wisdom’s way to relating...

Wisdom’s Wayto Relating Peacefully

~ Your 2016 Working Guide ~

Compiled byShirley Lynn Martin

MTS, MDiv, Reiki Master/Teacher, BCC Life Coach & Psychotherapist, Peace Circle Facilitator, Advanced Energy Psychology Practitioner

shirleylynnmartin.com © Shirley Lynn Martin 1

Getting Started

Find a clean, tidy space where you can work creativelyand with great focus. Whether you want your booksaround you, a lit candle or any representation of whatmakes you most alive and inspired, bring that to yourside as you open and work through this book. Call into presence with you and this inner exploration, the Wisdom of Light and Love, however this Higher Power ismost meaningfully experienced in your heart. Ask this Higher Presence and Power to help you enjoy thecreative and life-affirming course work in these pages. Give thanks for the opportunity to be in intimaterelationship and honest self conversation with this Higher Presence and Power.

Throughout this workbook process, I encourage you to use the Healing Energy Light Process and Mid-line Therapy (the tapping of 4 acupressurepoints) to enhance, support or clear pathways in your energy and in your mind for greater clarity, openness and confidence in creating peaceful relationships in your life (see page 42 for HELP). Use it whenever you are stuck, confused or weighed down with emotions that are in the way of developing a clear vision of peaceful relationships.

NOTE: A 20-mi nut e complimentary coa chi ng sess ion is included in thepurchase of this workbook. Please utilize your free coaching session at any

point in your process when you need a little guidance or support.

[email protected]

519-886-6732


mailto:[email protected]

Introduction

Wisdom’s way to pe aceful r elatin g is a mindfulness of 'who and how we be' while engaging with the people, the elements and events as well as the environment with which life has privileged us. Compassionate and just relating with others is vital to our health and well-being, to our sense of connection and belonging with community, to our sense of identityand rootedness and even to our sense of success and purpose in this life. We are hard-wired to be in relationship and ultimately healthy, life-giving relationships are essential to thriving and self-realization.

We live in relationship. We are always relating in some way with something. Whether it be with ourselves, with Nature or with the environment, with family and friends (including animal friends), with colleagues, with neighbours, with systems and even with the Divine, we continuously are engaging and in the practice of relating. How we choose to live and relate can determine our sense of fulfilment, happiness, health and inner peace.

I invite you to take this opportunity now to design and take action in creatingmore peaceful relationships, in the place where you live. Though not exhaustive, this workbook will help you to get clear and motivated to confidently dream, design and deliver on what matters most to you about your relationships and the peace you desire.

My love and encouragement to you as you work through andultimately implement this workbook.

Shirley Lynn Martin


What Do My Present Relationships Look Like?

A Simple Model of Discovering and Designing Your Life: Counting My Blessings and Creating Acceptance at POINT A

Before you can manifest your preferredfuture, you need to have some vision ofwhere you are going. And before you cancreate or align with this path of peacefulrelating, you need to have a clear pictureof where you are now. It is important toknow where you are in order to get whereyou want to be.

POINT A RESOURCES POINT B

(clarity of the present (your preferred future)

and the best of the past)

POINT A: Your Present Narrative

1. Write out what is happening in your relationships in this moment. Reflect upon the ‘how’ you be in the relating to various people, events, systems, to time and resources (ie. money), etc. What are the beliefs, thinking, feelings and attitudes that presently drive the ‘way you be’ in your life?

Use the Wheel of Life (page 8) and write down exactly what is happening related to these key areas of your life in your most valued relationships. Write down your feelings and beliefs that pertain to theseareas and the relationships that you value most.


2. Creatively explore 2015 in the following ways:

a) Create a mosaic of what you loved in your relationships in 2015. Look for the memories, the details, no matter how big or how small.

b) What moments were unique and extraordinary and life-giving in your relationships this past year? Tell a safe someone a key story or two about key memories that significantly impacted you while relating with your life in this past year.


c) How did you show up to relate to these people, events, resources? For example, how are you relating with your body right now? With yourmother or father or partner or child(ren)? With your career? Your income or taxes? With your house or living space? With your community? Etc.


