Chapter 1: The Organization of the Paragraph

Copyright © 2011

Most students write like they talk or text. That is, one sentence at a time without much of an idea of where they are going with their essay or how the essay is put together.

After receiving an essay assignment, they decide what they’re going to write about – say global warming, the current recession, or why they are in college; then (after finding out how long their professor says their essay must be!) they put together one sentence after another, grinding away, until they reach the required minimum number of pages. That’s it.

Writing one sentence after another is doubly harmful. First, it’s no fun; producing the required number of pages is like sweating bricks; and second, the result is not likely to be very good, resulting in a bad grade. Some reward!

A far better way is to organize an essay and let that organization guide the writing; it’s a bit like letting Google Maps guide you to a destination in a new city.

(Boopsie of the Doonesbury Comic Strip checks for directions to the Google Headquarters)http://

www.doonesbury.c

om/

“Google Maps answers Boopsie’s question.“Now I have a plan!”

Hey Google Maps: “How do I do I get to the Google Headquarters from Hwy 101?”

The Paragraph

Let’s start with the basic form of the essay – the paragraph. A paragraph is a group of sentences that work together to make a point. A good paragraph has three parts: the Topic Sentence, the body or the Support Sentences that provide evidence for the Topic Sentence, and the Conclusion. We’ll review them, one at a time.

The Topic Sentence

Most students know they are writing about a Topic (say, college or politics), but far fewer know about the equally important part of the Topic Sentence – what writers call the Main Idea. The Main Idea is what you will prove about the Topic in your paragraph or essay, and is essential to good writing.

It’s very important that the Topic Sentence have not only what you are writing about (the Topic), but also what you will prove about your topic (the Main Idea).

Let’s look at some examples of Topic Sentences. In the examples, the topics are underlined and the Main Ideas are in bold type.

Topic Sentence 1:

Topic Main IdeaComputerized special effects bring to the screen scenes that never could have been shown before.

Topic Sentence 2:

Topic Main IdeaMy goals in taking an English class are to gain a better understanding of grammar, become competent at writing essays, and become confident in my ability to write papers and communicate a point to a reader.

Topic Sentence 3:

Topic Main IdeaCapital Punishment should be abolished.

Topic Sentence 4:

Main Idea TopicThe three most compelling reasons why capital punishment should be abolished are because the death penalty fails to deter crime, the death penalty is used unjustly against certain groups and sometime even against the innocent, and because the death penalty opposes the very values and ideals that America espouses to be most important.

A good Topic Sentence has two characteristics:

1. It’s forcefully stated. (When you’re writing, it’s not the time to be shy and retiring; get up and tell it like it is!)

2. It’s clearly written. (Your readers should have no trouble in understanding what you will prove in your essay.)

Of course, the first draft of the Topic Sentence need not get it just right; the goal is to get the Topic and Main Idea (what you will prove about your topic) on paper. For example, here’s a polished draft of a Topic Sentence:

The three most compelling reasons why capital punishment should be abolished are because the death penalty fails to deter crime, the death penalty is used unjustly against certain groups and sometime even

against the innocent, and because the death penalty opposes the very values and ideals that America espouses to be most important.

In the first draft, however, the writer might have just put his ideas out there: Capital punishment should not be allowed.

A Topic Sentence can take a variety of forms; however, here is one form that you want to avoid:

Incorrect In this essay, I’m going to write about going back to college.

The above sentence is not a Topic Sentence because it has no Main Idea. The writer only announces what he will write about. Here is what the sentence would look like if we add a Main Idea:

Correct Going back to college is stressful.

Practice 1 Identifying the parts of the Topic SentenceIn the following Topic Sentences, underline the Topic and put the Main Idea in bold type. (If using a printed copy, double underline the Main Idea.

