ISSUE II

Homies,

As expected, 6 of us are now 0-1 and 6 of us are 1-0. I am going to wait a couple weeks before I release everyone’s luckiness, strength of schedule, and alternate schedules. Right now there just isn’t enough data to show anything significant. One thing I was interested in looking at was what point total each of us should be seeking to make the post-season. Each of us, despite winning or losing last week, are probably disappointed on some level.

HAN SHOT FIRST – Alec got the win, but his Browns players looked miserable. Ekeler didn’t look hot either.

CHEESUS CHRIST – Andre has the least to complain about. Props to Grant for drafting half that squad.

DADDY’S DARLINGS – Andy has little to complain about, but Saquon only had 6 rushing yards. That might be the best defense he faces, but if I were a team I would force Danny Pennies to beat me.

THE NOT BAD RUNNING BACKS – Chip lost Bell for who knows how long and has to use Sony Michel. That is a hell I have lived through. He also has a tight end issue. (I’ll trade you Hunter Henry)

RICHARD SHERMAN – I’m nervous for Connor. He has always been a favorite of mine, but his bench is the worst in the league. Thielen helped keep him in it, and there isn’t enough room here to mention all the weak spots.

BOOBIES – Good thing Grant got Taylor, because the Eagles line is decimated. He can’t be thrilled with his WR situation.

TUA GOOD – Wide receivers man. A good roster, but IDK if they’ll get in synch.

HEDGEHOGS – The reach for Mark Ingram is even more insane now. Melvin Gordon will be the worst RB1 in the league. He scored the most week 1, but this team will not find success with its RB situation.

TEAM NOLAN – Joe Mixon.

RUFFLES – Running back situation is a half step behind Matt. Conner is already hurt.

CASUAL KHAKIS – I’ll take players signed to the Chargers for 500 Trebek.

KI-THADI-MUNDI – I’m disappointed by all my wide receivers’ touches.

Here is what I am leading up to. As you know, 6 teams are making the playoffs this year instead of 4. Last year, the playoff teams averaged points as follows: Chip(136.8), Andre(127.6), Andy(125.1), and Ridge(121.4). Those 5th and 6th seeds would have gone to Stephen and Nick, who were both 6-7. Nick averaged 115.8 points per game while Stephen only averaged 111.3. Now 10/12 of us reached that 111 mark this week. Week 1 was one of the highest scoring weeks last year at 121 points per team. This year we averaged 122. This will be an interesting trend to follow, but I think one thing it could show is more league parity. Last year 5 people scored higher than 136 on Week 1, and that was our highest score this week.

For now, all you can do is set your lineup and grind. But this newsletter is often times a lifeline for teams with no hope. I know that is how it started when I wanted to find stats that helped support my 1-6 team 2 years ago. So, let’s enjoy our contributions from Steve, Grant, and Chip while hope still exists for all of us.

Love,

Thad TaylorDeputy Commissioner

DK AWARDS

KILLER KONG – DK scoring was pretty modest this week with nothing massive occurring. But the most important thing is not having a defense that gets 2 or fewer points and a kicker that doesn’t miss. That means no Lions or Gostkowskis. Alec was the KILLER KONG this week with 21 points. Alec averaged a killer 19.6 DK points per week last year so this was a continuation of that. 12 from a defense is something any of us would take week to week.

KIRBY KONG – This is an original iteration of the hairless kong award. I wanted to try switching it up a bit. In Super Smash Bro’s, Kirby sucks characters in and then becomes them. Here you see a pretty cute version. Despite being freeking adorable he is not the real deal. So regard this award as a very dishonorable distinction. Connor is our Kirby Kong for Week 1 and its not close. Imagine getting -9 points from your defense. It spoiled a great day from his kicker and cost him a week 1 victory. It is embarrassing and he should feel humiliated.

DIDDY KONG – I kinda don’t like how Diddy’s hands look in this picture. A little too real for me. Diddy as always is given to the player that either overperformed in DK and lost, or to underperformed and won. It answers the question, “But diddy win though?” This could have gone to either Richbart brother this week, but I am giving it to Jeffrey. Jeffrey got a league high 17% of his points this week from his DK (20) and still lost by 16. For comparison, Stephen got 5% of his points from DK (7) and outscored Jeff by 15. Your skill positions are sucking if you lose with 20 DK points.

Historical Rankings

I wanted to create a ranking that showed the composite rankings from the past 2 years as well as this year. This is a little challenging since we have a few teams that have only been here a year. And I understand that this won’t be representative of our league history entirely, but I would say our league pre PPR is how we view college football before World War II. We only care who won. It’s outdated. So congrats to Connor on his 2 prehistoric championships. Those still count, but they won’t count in our historical rankings. For this ranking, you get a point for each win, and 1.5 points for a playoff win. To give Alec and Matt a chance, I am multiplying their points by 2.

