what can i do with my worry

WHAT CAN IDO WITH MYWORRY?

TThe Serenity Prayer is agood place to start. Manyhave found peace of mind

in the words, “God grant meserenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage tochange the things I can, and thewisdom to know the difference.”

The Bible gives a basis forsuch a prayer. But it also givesso much more. The Scripturestell us a great deal about theheart of the One who has askedus to bring our cares to Him.

In the following pages,author Dave Egner expressessensitivity for the anxieties thatwear us down, and a real basisfor believing that there is a God who wants us to find ourserenity, courage, and wisdomin Him.

Martin R. De Haan II

Managing Editor: David Sper Cover Photo:Terry BidgoodScripture quotations are from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by ThomasNelson, Inc. Used by permission.All rights reserved.© 1992,2003 RBC Ministries, Grand Rapids, Michigan Printed in USA

CONTENTS

“I’m Worried!” . . . . . . . . 2

What Is Worry? . . . . . . . 4

Why Do We Worry? . . . 8

What Can We Do With Our Worry? . . . . 10

Turn Our Attention To God . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

Trust Beyond Ourselves. . . . . . . . . . . 17

Talk To Someone Who Cares . . . . . . . . . 20

Throw Our Cares On The Lord. . . . . . . . . 23

A Biblical Case Study . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

Joanie’s Story . . . . . . . . 26

The Greatest Worry . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

© RBC Ministries. All rights reserved.

“I’M WORRIED!”

GGene and Jan wereworried. Rumorshad been circulating

for months that the plantwhere Gene had worked for 27 years was going tocut back 25-30 percent in production. If this was true, layoffs on all levels, including Gene’ssupervisory ranking, werecertain. Now the news hadleaked out that the cutswould occur at the end of the month.

Gene and Jan wereoverwhelmed by theuncertainty—bombardedwith questions about thefuture. “If I lose my job, willwe be able to make it? Howcan we keep up with thehouse payments? What arewe going to do about healthinsurance? What kind ofjob can I get at 56 yearsold? Will Jan have to goback to work?” Genebecame increasingly

quiet and withdrawn as the31st approached. Jan waswaking up in the middle ofthe night, and not able toget back to sleep. Theywere worried.

Gene and Jan areChristians. They attendchurch regularly andconsider themselvesspiritually mature. Theybelieve that Christiansshouldn’t worry. “God willtake care of you,” theirpastor said. They believedthat and they prayed aboutit. But they were stillworried.

A lot of us are like Geneand Jan. We worry. So domany Americans. Worry is“the number one mentalhealth disorder in America”(Worry-Free Living, Minirth,Meier, Hawkins, p.17). Forsome, worry is linked tospecific panic-inducingsituations that result in drymouth, shortness of breath,or uncontrollable tears. Forothers, worry is a chronic,

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vague, never-ending fearthat something terrible isabout to happen to wreckeverything. For others, it’sthe fear that people are notgoing to like them or willdisapprove of how they’redressed or the way theytalk.

One woman soughtcounsel because she wasbeside herself with worryabout the salvation of hergrown children. She wokeup at night thinking aboutit. She examined her heartagain and again to see ifshe really believed Godcould save them. Thiswoman was crippled withworry, and she needed todo something about it.

As followers of Christ,we certainly aren’t immuneto worry. We are livingunder the same pressures of society that everyoneelse is. In addition,sometimes even ourspiritual convictions can bea source of worry. We want

to be the right kind ofChristian parent or spouse.We want to be a goodwitness to our neighbor. So we worry about it.

We may even worrybecause we see ourselvesas worriers. We know thatwe shouldn’t worry, but wejust keep worrying. Wedon’t know what to do.

The purpose of thisbooklet is to help us see, from a biblical and practical point of view, what we can do with ourworry. By understandingwhat worry is, why weworry, and what the Biblehas to say, we can turn ourworry into spiritual growth.

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Believing youshouldn’t worry canbe something elseto worry about.


WHAT ISWORRY?

BBefore we turn to theBible to see what we can do with our

worry, it might be helpful to answer a few basicquestions about worry.

What is worry?It’s a feeling of uneasiness,apprehension, or dread.These feelings are usuallyrelated to negative thoughtsof something that mayhappen in the future. “Whatwill I do if my husbandcomes in upset and angry?”“If my daughter goes to astate college, will she beokay?” “If we go ahead andget this house, will we beable to make the payments?”“Will we survive the nextearthquake?”

Worriers live in thefuture. They spend adisproportionate amount of time speculating on what might occur, and then fearing the worst.

The primary NewTestament word for worry(merimnao) means “to beanxious, to be distracted, tohave a divided mind.” It’sthe word Jesus used whenHe said, “Do not worryabout your life” (Mt. 6:25).And Paul used it when he

wrote, “Be anxious fornothing” (Phil. 4:6). Peoplewho worry are preoccupiedor distracted. No matterwhat else they may bedoing, one part of theirmind is worrying.

Who worries?Everyone! No person liveswithout some worry. Aperson who claims hedoesn’t have a care in theworld is in a state of denial.Every person who takes

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Worriers dwell inthe “what if ’s”

of life.


responsibility seriouslycan’t help but feel a certainamount of worry. It’s onereason things get done.Some of the greatest worldleaders were worriers:Alexander the Great,George Washington,Winston Churchill.

