should let you sleep.”“No!” I hadn’t meant to sound so

desperate, but I pulled him by the armbefore he had the chance to get up and

leave. I wanted to soak up every momentwith him I could, integrate him into mybloodstream. There was a wave ofseparation anxiety dropping into me at themere thought of him leaving. My organsfelt as though they would shrivel when ithappened; I would simply die.

“Will you stay?” I pleaded. Hiseyebrows nearly hit the ceiling and a grinspread across his face at the suggestion.“Just until I fall asleep?”

He nodded and kicked off his boots,taking his time to lie out on the bed withhis back against the wall.

“Here you go gettin’ a guy’s hopesup…”

I hit him lightly in the chest and lay outnext to him. Since the bed was only atwin, we were basically on top of eachother, on our sides so we could face oneanother. We shared the only pillow, butneither of us complained. I reached outand played my fingers over the serpent onhis neck as though it were a keyboard—itwas becoming increasing difficult not toimagine playing other parts of his body.

Charlie must have felt it too becausehe clasped my hand in his to prevent itfrom going any further.

“Th-that probably ain’t such a goodidea.”

I was hurt by the instant rejection. The

horrible idea came to my mind that maybeI had been completely wrong about hisreaction toward me. Maybe he had onlybeen showing me kindness out of thegoodness of his heart, a way of keepingthings civil between us. And could ourkiss have been a moment of pity?

“I’m sorry if I’m being a nuisance.”He scoffed, propped himself up on his

elbow, and looked me over. “Can I tellyou something?”

I was almost afraid to hear theanswer. “I guess.”

“That blush of yours is ‘bout the mostbeautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

I groaned into the pillow while he

laughed. “No! Come on, I was covering itso well!”

He gushed with laughter. “If you sayso.”

We laughed together until he pulledme forward by the chin, our faces onlyinches apart.

“You gotta be the greatest thing I everstole.”

Once more our lips collided and sentme gliding across the surf. It started outsimple and tender, but the current took usboth within a matter of seconds and webecame like two desperate swimmers,reaching out for more.

Abruptly he pulled, almost shoved, me

away. “Stop.” He was breathless andflushed, barely able to get the word out.

I closed my eyes to keep the roomfrom spinning. “Why?”

“‘Cause I’m a real bad man, but Ican’t do that, Addie.”

The confusion was beginning to beatme down. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve done a lot of bad things in myday. But if we do this…if I took that awayfrom you, I’d roast in hell for sure. You’retoo good to be here with me, Addie. Yougotta get yourself somethin’ a lot betterthan me—”

I put my finger over his lips to silencehim. “Being here with you has been the

greatest moment of my life. There isnothing better than this.”

Pulling me as close as our two bodiescould be, Charlie rested his mouth againstmy ear and laughed when I shiveredagainst him.

“I wish I could keep you.”

I slept the deep, dreamless sleep oflovers who carry no worries—wakingonly occasionally to remind myself thatCharlie was still with me, and to snuggleup more closely against him. As wedrifted off into a world of sleep and stars,I felt his arms reaffirming their hold on mewith a gentle tug. At some point during our

unconsciousness, our legs entangled andsnaked around each other as if the naturalneed to be together grew to be too muchfor them.

The sound of his soft snoring in myear soothed me in a trance of my own. Icould hardly picture doing this withanyone else during my lifetime. What hadCharlie intended when he said I should getsomething better? Now I was confidentthat he wanted me as much as I wantedhim, but there was still something holdinghim back, keeping his happiness at bay,and I would be damned if I didn’tdiscover its origins and obliterate itcompletely.

W

Chapter 11

hen I awoke I fully expected to begreeted with some smart comment in alow southern drawl. I reached out with myeyes still closed, hopeful my hand wouldlatch onto his, or that I might tease his hair

before he was even awake. Unfortunately,none of these things came about as he wasgone before I woke up, his scent stillrelatively fresh on his side of the bed.

I quickly brushed my hair into a bun-ponytail hybrid and headed for the galley.My only mission was to find Charlie andscold him for leaving me alone. I was onlyreally aware of a few locations on theship, and since the rec room seemedunlikely, I figured that hunting for foodwould be the next most logical choice. Icould also feel my own stomachcomplaining with the occasional gurgle soI decided I’d head there first and take itfrom there.

Without any clocks around, it wasdifficult to tell what time of day it was.Judging, however, by the lack of anyone inthe corridors, I guessed that it was mid-morning to early afternoon. I laughed alittle as I jogged up the stairwell—onlydays ago not knowing the exact time (or atleast not having access to it) would havemade me freak out. Today it felt like theguess was good enough.

I was cautious about going into thegalley by myself. If Charlie wasn’t there,then it would probably be prettyawkward. Luckily, he was already sittingat the cafeteria table—freshly showeredand everything.

I spent a few minutes watching himthrough the bay windows of the galleydoors. He and Yuri were laughing heartilyabout some jockey and a horse thatseemed to cause them a great deal ofamusement. Meanwhile, Polo was tryingto find an alternative for coffee filterswhile simultaneously rummaging throughthe drawers and cupboards for some heswore he had.

Charlie and Yuri tossed the filtersback and forth to each other while Polo’sback was turned. If I hadn’t known him upuntil that moment, I would have said hewas an average man with the same amountof struggle as anyone else who was just

enjoying the moment. His immature humormade him seem familiarly brilliant,casting a bright hue over him I couldn’ttake my eyes off of. If I didn’t know anybetter, I may have guessed he was a newlyfreed man, basking in the carelessness thatcame with that epiphany.

I pushed open the door and ambushedthe group, managing to grab the coffeefilters in mid-air as they were beingtossed back to Yuri.

“Here, Polo, look what I found!”I looked down on the laughing duo and

shushed them. “Really? Shame on youtwo.”

Charlie snorted. “You really want that

boy havin’ caffeine in his system?”I looked at the filters as I considered

his argument. “That is a good point…”“Addie! Addie! You found them! Oh

man, I’ve been looking everywhere forthose things! Where did you get them?”Polo rushed over and hugged megratefully.

I was already beginning to regret mykindness.

Yuri laughed at my expression. “Let’ssee if he can’t burn it again, ah?”

I cursed myself over their laughter andtook a seat beside Charlie. While I wastempted to wrap myself up in him, theneed for public decency won out over

basic desire. Still, I felt a light squeeze ofCharlie’s hand on mine when they metunder the table—an inconspicuous lover’sgreeting.

I wanted to stay in my daze, to remainwrapped in those few moments we weresharing, but the loud clamoring of fallingobjects took us away from each other.

“Polo!” Yuri bellowed. “What thehell you doing over there?”

The red top of Polo’s head appearedover the top of a counter. “I can’t find thatone frying pan for making sandwiches! It’sthe best one! If I don’t have it, the grilledcheeses won’t taste the same.”

I rested my hand against my chin and

looked at the mess over Yuri’s shoulder.“I put it back in the pantry above thestove, Polo…where I found it.” I rolledmy eyes at Charlie and laughed.

“Ain’t no point trying to clean upPolo’s messes,” he said and grinned atme.

“I wasn’t. Rather, I was cleaning upafter myself after we made breakfast.”

Yuri leaned back and crossed hisarms over his chest. “You made thoseomelets yesterday?”

Charlie nodded slowly, but I lookedback at Polo, who was struggling to carryabout ten different things in his arms atonce. “Well, I just helped—”

Yuri laughed. “Right.”I jumped as something else crashed to

the floor. “I got it! I got it!” Polo called.“Well maybe you can go help him

again before we all starve?”Charlie laughed. “You think he’s

gonna kill himself in here or down in theengine room?”

Yuri frowned as he glanced fromCharlie to me. Apparently he didn’trealize I knew about the knockers. It madethe atmosphere tense enough for me toknow that maybe I needed to disappear fora while.

Reluctantly, I let go of Charlie’s handand walked over to the kitchen nook. “Hey

there, Polo—need some help?”Almost as soon as my back was

turned, I heard swearing and hushedwhispers. It made me uneasy immediately.Even though I tried to ignore it and muddlethrough the tasks of slicing tomatoes andchopping lettuce, it was difficult todiscount the underlying anger that boiledin Charlie’s voice.

Polo leaned over me to collect theloaves of bread I had put aside. Hissudden action, combined with my lack ofattention, nearly caused the surgicalremoval of his pinky finger.

“Oh God, Polo, I’m so sorry!” Idropped the knife and stepped away from

the cutting board. My lack of ability tokeep myself out of harm’s way was onething, but I didn’t think I would be capableof forgiving myself if my clumsy actionscaused someone else to get seriouslyinjured, too.

He just shrugged it off, becoming, likeI, more interested in the growing argumentat the table.

“What do you think they’re talkingabout over there?” I whispered.

Polo laughed his Polo laugh,unnerving me more. “You, Addie! Duh!”

I cringed and turned back around tothe storage space where I thought I mightpretend to look for something. I had very

few options but to look away and just tryto make-believe I didn’t know what wasgoing on—although I suppose that wasn’tentirely untrue. It seemed like Charlie wastrying to stand up for me. Yuri was clearlyvery angry. But hadn’t he and the otherguys come to realize by now that I wouldnever speak a word against them if itmeant hurting Charlie?

Didn’t they understand by now Iwould do everything I could to keep themfrom the trouble of the law? I blamedmyself. I simply hadn’t been clear aboutmy intended loyalty. From outside thepantry, both Charlie’s and Yuri’s voicesrose to new octaves. I cringed at the

thought of them coming to blows.I would give them a minute to work it

out for themselves before telling Yurimyself I had no desire to say anything tolaw enforcement. Hopefully, that wouldclear everything up and there would be noill will between us. With any luck, Charliewouldn’t lose any of his friends as a resultof my poor judgment. I would go back tolife as I knew it. We would remain in onepiece.

The concept brought back thecomplications my feelings for Charliecarried. By protecting Charlie from thelaw, I was also protecting his friends,which I didn’t know if I should

necessarily do. My mind evoked thenameless truck driver Wallace had killedto save money and the family he mighthave left behind. I knew Ben and Charliewere killers. Polo incapable, but Yuri andReid were violent…so what were myresponsibilities here? If I didn’t sayanything to the police when the time came,then any deaths or injuries that occurredafter this because of these guys would alsobe partially my fault. Still, the briefestimage of Charlie spending twenty or soyears behind bars on my account made menauseous.

I could see it all very clearly—if thepolice caught one of them, Charlie would

turn himself in. He would never let any ofthem go to prison for him. I could onlyhope that any of them would do the same,though I didn’t know any of them wellenough to know if they would sacrifice forhim.

So what was I going to do?I waited a few minutes, looking

through large cans of vegetables, runningmy thumbnail over the ripple of the tincans. The last thing I wanted to do wasdrive any sort of wedge between Charlieand his friends. Given the way theyinteracted together, it seemed as thoughthey had not only worked together for along time, but had endured one of those

long-term friendships that was only madebetter over the years. I had seen Robbiecome home from his deployment with afew friendships like that, and he seemedlike a better man for it. If Charlie wasendangering his relationship with hisfriends even a little bit because of me,then I didn’t want to be a part of that.

“Hey Addie, there you are!” Polobounced into the storage area, practicallyat a gallop.

“Hi, Polo.” I hoped he wouldn’t catchmy sad smile. “What are the boys up to?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yuri is all up in atear about something. He got Charlie in ittoo for a minute, but I think it’s okay now

that Ben broke it up.”“Polo, what exactly was the fighting

about?”Polo tapped his head, struggling to

remember. “Um, something about whatwe’d do when we got to port and ah, ah…Yuri said Charlie needed to get his headstraightened.”

I held my hand out to keep him fromanything more. “Okay, Polo, I think I’vegot it. Um—when are we supposed to getto Singapore?” I tried not to sound tooobvious. “Is everything on schedule, Imean?” I twisted my thumbs aroundthemselves anxiously; I no longer knewwhat I wanted the answer to be. More

time on the ship meant more time withCharlie, but it also meant more time that Ikept Dad and Robbie worrying.

“Oh, um, we should get there, like, theday after tomorrow, I think.”

Only two more days?I only had two full days left with

Charlie. It seemed unbearably unfair.I swallowed my feelings and headed

back to the kitchen. “Is Charlie still in thegalley?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! Ben told Yuri totake a walk, though. So we get first dibson sandwiches.”

I pretended to be enthusiastic. “That’sreally good, Polo…really great.”

Charlie was no longer sitting with thesame light composure I had come acrosswhen I first walked into the galley.Instead, he was bent over his chair, hisneck craning to see the floor as thoughthere were something intensely wonderfulonly he could see. He was frowning nowand it pained me to see it. I walked overto him quietly while he wrung his handstogether—trying to shake something out.

“Hi there.” I sat in his lap, leaningback while he caught me in his arms. Hisface lightened up considerably while Ireclined back and pretended to swoon.“What’s with all of the drama?” Myoverdrawn southern imitation managed to

make him smile just a little.“Nothin’ I can’t handle.” His voice

was quiet, bordering on anxious.I straightened myself up and wrestled

his nose between my index and middlefinger. It was a lame but effective enoughinterrogation technique that was appliedoften enough on Robbie and me when wetried to cover up a misdeed.

“You better get talking, sir.” I did thebest imitation of an authority figure I couldmanage.

He flinched and pulled himself away.“You vicious little thing. Remind me notto get on your bad side.”

I pulled him closer by the sleeve of

his shirt. “Don’t change the subject. Iseverything okay?”

He sighed and wallowed in the crookof my neck. Maybe I should have harpedhim further about what was going on, but Icouldn’t pull him away from me—hesimply felt too good. Slowly, he began tokiss the base of my collarbone, the lobe ofmy ear, and I felt myself slipping away.

“I like this spot,” he whispered in myear. “I think it might be my favorite.”

My legs quivered against his andclenched at his waist. If he was trying todistract me it was working much too well.

“You don’t play fair.” I tried to laugh,but the sound came out as a labored

breath.“Hey!” He pulled away abruptly. “I

was gonna do some work with thecontainer gear. You feel like helpin’ a guyout?”

I bit my lip and simulatedconsideration. “Well, I’d have to checkmy schedule, but I think after my spatreatment I might have some time.”

As we laughed, black smoke beganwafting from the stove to the remainder ofthe galley in heavy tufts and a majorstench.

“Oh man! Oh man!” Polo grabbed atowel and hopped up on the counter tobegin waving at the smoke detector.

“Don’t worry,” Charlie said. “Thishappens all the time.”

I nodded in agreement, thinking ofhome. “I completely understand.”

Although the work was mundane, itfelt good to stretch out in the sun and kickoff my sandals. Charlie had assigned methe task of staining some old antennaholders that had just been rid of their rust,and I was more than happy to be of anykind of use. The waves below wereparticularly forceful today, throwingthemselves against the side of the shiploudly enough to even drown out the noiseof power washing. I held on to the side of

the deck and looked over into the ocean—it seemed more menacing today than it hadin the days before.

Charlie came to stand beside me.“It’ll storm later.”

It was worrisome the way he repeatedhimself. He was distracted enough to stareout beyond the long waves, and I couldsee that cumbersome weight on hisshoulders again.

“That should be fun. I like the rain.”He glanced over his shoulder. I saw

his brow crease. “Depends on the kind ofstorm. Could put us ’hind schedule if it’sreal bad.”

I picked up one of the brushes and

dipped it in the thick, protective coating.“Yeah, Polo mentioned the ship wouldarrive on time…”

He turned away from me and beganhammering away at a bolt. “You’ll behome before ya know it.”

“That’s really good.” My voicecracked a little, but I tried to count thebrush strokes and stay focused on the taskin front of me. If I meditated on it enough,then maybe I wouldn’t have to think abouthow sad the idea of being away fromCharlie really made me.

He began working on a set of boardsopposite me, resting his back againstmine. I had the sense he wanted to say

something but didn’t know how. I heardhim sigh and open his mouth to speakmultiple times before he eventually spoke.“Addie, I wish that things could bedifferent. But when ya get off this ship,there’s gonna be a lot going on, people aregoing to be asking you all kinds ofquestions—”

“You don’t have to say it,” Iinterjected. “I know I’ll have to saysomething, but if I start practicing now,maybe I can get myself to cry on cue andat the very least—”

“No, Addie.” He turned aroundswiftly and grabbed me by the shoulderswith such ferocity that I lost the grip on my

paint brush. “No!” He tried again. “I don’twant you to lie for me. The guys, they…”He sighed and loosened his grip. Still, hisaccent was incredibly thick, and I wasnow knowledgeable enough to understandthat meant trouble. “—they want me to getya to lie or stay with us long-term.”

I tried to digest the information he wasfeeding me. “I couldn’t do that, Charlie.The staying part, anyway…”

His voice caught in his throat. “Itwouldn’t be an option.”

I threw myself into his arms. Whatwas he saying? Was I still in some kind ofphysical danger? No. No. I knew better—Charlie wouldn’t hurt me. He simply

couldn’t.“You wouldn’t do that, Charlie. I

know you, and I know you wouldn’t.”“Addie, ya ain’t listenin’. There are a

lotta things ya don’t know. I’ve doneawful things…” He squeezed me tighter,clutched me as though he could seep theinformation into my skin without everhaving to say anything out loud.

“You keep saying that, Charlie. Andmaybe you have done some things in yourpast, but you’ve been good to me and Iknow you that way. It doesn’t have to beanything different.”

Again he took me by the shoulders,only this time he shook me, and I could

see the anger in his face beginning tosurface, the danger threatening to erupt.“You’re wrong, Addie! Damn it, you don’tget it! You wanna know what kind of guy Iam? You wanna see what I can do to ya?I’ll show ya!”

He took me then by the wrist,forcefully—just enough to hurt me.

I hadn’t seen most of these hallwaysbefore, and fear flamed inside as wepassed the crewmen. Some of them lookedup at us, but the majority of them kept onworking on their assigned tasks. WhateverCharlie had done had been effective,because I was still as invisible as ever;people moved out of the way but refused

to look at me.“I’ll show ya. I’ll show ya. I’ll show

ya…” He muttered the mantra over andover to himself. But I was still sure it wasonly him he was trying to convince.

We passed by the Radio Room andanother labeled Supplies, then one morethat said Gym. I tried to memorize thedifferent angles and sides of the halls thatled to each place in case I didn’t have aguide to get back, but my legs were havinga hard time keeping up with Charlie’s longstrides down the hall. He seemed to beunaware I was struggling.

Finally we reached a huge set of metaldoors Charlie said led to Hold 6. He was

speaking so quickly I could barelyunderstand what he was saying. He half-dragged me through the doors and Iunderstood vaguely why he was soexcited. I stood in awe of the web-likestructure that framed the sides of the hold.In-between each segment of containerswere hefty ladders only connecting morecargo containers—it was like they plowedstraight to the gray of the sky.

The sight of the container cratesthemselves was overwhelming. They alsostood towering, in the hold’s center,stacked one by one on top of each other,and covered in the graffiti of five or sixlanguages, and some with a barrage of

labels. They came in a variety of colorslike orange and lime green, brown, andgray—though some of them were so rustedtheir original color was unidentifiable.

“Walk ’long the side here!” I watchedhim disappear onto a plank to the left, butI was hypnotized by the view of thecontainers and the long winding path theymade.

“Wait for me!”I had trouble keeping my feet steady

on the metal bridge with only my sandalsas leverage for my ankles, but I focused ondistributing my weight evenly so I didn’tfall over—here in the hold it was mucheasier to feel the shifting of the ship and

moving of the waves from outside.Finally, I saw Charlie jumping up anddown on a platform on the other side ofthe bridge, waving his hands to get myattention. I was both amazed and annoyedthat he had managed to reach the end of theplank so quickly—some of us were notequipped with such accurate gross motorskills.

I sighed and waved the loose strandsof hair from my face. “What are you tryingto prove, Charlie?”

I followed him to the end of theplatform where a darkened booth sat incobwebs and shadows. I felt myself growcold when I realized what it was—Polo

hadn’t been using a metaphor orexaggeration. The booth was literally anold-time confession booth with a dividingsection and a door for each side. Charliedemonstrated to me how both doors werechained and had large padlocks as Ihopped off the end of the final plank.When opened, the dividers and veiledwindow that should have separated apriest from the confessor had beenknocked out to create a slightly biggerspace. He laughed as he demonstrated it,and it was anything but his Charlie laugh.

“Charlie?” My voice was shaking andI had to start again. “Wh-what is th-thisfor?”

I touched the engraved wood of one ofthe entry doors. It felt like somethingearthy, aged by time and dragged down bythe experience of many different kinds ofsorrow.

“These were gonna be yeraccommodations, darlin’!” He used hishands for emphasis, imitating theenthusiasm that could be compared to acar salesman. “It ain’t been used in a reallong time, but the last time was when meand Ben caught a steward tryin’ to stealinventory for hisself ‘afore we got to port!You know what we did to him in there,Addie? I’ll give ya a hint: it involvespliers and fingers.”

Nausea rose in my stomach and Iclenched at my abdomen to prevent thesickness from coming. The idea ofsomeone being tortured was enough tomake me ill, but knowing full well that Iwas within the area of said torture washorrifying. I was not naïve enough to thinkthat these things didn’t happen, but seeingit in reality and being able to envisionthose who had done it disturbed megreatly.

I didn’t want to know Charlie wasqualified to hurt people like that.

Hanging from the confessional werestrings of velvet tapestry, stained withsome brown fluid. I cringed.

“Stop it, Charlie.”“No, Addie.” He was back to being

stern. His face was like a stone, hard andsmooth. For the first time since I hadwoken up on board, I was truly afraid.“This is how it is.” He pointed to theconfessional. “This is what we do withstowaways.”

The tears began to swell, and in spiteof the humidity, I wrapped my armsaround myself as though they could keepthe words away. “I don’t care whatyou’ve done in the past, Charlie. It can’tbe undone, so there’s no point in dwellingon it.”

“It ain’t just the past.” Violently he

reached into his pocket and pulled out asmall card of plastic. It took me a momentto realize it was the Wi-Fi receiver for thecomputer. He then stepped up to me,slowly and deliberately, each of his stepsmore heavy than the last. “I lied ‘bout nothavin’ reception.” Every word slithered inmy ear.