1. Andy (23.5)

2. Chip (22)

3. Andre (18.5)

4. Thad (17.5)

5. Ridge (17)

6. Matt (17)

7. Stephen (16)

8. Grant (14)

9. Nick (13.5)

10. Jeffrey (13)

11. Connor (12.5)

12. Alec (12)

Grant’s Gambling Gazebo

Hello beautiful people, I hope when you read this, it finds you doing well. Week 1 was awesome. It felt great to watch 8 hours straight of football. My Week 1 picks went 8-8 (50%), which isn’t great, but it’s not bad either. I didn’t lose money, but I didn’t make money. Kind of like Tyrod Taylor won’t win you games, but he won’t lose you them either.

Season Totals: 8-8 (50%)

Week 2 Picks

Bengals (+6) at Browns

This is a tough one to pick. The Browns looked God awful, really shitty (no pun intended). The Bengals should’ve won their game, but their o-line is terrible. Bobby Hart might be the worst OT in the NFL. I’m banking on Myles Garret having a field day and the Browns not being as shitty as they seem. Browns -6

Bills (-5.5) at Dolphins

The Bills looked really good, granted it was the Jets. The Dolphins kept the Pats game close, but Fitzpatrick’s 3 interceptions really hurt them. The Bills racked up some injuries. I hope Devantae Parker can play. Assuming he does, I’ll take the Dolphins and the points at home. Dolphins +5.5

Grant’s Gambling Gazebo

49ers (-7) at Jets

The Jets fucking suck. 49ers -7

Broncos (+6.5) at Steelers

I think this will be a defensive battle and a low scoring game. I’ll take the Broncos +6.5

Giants (+5.5) at Bears

The Bears should’ve lost last week. I still don’t trust Mitch. Giants +5.5

Jaguars (+9.5) at Titans

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the Jags looked good last week. I think everyone was shocked. This pick is a complete overreaction. Jags +9.5

Lions (+6) at Packers

The Lions should’ve won last week. The Packers looked great. The Lions secondary is bad, really bad. The Packers defense is bad, really bad. It’s really hard to bet against Aaron Rodgers, but Matt Patricia might get fired if he doesn’t win. Lions +6

Vikings (+3) at Colts

Phil Rivers is old. The Colts lost to the Jags. Vikings +3

Rams (-1.5) at Eagles

The Eagles blew a 17 point lead, and their o-line looked horrible. Carson Wentz might not be good. Rams -1.5

Grant’s Gambling Gazebo

Panthers (+9) at Buccaneers

This Panthers defense is horrible. Their offense will put up some points. Tom Brady looked old as crap. Nine points is a lot, but I think Bruce and Tom figure it out this week. Bucs -9

Falcons (+5) at Cowboys

Falcons are bad. Dan Quinn might be the first coach fired. Cowboys -5

Washington (+6.5) at Cardinals

I’m a believer in the Cardinals. They’re the better team. Cardinals -6.5

Chiefs (-8.5) at Chargers

I’m taking the Chiefs all the way. LA doesn’t have the fire power on offense to keep up. Chiefs -8.5

Ravens (-6.5) at Texans

Same reasoning as above. Ravens -6.5

Patriots (+4.5) at Seahawks

This game will be a low scoring, grind it out type. The fact there will be no fans helps the Pats a lot. Anytime Bill gets points in his favor, I think you have to take it. Pats +4.5

Saints (-5.5) at Raiders

Saints -5.5 easy.

Keeping Up with the Keepers

· I think I will just focus on a couple players each week and see if I can track their journey in the 3 years of the HuntingTen Homies. This week I’m looking at some running backs.

Kareem Hunt –

Team Nolan drafted Hunt his rookie year. We don’t have the data to back it up as that was 2017 and our data only goes back to 2018, but I know that this is the case because I lived with Team Nolan at the time and was so upset after Spencer Ware got injured. I don’t necessarily know who drafted Spencer Ware, but I am almost positive Ware was a top 25 pick. Hunt was then cut by the Chiefs the next year after playing 11 games (while a member of Alvin and the Nose Rings). The following year he was resigned as a brown and taken by Team Nolan in the 9th round. He played 8 games as a Brown due to a suspension. In the 2020 draft Hunt was selected by (guess who?) Team Nolan in the 5th round.

Keeping Up with the Keepers

James Conner –

James Conner started to make noise in 2018 after Le’Veon Bell held out for a new contract. He wasn’t drafted and was picked up by Casual Khakis for a couple games then traded to Big Boobie Guy for Chris Carson and Aaron Rodgers. He was then kept by Big Boobie Guy into the 2019 season where he was injured. He was drafted in 2020 and is now on Ruffles have Ridges and guess what he is injured.