1. Going back to college is stressful.

2. College football players should be paid to play.

3. Americans are overly busy.

4. Writing need not be like pulling teeth.

5. There are several reasons why I returned to college.

6. The college should have day care services for its students.

7. It’s important that we make the transition to electric cars.

8. The U.S. should not be fighting in Iraq.

9. Marijuana and alcohol are two drugs with very different effects.

10. The Civil War was fought for three main reasons.

Two Types of Topic Sentences

There are two types of Topic Sentences. The first states the Topic and a summary of the Main idea. Here are some examples:

Capital punishment should be abolished.

It’s important that we make the transition to electric cars.

The college should have day care services for its students.

The second type of Topic Sentence actually lists the three or so main support points that will prove the Main Idea of the Topic Sentence. For example:

The Topic Sentence: “Capital punishment should be abolished” could be written as:

The three most compelling reasons why capital punishment should be abolished are because the death penalty fails to deter crime, the death penalty is used unjustly against certain groups and sometime even against the innocent, and because the death penalty opposes the very values and ideals that America espouses to be most important.

The Topic Sentence: “It’s important that we make the transition to electric cars” could be written as:

We should transition to electric cars to protect the environment, to reduce our dependence on foreign sources of energy, and to save money.

The Topic Sentence: “The college should have day care services for its students” could be written as:The college should have day care services for its students because a growing number of our students are also parents, we can use the child care service as a way to introduce an early childhood education certificate program at the college, and students who are not parents could broaden their education.

Either kind of Topic Sentence is fine. It’s up to you!

In many paragraphs, the Topic Sentence is written first, so the reader will know what the paragraph is about from the start. However, as you’ll discover in college textbooks, there are many exceptions. For the writing in this class, put the Topic Sentence first. It’s all about clear communication with the reader.

Support Sentences

Going hand-in-hand with the Topic Sentence in writing are the Support Sentences. The Support Sentences provide the evidence that proves the Main Idea about the Topic. That’s why in the chapter on Prewriting, we not only will learn to generate a Topic Sentence, but also three Support points. Here are some examples:

Topic Sentence: Capital punishment should be abolished.

Support 1: fails to stop crime, Support 2: unjust against certain groups Support 3: against our values and ideals

Topic Sentence: The college should have child care services for its students a growing number of our, we can use the child care service as a way to introduce an early childhood education certificate program at the

college, and students who are not parents could broaden their education.

Support 1: students are also parents Support 2: early childhood education certificate programSupport 3: students who are not parents could broaden their education

The Topic Sentence and three Support Points make up an Informal Outline, which serves to guide your writing. The Informal Outline need not be a polished draft; just get the main point on paper so you understand them and they can serve to guide your writing like Google Maps guides you to your destination.

In drafting your paragraph, you convert your Support Points into Support Sentences that prove your Main Idea. It’s like you’re a lawyer: your client is your Topic, and proving that your client is innocent is your Main Idea. What are the Support Points? They are the evidence you use to prove your client’s innocence!

A lawyer uses “evidence” to prove her client’s innocence.(http://www.flickr.com/photos/carmacks/3545282954/)

For example, as a lawyer, you might use the following Informal Outline:

Topic Sentence: My client is innocent of the robbery at the 7-11 store.

Support 1: finger printsSupport 2: witnessesSupport 3: video evidence

Of course, it’s not enough to tell the judge and jury you have finger prints, witnesses, and video evidence showing that your client is innocent of the robbery at the 7-11 store. You must also produce the details of the evidence. You need to show the finger prints left at the scene of the crime and compare those to your client’s finger prints; you need to interview your witnesses on the stand where they can testify that your client was not at the scene of the crime at the time of the robbery; and you need to show the judge and jury the video taken in the 7-11 during the robbery, showing that the fellow committing the robbery looks nothing like your client! Now you have the evidence to get your client off!

It’s the same in writing. Instead of having a client, you have a Topic; instead of proving your client’s innocence, you prove your Main Idea about the Topic; and instead of evidence like finger prints, witnesses, and video, in writing you use support (examples, quotes, and statistics) to prove your Main Idea.

Caught on Video Tape!