“This ship ain’t that old,” hecontinued. “Only the real older ones can’tget the satellite signals…”

My insides recoiled, my intestineswelded to the sides of my body and pulsedto be released. I cupped my hand to mymouth to prevent the sickness from comingand closed my eyes. Though I begged them

not to, the tears began to fall freely. Hehad lied to me the entire time, let me lie inworry about my family without any contactwith them for days. Had I been so verywrong about him, about who he was?

He threw the card at the ground andstomped on it until it was no more than afew pieces of plastic and bits of shinymetal.

Those moments of dark that werealways lingering were no longerthreatening anything. They worked theirway over him freely now, making Charliepace back and forth along the panel,tearing at his hair, raging at me, himself,and no one.

“Ya know what I was thinkin’ ‘boutwhen I tossed you in the back of thatSUV?”

I stood motionless and silent.“I was wonderin’ how much money a

pretty little thing like you mighta madeover here.”

I backed away. The crowdedcompartment was closing in and my tearswere suffocating me from the inside out.What he was saying wasn’t true, itcouldn’t be.

“Alotta money in girls anymore.” Hissteps began following mine as I backedout of the hold. I needed to get away fromthere, away from these lies he was telling

me.“Been thinkin’ ‘bout it for ’while. Lot

more profit and fewer trips every year.Could retire in less than a year or two ifwe did it right…course we couldn’t takegirls like you, we’d have to get runawaysor junkies. But there’s a lot of ‘em outthere who don’t have nobody lookin’ for‘em. The only reason you ain’tdisappeared is ‘cause you get us so muchGawddamn attention!”

I reached the end of the aisle andturned the door desperately. By now I wassobbing, panicking openly, but I couldn’tkeep myself from looking at him—theexterior of his handsome face was cold

and glazed over with a cruelty I had letmyself believe was only crucial for whencalled for. Yet I had been fooled, dupedby a thin layer of charm and humor.

I fell into the hall and even trippedover myself as I tried to get back up. Onthe way down, my ankle became caughtunder my weight and twisted at a funnyangle, sending a twinge of pain up my leg,but I ignored it and bolted for the directionof the crew cabins. I ran as quickly as mybody and blinding tears allowed. Hedidn’t bother to run after me as I feared,but I did hear jarring noises, one after theother echoing behind me. I ran faster,terrified with the sudden notion that he

was now throwing things at me. I didn’tstop to look—I only pushed my bodyharder, not stopping until I reached thesafety of Charlie’s cabin.

After I locked the door, I pushed thecrate in front of it so it was leaning againstthe knob. It was stupid to even be in thatcabin when Charlie was probably themost dangerous person I could encounter.But I was also relatively unfamiliar withthe ship and didn’t know where else to go.The terrible things he had said to me werericocheting in my head. I detested howmuch sense it all made. I knew just fromwatching the news that horrific thingshappened to young women every day and I

had had enough sense to worry about thisearlier, so how could I have been sostupid? I wasn’t safe here. I had neverbeen safe here. And I must have been outof my mind to have thought otherwise.

With all of my frustration and grief, Itried pushing the makeshift bed andmattress up against the door barricade, butonly ended up causing further strain on myalready sore ankle. Whatever kind ofwooden boards were being used assupport beams were much too steady forme to even budge, much less move acrossthe room. I compromised by dragging themattress to the barricade and slidingmyself against it. In reality, however, I

knew it was useless. If someone reallywanted to get in here it wouldn’t be toodifficult. All I had really done was maybebuy myself some time.

I tossed my head against the mattress,letting the tears flow freely. More thananything I felt like the world’s greatestidiot for simply believing him when hetold me there would no longer be anInternet connection when we got to acertain point. Why hadn’t I pestered himabout it further? Why didn’t I try to thinkof something to get the Wi-Fi card?

Because I had been stupid, that’s why.I had let myself fall and get wrapped up insomething that was so far off from reality I

hadn’t even realized what was reallygoing on.

Charlie had admitted the only reason Iwas alive at this point was because of theawareness of my abduction in the media.In that I wanted to be grateful—I had readthat the media knew who he and Benwere, and Charlie had revealed Dad wasmaking a lot of fuss about my kidnapping.In the face of all of his lies that one heldthe most potential truth—Dad and Robbiewould never stop looking for me, even ifthey thought they had to find Charliehimself.

I almost wish they wouldn’t.I wished no one was looking for me

and I would quite literally fall off the faceof the planet and never be seen again.While I was far from perfect, nothing hadmade me feel less intelligent than trustingin Charlie. It was almost unfathomablethat I could spend a lifetime relying on myintelligence as a main source of myidentity when clearly I was so daft. I feltlike he had taken a bulk of me away frommyself, leaving the remaining pieces filledwith charred holes and burned ends.

I

Chapter 12

cried until my eyes burned and the wallsbecame blurry. I started thinking of Dadand Robbie, which was a mistake becauseit only made me more miserable. Here Iwas, this selfish little girl wrapped up in

my ridiculous infatuation, and I hadcompletely forgotten the hardships myfather and brother were probably goingthrough. Only a true monster wouldencourage the pain they were enduringnow—what we all were enduring.

The last genuine hope I had to cling toremained with the knowledge that wewould arrive at port any time now. If thatwas still true, then Charlie, the guys, andthe remaining crew only had a limitednumber of hours to change their mindabout what to do with me. But what did Iknow about truth? Maybe what I had heardfrom Polo had been a lie to begin with.Obviously Charlie’s affections toward me

had been a lie. Despair pinched myinsides as I relived it again. How naïvecould I have been to have believed thattrue love could be conceived andconsummated in less than a week?

I recklessly paced the room. I felt likea caged zoo animal. Really, a betterdescription would be to say that I was abird that was never meant to fly, practicaland intelligent like a penguin or fowl. Soeven though all of my parts were there,from an evolutionary standpoint I wasdefective. That’s why it had been reallyquite silly of me to think someone likeCharlie could ever love me. He was anuntamed beast in the wilderness who

needed his pack. Meanwhile, I wasdesigned to function in solitude as Ialways had.

This was my fault, I decided. I shouldhave known better.

A light tapping sounded somewhereoutside the cabin. At first I thought it wasthe rapping of someone outside the doorand panic clutched at me. But the tappingwas more widespread than that, and Iremembered how erratic the waves hadbeen and what Charlie had said about theimpending storm.

At least he hadn’t seemed to be lyingabout that.

The tapping increased into a steady

sheet of rain that I could hear bouncingfrom the ship’s sides like they were flimsypieces of scrap. Every few minutes, Icould hear a thunder clap in the distanceas well, but it sounded too far away to doany damage. I was glad the storm hadcome when it did. I still didn’t knowanything about being on a ship, but Iimagined there wouldn’t be a whole lot oftime for a crew to kill and dismember itsstowaway when the weather wasdisagreeable. Hopefully, Charlie was faraway from the cabin, doing somethingproductive to keep the ship and its cargosafe.

I looked down at my swollen ankle

and grimaced. It looked worse than itprobably was, but it still hurt. The ball ofthe joint had become swollen and gainedan abnormal crimson color. I should havebeen putting ice on the sprain, but thatwasn’t an option now. I could only hope itwould be okay in case I had to run. Oddswere I would have to do a lot of running.

I listened to the rain, a constantpummeling on the outskirts of the ship. Ibecame somewhat concerned at theintensity of the storm. The ship would becapable of handling this sort of weather,right? I began pacing again and consideredmy options. Concentrating on the sharppain above my foot helped to keep me

centered, helped to keep the fear away.When the storm passed, there was a

very real chance they would come for me.Then again, it was still possible that theywouldn’t. It could only be just one moreday until the ship landed somewherewhere I could find an American embassy,or at least someone to help me. But whatwould I do until then? These guys had toknow I was in here by this point; I couldgive them that much credit.

What was my best move here? Oncethey considered their options and realizedI would probably repeat everything I sawand heard to the first law enforcementofficial I came into contact with, they

would probably cut their losses and tossme overboard, laughing as I struggled forbreath.

I shuddered at the notion.Okay, so what to do? If I stayed

bunkered, at least I was familiar with mysurroundings and could hold out here for aday or so if need be. On the other hand, Iwas a sitting duck. I had turned myself intoa prisoner that they had access to anytimethey wanted, and that could only meantheir advantage over mine.

I was going to have to get out. If I wassmart about this, I could hide quietlysomewhere and then sneak off during whatI hoped would be the chaos of getting to

port. With any luck, my new talent ofbeing invisible would pay off here, andmaybe I could just slip off without muchtrouble.

I put my brush back in my bag andsecured it tightly to my back. I was justtrying to psych myself up when an ideaoccurred to me. I glanced over atCharlie’s stack of sketchbooks and pickedone up. This one was unfamiliar to me—the one he never let me look through.Without looking at it, I put it in my bag. Idecided I wanted to take a piece of himwith me, even if it was only something asinconsequential as a couple of drawings.It was a souvenir, I told myself. Besides,

the F.B.I might want it to profile him orsomething.

It didn’t take much for me to justifymyself.

It took longer to slide the mattressback over than it did to move it in the firstplace. But once I did, I was particularlycareful to put my ear to the door to listenfor voices or footsteps. If someone waswaiting to intercept me, I at least wantedto be prepared. The only thing I couldreally hear, though, was the sound of myheart beating in my ears and the rainpounding on the deck above. After a fewagonizingly long minutes, I decided it wassafe to remove the crate and unlock the

door.As I hoped, the door opened without

any issues and I slipped out quietly,closing it behind me. I hobbled out into thenarrow hall, not failing to realize howmuch my ankle hurt now. Still, I tried to beas cautious as possible. I noticed sometool boxes and cables hanging from thepipes and rafters, which concerned me alittle, but I tried not to focus on them andkept my senses on the direction I had comefrom last. I distinctly remembered whatPolo had mentioned to me about Hold 6and how it was the last place to getunloaded. I anticipated that even ifsomeone tried to find me there, I could

hide away amongst the containers and thenrun out when an ideal opportunitypresented.

I heard some voices charging down astairwell to my right as I descended acorridor, but I slid behind a large metalframe where I managed to squish myselfup enough against the wall so the groupdidn’t see me. At what felt like twohundred miles a minute, I was certain mypounding heart was a GPS of my location—beeping me away to everyone. But theyjogged past and headed in a completelydifferent direction, not having seen me.

I entered the hold, which was stillunlocked. Although it was dark and the

rain poured through the webs of the crates,it still felt safer than Charlie’s cabin. Myeyes took more than a few minutes toadjust, however, as soon as they did, Ibegan hobbling on the planks and usedboth hands to hold onto the sides of therailing. My hands shook as the plankssqueaked from the rain and the motion, butrelief still welled within me. If nothingelse, I had gotten somewhere I could buymyself some time. I felt proud of myresourcefulness and began thinking thatmaybe I could get through this after all.

I had to pause every few steps andrest my weight on my good leg. It wasfrustrating, grueling work, but I kept

telling myself it was necessary and I hadto be practical. The daunting part was atleast relieved by the rain coming throughthe ceiling. I opened my mouth and let itfill with the freezing water. Within amatter of minutes, however, I wasdrenched. I briefly considered going back,but knew that being already halfwayacross the hold and in the midst of themaze of containers, it wasn’t very smart.Besides, I didn’t have anywhere else togo.

I stopped once more, a few stepsbefore the final edge of the passage. Thewind was crisp and roared against themetal containers, making them echo in a

song I didn’t understand the lyrics to. Inanother circumstance, I might have likedthe noise, I might have thought it was nice,but it only gave me a headache now. Ilooked up at the wall of the great ship andsaw an anomaly in the metal flanking. Ireached my hand up to touch theabnormality. It was as though a hole hadbeen made in the wall, only it hadn’t comethrough all of the way. I pulled myselfcloser and examined the deformity in anattempt to figure out what it was.Strangely enough, it was misshapen in itscenter and squared at its ends. I hadn’tnoticed it my first time here. As I squinted,I thought I saw smeared red blotches in the

center of its core. When I realized whatthe red was, I was almost in a full-on runto get to the platform.

Once I did get there, the pain runningthrough my ankle had me out of breath. Ilooked at the dark sky as my lungs heaved.I leaned against the back of one of thecontainers, no more than a few feet fromthe confessional itself. I took off my slingbag. Already it was completely soaked.Even its Velcro straps threatened to comeundone from the sogginess. I cursedmyself and my unusual lack of planning.With everything else, I didn’t want to loseCharlie’s sketches. They were the onlypart of him that I would really have when

everything was said and done. I wanted tocry at the thought of him. Though I mayhave memories of him, they were falseand tainted by lies. And when the timecame, they wouldn’t even be mine. Iwould probably have to share most ofthem with the F.B.I. He had never reallycared for me. That had all been a lie tokeep me placid. But maybe I could lookback on these someday and lie to myself,pretend like I had mattered to him in someway or another.

My eyes ballooned with tears and Ibegan to laugh at the same time. Howcompletely insane! Here I was in seriousbodily danger and I was worried about

some stupid sketches? Calm, Addie, calm.Take a deep breath and relax. I had tokeep it together for a little while longer. Icould lose my mind later when I got home.But until then, what about those thesesketches? I clasped my bag as close to meas possible, although I knew it wasn’tdoing much good. Even putting it under myshirt probably wouldn’t make much of adifference at this point. My eyes scannedthe room for a solution…

In the end I opted to enclose thesketchbook inside the Da Vinci coffeetable book in the hopes the inventor wouldprotect my lying love. My hands combedover the various contents of my bag, the

few scattered bobby pins at the bottom,some coins, a charger for my phone, thefrayed ends of my wallet. All practicalparts of a life that was probably about toend.

My eyes wandered over to theconfessional again. It was just as dark andominous as when I had seen it last. I couldnever forget what Charlie had told meabout the sorts of things that had gone onin there and what he truly thought of me.My mind could see it all very clearly nowin the cold and the rain. I wanted to banishthe images away, but they kept replayingthemselves in my head. My tears meldedtogether with the rain and ran together into

the sketchbook.I curled deeper into myself, making

myself impossibly small. I had drasticallyunderestimated the cold and how it wouldaffect my time hiding in the hold. Ishivered uncontrollably, my teethchattering until my jaw hurt, my flesh anever-ending row of goosebumps thatstung at the touch.

I recited poetry in my head and thecapitals of every state, but it did nothing toquench my growing fear. After everythingI had been through these last few days,would I now die from hypothermia? Ireluctantly removed one of my hands fromin-between my knees and examined the

numb fingertips. Through strained eyes, Icould make out a lovely shade of violetthat began at the nail and stretched to thebase of the knuckle. I laughed and tried torub my shoulders. What was better, Iwondered: dying sooner or later? Freezingto death or dying by the hands of the man Iloved?

The tears were hot on my facecompared to the icy rain water I could nolonger avoid as the wind blew it inwithout reprieve. Charlie had been myonly protector here, the only onedefending me. Even the sweet andoblivious Polo might be accepting to mysudden demise if his close friends had

been the ones to cause it. Without Charlieto speak for me, I was as good as dead.

I squeezed my eyes and prayed therain would stop so I wouldn’t turn into ahuman Popsicle. Maybe I could hold outand tolerate the cold until they made portat Singapore. It would be a lot moredifficult to kill me at one of the busiestports in the world, wouldn’t it?

I continued to clutch my bag andtucked my hands under my arms, hoping toseek some warmth there. I didn’t want tothink of Charlie, but I kept picturing hiskaleidoscope eyes, wondering what colorthey might be projecting just then. While itprobably would have been significantly

easier if he wasn’t so close by, the idea ofknowing he was near made it that muchworse. My memories were still so fresh,the pain of the lies he told me raw andfestering, without anything to distract me.If I was at home I would just go to thelibrary and straight to the referencesection. I would probably stay until thelibrarians politely kicked me out. I haddone something similar in those first daysafter Mom died. But now I had nowhere toescape and I hated him for that.

Instead, I tried to escape the coldthrough ceaseless memories, livingthrough them one by one as if they had justoccurred. I remembered the first time I

drank coffee and all the annoyingconsequences for Mom. I thought ofRobbie showing Dad Angry Birds on thephone and his subsequent addictionthereafter. But as much as I hated it, Ithought mostly of Charlie and every one ofhis endearing traits, the smell of his skinafter he had just lit a cigarette, the randomfacts he would share, how his accentthickened when he was angry.

Charlie. Fewer than twelve hours agohe had kissed me and held me like therewas nothing else in the world. I sliddeeper into the metal floor of the hold andbegan to sob. Something fragile andbeautiful inside me began to wilt away,

the cold taking over a willing body.When my eyes began burning and

blurring over to the point that I could nolonger see my own self-pity, I shut themwith the hope of taking a brief rest. Ifnothing else, sleeping would kill time andget me out of my head for a little while. Iheard the rain continuing to beat on theoutside of the ship and it had almostbecome soothing. I had even begun tocount the number of pitter patters from oneto one hundred before starting over again.When the dark closed in, I was actuallysomewhat comfortable on the metal floor;it brought back memories of broken bunkbeds at summer camp and camping with

Robbie and his friends.I tried to focus on stuff like that while

I drifted off. I thought of a few summersago when Dad passed out after treetrimming in the hammock, and Robbie andI painted his toe nails. The time whenRobbie jumped from the trampoline tryingto dive into a snow pile (Mom hadpractically lived in the E.R. that day). Ilaughed to myself and wrapped my armsaround my body, trying to keep thememories as close as I possibly could.

As I slept, I dreamt of strange andominous things. On top of everything else,I’ve never really had dreams before andwhen I did dream, I usually forgot them by

the time I finished my breakfast or brushedmy teeth; strange now in the last few daysthat I would have more than one dreamthat I could actually remember. It wasn’tjust the imagery that shook me, it was afeeling. They became etched in my head, apermanent part of me.

The dream gave me venom-producingsnakes slithering their way up walls,trying to get to an unknown destination.How I knew they were poisonous but notwhere they were going is beyond me.Instinctually, I just knew they weredangerous, deadly. There were dozens ofthem, all sorts of different colors andsizes, though equally terrifying with their

proportions. I couldn’t see myself, but Iknew I was nearby enough to be in someserious danger. With the loud hissingcoming closer and a hundred tongues andattached fangs approaching, I wanted tocall out, to scream for someone, foranyone—for Charlie. And yet I couldn’t. Ihad no voice, no lungs, and no mouth. Iwatched them gain momentum as theyincreased their speed up the wall.

When I opened my eyes, my face waswet from fresh tears and my legs shookfrom the intensity of the dream, so muchthat it took me several minutes to stand upstraight again. I tried to remember the lasttime I had even had a nightmare, but I

couldn’t. Nightmares were for children, orpeople who ate too much junk food beforebed.

It was just a dream, I told myself.Just a dream.

I don’t know when I stopped actinglike an idiot and calmed down. When Ifinally gave in to the claustrophobia andthe cold, I couldn’t do anything more thanlie back down and shiver into myself.

I was too busy waiting for death.I was curled against the web of the

hold, alone and quaking as the windcontinued to ransack its exterior walls,sending in the occasional splash of rain toprovoke me. I tried to go back to those

places of memory that made me so happybefore: Mom and Dad trying to ride atandem bike, attempting to help Robbiepick out a Christmas gift for some girl heliked. And even though I didn’t want to,though I tried to avoid it, I also thought ofCharlie. I tried to push him out of myhead. I didn’t want my final thoughts to beof him; he didn’t deserve them. Buteventually, I gave in and recalled everyword, every smell, and every sound thatwas ever him. As the night gave way, sodid my mind…

What a funny sort of way to die, Ithought.

I

Chapter 13

pulled away from the arms at first. Theywere so unusually warm I was sure theymust have belonged to the Devil himself.So I had died and gone to Diyu. I wasburning, burning. I was going to be

punished for not accomplishing any of mygoals, for leaving everyone behind. Icalled out, though the words didn’t come.Please don’t hurt me! I’m sorry. I’msorry. I’m sorry.

But that didn’t sound right at all. Iwas, in actuality, cold.

So very, very, cold.I wanted to tell my body to do

something other than shake. Maybe Ishould have been moving, screaming, oreven fighting. Yet all my body could dowas settle back into the Devil’s arms. Itwas bizarre how perfectly I seemed to fitthere and how easily I gave in to the soundof the drums that demons played just for

me. As much as I wanted to, in the end Icould do nothing else.

Something familiar and desperatecalled out my name. Its voice waspleading aggressively, begging forsomething I couldn’t understand. Itreminded me of being choked to death andI wanted to laugh—had I met the Devilthen, too?

“Addie? Addie!”Warmth touched my face. I pulled

away.“Hey, Addie?” That was my name. Of

course the Devil would know my name.That would make sense. I tried to think itthrough, but the drums were pounding in

my head, making my ears ache miserably.I wanted it to stop more than I coulddescribe. And the Devil was babblingincoherently, making things that muchworse. All of his words wereincomprehensible, clouded by a fog ofpain and cold. What did the Devil have tobe so miserable about? All at once, I hadto know. Though he continued to say myname through sobs and what I thoughtmight be profanities, it made my heart hurtto think he could suffer so much on myaccount. Perhaps if I did his bidding,though, he wouldn’t be so disheartened.

But when I tried to open my eyes theywere fastened shut. Maybe it was a trick?

At the very least, the drums werebeginning to fade a bit and my head didn’tache so much. I could hear other voicesnow, and the Devil was angry with them.I’m not certain why, but I heard himyelling, bellowing like the great monsterevery legend depicted him to be. I hopednot to make him angry.

I tried to open my eyes again. Thistime I focused on the shadows that lay justbeyond my eyelids. There was somethingstrangely comforting about them. Andwhile my surroundings felt familiarenough, I couldn’t give them definition.When my eyes finally did open, everythingwas blurred by my swollen lids. I could

see the outline of shapes and figuresclearly enough, but I could hardly see anydetail. The only thing I could really retainas the images became clearer was the sideof the Devil and serpent gainingmomentum.

“Ch-Charlie?” He turned so quickly atthe sound of my voice I wondered if theserpent had been there at all.

“Addie.” He sighed my name asthough it brought some great relief.

The shapes of the other peoplevanished through the door. It was only as Isquinted that I recognized them as Yuriand Reid.

So I wasn’t dead? Or were we all in

hell?I was very cold. Only corpses could

be this cold. I reached for something thatwas wrapped around me, but Charlie gotto it before I did and tucked it in moreclosely around my neck. I still heard thedrums, though they were skimming out intothe distance, fading out in the darkness ofbad dreams.