FUN FACT:

Big Boobie Guy, in 2018, had a team of Patrick Mahomes, Derrick Henry, James Connor, Dalvin Cook, AJ Green, Jarvis Laundry, and Tyler Lockett

MATCHUP BREAKDOWN

Notes from contributors

Well 3-3 is not a losing record. Before I get onto the picks, I want to share some trends I noticed through week 1.

Trends:

· 8/12 teams had a QB score 20 or more points those teams went 3-5

· 3 of the top 5 scoring teams in Week 1 finished in the bottom 6 teams last year

· 5 people started a player that scored more than 30 points they finished the week 4-1

· The team with the higher scoring bench went 4-2 in week 1

--- Stephen

What’s up everyone, hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. Today we got the news that the Big 10 is back, which I would say is pretty cool. Just a few more teams for UNC to kick the crap out of on its way to the natty.

We also have Week 2 of fantasy football. In week one, I went 3-3. Not bad, not good. And my team lost. So overall not a good week for me. But nevertheless, we persist. This week, I have a better understanding of how players are going to perform (probably) so it should be better. Fingers crossed.

RANDOM PREDICTION – West Ham United are getting relegated from the Premier League this year. I know it’s the wrong kind of football, but they STINK and they are horribly run. It’s essentially the English version of the Washington Football Team.  

--- CHIP

Richard ShermanKi-Thadi-Mundi

RIVALRY GRADE:

C

0-1 (9th place)0-1 (10th place)

Breakdown: Connor and Thad have played 3 times, and Connor has lost all 3 matchups. These teams have been in the proximity of each other in the post season but haven’t met. The roommate factor and smack talk elevate this rivalry a level for me. Each of Thad’s wins have been by 20 points or more.

Richard Sherman (-0.3) vs Master Ki-Thadi-Mundi

· One of two battles of completely defeated teams. It is also projected to be a close match. Richard Sherman has a projected advantage in every position except RB and D/ST (Sherman is currently starting a defense that scored -9 last week). I am really not sure about this game, but I am going with what seem like easier matchups for skill players and lean Sherman.

Pick: Richard Sherman (-0.3)

Richard Sherman (0-1) v. Master Ki-Thadi Mundi (0-1)

ESPN Prediction – Richard Sherman (-.3)

Hmmm… this matchup really could go either way. Neither team played to its potential in the first week, so I don’t think it’s fair to assess this matchup off what happened. I like Connor in the wide receiver battle, but Thad in the running back battle. Connor has the better QB, I’d say, but I’m going to go with Thad this week around. Carson Wentz needs to stop playing like Mike Wentz if this prediction is going to come true.

Winner – Master Ki-Thadi Mundi

Daddy’s DarlingsBoobies

RIVALRY GRADE:

B-

1-0 (4th place)0-1 (11th place)

Breakdown: Andy have Grant have three games of history between them, and they have been all over the place. The first game was won by Andy by 1.1 points, and Grant won the most recent by a solid 17. It’s the one in-between that Andy won by 118 points that is dumbfounding. Andy’s 228 points in week 12 of 2018 vs Grant is the highest total ever.

Daddy’s Darlings (-7.6) vs Big Boobie Guy

· It is so hard to pick against the top two RBs in fantasy, even when Saquon is coming of a week of not topping 10 yards on the ground. Big Boobie Guy is coming of a disappointing week and sadly I think he starts the year of 0-2.

Pick: Daddy’s Darlings (-7.6)

Daddy’s Darlings (1-0) v. Big Boobie Guy (0-1)

ESPN Prediction – Daddy’s Darlings (-7.6)

Grant had to have been ecstatic about Cam’s performance last week. Man did not miss a step and is now with the best coach ever. Hate to see it really. I’m sure he’s also ecstatic about how it bodes for his fantasy team going forward. I don’t think it really matters this week tbh, because Andy’s team is just unfair. His bench is better than my starting lineup. Makes me sad. I’m taking Andy because having Russell Wilson, CMC and Saquon on a team is not fair.

 

Winner – Daddy’s Darlings

Han Shot FirstCasual Khakis

RIVALRY GRADE:

D-

1-0 (5th place)1-0 (2nd place)

Breakdown: With only one game between these two, we don’t have much to go off of. Stephen has won their only matchup, and it was by a whopping 50 points. They are both looking pretty good through one week, but I’d bet Alec will be saying there’s no way he will win at about 1 pm on Sunday.

Mos Eisley Han Shot First vs Casual Khakis (-0.2)

· One of two battles of undefeated teams. It is projected to be a close one so basically a pick’em. Both these teams scored 130+ in week 1. I have gone back and forth on this matchup, but after reviewing matchups I am going to side with Mos Eisley.

