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What is Chris*an Coaching?

Frequently asked ques/ons and answers about Chris/an coaching

By Rev. C. Sco, Gress Mdiv, MSL, ACC

Copyright©2014byC.ScottGress

PublishedbyScottGressMDiv,MSL,ACC,scottgress.com.Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,storedinaretrievalsystem,ortransmitted,inanyformorbyanymeans,electronic,mechanical,recording,orotherwise,withoutthepriorpermissionoftheauthor.

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Table of Contents

Introduction Page5WhatisthefoundationofChristianCoaching? Page6Whatiscoaching? Page7IsCoachingBiblical?Canitevenbe“Christian?” Page8WhataresomecoachingelementsintheBible? Page8IscoachingsinfulorisitablessingfromGod? Page9WhatmakesoneaChristianCoachandwhatistheirmindset? Page9WhatassumptionsdoestheChristianCoachhaveaboutthepersonbeingcoached? Page10Wheredidcoachingcomefrom? Page10Howdoescoachingwork? Page11Howiscoachingdifferentfromotherhelpingskills? Page12 Consulting,Teaching Page12 Counseling,Mentoring,Pastor,Advisor, Page13 Coach,chartingthedifferences Page14Whenshouldcoachingbeused? Page15Whataboutusingcoachingforpastoralcare? Page15Whatplacecancoachingbeusedinleadingachurch? Page15Arethereanystandardsoroversightintheworldofcoaching? Page16Some“Commandments”forChristianCoaching Page17ConcludingThoughts Page20BibliographyofsomecoachingbooksfromaChristianperspective Page21Abouttheauthor Page22

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Introduc*on

“Coaching”isawordthathascomeintopopularuseinrecentyears.Variouskindsofself-described“coaches”haveemerged,advertisingwhattheydoascoaching.Someofthemisunderstandingofcoachingisabasicconfusionwiththeworditself.Isitsomeonewhotellssomeonewhattodolikeasportscoachcallingintheplays?Orisitsomethingelse?Thentherearetheassumptionsandimpressionssomefromtheworldofcoachinggiveabouttherationale,powerandinYluenceofthecoachandthepersonbeingcoached.Itisnowonderthatpeopleareskepticalornegativeaboutcoaching.

Thefollowingpagesseektoanswersomeofthemostfrequentlyaskedquestionsaboutcoaching.ThegoalistoclarifyanddifferentiatecoachingfromotherhelpingskillsaswellastodeYineanddifferentiateChristiancoachingfromotherswhopracticecoachinginourworldtodaywhomaynotbefollowersofJesusChrist.

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What is the founda*on of “Chris*an” Coaching?

“Therefore,thereisnownocondemnationforthosewhoareinChristJesus.”Romans8:1NIV.

“IconsidereverythingalosscomparedtothesurpassinggreatnessofknowingChristJesusmyLord,forwhosesakeIhavelostallthings.Iconsiderthemrubbish,thatImaygainChristandbefoundinhim,nothavingarighteousnessofmyownthatcomesfromthelaw,butthatwhichisthroughfaithinChrist—therighteousnessthatcomesfromGodandisbyfaith”Philippians3:8–9NIV.

“Therefore,ifanyoneisinChrist,heisanewcreation;theoldhasgone,thenewhascome!”2cor5:17NIV.

ItallbeginswiththegospelofJesusChrist.Itisentirely“inChrist”thattheChristiancoachYindstheirsalvation,identity,theirbeingandwhatfollows,whattheydo.Whatthatendsuplookinglikeforacoachissomeonewhoprovidesthe“gracespace”forthecoachingclienttoexplorewheretheyare,wheretheyneedtobeandhowtogetthere.

Itisonly“inChrist”thatwecantrulybeforgiven,dietoselfandliveforothers.Andinthecoachingrelationship,dyingtoselfiscritical,foundationalandnecessary.“It’snotaboutyou”isaphrasethatYitsespeciallywellforthecoachingrelationship.Thepointisthatknowingwhoyouare“inChrist”andalso“whose”youare,istheplacetobegin.ItisfromthatplacewherethecoachcantrulydevotethemselvestoJesusandthepersonacrossfromthemand“do”thebestkindofcoachingthatwillservethecoachingclientfortheirhighestgood.

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What is coaching?

Tobegin,wearenottalkingaboutsportscoaching.Wealsoarenottalkingabouttellingsomeonewhattodo.Rather,coachingisahelpingskillthatinvolvesafocuseddialogueprimarilythroughquestionsonthepartofthecoach.

VariousdeYinitionsofcoachinghavebeendevelopedtodescribemorepreciselywhathappensduringacoachingdialogue.

“Partneringwithclientsinathoughtprovokingandcreativeprocessthatinspiresthemtomaximizetheirpersonalandprofessionalpotential.”FromtheInternationalCoachFederation.

