Why Do Some Young People Leave The

Lord?Some Stay; Some Stray

All verses are from the New King James Version unless noted.

Part 4

I. Bad Influence – of their Friends

II. Poor Example – of their Parents

III. Weak Image – of the Church

IV. Lax Standards – at Home

Opposing Kinds of Parenting

Wishbone Parenting Backbone Parenting Upright and firm Argues and wishes for

good results

versus

IV. Lax Standards – at Home

1. Control HouseA. Example of elders and deacons

(1 Tim. 3:4, 12)

B. Natural for children to test and retest

parents:

• What is acceptable

• How much they can do and get away

with

• See if parents mean what they say

• How much they can control parents

WARNING: Instant Gratification!

The danger of instant

gratification (Prov. 21:17)• I. G. → an undisciplined lifestyle

• I. G. → creates a distaste for God

(2 Tim. 3:4)

(1)

WARNING: Acting On Feelings

Acting on “feelings” is the antithesis

of “self-discipline” (Prov. 29:11)!• An ally of instant gratification

• An enemy of self-discipline

• Foresee the costs of actions rather

than being driven by feelings

• God’s counsel as guide (Ps. 73:24)

(2)

IV. Lax Standards – at Home

1. Control House

2. Mean What You SayA. Define clearly what behavior is expected,

acceptable, and intolerable

B. Enforce what is defined with punishment

or praise

C. Allow, do not interfere with, “reality” as

the child’s tutor

Reality As A Teacher?

Reality teaches inso many different

ways!

A Time To Go SlowA Time To Pick Up

The Pace

Reality As A Teacher?

The Bible teaches that reality is to be a teacher (2 Thess. 3:10)

Reality rewards for good and bad behavior

(Is. 3:11; Prov. 11:18) Parental discipline

simply reinforces what reality does

Reality As A Teacher?

Set boundaries and limits Make not every decision Refuse to always “bail out”

child (Prov. 19:18, 19) Deny instant rescue Hold accountable (Ps. 10:13) Develop problem solving

skills Do not focus on child’s

unhappiness during training

Reality As A Teacher?

What does this form of discipline accomplish? It prepares children for life It frees parents from

nagging and pleading with their children

It makes children accountable

It teaches responsibility

IV. Lax Standards – at Home

A. Diligently train (Prov. 22:6)

B. Expect receptivity from children “My son, keep my words, and treasure

my commands within you” (Prov. 7:1) “Listen to your father who begot you,

and do not despise your mother when

she is old” (Prov. 23:22)

IV. Lax Standards – at Home

A. Corrective discipline (Prov. 29:17;

22:15; 19:18)

B. Concern with clothing, music, movies, TV, who

with, where go (Prov. 19:15)

C. Care in helping prepare for Bible studies (Eph. 6:4)

D. Communication to bond (Prov. 23:24, 26; 4:3, 4;

Deut. 6:7; 11:19; etc.)

E. Compelling obligations/tasks (Lk. 16:10)

I. Bad Influence – of their Friends

II. Poor Example – of their Parents

III. Weak Image – of the Church

IV. Lax Standards – at Home

V. Little Time – as a Family