“Are you all right?” His hand held outa glass of water, except I flinched at thesudden movement. The hurt in his facewas evident.

In an attempt to regain my self-pride, Itried to sit up. I was in Charlie’s cabinagain. The mattress had been put back in

its frame and the crate was in its originalcorner. But before I could do much moreof anything else, Charlie had me by theshoulders and gently pushed me back onthe bed. As his touch registered,everything he last said to me rushed in asan extraordinary combination of memoryand heartache.

“Don’t overdo it, Vicious.”Everything about him was clenched now:his stare on me, his voice, every muscle.

I quickly shoved him from me andretreated as far away on the other side ofthe bed as I could possibly get. With myback against the wall, I huddled with myknees against my chest and pulled the

blanket up to my neck. It was the onlyprotection I had, and I was miserablyaware of how pathetic it all was.

“Get away from me.” The words feltlike lather in my mouth but they wereeffective enough because he stood up fromthe floor and moved across the room to beas far from me as he could be. I must havedisgusted him with my attempted escape. Ifigured it was the reason he wouldn’t lookat me now, why he stared passionately atthe floor.

I hated myself intensely. Not only hadmy plan failed miserably, but I had alsoearned Charlie’s hatred in the process. Iturned my head away and dug my nail into

my palm to keep myself from crying. Itwould have been so much better if he hadjust let Wallace kill me when he had thechance. How much longer would it havetaken to freeze to death? Though now Icould feel my fingers, my toes were juststarting to thaw. I tried to assess thedanger of my situation. If I didn’t have anyfood to fuel my muscles, didn’t consumeany water and just let myself fall asleep, itmight have only taken a day.

“You gotta tell me what happened.”Charlie had interrupted my self-

loathing. Only then did I look up to realizehe had been watching me all along. Hisface had again become ravaged by anger.

The darkness that held him wasn’tshowing any restraint and Charlie wasready to do damage. Whether it was uponme or not wasn’t going to matter. I figuredI had already inadvertently tried freezingto death. Maybe being killed by someone Iloved was the better way to go after all.At least he would be the last thing I sawbefore the Nothingness caved in.

I narrowed my eyes. I wanted to bevery clear about my newfound revulsionfor him. “What do you care?” Therewasn’t a chance I was going to give himor anyone else the satisfaction of knowingthe idiocy of my plan or how I hadpathetically failed.

His brow furrowed, but he remainedsilent, only kicking some imaginary dust atthe end of his boot.

“You should have just left me there,” Iwhispered. Maybe this response surprisedhim because his head jolted up and thestare in his eyes changed yet again. Ididn’t know whether or not I should beafraid. Unfortunately, as usual when I waswith Charlie, my mouth did the thinkingfor me.

“You’re just going to kill me anyway.So what was the point in delaying theinevitable? If you changed your mindabout the whole ransom thing—”

His fist slammed down on the plastic

crate with such force that its lid flewopen. I trembled and tried to pull myselfaway from the display—closed my eyeseven, but Charlie wouldn’t let me escape.

“Addie, I’m sorry.” He came over andknelt beside the bed. His voice crackedwith every word. “Addie?” He paused,then tried again. “Addie?”

I couldn’t look at him. I wouldn’t.“Everything got so messed up,

Addie.” He sniffled and buried his faceinto the mattress.

“When Yuri told me what was goin’on, I freaked out. I said all that stuff, but itwasn’t true, Addie. I swear to God—”

No. No, I would not look at him.

“I heard you crying in here and it wastearin’ my guts out, but everybody said Idid the right thing. Then when the stormstarted, I had to go to the steering hold.But when I got back, the place was allmessed up and you were gone. We didn’tthink there was no way he could get downhere. I thought you’d be okay in here. Ithought you’d be safe.”

He struggled to continue andinstinctively I wanted to reach out and pullhim closer. He seemed to be hurting somuch and if I could do anything toalleviate that pain, I wanted to do it, but Iknew it was a ruse. I brushed away a tearand cradled my knees to my body. I hated

him for making me feel this way.“I had everybody looking for you

everywhere all night long.” All night?What time was it now?

“We searched everywhere, Addie,every crew cabin, the lifeboats, the engineroom. It was only ‘round dawn that Reidwas saying you went overboard.”

I scoffed. Into the ocean? Now whyhadn’t I thought of that?

Then again maybe it was a good thingI hadn’t. If I had, I might have seriouslyconsidered it for a moment. Or, like anidiot, I might have attempted to take alifeboat out by myself. Of course what Ihad done wasn’t a genius move, either.

But I had given in to my panic and let ittake over my rationale. I closed my eyesand tried to will the humiliation away.

I gave in and turned my head around tosee Charlie seething. It killed me to seehis hands ripping at his hair angrily,nearly taking it by the root.

I didn’t think when I reached my handout to stop him. “No, Charlie.”

He looked up, stopped instantly.“You promised.” It was a weak

argument, but it was the only thing I had towork with.

His smile was almost enough to breakme. I knew I shouldn’t have looked at him,his eyes were weary and sunken. It wasn’t

difficult to believe he hadn’t slept. Everycolor that normally shone in his eyes wasdulled by sadness and a gloss of tears thatwouldn’t spill. He hadn’t shaved yet andhis body seemed fatigued and obstructedby frustration.

He let me pull his hand away, but Icould see instantly that he’d alreadycaused some serious injuries. His pinkyand ring fingers of his left hand wereswollen, and the knuckles were bruisedseverely enough that I flinched at the sight.

“God, Charlie, what did you do toyourself?”

He seemed confused, but thenfollowed my gaze to his hand. “I-I got

angry.”The image of the punched-in wall in

Hold 6 came to my mind.I put his hand down as gingerly as I

could to wipe away my tears. Charlie sawthem and nearly became hysterical withregret.

“I’m sorry, Addie. I’m sorry! I’msorry! Please don’t cry! I’m gonna findhim and I’ll make him regret any second ofhis life he spent hurting you. I’ll make itup to you, okay? I promise I’ll make itright.”

I tried to find the words, tried to findthe feeling. Yet everything was mush inmy brain. I reached for the glass of water

and chugged it in a single gulp.“Charlie,” I pleaded. “You have to

slow down. Don’t pull a Polo on me.”He looked up and smiled. It was

without question the greatest thing I hadever seen.

I ran my hand through his hair andwiped at my own tears. After a moment Istarted again. “I-I’m not really sure whatyou’re talking about, Charlie.”

He frowned again. I could sense hewas worried for my mental well-being.“Wallace.”

I pulled away, coiled myself into theblankets and made myself as small as Icould. I hadn’t thought about him since

Charlie all but promised he wasn’t on theship. What was it he was saying to menow?

Charlie saw my fear and reacted.“You gotta tell me what happened,” herepeated. His face went stoic again, hisvoice all stone.

“No.”“Addie—”“No.” My voice was stronger now,

more resolute. “You have to tell me whathappened. Are you saying that-that personis here? What? How?” The room began toclose in on me and the air becamenonexistent.

He stared at me with a new sort of

confusion and concern mixed together. Icould see by the way his brow furrowedthat something deep was disturbing him,though I wasn’t entirely sure what.

“Yuri heard through some old friendsthat Wallace was sneaking around thedock when we left port in New York. Hecalled Yuri ‘bout it cause it seemedstrange.”

“What seemed strange?”“Wallace was rummaging through the

shipping containers. When he—when you—” He swallowed hard and hung hishead. I took his face in my hands to makehim look at me.

“Ben told him he wouldn’t be working

with us again, but he also said he wouldn’tbe getting paid, neither. Ben and Wallaceain’t never liked each other. Actually,nobody ever liked Wallace, but Wallacesaid he’d be getting his fair share whetherwe wanted him to or not.”

“What, so he might be on this ship?”“What do you mean might?” The

abrupt rising of Charlie’s voice startledme. I felt him slip from my hands as hisbody slumped to the floor. “How else didyou get yourself in that hold?”

“I—I was trying to bide my time,” Iconfessed.

“You went in there by yourself?” Hesounded shocked by the mere suggestion.

I nodded.“Nobody made you?”I shook my head. “I was trying to stay

a step ahead. It’s stupid, I know, but itwas the only advantage I had—”

“You were hiding?”I nodded.“From me.”Charlie looked at me then. His lip

wavered and his eyes were damp withnew tears.

“I could never—”“I know.”“I couldn’t ever—”“I know.”“No, you don’t.” He pulled himself

up, sighing, and sat on the bed. I let him,trying to deny how good it felt to have himthat much closer to me. “When the stormstarted dying down, I came back up here.”He stifled a laugh. “I didn’t care what theguys said, I was gonna beg you to forgiveme, ask you to come away with me whenwe made port.”

My emotions were going to betray me.I could feel them begin to give way, and itwas all I could do not to throw myself intohis arms and just make him hold me for therest of my life.

“But when I got here the place was amess, more than usual, anyways.” Heproduced one of his Charlie grins for me. I

swear that he must have known it wouldundo me. “My books were all ripped up,the computer broke. I ain’t real sure whathe was looking for.”

“He was here?” My heart stoppedaltogether. “He ruined your sketches?”

Charlie seethed. “I don’t care ‘boutthat, Addie. Damn pillow case gotstabbed, and the lamp looked like Polodid something to it! I thought for sure youwere a goner, too.”

I looked over Charlie’s shoulder.Large pieces of paint and plaster weremissing from the wall where it had beensmooth and flat. I could see the smallestshards of glass and plastic that someone

had missed during the clean-up. I guessedit was from the laptop, though it couldhave been from the light bulb of the lamp.In the lamp’s place was a work light witha high fluorescent bulb. I was grateful itwas shining away from me, as my eyesstill stung from my pity party.

“I still don’t understand,” I confessed.While I was grateful Charlie was safe,and that I had miraculously missedWallace’s visit, my main priority was thethrobbing ache in my chest. Why wouldCharlie pretend to care about me when itwas so much easier to break me?

“If you didn’t mean any of thosethings, then why did you say them?” I

shifted uncomfortably in the cocoon.Maybe this was something I didn’t want tohear. I knew I had to, though; this wouldkeep me from being stupid in the future.

“Everybody knows who you arenow,” he explained. “Even when you gohome, you ain’t gonna be safe from peoplelike Wallace. Our competitors are goingto wanna know as much ‘bout us as thecops are. I figured if you hated me, thenmaybe you would just tell everybodywhatever they wanted to know and they’dleave you alone. Hell, have a pressconference.”

His eyes grew a little darker as hegripped the bed sheets. He seemed to be

somewhere else in that moment, a place Icouldn’t touch even if I wanted to.

“What are you saying? Are therepeople out there who are going to hurtme?” It had never even occurred to mebefore that my safety would still be injeopardy when I got home.

“Not if I can help it.” His eyesnarrowed as he stared at a point on thewall. I reached out and laid my handagainst the crook of his elbow. His fleshwas rosy warmth compared to my iciclefingers, and I had the strongest urge to coilmy entire body around his, to smother outthe fire that burned him inside.

With Charlie’s temper enflamed, I

knew he could cause considerable pain tohimself and others. And while I wasn’tgoing to be an advocate for a person whohad tried to kill me, someone who wouldhurt Charlie if given the opportunity, Ididn’t want Charlie to reveal himselfeither. If he gave in to that darkest piece ofhim and let his anger take over, he mightmake a move that would result in hisundoing. The idea was like a fuzzy kind ofterror, itching at my insides and willingme to tear it apart. I didn’t want toimagine what sort of trouble Charlie couldget into if his rage had a mission, a target.

“Charlie, please—”The sound of my voice seemed to

bring him back to me. He turned andsmiled sadly. It wasn’t a Charlie smile,but it would have to do.

“You have to keep your promise,” Iwhispered. “No matter what happens, youcan’t let yourself get hurt, especially onmy account.”

In the swiftest of motions, he scoopedme in his arms and enclosed me there; thesame strength that once held me captivewas now keeping me safe.

“Listen, I don’t want to be withoutyou.” He whispered the words in my ear,a secret just for us. “As long as I got abreath in me, I ain’t ever gonna letanybody hurt you.”

I laughed into his shoulder. “That’svery sweet, Charlie, but not verypractical.”

He started untangling the ends of myhair. “Not everything in life is sensible.‘Sides, ain’t nothing practical ‘bout beingalive if you ain’t alive, too.”

“Please don’t say things like that.” Ipressed my face into his chest. I didn’twant to see his expression while he saidthat. I was too afraid he could mean it.

A knock at the door interrupted. Icould feel Charlie tense against me, hisbody rising to shield mine. A part of mewanted to smile at the gesture, while theremaining part of me worried at his

natural response.“What are we up to in here, kids?”Ben Walden stood in the doorway of

the cabin and cleaned his glasses with theend of shirt. It was the first time I had everseen him dressed down. And although hestill wore a collared shirt, I couldn’t helpbut notice it was slightly wrinkled anduntucked.

Charlie only pulled away from meenough to consider Ben in the door. Ishielded myself from his intentionalaffection though, and huddled myself backin the blankets.

“Anything?” Charlie asked him.Ben placed his glasses back on. Every

movement was slow, strategic even. “Thecaptain has been gracious enough to lendus some stewards who are re-searchingthe cabins, the bow, and stern storage, butthere hasn’t been anything so far, I’mafraid.”

Charlie swore under his breath andtried to clench his broken fist. He wincedat the pain and I reached for him. I cradledthe broken hand in mine and looked itover.

“You need to ice this.” From thecorner of my eye, I thought I saw BenWalden smiling.

Charlie brushed a piece of hair backfrom my eye. Though I adored his touch, I

also felt self-conscious as Ben observed.“You do know what this probably

means?”“Yeah.” Charlie never took his gaze

from mine. “Yeah, I know.”I pulled away, then, and looked

directly at Ben Walden. There was stillsomething that hadn’t been shared withme, a piece of the puzzle that I hadn’t beenprivy to. “Um, what does this mean?”

Ben smiled at me with a certain sortof sadness and certainty in his expression.I felt a twinge of fear. What was it that Ididn’t know?

“If our dear friend stowed away on acontainer and we can’t find him onboard,

and if he is in fact onboard, which islooking more and more likely, then he’sprobably biding his time.”

“I’m gonna find him.” Charlie finallylooked at Ben as he acknowledged thesolution out loud. There was once againsomething unspoken between them, and Idoubted it was anything good.

“He got that VFC between shifts?”Charlie asked.

Ben nodded grimly. “Presumably, atsome point yesterday evening with all ofthe confusion. I imagine it’s why he usedAddie as a distraction.” Briefly his gazeflickered on me, but I turned away,desperate to take the focus off me. I was

far too embarrassed to admit the truth ofmy own self-inflicted near deathexperience just yet.

“What is a VFC?”“A marine kind of transmitter,”

Charlie said.As I looked back and forth between

the two men, I had some difficultyunderstanding the problem. I could barelystand being cooped up in the cabin for afew hours at a time. If they weresuggesting that Wallace was in apotentially smaller space, and had beenfor nearly a week now, then he surely musthave been going mad.

I began biting the side of my nail.

Perhaps that was part of the problem.Instead of cooling off, Wallace hadnothing but time to sit and stew over themoney he had lost, focus on the blows heand Charlie had exchanged, and the loss offuture income. Just like I had meditated onfavored memories while I froze in Hold 6,Wallace had probably been revvinghimself up, thinking of every insult or foulplay he imagined the gang had ever givenhim.

“Has he been there, in the container,this entire week?” I asked.

“Likely. Given that we can’t find thatdamned radio anywhere, and with today’sdestruction, I do suspect that day was his

first emergence from the hold.”“But how could he stand it?”Ben smiled again. This time it was a

genuine smile, light around the edges. “Itonly takes a few rudimentary needs and agreat deal of motivation for a man tosubject himself to difficult conditions.”

As I looked at Charlie, I was worriedagain. The subtle sound of his teethgnashing together was simmering in theroom, and though I held his hand in mine,he still remained tense.

“Okay.” I nodded. “If he’s in one ofthose things, then—” I couldn’t believewhat I was about to say. And though I didfeel some shame at saying it, it was also

the first idea that had come to mind. “Whydon’t you just leave him there? Now thatyou know he’s there, what damage couldhe do?”

Ben sighed. “Unfortunately, it isn’tthat simple. Now that our soon-to-bedeparted has a VFC, it will only be amatter of time before he can get a signal.With that, he’ll be able to contact anyoneon the mainland, including the authorities,who would probably be quite delighted todeliver a missing girl to the embassy andextradite wanted felons.”

Charlie experienced my horror as Iclutched his arm. I felt his muscles strainthere, but he offered me no comfort and

continued to stare ahead.“Why would he do that? They’d

extradite him, too. Wouldn’t they?”“Well, he might not do that. Even if he

did, however, Wallace doesn’t have acriminal record in the United States. Hisoffenses are elsewhere. I very much doubtthe Singaporean government would botherwith him. Wallace is probably aware ofthat as well.”

Ben sighed again. He seemed verytired suddenly, very old. “A better casescenario is that he doesn’t use the radio atall and just intends to keep us here,offsetting any profits for us for a time.We’ll lose our drivers, the ship will be

confiscated by the authorities, but if wemanage to stay out of Changi, then we’llbe stuck here for some time, I’m afraid.”

“That’s what he was looking for,wasn’t it?” Charlie’s smile was wicked inthat moment. It made me shiver.

“Looking for what?” I sounded shrill,and while I hadn’t intended to, my voicehad come out almost as a scream. Myfrustration had merged with my ever-growing concern for Charlie, and my heartand head couldn’t take much more. “Whatare we talking about when you say ‘keepus here’? ‘Out of Changi’? And what inthe hell was he looking for?”

The room went silent. Ben Walden

looked slightly taken aback, but still noless dignified, while Charlie looked up atme with his small Charlie smile.

“Relax, Vicious.” He took a momentto cup my cheek in his broken hand. I sawa visible flinch of pain there as heunclenched the knuckles. He looked at Benand smiled. “And she says I got a temper.”

Ben Walden rolled his eyes. “After hecouldn’t find them in here, Wallace foundall of our artificial documents in my cabin.Even when we do make port, it will take aconsiderable amount of time to returnhome without those documents. Of coursethat’s a better case scenario. ChangiPrison is obviously not one of the best.”

We heard the sound of cackling andvoices down the hall. Charlie rose tostand by my side, but after glancing downthe corridor, Ben motioned for him to sitback down.

As Charlie and I looked at each other,Ben ducked his head back in the room andsmiled. “It seems Polo is having troubletrying to convince our stewards to complywith the search. Why don’t you go helpmotivate?”

“Nobody follows captain’s orders?”Ben laughed. “It seems not when

they’re ambiguous and repetitive. We’resending them on a search and they have noidea what they’re looking for.”

“I ain’t leavin’.” Abruptly, his eyeswere on me then, no longer askingpermission. Telling me he would stayforever if he had to.

“I’m certain it will only take amoment.”

“No.”“Go on. I promise I won’t go

anywhere.” I smiled as best I could, but Ihad the feeling he could see through it.

“See, there you are!”I gazed back at Charlie while Ben

Walden pretended to check his watch. It’sokay, I mouthed.

Charlie blinked rapidly and rose, hisglare now focused on Ben. “You stay here

with her.” He pointed his finger at eachparty as if to make the command moreclear. Ben nodded firmly, but then turnedback to me and winked.

As Charlie’s footsteps echoed awayfrom me, I felt cold reality seep in.Wallace was deadset on causing seriousdamage, not only to Charlie, but to Benand the rest of the guys as well. He hadsubjected himself to living in a shippingcontainer just to exact revenge. I fearedwhatever he had in mind was going to bemomentously worse than just leaving themdeserted in Singapore and causing theircriminal enterprise to take a dive.

“Don’t worry about him.” As Ben

Walden walked into the cabin his facerelaxed somewhat, but his postureremained rigid. For a moment I wonderedif we were playing cards again. He lookedat the abused crate with its open handlesbefore dragging it over to the side of thebed, then using it as a chair.

“Once he settles down, he’ll startthinking properly. Hopefully at that point,we can figure out what to do.” Heremoved his glasses again and rubbed thespace between his eyes.

“Why is he doing this?” I stared downat my hands in dismay.

My question clearly intrigued BenWalden. He looked at me and leaned

against the wall, his hands folded over hisknee.

“Because he adores you.”My head shot up. Simultaneously my

heart forgot to beat. “That, um—I meant—” I swallowed hard, though my mouthfelt dry. I wanted more water, but I wasmuch too shy to ask. “Why does Wallacehate you enough to do this?”

“I’m afraid this entire trip has been anongoing disaster.” He sighed. “I don’tknow if Charlie Boy made you aware ofthis or not, but we weren’t even supposedto take that final truck. It was a last minutedecision perpetrated by Wallace.”

I dug at the imaginary dirt under my

nails. How could I forget that firstdemonstration of Charlie’s temper? It wasalmost a happy memory, knowing how itwould lead to the others. But what alsoamazed me was the coincidence. Charliehad never meant to be at that rest stop. Imarveled at the sheer idea of it. Whatwere the odds that he should have beenthere? What were the odds that I shouldhave been there? In a way it was comical;without Wallace insisting on that finalstop, I may never have known Charlie atall.

“This is my fault.” The words were sosoft I hardly even heard myself say them.“If I had just minded my own business that

night…” I tried to laugh. “Charlie shouldhave just let him kill me.”

“You can’t say that.” Ben Waldenleaned forward and rested his elbows onhis knees. He stared me down now, onlythis time he wasn’t playing. “I mean it,young lady. Or if you do, don’t ever letCharlie Boy hear it. He’ll tear the limbsfrom anyone he thinks put the idea in yourhead.”

This was the Ben Walden thatreflected the thieving and smuggling ringCharlie was a part of. His eyes wereviolent in the same way I knew Charlie’sfists could be. I wondered what that mindof his was truly capable of.

“You have to understand, for as longas I’ve known Charlie, he hasn’t everexpressed a want for anything. That seemsto have changed with you.”

I made myself look at him. I wasshivering again and wished Charlie werethere to hug the cold from me. “I hadhoped your spell over him woulddissipate, or at least waver when we gotto port. But when Charlie couldn’t findyou…” Ben Walden rolled his eyes againand crossed one leg over the other. Witheach of his movements, I could see theweariness. Had he been part of my searchparty, too? “And Reid opened up that bigmouth and started with the mermaid

jokes.”I looked away, ashamed. I

remembered what Charlie had said aboutmy going overboard during the storm.Could I really have caused so muchtrouble?