“Coachingisunlockingaperson'spotentialtomaximizetheirgrowth.”“Coaching...ishelping[people]tolearnratherthanteachingthem.”JohnWhitmore,inCoachingforPerformance

“CoachingistheartandpracticeofguidingapersonorgroupfromwheretheyaretowardthegreatercompetenceandfulYillmentthattheydesire.”GaryCollins,inChristianCoaching

“Coachingispracticingthedisciplinesofbelievinginpeopleinordertoempowerthemtochange.”TonyStoltzfus,inLeadershipCoaching,theDisciplines,HeartandSkillsofaChristianCoach

“MentoringisimpartingtoyouwhatGodhasgivenme;coachingisdrawingoutofyouwhatGodhasputinyou.”DaleStoll

“Coachingishelpingpeoplegrowwithouttellingthemwhattodo.”

“[Coachingis]helpingpeoplediscoverwhattheycouldnotdiscoverontheirown,sotheycanbecomewhattheywanttobecome.”AubreyMalphurs,inMaximizingYourEffectiveness

WiththesedeYinitions,coachingcaneasilyapplytomanyinstanceswhereoneistobehelpedandsupportedinone’sdevelopmentbyanother.Thereforecoachingcanbeofserviceinmanyarenasoflife.Thespectrumcanrunfromaninformalonetimeconversationtoalongertermformalcoachingrelationship.

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Is Coaching Biblical? Can coaching even be “Chris*an?”

TheBibledoesnotusetheword“coach”nordoesitspeakofcoaching.YettherearenumerousexamplesofthishelpingskillreYlectedinvariousconversationsintheBible.TheymaynotbeawholecoachingconversationyetpartsandpiecesoftheelementsofacoachingconversationarepresentinmanyoftheinteractionsintheBible.

Coaching Elements in the Bible GodseeksAdamandEveinthegardenandcalls,“Whereareyou?”(Gen3:9).GodsaystoCain,“Whyareyouangry?”and“WhereisyourbrotherAbel?”(Gen4:6&9).CertainlyGodknewtheanswerstothesequestionsbutinkeepingwithwhatwemaycallgoodcoaching,Godasksthesequestionsforthehearer’sbeneYitratherthantosimplygaininformationormakeapoint.Thesequestionsserveahigherpurpose,toraiseawarenessinAdamandCainaboutwhathashappenedsotheyunderstandtheseriousnessofwhattheyhavedone.Youmayevensaythatitisinthebroadercategoryofpreachingthelawasthehearer,inthiscaseCain,couldcometoanawarenessofhissinandguilt.

WhenJethrojoinedupwithMosesheobservedhowMoseswasmanagingthejudgmentforthepeople.Jethrobeganwithaquestion,“Whatisthisyouaredoingforthepeople?”Thentherewasafollowupquestion,“Whydoyoualonesitasjudge,whileallthesepeoplestandaroundyoufrommorningtillevening?”(Ex18:14).ThiscausesMosestoanswerhimandtrytoexplain.Itdoesnotsayhowlongthisdialoguegoeson.YetonemayinferthatthisexplorationofthefactsandthequestionbyJethrothatithelpedMosestobeopenmindedtowhatfollowedfromJethro,speciYicallysomepracticaladviceaboutdelegationandmanagingthework.

Nathanemploysthemetaphorofthepoormanandhisyoungewelambin2Samuel12.ThisledtoDavid’sawarenessofhisownsinandtheseriousnatureofwhathehaddone.IfNathanhadsimplysaidtoDavid,“yousinnedagainstGod”inadirectway,likesomanyotherprophetshavedone,itmaystillhavehaditsintendedeffect.YetinthiscasethestoryormetaphoroftheabuseofthepoormangotpastDavid’spotentialdenialofhisownsinandpowerfullyconvictedhimwhenNathansaidtohim,“youaretheman”(2Sam12:7).

Incoaching,thereisagoalof“connectingthedots”andhelpusseebeyondourownblindspotsordenialthroughquestionsthatdirectustothinkinwayswemaynothavethoughtabout.

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InLuke10Jesusansweredaquestionwithaquestion:“OnoneoccasionanexpertinthelawstooduptotestJesus.‘Teacher,’heasked,‘whatmustIdotoinheriteternallife?’26‘WhatiswrittenintheLaw?’hereplied.‘Howdoyoureadit?’”inLuke9JesuswasprayinginprivateandhisdiscipleswerewithHim.Heaskedthemthequestion,“WhodothecrowdssaythatIam?”ThenJesushadafollowupquestionaftertheiranswers.“Butwhataboutyou?WhodoyousayIam?”Thiswasameanstoteachandalsoameanstogetpeopletothink.Itwasnotmanipulative,buthelpfultoguidethemthroughthethinkingprocessandowningtheiranswers.

Is coaching sinful or a blessing from God?

WehaveanappreciationforGod’sgiftsinmanyareasoflife(James1:17).ManythingsYlowfromGod’sgracioushandasHeprovidesforeverylivingthing(Psalm145:16).InthatsenseGodprovidesHisgiftslikecounselingandteachingandalsocoaching.Inthissense,coachingcanbeChristianaslongasaChristianpracticescoachingfromthepostureandassumptionsofaChristian.

