ISSUE 7 | March 8, 2012 | Whitman news since 1896

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Recently faculty deci-sions have motivat-ed a desire amongst

students to become more in-volved in Whitman’s hir-ing process. The dance de-partment is no exception.

The decision not to renew Instructor of Modern Dance Vicki Lloid’s contract has pro-voked surprise and concern from Whitman students in-volved in the dance depart-ment. The department is cur-rently entering a transition pe-riod; current Ballet Instruc-tor Idalee Hutson-Fish will be retiring after this school year, and the administration has hired Peter De Grasse to take her place. The search for a ten-ure-track position in dance will soon begin, as part of the plan to create a dance major and minor at Whitman.

In light of de- pa r t me n t

changes, Provost and Dean of Faculty Tim-

othy Kaufman-Osborn will be sending a letter out to students enrolled in dance classes to de-tail the courses being offered next year. Beginning and inter-mediate courses will continue as before, but advanced ballet and advance modern will be combined into one advanced course. Each of these cours-es will remain a one-credit ac-tivity course. The department will also offer a four-cred-it course with a more academ-ic focus called “Dance Per-formance and Composition”.

“This is a time of change in the college’s program in Dance. We are grateful for the long service of Vicki Lloid and Idalee Hutson-Fish, and we are excited to have Peter de Grasse come to Whitman next year and to be able to of-fer academic credit in Dance for 2012-13. The follow-ing academic year, 2013-14, promises even more growth for the program,” Kaufman-Osborn said in an email.

Lloid heard of the de-cision not to rehire her on Wednesday, Feb. 15 when she had gone to a meeting with Provost and Dean of Facul-ty Timothy Kaufman-Osborn about an entirely different sub-ject. She was not expecting the news. The administration de-clined to comment on the rea-son she wasn’t hired back.

When Lloid told stu-dents in her modern dance classes about the hiring de-cision, many were surprised. Junior Hensley Fradkin was especially taken aback.

“Vicki and I have de-veloped a friendship. When she told us she was fired, I was devastated. I couldn’t believe it,” she said.

First-year Mcebo Mazi-ya was especially surprised that Lloid’s dismissal oc-curred after so many years of service to the school.

“Everyone was in shock. She’s an asset to the college and a skilled choreographer. She has single-handedly cre-ated the modern dance pro-gram at Whitman,” he said.

Fradkin and sever-al other students have writ-ten a letter addressed to Kauf-man-Osborn, President George Bridges and Division Two Chair Rebecca Hanra-han. They have also set up a meeting with Kaufman-Os-born for this Friday, March 9 to express their concerns.

“I want to be careful about what we’ve said be-cause we’re not attacking the administration. We just want to understand [their de-cision] better,” Fradkin said.

Students are particularly concerned with the manner in which this decision was made.

Sophomore Geneva Bah-rke wished that students were more involved.

“I feel that the lack of involving stu-dents and [current] faculty in the crea-tion of a dance major is disrespectful and it hurts the develop-ment of the depart-ment,” said Bahrke.

Senior Emi-ly Hanscam com-pared hearing about Lloid’s dismissal to finding out the Var-sity Ski team was going be cut her dur-ing her first year.

“The department is undergoing a trans-formation without stu-dent input, and the process is done i n a sudden and

quiet way,” she said.K a u f m a n - O s b o r n

emphasized that the de-partment’s changes will lead to more academ-ic course offerings in dance.

“As we build on this first step in future years, the Dance program will attract not only students who wish to perform, but also students who are in-terested in dance as a subject of academic inquiry,” he said.

Though they feel that adding a more academic fo-cus could strengthen the de-partment, both Lloid and her students are skepti-cal of the possibility of cre-ating a dance department with only one instructor.

“[It] means that there is more specialization and less opportunity for students to ex-periment in areas they haven’t had a chance to look into,” Lloid said. “For instance, stu-dents at Whitman have the op-portunity to perform in a dance show, which can teach them a lot about themselves. I don’t know if where they’re headed is going to make the arts less accessible to students. It seems like that’s what they’re do-ing, that they want to make the arts more an academic pursuit and less a living art pursuit.”

Fradkin feels that dancers could have difficulty expand-ing their dance vocabulary.

“It would be great to draw a different group of people to Whitman, but my question is: How do we have a diversity of classes with just one style?”

Ultimately, Frad-kin and several other stu-dents hope the administra-tion consider give Lloid the opportunity to work with De Grasse during this transition-al period for the program.

“I’m excited for the new program, but concerned that the sudden firing of Vicki shows a break from what’s currently happening, which is a good program,” said sophomore Kari Paustian.

Senior Chapman Strong also feels that the new pro-gram should incorporate el-ements of the old program.

“I think establishing a dance major is a great thing and it could bring diver-sity with new people, but that doesn’t mean we should eliminate the program we have already. They should build off of each other,” he said.

Patrick Henry, a re-tired faculty member, said that keeping Lloid on staff during the transition-al phase would benefit the program’s future growth.

“Peter De Grasse will be an excellent addition to our dance program, but Vicki should be retained at her half-time level to work with Pe-ter, show him the ropes and take the program to the next level,” he said in an email.

In their letter they wrote to the administration, students

a l s o e m -phasize L l o i d ’s cross-disci-plinary style as an example of the liberal arts values Whitman strives to have. They feel that these values are an important contribution to the department.

It reads: “Rather than di-rect her classes towards the most experienced stu-dents, Vicki cre-ates classes that bring together students of vari-ous dance back-grounds and lev-els of techni-cal skill, while still challeng-ing both types of students ef-fectively, a per-fect application of the principles of a liberal arts college which aims to fos-ter a wide range of personal growth.”

Tess Gal-lagher, a poet who has worked with Lloid in many dif-ferent perfor-mances, also cites Lloid’s approach to dance as tru-ly collaborative.

“The students got to meet po-ets, musicians and artists in Vicki’s sweeping control of multiple medi-ums. They learned how these various elements could be

woven into movement and overlapping voices and ap-pearances. Their enthusi-asm was so refreshing. Eve-ryone seemed caught up in the dream of what was being given,” she said in an email.

Maziya and many oth-er dance students hope that their voices will be heard.

“It’s concerning that we’re the last to know while it affects us students most.”

Laura Curtis has been teaching piano at Whitman since 1997.

She holds a master’s de-gree in music, in-

structs around 35 students per se-

mester and is often

busy from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.

with les-

sons, re-

hears-als,

practic-ing and

accompa-nying. For

this, Cur-tis can ex-

pect to earn a little more than

$20,000 per year from Whitman.

Curtis is one of Whitman’s music teach-ing assistants: instructors who are hired on a per-se-mester or per-year con-tract basis to teach pri-vate lessons. Currently, students pay $300 per se-mester per credit of in-struction, with one cred-it equal to a half-hour pri-vate lesson per week over the course of the semes-ter. Music assistants re-ceive $264 per credit they teach. The remainder of the fee covers employer relat-ed payroll costs such as so-cial security, Medicare and worker’s compensation. An instructor with teach-ing 40 half-hour lessons is considered to be employed full-time by the college, and would earn a sala-ry of $21,120 before taxes.

Susan Pickett, chair of the music department, explained that although an instructor working full time would only have stu-dents 20 hours a week, many instructors have oth-er time commitments as part of their job. Group les-sons, unpaid accompany-ing and preparation for re-citals all take up substan-tial portions of time for many faculty members.

“That is, by cus-tom, part of the job of teaching music,” she said. “These group recit-als and classes are an ex-tra part of the work.”

These extra pieces of work can add up. Music assistant Robyn Newton said that during the first two weeks of the semester, she often works from 8:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. because she has to find music and recordings for all of her students. On top of these hours, Newton has worked other jobs during the 13 years she’s taught at Whit-man. She used to work from 7:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. as an optician, then come to Whitman and teach voice from noon until 6 p.m.

“Most adjuncts have two jobs,” she said. “It’s not something that you can really make a liv-ing doing. The only rea-son you would do it is be-cause you love it so much.”

Provost and Dean of Faculty Tim Kaufman-Os-born explained that Whit-man’s fee rates are de-signed to be competi-tive with similar colleges.

“We really try to rely on what similar institu-tions are offering,” he said.

Walla Walla Univer-sity currently offers music instructors $350 per semes-ter, and all but one other Panel of 14 school current-ly offers more than Whit-man’s $300. Pickett said that largely because of this, Whitman is plan- ning to ra ise music fees to

$350 starting in the fall 2012 semester. Of this, instructors will receive $310 per credit taught.

Kaufman-Osborn said that setting music fees is complicated, because charging too much might keep students from be-ing able to take lessons. However, he acknowl-edged that paying facul-ty and staff a fair wage is important to the college.

“Leaving aside all of the complications of teach-ers of musical instruments . . . if Whitman is not paying a living wage to someone, then I think in principle that’s a problem,” he said.

Not all music assis-tants work full time for Whitman. Many instruc-tors teach less common in-struments, such as oboe and French horn, and have only a handful of stu-dents. Some only work for Whitman for a few semes-ters. But regardless of how

many students they have, their level of education or the number of years they’ve worked for Whitman, all assistants sign more or

less the same contract.“The exact same pol-

icy applies to someone who’s worked [at W h i t m a n] for 12

y e a r s , ” said Curtis.

K au f m a n - O sb or n e said that paying instruc-tors more based on their experience would fur-ther complicate the fee system. He acknowl-edged that the current flat fee system could be seen as unfair to some in-structors who have been at the college for years.

“It’s a legiti-mate question,” he said.

As part of their agree-ment, music assistants teaching at least 30 cred-its are eligible for benefits on a prorated basis with 40 lessons being 100 percent full-time. At 40 lessons, Whitman would pay 100 percent of the employee’s health insurance premium.