Wheel of Life Mandala

Family/Friends

Physical Environment (Community)

Personal/Spiritual 8-10

Development Career/

Business4-7

0-3

Core Values/

Purpose

Fun/

Social

Business/

Finances

Health/Self-Care

Personal Finances

Romance/Intimacy


d) Use a coloured pen and make a line that indicates the level of ‘relating satisfaction’ for you in each area of your life right now. Connect the lines and look at the Wheel you have drawn. Write down any insights or observations that you become aware of as you look at your Wheel.


3. Write out any relationship accomplishments of 2015 that affirmed your best self and really felt like life-enriching success, again no matter howbig or how small.

Write down the feelings this accomplishment evokes.

Write out the steps you took to accomplish this goal. What was the core affirmation you repeated to yourself when the task of accomplishing this goal became difficult? What was in balance? How was the ‘give and take’, ‘offer and receive’ in these relationship dynamics in balance? How did you feel like you were significant, that you belonged and had a place to belong?


4. Now, identify what you want more of in 2016 that was life-giving in 2015, no matter how big or small. What do you most value about your relationships? Where do you feel this life-giving energy from your relationships in your body? What is your body posture and thinking when you re-live what you most valued about 2015?

How are you doing? Time for a check in with me? Don't forget you areentitled to a fr ee 20 mi nut e coa chi ng sess ion at any point during this

process. Please call or email me if you need a little boost to keep you going.

[email protected]

519-886-6732



The Power of Self Acceptance

We can never move from POINT A to someplace else before we accept that we are presently at POINT A. We equally must accept who we are at POINT A. We cannot move from POINT A hoping that the next place will finally be the place of self-acceptance we desire so much. Self acceptance is necessary to reach POINT B.

1. a) From those events, memories or activities that left you feeling mostunhappy or upset in your relationship interactions, what are you going to do differently in 2016 should they arise again? What is the key learning from this memory about what you REALLY want to focus your energy upon in 2016?


b) We often set boundaries by our values. As you look at the patterns of relating throughout 2015, what do these patterns tell you about the values you are actually living? What boundaries and perhaps values do you need to be aligned with or return back to so that you can be mindful in your relating more peacefully with your life?


2. When we experience loss or transition within relationships, we often grieve these losses, even when or if we are moving to something better. Grieving includes acknowledging these losses and letting go of the need for the person or situation to be in the future in the same wayas it has been in the present. What can support us to move beyond being stuck in grief is to observe and pay attention to where the love inthe past can flow forward with us. For example, whether it’s a relationship ending or a death of an animal companion or the change ina job or career, if the timeless value can be mined out from the loss and change, then that timeless value can flow forward with you in future career, future companions and ways of relating with others.

What grief is keeping you at a standstill in a particular relationship or inthe manner in which you are relating with a resource which you must finally acknowledge? What is the timeless love and blessing in this memory of this person or in this loss that can become the Faith and Joy you carry forward with you in your heart?


3. The 13 Indigenous Grandmothers are one group at the heart of a healing movement that is bridging ancient and modern worlds and is weaving the human family together again. They teach us to take our suffering, our wounds and heal them, to forgive others so the power of this wisdom through healing becomes the 'platform' from which we share the wisdom and prayer for the world.

Who needs forgiveness? What ‘platform’ does your forgiveness offer you to stand upon? To share your joy and purpose with the world?(Note: Here is an opportunity to use the HELP technique (page 42) to help you on your path of forgiveness. You may wish to tap on each of the 4 points of the Midline Therapy, adding the points of the crown and base of the skull if you are sensing to do so. Feel free to repeat this statement a few times at each point [or edit to make it personal to you]):

“Even though I have this pain/relationship breach in my ___________ (the body part where the pain is located) and it may be there because I haven't been able to forgive ________________ (the person/s that you cannot forgive), I choose to acknowledge all my emotions towards him/her/them, and I give myself permission to let go of all the unresolved conflict, so that I can be healthy, and more than that, I can truly be free."

