worries, stress and stressbusting · overthinking. when our minds start telling us stories and...
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Dr. Richard SlingerLancashire Emotional Health in Schools
Service
Worries, Stress and Stressbusting
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What is anxiety or worry, or fear or stress?
• Worry is a NORMAL experience that happens to EVERYONE
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How would you describe it?
• If stress, worry or anxiety was a ‘thing’ that you could see, what would it look like?
• Would it be like an animal, or a monster, or an object, or a shape or a pattern?
• Would it say anything, or do anything?
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Worries and stress come from….
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Cavemen and Cavewomen
• Thousands of years ago the world was a much more dangerous place. We needed to stay safe so our brains evolved ways to do this.
• There aren’t so many dangers now, but our brains still try to keep us safe in the same way.
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The Caveman Mind Tells Us
• Always be on the lookout for danger.• If something goes wrong, remember it and
replay it.• Always try to fit in with the group.• Compare yourself to others to see if you
are doing it right.
• This is just our brain trying to keep us safe.• But all of these things cause us stress!
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What is stress?
• Stress is something that happens in our bodies and our minds– It happens to everybody– Like an alarm system alerting you to
threats– It gets your body ready to:
• Fight (stand and fight)• Flight (run away)• Freeze (wait for danger to pass)
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What is stress?
• Stress and fear are responses to things our brains think are dangers.
• It’s job is to keep us safe
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What we think changes how we feel
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Stress and the Brain
‘Upstairs’ or ‘new brain’
‘Downstairs’ or ‘old brain’
Caveman BrainSignals danger
NEW BRAINHelps us get control
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Emotions and the Brain
CAVEMAN/OLD BRAIN: in the centre of our brain is the
‘alarm system’ that keeps
track of everything
unpleasant and threatening
NEW BRAIN: at the front is our ‘thinking
brain’
This takes 19 years from
when you are born to
working fully
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Emotions and the Brain
CAVEMAN/OLD BRAIN:
something we see as dangerous
or threatening sets the alarm
off
NEW BRAIN: the sound of
the alarm makes it harder to
think
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What would your old brain do?
• Will make us feel panicky, hot and sweaty
• Turn our legs to jelly• Make our heart pound• Make us freeze• Make us want to get down• Stop us talking• Stop us thinking
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We need the new brain to help…
• I’m on a harness, I can’t fall off• I can stop this at any time• People have done this before and been ok• It’s not THAT high!
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What Are Our Minds Like?
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Overthinking
When our minds start telling us stories and over-thinking, it
often makes us stressed, as the stories it tells us are negative.
This is the mind looking for danger and trying to keep us
safe.
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Do You Ever…?
I need to get everything right, or there’s no point
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Do You Ever…?
I’m so rubbish at this
I’m such a worrier
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Do You Ever…?
That was good….but it doesn’t count
Next time will be worse
I still didn’t do it perfectly
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Do You Ever…?
It will never get better
Everyone is better than me at this
Nothing will ever change
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Our Minds
• Are hard to control• Tell us stories to try to make sense of
things• Try to keep us safe by telling us that
things are dangerous• Too much information in the world,
so it looks for danger first
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What Can We Do?
•Learn to relaxFeelings
•Think differently about a situation
Thoughts
•Do more things that make you happy
Mood
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Stopping Worries Right Now
BREATHESTOP!
BE HERE
LET IT GO
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When You Notice Your Mind Making Worries
• STOP: say ‘STOP’ to yourself when worrying thoughts happen
• DISTRACT YOURSELF: do something else, think about something else
STOP!
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FOFBOC
FEETOn the FLOOR
BOTTOMOn the CHAIR
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Distract - 54321
• Name 5 things you can see in the room with you• Name 4 things you can feel (“chair on my back” or “feet on floor”) • Name 3 things you can hear right now • Name 2 things you can smell right now (or, 2 things you like the smell of) • Name 1 good thing about yourself
STOP!
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BREATHE
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Why Think About Breathing?
• Stress makes our bodies ready to fight or run away
• This makes us breathe faster• This makes us hot, dizzy, and
distracted• This then makes us more worried!!
• If we can control our breathing we can feel calmer
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Square BreathingBREATHE
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BE HERE
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Our minds are like a time machine
• We are here right now.• But our minds are often time
travelling:– To the past, thinking about things that
have happened– To the future, thinking about things that
haven’t happened yet
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Be Here Now - Mindfulness
• How to calm our minds• Keep your mind, your attention and
your focus on this moment, here and now in THE PRESENT
BE HERE
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BE HERE
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LET IT GO
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What Do You See?
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Which of These Thoughts Are True?
• I can see into the future• I know what other people are thinking• I know what I will get in my exams• If I think about something a lot, it will
happen• If I worry about something enough, it
won’t happen
• OUR MINDS TELL US ALL OF THESE ARE TRUE
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Struggling with Worries
Can we ever get rid of worries?
NO – we will always find something to worry about
BUT – we can stop struggling and try to relax
AND – accept that worries are NORMAL
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Stop Struggling and Let It Go
Tell yourself calming things like……
LET IT GO
Thoughts are not real, they are made by my mind
It’s just my brain telling me
things
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Stopping Worries
THINK!
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
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Stressed Thoughts
• Can we learn to notice when our minds cause us problems?
• Can we ‘talk back’ to them, and stop them bothering us?
• We can only do this when our brain is working well: STOP, BREATHE, BE HERE and LET IT GO need to come first.
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Bossing Back Thoughts
• Our minds say things like:
“I’m going to mess this up”“I don’t think people will like me”
“This always goes wrong”
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Bossing Back Thoughts
• Is this thought really true?
• What are the facts?
• Even if it is true, can I stop letting it bother me?
• Is there better way of looking at this?
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Bossing Back Thoughts
• “I’m really going to mess this up”
This might not be true - it hasn’t happened yet!
What are the facts? How have you done this before? What helps?
How bad would it be if you didn’t do it well?
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Looking After Ourselves
• Do you ever find little things stressful, for no reason?
• This can be a sign that we are not looking after ourselves well.
• And that our skills to cope with stress are being used up elsewhere.
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Stress Bucket
Tests
Fall out with a friend
Argument with mum
Phone breaks
Drink spills on the floor
Stress
StressStress
Stress
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Emptying your stress bucket
• Tell someone and talk about it• Remember it is normal to feel
stressed, and doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you
• Try drawing your stress bucket tonight – can you talk to someone about it?
• What ideas do you have for looking after yourself?
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Be Kind to Yourself
• Am I doing enough of the things I enjoy?• Am I getting enough sleep?• Am I being active enough?• Am I thinking about stuff too much?• When can I ‘switch off’?
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What Should I Remember From Today?
• Worry and stress are normal. But some things can help
• Practice ways to calm worries: STOP, BREATHE, BE HERE, LET IT GO
• THINK - try bossing back your thoughts
• Talk to someone• Remember to do the things you enjoy
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Thanks for listening!