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Wittiest Bollywood Lines You’ve Ever Heard

Bollywood is one of the biggest film industry in this world as far number of films released goes, it’s nowglobally expanding and in India everyone is mad about it, a typical Bollywood film always has a love storyand we have also seen some of the wittiest dialog in many

saala tumhara pyaar nahi hua,,civil service ka exam ho gya ,,nikalta hi nahi hai,,,(it seems ur love is like acivil service exam ,u r not able to clear it,) - Raanjhanaa

Bala in gundey : sala jis bangali ko football nahi aata uspe kabhi bharosa nahi karna chahiye !!

3 idiot

Human behaviour ke baare me uss din humne kuch jaana, Dost fail ho jaye toh dukh hota hai, lekin dostfirst aa jaye toh jyada dukh hota hai. (We learnt something about human behaviour that day, It feels badwhen a friend fails, but it feels even worse when he comes first.) – 3 Idiots

“Bewakoof aur chutiya mein dhaage barabar ka farak hota hai. Dhage ke henge bewakoof aur hunge,chutiya. Dhaga khench lo to kaun hai bewakoof kaun hai chutiya, carore rupiye ka prashan hai bhaiya” (Athin line separates a fool from a fucker. On one end of the line lies the fool and on the other, the fucker.Snap the line then who’s the fool and who’s the fucker that’s the million dollar question, my friend.) –Omkara

Sanjay Dutt : Ye bomb tere sir par rakh du to kya pehle fatega? bomb ya tera sir..Mahesh : kaaafi difficult h ye to..then typical style of Sanjay Dutt big eyes with (shaitani) laugh “pehle teri fategi saale..”

- Kaante

Crime master Gogo naam hai mera … aankhen nikaal kar gotiyaan khelta hoon main

Another One from Andaaz apna apna

Gangs of wasseypur

Baap ka, dada ka, bhai ka. sabka badla lega re, tera faizal.

One more epic dialog from Gangsof Wasseypur

” Ek pair past me, aur ek future mein…tabhi toh hum aaj pe moot rahe hain “( ” with one foot on our past and the other on our future, we are actually pissing on our present “.)

- Aamir Khan in Rang de Basanti.

Kashmir na koi le sakta hai aur Kashmir na koi de sakta hai … Kashmir mein bus teen din aur do raat kahoneymoon package ho sakta hai

When you can’t change the girl … change the girl

Agar tum safed sari mein laal bindi lagakar aa jao … toh maa kasam ambulance lagogi

- Chasme Badoor

Galti se mishtake ho gaya (mistakehappened by mistake)

Aye kaam legal hai … aaj se hi nahin, Mahabharat ke time se – Vicky Donor

“Goli nahi marenge usko, kah ke lenge uski” – Gangs of Wasseypur

“Jo ladki hume chahiye, usse hum nahi chahiye. Aur jisko hum chahiye, wo kisko chahiye!”

- Garam Masala

“Behind every successful man, there is a woman True But Behind every unsuccessful man, also there is awoman”

Problem yeh hai ki woh ladki hai.

aur kya problem haiProblem yeh hai ki main chahata hoon ki meri life mein koiye problem na hoLekin agar meri life mein koiye problem na ho toh yeh uski life ki sabse badi problem hai…

And bull shit she is worried yaar use to celebrate karna chahiye thaisn’t this exactly what she wants

Seriously yaar aajkal jab bhi wo muh kholti man karta hai muh me kuch stuff kardoonTrust me yaar cheih mahinom me I have had it all Sab dekhliya meineKaunsi pyaar Kaisi relationship?Kahin ki khushiya?

Relationship ka matlab ye rehta hai an end to your own happiness

Uske baad all you have to worry about is uski khushiyaan uska birthdayuske kutte ka birthday

Uska new year to kabhi tumhara bhi new year tha

In ladkiyon ko na koi khush nahi rakh sakta

A happy woman is a myth

Tu batman wali ki dekh leSaala Jab tak saala batman nahi banatab tak bolti rahitum toh kuch karte nahi honakara honapunshak homain tum jaise insaan ke saath kaise reh sakti hujisdin bechara batman ban gaya

us din bolitum toh batman ban gayemujhe toh ek normal insaan chahiye thamain tumhare saath kaise reh sakti hu

Sab saalan na in bollywood kahaniyon ka dosh hai

Bloody bollywood romantic masaalaEk ladka ek ladki dono ko pyaar hua Dono saath saath Film khatam

Is ke baad ka story koi nahi batata Iske baad ki kahaani mein batata hoon

Iske baad ladke ne ladki ko do din hug nahi kiya To problemHug kiya to chape ho rahe ho Itna bhi achcha nahi lagta

Saale Shopping khatam nahi hoti inki Pehle cushion laye fir curtain laye

cushion, curtain se match nahi kiyetoh aur cushion layemere ghar mein mug itne hai kiunko bechne jaoontoh mahine ka kharcha nikal aaye

Ek to jo cheez lena hai wo leke nahi ayegi do hafte dimag chatenge kitable lena haitable lena hai5 ghante maal me bitake ek sadhi si chappal utha kar layengeaur fir agle do hafte dimag chatengetable lena haitable lena hai…