Furthermore,wewouldnotrejectoutofhandcoachingassinful,unholyorpatentlyunchristianjustbecausesomenon-Christiansapplyunchristianoranti-Christianassumptionsorprinciplestotheircoaching.Inthesameway,wewouldnotrejectcounselingoutofhandjustbecauseSigmundFreudorCarlJungorsomeotherearlyinYluentialpsychologistpromotedsomeunbiblicalorantichristianpsychologicaltheories.AswithanygiftfromGoditcanbeabusedorappreciated,acurseorablessing.

What makes one a Chris*an Coach and what is their mindset?

ForthecarefulChristianwhoalsoisacoach,theywillrememberthatanyonewhohasbeenbaptizedbyChristhave“putonChrist”(Gal3:27).Theywillseethemselvesas“inChrist”(Rom6,8;2Cor5:17,19;Eph1:3).Theywillholdtothepromisethattheyareconnectedtothevine,ChristJesusandproducefruitthroughHim(John15;Luke19:11-27;Mark11:13—14;Eph2:10).Thisfruitisnotbytheirownstrengthorbytheirowntrainingorwisdomasacoachoranythingelse,butonlyinChrist.

Thisperspectivemakesaworldofdifferencewhenthecoachinteractswithothersingeneralbutevenmoreimportantlywhentheyareinacoachingrelationship.TherewillbeloveanddevotiontotheonebeingcoachedasareYlectionofhowGodrelatestous.“WelovebecauseHeYirstlovedus”(1John4:19).Thefruitofthespiritwillbeevident(Gal5:22&1Cor13).Therewillbeaspiritofhumilityasthecoachconsidersothers“betterthan(them)selves”Phil2:3.Therewillbealosingofones-selfinservicetotheonebeing

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coachedandtheywillbringaspiritofworshiptoallthattheydo(Eph5:20“givingthanksineverything”andCol3:17“doingeverythinginthenameoftheLordJesusChrist”).Itwillnotbeaboutthemascoach.Thefocuswillbeonservingtheonewhoisbeingcoached.

What assump*ons does the Chris*an Coach have about the person being coached?

WhetherthepersonbeingcoachedisaprofessingChristiansornot,theChristiancoachseesthemaspeopleforwhomChristdied(John3:16).Coacheswillunderstandthattheyandtheonesbeingcoachedarenotperfect,buttheywillalsounderstandthatJesusdiedforbothofthem.ThatmeansthatbotharepersonsthatGodlovesandseekstoforgive.ThisviewofGodtowardstheotherwillcausetheself-aware,matureChristiancoachtonotfallintomanipulation,controllingbehaviors,orotherwisehaveunhealthyattitudesorboundarieswithrespecttothepersontheycoach.

Oneprominentcoachingschooladvocatesahighviewofthepersonbeingcoachedaswell.Theysaythatpeopleare“naturallycreative,resourcefulandwhole.”AsChristianswewouldputitdifferentlyofcourse.Wemightsaythatpeopleare“naturallycreative,resourcefulandwholeonlythroughChrist.”

Co-authorofFaithCoaching,ChristiancoachChadHallwritesinhisblogthroughCoachApproachMinistries(http://ca-ministries.com/a-respone-to-gospel-coach)thatsomereactwithstrongnegativitytocoachingbecauseofwhattheyperceiveaspreconceivedinherententanglementofcoachingwithhumanismwhereitteachesthatpeoplearebasicallygoodandneedtolookwithin.NottruefortheChristianCoach.HallsaysthatChristiansmaylookwithinto“discoverhiddenstrengths,latenttalent,unusedknowledge,unappliedwisdom,dormantvalues,andself-evidentevidencethattheirlifeisnotaligningwith(thescriptures).”Butnotfortheirowngoodnessandneverforsalvation.

Where did coaching come from?

Historically,Socrateswasknownforhisquestionstoengagethestudents.Itwasaformofinquirywherebyquestionswouldbeusedtostimulatecriticalthinkingandilluminateideas.Socratic,thought-provokingquestionsareacornerstoneofcoachingastheyfacilitatethinkingoutloud,developcriticalandcreativethinkingandthereforepromoteselfdiscoveryandlearningbytheonebeingcoached.Thenquestionsarealsoemployedasameansbywhichthosethoughtstranslateintointentionalchoicesandbehaviors.

VickieBrockPhDwroteinhergroundbreakingwork,SourcebookofCoachingHistoryandspeaksofthehistoryofcoachingbytracingitbacktowhatshecalls“root”disciplinessuch

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associoeconomictheories,philosophy,psychology,business,sports,adulteducationandotherdisciplines.EachhastheirinYluenceintheemergenceofcoachinginthetwentiethcentury.Yetshecreditssportscoachingasthecatalystthatbroughtcoachingitsownidentity.ThussheobservesthatcoachingisahybridYieldthatitselfnowbranchesoutintolifeandbusinessspecialties.

AccordingtoBillDueease,writingforthePeerBulletin172in2009,theterm“coaching”begansomewhereinthelate1880’sinthesportsYield.Thenin1972W.T.GallweywroteTheInnerGameofTenniswhichrepresentedtheYirstmajortransitionfromsportscoachingwithcontrolandteachingtoinsteadfacingthechallengethattheopponentwithinisoftenmoreformidablethantheopponentinthesportsmatch.SirJohnWhitmorebelievedthat“GallweywastheYirsttodemonstrateasimpleandcomprehensivemethodofcoachingthatcouldbereadilyappliedtoalmostanysituation”(Dueease,2009).

