whitman pioneer - spring 2011 issue 6 backpage
DESCRIPTION
The backpage for the 6th issue of Spring 2011TRANSCRIPT
March 3 2011 P!"# $
JUMBLE TIME! Dear Puzzlephiles,
I, slut, was out o% town this weekend and was therefore unable to create the crosswords that turn me on oh-so-much. Pressed with a deadline, I opted for a lesser, easier and ultimately more base form o% puzzling—the JUMBLE. Though this might not satisfy everyone’s raging puzzle desire, fear not, a crossword will be coming your way next week. Until then, the answers are here, and enjoy the jumble!Love,Adam “Slut-slut” Brayton
G R I T M O D O M E A
B O T A A P O D I M P
A T E N R E N E N A P
I M G O I N G O L I N
O G T N O S A P
U H F L I E S E T T U
R E I D E M A N D W E E P
S Y N C E R I E R S A
T E C H F M L
H A V E N O F O U T S
P E R N A I L M A T E
A R T C cr E E O S O S
L E S E M U S S E P T
COMICS
ANSWERS TO LAST WEEK’S PUZZLE
QUESTION: What do you call a nosy pepper?G L O H U S
B U N O A D
D R E H A L
At Around: Female, BlondeRed hoodie. You're really cute. I can't wait to see you in
psych tomorrow.
S D I A R N
L E R N AY
S A L O B T
I R D C E P
P O L J AY
Put on some real pants. You’re in public. People can see you. Save the Snoopy %lan-nel for the bedroom.
wants to see your dirty feet. And on that note, going barefoot to the Penrose bath-rooms is never acceptable.
-ing them over pants, %ine, at least you rec-ognize that it’s cold out. But ladies, please don’t wear your Uggs with short skirts. Pick a temperature to dress for, honestly.
camping trip, lose the convertible pants. You’re not going to need to change that shit up that fast. It’s either pants or shorts: pick one and move on.
time to put your XC sweatshirt to rest. I% you’re going to represent a team you don’t
cycling sweatshirt.
from Mercer Island. You can't get any less gangsta than that.
leggings in 3rd grade. Those blue Scottie-dog leggings were the shit. And as much as we wish we could still wear leggings every day, we’re not about to start. La-
wisdom that we can impart on you be-fore we leave, it’s this: leggings as pants are not %lattering on anyone over 10. Put on some pants, for Chrissake. (The Back-page editor would like to add that she oc-casionally wears leggings as pants ... Her housemates told her it would be okay ... )
The Fashion Police
Dear Whitman:
A message from
the fashion police
With housing and roommate situations becoming less of a question mark and more of an exclamation point, The Backpage has decided to come up with a list to help our fellow stragglers who don't know where/with whom they'll be living. (Disclaimer: Choose roommates at your own risk. The Backpage is not responsible for murderous
roommates or roommates who constantly want to “settle” “Catan”.)
Guide to choosing a roommate
kanye
Boyfriends are
like rush hour
IN THE FUCKING
tweet of the week
Grape says:
8 hours ago
Lucuma says:
12 hours ago
ILLUSTRATION BY BRAYTON
Guy who loves all his classes
Guy who hates all his classes
Sluts
Porn connoisseurs
Dude who showers once a week
Shut-ins
Anyone who can't hold his/her liquor
Furries
People who turn 21 before you
People with large DVD collections
People with hot friends
Anyone who relieves stress by cleaning
Dude with car
Dude with gaming console (and is willing to share it)
Girl who took the class last semester and can help you
In our years at Whitman College, we’ve seen some pretty egregious fashion choices. The Backpage’s comment on the abundance of !lannel on this campus really hit the mark, and we thought we might collect a few of what we believe to be the most important fashion tips we can impart to you, gentle readers.
We pay 50,000 dollars/year for our education. That's a lot of money for a piece of paper. We should be
to do, such as:
letterfromlucuma
ILLUSTRATION BY ALDEN
ILLUSTRATION BY SONG
Real Talk THE LIBERAL ARTS EXPERIENCE
AIM AVOID
Giggles!
Get drunkHave casual sexSocialize/drink/sleep in the libraryCreep on FacebookCreep on PeopleSearchStart watching new TV shows
Mack on likealittle
Bake cookies/cupcakes/cakeGreen dot duck rape
Get egged by towniesBarely get a 3.0Pre-game excursionsSunbathe on AnkenyUse the sauna
Dink aroundCurse like a sailor