“I’ve never seen him like that before.”Ben Walden’s voice changed. He wasquiet now, more contemplative. “When hegets upset, things tend to happen, peopleget hurt or objects get broken.” Benrubbed the end of his chin. I wished hewould stop talking, I didn’t want to hearwhat he was about to say. The syllableswould form sentences I didn’t want totouch, reveal truths I didn’t want to

acknowledge.“This was entirely different, though.

The four of us had to hold him back fromthrowing himself in the ocean after you.”

“Stop.” I couldn’t take it anymore.The idea that my stupidity had nearlymade Charlie kill himself made mequeasy. I saw dark spots in front of myeyes when my mind envisioned the scene.I grabbed onto my stomach. Though it wasempty, I thought I might be sick.

Ben Walden sighed. “I’d like to blameyou, though it wouldn’t be very factual.”He laughed and stretched his legs out infront of him. He began talking again,though I couldn’t hear him. I ignored him

completely, fearful that he mightcontribute more to the all-too-clearpicture I had of Charlie’s end in my mind.

“Wallace stole from me once before.Of course I couldn’t prove it.” Ben’svoice came in and out, static with the fuzzin my brain. “Which is partly why Iinformed him he wouldn’t be paid thistime. Frankly, however, his lack ofobedience in regard to what we weregoing to do with you was just the excuse Ineeded to terminate his employment.”

He laughed then, a low, bitter sound.“After Charlie defended you, I shouldhave just paid Wallace. I certainlyunderestimated how badly things could get

out of control here. A kidnapping!” Hesmacked himself in the forehead.

I tried to smile. “No one can predictthe future.”

“I never considered that Charlie mightwant you, nor that you would live.” Hislaugh increased, grew heartier, livelier.“That’s right. But we can try. Myprediction is that if Wallace doesn’t killme, he’ll most certainly kill Charlie Boy!”

I didn’t know what to say. How couldBen Walden be so casual about someonehe considered a friend? All I knew wasthat, no matter what happened, Charlie hadto be okay. In the end, Charlie had to beokay.

“I-I don’t want anything bad to happento him. I don’t care about how you guysmake your living or how you have tojustify yourselves.” I rubbed both sides ofmy temple to ward off the impendingheadache. “I just care about him.”

Ben Walden leaned forward again andsmiled. This time it was a Ben Waldensmile. He reached out and patted the endof my blanketed foot. It was strange towitness him trying to be a source ofcomfort. “If I didn’t already know that,dear, do you think you would still bealive?”

I nodded through the shiver. Asterrifying as it was, I did, in fact, know

that. An idea occurred to me then, analmost insane notion, though as it turned inthe wheels, it was not quite out of therealm of possibility.

“That’s how it was supposed to be,though, wasn’t it?”

Ben Walden wasn’t stupid. Even Yurihad said that I was evidence in their longseries of crimes, something left behind inan otherwise carefully organized plan. Iconsidered the abandoned house and howeasily Ben Walden agreed to let me gofree. If what he said now was true, thenthe organization of his plan had alreadybeen destroyed by Wallace’s greed. Idoubted he would have ever taken the risk

of leaving me alive, regardless of anypromise I may have made.

“Pardon me?”“You never intended to let me leave

that house.”He smirked. “Think about it, though.”

His laugh was almost indecisive. “If youhad been here when Wallace rummagedthrough the place, you’d surely be dead bynow. Sort of funny, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” I grimaced. “Hilarious.”“You really are too smart for your

own good, young lady.”The words hung in the air like

something heavy. I didn’t know what elseto say. How could I respond to something

like that? Perhaps Ben wouldn’t hurt meor order anyone else to do so for the sakeof Charlie. But that very well could be theonly reason for his mercy.

I went slack at the sound of Charlie’sfootsteps. I knew they were his just fromthe swiftness of the steps alone, and I wasmonumentally grateful that he was comingback to me.

Charlie’s eyes darted from me to Benbefore settling on Ben. “What did youdo?”

I felt myself light up, ready to diveinto him if he would let me.

Ben looked me over and returned hisglance to Charlie. “Oh nothing. We were

just discussing things.”“Outta here,” he instructed. “Now.”Ben smiled at me and took his leave.

While I was glad for his honesty, I waseven happier to see him go. There wasonly so much honesty I could handle in asingle sitting.

After a moment of shushed whispersand more profanity, Charlie returned. Iwas practically bouncing on the bed,overjoyed to have him to myself.

“Are you okay?” He smiled as he satnext to me.

“Right as rain.” I looked toward thesky.

His smile grew wider. “What did I

tell you ‘bout lying?”I nuzzled myself against his arm and

felt the muscle go slack there. “What did Itell you about getting angry all of thetime?”

He tensed again, but pushed himselfcloser to me. “Everybody ‘round heretalks too much. I walk in here and youlook like you’re ‘bout to keel over.” Hepulled my face away from his, squaringmy chin between his hands so I wasforced to look him in the eye. “Ben tellingyou things he shouldn’t have?”

I shrugged, tried to seem indifferent.“Only true things.”

He growled low in his chest and

pulled me back to him. “I oughta startwelding lips shut.”

“It’s okay. They were things I neededto hear.”

We were silent for a few moments andI enjoyed the feeling of his heartbeataligned with my own. I listened andwaited, only after several momentsrealizing that I hadn’t been counting them.

“You sure you’re okay?”I laughed again and nodded into his

shirt. I could smell the fresh scent of soapand cigarettes. I squeezed him tighter.

“Yes.” I quivered as I felt his lips onmy forehead. “You know, if thecircumstances were different, you

wouldn’t have to be so protective of me.”He laughed. “That ain’t hard to

imagine. You got more than enough in thatpretty little head of yours to take care ofyourself.”

I pulled away and sat up. It felt goodto stretch the muscles that had gottencramped. “What were you and Ben talkingabout just now?”

Charlie’s eyes followed myexpression. “There’s some food missingfrom the pantry, kind of stuff nobodywould think to look for.”

I froze. So Wallace definitely washere. There was no denying the dangerCharlie was in now.

I wrapped my arms around myself forwarmth. “I see.”

He stood up then, wrapping his armsaround me when he saw me shiver. “It’sstill okay, right?”

I nodded and leaned into him. “I’msorry, Addie. I won’t let you be afraid ofme again.”

I

Chapter 14

sat back on the bed, bundled up in one ofCharlie’s sweatshirts. I zipped it all theway to my chin and pulled the hood overmy head, basking in the Charlie smell. Itwas helpful, as my clothes were still

soaking wet. I also sipped from time totime at the water Charlie brought for me,trying not to chug it all and hear theswooshing in my empty stomach.

“I’m sorry your sketchbooks gottrashed.” Every few minutes I would plowmy brush through my hair, desperatelytrying to detangle the mess. Charliewatched me as I paced the room. I saw hiseyes lull as he sat on the bed, hesitating toreopen after blinking.

“I don’t care ‘bout that,” he repeated.He smiled at me lazily. He was losing hisfight against sleep.

I sat next to him and wrapped my armsaround his waist. “Well, I do. In fact, I

care so much, I actually—”The sketchbook! The only thing I

thought I would have left of Charlie. Hadit been lost in my stupidity?

“My bag, where is it?” I tried to divefrom the bed but Charlie caught me beforeI could secure a landing. Concerned, heplopped me back on the bed and stood up,but he never took his eyes from mine. Iheld out my hands like an expectant childwhile he handed me the soaking bundle. Iclapped my hands excitedly. Although thecover was wet, and the edges of the firstfew pages were damp, the sketchesthemselves were still intact.

“What—?”

“I wanted to take something of yourswith me,” I admitted sheepishly. Though Iwas embarrassed, it was minimalcompared to the amount of relief I felt atknowing I hadn’t destroyed the lastsketches Charlie had on board.

Charlie looked down at the floor. Heseemed sad again, although I didn’tunderstand why. I half expected laughterand pointing, but sadness seemed like thelast response.

“This is my favorite…”I was more confused than ever until he

flipped open the back cover of thesketchbook and handed it back to me. Iwas taken aback by the first drawing with

its abnormal shading and underlinedattention to the figure at the center of thepage. Charlie had drawn me, sitting on thebed almost as I was now, in perfect detail.The page before it was similar, like adistant black and white photograph. I wasstaring off the deck into the sea. When hadhe done these? In other instances I wassleeping on my side or untangling a knotfrom my hair, but they were all me. All ofthem were me in various moments we’dbeen together over the last few days.

“Those first sketches you drew of me,when you first brought me here?”

He nodded, but looked down at hiswork. “Yeah, I think I ’ready knew then

that I loved you.”He smiled and pulled the sleeve of the

sweatshirt away from my face. “I knowwhen you leave here, I ain’t ever gonnasee you again. You’ll be in the papers andTV and stuff, but that ain’t the same.” Helaughed and sat back down on the bedbeside me. “So it’s funny. I guess I wantedto take something of yours with me, too.”

The blush took over before the wordseven came out. “You kind of had thatopportunity last night.”

“I ain’t gonna ruin you.”The remainder of my will was gone. I

threw myself into his arms, leaving therest of the blankets behind. The sudden

rush of air that hit me made me start toshiver again, but he hugged me tighter,holding me about as close as someone canhold another human being. I seized theback of his neck and held on for dear life.I never wanted him to let me go.

“You should have just told me whatwas going on, with Wallace being hereand everything,” I whispered.

He squeezed me tighter. “Nah, itsbetter if you hate me.”

I laughed, kissed his tattoo. “I triedand couldn’t, you fool. I couldn’t hate anyof you.”

“Not even Reid?” He pulled away tolook me in the eyes.

I laughed again, all at once feelingecstatic and overwhelmed at Charlie’sproclamation.

“Listen, though.” He tried to getserious again. “We’ll make port in a fewhours, and if we don’t find Wallace bythen, we could be in for some trouble.”

“Only a few hours?” Though I wasashamed to admit it, I didn’t know whichprospect seemed bleaker: the idea ofgoing home without Charlie, or the idea ofCharlie being in danger.

He nodded grimly. “You were goneall night. I never thought to look in thathold again after I left there, and all theother ones were searched.” His face

became dark again. His glance lost mine.“Truth be told, I only started rummaging‘round there when I heard your teethchatterin’.” He took my mouth andinspected it like a dentist. “Other than that,Addie, you were so still and cold. Yourlips were blue. I thought maybe you leftfor good.” He shook his head as if unableto complete the thought.

I pushed my forehead up against his.“Hey, Charlie?”

“Yeah?”“I’m really glad you found me.”“Addie, you maybe—” He smiled,

kissed me on the nape of my neck. “I’mreal glad you found me.”

I couldn’t help but giggle. Charlielaughed in my ear. “I love when you dothat.”

“Stop trying to change the subject.What were you going to say?”

He laughed even louder and threw hishead back. It was good to see him happy.It made me warm on the inside.

“You ain’t gonna let me get away withthat, are you?”

“Nope.”“I was saying that I wanted you to call

your family. It can only be for a fewseconds, but you need to do it. They’veloved you your whole life and you’vebeen gone for days. I’ve just loved you for

the better part of a week and losing youjust ‘bout drove me crazy. It ain’t nowonder why your old man is making sucha fuss—”

My mouth silenced his by plummetingthe two together, an act that he acceptedand actively participated in. I could tastethe fresh flavor of clove, tobacco, andmint while I eagerly took his lips as myown. He latched onto me, desperate andgrateful to touch, to please. Any remainderof a chill that lingered in my bodyimmediately fled as my muscles seemed tomelt in his hands. But once again I cursedmy functional lungs when they begged forbreath and pulled away when they pleaded

for release.“What,” he gasped, “was that for?”I smiled at the shadow of his rapidly

growing beard. “Just to make sure youunderstand how you inspire me.”

He sighed and shuddered all at once.“You got no idea what that means to me.”

For a while we just held each other inthe blankets and shredded quilts thatconsumed most of the bed. With hisfingers, he attempted to untangle the messof my hair while I forced him to elevatehis damaged hand and keep it unmoving.

“Doesn’t this hurt?”“I’m used to it.” I remembered the

cigarette burn and frowned. I didn’t like

the sound of that at all.“Charlie, why does it have to be that

we can’t see each other after all this?”I felt him tense up instantly. “Addie, I

don’t expect you—”Again, I put my finger to his lips to

silence him. “Just hear me out, okay?” Hewas still clenched, bracing himself.“Things will probably be crazy forawhile. I’m not naïve enough to not knowthat. But after some time when things cooloff, we could meet somewhere.”

He opened his mouth to speak again,but I wouldn’t let him. “There are collegesand universities all over the world,Charlie. I can find one and be anywhere

you are.”“It ain’t that simple, Addie. I’m a

thief. That’s who I am, that’s what I’llalways be. I don’t know how to do nothin’else.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”“You shouldn’t be stupid for me.”“Just listen! I’m not asking you to do

anything else, Charlie. I don’t like howyou make your money, but all you have todo is be you and I’m going to be around.Have you ever heard any of those storiesabout crazy, stalker people?” I pointed tomyself dramatically. “Well, I, sir, intendto be one of them.”

I pulled him close while he smiled.

“I’m going to have you whether you like itor not.”

His eyebrow shot up. “You’d chaseme?”

I attempted my best imitation of anangry Charlie. “It wouldn’t be an option.”

We kissed once more, our laughterblending in together like so many shadesof blue and green.

We compromised about calling Dad,deciding that calling Robbie’s cell phonewould be less dangerous for everyoneinvolved, as the odds were it would goright to voicemail and there wouldn’t be atrace on it. Even if there was, keeping the

phone call less than fifteen secondswouldn’t be enough to secure our location,while at least telling Dad and Robbie Iwas alive. After that, Charlie would throwthe cell phone into the ocean and wewould be in Singapore within a few hours.

I tried to straighten myself up as best Icould. My ankle still throbbed a little, butthe swelling was down significantly fromthe night before, so I knew it was only asprain.

Charlie lounged on the bed, his handsclasped behind his head, watching methoughtfully. “Do you want me to carryyou?”

I smiled wistfully. “I’m okay.”

“What if I wanted to carry you?” Hereached his long arm behind my knees andpulled me over to him until I fell over hisshoulder.

I heard myself laughing. “No way.”Though I tried my best, I only

managed to hobble out to the stairwellabout halfway before Charlie’s armstangled around me and lifted me off thefloor.

“Oh, come on!”“I ain’t waiting ‘round forever.”“That’s ridiculous.” I feigned

annoyance and crossed my arms over mychest. But neither one of us could pretend Ididn’t enjoy being in Charlie’s arms. “I

wasn’t going that slowly.”I felt the morning sun on my face and

flinched at the brightness, though I wasglad to see the sun had finally gottenthrough. “You’re right.” He grinned.“’Sides, I would wait forever.”

He took my hand and led me to thesame edge of Deck A, where he had firstheld me in his arms and I had been sograteful for the touch. He dug into hispockets and presented me with a smallflip phone that was almost false-lookingfrom its thin plastic veneer.

“Remember—” He hesitated inhanding it to me. “Fifteen seconds.”

“Okay, okay.” I was bouncing on my

toes. “I don’t need a lecture.”Charlie was reluctant in handing me

the phone. I could sense something wasamiss when the flesh of his fingerstouched mine, though what it was exactlyhad not become quite clear to me just then.I suspected a great deal of his stress hadto deal with his tiredness.

“When I’m done with this, you shouldgo take a nap.”

“No.” His voice was firm.I smiled. He sounded like a stubborn

child. “Why not?”He shrugged. “I only get so much time

with you. I don’t want to spend itsleepin’.”

I was overwhelmed with Charlie’sopen fondness for me. It caused a feelingof warmth in me. While I had always beena member of a loving family, it had neverexactly been an expressive one, and nowsomeone who I cared for immenselybrought no hesitation to the table to showthose same emotions toward me. It wasmore than a little intimidating.

Without the proper words to expressmyself, I brushed the stubble back onCharlie’s chin, kissing the peak of hisbottom lip.

Robbie picked up on the first ring.This alone put me off because I knew theydidn’t allow him to have phones at the

base. I figured Dad might pick up, but if Igot lucky enough, I would get voice mail.

“Hello?”“Robbie?”“Addie! Addie, where are you? Are

you okay?” Although he was shouting, Istruggled to hear him over the shuffling ofsomething in the background. The sound ofan object crashing reached my ears and Iheard Dad’s voice.

“Robbie, I’m okay. Tell Dad I’m okaybefore he hurts himself.” It sounded sogood to hear their voices again, I felt myinnards ache to be home.

“Addie, just tell us where you are andDad and I will come and get you.” Dad

and Robbie were trying to shout into thephone, asking questions and saying myname. I smiled, I could easily picture themfighting over the receiver.

“I can’t do that, Robbie.”They both went silent.“Why, Addie? Are you hurt? Just—”“I’m okay, Dad. I’m completely unhurt

and I’ll be home soon. You have to takemy word on this one.”

“Addie, please, just tell us where youare.”

“I promise everything is okay. I loveyou guys, please don’t worry.”

Then I hung up before they could sayanything else.

I handed the phone to Charlie,unaware my hand was shaking from theshort interaction. Maybe what set me offthe most was knowing how far away I wasfrom it all, how much had changed in sucha short amount of time.

Charlie threw the phone into the darkwaves, though it was easily lost by therays of the sun and I never saw where itlanded.

I nodded and smiled stiffly. I couldfeel the sun and salt in my skin andsuddenly I felt gross and repugnant, dirtyand unclean. The need to refresh myselfwas almost unbearable.

“I think I need to get cleaned up.”

Charlie only nodded and we walkedacross the deck hand in hand, this beingmy only comfort as I thought of myworrisome dad and brother who wereprobably more worried than ever. I onlyhoped my calm demeanor hadn’t worriedthem further.

After I used the restroom, I washedmy face and hands, then brushed my teeth,using my finger and some toothpaste. Itwas far from ideal, but I did feel better. Ithen pulled my hair up, even taking thetime to use the bobby pin in my pocketbefore looking at myself in the mirror. Thebruises around my neck were all but gone—faded yellow markings, that bordered

on healed.As per our routine, Charlie was

standing outside the door, yet he stared atthe floor—a third cigarette in his mouthwhen there were two smoked to the buttalready on the floor.

“The second you step off this ship,you’re gonna come to your senses.” Hesmiled at the floor, the weight of theepiphany too much to keep his head up.

“I’m real grateful, don’t get mewrong.” He laughed then, a sprainedsound that choked on itself. I flinched athis sadness and pulled the sweatshirtcloser around my neck; he wasn’t evenbeing sarcastic.

“But the second you realize how crazythis is, you’ll get your head back. It’salready started, hasn’t it? Pretty soon, I’lljust be a bad memory. You’re gonna livethe rest of your life not even rememberingyou were the greatest thing that everhappened to me.”

“No, Charlie, no.” I took the cigarettefrom him and stomped it out with my shoe,though truthfully it was somewhatpointless, considering it was all but goneanyway. “I’m not leaving you behind.”

I closed my arms around his waist astightly as I could and stretched until Icould feel my wrists touching on the otherside. I wanted to squeeze all the doubt

from him, comfort him as much as hewould let me.

“I plan on loving you until the day Idie.” I felt him flinch at the mention ofpotential death, so I retreated. “So there!”I stuck my tongue out at him, and made thestrangest facial expression I couldmanage. I was grateful that he smiled alittle for me, though I had to admit, itwasn’t much.

“Will you stay with me for a while?”he asked. His voice seemed so small then,nearly inaudible.

I smiled against him. “You know Iwill.”

Once inside, I made him take his boots

off and lie down. His eyes fluttered shutwithin a matter of seconds. Despite myefforts, I too, felt the heaviness of sleepdrift against my eyelids. Outside the cabin,I could hear men walking around, chattingin different languages while whistles wentoff, signaling who only knew what.

In his sleep, Charlie pulled me closer,possessive even in this state. I listened tothe rhythmic heartbeat in his chest,thinking I would only let him sleep for alittle while so he wouldn’t be angry, butenough for him to actually rest.

I was having a flashback.Wallace. The fear. My impending end.

Dying.I was dreaming again, right? This was

just a nightmare, another awful, terribleexpression of my overworkedimagination?

I shouted out, though it was cut shortas he hit me in the face. When the paincame, it was harsh, forcing my visionupside down as my head lulled to the side.

“Shut up!”A sharp pain reached me again at my

scalp. I could smell the stench of bodyodor, grease, and fuel. It was everywhereas he yanked me by my hair, dragging meacross the room and out the door.

I tried kicking my way out, feeling one

of my sandals slip off as I did so.Charlie’s cabin edged farther away as Iwas pulled down the hall. I screamed outagain while trying to scratch at the handthat held me.

His spare hand hit me again.I could taste blood, though where

exactly it came from I wasn’t sure. I heardwhimpering, and felt instant shame when Irealized the sound was coming from me. Iwas so pathetic, unfocused, and unsure. Ireopened my eyes and tried to makemyself aware. Even my worst daydreamshad never felt this real. Why wasn’tCharlie waking me up? It could have beenlike my favorite of Poe’s poems, A Dream

within a Dream, without the romance.I retraced the dream in my head. It

hadn’t been a long one, and it was simpleenough. The sound of the storm returninghad awoken me from my sleep, and Isquirmed my way from Charlie’sembrace, thinking I could get some waterand be back before I had to wake him. Butthen something, someone large andterrible, grabbed my arms.

I was pulled into a familiar entrywaywith container holds.

“You shut the hell up!”Once inside Hold 6, Wallace pulled

me up only to shove me back down to thefloor. I picked myself up, still tripping

over my bare feet and sprained ankle.Wallace pushed me back down andlaughed. As I landed, the air was knockedfrom me. I was sure my lungs werebroken, deflated balloons that could neverinflate again. I was confident I was goingto die from that single act alone. I felt thetears on my face; the salt they producedstung something on my mouth.

“Can’t believe this crap!” Hedelivered a kick to my side. “‘Cause ofyou I’m out of a job. And if Walden thinkshe isn’t going to pay me for this gig, he’sgot another thing coming.”