Interestingly, many highachievers are worriers. Theyare driven by their worriesabout what might happen ifthey fall short. But peoplewho appear to be laid-backworry too. They just don’tshow it. Yes, everyoneworries.

What do we worryabout? It’s sometimes saidthat worry superimposes thefuture on the present. Worryis a preoccupation with thepainful consequences ofwhat might happen. Worriesgenerally arise out of one ofthree categories.

1. Threats. You don’thave to live in New York orChicago to recognize thereality of the threat of crime.

Suppose you live in a high-crime area and you have toarrive home from work afterdark. You worry about beingmugged, and you feel greatrelief when you arrive homesafely and bolt the doorbehind you. One reasonpeople worry is that they are physically threatened.

Other people arethreatened by what othersthink of them. They want tolook good and do well at alltimes. When thrust into anunfamiliar or demandingsituation, they worry aboutdoing the right thing. Manyof these people avoid takingrisks to escape the possibilityof facing disapproval.

Still others worry aboutthe threat of abandonment.They need continualreassurance that theirspouse or friends will not leave them.

2. Choices. Many peopleworry when they have tomake a decision. They willdo anything to avoid making

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a wrong choice. This is trueeven when they are facedwith two good options. Forexample, John was offeredtwo teaching positions. Onehad better benefits; the othergave him better courses andthe opportunity to coachbaseball. He was worriedabout making the wrongchoice and ending upunhappy.

3. Past Experiences. Athird cause for worry comesout of the past. A young manmay have trouble with maleauthority figures because of his relationship to hisfather or a bad incident with a teacher. He worrieswhenever he has to discusssomething with his boss. Hecan’t stand the threat ofbeing humiliated again.

Worry, then, is apreoccupation with badthings that may happen. It’s the fear that we’ll be embarrassed, suffer pain, experience loss, or beinconvenienced. This leaves

us with a choice. We canchoose to avoid the sourceof our worry. But this onlyincreases the stress. Or wecan face it, take appropriateaction, and put it behind us.

What does the Biblesay about worry? TheBible teaches that there are two kinds of worry: (1) a negative, harmful,crippling worry, and (2) a positive, beneficialconcern. The same Greekword (merimnao) is used inthe New Testament for each.

Negative worry in the Bible is a troubledfretting and anxiety. Jesusmentioned this kind of worry

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Worry shifts theburden from God’sstrong shoulders

to our weakshoulders.


six times in the Sermon on the Mount (Mt. 6). Hecommanded His followersnot to worry about theeveryday cares of life: food,clothing, shelter, or even thefuture. Paul told us to “beanxious for nothing” (Phil.4:6). And Peter instructedhis readers to cast theircares on God (1 Pet. 5:7). In this booklet, when we usethe word worry, we usuallyhave this negative, cripplingkind of worry in mind.

But not all worry is bad. The Bible also speaks of a beneficial worry. In 2 Corinthians 11:28, Paulspoke of his “deep concernfor all the churches.” Theword translated concern hereis the same Greek word usedfor worry in the previousreferences. Paul was worriedabout the believers, so hewrote to them.

Paul also told thebelievers in Philippi of hisdesire to send Timothy tothem because he was

concerned about (sameword) their welfare (Phil.2:20). This was a good kindof worry that spurred Pauland Timothy into lovinginvolvement for the sake ofothers. We will use the wordconcern for this positive kindof worry.

When am I worriedtoo much? We havemoved from a healthyconcern to an oppressive,crippling worry when we:

• Can’t sleep because we can’t stop thinkingabout what mighthappen.

• Feel guilty whenever we relax.

• Are afraid of somethingall the time.

• Feel panic in certainsituations.

• Refuse to look at ourfeelings.

• Blame others foreverything.

• Have a vague fear of disaster.

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WHY DO WEWORRY?

AAn incident in the life of the apostle Peter

will help us answerthis question. Do youremember the time thedisciples were out in a boatin a storm? Jesus had sentthem ahead while He wentto a mountain to pray (Mt.14:22-33). A strong windswept across the Sea ofGalilee. It was so powerfulthat the exhausted disciplescould make no headwayrowing into it. Then Jesusappeared, walking to themacross the water. Thedisciples were terrified.

After Jesus identifiedHimself, Peter was skeptical.“Lord, if it is You, commandme to come to You on thewater” (v.28). When Jesussaid “Come,” by faith Peterwalked out on the watertoward Him.

But then he lookedaround him. He saw the

power of the wind and thehuge waves. He thoughtabout the danger he was in and began to questionwhether he could survive in a situation like that. Hebegan to sink. He cried outto Jesus, who reached outHis hand and escorted Peterback to the boat.

We’re so much like Peter. His experienceillustrates why we worry.

1. We worry becausewe’re vulnerable. Ashuman beings, we aresusceptible to many things.Disease may strike. Theeconomy may change. Wemay get stranded by anautomobile breakdown or asudden airline strike. Wecould get hit by a drunkdriver. We’re afraid someonemay say cutting words oroffer harsh criticisms thatwill wound us deeply.

We are frail, mortal,sensitive human beings. Weare vulnerable physically,emotionally, and spiritually.