Inrecentdecades,coachingappearedinthelate1970’sinthebusinessworld,seeminglyasaresponsetochangesinleadershipmodelsandbusinessculture.Theninthe1980’scoachingbegantoappearoutsidethebusinesscontext.Inthe1990’scoachingbegantoemergeasadistinctdiscipline.Anexampleofthisisthefoundingin1995oftheInternationalCoachFederation,themostwidelyrespectedcertifyingbodyforcoaching.

How does coaching work?

Whensomeonecomestoyouforhelp,whatisyourimmediatereaction?Youwanttohelp.Thispersoncomestoyouandasksaquestionandyoutrytoprovidetheansweroratleastthinkoutloudwiththemtocomeupwithyourbestguessorbestideaastowhatwouldmosthelpthem.Ifyouarealawyer,accountant,plumber,mechanic,pastororotherspecialist,youseektoanswertheirquestionsoutofyourspecialty.Thatisnormalandinmanyinstancesexactlywhatisneeded.

Andwhatoftenhappens?Manytimespeoplerejectotherpeople’sadvice.Why?Simplyput,itisnottheiridea.Itmaynotbewhattheywanttohear.Itmaynotbewhattheyexpectedtohear.Theymaynotbereadytohearit.Inshort,thesuccessrateofpeoplehearing,understanding,acceptingandabsorbingandactingupontheadvicethatisgivenisrelativelysmall.Certainlythereareexceptions.Oftentimeswegototheexpertforadvice:doctors,lawyers,etc.Yeteventherehowmayofusheedtheadviceoftheprofessional?Wedon’tlikehearingthatwehavetolose25poundsandsoweresistwhattheysay.

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Coachinghelpspeopleaskthemselvesnewquestions,tothinkinwaysoutsideoftheirnormalpatterns,and“puttwoandtwotogether”sothattheyseewhattheyneedtodo,decidewhattheyneedtodecideandtotakeaction.

Forexample,whatdocalledworkersdowhentheyreceiveacallintoministry?Anumberofthingsaredone:prayer,scripturereading,andthecounselofwisefriendsandadvisors.Yettherearealsootherapproachesthatareoftenincluded.Howmanypastorsconsideringacalldidn’twritedowntwocolumnsofthepositiveandnegativereasonsforacceptinganewcall?Howmanyofusappreciatedthequestionsthosewisefriendsandcolleaguesaskedus?Perhapsitwasaquestionsomeoneaskedusthatledtoourdecision.Perhapsitwasthewaysomeonesummarizedwhatwejustsaidandwehearditcomingbacktousinanewway.Thensomewherealongtheway,thefogblowsawayandthedecisionbecomesclear.Theremayevenbean“ah-ha”momentwhereclearthinkingemergedandthedecisionbecameself-evident.Thosefriendswhoarewiseknowtheycan’t“tell”theirfriendwhattodo.TheyarenottheHolySpirit!Yetinthesesituationsmanyfriendsandcolleagueswillhelptheonewiththecallto“thinkthrough”thedecision.Inmanywaysthisisveryclosetowhathappensduringcoaching.Someonecomesalongsidetheotherandservesasa“thinkingpartner”toassisttheothertogetunstuck.Thoughtinthisway,coachingisnotsoforeignafterall!

How is coaching different from other helping skills?

Consul/ng

Oftentheconsultantiscalledintohelpanorganizationtoanalyzetheirsituationandhelpthemdetermineawayforward.Theyaskquestions,gatherdatabutintheendtheydeliverareportwithrecommendations.Theytellsomeonewhattodooutoftheirexpertise.

Teaching

Ateacherisoftenviewedastheonewhostandsinfrontoftheclassandlecturesaboutasubject:Math,science,history,etc.Thecaricatureofateacherissomeoneinfrontofaclassroomorlecturehallwhopresentswhattheyknow.SotheyaretheexpertintheirparticularYieldandtheyhelpthestudentsbytellingthemmoreaboutthesubjectathand.Tobesuregoodteachersaskrhetoricalquestionsoftheclassyettheprimaryexampleofateacheristhatofanexpertsharingtheirexpertisewiththeclassbytellingthemaboutit.Onceagaintheyhelpbytelling.

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Counseling

Whatdoesacounselordo?Theyareexpertsinmentalhealthandassistingpeopletomoveforwardoutoftheirpathologyorhurt.Thedifferencebetweencounselingandcoachinghasbeendescribedinthisway:thecounselorhelpsbringsomeonefromanegativeplacetoanormalplace.Thecoachontheotherhandbringssomeonefromanormalplacetoanevenmorefocused,productiveandeffectiveplace.

Coachingpresumesacertainlevelofmentalhealthandability.Whilesomemightviewworkingwiththecoachasremedialoranindicationthattheyareinanegativeplace,typicallythosewhoareinvolvedincoachingarethosewhowanttogetevenbetter.Socoachingisdistinctfromcounselingwhiletheremaybeanumberofcommonelements.