“Stop, please!”He laughed and pulled me by the hair

once more across the maze of containersand past the first deck of webs. He wasyelling about something, calling me namesthat were lost in the wind and the sound ofthe blood rushing to my ears. I shut myeyes and turned off my head. I tried toscream again, yet the sound didn’t come. Ienvisioned Charlie, but his image wasfuzzy against the pounding of my skull.The most ominous feeling of dread fellover me that no one would be coming tosave me.

No one was coming to rescue me thistime.

“I was just going to snap this prettylittle neck. But given the way that hillbilly

looks at you, I’m going to make sure tofinish you off nice and slow.” His laughrang in my ears, echoing against the metalcontainers. I looked away from him then,his face an easel of bruises and scabs thatCharlie had painted. “The best part,” heranted on, “is that I’m going to make himwatch. Too bad Walden’s old lady andkid aren’t here.”

I fell from his hand and heard thejingling of chains as they fell fromsomewhere close by. I tried to screamagain, but he grabbed me by the shouldersand shoved me inside the confessional. Iscreamed until my throat felt like roaringacid, then tried to shout it out, the tears

getting stuck in my throat. Yet for all myefforts, the sounds caused no effects.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to go get yourboyfriend right now.” The sour of hisbreath came to me. And just then it waseasy to imagine him in the dark, justwaiting and planning for the perfect timeto strike. “By the time I’m done with you,you’ll wish I had done you in right the firsttime. No way I’m getting shoved out‘cause of some stupid little bitch!”

No, no, no, no. Whether I called outloud or whether the words remained in myhead is unclear. Ironically, the mosthelpful element was the dark, whichprevented me from seeing any blood or

other stains of body fluid which I knewhad to be caked on those surfaces. Instead,my head was stuck on more current events,like my worrisome Dad and thatwonderfully handsome jerk above, who Iprayed would be okay.

I could deal with dying. I had figuredthat was going to happen before my timewith Charlie was through, but despiteeverything, I couldn’t stand the idea of himbeing hurt. I knew now what was worse; Icould live a life without Charlie. If I wenthome and couldn’t find him later, I couldat least envision him happy somewhere inthe world. But if he was dead, then therewould be nothing left to wish for, no hope.

Standing up, I tried leveraging myselfagainst the door. There wasn’t enoughlight in the booth to see anything butshadows, and even through the heavyfaucet of tears, I could smell the rust of therainwater. Still, I tried not to think ofCharlie. Keeping my focus allowed menot to panic. I could feel how tender myface was without having to look at it—theswelling of my lip with my bleeding gum.

The wind continued to throw itselfagainst the sides of the container’s walls.The confessional began to creak as aparticularly harsh gust of wind camethrough the bellows of the hold’s ceiling. Iglanced up just as the invisible enemy

rocked the entire booth on its back.Immediately I tried to kneel forward. Thepain on my ankle was severe—I hadforgotten myself and put all of my weightthere.

No, no, no. I pushed and pushed somemore, but the hatch from the outsiderefused me completely. Rain poured infrom the intricate patterns on the door.And though I leaned on my toes in anattempt to see the door handle and whatmight be preventing it from opening, therain and the dark blocked any potentialvision.

Horror gripped me. What was I goingto do now? How was I supposed to get out

of here? Any chance for survival was nilif I waited around until someone let meout. I braced myself and leaned on mygood ankle, ramming all of myself into thedoor with my shoulder. I called out withthe pain. Worse yet, the door hadn’t evenmoved. On the opposite side, I wanted totry the other door, but it was against thesteel panels of the floor and refused tomove. I found myself having somedifficulty breathing. Where had all of theair gone?

Like a wild woman, I began beatingmy fists on the door. I think I wasscreaming, too, because later my throathurt, but I don’t remember for certain.

Even if someone had been around, I doubtthey would have heard me over the rainand the wind. Every so often, thunder andlightning crackled in the sky. I had beenburied alive and the weather wasdrowning me out. But I had to get outbefore Wallace came back. I would belucky if I had four or five minutes.

Something tore my hands, and myankle throbbed, but I continued to hit andthrow myself at the door. My feet kickedat the floor of the confessional, hurtingboth my damaged and undamaged ankle.Still, nothing gave way.

I felt the time pass as the sun wasmaking its meager attempt to break through

the sky. And while I probably should havefelt relieved, I couldn’t help but wonderwhy I was still alive. Did torturing me nolonger appeal to Wallace? Or hadsomething else occurred? What ifsomething had happened to the ship duringthe storm? What if Charlie was hurt?

I pulled my hands out of the sweatshirtpockets, rubbing them together. Overall,neither of these methods was veryeffective, as I could now see the shadyunderline of purple at the end of myfingertips. Everything about me was numbexcept the possibility that Charlie couldbe in trouble.

In the midst of it all, I saw a

kaleidoscope in varieties of blue andgreen, midnight green to be exact. If therewas even the slightest chance that Charlieneeded me or my help, then I was going tobe there.

Now that there was a little lightavailable to me, I strained my eyes andpried my hand through the carved patternsof the confessional door. Even with myslim hands, I could only manage to reachthrough with my thumb and first twofingers. The fit was tight but I tried not tofocus on that and concentrate instead onthe cold metal lock.

The rain made my fingertips slip, andthe cold made me think at first that the

lock itself may have been a block of ice,keeping me inside. But as I arched myback forward and used my weak torso forfurther leverage to see lower, I could seeit was a padlock.

My mind raced while I rememberedwhat Charlie had said about tumbler locksbeing the most common kind of locks.Though the odds were unlikely, I thoughtmaybe I could pick it without a wrench, orwithout seeing the keyhole properly. I washalf-tempted to start crying again, knowinghow unlikely I was of success. Still, inspite of the hopelessness, my inneroverachiever wouldn’t be satisfied until Igave the task everything.

I took the bobby pin from my hair andheld it between my thumb and forefinger.If there ever was a time to concentrate,now was the time. Although the worst ofthe storm was over, the rain continued onthrough the slants of sunlight. I silentlycursed the rain for blocking the warmth,for making my teeth chatter. But at thesame time, I counted the hollow sound ofthe pitter-patter as it echoed through thehold. I counted backward from onehundred and began again.

As my thumb and ring finger escapedfrom the confessional, I continued tocount, but I also tried to channel Charlie.Although his large hands would never be

able to conquer this, I could imagine himthinking up something clever. A verysmall piece of me hoped he would beproud of me when I escaped.

If I ever did.I found the bottom of the lock where

the keyhole was. This was the easy part.My hand wouldn’t stretch any farther. Asob escaped me with the frustration, but Ipushed my hand forward, watching myknuckle claw its way to the outside,leaving fragments of flesh as a sacrifice tothe ancient wood.

I bit down on my tongue to keep fromcrying out. I didn’t know why Wallacehadn’t come for me yet, but for all I knew

he was right around the corner and all heneeded was a reminder that I was in here.

So I kept my mouth shut and ignoredthe pain, clenching my fist to try and shakethe pain loose once my hand was safetyfree. I sighed. Now if I could only get therest of my body out of there.

I held the bobby pin in my free handand arched my back once again to help geta better look at what I was doing. Withinmoments, however, my torso and back hurtconsiderably and the pain caused my freehand to shake. I swore at my lack of sit-ups and lay back down. I counted backdown from one hundred.

What if Charlie was dead? What if the

others had decided it would be funny to letme rot in here? How long would it takeme to starve to death?

What if? What if? What if?I tried again, this time propping

myself up on my elbows and trying to restsome of my weight on my good ankle. Asthe bobby pin entered the keyhole, I heardan audible crack and I gasped, thinking Ihad broken it. I remained completely stillfor twenty-seven pitter-pattering dropsbefore I braced myself and began movingthe end.

With a sigh, the last of the pins cameundone. I wasn’t even sure I had done ituntil I heard something like a click ring

out against the wind. I pulled back thehairpin and reeled in my hand as well,wincing but otherwise ignoring the pain.Excitement doesn’t even quite begin todescribe how I felt as I worked my wayout of there. Even though my ankle stungwith fresh pain, I kicked the door withboth feet. I kicked with the sameviciousness one might use to hit a piñata,laughing and no longer caring if anyonecould hear me or not. I felt dominant,victorious.

I pushed with both arms, though theyfelt like weak string, and my legs, putty.After endless moments, I managed tocreate enough space between the open

door and the chains that held it shut tomaneuver myself out. I arched andwiggled forward, my clothes and bareflesh sticking to the wood and velvettapestry beneath me. I shuddered. It reallycould have been a coffin.

Once outside of the confessional, Icollapsed to my knees. My legs felt soreand stiff from lying flat for so long, but thepain was not unwelcome. I reached for myface and felt the wet there. I was cryingand hadn’t realized it.

Pulling the hair back from my face andneck, I craned my neck to the sky and triedto stretch that out as well. It seemed therain had stopped and only leftover water

dripped from the containers above.Clouds moved freely in the sky, tufts ofwhite hovering around the blue and gray.

I put my hand to my chest and countedthe beats. How was I so fortunate toescape death multiple times in a singleweek?

I pushed myself up with my hand,instantly regretting the act. Though it wasstill hard to see, I could make out the cutsI had given myself. Ironically, the damageI had done to myself seemed to be theworst of it. My head ached considerably,though it could have been from hunger inaddition to being hit. And my ankle stillached.

I stood up and tried to walk. Dizzinessovercame me immediately and my bodythreatened to black out. I took another stepand felt the grinding pain in my ankle slipup my leg. I clenched my empty stomach. Ihadn’t frozen, so didn’t need thawing out,but I could feel how weak my body hadbecome.

I reached out for something to holdonto, my fingers tingling when I tried towrap them around a pillar in the hold.They felt slightly more comfortable asthey gripped the pillar, though my shakingfailed to stop. I tried to count the pitter-patter of leftover rain off the webbing,though it didn’t help in the slightest.

Now I was free, but where wasCharlie?

A stampede of noise answered myquestion. I heard my name being calledfrom outside the hold, and bellowedlaughter. I hated to hear Charlie sodistressed, and at the same time, I was sograteful to know he was still alive andcapable of speaking.

I dropped to the floor, not caring that Iwas soaking, and crawled beyond thepillar and past a segment of containers thatwas only stacked a few yards high. I feltwater slow me down, stretching the cottonof the sweatshirt. The fear that Wallace oreven Charlie might have seen me as they

barged in was overwhelming.“Addie!”The clanking of metal accompanied

the laughter. Charlie called out for meagain and again. I bit my tongue to fight myown tears. I could taste the blood from myassault on my swollen lip.

“Relax, loverboy, she isn’t far!”I peered around the corner, carefully

insuring the hood of the sweatshirt waswell secured over my head and face.Although I exposed one of my eyes, I sawWallace pointing in the direction of theconfessional, muttering something intoCharlie’s ear. The worst of it was theknife pressed at his back; I could see it

glimmering in the light that struggled to getthrough. “Bastard! I’ll kill you!”

I knew calling out would give meaway. And then what? Wallace might putme back in the confessional and that wasif I was lucky. I had to stall. If I kept quiet,I could sneak out and get help. Where inthe hell was Ben Walden or those brutesYuri and Reid when a girl needed them?

He called out for me again. I closedmy eyes and felt the tears slip. I tried notto focus on the sadness I heard there, buthe sounded so completely shattered that Icouldn’t stop it from breaking my heart.

“Damn!” Something metal slammedagain. “I was hoping to drag that out.” He

laughed some more. “Must have hit herharder than I thought.”

A growl emerged from the depths ofCharlie, though I knew he wasn’t Charlieanymore. He had become that darknessinside of himself. He was letting the beasttake over now, not caring about himself orthe consequences of his actions.

With my peripheral vision, I saw theclashing of limbs and a torso against ametal side, but I lunged myself frombehind the container and began runningdown the gangway. If either of themnoticed me, they didn’t acknowledge it.Again, I was completely grateful for myability to be invisible. Or maybe they did

see me and I was too consumed withgetting help for Charlie to realize it. Iknew I could only be helpful to him thisway. I didn’t feel the skin on my footsplitting open against the metal planks orthe wind ripping against my face. Iignored the cramp in my side when itbegan and tried to pretend like the worldwasn’t moving agonizingly slow until I gotto the door of the hold.

I clamped onto each end of the largespinning wheel door and tried to budge it.The only thing that resulted was a groanthat erupted from the lips of the door andmy own divine swearing.

Behind me something struck. I could

hear it echo as it landed on the metalfloor; the sound of a body wasunmistakable. I could see Charlie againstthe floor. He seemed quick to move, buthis body only dodged more blows.Wallace had been slowed by his owninjuries, and my eyes searched for somekind of hope. I didn’t have to look far,finding it within shielded glass; I releasedthe fire extinguisher from its cage with myelbow. It was only after the adrenalinewore off that I would feel the pain there,but the extra clothing prevented any skinfrom breaking.

With whatever I had, I swung atWallace’s knees. Having his back to me,

he never saw me coming, never evenexpected me to be anywhere near him. Soalthough I may not have bruised him asmuch as inconvenienced him, it wasenough for him to turn his attentions awayfrom Charlie.

During their brief argument, my lovehad done something horrendous to the sideof this man’s face, as the muscle tissueand bone no longer fit into place, butrather slid off at the end of his left eyesocket and draped down to his lip. Igasped when I saw it, felt my fingers growweak with the weight of the fireextinguisher and it fell from my hands.

As it landed and echoed, Charlie

pulled himself from the floor and chargedat the small glint of light in Wallace’shand. Logic told me to try and hit himagain, but both bodies were scrambling ontop of each other at such rapid speed, Iknew I could never be fast enough totarget just one.

Failing anything else, I ran back to thedoor and tried it again. This time Iscreamed, putting all of my weight into itas I pulled.

Mid-scream I fell to the floor.The door was opened from the outside

and I had less than three seconds to covermy head before Reid and Polo practicallystepped on top of me.

Frankly, though, they could havestepped on me and I still would have beencompletely ecstatic to see them.

Polo managed to brush by me with hisPolo laugh, noticing somehow in the chaosthat I was there. “Hey! Hey! Sorry,Addie!”

More limbs and fists entered thetumbleweed of violence and I had to lookaway. As I did, Yuri ran past me, noddingin my direction. Ben Walden came throughthe doorway behind him, as placid asever. “Are you all right, dear?”

I nodded frantically, to which hepatted me on the shoulder and walked intothe chaos. For a brief moment, he turned

back to me. “You should probably waitoutside.”

I hardly needed to be told twice andstumbled my way out the door on shakylegs.

Waiting.

E

Chapter 15

xactly whatever Yuri and Polo did withWallace, I never asked about, and no oneever volunteered the information. As thenoise settled and only the pitter-patter of agentle rain took its place, I knew the

danger was over.I slumped against the wall and pulled

my knees against my chest to rest. Mymind echoed in and out to the sound ofboots stomping and Polo laughing, but Iblocked it out as best I could. I wanted tocount, but I didn’t know how. I wanted togo home, but I didn’t know the way.

“Hey.” Charlie’s hand was warmagainst my cheek. I could feel myselfrelax. “Let me take you home.”

Considering the company I waskeeping, I guess I shouldn’t have expectedanything less than the personal luxuryplane that had been commandeered for our

travel. Despite my lack of knowledge, Ihad to figure this was a leading-edgeaircraft. Even judging from my briefglimpse at the engine span, I estimated thatit was probably worth more money than Ihad ever seen. I reminded myself to askquestions later and keep my mouth shut fornow, a trait that other people seemed toacquire when Ben or Charlie werearound. I struggled to keep my legs steadyas I soldiered up steps to the plane’sentrance, my ankle was still slightlyswollen and my knees as steady as Jell-O.

When I finally made it inside, Yuriwas shouting something in his nativelanguage and Reid was already in the

cockpit, trying to adjust a headset and anumber of switches and gauges thatseemed far too complicated to follow.

“Oh man, oh man, oh man!” Therewasn’t much of the narrow aisle left, butPolo still managed to pace diligently inthe small space between the cushy, whiteleather seats. I guessed the plane couldprobably fit ten people comfortably. Didthey own this?

“What happened back there?”“Later,” Charlie said. He eased

himself into one of the seats, his knucklesgrowing white as he clenched hisabdomen. It was only now that my reliefwas wearing off that I noticed how pale he

was, how slow and winded hismovements were, as they had been sincelimping from the hold.

“Charlie?”He smiled at me, but it was thin and

worn. He reached out for my hand and lethis fingers dance on my wrist. The fearbegan when I saw how much they shook.And now that it occurred to me why theywere all so eager to get back to the Statesand out of Singapore, the terror erupted inme as well.

“It’s just a scratch. Promise.”I sat next to him and began preparing

myself. “Leave lying for the liars.”His smile looked more like a grimace,

but I pulled the hand away as gingerly as Icould, careful not to aggravate the injuryfurther. It was startling how the bloodgushed freely without the barrier of hishand, and how it now began to seep intohis shirt at a horrific speed.

“What in the hell were you thinking?”I whispered.

He reached for a lock of my hair andsmiled. “I was thinking ‘bout you.”

I reached for his hand, but it wentlimp, the multicolor of lights in his eyesflushing shut when he closed them.

I became frantic. “Charlie? Charlie?”His lack of movement stopped my

breath, yet if he would just speak, or

move, even for a moment, then I knew thatI could breathe again.

Reid began cursing into the headsetand kicking the co-pilot chairs. I hardlyheard all of the noise over my own silentpanic. He would be okay, right? Thisbleeding would stop and he would wakeup and be fine? I took his wrist andclutched it to me desperately, brushing hisfingers against my cheek and keeping mythumb and forefinger against his pulse.

“You’re not allowed to die, CharlieHays. It’s simply not acceptable.” I bit mylip to keep my tears from spilling. “Whoelse is going to keep me out of trouble?”

Despite the orchestrated alarm, Ben

Walden was at ease. It was eerie the wayhe walked around the cabin with his shirtsleeve drenched in the blood of the man Iloved. Unlike Reid and Yuri, he wascompletely composed, almost indifferentto the possibility of his friend bleeding todeath. Somehow they had managed to hideCharlie’s wound from me during thebedlam of Singapore and grabbing thenearest taxi. The realization angered me. Ihad been so eager to get off the ship andback on land, or perhaps eager to ignorethe blood, assume it didn’t belong toanyone I cared about.

“Damn it!”“What is it, Reid?” Ben confirmed

Charlie’s pulse and sat in the seat adjacentto him. “Why haven’t we taken off yet?”

“I can’t get confirmation that we’reclear. Wallace was the only one whocould speak Mandarin. Most of the airtraffic controllers speak English, but Ican’t get a goddamn one to clear me.”

“Just go!” Yuri yelled“And crash into something else

coming in?”I hated it with every inch of me, but I

let go of Charlie as gently as I couldmanage. The idea of leaving him even justto walk a few yards ahead was puttingsplinters in my heart, but at the same time Ialso had the feeling we weren’t going any

place at this rate, which meant hewouldn’t get the medical care hedesperately needed.

So I whispered in his ear, “I’ll beright back, promise,” and made my way tothe cockpit, practically jumping overPolo.

“What do you have to say to them?” Isounded much braver than I felt.

Reid whirled around and glared at me;I had done nothing but cause him trouble.“Get the hell out of here.”

While it may have been late incoming, the adrenaline was coming downon me hard. I didn’t have time for Reidand his pettiness; Charlie was hurt and

needed help. If Reid was going to get inthe way of that, then I would figure out away to remove him from this currentequation.

I yanked the headset from him beforehe had time to respond. The onlyadvantage I genuinely had was hisunderestimation of me. Furiously, helunged for it, but was already buckled inhis seat, so I just took a step back,completely stoic and waiting.

I spoke the words into the smallmicrophone and wrote down a series ofnumbers on a pad of notebook paper. Awoman on the other end laughed at me, butspoke patiently enough that I sensed she

sympathized with me.“Thank you.” I spoke into the headset.

If nothing else, I knew my basics wellenough and there seemed to be plenty ofindividuals at air traffic who spokeMandarin and well as Chinese.

The other end beeped four times asshe had directed and I pulled it from myhead and pushed it back in Reid’s face.

“You’re good to go.” I was positivelyseething.

He gawked at me.Before we took off, I reclined Charlie

back in his seat to elevate him. From anoverhead deck, Ben pulled out a largetackle box and dropped it in the aisle.

He cleared his throat. “He’s hadworse.”

Nervously, Ben laughed and surveyedthe menagerie of supplies that lay in thebox. In actuality, it was a first aid kitstemmed together from what looked likeall kinds of sets and various householditems.

I undid my seatbelt and slid back intothe aisle. I could remember first aid andCPR training from summer camp. Theanatomy I had learned from textbooks Icould only hope would be useful to menow.

“It’s okay.” I tried to reassure both ofus.

Whatever fears I had looming in mymind disappeared with the effort of thetask in front of me. The scissors were easyto operate, and with them I removedCharlie’s shirt. If the situation weredifferent, I might have enjoyed that verymuch, but I couldn’t give myself the luxuryof thinking on those things now. Having anassignment gave me the ability to beunbiased and focused. I ran through thefirst aid safety checklist in my head andput on a pair of dusty latex gloves after Iscrubbed my hands with scorching hotwater in the restroom. It seemed like sucha stupid thing at this point, but it made mefeel sturdy and professional, so much

unlike myself that I was even borderlineconfident.

Small strips of loose fabric from his t-shirt had somehow managed to get caughtin the smallest fragment of the wound.With the most careful precision I thinkI’ve ever maintained, I removed thoseloose threads. Ben flicked on the singlepassenger light above us and sat backdown. With the newfound light, I couldsee his injury appeared to be fairlyorderly in terms of its shape. I didn’tknow much, but I did know that anythingjagged wouldn’t allow the wound to closeproperly.

Ben went back to talking with Yuri

and I went back to work. I cleaned thearea with a mild disinfectant, alsochecking the expiration date, and beingcareful not to aggravate the injury further.Every so often I would glance up atCharlie’s face. I didn’t want to think aboutwhy he was still unconscious and whyevery so often the core of the abrasionwould gush with fresh blood. I tapeddown sterile gauze pads with an equalamount of pressure on both sides to tryand keep the bleeding down. From there, Ienclosed the wound in a tight bandage. Itwasn’t great, but it would have to do fornow.

“Wherever we’re going does have a

doctor, right?” I said to no one inparticular.