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We can get hurt in manyways. Like Peter, we aremerely human and capableof drowning. We worrybecause we are vulnerable.

2. We worry becausewe become aware of ourvulnerability. Most of thetime we feel relatively safe.We can make our homesecure. We can drive areliable car and keep it ingood repair. We can getregular checkups. We canbuy good insurance. We can maintain peacefulrelationships. We take care of ourselves physically,emotionally, and spiritually.

But then somethinghappens that makes uspainfully aware of ourvulnerability. We’re likePeter when he saw the wind and was afraid. It could be an engine thatbegins to knock. Or one ofour children is ill. Or there’spressure in our chest. Or wediscover a mysterious lump.Or we hear rumors of a

layoff at work. Whatever it is, it forces us to see ourweakness.

3. We worry becausewe distrust God.Confronted with ourvulnerability, we have achoice. We can turn oursafety over to God and trustHim with our apprehensions.Or we can take our well-being into our own hands.That’s what Peter did on thewater. Confronted by hisfrailty, he lost faith in Jesus.Yet he knew he couldn’t savehimself.

Jesus’ words to Peter arerevealing. “O you of littlefaith,” He said (v.31). Peterstopped trusting Jesus.When we no longer feel thatwe can trust Jesus with ourlives, our feelings, or ourfuture, we worry. And that issin because we are takingresponsibilities on ourselvesthat belong to the Lord. Weare stubbornly refusing toplace ourselves in His stronghands. No wonder we worry!

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WHAT CAN WEDO WITH OURWORRY?

LLinda was a worrier. She’sthe first to admit it. She

worried about herhusband’s job, theneighbor’s dog, thechildren’s lunches, the car’s rattles, the family’s insurance, thechurch’s nursery, the roastthey were having for dinner.

Linda was particularlyconcerned about the housebeing safe at night. Shemade sure that everywindow and door had adouble lock. Every nightbefore going to bed, Lindamade a couple of circuitsaround the house to makecertain that all the doorsand windows were securelyfastened. She knew sheworried too much.

Linda is now free fromher worry. Her release cameas a result of a series of

choices. First, she looked at things differently. Shebegan to see her feelings of vulnerability as anopportunity to grow, bothemotionally and spiritually.She did that in two ways.She learned from the Biblehow to handle her worry.And she took somepractical steps to help herbreak free. Oh, she stilllocks the house—and sheshould. But she is no longercrippled by feelings ofhelplessness.

We too can get to theplace where we can makeour worry work for us. To turn our worry intoopportunity, we can takethe following four steps:

1. Turn Our Attention To God.

2. Trust BeyondOurselves.

3. Talk To Someone Who Cares.

4. Throw Our Cares On The Lord.

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Worriers have focused theireyes on the consequencesof events that have not yet happened. They feelvulnerable and expect the worst. They takeresponsibility for things thatare out of their control. Butif they will turn to God, theywill find in His character theanswer to their vulnerability.God’s character is best seenin His Word.

God Is In Charge.The Bible teaches thatnothing happens in thisworld that is beyond theknowledge and control of God. “The Lord hasestablished His throne in

heaven, and His kingdomrules over all” (Ps. 103:19).He is God Almighty (Ps.66:7). He is the sovereignLord of all.

Worriers feel that thingsare out of control—thatsomething terrible is aboutto happen and they can’tstop it. When the questionsraised by those feelingscreate anxiety, worriersneed to remember threeimportant truths about God.

1. God is everywhere(Ps. 139:7; Jer. 23:23-24).We can’t get to a placewhere God is not. There is no place, no matter how alone we may feel, that God cannot be. He is everywhere!

2. God knowseverything (Job 7:20; Ps. 33:13). He knows howafraid we are, how bad wefeel, what scares us. Themore worried we become,

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URN OURATTENTION TO GOD


the more we act as if God were ignorant of oursituation. We don’t knowthe future, but God does.He knows how everything isgoing to turn out. He knowsour needs.

3. God is all-powerful(Gen. 17:1; 18:14; Mt.19:26). Worriers feel that no one has the power tostop the bad things thatmight happen. Not evenGod, they think, can keeptheir daughter from gettingpregnant or their son out ofjail. But God has limitlesspower. The answer to thequestion, “Is anything toohard for the Lord?” (Gen.18:14) is no!

William Backus, in TheGood News About Worry,wrote about his brother-in-law, an athlete who was in the hospital recoveringfrom an angioplasty. Theprocedure was successful,but he remained in dangerthe next 24 hours. He wasworried! As he lay there, he

said, “I’m an athlete. I’vealways made my body dowhatever I wanted and mybody responded. But whenI tell myself I must stopbeing anxious and stressingmyself, I can’t.” The morehe told himself to controlhis anxiety, the worse it got.

Then it was as if Godspoke to him. “Who’s incharge here?” “You are,” heanswered meekly. And asthat truth and commitmentcame to his mind, peaceflooded his heart.

God Can Carry OurBurdens. The cares of lifethat weigh on us so heavilycan be placed on theshoulders of God. He ismore concerned than weare about our health, ourchildren and grandchildren,our loved one’s salvation,world peace. He helpedDavid kill the bear, the lion,and the Philistine giant. Heprotected David from themurderous rages of Saul.He kept him safe in enemy

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country. Perhaps that’s thereason David could write,“Cast your burden on theLord, and He shall sustainyou; He shall never permitthe righteous to be moved”(Ps. 55:22).