The number of cred-its an instructor is teach-ing is calculated based on enrollment on the tenth day of the semester. Any instructor who is be-low the 30-credit mini-mum on this day would lose health insurance cov-erage for the semester.

Curtis lost her in-surance coverage once,

a few years into her ca-reer at Whitman when she dipped below 30 credits for one semester.

INSTRUCTORS WITH NON TENURE-TRACK POSITIONS WORK AT WHITMAN WITH NO JOB SECURITY; DANCE, MUSIC DEPARTMENTS FACE REPERCUSSIONS

by RACHEL ALEXANDERSenior Reporter

by KARAH KEMMERLYNews Editor

Sudden dismissal of danceinstructor causes concern

Adjunct music instructors work long hours for low pay, uncertain benefits

$300Current student music fee per credit (one half-hour lesson).

$264Amount of this fee an instructor receives.

$21,120Amount that an assistant music instructor working full time (40 credits per semester) currently earns in a year, before taxes.

30Number of credits an assistant instructor must teach to be eligible for health insurance.

75Percentage of full-time hours an assistant music instructor must teach to be eligible for health insurance.

44Percentage of full-time hours an adjunct professor in a different department must teach to be eligible for health insurance.

$350Music fee starting fall 2012.

NOTABLENUMBERS

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Should Walla Walla do away with glass recycling? This was the question present-

ed to attendees of a Sustainabili-ty Committee meeting on Tues., March 6 at the Walla Walla City Hall. The committee accepted pub-lic comment regarding the current glass recycling program and re-solving to bring concerns and ide-as from the community before the City Council to assist in their up-coming decision for the program.

“The sustainability commit-tee vetted [the program] over the course of about six months last year and determined that the cur-rent program really is not sus-tainable by any definition of the word: economically, environ-mentally, or [from a] social equi-ty standpoint,” said Sustainabil-ity Coordinator Melissa Warner.

The city of Walla Walla re-moved glass from its curbside col-lection program in 2008, instead placing several drop-off points for glass products around town. Since then, the city has collect-ed almost 1000 tons of glass from

these depots, all of which has been brought to the Sudbury Land-fill to be crushed and used as sta-bilizer for asphalt roads. In past years, the city sent the glass on to a bottle manufacturer in Port-land, but rising gas costs and low market value for glass have made this economically infeasible.

“The glass market is low and very stagnant. It has been for probably the last 20 to 25 years. There’s not really been any kind of incentive for the glass man-ufacturing industry to purchase that material, particularly from jurisdictions like [Walla Wal-la] who have a collection [they] need to get rid of,” said Warner.

Walla Walla is not the only community in Washington strug-gling with an excess of emp-ty bottles; Spokane, with a pop-ulation nearly eight times that of Walla Walla, has also been stock-piling its glass over the past few years. In the nearby city of Yaki-ma, glass is ignored by the lo-cal recycling system and ends up in the dump with other garbage.

In Walla Walla, the incon-venience of having to trans-port glass to collection spots

discourages many business-es and community residents from participating in the system.

“If I had to guess, the ma-jority of glass in this communi-ty is already going into the land-fill,” said Sustainability Com-mittee member Sandra Cannon.

Some local business owners agreed that Walla Walla city poli-cy has given them little incentive to go to the effort of recycling glass.

“The problem that we’ve had over the years is that [glass recycling] has been inconsist-ent. It’s allowable at times, and then they shut it down . . . It’s so inconsistent we just kind of dropped it,” said Jim Moyer, own-er of Fort Walla Walla Cellars.

Ron Williams of Water-brook Winery felt similarly.

“The great tragedy is that Wal-la Walla does not [collect] glass. . . We occasionally try to take a truckload to the recycle [depot]. Even in that case they’re not re-cycling, they’re reusing,” he said.

Williams noted that while win-eries currently have no financial incentive to recycle their glass, the moral incentive still exists.

“I think more wineries in Walla Walla would really get be-hind [recycling] just because of the demographic. Many of us come from places where recy-cling is incredibly normal, so

it’s weird to come someplace where you can’t recycle,” he said.

At the Sustainability Commit-tee’s meeting, residents came to present their own ideas about the program. Among the proposed so-lutions were downtown glass art installations and campaigning for a statewide “bottle bill” which would require a refundable depos-it on all plastic or glass bottles.

City Council member Barbara Clark said she was encouraged by the strong community presence at the meeting, and hoped to receive more public feedback in the future.

“From my own perspective, the usefulness of having people [at the meeting] is that there are al-ways a few members of the coun-cil who think, why should we bother with recycling at all?” she said. “It is useful for the coun-cil to see that a lot of members of the public really want to see re-cycling happen and would like the city to at least keep looking into possibilities for recycling.”

Walla Walla resident Kurt Oth-burg said he makes use of the current glass recycling system and hopes to see it continued in some form.

“We’re dedicated glass recy-clers. We’ve liked this program since they started it four years ago . . . I think it’s a good idea [to re-cycle glass], especially because [Walla Walla] is the wine capi-

tal of the state. Can you imagine wine in plastic bottles?” he said.

Other residents have a person-al stake in the recycling program.

“When I was in college I helped canvas to get a bottle bill on the ballot, but outside money from bottle manufacturers outspent the public and got it defeated. I’d like to see [the city] recycle more. I want to leave our kids a better planet, rather than lots of overfilled landfills,” said resident Beth Pow-ers, also present at the meeting.

Whitman students also had ideas for the future of glass processing in Walla Walla.

“It would be cool if Whit-man offered jobs related to clean-ing out bottles [for reuse]. If you could get students volunteer-ing their time that would make things a lot easier,” said sopho-more Jenny Gonyer, who lives at the Outhouse and recycles weekly.

At present, however, no practical solutions seem immi-nent and the glass reuse pro-gram is still in jeopardy.

“Nothing’s really on the im-mediate horizon to find a differ-ent, better solution,” said Warner.

The council will deliber-ate on the issue in April and im-plement their decision in May. In the meantime, they will con-tinue to accept comments on its website through March 20.

NEWS

Walla Walla to shatter glass recyclingby EMILY LIN-JONESStaff Reporter

Kurt Othberg presents addressess Walla Walla’s Sustainability Committee with his questions about the glass recycling program. The committee will deliberate on the issue in April. Photo by Bernstein

A group of around 20 Walla Walla Democrats gathered in the First Congregational

Church tonight, March 6, to meet with John Culton, the Eastern Washington Director for U.S. Sen-ator Patty Murray. The meeting was moderated by Walla Walla city council member Barbara Clark.

Culton traveled to Walla Wal-la to hear the concerns of Wal-la Walla community members on behalf of Senator Murray. He is one of six regional directors in Washington State, and serves 12 counties in Eastern Washington.

Many at the meeting ex-pressed dissatisfaction with gov-ernment spending, particular-ly in regards to the Department of Defense budget. Senator Mur-ray serves on the Senate Budg-et Committee as well as the De-fense Subcommittee within the Appropriations Committee.

“I got a real sense of frustra-tion with how much we’re spend-ing with defense. . . in regards

to how much we’re spending on social services,” Culton said. “That is the crux of what I think this conversation was about.”

Several present also dis-cussed their frustration with United States funding of Isra-el and concerns over escalat-ing tensions between the Unit-ed States and Iran. The promi-nence of corporate lobbying in politics was also a major concern.

Culton said that he would re-lay the topics of discussion to Senator Murray’s policy advis-ers, and added that he was hap-py to see a community of Demo-crats in Walla Walla. He has ten-tatively scheduled a return to Wal-la Walla Thursday, March 22, as part of an ongoing effort to con-nect with Murray’s constitu-ents in Eastern Washington. Cul-ton was also interested in the possibility of a roundtable be-tween Senator Murray and Wal-la Walla community members.

“That this has been pro-ductive for you, I think that’s the biggest thing,” Cul-ton said about the meeting.

Senator Murray’s Eastern Washington Director visits Walla Walla communityby PATRICIA VANDERBILTEditor-in-Chief

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Music instructors’ health insurance not guaranteed “I couldn’t even keep my policy in-tact and pay for it myself. There was no option,” she said. “It both-ered me that there was absolutely nothing [Whitman was] able to do to help me out, even though I had taught there full time since ‘97, knowing that I was not leaving, that I wanted to continue to teach, that I wanted to have full time work.”

Not wanting to lose cover-age again, she opted to enroll on her husband’s insurance. Howev-er, he will turn 65 in five years, which will change his insurance to Medicare and will not cov-er Curtis. She said that at that point, she will probably have to go back to the Whitman plan.

Pickett said that in an ideal world, she would like to see Whit-man offer music instructors the option of prorated insurance pre-miums so that part-time instruc-tors would have some contribution by Whitman toward health and

dental insurance, even if they fall below 30 credits in one semester. However, she knows that Whitman is unlikely to change this policy.

“It would be a very ex-pensive proposition,” she said.

Curtis believes that Whitman could find the money to pay music assistants or cover their benefits.

It’s a reflection of priorities,” she said.

Pickett noted that the role that music assistants play in col-lege life is often overlooked.

“I think all of us at Whitman. . . students and administration alike, need to fully appreciate with almost every public event, the music de-partment is called on to provide mu-sic,” she said. “Our contract teach-ing staff represent a major force in the quality of those performances.”

Senior Carissa Wag-ner, a music major, said that pri-vate lessons help students get in-volved with music on campus.

“The way that most peo-

ple get involved with the de-partment outside of music ma-jors is performance,” she said.

Junior Madelyn Peterson is one of the many non-music ma-jors who have benefited from hav-ing music assistants available.

“Music has always been a re-ally big part of my identity,” she said. “When you’re working with your teacher, you’re really listen-ing to the nuances of the piece you’re working on. That’s when music really comes alive to me.”

Peterson believes that the contribution these teach-ers make is often undervalued.