Note: If there has been abuse, professional support and assistance may be needed to ensure your healing process is safe and effective.


4. What talents, skills and dreams do you need to accept and give voice to that you hide in your own heart, keeping yourself out of lovingrelationship with yourself ... and thus, with others?


Visioning Harmony in Your Relationships

I invite you to dream and imagine beyond what you have ever done before. See these next 12 months as a new time, with new opportunities and innovations for sustainability that open a path of peaceful possibility in the way you relate to the important people, aspects of yourself and resources in your life that may not have been able to manifest before. Your patience and work to discover peace within will earn our good fortune with every positive effort we put into committed and joyful motion and intention.

So ... really bring out the playfulness,creativity and idealism of your inner child,your 'holy teenager', your realist, yourdreamer, your critic, and your wise self (likea 'community or family' of self) into a circleof inner peace, giving each aspect ofyourself equal voice to speak to your innerlight, truth and purpose in all your vitalrelationships.

1. Who do you love and what about your relationships do you love? What and who makes you feel alive? What and who makes you want to shoutYES?

At the end of 2016, where do you want to be with what and who you love? What do you want to accomplish toward ongoing peaceful relating with the world around you? What would peaceful relationships look like, feel like, act like, for you?Who were your favourite people as a young person, or as a child who still make you smile? What do you wish you would still be doing with those people that you enjoyed and 'got lost in play' as a child?

(Your responses may also inform you of those timeless qualities of character and connection that you wish to cultivate more deeply within yourself and with others).


2. Remember that POINT B cannot make you more lovable. You already are! What do you want to express or create when you have clear confidence that you are lovable? Let the flow of your Higher Presenceand Power awaken what is true and would allow you to feel at peace with yourself and/or in your relationships, including with your body, with money, with your job, or your animal companion, etc. If you can’t imagine it, pretend that you can imagine such an inner sense of being loved.

Use the Wheel of Life (page 8) and open your heart. Take another coloured pen and indicate what level of satisfaction in these areas of your relationships (10 being highest) you would like to be living at the end of 2015. Don’t hold back. Be courageous. Be Bold. Be truthful. Be realistic. Connect the lines and look at this wheel.


3. Use the Wheel of Life (page 8) and write out between 5-7 core values ortimeless qualities of character that guide the way you want to show up in the relationships that matter most and the ‘how you be’ in your life. Please refer to the list of Values (page 45) to assist you. As you align with your values in a heartfelt way, you will develop healthy boundarieswith those you love and as a structure for the life you want to live.

As you look at the Wheel you want to live and the values that guide your heart, what are the most passionate desires of the heart you commit to coming alive? What healthy boundaries come to the forefront as healthy goals? Remember to state your goals and desires in the positive.


4. Feel the outcome of these more peaceful relationships in your body. Will these outcomes feel like a blessing to you? Is the new Wheel morevaluable to you than what you have now? Is it worth the resources youwill need to create more peaceful relationships? Is it that big of a blessing?


5. What transformation do you imagine peaceful relating would bring in your life? What does this accomplishment give you that you cannot livewithout? What integrity are you negating or compromising if you disregard the actions to follow through and manifest them?

Is this the time and place for your free 20 minute coaching consultation? Iknow you are working hard and I want to offer my support when you need it.

Please don't hesitate to call or email me.

[email protected]

519-886-6732



Discerning the Wisdom of your Resistance

Doubt and resistance often show up hoursafter the enthusiasm of a new way to be orachieving one’s purpose begins. However,doubt and resistance can be turned intowisdom and curiosity if we approach theseinner obstacles with love and mindfulness.When we resist, some part of ourconsciousness is expressing an objection. When we have doubts, some part of us iscommunicating that we need to learn something more than what is in our present basket of knowledge. Getting curious and seeking out the inner wisdom will help us more efficiently and elegantly create peaceful relationships!