But how do we give ourburdens to God? How do weplace them on His shouldersand leave them there? Byacting on what we know. We know that He is an all-powerful, trustworthy God.When we worry, we holdback from trusting Him. Weare putting ourselves in Hisplace. We’re saying we cando better. We need to turn itover to Him.

I was walking along a

rock-strewn beach. A littleboy was trying to carry asack of rocks he hadcollected. He couldn’t keepup with his family. Once ortwice he fell. He didn’t havethe strength to lug that bigload. Then his big brothersaw him. He went back,picked him and his sack ofrocks up, and carried themboth. That is what God iswaiting to do with us oncewe hold our arms out toHim. “Commit your way tothe Lord,” the psalmist said,“trust also in Him” (37:5).

God Can Take AwayOur Fear. Worry is howwe express our fear of thefuture. We’re afraid of theconsequences of what liesahead: What questions willappear on the exam? Howwill I do at the dentist? Willour city be hit by a tornado?

Worry began in Edenafter Adam and Eve hadsinned. They hid from Godbecause they were afraid ofthe consequences of their

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“Cast your burdenon the Lord,and He shallsustain you.”

Psalm 55:22


choice to eat the forbiddenfruit (Gen. 3:10). “I wasafraid,” Adam said.

Knowing that God is agood God—that nothing evilcan originate in Him—helpsdrive fear away. When wecan say with David, “Goodand upright is the Lord” (Ps.25:8), we find assurance.When we are worried aboutthe future, we can follow theexample of the psalmist and“taste and see that the Lordis good” (34:8).

Accepting God’s love for us also helps drive fearaway. If we are to have anyfear, the Bible tells us, it is to be a fear of God (Dt.10:12,20; 13:4). Yet to fearHim is to love Him and toaccept and feel secure in Hiswonderful love for us. Howmuch better it is to fear theCreator than anything Hehas created. How muchbetter it is to fear One wholoves you to the point ofgiving up His Son than to be afraid of the nameless,

faceless, powerlessapprehensions of the future.

David knew God’sgoodness and love byexperience. That’s why hecould tell us that even whenhe was in the darkest valleysof life, he feared no evil (Ps.23:4). In Psalm 31 he wroteof terrible life experiences—being forsaken by his friends(vv.11-12) and attacked byhis enemies (vv.13,15). Yet

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How much better it is to fear Onewho loves you tothe point of givingup His Son than to be afraid of the nameless,

faceless, powerlessapprehensions of the future.


he could say, “But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord”(v.14), and “My times are in Your hand” (v.15).

When we’re afraid, wecan do something about it.Time after time the Bibletells us not to be afraid. Ourresponsibility, accepting thegoodness and love of God, is to make the same choiceDavid did. We must say,“Therefore we will not fear”(Ps. 46:2).

God Can SustainUs. In a context where hehad spoken of war, famine,and evil men, David saidthat those who trust in God“shall be satisfied” (Ps.37:19). The basic meaninghere is that they will nottremble; they will not beshaken. In the midst of thelegitimate concerns of life weneed not quiver with fear.Why? Because God cansustain us by His power.

When we feel vulnerable,we become distracted by theconcerns that are on our

minds. We’re like a fatherwhose 3-year-old son is in the hospital fighting adangerous infection. Hegoes to work while Momstays by the bedside. Buteven while he works, part ofhis thinking is always in thathospital room with his littleboy. Every mother who hasseen her son go off to warknows that feeling. So doesDad when his daughter ison her first date or histeenage son is late gettingback with the car.

God can sustain usduring those worrisometimes. David wrote, “Castyour burden on the Lord,and He shall sustain you”(Ps. 55:22). The God whocannot be moved will keepus from being shaken by theworries and cares of life.

God Will Always Be With Us. Worry is asolitary burden. We tend tocarry it alone. The more weworry, the more alone andhelpless we feel. But as

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children of God we arenever alone. We will neverbe abandoned. Davidassured us of God’spresence in Psalm 139,where he said that Godknew everything about himbefore he was even born(vv.13-16), and that hecould never escape God’sSpirit (vv.7-12). Morning ornight, land or sea, heaven or hades, God is there.

Yes, David knew ofGod’s ever-present care. He wrote, “When my fatherand my mother forsake me,then the Lord will take careof me” (Ps. 27:10). Whoamong us didn’t fearparental abandonment aschildren? Sometimes thoseterrible feelings return to us. It is then that we mustremember the promise ofGod that He will always be with us.

Isaiah knew of God’sever-present care. The Lordsaid through him, “Fear not,for I am with you; be not

dismayed, for I am yourGod” (41:10).

Joshua knew of it. Godsaid to him, “As I was withMoses, so I will be with you.I will not leave you norforsake you” (Josh. 1:5).

Moses knew of it. “Byfaith he forsook Egypt, notfearing the wrath of the king; for he endured asseeing Him who is invisible”(Heb. 11:27).

The disciples knew of it. Jesus said to them justbefore He ascended, “I amwith you always, even to theend of the age” (Mt. 28:20).

