writing successful college and scholarship essays presented for lmsa by carol s. klein, the writing...

Writing Successful College and Scholarship Essays

presented for LMSAby Carol S. Klein, The Writing Center, Inc.

adapted from http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement ©All rights reserved.

http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement

The selection committee is looking for two different things:

1. Evidence of achievement not reflected in other parts of the application.

2. HOW and WHY the events the student describes have shaped his/her attitude, focus, and most of all, intellectual vitality.

© 2012 The Writing Center, Inc. 2April 19, 2023

SELL—the essay must bethoughtful and honest:

• Written to express, not to impress—reveal not just the what, but also the why and how of your achievements, obstacles, goals, values. – Don’t brag.

– Don’t suggest your goal for attending the college is money or status.


SELL—the essay must bethoughtful and honest:

Which of the following is the better opening for a College Essay:1.There are three reasons ABC College should accept me: My classmates voted me “Most Likely to Succeed,” I was the valedictorian of my class, and I lettered in three sports.

2. Coaching at ABC Baseball Camp this summer, I helped hone 20 ten-year-old boys’ batting and pitching skills. The boys taught me a lot about sportsmanship, courage, and the importance of having a good sense of humor.


SELL—the essay must deliver not breadth but depth:

• Don’t write an essay that devotes each paragraph to a different topic.

• Deliver steak, not just sizzle—(Your statements must be supported by facts.)

– If essay describes you as a “top student,” your grades should prove this.

– If “interested in the environment,” your list of activities, hobbies, classes should prove this.


SELL—the essay must follow the college’s instructions:

• An essay is an essay—not a poem, short story, or drawing.


SELL—the essay must“answer the mail”:

• Answer the question(s) as posed—for example, were you asked to Describe? Summarize? Or to Evaluate? Discuss?

• Start with a strong, catchy title and introduction that stand out and interest the reader—your hook.

• Follow the conventions of good writing.


SELL—Which of the following are recommended for successful essays?

1. Complaining /whining to reveal that you are a real person

2. Conforming to the essay guidelines/requirements

3. Revealing your character and values through your examples

4. Talking matter-of-factly about your time in jail or your drug use to show that you have overcome adversity and are ready to move on


SELL—the essay mustreveal you as:

• Resilient—not complaining but explaining how you overcame an obstacle.– Positive—a problem-solver.

• Confident—interested and committed; able to persevere in the face of adversity.

• Professional—no errors; evident that essay has been edited and proofread.


How FRAME the essay?Follow this process:

• Plan—Brainstorm and Gather Information

• Organize—Use Time-tested Template: Introduction, Body, Conclusion

• Write—Draft and Revise

• Edit—Edit and Proofread for Common Essay Errors; Elicit Feedback

April 19, 2023 © 2012 The Writing Center, Inc. 10

FRAME—Organize the essay: For two pages, use the following three main sections:

• An introductory paragraph that provides the essay’s controlling theme.

• Two to four body paragraphs that develop that theme through examples and detailed experiences that build upon each other.

• A conclusion that widens the lens and wraps up the essay without summarizing or repeating what has already been written.


FRAME—Plan the essay: Gather Information. Follow three steps.

STEP ONE. Address ONE of the following topics:• An achievement that made me feel terrific• Something I have struggled to overcome or change about myself or my life• A “real drag” of an experience that I had to get past • Someone’s act of strength or courage that affected me • A lesson, class project, activity, or job that impacted my academic or career

goals • A time I blew it, failed, made bad choices, and how I got past it • An event that helps to define me, in terms of my background

STEP TWO. Address the following three questions in your essay:– What were the key moments and details of the event?

– What did I learn from this event?

– What aspects of this event have stayed with me most?


writing successful college and scholarship essays presented for lmsa by carol s. klein, the writing...

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