“I think music teachers at Whit-man work really hard. They care about the work they do,” she said.

Newton said that al-though she often works long hours, she appreciates being able to teach college students.

“We get paid very little for do-ing a lot of work,” she said. “It’s a good thing we love what we do.”

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Finding a job post-graduation can be more difficult than finding an open table at the

library during finals week. With the right connections and an en-trepreneurial approach howev-er, Whitman students might be able to create their own jobs and turn their passions into a career.

First-year students Amy Shearer and Tim Reed aren’t wast-ing any time. This semester they created the Whitman Entrepre-neurs group to begin building the skills and relationships need-ed to turn their ideas into reality.

Unsurprisingly, both Shear-er and Reed are entrepreneurially minded. During a gap year, Reed spent six months in South Afri-ca attending the African Leader-ship Academy, a two-year school that enrolls African students from all over the continent with the hopes of teaching them entrepre-neurship and leadership skills.

At the Academy Reed start-ed a photography business and felt invigorated by the en-trepreneurial environment.

“Entrepreneurial people are amazing people to be around; they are a different breed to some ex-tent. They are willing to take risks and go for it, which I per-sonally really like,” said Reed.

Shearer’s entrepreneuri-al visions are quite different in nature. Ever since childhood, she has loved designing greet-ing cards. She hopes to turn this passion into a business by start-ing her own greeting card line.

Shearer and Reed were in-spired to start the Whitman Entre-preneurship group after realizing how many other Whitman students were similarly interested in devel-oping their entrepreneurial skills.

“Whitties are ideal entrepre-neurs. They have such a broad range of skills in so many dif-ferent areas, and they are really passionate about the things that they do,” Reed said. “So, it re-ally just becomes a matter of re-ally getting that going in a cohe-

sive and conductive manner.” Noah Leavitt, assistant dean

for student engagement and facul-ty adviser for Whitman Entrepre-neurs, insists that no matter what any student wants to do when they get out of college, they have to be thinking like entrepreneurs.

“There are going to be fewer and fewer positions out there that are established and set up that you can find and get yourself into,” Leavitt said. “It is going to be more and more the case that [jobs] are going to need to be developed, created, innovated and built.”

Leavitt stresses that Whit-man, despite not offering a for-mal business or accounting ma-jor, prepares students for en-trepreneurship through its lib-eral arts education, encourag-ing students to approach prob-lems analytically and creatively. The Student Engagement Cent-er, along with the college, seeks ways to further support students interested in entrepreneurship.

“Whatever Amy and Tim ask of us we’ll probably try to help make happen,” said Leav-itt. “There isn’t a lot of fo-cused attention [on entrepre-

neurship], and I think this stu-dent group will help change that.”

While Shearer and Reed have many ideas for future plans for the group, their primary goal is to support group members’ entrepre-neurial ambitions and interests.

“The cool thing about this group is that we really want to ca-ter it to the students’ interests that are involved. So the students are really helping us form the direc-tion of the group,” said Shearer.

One of the group mem-bers, sophomore Kristen Whit-tington, is toying with the idea of starting a bakery or lead-ing workshops centered around healthy cooking. Whitting-ton joined the group in order to learn more about entrepreneur-ship and make connections with local, successful entrepreneurs.

“A lot of the networking is a big thing for me,” Whittington said.

Whittington also looks forward to talking to peo-ple who have started their own businesses and succeeded.

“They are kind of like little cheerleaders,” said Whittington.

With the help of the Stu-dent Engagement Center, the

group already has a list of lo-cal entrepreneurs who are excit-ed to meet with the group. Last week the group met with Direc-tor of Academic Resources Juli Dunn, one of the owners of The Sweet Putt. Local entrepreneurs that the group might meet with in the future include the owners of Graze Restaurant, the Direc-tor of Walla Walla’s recently re-opened Small Business Develop-ment Center and a Whitman alum-na who started her own winery.

Shearer and Reed say that the Whitman Entrepreneurship group is not just for students inter-ested in starting a business. Stu-dents with any level of interest in entrepreneurship or who have a desire to turn something they are passionate about into a busi-ness or non-profit organization are encouraged to join the group.

“Entrepreneurship is about being really passion-ate about something and pursu-ing that full-heartedly,” Shear-er said. “Entrepreneurship can be so many different things.”

Whitman Entrepreneurs meets every Friday at noon in the Jewett Hall Main Lounge.

NEWSClub seeks to improve job prospects

by AMY HASSONStaff Reporter

NUMBERSIN THE NEWS

by SHELLY LENews Editor

6,776Number of people in Franklin County, Ohio who turned up to vote in the Republican Primaries in 2008.

2,712Number of people in Franklin County, Ohio who turned up to vote in the Republican Primaries last Tuesday.

56 Percentage of all Republican delegates presidential candidate Mitt Romney has allocated after the 2012 Super Tuesday Republican primaries.

59Percentage of all Republican delegates former presidential candidate John McCain claimed after the 2008 Super Tuesday Republican primaries.

$12,122,704Money spent on President Barack Obama’s presidential re-election campaign, including spending since 2008.

$55,986,173Money spent on Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign.

$5,224,376Money spent on presidential candidate Rick Santorum’s campaign.

$824,305.46Amount raised from July 1, 2011 to December 31, 2011 by Stephen Colbert’s SuperPAC Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow.SOURCES: FRANKLIN COUNTY BOARD OF ELECTIONS, NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO, THE NEW YORK TIMES.

Under the leadership of three female students and a counselor, a recent-

ly formed campus group aims to promote positive body-im-age and self-love through open-ness, support and education.

Sophomores Katie Terto-cha and Michaela Lambert, junior Heather Domonoske, and counse-lor Tracee Anderson formed Body-Kind this semester to begin coun-tering negative body image with positivity and support. Body image issues silently pervade the Whit-man community, according to An-derson. BodyKind hopes to end the silence surrounding body im-age by encouraging open dialogue.

“For the last 20 years I’ve worked at Whitman, issues around eating, body image and self-worth have always been a re-ally important part of students’ lives and a really unsettling part of most students’ lives I’ve had contact with,” said Anderson.

The idea for a body im-age group came from Ander-son, fellow counselor Sha-ron Kaufman-Osborn and As-sociate Dean of Students Bar-bara Maxwell, who all had spo-ken with many students about body image and eating disorders.

“We all got our heads togeth-er and decided, ‘let’s try to get something going’ and there was a lot of excitement and interest from the student body,” said Anderson.

Early this semester Tertocha, Lambert and Domonoske devel-oped the framework for BodyKind. The group will include three com-mittees working toward its goals of openness, support and education.

The three committees are pas-sive programming, active pro-gramming and training. The pas-sive programming will use t-shirts, posters and sticky notes to spread messages of self-love around cam-pus. Active programming is ex-pected to include documenta-ries, art exhibits or student pan-els and the education commit-tee will conduct Green Dot type trainings to promote a continuing climate of positive body image.

With this internal club or-

ganization, BodyKind hopes to bring attention to the impact of culture and language on how stu-dents feel about their bodies.

“Our campus is so focused on being active and being healthy that we tend to integrate a lot of negative body talk that I think really brings down the posi-tive body culture that we should be striving for,” said Lambert.

Domonoske chose to get in-volved after realizing the im-portance of getting support for

body-image issues in high school. As a resident assistant in Jew-ett Hall, she became even more aware of the impact of self-im-age and eating on students’ lives.

“Living in a freshman dorm, there is a lot of public eating, public bathrooms and public mirrors, so you hear a lot more comments than you would living with one sibling or two siblings,” said Domonoske.

Domonoske, for exam-ple, frequently heard com-mentary about food choices.

“I have a lot of friends that will make comments here that they eat healthier at Whitman than they do at home just because there’s the salad bar, and everyone else is eating salad. So there is this, ‘Oh I should eat salad, and I should eat healthy,’” said Domonoske.

The group hopes to become a resource that supports stu-dents while creating a cultur-al shift that makes dialogue about body image issues safe and open.

“We’re not going to stop peo-ple from dealing with the is-sues but hopefully just make them more comfortable in deal-ing with them,” said Tertocha.

Currently, BodyKind is try-ing to get more students in-volved in the group and in the broader project of creating a cul-ture of healthy body-image.

“If someone feels like it’s important to care about them-selves, then they should join the group,” said Tertocha.

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by ALLISON BOLGIANOStaff Reporter

BodyKind promotes positive body image

Eric Schlosser, author of “Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the American

Meal,” will deliver the commence-ment speech for the class of 2012.

Schlosser is also the author of “Reefer Madness: Sex, Drugs and Cheap Labor in the American Black Market,” a 2003 book on the history and trade of marijuana, la-bor conditions of migrant work-ers and the pornography industry. Schlosser’s investigative journal-ism has appeared in many nation-al publications including The At-lantic Monthly. He received a Na-tional Magazine Award in 1995 for his magazine article, “Reefer Mad-ness,” and is currently working on a book, “Command and Control,” about the state of nuclear threats.

“It’s an honor to be giving the Commencement speech at Whit-man this year,” said Schlosser in a Whitman College press release. “During my previous visits to the campus, I found the students real-ly impressive and their commit-ment to sustainability encourag-ing. I think Whitman is a real gem.”