1. As you look at the goals and the commitments to POINT B, what resistance is emerging into specific can’t, won’t, not able? Is there any part of you objecting to pursuing this goal? What is the objection? What is the resistance meant to protect?

Listen with open heart, with curiosity and with loving kindness toward yourself. These aspects of yourself hold a valuable job of keeping you safe and healthy.


2. Ask yourself: What would satisfy my objection? What would assure my resistance that I will be safe and healthy with this goal and the path to creating peaceful relationships? What is the love and forgiveness that must be sustained for the objection or resistance to dissipate?

(Note: Needing HELP (see page 42) to move you forward and to open your listening to your inner knowing? Is there a statement that would be helpful like:

“Even though I feel/believe it's unsafe to be successful and that I mighthave to let go of who I think/believe I am, my soul receives love and kindness and sustaining abundance every day of the year”.)


3. What is the voice of doubt shouting? What do I need to learn to adequately accept that I’m good enough or that I’m okay, right here, right now? What skill or resource do I need to acquire to accomplish my goal that I haven’t thought about as so necessary? What time and energy am I prepared to give to learning this skill and is it a viable taskin my life at this time? If not, then what else would satisfy my doubt? For example, what communication skills or intimacy skills do I need to learn that would improve my success in this relationship?


Clearing the Path

(Note: You may again find the HELP technique (page 42) useful in this section to support yourefforts for a clear path to new ideas andunderstanding for better relationships. Yourintention may be as simple as: “My intentionis to release the deep psychological blocksand self sabotage that keep me fromcreating peaceful relationships”.)

Unmet expectations are one of the primary contributors to personal strife and emotional reactions we have in relationships. One definition of expectation in the dictionary is the mental belief of a probability to happen or occur. It is really a thought in our mind about the future that we believe is real and will happen. When this expectation is subsequently not met, we can have an 'ungrounded' emotional reaction when these unmet expectations collide with our lack of worthiness or of incompetence or of inadequacy, for example.

Unmet expectations can often trigger our sense of 'needed perfection' – a mode of being that lacks true self awareness. Being self aware is far more valuable than being perfect. Self awareness is attainable and helpful, while perfection is neither.

Signs that unmet expectations have hooked you, causing distress can include:

• ‘Moral’ thoughts that someone should or shouldn’t do something

• Projections about the other that reveal one’s own stuff ( ie. anger, frustration, fear, disappointment, abandonment, feeling like a victim)

• Stress in the form of physical tension or tightness

• Disharmony in your relationships and the way you relate with what is in your life


1. What expectations of someone close, or of something close to you (ie. body, money, house), are you holding onto which are getting in the way of creating your vision of peaceful relationships?

2. What perceived expectations from others (or even a system—government, bank) are you hooking into causing you stress and discord in trying to measure up or live up to them? Where does this pattern originate?


3. Are these expectations serving you and your relationship at this time?

4. Is your expectation or someone else's reasonable? Credible? Valid? True?

5. What do you really want in this relationship or in the way you relate to the important things or resources in your life?


6. If you let go of this expectation and became open and curious to what else would improve communication, connection and commitment, whatresponse arises that you can let sink deep into your mind, heart, body and behaviour?

7. What symbol from deep in your being represents this more peaceful connection, commitment and communication in this relationship going forward?


We are hard-wired to be emotionally connected, to be loved and belong. In the field of psychology, this understanding is defined as Attachment Theory. Simply put, we all need to havesecure attachments where we can trust we belong, are accepted and loved andcan express our authenticity. If oursense of security and attachment isthreatened, our childhood pattern offorgoing our authenticity to ensure ourbelonging can get triggered.