Pick: Mos Eisley Han Shot First (+0.2)

GAME OF THE WEEK

Mos Eisley Han Shot First (1-0) v. Casual Khakis (1-0)

ESPN Prediction – Casual Khakis(-.2)

The reason this is our Game of the Week is because it has the smallest margin of victory and it features two undefeated teams. I’ll be honest, I thought Alec’s team lost last week. Evidently they did not and that is because of 5’9 Kyler Whale (what kind of a team name was that anyway). This one is a tough call. Stephen swapped out Tyrod for Jimmy G… which is enough for me to give him the win this week. Jimmy G apparently gave a porn star the night of her life one night. That has to mean something.

In seriousness, Stephen’s receiver core and running backs are lethal. Not to say Alec’s aren’t good because they are, but Stephen’s are borderline elite. That pushes him over the edge for me.

Winner – Casual Khakis

Not Bad Team Nolan

Running Backs

RIVALRY GRADE:

B-

0-1 (8th place)1-0 (3rd place)

Breakdown: Chip is 2-1 against Nick with his only loss coming in 2018 by just 3 points. Of course beating Nick is not an accomplishment, especially 2 years ago when he finished last. Why a B-? 2/3 matchups have been decided by 5 points or less. We don’t have many high level rivalries.

The Not Bad Running Backs vs Team Nolan (-3.3)

· Team Nolan got boosted by a 41-point game from Davante Adams but had no other person on his team score more than 18 points but only 2 positions did not score double digits. The Running Backs lost Le’Veon Bell and lots of questionables on the bench. I like Team Nolan to start 2-0.

Pick: Team Nolan (-3.3)

The Not Bad Running Backs (0-1) v. Team Nolan (1-0)

ESPN Prediction – Team Nolan (-3.3)

My team name is deceptive because my running backs STINK. Shoutout Le’veon, what a scrub. Nick’s team was carried by the insane performance by Davante Adams last week. With that said, his team looks pretty stinkin’ good. Tyreek is insane and Joe Mixon is probably going to stomp all over Cleveland like LeBron did when he went to Miami. But I have a feeling my team is going to get it together this week. New acquisition Cam Akers is going to carry me to a win. Doubt it, but what do we have if not optimism?

Winner – The Not Bad Running Backs

Tua Good Ruffles Have Ridges

RIVALRY GRADE:

C-

0-1 (7th place)0-1 (12th place)

Breakdown: Consistently underachieving in the regular season. Jeffrey, while having had 2 of the best keepers in the league hasn’t been able to get over the hump. Ridge has finished 7-6 the past 2 years which has been just good enough to make the playoffs, but hasn’t been able to get a good enough seed to advance the way he wants. Here they are again at 0-1.

Tua Good Tua Be True vs Ruffles Have Ridges (~-2)

· Ruffles Have Ridges has no defense at the moment, so I added the top projected to the score making Ruffles a slight favorite. I think this matchup may be a low scoring affair. Tua lost Michael Thomas and Ruffles has many questionables and is struggling to find a RB2.

Pick: Tua Good Tua Be True (+2)

Tua Good Tua Be True (0-1) v. Ruffles Have Ridges (0-1)

ESPN Prediction – Tua Good Tua Be True (-4.8)

Is Josh Allen a good QB? That’s the question that is going to help guide me to this prediction. My answer is I don’t know, but I do know that he’s probably going to do well against Miami’s defense. That, coupled with Zeke’s new tummy tattoo and the amount of potentially injured players on Ridge’s team has me thinking this is Jeffrey’s week.

 

Winner – Tua Good Tua Be True

Cheesus ChristHedgehogs

RIVALRY GRADE:

D+

1-0 (6th place)1-0 (1st place)

Breakdown: Andre beat Matt by 61 points in their only meeting. Andre has made the most of his team so far, despite it only being one week. Matt had a good week, but has some weak performing players. Last year Matt only averaged 109 points, and I’d expect to see a return to form.

Cheesus Christ (-13) vs Huntington Hedgehogs

· The other matchup of undefeated teams. I am shocked that The Hedgehogs was the top scoring team in the league. I am not betting on the same output this week and will take Cheesus Christ.

Pick: Cheesus Christ (-13)

Cheesus Christ (1-0) v. Huntington Hedgehogs (1-0)

ESPN Prediction – Cheesus Christ (-13)

This matchup of the undefeateds also has the largest difference between the two sides. I didn’t realize Matt had Mahomes and Aaron Rodgers. Mad respect. The only way he beats Andre this week is if he plays both of them. That may be a bit much, but Andre’s team is very good and I think they probably get the job done for a second week in a row.

 

Winner – Cheesus Christ

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