Author of ‘Fast Food Nation’ to speak atgraduation

by PATRICIA VANDERBILTEditor-in-Chief

ASWC MINUTES

3/4REQUEST OF $850 FROM TRAVEL & STUDENT DEVELOPMENT FUND TO SCREEN THE SHORT FILM “BAD DOG” BY ZACHARY ELLENBOGEN AND WILL WITWER REQUEST PASSED: Y: 15 N:0 A: 4 CONFIRMATION OF BO ERICKSON AND CHELSEA KERN AS BLUE MOON EDITORSVOTE PASSED: Y: 16 N:0 A: 3

CONFIRMATION OF HANNE JENSEN AS QUARTERLIFE EDITORVOTE PASSED: Y: 16 N:0 A: 3

CONFIRMATION OF KAITY CURRY AS KWCW DIRECTORVOTE PASSED: Y: 16 N:0 A: 3 REQUEST OF $1610 FROM TRAVEL & STUDENT DEVELOPMENT FUND FOR SPRING BREAK CLIMBING TRIP IN RED ROCKS, NV BY CLIMBING CLUBREQUEST PASSED: Y: 16 N:0 A: 3

REQUEST OF $920 FROM TRAVEL & STUDENT DEVELOPMENT FUND FOR NATIONAL COUNCIL ON EDUCATION FOR THE CERAMIC ARTS IN SEATTLE, WASH. BY MEGAN OOST AND WILL NEWMAN-WISEREQUEST PASSED: Y: 16 N:0 A: 3 REQUEST OF $1584 FROM CONTINGENCY FUND FOR RADIO CONVERTER ($1,584) BY KWCWREQUEST PASSED: Y: 16 N:0 A: 3 CAMPUS CLIMATE CHANGE RESOLUTIONVOTE PASSED: Y: 16 N:0 A: 3

ILLUSTRATION BY BAILEY

First-years Draco Liu and Sarah Cronk listen to Director of Academic Resources Juli Dunn discuss entrepreneurship. Photo by Farrell

We opened a drive thru only sandwich shop on 9th Street in our catering building. We think you might like it.

You should try it sometime. We serve breakfast paninis and lunch.

It’s like fast food without the crap in it.

a drive thru for food

Text your order tothe drive thru

509-540-1261Monday-Friday 7a-3:30p

Mar

082012

PaGE

4A&E

“Hello Failure,” a come-dy written and direct-ed by Visiting Assis-

tant Professor of Theatre Kris-ten Kosmas, was performed from Thurs., Mar. 1 through Sun., Mar. 4 at Harper Joy Theatre.

The show, described as a “sprawling, associative, neo-realis-tic comedy of beauty,” centers on the story of seven submariners’ wives and the different ways in which they cope with the lack of their ab-sent husbands. While failure and the fear of failing are themes that loom large in the play, it also features ideas of a more optimistic nature.

“I think the play, in both form and content, is ultimate-ly about generosity, kindness, for-giveness and optimism,” said Ko-smas. “It is also about commonal-ity, what we have in common with other people even when we might feel alone or impossibly unique.”

Kosmas also comment-ed on her process in writing the play, which was first per-formed in New York in 2007.

“What’s interesting about fail-ure is the effort that precedes it, the repeated attempt to do something and have it work out,” she said. “I dis-covered there are all these little acts of heroism, or attempts at heroism, taking place every day, in normal life, and that discovery moved me.”

The play presented a chal-lenge for the actors due to its em-phasis on language rather than story.

“The shape of words and the flow of the dialogue take prece-dent over an actor’s internal work,” said sophomore Sam Halgren. “When this idea of working with language clicked, I felt wonderful.”

“We paid such careful at-tention to the script—punctua-tion, line breaks, particular word-ing—that it felt like an Eng-lish class sometimes, which I loved,” said junior Henry Nolan.

The experience of perform-

ing in the show proved rewarding.“At the end of this show, after

having experienced everything along with all the other characters, I always feel uplifted, like everything will be okay,” said senior Caitlin Goldie.

Audiences responded pos-itively to the play, express-ing their appreciation of its com-pelling and complex themes.

“As I watched the play, I kept thinking how confused I would be if I just read the script, but I felt like watching the performance al-lowed me to experience a lot of what was going on, even if I didn’t con-sciously understand it,” said first-year Mary Christensen. “I almost wish I could watch it a second time!”

“The simplicity was very appealing and allowed the au-dience to focus on the ac-tors and what they were say-ing,” said first-year Sabra Jaffe.

Overall, “Hello Failure” proved to be a thought-provok-ing and satisfying experience for cast, crew and audiences alike.

W alking through the cam-pus of a liberal arts col-lege, especially colleg-

es located in the Pacific Northwest, you wouldn’t be surprised to see a few tattoos, nose piercings or alterna-tive hair colors and styles. While un-usual personal expression and body modifications may seem normal-ized in a college setting, it’s easy to forget that tattoos were once taboo in mainstream society, confined to fringe elements like sailors and street gangs. Nowadays, teen idols casual-ly flaunt their latest ink in exotic lan-guages, and everyone from Angeli-na Jolie to the British Prime Minis-ter’s wife, Samantha Cameron, has been known to go under the nee-dle. Is the tattoo truly a thing of the past? The Pioneer investigated Whit-ties’ true feelings on tattoo culture.

Sophomore Taia Handlin ex-plained her motivations in get-ting her tattoo—a tree with roots placed between her shoulder blades.

“I’ve always liked body art; I’ve always sort of imagined getting a tat-too, and I sort of like the way tattoos look on people’s bodies, especially in movement. And well, this is a more cliché answer, but I get really bored with my appearance,” said Handlin.

Sophomore Bridget Te-scher also chose to get a tattoo of a rooster and an agate ge-ode between her shoulder blades.

“I am really into art and artistic expression, and so for me, a tattoo is just another medium to work with,” said Tescher. “I like that clichéd line, ‘Your body is a temple,’ because if my body is a temple, why not decorate it?”

The question remains—are tattoos really a shock-ing statement anymore?

“I’m from Portland, so I feel like

faux-hawks and tattoos are a dime-a-dozen,” said Handlin. “I don’t real-ly get that much negative judgment. I mean, people react definitely—I feel like with any extreme body alteration people definitely want to know why.”

One cause of divergent opinions on tattoos may be generational. In an online survey, 19 percent of Whit-ties responded that they had or in-tended to imminently acquire a tat-too, but 66 percent thought that hav-ing a visible tattoo would be a prob-lem for their future career plans, with multiple respondents adding that they would conceal a tattoo in an in-terview with a potential employer.

Faviola Alejandre, a first-year student considering a tattoo, ex-pressed her worries in this area.

“For me, one of the fears is that it gives the wrong image in job in-terviews. Like, I would never get an-ything too extreme. But one of the things I do like about tattoos is that it’s

a form of expression,” said Alejandre.“I definitely think it’s more

common for people to get tattoos now as opposed to our parent or grand-parents’ generation,” said Tescher.

However, generation-al divides are not universal.

“My grandmother saw [my tattoo] on Facebook, and her reaction was, ‘That’s re-ally cute!’” said Handlin.

In discussing tattoos, stu-dents’ opinions ranged widely, based on the type of tattoo, its lo-cation and its message, which lasts for life, barring laser removal.

“[It] can’t have cursive, script, any of that stuff. No stars, no hearts, no names, no faces, nothing in the middle chunk of your body and I don’t like wrist tattoos,” said first-year Per-ry Anderson. “If one of my friends was like, ‘Hey, I’m thinking about getting my grandpa’s name in script on my boob,’ I’d say ‘No, don’t do it.’”

F riday night I felt the call of Un-cle Sam and saw “Act of Val-or.” Even though the movie had

ONLY one thing going for it—the ac-tion. Man, was the execution flawless.

The plot, or rather lack of plot, really does not matter in this movie . . . at all. As we have seen this year, the Navy SEAL team is the go-team gang to save the world. “Act of Val-or” aspires to mix fact with fiction as real active-duty SEALs try to act

out a fictional plot. In short, a CIA operative gets kidnapped, and the rescue team uncovers a plot to try to smuggle terrorists into the Unit-ed States to set off suicide bombs in major cities. The only people who can save the day are, you guessed it, the United States Navy SEALs. This big budget recruitment movie roams the globe as the SEAL team jumps out of planes, swims onto moving submarines, shoots big guns to its heart’s content and kills the bad guys.

The movie attempts to mesh the real-life, active-duty NAVY SEALs and their amazing com-bat tactics with a big-budget Holly-wood movie. The action could not be better—bullets flying all over the place, and a well-aimed rock-et launcher never fails to blow a truck sky-high. All-in-all, the action and military technology are AWE-SOME! But this is not “The Artist,”

and, unfortunately, the actors speak.The acting is just plain terri-

ble and this fact is painfully obvi-ous from the get-go. When these tes-tosterone-loaded macho studs try to emote as the plot briefly throws families and relationships into the mix, the movie dies. In the end, the lack of acting and the abys-mal plot line doom “Act of Valor.”

However, in all fairness, you don’t go to a movie titled “Act of Val-or” expecting to see complex rela-tionships and tight dialogue; you go to see things blow up and true Amer-ican heroes defend the US of A! I en-joyed watching the film—if only I had another 50 pounds of mus-cle, I too could join the SEAL team and be one of the manly men in the movie. Not going to happen, so I’ll be content with watching these men shoot first, ask questions lat-er and defend our home. Hoorah!

F un. is the name of the band, and their latest al-bum Some Nights is just that.

After the breakup of his band The Format, lead singer Nate Ruess went on to create Fun. in 2008. Tues., Feb. 21 marked the release of their second LP, which was unfortunately leaked in advance. Despite this, the album has done considerably well, with its anthemic single “We Are Young” featured on Glee and hitting num-ber one on the iTunes song charts.

Ruess leads the band on vocals with ex-member of Steel Train, Jack Antonoff on guitar and trumpet. The trio is rounded out with musical re-naissance man and Anathallo veter-

an, Andrew Dost on vocals, piano, guitar, bass, keyboards, synthesizers, trumpet, drums, percussion and even the flugelhorn and glockenspiel.

Fun.’s strongest trait is its abili-ty to lyrically explore sad or dark top-ics and pair them with upbeat and even joyful music. It’s an odd com-bination—the mix of instruments, voice alterations, lyrics, melodies and background noises in this al-bum are entirely unpredictable and unexpected—but it all feels right.