Ben nodded seriously. “Everythingwill be taken care of.”

I stood up and wandered into theaisle. “Is there any water around here?”

Eager to be active, Polo unbuckledhimself and headed to the back of the jetwhere he made a ruckus of noise.

“Water? Water? Anybody water?” Hefrantically started tossing the bottles toeveryone. I was lucky enough to catch onejust before it landed on Charlie’s head.

Yuri caught one of the wild throws.“Polo, you’re the ugliest flight attendantI’ve ever seen.”

We all smiled, but it wasn’t veryheartfelt. Charlie was still unmoving, andas pale as anything I had ever seen.

I sat back down beside him andunclasped the water, forcing some into hismouth. Even though he coughedreflexively, it was good to hear some kindof response from him. Every few momentsI made him drink a little more.

I rested my hand against his chest andcontinued to periodically feed him water.His eyes were sunken in and dark againstthe white of his normally tan complexion.But that wasn’t what bothered me. Whattruly disturbed me was his lack ofresponse to my touch. I brushed my hand

against his cheek, his forehead, andsilently prayed for the flutter of an eyelashor the twitch of a lip. But the onlymovement came when I forced him todrink.

I began whispering in his ear. “Didyou know that tigers have striped skin, notjust striped fur? Did you know that theaverage person blinks about twenty-fivetimes per minute?” I brushed the hair fromthe side of his face and leaned against hisshoulder. “Did you know the human heartbeats 100,000 times a day?” I choked onmy own words. “You still have lots andlots to go today.”

“How long until we get there?” I

asked Ben.He looked to Reid for an answer.

“You’ll have to ask that one.”“We finally caught a break,” Reid

answered. “No reports of bad weather,going as fast as we can. Should be there inabout fourteen hours.”

Fourteen hours? And that was a shortamount of time? I tried not to seemdisappointed, but I couldn’t help it. Whoknew how Charlie’s condition could be bythen?

“It’s usually like eighteen hours,”Polo said. “It’s the worst. A couple ofhours less is a lot better, right, guys?”

Ben’s focus seemed to be on a point

on the floor. “Hmm? Oh sure, Polo.Absolutely.”

He stood up then and walked to theback of the cabin. When he returned, itwas with a small humidor. Yuri and Polodeclined the offer of a cigar, but Ben litone up almost immediately.

I checked Charlie’s pulse again. Itwas weak but steady. It was really hisshallow breath that began to concern me.

“Put that out, please?” I nodded to thecigar.

The glare he gave me was almostthreatening, daring me to ask again. Still,he produced a crystal ashtray from a sidecompartment and put out the butt without

complaint. As I watched his strangelygraceful movements, I realized the uniqueopportunity I had at that moment, as it wasvery possible Charlie would never allowme to know any more about his past than Icould read in a newspaper. But BenWalden had known him for years, andCharlie was hardly in any position toobject to a friendly interrogation.

“You and Charlie met in prison,right?”

Yuri craned his head from thewindow. At last the conversation seemedto interest him.

“That’s correct.” Ben seemedunsurprised by the question, almost as if

he expected it, even.I remembered what the articles had

said about their sentences and what theyhad done. I figured if Ben wasn’t going tovolunteer any information, then I wasgoing to have to choose my questionswisely enough to gain as much data aspossible.

“W-were you doing this kind of stuffbefore then?”

He smiled. “I was doing work alongthese lines, yes. But Charlie Boy was stilldoing that mettling child’s play.” Hewaved the phrase away as though itdisgusted him.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and

tried to prepare myself. “I take it youaren’t referring to hopscotch?”

“I like hopscotch!” Polo jumped upand started jumping from one foot to theother in the aisle.

“As a young man he acted as a bit of amotivator for some of the less refinedgroups of the south.” Ben scoffed at whatseemed to be a fond memory. “I could seethe potential here—” He kicked Charlie’sleg fondly. “So I took him under mywing.”

What was I supposed to say to this? Iknew Charlie was capable of hurtingpeople. I had seen and felt his angerinflicted on others. It was only too easy to

picture him as a brooding teenager,working as a leg-breaker (or whatever itwas) because he thought it was his place.And while I only had a vague idea aboutjail from Hollywood and the media, Iunderstood that gang life was something ofa necessity. Still, the idea of some twistedAryan ideals and Charlie looking towardthem made me sad.

Maybe he was young and stupid, I toldmyself.

I looked at him and smiled. Was thatwhat he had meant when he said Iwouldn’t love him after awhile?

“I’m going to prove you so wrong,” Iwhispered to him.

“You need to stop taking people underyour wing,” Yuri mocked. “You tookWallace under your wing, and ‘cause ofhim, we got two dead people, a kidnappedgirl, and Charlie got a hole in his gut.”

“True, true.” He weighed his handsout in mock balance. “However, we alsohave one less share to split, Charlie has agirl, and we have rid ourselves of atroublemaker.”

Yuri began counting off the items.“Life sentences for everybody, and allkinds of unnecessary heat.”

Ben groaned into his fist. “Hmm, well,we’ll take care of all of that when the timecomes.”

I didn’t know whether or not it wouldbe appropriate to apologize, but I had acompulsive desire to do so. I hated to bean inconvenience to people. Heck, I evenhated asking the librarian for help findingsomething at the reference desk. But on theother hand, I hadn’t asked to bekidnapped, either. And there wasn’t anychance I would apologize for the way Ifelt about Charlie.

Polo poured a handful of colorfulcandies in his mouth. “The police won’tbe a problem, will they?”

“No, Polo.” The words came out ofmy mouth before I could stop them “Notbecause of me, anyway.”

I pulled my knees to my chest andcreated a veil with my hair, though it wasimpossible not to see the glare Reid gaveme.

I looked Charlie over and reached forthe pulse at his neck. Though he was stillabnormally pale, his pulse seemedstronger. I counted the beats there andremembered to breathe. The serpentbounced beneath my finger: one, two,three, four…

“Does anyone have a phone I canborrow?”

Yuri eyed me suspiciously.“The internet.” I hoped my stare

would shatter him.

Ben rolled his eyes at us. “You kidsplay nice now.” He then tossed a sleek-looking device in my direction, naturally Idropped it. My blush increaseddramatically.

“Sorry,” I muttered.I squished up into a tiny version of

myself and concealed myself beside theshield of Charlie’s arm. He was feelingwarm but not abnormally so; I hoped afever wasn’t threatening to settle in.

It was peculiar to see myself rightaway when I tapped on the browser. Thehomepage was linked to a popular newssite and there I was on a string list with ahalf a dozen of the day’s headlines.

No New Leads on Missing Honors

StudentThe Federal Bureau of

Investigation is actively pursuing thepossible abduction of Adeline Battes,17, missing since last Tuesday aftershe was last seen speaking withconvicted felon Charles Hays, 29.Although no ransom demands havebeen made, Battes’ destroyed cellularphone was found several yards withina crime scene involving the death oftruck driver Spenser Hanson, 46, andthe theft of an unidentified number ofcomputer staging equipment.

I clicked out and searched for a new

link. I already knew most of thatinformation. What I wanted to know, whatI needed to know, had to be around heresomewhere.

Suspect in Kidnapping now on 10 Most

Wanted ListWanted in connection with the

recent alleged kidnapping of AdelineBattes and murder of Spenser Hansonin Syracuse, New York, Charles Hayshas been added to the Federal Bureauof Investigation’s Ten Most WantedList. While the search for Adeline

Battes continues, investigators havefew indications as to the teenager’swhereabouts and consider her to be inextreme danger.

The FBI is offering a reward upto $100,000 for information that leadsto the arrest and capture of CharlesHays, who has now been chargedwith felony theft, gross paroleviolation, and assault.

“We believe Hays could beanywhere in the United States and weare concerned for anyone who comesinto contact with him or hisassociates,” said Junior Deputy AgentAdam Harpsten.

Hays was last seen on August 13just before the disappearance ofAdeline Battes. He has brown hair,green eyes and is 5’ 11’’. He weighsbetween 170 and 200lbs, and may beidentified by a unique series oftattoos as pictured below. Hays mayalso have connections in Tennessee,Alabama, Texas and Georgia. He isconsidered armed and dangerous.

I almost wanted to laugh; that

description didn’t even come close todoing him justice. But now he was one ofthe most wanted people in the country.There were probably professionals out

there looking for him just for the rewardalone. But I wished I knew more aboutcriminology so I could have a better ideaabout how they were investigating. I toldmyself that if and when everything did sortitself out, I would have to look into takingsome sort of criminal justice class as anelective, maybe buy some outdated lawbooks.

Most of the articles were repetitive innature, relaying the same information indifferent formats. Others wereembarrassingly exaggerated, featuringbloated or outdated pictures of me frommy childhood. Those articles were humaninterest in nature, not relaying any real

information, just going on about what atragedy it was.

From there they just continued to getmore ridiculous. There were some articlesthat suggested Charlie Hays was part of apolitical conspiracy, concocted radiocommentary from activists who thought Iwas being used for secret medicalresearch because of my IQ test scores, aninterview with a psychic who said I wasalready in the underworld.

“Wow, really?”“I like the ones that say you were

abducted by aliens,” said the voice in myear.

My heart ricocheted in my chest.

“Charlie!”I threw my arms around him to

embrace him, but he flinched instantly.“Oh, sorry! Sorry!”To my amazement, he laughed, or at

least tried to. It was clear even thatmovement caused him considerable pain.

“If it were anybody else…” Hisbroken hand reached out for me.

I finished the sentence for him. “Youwouldn’t have so many problems.”

He smiled my favorite Charlie smile.“Just think ‘bout how boring life wouldbe.”

“I don’t see your life being anythingclose to ordinary.”

An empty water bottle flew in ourdirection and landed on my head. Withinmoments, a barrage of candy wrappersand water bottles were soaring in the airlike an army of flaming arrows.

Charlie gauged the attack and brokeout laughing. “Hi, guys.”

“Jackass,” Yuri mumbled.“Hey, Charlie! That was a crazy mess

back there, man! There was like blood allover the place and everybody was yellingat everybody. If you were awake it wouldhave been even louder, man! Hey, youwant some candy? I found some candy—”

“How are you feeling?” Beninterrupted.

He leaned his head back, “Like I’vebeen shanked.”

Ben smiled. “Makes me feel youngagain.”

Charlie tried to laugh but winced inpain. I immediately flicked him in the armwith my fingers.

“It’s not funny, Charlie. I didn’t think—I mean, with all of the blood andeverything.” I couldn’t finish my sentence.Just remembering the small pond ofcrimson that had collected in the seataround him, the life that sustained him justdraining, like it meant nothing, made mewant to die on the inside. I had wanted tobecome some sort of statue or robot that

never felt anything ever again.He reached for me, pulling me close. I

didn’t object. Instead, I nuzzled myselfagainst his arm and breathed in the scentof him, wishing we were alone so that Icould hold him closer.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I ain’tused to having somebody care ‘bout whathappens to me.”

I kissed him quickly in the crook ofhis elbow so no one could see.

“He told me you were in there and Ikept seeing all the stuff that ever happenedin there. I didn’t think—”

“Goddamn right you didn’t think!”Reid called from ahead. “Could have

gotten us all sent to Changi. I’m not goingto a Singapore prison for your sorry ass—”

“Easy, kids.”Charlie ignored them both, sliding

down enough so that he could speakdirectly into my ear. “In the dark, Addie, Iheard your voice. I think you’re ‘bout theonly thing that kept me from going straightto Diyu, the real one.”

I clutched at him. “My stupidityalmost got you killed, Charlie.”

He tensed in my hands. “No. Thatgreedy, yellow-bellied, piece of crapWallace is what almost got you killed—”

“Not me, Charlie! You!”

“Let us not get ahead of ourselves,”Ben said. “I don’t know about any of you,but until I get home, I will hardly becapable of very much brainstorming.”

Home? Is that where we were going?What exactly was home to someone likeBen Walden? A hundred different ideascame to my mind. Now that I knewCharlie was all right, I was beginning toconcern myself with the logistics of thejourney in front of us. We couldn’t havebeen flying for more than an hour or two,so that had to have put us behind half aday.

“Where are we going, anyway?” Iasked Charlie.

He smiled at me. “They didn’t tellyou?” He grinned at them.

“Do I look like ‘information’?” Yuricrossed his arms over his chest and wentback to staring out the window.

Charlie ignored them and turned hisattention back to me. “In the wine country,there’s a little town that makes everybodyfall in love with it.” His voice was awhisper in my ear again. I shivered andclutched at him.

“Oh, really?”He nodded briskly. “Yup.

Everybody’s got their own place nearby,but we usually just bother Ben at hishouse.”

I was skeptical. “Where exactly is thisplace, anyway?”

“Northern California. You know a lotof other ‘wine countries’?” He wasmocking me, but I didn’t care. It was justgood to hear his voice again.

I rolled my eyes. “For all I knew, youwere taking me to a cave in the middle ofItaly.”

“Hmm.” He stroked his chin. “Thatain’t a bad idea, either.”

I only faked my annoyance but Charliecould see that I was near giddy withexcitement. California was only one of themany places I had wanted to travel. Andwhile these weren’t fantastic

circumstances, I was glad I would get tosee a little piece of it, anyway.

Polo couldn’t stand it any longer. “Oh!Oh! Oh! Hey, Ben? Ben? Is Elise makingpancakes for dinner today? Because thatwould be really great.”

“Who is Elise?” I mouthed the wordsto Charlie.

“Ben’s old lady.”I nodded, but it took a moment for the

fact to really register. It had neveroccurred to me that someone like BenWalden could have a significant other, orat least not in the traditional sense.Vaguely I pictured Bonnie and Clyde andThe Lonely Heart Killers. Considering his

occupation, what sort of relationship didthey really have? I began to wonder whatlife was like for her: did she spend hernights worrying about the day Ben wasshot and killed by a rival? Did shepractice alibis for him in case the FBIcame looking for him?

Then it occurred to me that maybe shewas constantly prepared for all of thosethings. If she was with Ben, didn’t shehave to be? A life half-lived, waiting forsome terrible secret phone call or newsreport on the television that would revealher other half would spend the rest of hislife in prison?

I looked at Charlie for some comfort

but he was resting with his eyes closed. Afear rushed through me. I couldn’t even benear him without being afraid of losinghim.

“Charlie? Charlie?” I shook him.He opened a single eye. “Yup?”I sighed. “Nothing. Just making sure.”“Don’t worry, Vicious.” He rested his

broken hand on top of mine. “I ain’t goinganywhere.”

While he napped, I periodically icedhis hand and torso, which didn’t seem tobother him enough to do anything but tryand bat away the ice pack. Every so oftenI would hear his breath increase or see hisnostrils flare, and in those moments, when

it became obvious he was dreaming, Iwould rest myself against him and hearhim mutter only one word continuously,“Addie.”

H

Chapter 16

e had said it was a small town, butsmall was hardly the way I would havedescribed it. When any area is popularand populated enough to contain its ownairport (of whatever size), then I hardly

see anything small about it.And while the airport of Healdsburg,

California was a municipal one, it wasexplained to me as we were landing thatmassive sums of money given to the rightpeople throughout the year can helpoverlook the international flight thatcomes in every so often and theindividuals on board. This also helpsavoid security checks that one would haveto endure at an international airport andthose pesky little things like being wantedby the law.

I was abundantly relieved when wefinally touched ground and all of us werestill intact. Charlie had slept for most of

the trip while I watched every flutter ofhis eyelashes, the twitch of his fingers,everything. I refused to risk somethinghappening while I was away.

“You should rest, Addie,” Ben said tome at one point. “Singapore is fifteenhours behind California. Essentially wejust time traveled.”

The sun was continuously coming upand we only seemed to catch up with itwhen we maneuvered with the tangledeffort of many to get Charlie off the planeand on top of the landing ramp. Not havingwalked in the better half of a day, his legswere like rubber. Reid was equally deadon his feet, but at least had napped while

the plane was on auto-pilot. He madeshort calls, after which a small army ofmen came out of an unmarked building tohelp not only Charlie, but to load fuel andother gizmos into the plane as well.

“I really like all the attention,”Charlie joked when we rode in a largeblack SUV. If I had to guess, I would havesaid they were Ben’s vehicle of choice. Ireally couldn’t do much complainingthough—sitting in the backseat withCharlie was significantly better than lyingin the cargo seat.

“Don’t get used to it,” I warned,“because if you worry me like this again,I’ll just kill you myself.”

From the passenger seat, Ben laughed.“Ah yes, you and Elise should get alongsplendidly.” As we drove deeper into thecountryside, Ben’s voice seem to change,his posture slackened and he removed hisbifocals, resting his head against the neckrest. He seemed to be a different person aswe approached this place he called home.

At first we passed a slew of homesand buildings typical of any Americantown. It was only after a few miles that theallure of the region genuinely took overwhen the housing developments andcondos faded into hills and scenic horsefarms. Just beyond them I could see themountains making the land feel timely and

unkempt. Even the bustles of lateblooming wildflowers that grewuntouched in the occasional field couldn’tseem to be tamed.

Every so often we would see the old-world attempt at an advertisement for alocal vineyard at an intersection, followedby signs that were decorated withballoons pointing the way to someone’swedding or party. I tried to take in asmany details of the land as possible. Irolled down the window and took in theperfumed orchards, the incomprehensiblefreshness of the air; even the sky seemeddifferent from home.

At first I didn’t see the house when we

began rolling down the dirt road. It lookedlike something Gatsby would havepurchased if he had lived on this coast. Itwas the sort of mammoth I envisionedwhen I first read Wuthering Heights, onlyinstead of a stone template or gothicfeatures, this place was a combination ofsome old world villa and a vision ofmodernization.

It sat on acres of land, much furtherthan my eyes could calculate bythemselves. As we traveled along the roadI could see orchards maintained by figuresin the distance. The trees themselvesseemed to surround everything.

The house itself mainly consisted of

large windows encased by semi-circledivides, which created a balcony structurealong the entire upper level. Where therewere no windows, there was a rich creamcolor that brightened the folds of theexterior walls. The structure was sortedinto three separate sections—perfectlycentered among themselves. I understoodhow it was easy for everyone to just staytogether.

Once we reached the garage of thehouse, it only appeared larger. I wasintimidated, not only by the massivenessof the house and its grandness, but also bythe surge of welcomers that rushed theSUV before it was even in park.

“It usually ain’t this bad.” Charlietried to reach over me to open the door butforgot himself, clasping his torso andseething at the burst of pain.

“Are you okay?”He nodded, but I could see how

quickly the color left his face. “Are you?”His thumb brushed against my bruisedcheekbone.

Before anything else could happen, aportly looking gentleman opened our doorand stuck his head into the vehicle.

“Which one of you is hurt?” Irecognized his dialect from either Jerseyor New York—I would have to rememberto ask later.

Polo started jumping and pointing atCharlie. “This one is! This one is!”

I got out of the way as quickly as Icould. It wasn’t difficult to see that I wasa fish out of water here, but I refused tomake a nuisance of myself.

Among the greeters was a youngwoman with long dark hair and the healthycomplexion of someone who might havespent just the right amount of time in thegarden on a daily basis. She eyed meinstantly with olive eyes that seemed tosparkle in the chaos.

“Oh, hi there!” She came at me withopen arms that embraced, and a heavy butnot entirely unpleasant perfume. “You

must be Addie.” She forced my hand inhers and vicariously shook for the both ofus. “I’m Elise—I’ve heard so much aboutyou. You poor thing, I bet you’re justaching to get yourself cleaned up…”

I smiled and nodded, and although Ididn’t want to be rude, my only real focuswas on Charlie and I didn’t bother hidingit. From over her shoulder, I could seeYuri and Polo struggling to carry hisweight while Charlie stubbornly struggledagainst them; calling them names andswearing.

I had become completely unaware shewas still talking. “Excuse me. Um, justone second.”

I stepped away and used my hands tocall out to the awkward bunch, “Charlie!”

He stopped his squirming and glancedback at me.

“Let them help you.”His eyes darted from across the

veranda. Before he could challenge themagain, Yuri tripped him across the knee,forcing him to fall forward. I called out,but they managed to catch him before hefell flat on his face and carried him therest of the way into the house.

“Wow.” Elise came up from behindme. “I’ve never seen him listen toanyone.”

The interior of the house was all highceilings and pallid white walls. Crisp,blue marble countertops created an islandin the circular kitchen, which led directlyto a large open living area, where an arrayof large abstract paintings lined the walls.

“You—have a lovely home.” Icrossed my arms over myself, feelingimmediately out of place in suchglamorous surroundings.

“Oh, thank you.” She put her armaround my shoulder in what I guessed wasan attempt to alleviate some of mydiscomfort. “I can’t believe you’ve beenon that terrible ship with those boys allweek long! If that had been me, I would

have lost my mind within hours.”“It wasn’t so bad…” I glanced over at

Charlie, who was hobbling to a roomaround the staircase. Though he continuedto swear under his breath, he was nolonger putting up the same fight as before,now allowing Yuri to take most of hisweight on his injured side.

Elise saw the direction of my glanceand laughed. “Benjamin mentioned youwere a good sport. I’m happy you decidedto come along. I’ve been hearing nothingelse but about you all week long and I’vejust been on edge to meet you.”

“Oh umm…thank you?”It was strange to be welcomed with

such pleasantness. I suppose I hadexpected the same amount of bitterness Ihad received from Reid and Yuri. Andwhile I had never had many femalefriends, Elise seemed to be genuinelyfriendly.

I followed them into another pallidwhite room that seemed to be fixed as asort of guest room. The chestnut fringeddresser matched the bed frame andsubsequent night stands, which had beendecorated with matching blue vases filledwith carnations of every color. In thedoorway, I bit my lip while I watched theportly man put an IV into Charlie’s arm.

“I hate those things,” he grumbled.

I came up beside him and sat next tohim on the bed. “Don’t be such a baby.This is your fault, you know. You said Igot into trouble for not keeping my noseout of other people’s business, and thenyou turned around and did the same thing.”

He leaned and kissed my forehead.“That ain’t the same.”

“It’s exactly the same!”“Nope.”I broke first with a smile. I was too

relieved to argue and he knew it. “Themain thing is that everybody’s okay now.”

I looked up at the man who wasadministrating some kind of needle intothe IV. “Everybody will be okay, right?”