Practice 2 The Informal OutlineUse the following Topic Sentences to develop three General Support Points that make up an Informal Outline that could be used to guide your writing

Example:

Topic Sentence: I learned valuable lessons from my older brother.

Support Point 1: don’t give up when things go wrongSupport Point 2: know when to stand up for myselfSupport Point 3: importance of family

1. Having children is a life changing decision.

Support Point 1: Support Point 2: Support Point 3:

2. You have to be careful when buying a car.

Support Point 1: Support Point 2: Support Point 3:

3. High school was difficult for me.

Support Point 1: Support Point 2: Support Point 3:

4. (….) is my favorite city because …. (choose your favorite city and give three reasons why)

Support Point 1: Support Point 2: Support Point 3:

5. Owning a home has advantages over renting (or you can switch the two).

Support Point 1: Support Point 2: Support Point 3:

General and Specific Support

There are two kinds of support: General Support and Specific Support. General Support gives the general category of the support. In the case of a lawyer, the general category might be witnesses. The same applies to writing. Let’s take an earlier example:

Topic Sentence: Capital punishment should be abolished.

Support 1: fails to stop crime, Support 2: unjust against certain groups Support 3: against our values and ideals

The first General Support sentence might be: “Capital punishment fails to stop crime.” As with the lawyer, you cannot expect the reader or judge to believe you if you just write, “Capital punishment fails to stop crime.” You also need the proof – the detailed evidence (examples, quotes, and/or statistics) that you can show to the reader that prove that “Capital punishment fails to stop crime.” This detailed evidence is what writers call Specific Support.

Using your Informal Outline as a guide, you can write a draft of your paragraph by combining your Topic Sentence with General and Specific Support Sentences. Here’s an example:

Informal Outline

Topic Sentence: There were good reasons why cage diving to view the Great White Sharks has not caught on at the islands fifty miles off the California coast.

Support Point 1: The weather is nastySupport Point 2: Underwater visibility is badSupport Point 3: The waves make people seasick

Here’s a draft of a paragraph that combines the Topic Sentence with General and Specific Support Sentences, using the Informal Outline above (The Topic Sentence is underlined; the General Support Sentences are in blue type, and the Specific Support Sentences are in red type):

[TOPIC SENTENCE]: There were good reasons why cage diving to view the Great White Sharks has not caught on at the islands. [GENERAL SUPPORT 1]: The weather is often nasty; [SPECIFIC SUPPORT 1]: the water temperature hovers around fifty-two degrees. A cold mist often rises from the water, settling over the boat like a cold, damp blanket. [GENERAL SUPPORT 2]: Underwater visibility is scant—and that’s on a good day. [SPECIFIC SUPPORT 2]: On a typical day, a client paying the better part of a G-note might see the blurry outline of a shark pass by the cage—if there isn’t too much plankton clogging up the visibility. There were days when the tourists struck out entirely, when the sharks stayed hidden and all the shivering divers saw from their cage was a murky emerald world. [GENERAL SUPPORT 3]: The choppy water makes being seasick a serious problem. [SPECIFIC SUPPORT 3]: When the tourists returned to the boat, they would get tossed around like dice in a cup. More than half of them clustered along the back railing of the boat, their sheet-white faces drooping with misery.

Notice that the Support Sentences start with a general statement about the category of support and then give detailed examples that communicate, or bring to life, the support to the reader, even if he or she has never been on a boat looking for white sharks in the Pacific! Those details are the Specific Support.

(Notice also that the General Support Sentences come directly from the three categories of Support that make up the Informal Outline.)

Here’s another example paragraph.