Mentoring

Inbusinessandindustryandeventhechurch,thetermisusedtodescribetheolderwiserpractitionerorpastorwhotakesayoungerprotégéeunderhiswing.Thementorhasthewisdomandexperience,theyaretheexpertintheirYieldandtheyhelpbytelling.TheymayalsoaskquestionsandmaytellstoriesyettheprimarybeneYitofthementoringrelationshipisthewisdomandexperienceoftheolder,wiserpractitionerbeingsharedwiththeyoungerprotégé.Theyalsohelpbytelling.

Pastor

TheaveragepersonobservepastorsstandinginfrontofthechurchorclassteachingtheBible.Arethereexceptions?Sure.Pastorsoftenengagein“pastoralcareandcounseling”wheretheygotothehospitalandmeetpeopleandspeakwiththemconYidentiallyabouttheirparticularspiritualstruggles.Theyaskquestions,theylisten,theycare,theyreadtheBibleandtheyprayandoftengiveadvice.Yetinthisinstanceandattheircore,thepastorisprimarilytheexpertbyvirtueofhistrainingandhehelpsbytellingpeoplethatexpertise.Theytoohelpbytelling.

Advisor

Whatdoesanadvisordo?BydeYinitiontheygiveadvice!Thisisanotherhelpingskillthatspeaksinformationinordertohelp.Inmanywaysitisageneraltermthatincludesmanyoftheabovehelpingskills.

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Coach

Thecoachbycomparisonhasasanexpertiseisinhisorhercoaching.Theyseetheotherpersonorclientashavingexpertiseintheirsituation.Afterall,thecoachwillnevercompletelyunderstandandappreciatethenuancesofthecoachclient’ssituation.Theycouldtellthecoachclientwhattodobutwilltheyreallyownitandactuponit?Theremaybehesitancyformanyreasons,onebeingthatthecoach(orinthiscase,theadvisor)doesn’tquitereadthesituationcorrectlyandsotheirdiagnosisandprescriptionareoff.Butthemaingoalisownershipandpassionatelymovingforward.Intheend,thecoachdidn’ttellthemwhattodo.Thecoachwasathinkingpartnerfortheirexploringandchoosingwhattodowhetherthestepwaslargeorsmall.

Withhelpingskillsotherthancoachingthereisatransferofinformationorlearningfromthehelpertothepersonbeinghelped.Wemaycallitadvice,wisdom,experience,teaching,andsoon.Eachhavetheirplaceandimportance.Yetwithcoachingtheexpertiseforthecoachisintheircoachingskills,notintransferringinformationorknowledge.Thereforethedifferencebetweencoachingandmanyotherhelpingskillsisthatthecoachhelpsbyaskingquestionsinsteadofhelpingthroughtellingorsharinginformation.

Considerthischartwhichillustrateswherethevarioushelpingskillsprimarilyreside:

Ingeneralthereisashiftwhenitcomestocoaching:• Fromtellingoradvisingtoaskingquestions• FromYixingorsolvingproblemstopromotingdiscovery,awarenessandintentional

choice• Fromassumingtheyneedyourexpertiseorthatyouaresmarterthantheyareto

acknowledgingthattheyknowalotandcansolvewhatitistheyarefacing.

I help by asking I help by telling

The other person (the person being helped) is the expert

• Coach

I am the expert

• Counselor • Teacher• Mentor• Consultant• Advisor• Pastor

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• Fromfeelingresponsibletoresolvetheirproblemtoleavingtheresponsibilitywiththepersonbeinghelped.

When should coaching be used and not used?

Wearenotsayingthatcoachingissuperiororshouldbeusedinplaceofallothers.ThereisadeYinitetimeandplaceforeachhelpingskill.TheyeachhavevalueforspeciYicneedsandsituations.Ifitisanemergencyortherearestricttimeconstraintsthencoachingisnottheanswer.Theleaderdoesnotcoachpeopleoutofaburningbuilding.Thiswouldbeatimesensitiveoremergencysituationandaleadershouldsimplytellpeoplewheretogoandhowtogetthere.Ifthereisaneedfornewinformationortechnicalknowledgethencoachingisnottheanswer.Sometimesclassroomlearningorreadingnewmaterialandcontentisthebestthingthatisneeded.Ontheotherhand,ifthereisaconcernforqualityormaximizingthelearningforpeopleandfacilitatingtheirforwardmovement,thencoachingisthebestchoice.

Can or should coaching be used in instances of spiritual or pastoral care?

IfaChristiancoachseeswhotheyareinChristasHisbaptizedchild,seesthemselvesinservicetotheother,andinloveseekstohelp,thencoachingcanbeapowerfulresourceoradditionaltoolforthecaringspiritualshepherd.Whileproclaiminglawandgospel,teachingtheBible,catechesis,pastoralcarewillbestandarditemsinthepastor’stoolkit,therecanalsobeaplaceforcoaching.ItisyetanotherwayofengagingpeopletothinkabouttheirspirituallifeandrelationshiptotheirGodandSavior.Whatwillthatlooklike?Itwillmostlikelylooklikeashiftfrom“telling”peoplewhattodotohelpingthemthroughdeeplisteningandquestionstohelppeoplethinkthingsthrough.ItisawayforthemtoconsiderwheretheyareandwhereGodwouldwantthemtobeandthendeterminewhattheywilldo,empoweredbyChrist.ItisawaytocourageouslyinvitethemtobeintentionalinwhattheywilldoinbeingfaithfuldisciplesastheyrepentandbelieveandfollowJesus.Thuscoachingisnotareplacementorasuperiorwaytobeafaithfulshepherdyetitisanadditionalapproachthatmayprovehelpfulinmanycases.