Perhaps the best, certainly most well-known songs on the al-bum are title track, “Some Nights” and hit single, “We Are Young.” These feature a sort of pride in youthful stupidity and craziness with which most college students will connect. Flip on these songs

when you just feel like dancing.The undervalued gem of the

album would have to be “Out on the Town,” a bonus track. The lyr-ics are great, if a little dark, and the words are fun to sing along with. It’s also super catchy, so be pre-pared to have it stuck in your head.

The band does a good job of giving their album some variation by throwing in more than just the anthemic rock songs they do best. Songs like “Carry on” and “Why Am I The One” offer a soft and bal-ladic approach that give the emotions of Some Nights a little rounding out.

Not all the songs are perfect. Some are pretty cut-and-paste and a little repetitive, like “All Alright” or “It Gets Better.” Other numbers give the impression that the band may have had a little too much fun (pun intended) with the recording equip-ment. “Stars,” for example, starts out as a sweet, playful piece, but ends as a weird super-synthesized mess. This is not the norm, however. The rockers generally manage to tastefully play around with auto-tuned sounds with-out descending into Owl City territo-ry. Even the worst songs on this al-bum will have you tapping your toes and smiling through your sadness.

Every week, The Pioneer search-es out Whitties who bring an ex-

tra splash of fashion consciousness and sartorial daring to campus.

This week’s Style Spotlight: junior biology major Tom Vogt.

Style Soundbites

“I have a lot of different interests,—bike racing, being outdoors—and I don’t have a lot of money on the side for investing in fashion, so I tend to trawl a lot of vintage stores at home in Portland. So many of my most inter-esting pieces tend to have once been someone else’s. The jacket, I know that it’s Italian, but otherwise I’m not really sure. I feel like as tweed jack-ets go, this one is unique because it has these nice suede elbow patch-es. It’s really comfortable; it’s a great piece for fall and spring especially. The vest is another vintage store find in Portland. I think that vests are kind of an underused piece of menswear, because they can be very slimming and they really accentuate an athlet-ic build, which is something that a lot of Whitman guys have, because we tend to be a pretty active campus.”

“The tie was a gift from my brother; he’s a graphic designer, and so when he gives Christmas gifts, he usually likes to design packaging for them, as though they’re from some fiction-al company. I think that the skin-

ny tie can sometimes scream ‘hip-ster,’ which isn’t always the look I’m going for, but I think the combina-tion of the skinny tie with the more rustic tweed jacket is a nice look.”

“The shoes are local; I bought these a few weeks ago from Door Num-ber Two, the vintage store next to the Colville Street Patisserie downtown. I was really attracted to this kind of rich terra cotta color that they have . . . loafers are super convenient, you don’t have to tie anything up in the morning. I think that the combina-tion of the reds in the leather work as well with a pair of blue jeans as they would with a grey or a blue suit. I love this belt—this is proba-bly circa 1940s L.L. Bean. The bag is from a Seattle company called Fil-son; they’ve been making outdoor and workwear since the 1890s—al-ways made in Seattle—which I re-ally appreciate. It’s interesting that brands like Filson or Pendleton are undergoing kind of a renaissance in menswear—things that are seen to have heritage to them, or authen-ticity, are very popular right now.”

“I think if there’s one key to pull-ing off a beard, it’s that you have to avoid looking like you’ve just for-gotten to shave. The key to that is what most people call manscap-ing, or grooming. I think if you keep your beard trimmed to an even length and maybe trim some stray hairs, it lets people know you’re do-ing the beard intentionally and you’re not just getting lax in your person-al grooming. But I find [beards] to be way more convenient . . . it’s like having a blanket on your face.”

PIO PICKSEach Thursday, The Pioneer

highlights several events happening on campus or in

Walla Walla during the weekend. Here are this week’s picks:

Perspectives on Landscapes and AgricultureCampus Sustainability presents the latest in the cross-disciplin-ary “Perspectives on Landscapes and Agriculture” lecture series. Associate Professor of Anthro-pology Jason Pribilsky discusses “Landscapes of Remittances in the Ecuadorian Andes,” followed by a presentation from Assistant Professor of Geology Nicholas Bader, “The Agroecosystem: Landscape as Machine.”Thursday, Mar. 8, 7 p.m. Olin 130.

Fridays at FourWhitman College Fridays at Four Recital Series presents jazz pianist senior Billy Harbour, first-years Dylan Martin and Jason Morrison, Assistant Pro-fessor of Music Doug Scarbor-ough and local musician Gary Hemenway.Friday, Mar. 9, 4 p.m. - 5 p.m. Chism Recital Hall.

Seattle Concert CalendarHeaded to Seattle for break? Catch some live music! A couple concert recommendations:

The Pretty Reckless (grunge pop) Saturday, Mar. 17, 8 p.m. El Cora-zon. 109 Eastlake Ave. E., Seattle.

Kaiser Chiefs (indie rock)Friday, Mar. 23, 7 p.m. Showbox at the Market. 1426 1st Ave., Seattle.

‘Hello Failure’ presents graceful, life-affirming portrait of courageby ALEX HAGENStaff Reporter

The cast of “Hello Failure” (above) brings Visiting Assistant Professor of Theatre Kristen Kosmas’ play to life on the Alexander Stage of Harper Joy Theatre. The play explored themes of kindness and commonality in the face of failure. Photos by Felt

Tattoos colorful topic on campus

by CLARA BARTLETTStaff Reporter

Sophomores Bridget Tescher (left) and Taia Handlin (right) display their body art. The students discussed the personal reasons behind their choices to get tattoos. Photo by Felt

‘DJ Chandon’Chandini Gaur brings you the newest

hits in up-and-coming hip-hop and R&B. With occasional guest co-

hosts, DJ Chandon is part talk show, part musical exploration. Start your

weekend right and tune in!

Fridays, 5 p.m. - 6 p.m. On the dial at 90.5 FM Walla Walla and streaming live at www.kwcw.net. For requests,

call (509) 527-5283.GRAPHIC BY ALDEN

KWCW SHOWOF THE WEEK

Tom Vogt ‘13 (above) shares the stories behind his vintage clothing items and his tips on beard fashion. Photo by Beck

Navy SEALs valiantly struggle to act

by NATHAN FISHERStaff Reporter

ILLUSTRATION BY HWANG

‘Some Nights’ brimming with anthemic Fun.by MALLORY MARTINStaff Reporter

STYLESPOTLIGHT

Mar

082012

PaGE

5SPORTS

D espite a challenging game schedule, with games against some of the tough-

est competition in the nation, the Whitman baseball team is working hard to break out of a deep rut of consecutive losses.

Coming off a 2011 season with a final NWC record of 4-16, the team has already been show-ing some grit against tough oppo-nents this spring. Their NWC re-cord is currently 2-1 after a cou-ple of wins against the Univer-sity of Puget Sound last week-end; their overall record is 2-13.

“It seems like we’re having another typical Whitman year, but it’s anything but. Last year, we were playing the same teams and not even competing. This year we just ended a four-game series with one of the best teams in the nation, and, to be honest, should have won at least two of the games,” said junior Chris An-drews, who transferred to Whit-man in order to play baseball after a year at Santa Clara University.

After seeing such pro-gress already this year, the

team remains highly optimistic.“We’ve got them right where

we want them, we’ve final-ly solidified a lineup, and peo-ple are starting to figure out their roles,” said sophomore in-fielder and captain Cam Young.

Though in his third year coaching at Whitman, this is the first that coach Jared Hol-owaty has had a full team of his own recruited players.

“We’re all rising players. We’re so young; everyone’s up and coming,” said Coach Holowaty.

The team is motivated to change the trend that Whit-man baseball has fallen into.

“As a young team we’re def-initely trying to shatter the pre-conceived notions that every-one has about Whitman base-ball. When archives assistants write that we shouldn’t get fund-ing I think that fuels us,” said sophomore pitcher Tristan Gavin.

The team has set high goals for themselves, and sees them as realistic.

“We’ve got the guys—we’re a scrappy bunch—but we definitely have the abili-ty to win. It’s all a matter of execution,” said Andrews.

Men’s baseball fights long losing recordby SYLVIE LUITENStaff Reporter

Whitman cyclists seek new riders

Club sports: Spring home games

W hitman’s cycling team returns this year through the hills of

Walla Walla. Although the team competes and trains throughout the year, their true season begins this spring break. Traditionally one of Whitman’s best performing teams nationally, the cycling team is cur-rently focused on rebuilding as it copes with the loss of several excel-lent riders over the past two years. However, if there is one thing that is constant, it is the Whittie cyclists’ commitment to fun and excellence.

The team is working to get back to the national championship caliber that made them the 2010 Team Over-all National Champions. For the men and women, the goal is clear.

“My main aim is to get more riders on the team,” said team president David Hancock.

Unfortunately for the wom-en, finding first-years to build around has been difficult.

“There are no new freshmen girls, which is a bummer. Whit-man has always been known for our strong women’s team so that [lack of freshmen] is disappointing,” said team vice president Molly Blust.

It appears the reason for the lack of new riders may be a simple ironic by-product of the team’s success. “I have noticed that there is a really big intimidation wall between the rac-ing team and people who just want to come on rides” said Hancock.

The team, however, is extreme-ly welcoming and focused on fun.

“The greatest part about the

cycling team is you don’t have to be amazing to have fun. It’s more about the community,” said sopho-more cyclist Cameron Penner-Ash.

The training serves as a time for athletes to improve their rid-ing, but is also an important tool for bringing in and training new members. “A lot of us had nev-er raced before the team. I got my bike, and I didn’t really know what to do, but I went on a ride and re-ally liked it. All of the upper-classmen are really nice and re-ally good teachers,” said Blust.

