8/9/2019 WORKING WITH YOUR SPOUSE

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Working With Your Spouse ..Good ide a or prelud e to a ba d roman ce?

WORKlIFEJHOANNAO.GAN -SO

ast month, I attendedth e Mon ey Summitin suppo rt of my h usband who was on e ofth e keynote spe akers

for the e vent. H e wowed the crowdas he shared his k nowledge andexpe riencein o nline forex trading an dma de them laugh with his cheesydecla ra t ions o f love for his wi feyup , he en joys doing t hat.

Af t er h is talk , a lo t of peop leappro ac hed us w ith questions onfinance andin vesting, but th ere was

one p articular wom an who w entup to m e and a sked: "What' s you rse cret ?" .

I wasn 't s ure what she meant,so I clarified, "D oyou m ean tr adingsecrets?"

To my sur p ri se, she r eplied,"No .. .what's your sec ret toa happyma rriage ?"

Tak ena back b y the ques t ion, myhusband and I looked at eachotherand la ughed . "Luck, m aybe?"

It was a lame answ er, of course .I must admi t I n ever really t houghtabout it. Bu t that bri ef encounterwith th e s weet wom an madem e reflect on m y re lationshipwith myhusband. See , my husband and I h avebeen working tog ether day i n and

day out for s even years now. Soweare not j ust partn ers in life, we ar ea lso p ar tn ers in business. Now that

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isapo tent co mbinatio n- potentia llypow erful o r di sastrous.

For th ose ofyouwho a rein a relationship but arenot yet marri ed,Ioffer this advice: Test the streng th ofyour lov e andr elationship by workingtog ether on a pr oject,a s ide li nerack et, or a smaU busin ess . Th ereissom ething aboutworkin g togetherthat off ers you a cl ear glimp se o f aperson 's t rue na tu r e, habit s, a ndp roblem -solving abilities. I n fact, I

thin k the hi gher th e str ess, th e better beca us e this wil l really pu sh th eenvelope.

When you work with you r partner,be prepared for ar guments andquarr e ls. In marriage and a t work,th ese t hing s a re bound to happen .But what I'd like you to observe i sthe dyn amics of your re lationship .How d o both of you d eal with co nflict? Are you abl e to ta lk about i tand mor e import antly, r esolve it ?Do eith er ofyou t end to g ive in andsacr ifice for the otherp erson? Ordoyou both mov e on with unr esolvedconflict anddi sappointm en ts ?

Now see if th e dyn amics ofyo urre lationship is something you canli ve with forever. Do thi s beforey oueven m arry th e per son . Ma rr i ageis p ermanent in th e P h ilippines. Sosav e y ourself from t he legal hassleandmis ery that com es w ith a problem at ic union by t e stin g it firs t.Choose your spou se wise ly.

How do my hu sband a nd I d ea lwit h conflict ? We ll, we fight it out anddon't stopuntil it gets resolved. Weird

as it may s eem , aft er th e dram a, ther eal lea rn i ng a nd understandingbegins. We know that even if therea re quar re ls, our bond is a gi ven.Conflicts ar e opportunities for usto understand eac h other and learnhow to be tte r dea l with eac h other.

. We kn ew th at e ven b efo r e we g otm arri ed.

Now work ing together as husbandand wif e on abus iness is a littletrickier . Aside from emot ional andre lational issues, th ere's th e issueof mon ey a nd th e added pr essure ofmaking your compan y s urvive andthrive. Th ere ar e al so differences in

work s tyles.At the beginnin g of our work

rel ationship and busines s partnership , th ere was a tim e t hatwe re a lly butted head s. I t wasn'teasy, bu t let m e sh are with youthings th at helpedus ge t throughthe rough patch es. I gu ess youcould say that th ese are ou r secretstoa h appy workingp artnership in li fe an d in bus ine ss:

A ft@fQI'QQ.My husband andI arebu sinessp artn ers with ou rdea r friend Cindy. Interestingly,our s trengths compensate foreach ot her 's weakn esses . Soth ethree of us are v ery c ompatibleand i t has b eena t rul y amazing

partnership . But asi defr om herta lents and abil ities, Cindy h asoften unwittin gly taken the roleof th e re feree. Having a patientand und erstanding person withus helped us resol ve d ifferencesespecial lydu ringt he ea rlypa rt of

our wor king re lationship. (Thanks ,Cindsl)

D wing th Q Li n Althoughwe see eac h o ther daily , th ere's aclear line.Wor k is wo rk. Business isbu siness. Famil y is fa mily. In t ermsof finances, we se parate busi nessfinan ce f rom p ersonal financ e. Interms of our wo rk r elationship , wedoour b est to s eparate issuesof workfrom is sues of marriage . In term s o ffamily li fe, well, we arestill tryin g not

totalk aboutbusin ess too muchwhe nwe 'r e a t home.That's t he hardpart ,but w e are g etting bette r at it.

LlIugh About It . Th ere 's a lwayssomething funny th at happ ensin a day. Although we takeourc aree randbu sinessser ious ly, at the e ndofthe dayit's the experience oflife thatyouultim ately celebrate . Happinessisnotaboutth ea bsenceofprob lems.It is being ab le to see the silver lining and th e uniq ue mom ents that'simportant. We like spending day inandda y outwith eachoth er becauseit allows us to witn ess life's funnymom ents togeth er .

Attl\\ld@ o f GNU\\lfi , Whenyou are thankful of what you haveand grat eful for the seemingly littlethings that yourp artner does e verysingl e day, you naturall y become ahappi er person . Moreim port antly, itmak es yourpartn er feel app recia tedandhapp ier too.In fact,fo r me, thi s isthe rea l secre t to a happy ma rriage .Be gr ateful for the s pouse that youh ave b een blessed with. It 's thatsimple, really .

Working with you r spouse is notfor everyon e. I know of many coupleswhodonot work to geth er da ily, butar e neve rt heles s happy.I a lso knowof many coupl es who tri ed to worktoget her bu t e nded up wi th a bad

rom ance . But fortho seo fus whoa recompatibl e as partn ers bo th in li feand a t work, it' s pr etty a mazing. It isgr eat to b e able to seey our spousedayinanddayout,toh ave a commongoal,t o h aveso mething tota lk abouteveryday and t o laugh toge ther a syou witness li fe toget her .

During th e s ummit, a s weweregoing out of th e th e ater , a notherwom an tapp edme and sa id, "You'resolu cky." Yes, I be lieve I am a nd I' mvery, very gra teful.

Jhoanna O. G an -S o ispr esid en t of Bus inessmakerAcademy an d th e ma nagingdi r ector for HR Club Phil ipp ines . Her co mpa ny co nducts

s eminars on hu m an resou rcemanag ement , corporate sk illsdevelopmen t, an d companyt eambuildin g r e t r e at s fo rtheir .corpor at e clie nts . Sheis happi ly marr ied to Mar kSo . To know mo r e a bout theseminars tha t th ey offer , yo um ay v is it ww w . businessmake r-academy .com or call(632)687464 5. Yo u ma y visitw ww.hrclubph il ippi ne s fo rmore Wor k Life articles. Emailyour comment s and questionsto: mbwor klife@gmail .com .

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