We know of it too. WhenJesus gave that promise toHis disciples, He was alsotalking to us.

The next time you start tobe overcome by worry, turnto God and remember that(1) He is in charge, (2) Hecan carry your burdens, (3)He can take away your fear,(4) He can sustain you, and(5) He will never leave you.

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The major teaching onworry in the New Testamentwas given by Jesus in theSermon on the Mount (Mt.6:25-34). In that passageHe gave us the antidote toworry. He was speaking todevoutly religious people(like many of us) who werelooking for the Messiah butwere not ready for Hiscoming. Jesus mentionedworry 6 times in these 10verses. What He had to sayspeaks to us as we copewith our fast-paced, stress-filled, materialistic society.

Jesus said, in essence,“You are filled with worrybecause you aren’t really

living by faith. You’re tooconcerned about food andclothing and things. Put Meand My kingdom first andyou’ll be all right.”

Remember, the Lord had just been telling Hisfollowers to make choicesthat would lay up treasuresin heaven, not on earth(6:19-24). We can almosthear the silent objections of the crowd, “Oh, sure. If Ilived like He says—alwaysthinking about heaven—I’dstarve to death. A person’sgot to eat, you know.”That’s probably the reasonJesus began His teachingwith the command, “Do not worry” (v.25).

Causes Of Worry(Mt. 6:25-32). Unless Hisfollowers stopped worryingabout the cares of earth,they would never be free to store up treasures inheaven. Jesus said thatworrying about the essential

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RUST BEYONDOURSELVES


needs of life is unnecessary.If God takes care of thebirds of the air and theflowers of the fields, Hecertainly will take care of His children.

We do have aresponsibility to work and provide for the needs of ourselves and ourfamilies. The apostle Paulsaid, “If anyone will notwork, neither shall he eat”(2 Th. 3:10). Jesus wasn’tteaching that we are tobecome passive recipients.His point was that weshould not fret, worry, or beanxious about our needs.

Many of us, however, areworried about much morethan meeting the essentialneeds of life. We want to beseen at the “in” restaurants,have a car a little better than our neighbors, build a house with a little moresquare footage, dress in thelatest fashions, and manyother things that our societyviews as important. We’ve

become so accustomed to our materialism that we worry about what willhappen if we don’t keep up.

Jesus said that all ourworrying is unnecessary. He recognized it as a realproblem, but a needless one.Birds have to eat, but theydon’t get migraines worryingabout it. Flowers “wearclothes,” but they don’t have to be treated for ulcers. Why? Because their heavenly Father takes care of them.

Worry’s HiddenAgenda (v.30). Theunderlying cause of worry is identified in Jesus’ words,“O you of little faith.” We’reburdened down with carebecause we do not trustGod. We don’t really believethat He is running our worldefficiently. We’ve stoppedtrusting Him to care for our needs, even though Hepromised that He would.We’ve shifted our eyes from heaven to earth. We’re

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trusting in ourselves insteadof trusting in God. We’vetaken the responsibility forthe future onto our ownshoulders. We feel that we can’t trust God withimportant matters like that any longer!

Jesus’ Antidote ForWorry (vv.33-34). Jesussaid that worry boils downto a matter of priorities. We worry about food andclothing, and competing,and controlling the future,instead of concentrating on what is most important.“Seek first the kingdom ofGod and His righteousness,”

He said, “and all thesethings shall be added toyou” (v.33). Exercise faith.Give priority to God andyou’ll lay up treasures inheaven.

When we listen to Jesus,we realize that getting rid ofworry is a matter of choice.When we choose to trustGod rather than ourselves,our worries will subside. The answer lies with us.

Are you obsessed withworry about having enoughto eat? What you’ll wear? Ifyour house is big enough?Whether you’ve got the rightcar? If your retirement issecure? A lot of Christians inour world have learned fromhard experience that thosethings aren’t nearly asimportant as we think, andthat God keeps His Word toprovide. They’ve learnedthat the things that nourishfaith are the most important,because in the real toughissues of life it is faith thatthey need the most.

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Worry is unbelief in disguise.

It comes down to the fact

that we’re nottrusting God.


In Paul’s letter to thePhilippians, we find animportant alternative toworry. Instead of giving into our vulnerability, we cantake positive action that willhelp us to stop worrying.

Paul gave the believers inPhilippi a specific command:“Be anxious for nothing”(4:6). It was the samecommand Jesus gave on theGalilean hillside (Mt. 6:25).Jesus went on to explain thefutility of worry, but Paultold the Philippians thatinstead of worrying theywere to pray.

Be anxious for nothing,but in everything by

prayer and supplication,with thanksgiving, let yourrequests be made knownto God; and the peace ofGod, which surpasses allunderstanding, will guardyour hearts and mindsthrough Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:6-7). There are three words

used by Paul in Philippians4:6 that describe what weare to be doing instead ofworrying.

1. Prayer. The wordPaul used here is the mostcommon word for talking toGod—prayer. It refers toprayer in general and ismost likely related to theworship aspect of prayer.When we pray, we are to acknowledge God’sgreatness and give Him ouradoration, devotion, andrespect. Recognizing God asthe sovereign Lord, we areto bring our worries to Him.