What place can coaching play in leading a church?

Muchoftheday-to-dayworkofchurchlifeinvolvesworkingwithpeopleinorganizingprojects,programsandotherformsofwork.Itinvolvesmeetingsthatareformalandinformal,planningandencouragingpeoplewhomaybeexperiencedleadersorthosewhoarejustgettingstarted.Ineachofthesesettings,coachingisapowerfulresourcetoservethosewhoserve.Howcancoachinghelp?TheChristiancoachleaderwillengagewith

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peoplewithaBiblicalandtheologicalworldviewandthelargerperspectiveofwhatJesuswantsforHischurch.TheChristiancoachingleaderwillassistpeopletoassumeappropriateresponsibilityandgrowintheirknowledgeandskillsandactuallydowhatisneeded.TherewillberespectandanhonoringofthegiftsthatGodprovidesbothtothepastorandthepriesthoodofbelieversthroughgoodChristiancoaching.

Thatmaylooklikethepastortakingacoachapproachbyengaginginthedialogueinthecouncilmeetingorboardmeetingwithquestions.TheywillhelpthegrouptothinkabouttheissuewithGodinmind,withthegreatergoodofthecommunityinmind,withthechurch’ssharedvisioninmind.Itmayalsolooklikethecoachingleaderaskingclarifyingquestionsnotonlyabouttheissueathandbutalsoafterthesolutionisagreedupon.Forexampletheycanaskwhowilldowhatandwhensothateveryoneisawareofwhathasbeendecidedandexactlywhatcanbeexpectedorexactlywillbedone.ThisisusingcoachingskillsforthebeneYitoftheministrywithouttheleadertellingwhatshouldbedoneandthussettingthemselvesupasthepersontobeagreedwithorchallenged.Powerplaysanddependencyareavoidedandthereisbroadownershipofthesolutionandactionsteps.Allofthesearehealthywaysthechurchcanlivetogetherandmoveforward.

Are there any standards or oversight in the world of coaching?

TheinternationalCoachFederation(ICF)beganin1995andhasestablishedalistofcoachingcompetenciesandethicalstandardsforcoaches.Theyhavealsoestablishedaprocessofevaluatingandcredentialingcoachesbaseduponthosecompetencies.Furthermoretheyworkwithcoachingeducationalentitiesgrantingtheirapprovalshouldtheircoacheducationalcontentandprocessconformtothosecompetenciesandstandards.Overtheyearstheirprocesshasbeencontinuallyupdatedandtherequirementsareconsideredquitedemandingandrigorous.Theirwebsiteisawealthofinformationaboutcoachingandgivesaninsightasintothegrowingprofessionandpracticeofcoaching.http://www.coachfederation.org

ThecompetenciesforcoachingthattheICFidentiYiesare:1. SettingtheFoundation

a. Meetingethicalguidelinesandprofessionalstandardsb. Establishingthecoachingagreement

2. Co-creatingtherelationshipa. Establishingtrustandintimacywiththeclientb. Coachingpresence

3. Communicatingeffectivelya. Activelistening

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b. Powerfulquestioningc. Directcommunication

4. Facilitatinglearningandresultsa. Creatingawarenessb. Designingactionsc. Planningandgoalsettingd. Managingprogressandaccountability

Some “Commandments” for Chris*an Coaching

Coaching is not a replacement for preaching or teaching God’s Word.

Coachingisawonderfulhelpingskill.Thisdoesnotmeanthatthereisnoroomforpreachingorteaching.Christiancatecheticaleducation,BiblestudyandpreachingaremainstaysofthewayoftheChristian.Havingsaidthattheoppositeisalsotrue.WhenonehasBiblestudyandthepreachingoftheWord,thereisalsoaplacefordialoguewherepeoplecanworkwithanotherforgrowthanddevelopmentasChristiansandasthosewhoseektofulYillacertaincallingorvocation.Forexample,“ironsharpensiron”(Prov27:17),certainofYicesinthechurchworkto“prepareGod’speopleforworksofservice”(Eph4:12),andwearecalledtoencourageoneanother(Ron12:8;1Thes5:11;Heb10:5andothers).Thereforethereisalsovalueintheconversationandconsolationofthebrothers.Theseotherelementscanbeprovidedthroughdialoguethatlooksandsoundslikecoaching.

Coaching is not for every situa/on and is therefore not a cure all.