Informal OutlineTopic Sentence: The great white shark has great size and power

Support Point 1: amazingly wide!Support Point 2: great size and powerSupport Point 3: destroying a surf board

[TOPIC SENTENCE]: The thing I noticed about the great white shark was its immense size and power. [GENERAL SUPPORT 1]: I suppose I had known, intellectually, anyway, that a white shark might be as long as a whaler, but I didn’t expect it to be as wide as the boat too. [SPECIFIC SUPPORT 1]: Here, for context, are some measurements: a twenty-foot white shark is eight feet wide and six feet deep. That’s wider than a Suburban, as wide as a Mack truck. That’s wider than Yao Ming is tall. [GENERAL SUPPORT 2]: “Stumpy”, a female white known for her hunting skills, has amazing size and power. [SPECIFIC SUPPORT 2]: She was nineteen feet long and weighed five thousand pounds. Using rows of three inch long, razor sharp teeth and a mouth that could extend a full five feet high, she could polish off a five-hundred pound elephant seal in three minutes flat. [GENERAL SUPPORT 3]: In a BBC documentary a camera caught Stumpy attacking a surf board. [SPECIFIC SUPPORT 3]: During the first furious hit, the board snapped in two and shot 20 feet into the air, and as the camera recorded the wreckage, Stumpy resurfaced and gave the bobbling pieces a fierce backhand with her tail, before swimming off grumpily in search of real food.

Casey, Susan, The Devil’s Teeth A True Story of Obsession and Survival Among America’s Great White Sharks, Henry Holt and Company, 2005

A 25 foot Great White clears the water to snag a 300 pound seal.

Video of the great white shark: Click Here

Madi Steward, an 18 year-old Australian girl who plays with sharks, gives a non media-hyped view of sharks: (Click Here).

Casey, Susan, The Devil’s Teeth: A True Story of Obsession and Survival Among America’s Great White Sharks, Henry Holt and Company, 2005

When you’re writing Support Sentences, think detail. If you stick with general sentences without detail – what I call being stuck in the “the land of the general” – you’ll have trouble filling the space on the page, and you won’t have much fun. What’s more: your essay will not be very good. But if you use your Informal Outline to go straight to an example with detail, the essay will almost write itself.

Transition Words and Phrases

1. Transition Words and Phrases Signaling General Support Points

As you move from support point to support point in your paragraph, it’s a good idea to use Transition Words to help your reader follow your essay and understand what she is reading. There are certain transition words and phrases used to signal General Support and other words and phrases signal Specific Support. The method most often used as transition in General Support

is simply numbering your points, first, second, third, and so on. Here’s an example:

General Support Sentence: My first goal is to gain a better understanding of grammar.

[OR]

General Support Sentence: First, I want to gain a better understanding of grammar.

A second method, which can be mixed and matched with the number method, is to use a variety of words that signal a change in support. Here are some examples:

General Support Sentence: In addition, modern digital technology has created effects that would have been too expensive or too difficult to create in the studio.

[OR]

General Support Sentence: Finally, modern digital technology has created effects that would have been too expensive or too difficult to create in the studio.

[OR]

General Support Sentence: Furthermore, modern digital technology has created effects that would have been too expensive or too difficult to create in the studio.

[OR]

General Support Sentence: Most important, modern digital technology has created effects that would have been too expensive or too difficult to create in the studio.

2. Transition Words that Signal Specific Support Points

Just as you have transition words and phrases that signal General Support, you have different words and phrases that signal Specific Support.

Here are some words and phrases that signal Specific Support:

for example for instance specifically to illustrate in particular

Specific Support Sentence: For example, a study published in USA Today reported that “the average 2008 murder rate in the states with the death penalty was 56% higher than in states without” (BNET).

[OR]

Specific Support Sentence: In fact, “a 2007 study…conducted by Yale University School of Law revealed that African-American defendants receive the death penalty at three times the rate of white defendants in cases where the victims are white” (Amnesty International).

While you don’t need to include transition words before each and every support point, you should include enough to make sure your reader is following your argument. The rule is: when in doubt, err in favor of the reader – use a transition word or phrase.