2. Supplication. The 20

ALK TO SOMEONEWHO CARES


second word Paul used indescribing his alternative toworry is supplication. Thisrefers to the expressing ofour needs to God. Theseare our earnest requests,our desperate cries for help.These supplications can befor ourselves or for others.

When you are worried,take that worry to God. Ask for His help. Earnestlypetition Him. The God whotold us to ask, seek, andknock will give, help us find,and answer (Mt. 7:7-8).

3.Thanksgiving. Thethird word describing theprayers that are to replaceour worry is thanksgiving.Sometimes we become soconcerned with our problemsthat we forget the graciousways God has worked in thepast. We fail to see that Hehas dealt with us accordingto His grace and mercy andhas met all of our needs. Ithelps to calm us when weremember how God hascared for us in the past.

When we pray as analternative to worry, we areremoving the burden fromour shoulders and placing it on the broad shoulders ofAlmighty God. And once wetrust Him with our cares,we can thank Him for beingthe kind of God who lovesus, who is keenly interestedin our problems, and whohas the power to answerour prayer.

Bring your vulnerabilitiesto the One who has thepower to do somethingabout them. When youwake up at night worriedabout your sister or yourjob or your little boy, pray.Train your mind to stop and redirect all the energyfrom worry, which isdestructive, to prayer, which is constructive. AskGod to help, to intercede, toconvict, to open a door, towork the kind of miraculouschange only He can work.

When you’reoverwhelmed by the

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frightening prospects of thefuture, pray. Express yourapprehensions to the Lord.Turn them over to Him.While you’re waiting for a traffic light and you’reworrying about paying the bills, pray. Ask God to provide, then move on. God hears your prayers.

In an article in FocalPoint, a publication ofDenver Seminary, PaulBorden gave a good actionsuggestion for worriers. Herecommended making aworry list. When you’reworried about something,write it down. Perhaps it’sthe health of your agingmother, or replacing therefrigerator, or changingchurches. Write it down. It will help you when yousee that specific worry inblack and white.

Next, turn that worry list into a prayer list. Prayabout those things you are concerned about. Prayabout them specifically.

You’ll be pleased at howmuch that will help keepthose worries from cripplingand controlling you.

Then Borden suggestedthat you turn that prayer listinto an action list. As Godgives you insight andconfidence, do somethingabout those cares. Even ifyou only do a little, you’llsoon find that a paralyzinganxiety is replaced by ahealthy, manageable concernfor the responsibilities of life.

Are you worried? Pray. If you’ve done that, prayagain. Use the energy ofworry to pray instead.

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Bring yourvulnerabilities

to the One whohas the power

to do somethingabout them.


Peter offered an alternativeto worry while writing topeople undergoing intensepersecution: “Humbleyourselves under the mightyhand of God, that He mayexalt you in due time,casting all your care uponHim, for He cares for you”(1 Pet. 5:6-7). Two steps areinvolved in this process.

1.Accepting WhatWe Can’t Change.Instead of fuming andstewing, or avoiding realityby denying our worry, weare to humbly accept thatthese circumstances arepart of our life. We don’thave the right to dictate the

terms of our ownhappiness. We must be humble enough toaccept what we receivefrom God’s mighty hand.

2. Giving OurWorry To God. We areto put our helpless feelingsof worry into those sameall-powerful hands. We areto cast our cares on Him.We are to entrust the futureto the One who caredenough for us to send HisSon to die for us. But thatgoes against the philosophyof our day. “You don’t need anyone but yourself,” we’re told. “You’ve got towatch out for number one,because nobody else will.”

Have you been dragging around a big load of worries? You know,worries that you’re tooproud or ashamed to talkabout? Give them to God.You’ve dragged themaround long enough!

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HROW OUR CARESON THE LORD


A BIBLICAL CASE STUDY OF A WORRIER

DDoctor Luke gave us a valuable lookat how Jesus helped

a worrier in his account ofthe Lord’s visit to the homeof Mary, Martha, andLazarus (Lk. 10:38-42). As He and His disciplestraveled, they stopped for a visit at Martha’sinvitation. I can envisionthe following scene.

Caring for the needs of the group was no smalltask. While Martha wasbusy in the kitchen with allthe preparations (cutting upthe vegetables for the salad,getting out the good china,preparing the main dish,getting the dessert ready),Mary was sitting idly at the feet of Jesus.

Things weren’t comingtogether for Martha. All that work—and she wanted

everything to be perfect for the Master. She feltfrustrated and helpless.“Distracted with muchserving,” she glanced intothe living room, hopingMary would come and help.Enthralled by the words ofJesus, Mary showed nosigns of moving.

Finally, Martha could stand it no longer.She marched into the living room. “Lord,” shedemanded, hands on her hips, “do You not care that my sister has leftme to serve alone?” Thenshe gave the Lord an order:“Tell her to help me” (v.40).

Perhaps you are aMartha—or you live with one. Jesus’ patient,understanding response toMartha is a wonderful modelfor you. Note what He did.

First, He made her aware of her worry. “Martha,Martha,” the Lord answered,“you are worried andtroubled about many things”

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(v.41). I believe there wasreal tenderness in His voiceas He repeated her name.He addressed the issue withMartha. He let her know shehad a problem to be dealtwith. There’s nothing wrongwith being a good hostess.There’s nothing wrong withwanting things the very best.Jesus didn’t judge Martha.He drew her attention to her worry.