Offic e me kaam kar raha hoonPhone aa jayega

Phone utathe hi bol deta hoonBaat nahi kar sakta

Kitna mushkil hai ye baat samajhna?Do minute karloge to kya ho jayega

Are do minute karloonga to tumhe kya miledi meri maan

Thik se to kar paoonga nahi

Aur iske baad I love you bole bina phone kaataan to naatak

Sabse jyada dimaag ki dahi is mobile phone ne ki hai…

Kitna ghatiya invention hai saala

Trust me I say patta hai saala patta…

ek toh …inke ad bhi dekholo ji 1 paisa per secondaur phone karoaur phone karoaare call sasti ho jaane se baat thodi na badh jati hai karne kofir iska jawab unhe bhi do

tumhare pass baat kyon nahi hai karne koyou have lost interest in metumhe hoon hoon hi karna atha toh maine tumhe phone hi kyon kiya???are meri maa mujhe kya pata tune mujhe phone kyon kiya???jake bharti mittal se puch na…

tujhe main bata raha hoonus ad mein kutta nahi kutia hai…seriouslymein shart laga sakta hoon…

Tujhe kya lagta hai

Columbus ko pata nahi tha wo india nahi jaa raha tha

Glati se pahoonch gaya?

Usko to pata tha

Wo bechara to kahin door jaan chahta tha

Biwi ki chakkar me bolna pada India jaa raha hoon

Nah to das sawaal poochti

Kahaan jaa rahe hoKyon jaa rahe ho

Achcha tumhe pata bhi nahi kahaan jaa rahe ho?Seedhe seedhe kyon nahi bolte ki mujhse kahin door jaan chahte ho/

Aaj tak bechare ka mazaak udati hai duniya

Office me kaam kar raha hoonSms aajayegaI love youThik hai mein bhi sms karleta hoon

I love you tooIske baad sms pe sms shuroo

abey kaam kya karti hai office mein???

Do sms ka reply mat karna

Turant Phone aa jayega

Phone mat uthaaTo dus min me message aa chuka hoga

I don’t think its working anymore

Dus min me Babu I love you toI don’t think its working anymore

And this is when they are not even down

Ab pata chala ye aadmiyon ko itne heart attack kyon aate hain

Aur yeh…. gay bande itne successful kyon hote hai???

Because they don’t have a woman to screw their happiness na

Log kehte hain na behind every successful man, there is a womanTrue

But koi ye nahi bataata kibehind every unsuccessful man, also there is a woman

Aur ye to koi bhi bata sakta hai na

Ki unsuccessful logon ka taadaath

Successful logon se kayi guna zyada hai is duniya me

Saala Office me kaam kar raha hoon

Keh raha hoon late ho jaaonga

To khaana nahi khayegi

Phir bhooki so jayegi

Kya karoon naukri chod doon?

saale ghar jaao

Pehle Inhe manao inhe khilao

Uske baad khud ki bhookh to aise hi mar jaati hai

Is sab ke baad bhi insaan kisi tarah

Kone me jaake shaanti se baitha hua hai chup chaap to gaya

Gadi gadikya soch rahe ho???

kya soch rahe ho???kya soch rahe ho???

Are kuch nahi soch raha meri maayeh soch raha hoon ki tera mooh kaise band karu…kya soch raha hooncamera laga doon dimag mein…

Is sab ke baadWe never talkWe need to talk

I don’t think its working any more

And mein tumhe bata raha hoon

You cannot discuss anything with a woman

Because they call it a discussion

But any discussion with a woman is an argument

Aur argument mein toh tu boss unse jeet hi nahi sakta…

Because hum aadmiyon ki ek basic need hoti hai

To make sense in an argument

Ladkiyon ko koi farak nahi padta

Sense jaise bekaasi cheez ki wajeh se wo

Argument kaise haar jaye

Ek to aaj ki baat pe argument aaj hoga hi nahi

aaj ki baat par jhagada hoga do mahine baad…Yahaan saala yaad hi nahi rehta hai do mahine pehle hua kya tha???

Ladkiyaan bacha ke rakhti hainyeh chota hatiyar nahibada hatiyar haiisse badi ladai mein use karenge…TU kabhi try karliyo khud ko sahi saabit karne ki

Tujhe lag hi raha haoga ki is point se tu apni baat ko ssabit karlega

Lekin tabhi ek awaaz ayegi

Ungli neeche karoo

Tune dhyaan bhi nahi diya hoga

Lekin tumhari nadaan si ungli unki taraf point kar rahi hogi

And suddenly , the whole argument will flush down the gutter

And mudra ye reh jayega ki

How dare you point a finger at me?

Kisne banaya ye rule

Kisne banaya?

Saal wo beech argument me tumhe jhoota phek ke maarle to koi dikkat nahi

Lekin unki taraf ek ungli point kardo

Saara mudra khatam

Wo sahi tum galat

Shaadi se pehle wo nagin tune kyon bhajta hai

Kyon ki band wala bhi tumhe chetaavani de raha hoga ki kaun aa raha hai tumhari zindagi me

Inka signature tune hai wo

Ab ye bata wo kya karne aayi thi tere paas yahaan

Same cheez mein karoon to

Uske kisi friend ko call karke

Ab ye problems ginaoon to

Kahegi tumne meir friend ko call kiyaHmm hmm

Tum uski sympathy gain karna chahte ho?

Y don’t you go and sleep with her?

Its ridiculous yaar

_ Frustrated Aashiq from Pyaar ka Punchnama