Practice 3 Paragraph Organization

In the following paragraph, identify the organizational structure according to the following code:

Underline the Topic Sentence for the paragraphPut the General Support Sentences in blue type.Put (Parentheses) around the transitions words or phrases signaling General SupportPut the Specific Support (Detail) Sentences in red type.Put [Brackets] around the transitions words or phrases signaling Specific SupportPut the Conclusion in Green Type

Computer Special Effects

Computerized special effects now bring to the screen scenes that never could have been shown before. Films can show disasters, re-create the past, or create the future. For example, entire cities can be shown as they might exist in the future, as in the movie, The Dark Knight. Christian Bale, who plays the lead role, stares out at what seems to be the mythical city of Gotham, a scene generated entirely by computer. Films can also make animation seem like the real world. In the movie, WALL-E, the animated robot cleans garbage in a ruined city, which because of the computer, seems to move seamlessly between reality and fantasy. In addition, modern digital technology has created effects that would have been too expensive or too difficult to create in the studio. In the movie Titanic, for example, computerized special effects showed the Titanic, a cruise ship that was almost nine football fields in length, as it was about to launch, and as it sank. Computer special effects have taken what movies can show to a new level. In the future, special effects may even blur the line between what the audience believes to be real and what is actually real.

Computer imaging of the Titanic in portwww.titanicmovie.com

(Bonus Question: How did Harry Harryhausen, the famous special effects artist of the 1950s and 60s, complete the “Skeleton Fight” without the use of computers in the movie, Jason and the Argonauts?)

The skeletons go on the attack in the 1963 movie Jason and the Argonautshttp://filmsnobbery.com/files/2010/12/JasonSkeletons.jpg

YouTube Link to the “Skeleton Fight” in 1963 movie, Jason and the Argonauts (Click Here)

Did you identify the last two sentences as the Conclusion? If so, you’re correct. We’ll learn more about the Conclusion when we switch from the paragraph to the essay. The Conclusion has two jobs:

1. It restates the Topic Sentence in different words

Here is the Topic Sentence that appears at the beginning of the practice paragraph: “Computerized special effects now bring to the screen scenes that never could have been shown before.”

Now, here is the Conclusion that restates the Topic Sentence in different words that appears near the end of the paragraph: “Computer special effects have taken what movies can show to a new level.”

Do you see how the sentence in the Conclusion just restates the Topic Sentence in different words?

2. The Conclusion takes the reader a step further.Here is the part of the Conclusion in the paragraph that takes the reader a step further:

“In the future, special effects may even blur the line between what the audience believes to be real and what is actually real.” You know it’s a step further because the future is not part of the Topic Sentence or the Support in the paragraph!

The Introduction

The Introduction has two goals:

1. to get the readers’ interest; and 2. to set the background or context for the essay.

Simple paragraphs do not need an Introduction, but the more complicated the paragraph, the more important it is that you have an Introduction. We’ll discuss the Introduction in detail in Chapter 13, but let’s consider one example provided in the paragraph on Computer Special Effects. If we add an Introduction, the first sentence of the paragraph would take the following form (the Introduction is in Italics):

“Have you ever wondered how today’s blockbuster movies of incredible scenes and special effects are made?”

Asking a question is a great way of getting the readers’ interest, and drawing the connection between computer special effects and movies sets the context or background for the paragraph.

Taken as a whole, here are the five major parts to the paragraph:

Paragraph Organization

1. Introductiona. Gets the readers’ interestb. Sets the context for the paragraph (provides background)

2. Topic Sentence a. Topic or subject of the paragraphb. Main Idea (what you will prove or provide support for in the

paragraph/essay3. Support Sentences

a. General Supportb. Specific Support with details

4. Conclusiona. Restates the Main Idea (what you have proved in the

paragraph) in different wordsb. Take readers a step further

Practice 4 Paragraph Organization In the following paragraph, identify the organizational structure according to the following code:

Put the Introduction in ItalicsUnderline the Topic Sentence for the paragraphPut the General Support Sentences in blue type.Put (Parentheses) around the transitions words or phrases signaling General Support.Put the Supporting Detail Sentences in red type.

Put [Brackets] around the transitions words or phrases signaling Specific Support.Put the Conclusion in green type.