In adulthood, this self neglect and lack of authentic self expression can lead to depression, loss of self and many other dysfunctions of relationship.

Boundaries that support our commitment with others AND honour and sustain our authenticity create communications and connections that can lead to more peaceful relationships.

1. What ‘yes’ to your true self do you need to give voice to and trust within yourself?


2. What ‘no’ to another or to an old pattern of dis-connection do you needto kindly and clearly share that opens the door for more truthful and trusting presence with each other?

3. When you feel disconnected or unloved, what is your default option – your habitual reaction (ie. Withdraw, pursue, control)? What response might offer you more connection, mutual responsiveness and open communication in this relationship?


4. What is the strength of this relationship or your best relationships that you want to celebrate and give more life to in the next 12 months? Where do you need to be more vulnerable in your relationship so that these strengths can be nurtured and your need for intimacy be fulfilled?

Please remember that I am here for you if you need it. I am so proud of youfor working through this challenging content and I don't want you to feel

alone or lost. Call or email me today for your free 20 minute coachingsession.

[email protected]

519-886-6732



Gathering the Resources

Resources are all the things and motivations we need to manifest what we dream about and set as a goal at POINT B (in this case creating peaceful relationships).

Resources include skills, talents, money, our connections/contacts, our motivations (from thespiritual to the emotional to the economic), our environment, our supports, our guidance, our wisdom, and even our spiritual practice which sustains us!

1. Using the list above, what resources are needed to accomplish peacefulrelationships in the coming year? What are the resources you already have? Which ones do you need to gather from external sources?


2. What emotional mindset do you need to change so the path of these needed resources ‘lightly’ opens up to you?

For example, do I need to develop a more forgiving mind, a tolerant mind, a more open and curious mind, a more clear and assertive mindset? Where do I need to become more responsive, open and present to myself or others (and that includes animal companions)?


3. What past successful strategies can you confidently re-assert to your peaceful relationships and to the ethic of peaceful relating in 2016?

4. Who do you know who believes in you at least over 80% who will hold you compassionately accountable to the action plan of what you say you are committing to do?


5. What do you need to stop doing now, so that you have the energy and health to focus on creating peaceful relationships in 2016?

Need a little help? I'm here for you. Call or email for your 20 minute freecoaching consultation to keep you moving forward.

[email protected]

519-886-6732



Creating the Joyful and Simple Action Plan

The Action Plan is the place where we create the strategies. I played lots of sports over the years and know strategies are the backbone of our plan to get from POINT A to B. All the previous work we have been doing has been focusing on what we want, why we want it, and the meaning or purpose it fulfils in manifesting what we design.

In this next section we finally look at the‘how’. What is brilliant about the ‘how’ isthat we can hold it very lightly (just likeour goals) because funny things occur inlife – the strange and unexpected happens.To account for this unexpected, multiplestrategies are needed as well as a flexibleapproach that makes us nimble if the tideschange (yet again!).

As you work on creating your peaceful relationships, practice these steps diligently: (Use the HELP Technique (page 42) here to motivate you to practise what brings you peace).

1. Get happy. Life presents its ups and downs, its stresses and rewards. Enjoy the process and the mini destinations along the way.

2. Develop a daily spiritual practice (whether its meditation, journaling, walking in Nature with prayerful mindfulness, keeping a gratitude autobiography, etc). You need to be filled with Light and Lovedaily to reap the rewards it offers in these healing and creative times towards peaceful relationships.

3. Get your health schedule in order. You can’t accomplish the bigger things in life if you care not for your core vitality!


Engineering the Strategies

Have a physical space that is big enough where you can actually step out theentire year. Take at least 3 steps between intervals of engineering. Chunk down the next 12 months – only look at 3 month intervals at each step.

1. Step into December 2016 and feel and visualize everything you are doing in the success of creating peaceful relationships you have identified above. What are you doing exactly? What is happening around you? In your relationships? With your body/health? What is going on financially? What resources are you tapping into and using? (If you can’t visualize, then pretend that you can imagine yourself visualizing how you feel and what you are doing 12 months from now!). Write it down.