“As far as training sched-ule, it’s very informal. Since cy-cling is an endurance sport, you want it to peak at conference or na-tionals,” said Hancock. Much like in swimming, the team must plan its day-to-day practice while keep-ing an eye on the bigger picture.

There is one scheduled ride a week on Fridays, but after that, it is up to the riders to build their own training schedule. As Han-cock explains, this open sched-ule is an integral part of the team.

“One of the realities is that everyone is on their own train-ing schedule. So the open sched-ule serves a dual purpose: it al-lows people to be intense and train hard while also encourag-ing less serious riders to come out.”

The cycling team will be spinning their wheels this week-end at a race in Corvallis, Ore. On the weekend of Mar. 31, the team will host The Whitman Om-nium, broken into three stag-es: a Saturday morning road race, an afternoon team time trial and a Sunday morning criterium.

by MATT TESMONDStaff Reporter

ULTIMaTE FrISBEEMen’s and Women’sv. Onionfest March 31, April 1v. Men’s DI Big Sky Conference Championships April 21, April 22

rUGBYMen’sv. North Idaho College April 14v. Alumni April 28Women’sv. Spokane Marmots April 14v. Eastern Washington U April 21

LaCrOSSEMen’sv. College of Idaho March 10v. University of Puget Sound March 25v. Pacific Lutheran University April 14Women’sv. University of Washington March 31

CYCLINGMen’s and Women’sWhitman Omnium March 31-April 1Tour of Walla Walla April 21-22

After bursting onto the North-west Conference golf scene last spring, the Whitman

Women’s Golf Team is looking to improve on a successful start to the season. Following a second-place finish in the NWC last year, the Missionaries have continued their exceptional play by captur-ing second place in the Fall Clas-sic earlier this year. According to Coach Skip Molitor, the suc-cess in the fall should pay div-idends as the season goes on.

“Success breeds success. It’s nice to have performances which you can look back on and gain confidence from,” said Molitor.

This past weekend, the team earned another confidence boost when they traveled to Wildhorse Country Club and battled through

adverse weather conditions to earn a victory over NAIA powers; College of Idaho and Lewis and Clark State.

In addition, the team is com-ing into the spring with months of training already boosting them ahead of the field. While some teams went into hiberna-tion over the winter, the Mission-aries took to the gym and par-ticipated in player-led workouts. Sophomore phenom Katie Zajicek, ranked tenth nationally in DIII golf, says the benefits of the work-outs go past just getting into shape.

“Team workouts got us to-gether and reminded us that we are a part of a team,” said Zajicek.

With individual sports like golf, it becomes easy for play-ers to only focus on their indi-vidual score and forget about the team. Team workouts reinforce the emphasis on group success, and remind players that their in-

dividual scores accumulate to a more important group score.

Junior golfer Tate Head was a part of the growing pains the pro-gram went through in its earli-er years, and couldn’t be happi-er with the current team camara-derie their group is thriving on.

“It’s been a lot of fun watching the team grow. My freshman year, we didn’t even have enough play-ers to field a full team,” said Head.

Nowadays, the Lady Mission-aries have their eyes on the Con-ference crown. With a team com-prised of mostly underclassmen accompanied by two stellar jun-iors, the sky is the limit for this young team. Look for the Mission-aries to continue their rise as they travel to Lakewood, March 10-11 for the PLU Invitational, and then Southern California, March 22-23 for the Spring Fling Invi-tational hosted by Augustana.

Women’s golf takes decisive first swings in spring seasonby PETER CLARKStaff Reporter

Survey: Whitties’ favorite spring sports

RugbyNationally, there

are 854 college clubs, 343 female and 511 male, regis-tered with USA Rug-by. Whitman has both fe-male and male club teams.

Whitman men’s rug-by team, the Reapers, is one of the best among the small liberal arts colleges in the Pa-cific Northwest. Practices are held Monday and Wednesday 4:00- 5:30 p.m. on Harper Joy Field. The team encourages everyone, regard-less of experience, to come play.

The women’s team, the Moth-erruckers, plays against Pacific Northwest college teams and wom-en’s clubs. The team practices year -round and is always looking for new players to join the rough and tum-ble. Interested players should join the team on Harper Joy Field for a fun practice Tuesday and Friday from 4:00-5:30 p.m. on Harper Joy Field.

UltimateWhitman’s Ultimate Frisbee

team plays in USA Ultimate sanc-tioned tournaments, and both the men and women competed in the 2011 Division I Pacific Northwest Conference Championship. Both teams are very competitive; the Sweets men are the highest ranked team from an NCAA Division III. Practices are held Monday and Wednesday at 4:20 p.m. and Sat. at

10:00 a.m. on the softball field.Lacrosse

Men’s lacrosse is part of the Pacific Northwest section of Men’s Colle-giate Lacrosse Associa-tion, which is a national organization of non-var-

sity college lacrosse programs. Current-ly, there are 213 col-

legiate men’s teams na-tionally who play through this organization. Practices are

held five days a week on An-keny Field from 4:00-6:00 p.m.

As part of the Northwest Wom-en’s Lacrosse League, women’s la-crosse competes against 15 oth-er private colleges and public uni-versities all over the Pacific North-west. Last season, they placed third in league. Since they are al-ready mid-season, interested new players can look forward to infor-mal scrimmages in the fall. Prac-tices are held five days a week on Ankeny Field from 4:00-6:00 p.m.

by SARAH DEBSStaff Reporter

Spring is in the air and Whitman students are eager to break out their sporting gear, gather friends and head to the playing fields. The Pioneer surveyed Whitties about their favorite springtime activities. Here are a few of the most popular activities and how students can get involved on campus:

SCOREBOARD

GOLFMen’sWhitman Three-Way 2nd March 3Women’sWhitman Three-Way 1st March 3

TENNISWomen’sVs. Pacific W; 9-0 March 2

BaSEBaLLMen’svs. Puget Sound W; 7-1 March 3Vs. Puget Sound L; 8-6 March 3

UPCOMING

GOLFWomen’sPLU Invitational March 10, 11 AWAY

TENNISMen’sv. Spokane Falls CC March 7, 4:30 p.m. AWAYv. George Fox March 10 AWAYv. Pacific March 10 AWAYv. Linfield March 11 AWAYv. Lewis & Clark March 11 AWAYWomen’sv. Lewis & Clark March 9, 4 p.m. HOME v. George Fox March 10, 11 a.m. HOME

BaSEBaLLv. Pacific Lutheran March 11 AWAY

Whitman cyclists line up for a quick photo before heading out for a ride. The team hopes to draw in new talent to maintain the success of the club. Photo by McCormick

Eli Mathieu ‘15 [left] and Jimmy Madden ‘14 [right] congratulate Kyle Moyes ‘14 [center] for scoring two home runs during a dou-bleheader against the Puget Sound Loggers last Saturday, March 3. The teams came away with one win each. Photo by McCormick

WHITMAN FEBRUARY SPORTS HIGHLIGHTSFebruary NWC Athletes of the Week: Alyssa Roberg ’13 of women’s tennis; Court-ney Lawless ’15 of women’s tennis (recognized twice); Peter Valentine ’15 of base-ball; Conor Holton-Burke ’12 of men’s tennis; Andrew LaCava ’14 of men’s tennis; David Michaels ’12 of men’s basketball (his fourth this year).

Highlights: Men’s tennis is currently eighth in NCAA Division III national rank-ings. David Michaels ’12 was named the NWC Men’s Basketball Player of the Year.Jenele Peterson ’12 of women’s basketball was named to the NWC First Team.

GRAPHIC BY OLMSTED

Mar

082012

PaGE

6FEATURE

Senior physics-astronomy major Alexe Helmke does not describe herself

as crafty, but when it comes to reusing, she gets creative. Her favorite project for which she reuses materials is her wine bottle candle holders.

“I’ve always thought that wine bottles look very elegant and beautiful on their own. I also am kind of a candle freak. So, at some point, I thought, ‘Why not put the two together?’” said Helmke.

Using wine bottles that she cleans and saves and cheap taper candles that she purchases from stores like Wal-Mart, Helmke creates her inexpensive decorations. First, she must melt the bottom of the candle with a match so that it will form to the neck of the bottle. Then she places the candle in the top of the bottle and lights it.

“After that, it’s pretty simple. You mostly just let the candle do its thing and melt,” Helmke said.

As the candle melts, the wax drips down onto the bottle and creates a patterned result which she enjoys.

Besides wine bottles, Helmke also uses colorful jars and other household containers from time to time. These work best for tea candles or votives, and add to her eclectic candle assortment.

Regarding her reasons for reusing, Helmke does not necessarily credit the Whitman atmosphere, though she does recognize that many other students reuse materials. Rather, she is motivated by personal ethics.

“I guess I try to reuse things just because it makes sense. Why buy something new when something you have will do the job, you know?” she said.

At Whitman, there is a general “green” vibe from the student body,

prompting many students to reuse and recycle due to personal ethical reasons. In February 2011, senior Kaitlin Cloud truly embodied the reusing culture with her decision to make a resolution to refrain from buying any new clothes for one year.

“Buying new clothes was more about ego than anything else, and so recognizing that, I think, really helped me to put it aside and think that this was an adventure,” said Cloud.

Cloud did admit that wearing old clothes for an entire year was difficult, especially when she was home in the big city of Seattle, as she was still “seduced” by the shopping and urban nature of the city. But remembering why she made the resolution and that it was a unique and challenging goal for herself helped her persevere and make it to the end.

It is now a little over a year later, March 2012, and Cloud has completed her resolution and “adventure” successfully.

“Even though I’m done, I’m still very committed to buying secondhand,” said Cloud.

With her resolution originating as a goal to learn to be personally fulfilled without buying clothes, Cloud still kept her ethical goals in mind, which has influenced her life after the resolution.