How to Succeed in College

College is one of the hardest things a person needs to go through if he wants to succeed in life. However, before I start thinking about succeeding in any job, I must first put my attention into succeeding in college. One way is by going to every class on time. My friend is of average intelligence, but because he wanted to do well in college, he went to class all the time and is passing with a 3.0 GPA. Another way I can succeed in college is by doing my homework. I know that by doing all my homework, I’ll do well on exams. For example, my most difficult class is College Algebra. From day one, I made up my mind to complete all my homework for each class. That way I have been able to keep up with the material, even scoring an “A” on the last test! Last, but not least, participating in class is an essential. I want to show the teacher that I want to learn. I know that if I make it interesting for the instructor, he/she will probably want to take me a step further. That’s why I sit in the front row of the class; why I attempt to answer questions asked by my professor; and why I stay after class to ask any questions about things I don’t understand. Clearly if I’m going to succeed in college, I have to go to all my classes, complete all the homework, and show my professor that I really want to learn. I figure that I’m already paying the tuition and taking time away from my family, so being committed to success in college is the least I can do for myself and my future.

Practice 5 Paragraph Organization In the following paragraph, identify the organizational structure according to the following code:

Underline the Topic Sentence for the paragraphPut the General Support Sentences in blue type.Put (Parentheses) around the transitions words or phrases signaling General SupportPut the Specific Support (Detail) Sentences in red type.

Put [Brackets] around the transitions words or phrases signaling Specific SupportPut the Conclusion in Green Type

The Effects of not Getting Enough Sleep 

Do you find yourself getting tired during the day or just not having any energy? This could be because you are not getting a good night’s sleep. Sleep is essential for normal actions during the day and can cause serious health risks. The first effect of not getting enough sleep is being tired during the day.  You may find yourself dozing off a little whether it’s at school or work or just sitting at home.  This is common among people, mostly teenagers who think they can stay up late and still be able to function adequately during the day.  You can also get sick from not getting enough sleep.  You may find yourself with a cold that you just can’t seem to get rid of.  Your body is able to fight away the virus while you are sleeping, so colds and the flu do not last as long and are not as severe. The third reason sleep is essential is because without adequate sleep, you will have less energy and focus during the day.  You won’t be able to give whatever you’re doing your full potential.  This is especially important for people who depend on themselves to do a job right. Engineers building a new bridge, police in a high speed chase, or a nurse checking a patient all will perform their jobs better with adequate sleep. Any way you look at it, it is imperative that you get good night’s sleep, so you will be able to function properly. Your life and health could depend on it.

Steps in the Writing Process

Writing is a process; it takes work, lots of work. The best way, and for most people the only way, to write an effective essay is to carefully follow a series of steps, producing multiple drafts that slowly build quality. In Practice 6, you’ll be writing your own paragraph. In doing so, take it one step at a time, like following directions to a distant city or a recipe to make an excellent dinner. Here are the steps in writing a Paragraph:

1. Prewriting

2. Drafting

3. Revise for organization(draft 2)

4. Revising for style(draft 3)

5. Editing(draft 4)

Choose a Topic for your essay – what you will be writing about.Develop a Topic Sentence – what you will prove about the Topic). Put together an Informal Outline containing your Thesis Statement and three main Support Points.

Following the “Organization of the Essay,” write your first draft.

Review and revise your draft to make sure that the organization of your essay is sound and follows your Informal Outline

Revise your essay for the flow and readability of the sentences – (see Chapter 11 on Style)

Review and revise your essay to make sure you get the grammar and punctuation right (see_Grammar, Spelling, and Punctuation Checklist).

Practice 6 Writing your own Paragraph-Essay

Use the following steps to complete a one-paragraph essay of about half a page in length.