Second, Jesus showedher that worry is a choice.Martha had chosen tobecome filled with anxietyover the preparations. Her choice had led her tocriticize her sister, to implythat Jesus was insensitive,and to give Him an order.Without condemningMartha, Jesus pointed out that Mary had made a choice too (v.42).

Third, Jesus told Marthathat the choice was betweenthat which is earthly andtemporary and that which isheavenly and eternal. “Mary

has chosen that good part,”He told Martha, “which willnot be taken away from her”(v.42). The meal would beforgotten, but the words ofJesus would stay in Mary’sheart and bear fruit foreternity.

What if Martha hadcome and joined Mary?They would never haveeaten, right? Wrong! Theyall could have helped. OrJesus could have spoken agourmet 7-course meal intoexistence.

I believe Martha learnedfrom Jesus. He was again attheir house for dinner a yearor so later. The family wasgiving the dinner in Jesus’honor to celebrate theraising of Lazarus (Jn. 12:1-11). We are told simply, “Martha served”(v.2). She was still theworker, but this time shewas not overwhelmed by the responsibility. I believeshe learned to control hertendency to worry.

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JOANIE’S STORYThe following story is taken from an interview with author Joanie Yoder,which was recorded for theRBC television programDay Of Discovery.

MMy life was filledwith anxiety andworry, but I was

unaware of it. I was able to cover it up, like a lot ofpeople do, until I had anexperience that caused meto hit rock bottom. It wasthen that I was forced toface my anxieties, my fears,my dread, my worries.Catherine Marshall oncesaid that the greatestdiscovery we can make is to realize that our ownstrength is not enough. Iexperienced that discovery.I had nothing left of myown inner resources. Ididn’t seem to have thestrength, physically oremotionally, to go on.

I had becomeagoraphobic, which is a dread of open spaces, a fear of going out. For me,it was a fear of going intothe supermarket. It was sointense that I would panicand go into a sweat. I was afraid that I would gototally insane in front ofpeople—or even worse, die.

So sometimes I wouldinterrupt my shopping,shove my cart into a corner, and run home. Assoon as I was in the house,I would have this suddenrelief of being safe andsecure again.

I thought I was the onlyperson who felt like this.My eating habits changed,my sleep was erratic, I wastrembly and shaky, and I was generally anxiousabout life and all itsresponsibilities. I couldn’tface anything. I felt I wasall washed up by the time I was in my early thirties.

There were underlying 26


reasons for my difficulty. As I look back now, Irealize that there were threereasons for my inability tomanage life. One wasextreme immaturity. I was underdevelopedemotionally to handleresponsibility. Second, I had developed abitterness habit. I didn’treally recognize it as such,because I felt I was alwaysjustified in feeling as I did.Mine was always a justcause. And then the thirdreason, which I think iscommon to all of us, was a tendency to be self-sufficient. I tried to doeverything in my ownstrength. And when Irealized that I couldn’t do it on my own, I felt thatI ought to be able to.

Those three factors had a crumbling effect. Itled me toward a breakdownthat I needed. I think it’s a breakdown we all need. It wasn’t a nervous

breakdown, but abreakdown of my self-sufficiency.

From my ownexperience, and also in observing other peoplewho are in this painfulsituation of running out oftheir resources, one of thecharacteristics is a need tocontrol—the need to controllife, circumstances, people,and unwittingly, God—because we feel afraid ofwhat might happen. We feel that if we can controlthings and make things go a certain way, we will beless afraid.

My problem was that I couldn’t feel in control of my self-protection—protection from the thingsthat I was afraid of. So Ibegan to build a cocoonaround myself. That cocoonbecame as small as theword implies. I had a tinyspace in which I felt safeand secure—the four wallsof my house. In fact, I so

27


cocooned my life that itcontained a population ofone—me.

During this time, I was aChristian. And even thoughI strongly believed in God,He had no scope in my life.I was terribly unhappy. Andeven worse, I felt that I hadmissed the unique purposefor which God had createdme.

I had to hit rock bottom.I had to come to the end of myself before I coulddiscover the sufficiency of Christ and allow Him to change me. God began to rehabilitate me accordingto what Paul described inPhilippians 1:6, “That Hewho has begun a good work in you [which starts at conversion] will completeit until the day of JesusChrist.” The process doesn’ttake 6 easy lessons or 6months, but continues until“the day of Jesus Christ.”

Early on in my progresstoward wholeness, God

showed me four disciplines,which still have a profoundeffect in my life: read, pray,trust, and obey. Read theBible—something to feaston. Pray—Someone to feast with. This goes beyondthe boundary of a little timeof prayer. It goes out intothe marketplace, out intoour cars, out into ourcircumstances. Trust—trusting God for the things we cannot control.Releasing them, not intothin air but to God. Obey—God wants us to obey Himin the things we can control.

These four disciplinesare very familiar. The wholeidea of dependence on God is an obvious truthscripturally but an obscuretruth experientially. Wemust actually practicethem, not just know aboutthem, talk about them, orbelieve fiercely about them.The blessing of being in aweakened condition andrunning out of our own

28


resources is that it helpsmotivate us to actually dothe things that we alreadybelieve.