“Buying secondhand eliminates the resource pressures that I’m putting on the rest of the world, as far as transportation of goods and the ethics of where your clothes are made and supporting the giant textile industry.”

The culture of Whitman College has a reputation for environmental awareness

and being “eco-friendly.” While this may not apply to the entire student body, there are certain individuals who are dedicated to reducing, reusing and recycling. The residents of the Environmental Studies Interest House (referred to as “The Outhouse”) are passionate about reusing within their house and extend this commitment to the campus at large.

All nine of the Outhouse residents engage in reuse projects together, and many of these opportunities appear while the house does their weekly campus recycling rounds. For example,

they often find posters or calendars that they use to decorate their walls, and even tissue paper that some, like sophomore Jenny Gonyer, use to wrap presents.

“Doing recycling gives us the opportunity to reuse before we recycle,” said sophomore Andrew Patel.

Besides the reusable items the residents find in recycling, they have also found ways of reusing their own household materials. Sophomore Jenni Doering’s family reuses plastic storage bags, so when the house began receiving several of these bags at each house dinner, Doering took it upon herself to wash them out and make them available for the residents to reuse.

The environmentalists at the Outhouse have even found ways to reuse perishable

items like tea bags. Several of the residents use a bag two or three times before throwing it away, which conserves money and resources. As an added bonus, it even enhances flavor.

“People don’t realize that some teas, especially white and oolong, actually get more flavor after the third use,” said sophomore Cathryn Klusmeier.

To extend reuse beyond smaller items, sophomore Molly Simonson started a campus-wide “freebox” that sits on the Outhouse porch. Borrowing the idea from the successful box in her Colorado hometown, Simonson set out the cardboard box so that students can pass along possessions they no longer want, such as clothes, books and appliances, to other students who can continue to

use them. She instituted the project at Whitman because she believes the campus is generally in favor of things that increase environmental responsibility, but people often need to be given the opportunity to act.

“It’s easy to get environmental zealots on board . . . but we’re putting these things in place so that the people who normally wouldn’t engage in this kind of reuse can and do,” said Simonson.

Another all-campus reuse initiative that the Outhouse is involved in is the Mug Share group. Patel is one of a number of Whitman students working to make reusable “for-here” mugs available at the Reid Espresso bar. This effort would hopefully reduce paper cup waste generated by those who get coffee and then stay at Reid to drink it.

Evidenced by the plethora of projects happening at the Outhouse, it is a hub of reuse on campus. Many of the residents are partial environmental studies majors, and the shared mindset helps them to learn from one another and continue their efforts.

“Being around people who have similar ideals or goals as you do is always really, really helpful,” said sophomore Resident Assistant Ali Murray.

Reusing at Whitman is not purely based on the “green” ethics that seems

to circulate around the student body. Megan Oost, a senior art major, uses found objects to create her sculpture masterpieces.

“I looked at an old reclining lawn chair’s seat that mimicked the gestures I was using in clay,” said Oost, describing her first realization that found objects may fit into her artwork well.

For Oost, used objects are a unique and influential source of inspiration for her work. The choice of reusing things was a way to enhance herself as an artist, but unexpected values came from this type of art as well.

“It was mostly an aesthetic choice that I made this jump, but I like the ethics of it too,” said Oost.

Oost finds much of her inspiration at Stubblefield, a salvage and recycling yard in Walla Walla.

“It’s kind of depressing every time I go to Stubblefield and there is just so much stuff, and I just can’t bear to buy something new and use it,” said Oost.

With a boost from her newfound environmental ethics, Oost still focuses on the aesthetic values she found originally in the liberating art of using found objects. This jump from using purely clay to reusing materials provides a more interesting artistic viewpoint and gives character to a piece.

For instance, Oost visited a gallery in New York where an artist used a side panel of an RV that left the dirt on the side of the material. What some may call a flaw, Oost points out is “surprisingly meaningful.”

“There’s a lot of untapped content there too, because [the objects] have their own kind of connotations and references that can be emotive in ways that things that you make yourself can’t.”

by MOLLY EMMETTStaff Reporter

Recognizing ReusersRESOURCEFUL WHITTIES MESH CREATIVITY, GREEN ETHICS

“Being around people who have similar ideals or goals as you do is always really helpful”Ali Murray ’14

by TALIA RUDEEStaff Reporter

by TALIA RUDEEStaff Reporter

by MOLLY EMMETTStaff Reporter

Shared approach to reuse unites Outhouse Physics-astronomy major Alexe Helmke ’12 reappropriates used wine bottles to create candle holders in a creative effort to reuse, recycle materials instead of simply throwing them away. Photos by beck

Students at Whitman pur-sue creative reuse projects around campus, find inspi-ration in artistic sensibility, environmental awareness

MEGAN OOST SEES ARTISTIC POTENTIAL

IN FOUND OBJECT SCULPTURE

KAITLIN CLOUD SUCCESSFULLY AVOIDS CONSUMERISM IN NEW

YEAR’S RESOLUTION

ALEXE HELMKE REPURPOSES WINE BOTTLES IN HOME DECOR PROJECT

Mar

082012

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7OPINION

Of all the detestable presiden-tial candidates still in the race today, I reserve my worst ire

for Ron Paul. True, some of the oth-er candidates are far more despica-ble than he—notably Rick Santorum, who believes that women should stay in the home and not the workforce, and claims that the separation of church and state makes him want to “throw up”—but Paul still takes the cake.

My special hatred for Paul does not come from any fear he might win the nomination: that honor will go to Mitt Romney. My hatred for Paul is not even entirely his fault, though I’m cer-tain that his campaign is thrilled at the circumstances that are bringing it about.

I abhor Ron Paul because so many people are wrong about him, although for the right reasons.

I’m referring to the peculiar fol-lowing that the Texas representative has among young liberals. The fact that cer-tain Whitman students and hippies from my hometown of Austin alike have raised Paul up as a messiah has baffled me ever since he stepped onto the national stage.

Near my home, a sign on a fence bears the words “Ron Paul Revolution” with the “evol” in “revolution” formed by the word “love” spelled backwards. Many of you may have seen these signs, and some of you may have wondered who insists on repainting the godfather of the Tea Party as some kind of under-ground rock ‘n’ roll freedom fighter.

I understand the appeal of Paul. His foreign policy represents peace at a time when we can’t seem to stop blundering into wars. He wants to legalize marijua-na, an obvious choice when rationally considered. More broadly, however, he represents change: true freedom from the endless grind of choosing between a Democrat who will screw up and a Republican who will screw us over.

This is false freedom. It’s true we need this change, but Ron Paul can-not and should not be a viable third op-tion. He wants to abolish the Federal Re-serve, handing control of the economy over to large private banks, which would then control credit, smaller banks and even printed currency according to their business needs. His much-vaunted for-eign policy amounts to little more than total isolationism. He has stated that he believes global warming to be a hoax.

Ron Paul is, in fact, the opposite of a liberal. It can be argued endlessly wheth-er he is a conservative or a libertarian, but he is definitely far from a liberal. To be fair, I’ll let the man speak for himself:

“The proper role for government . . . is to provide national defense, a court system for civil disputes, a crim-inal justice system for acts of force and fraud, and little else.”—Ron Paul, Feb. 5, 2007 (from his congressional website)

People whose speeches skew ee-rily close to the admonitions of Adam Smith—that government is for noth-ing but roads, an army and lighthous-es—tend not to be popular on college campuses. Paul, however, has subvert-ed this by presenting himself as a rebel-lious option, a man outside the system.

This is why I despise him more than the others: because he has perverted the noble concept of rebellion and revolu-tion in order to trick the opposite con-stituency into viewing him through rose-colored glasses. Rick Santorum may be a misogynist , but at least peo-ple react to him as badly as he deserves.

About a week ago, my dad sent me an article encouraging Democrats in Michigan (my home state) to

vote for Rick Santorum in the Republican primary. Since Michigan has an “open primary,” anyone can vote in the prima-ry, even those not registered as Repub-licans. My father, a lifelong Democrat, joked that I should take the call serious-ly and vote absentee for Rick Santorum.

The goal behind this movement would be to 1) embarrass Mitt Rom-ney with a defeat in his “home state” and 2) force Romney, current leader of the Republican contenders for pres-ident, to spend more money in oth-er states because he would have to con-tinue defending against Santorum, his only rival at this point in the election.

Although I love a good joke, es-pecially when it involves Republi-cans, the idea begged the question of what kind of attitude electoral poli-tics should adopt at this day and age considering the increasingly cutthroat tone politics has been taking of late.

This kind of voting is complete-ly fair: Santorum even made announce-ments encouraging Democrats to vote for him, hailing the return of “Reagan Democrats,” who are frustrated with Obama’s policies but not with the Dem-ocratic party as a whole. In previous Re-publican primaries in Michigan, Demo-cratic ballots have made up somewhere between six to 10 percent of the vote.

On the one hand, it is always fun-

ny to see Republicans, the party with a little more money than Democrats, tear each other apart, and throw mon-ey around like drunk parents at a high school graduation party. On the other, is it a healthy political system in which we need to cast our votes insincere-ly, using them strategically rather than to voice true support for a candidate?

A vote is the best path to citizen participation in a democracy. It’s the ul-timate statement of authority, and eve-ryone, thanks to Earl Warren, has an equal say regarding what happens in an election. To cast our votes insincere-ly, however, is to state that our democ-racy is not working correctly, requir-ing cheating to get the result we desire.

This is not to say that open prima-ries are a bad idea. Many of my friends who are not registered Republicans post-ed proud statuses on Facebook about whom they voted for in the Republican primary. These friends were sincere in their votes, and the open primary worked in their favor. Since none of them are reg-istered Republicans, none of them would have been able to express their voice had the primary not been open to all voters.