2. Step back from 12 months into 9 months from now. Observe and pay attention to everything you are doing that got you to the 12month goals and success. Write everything down as you repeat asking and answering the questions of December 2015. (Note: Are you needing HELP (page 42) to move you forward and to open your listening to your inner knowing?)

3. Step back from 9 months and into 6 months from now. Observe and pay attention to everything you are doing here at 6 months that got you to where you were at 9 months. Pay attention to details, feelings, mindset, and actions. Write it all down.

4. Step back from 6 months into 3 months and repeat.

5. Step back from 3 months to 2 months and repeat.

6. Step back from 2 months to 1 month and repeat.

7. Step back from 1month into 2 weeks and repeat.


8. Step back from 2 weeks into 1 week and repeat.

9. Step back from 1 week and into 3 days from now and repeat.

10. Step back from 3 days and into today and what are you doing and where do you start?

FINALLY, turn around and look back at this path you have begun to create in your mind and heart. Feel the path you are creating to accomplish these goals. Does the path feel blessed and aligned with what you value most and desire in your relationships and with your life purpose? Adjust what needs to and start taking action on what is now in front of you.


Additional Notes

It is often valuable to have multiple strategies tofulfil your goals. So although you can engineer onestrategy, you may throughout the year need tocome up with another strategy. At any time, youcan re-think a new strategy as new obstacles andlife unfolding arises. Be confident that if you canimagine and engineer one strategy, your innercreative essence/mind can also imagine anotherpath.

1. Have people who really believe in you to helpyou along the way. We have communities that surround us. We need totap into this community, even if we don’t think they are there. We often just need to ask!

2. Find yourself a mentor, whether historical, present, in a Life Coach or author, but get a mentor. Write out or use sticky notes and remind yourself of key points that motivate your inner heart and being to take next steps ... baby steps are great steps to take. They lead to so muchmore success.

3. If traumas and persistent grief or anxieties get in the way, find a professional to help you find resolution with gentleness and efficiency. There are many strategies that work to help us live our potential regardless of what has happened to us. The power of prayer and gratitude lists can work like miracles as a place to begin.


Blessing for the Coming Year

Once you are finished this dreaming, discovering and designing of 2016, offer a prayer of gratitude and thanksgiving for all the inspirations and divineguidance that arose in your creative contemplations and pondering. A grateful heart is an open, confident and engaging heart.

A Prayer of Th ankf u ln ess

For today, I am gratefulFor tomorrow, I am hopeful

For my life, I am blessedI thank my ancestors for their labors and survival

I thank my contemporaries for their companionshipI thank my descendants for carrying me with them

For today . . . I do my best in all thingsFor tomorrow . . . I honor and heal the environment

For my life . . . I work to be a healthy cell in the body of the UniverseI honor the journey of my life with conscious living

and honor the the lives of all I meet and those I will never know.© Abby Willowroot 2007

A Simple Prayer of Th anks

I am grateful for my family and friends,a job to earn my keep, and the health to do it,and opportunities and the lessons I've learned.Let me never lose sight of the simple blessingsthat form the fabric and foundation of my life,I am blessed, yesterday, today and tomorrow.

© Abby Willowroot 2009


The Healing Energy Light Process © 2000 Fred P. Gallo, PhD

The Healing Energy Light Process (HELP) is a highly effective procedure that helps to eliminate negative emotional responses. It can be used to reduce anxiety, tension, anger, guilt and shame feelings, depression, fatigue,and physical pain, and to assist in the treatment of any other problems that you and your therapist have identified as appropriate for this method. Throughout the process you should not become attached to any intervening thoughts. Thoughts will come and go, but there is no need to become absorbed with any of them. HELP is usually quite relaxing.