The fear was creeping through my voiceand it made Charlie scoff.

“Hmm? Hmm? Yes? What, younglady? Yes, sorry about that.” He tapped ata bag of saline solution impatiently. “It’sjust a flesh wound.”

Charlie found my expression evenmore amusing. “Its all right, Jimmy knowswhat he’s doing.”

Once the doctor had successfullymanaged to set up the IV, he gave Charliea mild anesthetic, and warned that itwould knock him out for a few hours.

At the mention of unconsciousness,Charlie clasped at my hand and enclosedit within his own. “You wanna hear

something stupid?”I rolled my eyes. “Always.”Already his voice was beginning to

fade out, “I-I’m kinda scared you ain’tgoing to be ‘round when I wake up.”

I smiled. Kissed his cheek. “Nothingis going to keep me away from you,remember?”

At the insistence of Elise, I followedher up the elliptical staircase, but onlybecause she promised she would have meback down to Charlie within the hour.

As we walked down the hall with lushgolden carpets and pale blue walls, shetangled my arm in hers like someone might

a lifelong friend. I wondered how muchshe had been prepped for this messysituation or if she just took to being ahostess naturally.

“First of all, let’s get you something towear. I was trying to picture myself inyour shoes, stuck in that place without somuch as a toothbrush! I just couldn’t do it,Addie. You do prefer Addie, yes? Or is itAdeline?”

“Addie is better, thanks.”“Fair enough. I always like to ask

because I know Benjamin wishes I wouldcall him Ben like everyone else. Thoughto be honest, I started doing it just to geton his nerves. But now I can’t call him

anything else.”I laughed. “I like that very much.”We walked through a large bedroom

suite with the most delicate bronzedfurniture and sponged painted walls. Alight breeze tossed white curtains aroundan antique spinning wheel, not far fromwhere a vase of sunflowers sat perched ona desk. I thought it all blended nicelytogether and again it made me glad to beon land. But the warmth of the room alsoreminded me of home and re-ignited thehomesickness I was feeling for my family.I was back in the country now, still threethousand miles away from home, but onthe bright side, I was that much closer.

“I have so many things…” She openeda large walk-in closet where a thousanddifferent garments seemed to lay.“Honestly, I’ve never even worn half ofthese things, but shopping is my worstweakness.” She seemed giddy as shespoke; it was hard not to be entranced byher warmth. “And really, since I’ve hadTyler, I don’t see myself wearing any ofthese things again. It doesn’t feel very‘Mommy-ish’.”

I looked at Elise as she piled variousitems of clothing on my arm. She wasslender in figure, but her red sundressrevealed the fresh curves of motherhoodthat wouldn’t have been given away if she

hadn’t mentioned it.She shooed me towards one of the

massive bathrooms with my handsoverflowing.

“Now you go along now and freshenyourself up. Take all the time you wantand please help yourself to anything youmight need, okay?”

“That’s really generous of you, Elise,but you don’t have to—”

“I insist now, go, go!”Before I could protest any more, she

politely pushed me into the bathroom andshut the door. I took the moment to smellmy hair and the skin beneath my arms. Ididn’t think I smelled or anything, but

maybe my perception had been altered bymy time on the sea.

Like everything else, the bathroomwas a grand design in granite and marble.Along with the antique tub, there was anoversized shower which practicallybegged to be used. Once I took a sniff ofthe small ivory soaps, it wasn’t hard to doas instructed and take my sweet timescrubbing every inch of me. I hadn’trealized it until then, but my knees andelbows were layered with light patches ofdirt and grime—blood, mine andCharlie’s, had dried on various parts ofmy body. I watched the drain swallow thescalding hot water, dirt, blood, and stray

hair that fell from my head.I wrapped a large white towel around

myself and reveled in its lushness. Theroom was overwhelmed by barrels ofsteam that I had to wipe from the mirrorbefore I could see any sort of reflection ofmyself. Some new bruises had formedover the old, but other than that, none of itmade any sense to me. I still looked aboutas plain as any other girl. Throughout theweek I had gotten some sun, whichseemed to strengthen my complexion alittle. But everything else was still thesame: eyes, hair, lips; and for whateverreason, Charlie seemed quite fond of itall.

From everything Elise gave me, Iselected a simple navy blue dress with abeige ribbon just above the waist. Just asshe said, it still had the tags on it and Iwas reluctant to remove them, but Ienjoyed the feel of the cotton-silk toomuch to pass it up.

When I stepped out of the bathroom,Elise was sitting on the divan, cooing at abundle in her arms. For a moment Iwatched them, fearing I might interrupt if Imade my presence known. The little feetwithin the blanket kicked and squirmed asshe tickled them with the tips of hermanicured nails. The bundle within theblanket giggled at the attention and its tiny

fingers reached out for Elise.“Hi.” I walked over and sat beside

her.I felt like a useless piece of furniture,

but Elise was a face of smiles. As Ipeeked over her shoulder, I could see theface of the little boy and instantlyremembered one of Charlie’s manysketches. I smiled at the thought; it wasnice to know he was just downstairs andrelatively safe.

“He’s beautiful,” I told her. I couldfaintly see the same nose that belonged toBen and tuffs of the crisp dark hair thatbelonged to Elise. “How old is he?”

“Just four months now.” Elise gazed at

him with the utmost affection. “He’sgrowing so quickly it feels strange to me,”she admitted. “On the other hand, it’s hardto believe my world ever even existedwithout him.”

“I’ve seen a lot of sketches of him.But I didn’t realize…”

She laughed and hoisted Tyler so hewas over her shoulder. “Yes, Ty lovesposing for his Uncle Charlie.”

I smiled awkwardly, rememberinghow the photograph-like drawings ofTyler were so easily demolished byWallace and what he had said whenshoving me into the confession booth.Wallace’s only regret at the time was that

he couldn’t have Elise and Tyler there,too.

She eyed me curiously but I pretendednot to notice. Instead, I focused on thelittle eyes that bugged out at me,surrounded by all of his pudginess. Icouldn’t even begin to imagine hurtingeither of them, let alone being angry orvengeful enough to even have thosethoughts.

“Are you feeling well, Addie?” Elisecrossed her legs and swayed her feetagainst the divan.

“Yes, um…I’m fine.”“May I ask you something a little

personal?”

I nodded, only imagining the otherwide assortment of questions she musthave been asking herself. I had, after all,neglected to mention to Ben Wallace’scomment about his wife and son. But Eliseseemed like an intelligent person—shehad to wonder if she and Ty were also indanger.

“Why are you here exactly?”“I’m sorry for imposing,” I offered. “It

was never my intention to be a bother toanyone.”

She waved me away. “Oh please!You’re no bother at all, besides it’s niceto have company. I meant why did youcome along with the boys after the ship got

to port? I have a vague idea of whathappened from what Benjamin told me,and the news, but I’m still not entirely sureI understand…”

“I wanted to be with Charlie,” I cut in,“and he wanted me with him. I didn’treally think much beyond that.”

She lit up with excitement.“Awesome! I’m so glad!”

“Huh?”She put the baby down in the bassinet

and strolled to the dresser.“Well,” she brought back over a hand

brush and a few other items I couldn’t see.“Benjamin said a couple of days ago thatCharlie was completely undone by you,

but frankly, I just didn’t believe him. I’mglad that not only was he right, but youseem to be quite taken, too.”

“A couple of days ago?”She sat behind me and began brushing

my hair. “Um hmm…I think it wasWednesday morning before the ship leftfor Singapore.”

The information left me feelingstranded. Charlie and I had only first laideyes on each other the day before that.Had Ben been exaggerating, or was itpossible that Charlie loved me longbefore I knew I loved him?

“It was the same with Benjamin andme,” Elise confessed. “I was working for

a catering company in Chicago, and onenight, when we were working this bigbenefit bazaar, Benjamin and Yuri crashedthe event, trying to gauge security for ashipment they wanted to steal the next day.When he left three days later, he asked meto marry him and I said yes.”

She clasped a barrette in my hair. “Itall sounds pretty romantic, but it wasreally pretty stupid,” she admitted. “Idon’t regret it, though. They say youshould try to live without regrets, but ifthat were the case, life would be boring,wouldn’t it?” She giggled a little.

I tangled with my thumbs. “I thinkyou’re probably a lot more adventurous

than I am.”“Not from what I hear. Is it true you

spent the night in one of the holds?”I was a little surprised to hear Elise

would know about that. She seemed toofeminine to understand the ins and outs ofthe ship.

“It wasn’t exactly intentional. I wasreally being an idiot about the entirething.”

She sighed and clasped anotherbarrette in my hair. “Love does that toeverybody.”

I laughed awkwardly as I tried toguess Elise’s age. Although she appearedyoung in some aspects, she was also wise

in some very distant ways. I guessedbased on her skin and style choice that shecouldn’t have been older than her mid-twenties, but maybe associating withcriminals distorted the aging process.

From somewhere downstairs, Polo’shyena laugh echoed.

“I swear,” Elise sighed. “You musthave the patience of a saint to put up withthose boys all week. I love them all, butgeez.” She pointed her thumb downstairs.“Polo especially gets on my last nerve.”

I laughed. “They’ve grown on me.Wh-when you first knew Ben did any ofthe guys ever give you a hard time aboutit?”

Her back stiffened then and her faceturned into a frown. I thought maybe shedidn’t understand; or worse, I hadoffended her. But then she broke out into alight, cynical laugh. “You mean Reid,don’t you?” she snorted.

“How did you know?”She turned serious for a moment and

stopped to consider her words. “He can’thelp the way he is. And I think aftereverything else, he’s just cautious aboutall of the possibilities… and thosepotential liabilities.”

“Does he think you’re a liability?”Her voice tightened. It was the closest

she had yet come to being angry. “Tyler

and I, yes.”“Oh, boy.”“Hmm. I know. Don’t get me started.

You really can’t take anything he says ordoes personally.”

It was good to hear what I alreadysuspected. Still, I didn’t like the idea ofknowing I had put a strain on thefriendship between Charlie and Reid. Ibegan to wonder what other long termeffects our relationship could have.

I was really quite amazed with the endresults of Elise’s hair experiment. She hadmanaged to make a decent updo out of themangled mess of my hair. And I have to

admit I liked the look and feel of it.“See?” she said as she picked Tyler

back up. “With fifteen minutes to spare,too.”

I glanced at a large glass clock on thewall. Sure enough, I had only been awayfrom Charlie for forty-five minutes.

“I can’t thank you enough, Elise.You’ve been so nice to me—”

“Think nothing of it! I’m just happy tohelp.”

I followed her back downstairs,where Yuri and Polo were playing whatappeared to be a game of Rummy. Elisehanded a squirming Tyler to Ben, whoaccepted the boy eagerly. They both

smiled at the sight of each other, and againI could see the resemblance. It wasterrible to think that anyone could dislikethe idea of Ben having a family. It was soobvious how much they adored each other.

“Have you been behaving yourself foryour poor mother?” He swooshed Tylerover his head playfully and made his eyesgo cross. Tyler cooed and giggled at theexpression, reaching for his father’s facewith his tiny hands.

“No, he certainly hasn’t!” Eliselaughed. “He hasn’t slept a full night sinceyou’ve been gone. If I didn’t know anybetter, I’d swear he was trying to give mea nervous breakdown.”

“I do suspect he might get that fromme.” He reached for Elise’s elbowunsuspectingly as she bent to pick up oneof Tyler’s pacifiers from the floor. Shegiggled like a school girl and sat besidehim compliantly.

“Don’t be a bad influence on him.” Helaughed lightly and Tyler released a largebubble of drool on Ben’s shirt.

“Oh sure, take her side.”I smiled; the sight was a welcome

one. They seemed genuinely happy in theirdynamic—and although the thought wasonly beginning to cross my mind, Ipondered if Charlie had even consideredthe sort of direction his own future was

going to take. Where did he see himselfthis time next year? In ten years?

He looked peaceful enough sleepingthere. I was glad someone had drawn thecurtains shut, although it did very little tokeep the bright California sunshine out. Iwas wishing Charlie was awake to tell meif it was always like that here—bright andwarm. Or if descriptions of the West coastwere exaggerated and it wasn’t as lovelyas I had imagined.

I tiptoed to the side of the bed and satbeside him, taking my time and being verycareful not to wake him, just in case theanesthetic was wearing off. On the tablebeside him I saw a prescription bottle

without a name or pharmacy address, justthe standard label of a familiar antibiotic.The IV was still attached to his arm,steadily giving him the fluids he needed tostay hydrated. I questioned how much itwould cost to have a private doctor onstaff in this day and age, and how muchmore it would cost to have that doctor notask any questions.

Beside the night stand was a smallwastebasket nearly overflowing withsoiled gauze and antiseptic threads. Thesight of the dried blood turned to a darkbrown stain made me tremble. I had torepeat to myself that everything was okay,deflecting the possibility that he was still

in danger.I pulled the cotton sheet gently from

the wrapping across his torso. Withoutquestion, it looked more professional thanmine and I felt glad that everything seemedto be in order. I wondered how manystitches and how long it would take to heal—would I stay here until then? Elise hadmade it clear I was more than welcome.And I was confident Charlie would wantme around, but what about my family?How would I deal with them and howwould I explain myself once I returnedhome?

I looked back at Charlie; hopefully wewould figure it out together.

The faint voices coming from theliving room interrupted my thoughts. Icould only make out every third or fourthword but I could tell none of the voicesbelonged to any of our party. It made meinstantly nervous.

“Today…discovered…in…while…”Before I opened the door, I

ascertained the source of the voices werecoming from the large flat screentelevision located on the wall. I peered atit from the doorway. I could see vagueclips as they appeared on the newsnetwork in succession, including photos ofmy family and I and images of lawenforcement officials wearing FBI gear

outside of my house trying to shoo thecameras away. Behind the newscaster, Icaught a glimpse of Dad talking with aman who had the sleeves of his shirtcuffed up, his tie loosened, and a shinybadge pinned on the sports jacket hecarried in his hand. I may not have evennoticed him, except that his copper hairappeared illuminated as he stood talkingnext to Dad. I wanted to see more of Dad,but the image changed again so I leanedforward a little to try and hear better.

“That’s right, Bethany; we have justreceived insider news that the kidnappersof Adeline Battes have made contact withher father, Michael Battes, just a few

hours ago…”“That didn’t happen at all!” Ben

yelled.“Shh…” Elise shushed him.“…when asked for an update, Mr.

Battes had this to say: ‘We have everyconfidence that Addie is safe…’”

Dad? That was definitely Dad’s voiceI was hearing.

“‘…and that she will come home to ussoon.’ Mr. Battes and his family have noother comments at this time andrespectfully request that the policecontinue with their investigation—”

“Reid! Turn that off right now,” Elisedemanded. “If Addie hears that, she might

get upset.”I quietly slid back into the room and

shut the door.Elise had a knack for knowing people

—I was upset. Now that Charlie was outof physical harm, I had no choice but to dothe logical, responsible thing and returnhome. I had not only promised Dad, but Iwas putting everyone in danger by stayingthere. With each and every second that theauthorities were looking for me, and byassociation, Charlie, they were gettingcloser to Ben, his family, and the guys.And whether or not the guys would go tojail was hardly a question. My presencewas beyond inconvenient and downright

catastrophic for everyone involved.I lay down beside Charlie; taking

every precaution not to touch any part ofhim I thought might hurt or be damaged.No matter how badly I wanted it, and nomatter how much I tried, I couldn’t stayhere with him…not then, anyway.

I tried to think of ways to stall, waysto avoid going home until the very lastminute. At the least, I could wait untilCharlie woke up and we could talk…figure out some sort of strategy to meet upagain in a few weeks when things wereless chaotic. In my mind, I tried to think ofdifferent things, but nothing was reallycoming to fruition. I reasoned that maybe

Elise would be willing to help…But before my will could leave me, I

left Charlie.

I

Chapter 17

n a small white room that had a border ofugly yellow flowers, I swayed my feetagainst the doctor’s examination table, notunlike I used to when I was a little kid.Since I had refused to be examined for

sexual assault, a series of doctors, somefriendly, while others not so much, hadsubjected me to a series of brain scans,coordination exams, blood tests, x-rays,and a variety of other unnecessaryprocedures that were grueling andinvasive. Throughout the entire process,however, I kept my mouth shut and wentalong with it because the only thing Icould really think about was whether ornot Charlie was okay and how mad heprobably was at me.

I think they were checking my bloodpressure for the third time when I finallysaid something. “Excuse me, but can I usea telephone so I can call my Dad?”

The head doctor guy looked at me asif I had asked him for an endangeredanimal to eat.

A nurse patted me on the arm andspoke in soft, slow sentences. “He’salready been contacted, honey. He’s onthe way now.”

I mimicked her and spoke in anequally condescending tone, “Well, Iwould hope so. But I’m not cooperatingwith any of you further until I have anopportunity to speak with him myself.”

Whether they thought I wastraumatized or my attitude itself waseffective, none of the hospital’s staff gaveme anymore problems.

“Hi, Dad.”“Addie! Are you okay? They wouldn’t

tell me anything over the phone.”I sighed. “Yeah, Dad. Just some

bumps and bruises, no worse for wear.”“I’m on a plane right now. I’ll be

there in three hours.”“Dad, you don’t have to do that—”“I brought you clothes and a new

phone.”“Okay, Dad. I love you.”He was clearly surprised by my

admission of affection. “You too, Addie.I-I’m glad you’re okay.”

So there I sat, every so often icing myface, which I could tell from the brief

glance in the mirror, was not going to bepretty by the morning. While I was tryingto be nice to all of the doctors and nurses,I was also on the brink of not sleeping for24 hours and my patience had all but runout. So when two gentlemen and anotherwoman entered the doctor’s office, I hadall but had enough of it.

“Hello, Adeline,” said the woman.“My name is Dr. Dayton, and these areagents Brian Norton and Adam Harpsten.”She gestured to the two men. “Do youmind if we ask you a few questions?”

I was almost stupid enough to say tothe copper haired man about how Irecognized him from television, but I

caught myself. Instead, I just said, “Addie,you can just call me Addie.”

She smiled. Her teeth seemedbleached in the bright room. Luckily, theFBI agents were less intimidating than Ithought they might be. Agent Harpstenwore a dark blue suit and looked like hedid on television and Agent Norton was ashorter man with a bronzed complexionand a gray suit. They both appeared tiredand soft around the edges of their eyes. Iwondered if they had been up as long as Ihad.

“You guys should sit down.” I pointedto the worn plastic chairs at the corner ofthe room kept for the patient’s family.

“You look like you could use a break.”Dr. Dayton made some kind of

menacing mark in a notebook whileAgents Norton and Harpsten looked ateach other questioningly. Though it wasencouraging to see Agent Harpsten smile alittle when his partner looked away.

“Relax everybody.” I tried to smile.“It isn’t the end of the world.”

Or was it? If they had caught Charlieor if he was injured beyond repair, then itmost certainly was the end of the world.

“Addie,” Dr. Dayton began, “can youtell us a little bit about what happened?”

So I told them about the crowded reststop, the sounds from the parking lot, and

how someone had come up from behindme and put me in the back of an SUV. AndI told them about the abandoned house,leaving out Charlie and the boys…

“I was blindfolded most of the timeafter that,” I lied. “I don’t remember alot…”

Agent Norton removed several itemsfrom a large envelope and placed them infront of me. “Do you recognize any ofthese individuals, Addie?”

It was all I could do not to let my eyesbulge from my head. Of course Irecognized almost everyone. There weresix photos there, all of them mug shots, butthe three that stood out the most was one

of Polo and an extremely young photo ofBen.

I made my eyes stay on each photo forexactly four seconds before moving on tothe next.

“N-no. I’ve never seen them before.”I was sure they didn’t believe me, but

they moved on anyway. Maybe it wasn’tgood etiquette to interrogate kidnappingvictims within a few hours of being‘rescued.’

Norton took out another photo. It wasof Charlie that night I had first seen him. Itwas black and white, grainy withshadows. It must have been a piece ofcamera footage from the rest stop.

“Do you know who this man is,Addie?”

I pretended to study the face of thestranger, though in reality I already knewevery detail, every feature. “No. Am Isupposed to?”

Harpsten answered, “His name isCharles Hays, and you spoke with him afew moments before you wereabducted…”

I looked at the photo a moment longer.I didn’t want them to put this one away.“Oh yeah, he umm—he asked me for thetime.”

“You never saw him again after yourabduction?”

I closed my eyes, rubbed my brow. “Idon’t think so.”

“After you were assaulted in thehouse, do you remember?”

The sigh came from deep within me. Iclosed my eyes again and tried to breathe.This was the part I had practiced in myhead while Reid drove me. When it camedown to it, I implored his help because Iknew he wouldn’t hesitate to be rid of me.Elise might try to convince me to stay, andone of the guys might try to force me tostay.

“Everything is kind of hazy.” I didn’tlie but I didn’t tell the truth, either. I saidthat I remembered being in a small room,

lots of cigarette smoke, different voicestalking about card playing…

Everyone made notes on their pads ofpaper. I marveled at the autocracy of it.

“How did you get in contact with yourfather?”

I also marveled at Reid’s creativity.When I reached for a suggestion he hadbeen surprisingly helpful.

This Norton was like a puppy with anew bone. And while I needed an easyout, it wasn’t as though I was lying when Ibecame overwhelmed. I felt the tearswelling up but tried to keep them back.“Someone dropped a phone and I took it. Ithought it was to prove I was alive—a

ransom thing. But when they caught mewith it…” I pointed to my face andgestured to the bruises there. My handinadvertently wiped away the tears. Imarveled at the wet on my fingertips.Because while I had planned to makemyself cry, I had never intended to do itfor real. “Listen, I don’t want to talkanymore.”

“That’s quite all right, Addie,” Dr.Dayton attempted to comfort me with lamesmiles and pats on the back, yet it did melittle good. I wanted—needed Charliethere. “You don’t have to if you don’twant to.”

But Norton ignored us both. “Do you

know how you got from New York toCalifornia?”

“N-not really,” I lied. I switched theice pack to the other side of my face,hoping it would cover up anyinconsistencies in my expression. “I slepta lot.”

Another part of the lie I had preparedfor.

“I’m a terrible liar,” I warned Reid.“Yeah, I got that.”“Well, then, I’m open for suggestions

—”“Here.” He violently yanked my wrist

and forced my palm open, shoving two

small blue pills inside. “Take these. Whenthey ask, just say someone spoon fed youthem all day long.”