Ifthereisanemergencyortimeconcerns,coachingisnotadvisable.Inthesesituations,whichareoftenunavoidablebeforehand,thevoiceofauthorityneedstospeakforthesafetyandwellbeingofothers.“Walkquicklyandcalmlytotheexits”toavoidaYireneedstobesaidbyonevoiceforalltohearandtakeheed.Yetifthegoalispersonaldevelopmentormaximizingthelearningthencoachingiswelladvised.Thisallowstheonewhoistodevelop,learnorgrowtowrestlewiththerelevantmaterial,informationorfactsandintegratethemintotheirlivesandbehavior.

Coaching is not manipula/on or leading them where you want them to go.

Agoodlawyerasksquestionsofwhichheorsheknowstheanswer.Thenagoodlawyerwillguidethewitnesstothetestimonytheywanttohear.Notsowithagoodcoach.Coaches

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bestservetheircoachclientsbytakingadvantageofwherethecoachclientisalreadymotivatedorinterested.Thistakesadvantageofthepre-existingbuyinoftheirinterestorconcern.Tothatendthecoachwillinquireofwhatitistheywanttoaccomplishandaskquestionstoattainnewinsightsordiscoveriesthatwillinspirethemtonewactions.

Ifthecoachwantstotellthemwhattodoandmerelyusesquestionstotakethemthere,thenthatisnotcoaching.Itismanipulation.Thecoachbestservesthecoachclientbyadvocatingfortheclientandtheirinterestorconcern,notthecoach’sinterestorconcern.Havingsaidthat,thecoachcancertainlybringupwhatthetwomayhaveincommonandidentifyvaluesandbeliefsthatwillpotentiallyshapetheoutcomeofthecoachingconversation.Forexample,ifbothcoachandcoachclientareChristiansthenitwouldnotbemanipulationforthecoachtoaskthecoachclienttonametheboundariesofBiblicaltruthsandsounddoctrinethatwillshapewheretheywanttogo.Inthatcaseitisacknowledgingwhatisalreadytrueforthem.Havingsaidthat,aChristiancoachworkingwithsomeonewhoisnotaChristianwillnotwanttobeapartytocoachingsomeonetowardanactionordecisionthatisnotGodpleasing.Inthatinstancethecoachwillbeupfrontandhonestanddeclinethecoachingrelationshipandbearwitnesstotheirfaithwiththepersonbeingcoached.

Coaching through ques/ons does not equate to being soF on sin or dispensing cheap grace.

Ifonethinksthatquestionssomehowrelievethepersonbeingcoachedfromfacingtheirsinisamisconceptionaboutcoaching.Justbecausethecoachdoesnot“preach”atthepersonproclaiminglawandgospeldoesnotmeanthatthis“proclamation”isnottakingplace.RefertothecaseofGodseekingoutAdaminthegardenandyouYinddeepconvictionofsinthroughGod’squestioning.Questionsareoftenverychallengingtoanswer!Askingsomeonetospeaktotheircurrentrealityofsinandthentoconfesswhatbroughtthemthereishumblingandshameful.Tobeacoachaskingthosequestionsandmanyotherstakescourage!Agoodcoachhasthecouragetoaskquestionsthatchallengeassumptions,putthemonthe“hotseat”torethinkwhattheyaredoingandwheretheyaregoing.Questionsencourageonetosearchtheirassumptionsorwhattheyaredenying.ItinvitesonetogaugehowwhattheyarethinkinganddoingcoincideswithGod’srevealedwillandHisdesiretobegraciousandmerciful.Questionscanindeedpreachlawandgospel.

Coaching is not only dialogue through ques/ons.

Yes,theprevailingactionsbythecoachisaskingquestions.However,itismuchmorethanthat.Thereislistening,observing,andacknowledgingwhattheyaresayinganddoingandthereforeafYirmingthem.Thereareclarifying,reYlectingandsynthesizingstatementsby

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thecoachthataregivenwhichoftenbringtogetherwhathasbeensaidovermanyappointments.Thereareindeedtimesfordirectmessageswhichspeakthetruthinloveandthecoachwillattimesbeidentifyingactions.Coachinghasbeendescribedas“co-active”propositionwherethepersonbeingcoachedistheprimarypartnerinthecollaboration.Thereforecoachingisnotjustaskingquestionsbutinvolvesotherelementsinvolvedinadialogueandtherelatedskills.

Coaching should be dismissed because it takes too long. People should just accept the truth as it is told to them and act upon it.

Wewishthatthingscouldbethatsimple.However,weknowfromourownexperienceandresearchthatpeopleoftendonotacceptwhatanothertellsthemanditisinfrequentlyputitintopractice.Ifthiswerenottrue,thendoctorscouldcountonsimplytellingtheheartpatienttochangetheirdietandlifestyle.Pastorscouldcountonsimplytellingpeopletobearwitnesstotheirfaithandthepeoplewouldquicklyconform.Yethumanbeingsandhumanrelationshipsdonotworkthatway.ThisisparalleltothetruthfromRomans7:8,“sin,seizingtheopportunityaffordedbythecommandment,producedinmeeverykindofcovetousdesire.”Inotherwords,oursinfulnatureresistsadmittingsinandoftenthatresistanceturnstorebelliousnessindoingwhatisforbidden.Orevenmoreplainly,whenwearetoldwhattodo,wesometimesactlikechildrenanddotheexactopposite.