1. Begin by having in mind the purpose for which you are receiving HELP. Try to be as specific as possible. Hold your intention in mind. For example:

◦ My intention is to say yes to my values and actions towards healthy boundaries which promote my values.

◦ My intention is to release the pain and trauma so I can get clear on what I need to forgive and let go to move on.

◦ My intention is to improve the ‘how’ I relate with my body (or money, or house, or job, or dog/cat, etc) as a way to cultivate peaceful and compassionate relating in all of my life.

2. Be sure that you are aligned with this intention. Notice how you feel. Do you feel congruent or is there some sense of conflict? If you feel congruent go ahead with the remainder of the protocol. If not, it might be useful to do the HELP exercise with the intention of resolving the in-congruence first.

3. Cross your left ankle over your right. Hold your hands out in front of you, arms extended, with palms facing each other. Turn your hands over so that your thumbs point down and the back of the hands are touching. Raise your right hand up and over your left hand, and interlock the fingers. Turn your hands in and up so that your hands are resting on your chest under your chin.

4. Now place the tip of your tongue at the roof of your mouth behind that little ridge at the centre of the palate. Take some slow, deep diaphragmatic breaths in through your nose. You might like to close your eyes and centre in on your steady, slow breathing. Also imagine


that the breath is coming in through the bottom of your feet all the way up through your body. Comfortably hold in mind your intention while doing this.

5. While you continue to breathe in this manner, imagine that there is a healing light shining down from the heavens onto your head. This light is a colour of your choosing, a colour that you associate with healing. Imagine that this light comes in through the top of your head as you are breathing and then travels throughout your body, vibrating into every cell, every fibre of your body – from the top of your head all the way down your shoulders, into your chest and stomach, into your legs and arms, into your feet and hands. Simply continue to experience thisfor a little while, perhaps a minute or two. Comfortably hold in mind your intention while doing this.

6. Now unlock your fingers, arms and legs and set your feet flat on the floor, placing your fingertips in a prayer-like position, the fingertips of the left hand touching the fingertips of your right hand. The palms are not touching. While you hold this position, continue to position the tip of your tongue at the roof of your mouth and breathe slowly and steadily. Continue to imagine the perpetual light glowing throughout your body. As you are breathing, continue to imagine and feel the breath inhaling through the bottom of your feet. Maintain this position for a minute or two. Comfortably hold in mind your intention for doing this process.

7. Now discontinue this position and notice how you feel. Next place the index and middle fingers of one hand on your forehead between your eyebrows (the Third Eye point) – just your fingers there with light pressure. Take in a deep breath from your diaphragm and then slowly exhale. If you are experiencing any tension or discomfort of any kind, imagine or think that the discomfort is dissipating. You might also thinkor verbalize this phrase: “I am eliminating any remaining aspects of this problem from my whole being (or body, mind, and soul).”

8. Now place two fingers under your nose while thinking or announcing: “I am eliminating any remaining aspects of this problem from my whole being (or body, mind, and soul).” Take a slow deep breath in andslowly exhale.


9. Next place two fingers under your bottom lip and take a diaphragmatic breath in and slowly exhale while thinking or verbalizing: “I am eliminating any remaining aspects of this problem from my whole being (or body, mind, and soul).”

10. Next place the fingertips of one hand at the upper section of yourchest and take a diaphragmatic breath in and slowly exhale while thinking or verbalizing: “I am eliminating any remaining aspects of thisproblem from my whole being (or body, mind, and soul).” It may help to slowly tap on this section of your chest. Exhale and relax.

11. Next place the palm of your left hand at the centre of your chest over your heart. Now get in touch with the feeling of love, compassion,or appreciation. Do this in any way that suits you best. Perhaps thinking about your love for a particular person, an animal, the earth, atoy, etc can facilitate this process. Take your right hand and place it over the part of your body you feel the most sensation related to the intention. For example, if you have a headache, you would put your right hand over the sensations of where your head is aching. Then centre that feeling in your heart and send the healing love to your intention. “I am sending healing love to resolve my relationship problem with my father.” Etc. Do this for a period of time that feels correct to you, but at least for thirty seconds. This process is an aspectof what is referred to as HeartMath.