Step 1: Choose one of the following topics:

A time I learned from a mistake A time I was in danger The qualities I want in a friend My first job was … (fill in the Main Idea you will prove about your first

job (it was wonderful, awful, a learning experience…)

Step 2: Put together an Informal Outline, that has the following organizational pattern:

Topic Sentence (your Topic + your Main Idea – what you will prove about the Topic):

Support Point 1: Support Point 2: Support Point 3:

Step 3: Using your Informal Outline as guide, draft a paragraph that starts with the Topic Sentence, then goes to the General Support Points, and then to specific examples with detail. Make sure you also have a Conclusion that restates your Topic Sentence in different words and takes the reader a step further. Use the “Organization of the Paragraph” as your guide.

Make sure to include a heading with your name, date, course information, and assignment in the upper left corner of the essay!

Here’s how to format your essays: At the opening of your essay, single space your name, the course, date and something that identifies which assignment it is (Narrative Essay for example) in the upper left hand corner. You will need a title. Capitalize the first letter in each word of your title (except for a, the, at, of, in and to unless one of these words begins the title). Center the title above the essay. Also, make sure to double-space the text of the essay (Use ctrl-A, then ctrl-2). Put your essay is in 12 point type with 1 inch margins.

Step 4. Complete the following Grammar Checklist by checking carefully for each type of error in your essay. Correct the errors and place an “X” by each type of error you checked for. Attach the Grammar Checklist in a separate file with your essay.

Grammar Checklist

1. ____  Spelling (Use the spell check on your computer)  ____  Spelled as one word instead of two!

Anyone AnythingSomeone EverybodyAnybody WheneverSomebody Cannot

2. Fragments  _____  Make sure you have a subject and a verb in all your sentences; otherwise

the word group is a fragment. Here are some examples:

Fragment: Getting to class on time.Sentence: Getting to class on time has been a problem for me.

Fragment: When I knew he was there.Sentence: When I knew he was there, I dropped off the contract.

Fragment: Such as the games that are on-line. Sentence: There are many video games that I play, such as the games that are

on-line.

Fragment: When she arrived at class after the bus had dropped her off. Sentence:  She arrived at class after the bus had dropped her off. 

3. Run-ons

_____  Run-ons are caused by combining two full sentences, each with a subject and verb and no conjunction, into one sentence using a comma or no punctuation. You can correct a run-on by:

Run-on: She arrived at class the bus had dropped her off.Sentence: She arrived at class after the bus had dropped her off.

 Run-on: You know the answer, it’s on the board.Sentence: You know the answer because it’s on the board.

4. Comma Errors _____  Commas with Coordinate Conjunctions – Notice the need for a

comma in compound sentences with a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or), where there are two equal ideas (see page … in the text).

Examples:I walked to class, and I carried my books.I walked to class and carried my books.Notice that you do have a comma when there is a second subject but do not have a comma when the second subject is left out.

 _____  Commas with Subordinate Conjunctions – Use commas after

subordinate clauses that introduce sentences. A subordinate clause is less important than the main sentence and is signaled with a key word.

Examples: When I got to class, the fire alarm rang. After I got to class, the fire alarm rang.                                 The fire alarm rang after I got to class. I like apples because they are sweet.

Notice that you need a comma when the subordinate clause starts the sentence but do not use a comma when the Subordinate Clause does not start the sentence.

 _____ Commas in Opening Phrases and Introductory Phrases – Use a

comma after opening phrases.

Example: “In fact, I did it my way.” “In early morning light, I saw the battle.”“I saw the battle in the early morning light.” (Notice there is no comma because the prepositional phrase comes at the end of the sentence.)

 _____  Commas in Series – Put a comma after each item in a series including

the last item before the conjunction.

Example: “I like apples, oranges, and bananas.”“She read the chapter on Monday, visited the Writing Center on Tuesday, and took the exam on Wednesday.” 

 _____  Commas with Which but not That – It is almost always true that

“which” takes a comma, and “that” does not.

Example: “I am taking the umbrella, which is in the closet.”“I am taking the umbrella that is in the closet.”

 _____  No Comma after a Subordinate Conjunction – You never have a

Comma after a Subordinate Conjunction.

Never like this: “Although, it was raining, we played the soccer match to the end.” Always like this: “Although it was raining, we played the soccer match to the end.”