Democracy is all about express-ing your voice through your vote. Al-though it is a somewhat silly notion that our ultimate expression of freedom in-volves checking or punching a piece of paper, it is awesome that we have that ability. When people vote insincere-ly or for ulterior motives, it stains our whole democratic process as insincere.

As much as I would love for Mitt Romney to outspend himself before he meets Obama in the field of bat-tle, it isn’t necessary for Democrats to vote insincerely. Voting is the last form where the citizen has complete con-trol, more than campaign contributions, more than the media and more than ad campaigns since Citizens United. If we don’t take it seriously, we risk losing the last wholesome part of democracy.

Voices from the Community What do you see as the most pressing problem facing Whitman? Poll by Bernstein

DANIEL SWAINJunior

EMILY HANSCAMSenior

RICH JACKSCounselor

ROBBIE SEAGERSophomore

“I wish the professors and students had higher expectations for the stu-dent body. I feel like there are a lot of op-portunities on campus for collabora-tion with professors and other students that could be taken better advantage of.”

“The transitions with the dance department to create the dance major could be smoother . . . We need a tenured person for the depart-ment to have a major but it seems unrealis-tic that any one person could manage that.”

“The most common problem that students bring to us in the counseling office is problems of re-lationships. It’s probably not unique to Whit-man, but it is the biggest problem—followed by depression, anxiety, tension and pressure.”

“Tuition continues to increase annu-ally while Whitman is spending mil-lions of dollars renovating build-ings, despite student debt and unem-ployment sustaining record highs.”

PE

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LIA

R P

RIM

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Pioneer columnists explore the perplexing nature of the 2012 Republican primaries, discussing everything from the candidates and their supporters to the process as a whole

KYLE SEASLYFirst-year

SAM CHAPMANFirst-year

Nonprofit Invisible Children kicked off its KONY 2012 campaign with an impres-

sive social media blitz. Within a mat-ter of hours the 30-minute video ad-vocating the capture of Joseph Kony, Ugandan commander of the Lord’s Resistance Army, had reached nearly 4.5 million views. At Whitman, stu-dents formed a Facebook group en-titled “KONY 2012 Whitman Col-lege” that had recruited 350 mem-bers by the end of the day. The group plans on hosting an event called “Cover the Night” on April 20 to build awareness about the atroci-ties Joseph Kony has committed.

I admire the sentiments ex-pressed by all of those who joined the KONY 2012 campaign with a willingness to help. But let me be perfectly clear: Supporting jus-tice for Joseph Kony through Invisi-ble Children, Inc. is a terrible way to ameliorate the situation in Uganda.

Invisible Children itself was given two out of four stars for ac-

countability and transparency by the watchdog website Charity Navigator, spends only 31 percent of its budg-et on charity programs and pays its founders roughly $90,000 each per year. These salaries are not inclu-sive of travel, filmmaking and pro-motional costs that comprise the ma-jority of Invisible Children’s annual budget. Invisible Children is not so much a charity as a media company that advocates for U.S. intervention in Uganda. That is the far deeper prob-lem with the KONY 2012 campaign.

Invisible Children is lobbying for direct military action to pros-ecute one individual. The United States African Command and the Ugandan military attempted this in 2008, ultimately failing to capture Kony, breaking off peace talks and causing a backlash resulting in the deaths of over 1,000 individuals. In-visible Children supports the Ugan-dan military, which has been accused by Human Rights Watch of com-mitting wrongful murder, rape and invasion of other sovereign states.

Finally, remember that Invis-ible Children advocates for the use

of military force against the child soldiers protecting Kony. If Invisi-ble Children succeeds in lobbying Congress for increased military en-gagement to capture him, the re-sulting violence would be atrocious.

Organizations like Invisible Children prey on the idealism of stu-dents throughout the country. Doc-umentary tours, book deals and so-cial media are part of an act to raise money on the college lecture and film circuit. Fourteen of my friends have shared links pointing to vari-ous KONY 2012 paraphernalia that will raise money for Invisible Chil-dren’s lobbying efforts. I under-stand the romantic appeal of crusad-ing for social justice in faraway plac-es, but I find the support of a man-hunt in central Africa a complete-ly unacceptable course of action.

Joseph Kony has killed thou-sands of individuals over the past two decades. Malaria continues to kill 1.2 million individuals every year. I encourage Whitman students to look for sustainable development practices to advocate for rather than supporting violent military crusades.

Have an opinion to share? The Pio is soliciting guest columns! Send yours to editors@whitmanpioneer.com

As one who cares about punctua-tion, syntax, and clarity, I was disap-pointed to see The Pioneer alter my direct quote to remove a cherished comma. In the recent article on Ul-timate frisbee, I had stated that Ul-timate often has the fallacious per-ception of being “laid back, frivo-lous, or hippy-ish.” Yet in the print-ed article, the punctuation after the word frivolous—what is known as the serial, Harvard, or Oxford com-ma—was omitted. Though I un-derstand that The Pioneer follows the journalism standards of the AP Stylebook I would like you to con-sider the benefits of the Oxford com-ma, namely its ability to reduce am-biguity, match the cadence of spo-ken word, and please your readers.

The Oxford comma provides imperative clarity in the viral online post, “We invited the strippers, JFK, and Stalin.” Without it, an unfor-tunate scenario becomes apparent: “We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin.” Hence, I would like all read-ers to recognize that while The Pio-neer may not be able to use the Ox-ford comma in their journalism, it is a linguistic tool that prevents misin-terpretation, adds fluidity, and saves us from regrettable party decisions.

(I have used the Oxford com-ma six times in this letter; it would be a disgrace to have it published without them. Your move, Pio.)

Natalie JamersonClass of 2013

Letter to the Editor KONY 2012 preys on Whitman idealismby CHARLIE WEEMSGuest Columnist, Senior

ILLUSTRATION BY CARTER-RODRIGUEZ

Mar

082012

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8

Dear Whitman ResLife,You do not know me, and I doubt you ever will. I know you try

to get to know every student at Whitman, but you will still never get to know me; because, I am not a student, much as I wish I was. Even though I can use a semicolon with precision and skill, I will never walk the fabled halls of Prentiss, Anderson or even the Pit, which sounds like a place in Hell.

Even though my best friend in all the world, Sarah Thisisnotar-ealpersonwhogoesheredontbotherlookingheruponpeoplesearch, is a freshman this year at your most fine of institutions, I was not allowed to attend. It is not a matter of my intelligence or skill, but rather one of diversity. According to you, I am too diverse for Whitman, seeing as I am not human. I am a dog, Sarah’s dog, and some specist fascist in charge of these things won’t let me live with her.

Whitman may hate dogs, and think them inferior, but for some reason they love fish. It doesn’t matter that a fish cannot love people or interact in any meaningful way with anything outside of its tank. In order to put an end to this gross injustice, I am appealing to the very top of the ladder. Let all animals, no matter how many legs they use for locomotion, live in the dorms. Turn away the cats if you must, I wouldn’t blame you. But let those who love Frisbee, cuddling and rectifying the fact that humans have too little moisture on their faces attend Whitman College. Thank you.

Sincerely,Scruffles “Fetchmaster” Jones

BACKPAGE

Cartoon by Emily Johnson

MAY The cool-down month. Lots of Easy Mac and “30 Rock.”

JUNE Signed up for a calligraphy class at the community college. Never went on ac-count of lack of opposable thumbs.

JULYWent to 4th of July party. Uncle Sam kept asking if he lays the eggs he deliv-ers. Brings up bad child-hood memories.

AUGUSTWent horseback riding with Sasquatch. Felt weird about it.

SEPTEMBERPulled a muscle working out. Treadmill not made for bunny stride.

OCTOBERDressed up as Peter Cot-tontail for Halloween: blue t-shirt, no pants.

NOVEMBERRedecorated the warren—sort of a cubist-rococo feel.

DECEMBERGot a job as a mall Santa. Too awkward to bring up at the Christmas party at the Clauses’ . . .

JANUARYAttempted to change name to E. Sterbun Ni. Sounded classier.

FEBRUARYStarted thinking about getting back in shape . . . hired personal trainer.

MARCHGot a haircut. It looked awful. This would happen just before Easter.

The race for the Republican nomination has become a shit-show. While it seems as though Mitt Romney, former Massa-chusetts Governor, has a solid lead because he has won most of the primaries, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum are still fighting. One of Santorum’s campaign managers recently told reporters, “We are pretty

sure we’re not going to win, but it’s still fun to screw with Romney.” Sadly for Romney, he has not caught onto this. He just came out with a new campaign slogan, based off of Ronald Reagan’s 11th Commandment (which Romney has totally ig-nored), “Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican.” Romney’s 12th Command-

ment: “Thou shalt do anything to win, literally.” So far he has stuck to it pretty well. He’s re-lated himself to the lower mid-dle class by having friends who are NASCAR owners, shown that he’s not really a rich jerk by releasing one year of tax re-turns where he pays less taxes than those who make $50,000 a year and making a $10,000 bet

on TV, advocated for drug test-ing welfare recipients, back-tracked on resurfaced views on national healthcare mandates, and by “not [being] concerned about the very poor [because] we have a safety net there.” He’s become such a relatable guy to the diverse population of the United States—how will he not win?

TRUELIFE

Unlike Santa, the Easter Bunny’s off-season is not filled with feverish preparations for next year. He’s got to keep himself busy, staying in shape for all that hop-hop-hoppin’. The Pioneer did a little research, and this was his schedule last year:

I’M THE EASTER BUNNY

ADVERTISEMENT

ANSWERS FROM LAST WEEK: “SPLIT LEVEL”, “DARK CIRCLES UNDER THE EYES” AND “I UNDERSTAND.”

“Thou shalt do anything to win, literally.”

MITT ROMNEY’S 12TH COMMANDMENT

ILLUSTRATION BY ZINSER