12. In the future you can reinforce this entire process simply by doing the short form as described in Number 11.

Finally, return your awareness to your surroundings and give yourself some time to reorient. Reconsider the issue for which you intended HELP. In most instances the symptom will be relieved or will no longer carry a negative emotional charge. The process may need to be repeated a few times for you to realize substantial benefit.


Sample Values:

• Choice

• Quality

• Stability

• Safety

• Individuality

• Relationships

• Freedom

• Success

• Accountability

• Contributes to Community

• Mentoring

• Justice

• Order

• Education

• Home

• Creativity

• Self-Development

• Caring

• Loving-kindness

• Cooperation/ Collaboration

• Excellence

• Flexibility

• Nature

• Environment

• Community Integration

• Responsibility

• Family

• Fun / Enjoyment

• Peace

• Health

• Service

• Harmony

• Vitality

• Independence

• Wealth

• Purpose

• Wisdom

• Tolerance

• Generosity

• Honesty

• Courage

• Compassion

• Thankfulness

• Responsible

See Also: http://www.characterfirst.com/assets/CFDefinitions.pdf.

This is a good reference for qualities of character.


http://www.characterfirst.com/assets/CFDefinitions.pdf

References that helped in the creation of this workbook:

Core Elements of the Appreciative Way

By Rob Voyle and Kim Voyle. Appreciative Way, www.clergyleadershipinstitute.com

Thank you for your inspiration in creating and focusing what is life-giving, affirming and filled with hope and light.

Institute of Life Coaching

Thanks for the Wheel of Life Mandala.

ఇ

This workbook has been lovingly compiled to assist you in c reati ngpea cef u l re lationships. Thank you for embarking on your journey in this

way – I trust you have found this process helpful.

ఇ

If you haven't already, please join me for a 20 minute complimentarycoaching session. I would love to hear how this process of creating peaceful

relationships was for you.

[email protected]

519-886-6732



http://www.clergyleadershipinstitute.com/

Where to go from here ...

I applaud your courage in dreaming, designing and ultimately choosing to live more peacefully in your relationships. I know that parts of this reflective and planning process may have been challenging for you, but you made it through!

The next step is to live what you dream about and are calling into reality. I know from experience that additional support can help maintain your commitment in this new and better way of being, of communicating and connecting with those who matter most. I would be honoured to help you with the specific actions, with learning new communication or intimacy skills you may have discovered you need in a personally ill tailored Whole Life and Coaching Program to support and guide you as you continue to create more peaceful relationships in your life.

Wishing You Peace in all your Relationships,

Shirley Lynn

[email protected]

519-886-6732



http://shirleylynnmartin.com/about/wisdoms-way-to-peace

http://shirleylynnmartin.com/about/wisdoms-way-to-peace

We provide Whole Life Therapies & Coa chi ng because we believe:

• You are a unique and special person. No one else is like you. You have complex gifts, desires and needs – unlike anyone else.

• Dreams and aspirations do come true, with sufficient preparation, focus and commitment.

• Joy-filled and harmonious relationships are possible and worth the timeand effort.

• Peace is a state of being as well as outward expression. Peace encompasses the personal, interpersonal and global.

• Peace always is desirable and attainable.

• Wholistic Healing happens at every level of your being – mind, body and spirit/soul. Feathers, Rainbows & Roses supports your healing journey by applying the therapeutic and coaching techniques that are right for you.

ఇ

When you are ready to live more courageously, shine brighter, reach higher and become

your best self, Feathers, Rainbows & Roses is here for you.

Shirley Lynn Martin

[email protected]

519-886-6732


http://shirleylynnmartin.com/


wisdom’s way to relating...

Documents