As I began to incorporatethese disciplines into mydaily living, I found that it cultivated an intimaterelationship with Christ that developed confidencein Him. He began to proveHis sufficiency to me atsmall levels. And as Hecontinued to come throughfor me, I began to trust Himmore and more.

The four disciplines ofreading, praying, trusting,and obeying interacted with one another. Thisinteraction meant that therewas something for me todo. But as I did, it set Godfree to do the things thatonly He could do. So Ibegan to find less and lessreason for worry. It becamesuperfluous. I began torealize that whatever He led me to undertake, even if it were something that

stretched me, He wouldcome through for me.

God eventually led me out of the cocoon that I had built around myself with a population of one. He did this by involving me in the leadership of aneighborhood Bible study. I believe I was able tominister to the women in the group effectively becausethey realized I needed Christas much as they did. So Iwasn’t a threat. I was anencouragement to theirgrowth.

God then led myhusband and me overseas.One day we met a drugaddict on the Londonsubway, and we broughthim home to live with us.Through him, and a fewothers that we broughthome to live with us, I had my moment of truth.Up until then I had feltsomewhat apologetic that Ihad to depend on God forthings that many people do

29


with very little effort. Butthrough my involvementwith these drug-dependentpeople, I realized that theircure, as well as mine, wasnot independence. The keywas in being God-dependent.

Through my experiencewith drug addicts, Idiscovered that dependenceon God was something forwhich we were created. Ialso learned that what hadbeen effective in a crisiswas effective all the time.So I found that I could offerto a drug-dependent persona radical, shocking remedy.They had been taught to getrid of all the dependenciesin their lives. But I was ableto show them that theanswer was in moving fromdrug-dependence to God-dependence—not replacingdrugs with God, but movingto the one dependence forwhich we were created.

How do you thinkpeople prefer to be won

to Christ, assuming fordiscussion’s sake that theywant to be won to Christ?Would they prefer to bewon through strong peoplewho look like they don’tknow what it is to be weak?Or would they prefer to bewon through weak peoplewho have discovered howto be strong?

I believe that withoutexception they would preferthe latter. Although we maythink we are doing God’sservice and impressingpeople for God by comingacross as strong people, wemay be depriving them ofthe last hope they had thatGod might have somethingfor them. This is becausetheir reaction is not, “Oh,that’s for me!” Instead theysay, “I could never be likethat.” But if they see a weak person who haslearned to be strong and is still learning to take thatstrength from God, they willbe filled with hope. They

30


will say, “Wow! If thatworks for her, maybe there’ssomething in it for me.”

I really identify with theaverage person. This is notonly a fact, it is also myheart’s desire. Except forthe truth that we’re allunique creations, I’m veryordinary. Without Christ Iwould be a dead loss. Infact, I was introduced thisway in a meeting once.They said, “This is Joanie,who without Christ wouldbe a dead loss.” At one time, that kind ofintroduction would haveappalled me. But God hasbrought me to the place inmy life where He’s allowedme to be a spectacle ofweakness so that I can go out and share with theworld and testify to otherswhat God can do in andthrough human weakness.So if He can do it in andthrough me, why not them?

Dependence on God isthe theme of my life. My

story is about a womanwho had nothing in herselfbut found everything sheneeded through a life ofdependence on God. It’snot a sad state of affairs to have to depend onGod—it’s God’s perfectdesign. The creaturebecomes his or her verybest when depending on the Creator. I used todepend on God as a lastresort. Now it’s the firstthing I do!

The beginning ofprogress in my spiritual life was a rock-bottomexperience. I didn’t lookgood. I didn’t feel good. Butit was the most spiritualmoment in my life. I hopethis is an encouragement to others who are at thatpoint. So often we thinkthat to be spiritual we mustalways be on top. That’s not true. To be spiritual isto come to the place wherethere’s nothing of us and all of God.

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THE GREATESTWORRY

NNothing makes us feel more helplessthan the thought

of dying. The end of lifeconfronts us with the issueof what lies beyond. TheBible says it’s either heaven or hell. And hell is definitely something toworry about!

Ask most people ifthey’re going to heaven and they’ll say, “I hope so”or “Maybe, if I don’t blowit.” If they are honest, theywill admit that the thoughtof going to hell terrifiesthem.

But God said in theBible that we can knowbeyond any doubt that weare on our way to heaven.And He told us why.

First, the requirementsfor heaven have been metfor us by Christ. He lived aperfect life and then died onthe cross to pay the penalty

for our sin. Then came themiracle we needed. Jesusrose from the dead as proofthat God had accepted Hissacrifice for us. There isnothing we can do; it’s amiracle of grace God hasalready done.

Second, the way toheaven is not by works but by faith. Our responseto the death of Christ andGod’s offer of love is tobelieve on Jesus. We can’tlose it once we have it.Salvation is a free gift ofgrace that cares for ourspiritual vulnerability.

Once we believe in thefinished work of Christ onthe cross, we don’t have toworry that we’ll lose ourchance at heaven when we sin. God has acceptedus in Christ. He could notwrite us off without writingoff His own Son, and Hewould never do that! Trustin Christ, and eternity will be nothing to worryabout!

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