Yes,coachingtakestime.Yetincarefulcoaching,withtheelementsoflisteningandaskingquestionswecanunearththecoreissueswhichmaynothavebeendealtwith.Shortadvicegivingconversationsorsupervisionseemsto“cuttothechase”andtellpeoplewhattheyneedtodo,butunlesswelistentowhatisreallygettinginthewayanddealwithitthenwewillbelookingatthesameproblemoverandoveragain.CoachingthereforeisgoingslowatYirstinordertomovemuchfasterinthefuture.Coachingprovidesrealprogress.Itishardwork.Ittakestimeandpatience.Yetoncedealtwithprogressmovesrapidly.

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Concluding Thoughts

Coachingisnotsonewafterall.Itisacombinationofthingsthathavebeenusedformillennia.Listening,askingquestionsforvariouspurposes,guardingtheagendaofthepersonbeingcoachedfortheirownsake,challengingtheirassumptions,reYlectingbackwiththem,andthenaskingthemwhattheywilldoasaresultofthedialogue.YetitisnotsimplyanotherconYidentialconversationwithafriendbutasystemofworkingwithpeoplewheretheymaintainresponsibilityfortheirthinkingandactionsandwherethecoachisthepartnerwhosupportstheminthejourney.ItisYlexibleenoughtobeusedeitherinformallyorformally,oneononeorwithgroups.Coachingisforthesakeofgreatergrowth,developmentandproductivity.ItcanbeusedformundanethingsorsigniYicantlifedecisions.Coachingisablessingtobereceived.

Coaching,likeanythingelsecanbeusedforgoodorforevil,withgoodintentorforbad.Itcanconformtoone’spreconceivedworldviewwhetheritbeChristianornot.YettheChristianwhoisalsoacoachhastheblessingofbeing“inChrist”wherethereislawandgospelyetthegospelpredominates.TheChristiancoach,empoweredbyChrist,canbringatrue“gracespace”tocoachingwherethereisnotonlypersonalgrowthbutspiritualgrowthasthepersonbeingcoachedintentionallygoesforwardempoweredbyChrist.

Ifyouhaveotherinsightsintocoachingorotherquestionsaboutcoachingthatwecanaddtothisvolumeof“frequentlyaskedquestions”pleasesharethemwithusatscottgress@me.com.

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Bibliography of some coaching books from a Chris*an perspec*ve:

Collins,G.(2002).ChristianCoaching.ColoradoSprings:Navpress

Creswell,J.(2006).ChristCenteredCoaching.St.Louis;LakeHickoryResources

Hall,C.,Copper,B.,McElveen,K.,(2009).FaithCoaching.Hickory,NC:CoachApproachMinistries

Miller,L.,Hall,C.,(2007).CoachingforChristianLeaders.St.Louis:ChalicePress

Stoltzfus,T.(2005).LeadershipCoaching.VirginiaBeach,VA:www.Coach22.com

Stoltzfus,T.(2008).CoachingQuestions.VirginiaBeach,VA:www.Coach22.com

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About ScoG:

ScottGressservesasleadershipcoachandcoachtrainer,consultantandleadershippresenter.

ScottgraduatedfromConcordiaSeminarySt.LouisandreceivedhisMastersofDivinityin1988.Priortoseminaryheearnedabachelor'sdegreeinmarketingandworkedforADP,AutomaticDataProcessing.InDecemberof2003hecompletedaMastersinOrganizationalLeadershipfromPalmBeachAtlanticUniversitywherehewasalsonamedtheoutstandinggraduateoftheMacArthurSchoolofLeadership.HehasservedasanadjunctprofessorofOrganizationalLeadershipatPBAU.

Scottbeganhisformalcoachtrainingin2006throughTheCoachesTrainingInstitutetotaling122hours.In2009hewascertiYiedasaTransformingChurch’sNetwork(TCN)consultant.HeisamemberoftheInternationalCoachFederationfromwhichheiscertiYiedasanAssociateCertiYiedCoach.HehascontinuedtogrowasacoachthroughInternalImpact,with60hoursofadvancedcoachtrainingearningtheirGlobalCertiYicateinLeadershipCoachinginMarchof2013andCoachApproachMinistry'sCoachingasBrainBasedLearningin2015.

Scotthasservedasaparishpastorafterhisordinationin1988,circuitcounselorfor11yearsandFirstVicePresidentoftheFL-GADistrictbrieYlypriortoservingasaspecialcoachconsultanttotheFL-GADistrictandDirectorofCoachingforTCN.TodayScottiscalledbyLutheranCounselingServicesofOrlandoFLandcontinuestoservetheFL-GAdistrictandthewiderchurch,non-proYitsandothers.Heisanindependentcontractorinleadershiptraining,consulting,coachingandcoachtraining.

ScottandhiswifeMariahavetwosons,NathanandStephenandresideinSouthFlorida.

YoumayfollowScottonhisblogatscottgress.com,andcontacthimtostrategizehowhecansupportyourgoalsthroughasamplecoachingsession.561-542-4472orscottgress@me.com.

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