 

5. Correct Wording  _____  Its/It’s This is an exception to the possessive rule. “Its” is the possessive

as in “The cat cleaned its fur.” “It’s” is the contraction meaning “It is,” as in, “It’s time to go.”

 _____  Then/Than These two words are tricky. “Then” is used to show a

change in time. For example: “First, I washed my clothes; then I did my assignment.” “Then” is also used with cause-effect sentences. For example: “If you want to leave on time, then you better start packing.” “Than” is used for comparisons. For example: “I like your choice better than mine.”

 _____  There/Their/They’re These words are pronounced the same but have

different meanings. Here’s what they mean:

1. “There” is a direction like: “over there.”2. “Their” shows possession like: “their car.”3. “They’re” is a contraction meaning: “They are.”

_____  To/Too/Two These words are pronounced the same but have different

meanings. Here’s what they mean:

You have “to” as in “to the store”; “too” as in “too many assignments”; and “two” as in “two pencils.” Make sure to use the right form in your essay!

 _____  In formal writing, avoid using “and” or “but” to start a sentence. Usually

you can just take the “and” or “but” out, and it will fix the problem, or you can combine the word group that begins with “and” or “but” with the sentence that comes before.

Incorrect: I walked to class. And I took the quiz.Correct: I walked to class, and I took the quiz.

_____  Slang – In a formal paper, try to avoid using slang words like “Got,” “Lot of,” “thing,” “stuff,” or “bunch.” See if you can find another word to do the job.

 _____  I believe/I think/in my opinion/Next I’ll talk about – In a formal

paper, avoid writing “I believe,” “I think,” “in my opinion,” and so on. Readers will assume that you would not write it if you didn’t believe it, so it’s unnecessary to write, “I believe.”

Extra Wording: I believe 16 year olds should have the right to vote.Revised: Sixteen year olds should have the right to vote.

_____ The words “very,” “a little,” “a lot,” “kind of,” “sort of,” and “you know,” “that,” and “In this essay, I’m going to write about, “at the present time,” due to the fact that,” “in the event that,” “The point I am trying to make is that,” “What I mean to say is that,” “In the final analysis”…” are most often unnecessary and don’t add anything to your writing. Just take them out.

_____  Numbers – In a formal paper, write out your numbers unless they are triple digits (10 or greater), or a paper where you are presenting data.

Incorrect: There were 8 stores in the city.Correct: There were eight stores in the city.

_____   Second Person “you” – In a formal paper, try to avoid the second person “you” unless you’re giving instructions or directions. Stick to the third person (“it” “he” “she” “they”) and so on. Or in personal essays, use the first person “I.”

Process Essays are the exception where you are explaining how to do something (like how to change the car’s oil, or how to write an essay!)

Answer to the question posed on page 36 – How did Harry Harryhausen, the famous special effects artist of the 50s and 60s, complete the “Skeleton Fight” without the use of computers in the movie, Jason and the Argonauts?

“Jason's encounter with the seven skeletons: The live action was shot first, requiring seven swordsmen to stand in for the skeletons during rehearsals. Each swordsman had a number on his back so his motions could be tracked and perfectly choreographed. When the actors in the sequence had the steps of the fight sequence down, the sequence was shot without the swordsmen. Anyone stumbling on the shooting set that day would have thought all of this looked quite ridiculous. Here were these actors fighting thin air, as though they had an invisible enemy. Ray then used this footage to animate the skeletons. [Each skeleton’s movement was drawn at 24 drawings per second of film. The animation when combined with the actors in the final take created] a stunning sequence in which the actors appear to actually be battling these hideous and evil looking skeletons. In the original story of Jason, rotted corpses of the dead victims of the hydra were resurrected but Ray decided that the sequence would be too gruesome that way and went for the skeletons-outdoing the similar sequence from 7TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD. Though this entire sequence only plays for a few moments on the screen it took Ray four and a half months to animate it.

Jason and Argonauts: Behind the Sceneshttp://members.fortunecity.com/ymir1/jasonand3.html