R E V I S I N G I N T R O D U C T I O N S

WEEK 13: PREPARING FOR BA8

UPDATES

• If your instructor comments recommend that you meet with me and/or visit the Writing Center, you should do it.• Very few of you have visited the Writing Center• Drop deadline has passed. You must revise if you

want to improve your grade.

• Office Hours tomorrow: 12PM-3PM• These will be my office hours from now until the

end of the semester

ACTIVITY 1

•What were some of the grader comments and suggestions you received?•How are you planning to address those issues or follow those recommendations in your revisions?• More or less what you discussed in your

BA7

GOALS FOR TODAY

•Understanding the function and importance of introductions•Understanding what makes a good introduction• Begin revisions for your introductions

READING 13

• St. Martin's Handbook: • Sections 4i, 4k-l, 5a-b, 5d-e, • "Revising Paragraphs Sentences, Words, and

Tone," "Editing," "Proofreading the Final Draft"; • Part 8, Sections 40, 43, "Concise Writing,“

"Memorable Prose"

NEXT WEEK’S PARTICIPATION ASSIGNMENT

• Next week we will be working with Sentence-level Revision. You will need to:

1. Participate in the poll in the homepage of the class website• You will need to choose three grammar points you want

us to discuss next week. • You have until Sunday, Nov. 17 @ 5PM

2. Bring a printed & double-spaced copy of your latest version of your revised draft• We will use this for an in-class activity

BRIEF ASSIGNMENT 8: REVISING INTRODUCTIONS

• Instructions - Your completed assignment should contain the following:

1. A copy of your original introduction2. Your revised introduction3. A short summary and evaluation of your revisions,

in which you identify and explain what you changed and why• The total length of the analysis should be 300-400 words,

NOT including the original and revised conclusions.• See Assignment Post on Class Website for full details.

• Due: Monday, November 18 @ 11:59 PM

PREPARING FOR BA8INTRODUCTIONS

SOME FAMOUS FIRST LINES

• “One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.” –Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis• "On the day they were going to kill him, Santiago

Nasar got up at five-thirty in the morning to wait for the boat the bishop was coming on. He'd dreamed he was going through a grove of timber trees where a gentle drizzle was falling, and for an instant he was happy in his dream.“ – Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Chronicle of a Death Foretold

FAMOUS FIRST LINES (CONT.)

• “It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” — George Orwell, 1984• “Five score years ago, a great American, in

whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity.” – MLK, I Have A Dream

INTRODUCTIONS

• Establish tone, topic to be discussed, create an atmosphere, foreshadow important elements, etc.

• Your introductions consist of three key parts1. Context2. Identifications3. Thesis

• The context section must be related the author’s main point

• You will need to revise, not just edit, your introductions• Use graders’ comments to revise your introduction

ACTIVITY 2

• Last Week’s Draft & This Week’s Revision• Were changes made to your introduction?• What has been revised?• What can be improved? How?• Is the context section of your introduction related

to the author’s main point?• Are the author’s main point, audience, and purpose

identified?• Does the thesis contain the required elements?• Does your introduction set up a rhetorical analysis?• Circle and/or mark places that can be improved