I laughed in his face. “I’m not takingthese.”

“Don’t trust me?” he mocked.I fastened my seatbelt and scowled

back, “About as far as I can throw you.”“Look! Those people are

professionals, they won’t believe you ifyou just outright lie. They see somesleeping pills in your blood and maybe—maybe they’ll believe you don’t knowanything, that you just slept all week.”

I squeezed the tablets in my hand.“And if they don’t?”

“Then I know where you live.”

Norton opened up his file and beganreading off a sheet of paper. “Yes, yourtox screen is positive fordiphenhydramine, but the head neurologistsays your head CT is clear. You don’tremember how you got three-thousandmiles from home?”

If only this one knew how far fromhome I had really been.

“At some point I ate the food theyoffered me,” I sniffed. “I know it wasstupid, but I didn’t want to starve to death,either. After that, a man named Wallacewould give me blue pills every few hours.

He said they wouldn’t hurt me, but he’d doa lot worse to me if I refused.”

I then described Wallace with everypossible detail I could, right down to theangle of his hairline. I could tell Harpstenwas impressed by how intricate some ofmy answers were. But before Nortoncould ask anything else, Harpsten shookhis head at him and took the remainder ofthe files. Agent Harpsten and Norton werelooking at each other as they put away thephotographs. They didn’t quite have theanswers they wanted but they were stillsomewhat satisfied.

“Thank you, Addie,” said AgentHarpsten, “you’ve been really helpful.”

By the time we got back to NewJersey, thirteen different newspapers hadthirteen theories about what had happenedto me and what had occurred betweenNew York and California. Robbie hadcollected most of them, obnoxiouslywaving them in my face (which had for themost part healed), and been about asannoying as any brother could be.

“‘Kidnapping’s Happy & MysteriousConclusion’? ‘Nabbed Teen EscapedCaptors’? Can you believe this stuff?”

“Anything about alien abductions?” Iasked.

“What?”

“Never mind, Robbie.” I went back tomy crossword.

The days and weeks that followed myreturn home were long and brought thekind of dull ache that one might feel afterhaving run on the treadmill too long. Themonotony of the same place even though itfelt like I never stopped moving, though Iconfess the days were mostly just long. Itdidn’t bother me that the FBI and localpolice were always around askingquestions I kept pretending to not know theanswers to, listening to our telephoneconversations, and checking our mail,following us around. I had checked it offas a mere nuisance, only feeling bad that it

inconvenienced Dad. It didn’t bother methat Adam Harpsten had been temporarilytransferred to the Trenton office and ranweekly reports on our family so that theFBI headquarters could be prepared forany other impending threat.

Honestly, it didn’t even bother me thatthe media was hounding us day and night,wanting interviews and exclusives to ‘ourstory.’ Dad and I actually found anadvantage in it, since reporters hadswamped Robbie at Fort Drum sorelentlessly that the ranks actuallyrerouted his contract until the end of thefollowing month. So while Dad pretendedto be annoyed by the pretty female

reporters in the parking lot of his work, Ithink deep down he was exceptionallyoverjoyed at having both of his kids backhome and safe.

The only thing that ever got to me wasnot having Charlie. A lot of thenewspapers said that when I mysteriouslyshowed up at a bus stop (little did theyknow it was of my choosing) half passedout, drugged, and a face covered inbruises, I might have been dropped offthere by a sympathetic cohort of mykidnapper. Some of them were even eagerto point out how the authorities could havebeen off base about their original theories.I guess they liked the wild potential in the

fiction they could sell.Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but be

miserable about being away from Charlie.I knew I was being stupid, selfish even, inmy misery, yet I couldn’t help myself.When night fell, I was reminded of his lipson mine that first time. I half hoped to seehim every time I stepped out of thebathroom, his arrogant smile waiting forme. I wondered how he might sketchnearly everything…I spent my days hopinghe was keeping his temper, that he wasn’thurting anyone…mostly himself. Inside, itchewed away at me not knowing if he wasinjured or if he was taking care of himself.I didn’t even know what country he was

in. I didn’t even know if he was alive.

Dad walked into the kitchen with apizza and a bottle of soda. He lookedworn. It was hard to deny that he had agedsince my disappearance. Not knowingwhere I was, or if I was alive had clearlywrung his nerves raw, turning his skinashy and his remaining dark hair gray. Ifelt responsible for this, since in manyrespects I could have avoided the entireordeal. But at the same time, it was theonly element I could truly regret. Myadventure had allowed me to know andlove Charlie, and that was worth any painor inconvenience I had gone through.

“Hello there, my adoring fans. I havebrought tidings of great joy!” The aromaof pepperoni filled the dining room butstill couldn’t tempt my stomach. I knewDad and Robbie had noticed I hadn’t beeneating, and while I tried to smile and gothrough the motions for their sake, most ofit made my stomach hurl.

Robbie jumped from the table. “It’sabout time, Old Man. I’ll grab some paperplates.”

I started stacking up the piles ofnewspapers and pushing them to the side. Icould feel Dad’s eyes on me, his constantworry. Although he had never come outand directly asked me about what had

happened, I had assured him time and timeagain that I was “Okay. Fine. All right.”And I think he tried to take me at my word.

“Say, Addie,” Dad pulled out a chairbeside me. “That one social worker andthe psychologist from California calledagain. She uh—thinks maybe you shouldmake an appointment with an associate ofhers over here. You know, like talk tosomeone about what happened?”

I smiled. I hated the falseness of it all.“Dad, we’ve been over this. I don’t needtherapy or anything. I’m okay, honest.”

He tapped his fingers on the table. Hehad no idea what he was doing. “It mightbe good for you to talk to somebody,

though.”I patted him on the hand and did my

best to be reassuring. “It’s okay, Dad. I’mokay, everything is okay.”

“If you need to talk,” he said. “I’mhere. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, Dad.” I took the plates fromRobbie, who bounced into the room. Withthe onset of attention toward our family,he had several young ladies seeking hisaffections and it was complimenting hisego more than usual. “I know.”

Dad was anything but stupid. I couldlie all I wanted but with all the extrasleeping I was doing, he suspected morethan anyone that I was depressed.

Sleeping had become my greatest newpastime since I was now capable ofdreaming on a regular basis. I blamed itentirely on the head trauma I had endured,but I loved every fleeting second of it.And I abused the ability as frequently as Icould, often coming home from class andstaying awake for as long as was sociallyacceptable before taking a nap or going tobed for the evening altogether.

When I dreamed, I could see Charlieas plainly as any given day. Whileunconscious, I didn’t know that everythingwas unreal and I would have to wake upand go back to a reality without him—Ididn’t have to acknowledge my heart was

broken. Sometimes the images werefainter than others. Other times, they wereincredibly detailed, like one of Charlie’ssketches, and I could make out everydetail of his tattoos and feel his smile withmy fingertips. There were some nightswhen I could only hear his laughter likesomething erased in the shadows, but eventhose nights were decent enough and Icould make it through another day.

I munched on the pizza, feeling thecheese go rubbery in mouth. Life pre-Charlie, I would have consumed ithappily. I looked over at Robbie, whowas taking up the slack with the remainder

of the slices without hesitation, shovingthem in his mouth one after the other.

I made myself laugh. “Don’t they teachyou any manners in the Army, Robbie?”

He dabbed at his face with a papernapkin. “I happen to be verysophisticated.”

Dad rolled his eyes but it had methinking again about how well he andCharlie would probably get along and Ifelt my heart slacken. It seemed as though Igenuinely couldn’t get through anythingwithout thinking of him. I began to thinkthat maybe it was time to put my plan ofchoice into action—or at the very least,begin the process.

“Hey, Dad?” I put the beaten sliceback on the plate. It was clearly defeated.

“Hmm?”I had to sound casual about this. If I

appeared as desperate as I really was thenhe wouldn’t even bite.

“What would you think about me um—maybe going away to school nextsemester?” I swirled a hill of garlic saltaround with my pinky finger.

Judging from the way he pulled thecheese straight away from his slice ofpizza, I could guess how he felt about it.

While less than two years ago Dadwould have been okay with me goingaway for college, with recent events he

was definitely not going to agree to itwithout some serious convincing. Sincemy return home, he had becomeuncharacteristically overprotective, eventaking a leave of absence to drive me toand from class every day, the library, oranywhere else I might have wanted to go.He even memorized my course scheduleso he could call between classes toconfirm I was okay and still on campus.Luckily, I had convinced him that he wasdriving more attention toward me thandiverting it. Even Robbie had lent a handin arguing that he was causing more harmthan good. After a couple of weeks heweaned himself of the new habits and

returned to work—reluctant to let mereturn to a new kind of normal.

“I’ve already started applications fora few schools I’m thinking about,” I began“I’ve also sent out a couple.” I mumbledthe words into my glass, unsure if I reallywanted him to hear them or not.

Dad coughed. I think maybe he wastrying to figure out how to play this oneout. This was one of those moments hewas probably wishing Mom was stillalive so he could tag her in and he couldjust sit this one out on the sidelines.

“Addie, don’t you think maybe youshould wait awhile? You’re kind of goingthrough a lot of stuff right now.”

I smiled, tried to seem confident.“Life is too short to wait around, Dad.Besides, I should take advantage of mysituation and see if I can’t get a free ridesomewhere.”

“She has a point, Old Man,” Robbieadded. “She won’t be the flavor of themonth forever.”

I

Chapter 18

mplanting the idea was the first ofseveral steps I had commissioned toensure Dad’s confidence. While thatconversation ended without any realconclusion, I was pleased he hadn’t

completely banished the idea. In truth, Iwould go no matter what he said. In a fewmonths I would be eighteen, and therewould be little he could do to influencemy decision.

Unfortunately, the next stage of myplan was to mention that I was looking tostudy in California, although that soundedsuspicious—even to me. Yet, it was themost likely place I knew Charlie wouldbe, and going to school there was the onlyreasonable explanation for me residingthere that both the authorities and Dadmight believe.

One night, soon after I started hinting

about the Western seaboard, I fell asleepon top of a stack of applications and a fewbeloved resources like the thesaurus,Admission Matters handbook, and a half adozen copies of my transcripts. It was oneof those rare occasions that I was trying tostay awake past eight o’clock. I wantedevery certifiable detail of my Californiaapplications to be perfect in everyrespect…even if that meant straining myeyes on the same words over and overagain until I was borderline crazy.

I was having the most pleasant dreamabout Charlie when it happened. In thedream he was holding me and kissing mycollarbone (his spot). And although I

couldn’t see him, I knew he was thereenough to feel safe and content. It wasonly the cold that made me uncomfortable.It was mid-October and already the nightswere filled with the chill that promised asnow white winter. It disturbed my bodyto the point where my brain couldn’tconcentrate on the imaginary Charlie and Icursed out loud as I reached for mycomforter.

The imaginary Charlie laughed. Whata fantastic sound—I could have listened toit for the rest of my life.

“I miss you.” I told my hallucination.It pulled me closer. “I miss you, too.”Somewhere in my mind’s eye, I heard

the sound of sirens echoing past our house—loud and puncturing, they made meflinch and jolt up in my bed.

“Yikes, what the hell?”Sure enough, I awoke to an empty bed

and my room scoped with its usualshadows. I bit my lip to keep from crying,those vivid dreams were crueler than theones I knew to be artificial. At least withthose, I knew they were only a falsereality. But with the realistic ones, mymind’s eye could fool me at any time.

A soft rapping began at my door.“Umm, yeah?”Dad’s face peeked in from the hall

and brought in the bright light with it. “Are

you okay?”“Yes, fine.” I tried not to sound too

annoyed.“Oh good. I just heard on the police

scanner that there was a bomb threat orsomething at the municipal building.”

“Not everything bad means I’m indanger, Dad. I’m sure it’s just some kidsmaking prank calls—being stupid.”

He flushed, I had read his mind.“Well, I was just checking on you, that’sall.”

“I know. Good-night, Dad.”He feigned a smile. “Night, Addie.”I fell back into bed and continued

fighting back the tears in case Dad was

listening. The last thing I wanted was himworrying more than he had to. I thoughtmaybe if I could get back to myapplications, I could recreate the samesleeping scenario and have the samedream again—it was unlikely, but worth atry.

I reached my hands around thebedspread for the books and papers butfelt nothing. When had I moved them? Andwhen had I turned my lamp off? Familiareeriness crept over me and I slowlyslipped my feet out of bed to examine thesituation further, nearly tripping over aneatly stacked pile of books and papers onthe side of the bed.

I picked up the top piece of paper,which appeared to be blank at first,nothing more than white parchment. Butthere was also something oddly familiarabout it that I couldn’t quite figure out. Itwas only as I was going to place it downthat I could smell the scent:

Clove cigarettes.And at that I recognized the type of

paper: sketching paper. I turned it over inmy hands and saw a simple butcomplicated enough drawing of meleaning over the books and papers,chewing on the end of a pen while flippingthrough the dictionary.

“Did you know in 1880 this town only

had one cop?”“Charlie!”Sure enough, my corrupted dreams

had transformed into reality, because theentire upper torso of Charlie Hays washanging from my bedroom window.Somehow he had taken out the screen fromthe outside and had worked his way up thevinyl siding of the house.

“One cop I could deal with, but nowSummit has 46 uniforms, detectives, and akiddy program. What’s the world comin’to?”

I used the bed as a trampoline topropel myself to the other side of theroom. This was a practice I had

commenced since I was tall enough toreach the end of the bed frame, so I wassomewhat safe in not hurting myself.

He only had about half his body in theroom but I didn’t care, I threw myself intohis arms anyway. “When did you get here?How did you get here? Where have youbeen all my life?” I was half whispering,half yelling, but it was difficult to hearover the blood pounding in my ears.

He laughed into the crook of my neck.Though he no longer smelled of the sea, hedid retain his scent of aftershave andcigarettes. “I’ve been ‘round a few days. Idrove here. And I was ‘bout to ask you thesame question.” His arms went all the way

around me as he lifted me off the ground. Iwrapped my legs around his waist andremoved the ski cap from his head—Iwanted every possible proof that it washim.

“You shouldn’t be here, Charlie.Every few minutes a state trooper drivesby the house—”

“A little birdy told me those guys aregonna be too busy dealing withcherrybombs in some city hall to bebotherin’ you.”

“Please tell me you didn’t—”“If it makes you mad—then no. I

didn’t do nothin’. But Polo’s gonna bereal proud of himself.”

Mad? How could I possibly be madwith him at a time like that, when he wasthere and wonderful and so utterlyadorable…and here?

“What are you doing here, Charlie?” Ireleased myself from his hold and tip-toedto the door, locking it just to make sure.

He must have seen my smile falter.“You want me to go?”

“What a ridiculous question.” Ijumped back into his arms, slamming intohis torso and knocking the breath from hisstomach. He sighed as he nuzzled my neck.

“You’re crazy, you know that? Youshould be screaming, tryin’ to kick me orsomething. I don’t deserve to hold you.”

My fingers found their way through hishair. I could hear myself laughing and forthe first time in weeks I felt like myselfagain. “That’s a terrible thing to say. I’vemissed you horribly since California.Besides, you knew I was strange whenyou met me, you said so yourself.”

“You seem all right, Addie, going toschool, seeing movies with your brother,sittin’ at your favorite table at the library.And leavin’ the way you did was the bestthin’ you coulda done. I couldn’t have letyou go again.”

“Have you been watching me?” Ilooked up at him and eyed himsuspiciously. I was thrilled to see the

small cut in his hairline had faded to ahealthy scar from the last time I saw himand his kaleidoscope eyes were still justas bright as ever.

“I told ya I’ve been around a fewdays. That’s why I came over tonight. Yougotta stop this California stuff, Addie. Yougotta stop coming after me.”

I grabbed him by the collar of hisshirt. “Charlie, how could you saysomething like that?” I was genuinelyfurious but was having some difficultymaintaining it through my happiness.Charlie was here now, and though Iwanted his presence to be all that counted,I knew it didn’t.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Itold you that you couldn’t keep me away.”

He pulled me back into his embrace.“You have to stop trying looking for me,Addie. The cops probably won’t bewatching you so much anymore, but—”

“Did you know there are about 331colleges and universities in California?No one will think twice about me living inCalifornia if I’m going to school there,Charlie. You know I’d never do anythingto lead the police to you or Ben.”

“It isn’t that, Addie.”“Then what is it? Have you changed

your mind about me?”He scoffed. “You kiddin’ me? What’d

you think I’m doing here? I couldn’t hardlystand to stay away another day withoutseein’ you, even if it was from faraway.But Addie, since you met me, I’ve nearlygotten you killed a bunch of a times.Seems like the more I love you, the moredanger you’re gonna end up being in. Myinstincts were right.” He swallowed hard,pushing his forehead against mine as heclosed his eyes. “I ain’t no good for you.”

I tangled my arms around his neck andcarefully considered what to say. Briefly,I wished for the meager physical strengthto keep him captive in my room. Andwhile I didn’t think he would object much,I wanted him willingly. Still, he seemed

so certain. And it occurred to me that thewrong response could send him right outthe window and out of my life for good.

“I’m not exactly big on trustinginstinct.” I sighed, searching my head forthe right words. “But it seems like if youwant to trust your instincts, then youshould follow your first one and go withit.”

Charlie pulled away enough to gaze atme curiously. I saw the faint shadow of aCharlie smile outlining his lips, making itthat much more difficult to concentrate.

“You knew you loved me right away?And that cliché ‘always go with your gutfeeling’? You might as well go with it,

Charlie, because I’ve already made mychoice. So far I’ve been pretty good atmaking my own decisions, and I’m notchanging my mind. I understand theconsequences that come with being in yourlife, I’ll deal with them—”

“Maybe you can deal with ‘em, but Ican’t. I rather not have you and knowyou’re alive than be responsible forsomething bad happening to you.”

I pulled away, crossing my arms overmy chest to keep the pain out. Crossing tothe other side of the room, I tried to keepmy shoulder back and my neck long. Ithought if I didn’t make this threat soundlegitimate, he might call my bluff, either

way he would know how desperate I trulywas.

“There aren’t many choices here,Charlie. You can leave, not tell me whereyou’re going, but I’m just going to comeafter you. I’ll apply for a passport, go tothe port of Singapore—”

“You wouldn’t dare—”“Ben’s house is somewhere in

Healdsburg, California. If you aren’t thereand Elise and the guys don’t tell me whereyou are, I’ll just wait there until you showup. Or if I get impatient, maybe I’ll juststart exploring some ports on my own.”

“You ain’t bein’ funny,” he snarled.I turned quickly, somewhat surprised

to find him directly behind me. “I’m nottrying to be. You tried to get rid of meonce, Charlie. It won’t work a secondtime.”

He took me by the shoulders roughly,as though he were literally trying to shakethe sense into me, though I wouldn’t,couldn’t be dissuaded. I knew what Iwanted and it was right in front of me. Asfar as I was concerned, it was a donedeal.

“Stop bein’ so damn stubborn. Yourgonna ruin your life.”

“Weren’t you the one who said all ornothing? Well I want all or nothing,Charlie.” I pushed his hands back and

brushed my thumb against the new scar onhis brow. “And you’re all I want.”

Charlie leaned into my touch, and hisexpression relaxed as he closed his eyes.“You’re too much for me.”

I tried not to seem too arrogant in mysmile. “Then accept your fate.”

“Just promise me you won’t donothin’ stupid.”

“Promise me you’ll stick around.”He tensed again. “Damnit.”“Adam Harpsten is still in charge of

my case. He updates Dad constantly, andstill seems to think you were involvedsomehow. The next time you guys stealsomething, I just have to look for an

explosion within a few hundred miles—”He pulled me tighter and I could see a

smile beginning to unfold. “This isextortion.”

“I prefer ‘happy shakedown.’”Charlie smile bloomed into a full on

Charlie grin. “Nothin’ but trouble.”I planted the ski cap back on his head,

overwhelmed with the joy and relief athaving him here in my arms, his promisethat he would stay. Could I have beendreaming still?

“You know, I was just dreaming aboutyou,” I imitated.

“Oh, yeah?” He kissed my collarbone.“Yep.” I outlined the serpent with my

fingertip then kissed it.“What did you dream?”“I dreamt that we lived happily ever

after, of course.”He smiled at me skeptically but I

could see all of the love and admiration heheld for me written there on his face,sketched as clearly as anything he’d drawhimself.

“Sure.” His eyes rolled.Whatever his doubts were, I could

convince him. I would show him just likehe had shown me the other side of theworld and back. And regardless of howdifficult it was bound to be, I had nointention of giving up on him or the

feelings we harbored for each other.“Just you wait and see, Charlie Hays.”

I kissed him until we were both dizzy.“Just you wait and see.”

Acknowledgements: It might be awesome to say I did this

all on my own, but then my pants wouldspontaneously catch fire. So let me give aspecial thanks to the wonderful LimitlessPublishing team: especially JessicaGunhammer and Jennifer O’Neill—amother-daughter force to be reckonedwith! Additional thanks to my authorfriends, the bloggers, and everyone else Ispammed about this project. Without yoursupport none of this would have beenpossible.

My eternal appreciation goes to myvery patient editor Toni Rakestraw for all

of her hard work and dedication.Enormous gratitude also to Eden CraneDesigns for creating the face of Wanted,you guys are awesome.

Thank you to Karlyn Thayer whosecritiques remain a source of inspiration.

All my love to Scottie, Mom, Kyle,Grandma, Grandpa…and all the otherlovely people and dogs in my life I ignorefor my writing. Thanks for understandingand please know I make no promise forself-improvement.

About the Author A native of New Jersey and lifelong

nerd, Amanda Lance recently completedher Master in Liberal Arts at ThomasEdison State College after her BA inEnglish Literature and AFA in creativewriting. As an avid reader of all genres,some of her favorite authors includeHemingway, Marquis de Sade, Stevenson,Bukowski and Radcliffe.

When she isn’t writing or reading,Amanda can found indulging in film noiror hiking with her other half and theirextremely spoiled dog. She is obsessivelyworking on her next book and trying to

tame her caffeine addiction.”

Twitter: @alance07Website and Blog:

http://amandalance.com/Goodreads:

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/2729851-amanda-lance

Amazon Author Page: Coming Soon