WOMEN’S JOURNALAUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2007 25

You Can’t be Two Places at OnceBut Sitters and More CanWho is Sitters and More, Inc? We are a service agency owned locally by Registered Nurses Sherry Hunt

and Betty Peevyhouse. Both have extensive backgrounds in home care. Started in 1999, the agency provides personal assistants in the home for the elderly and disabled, as well as sitters in hospitals and other facilities. We also do limited childcare.

Our office is located at 125A Stonebridge Boulevard. We also have a branch office in Brentwood out of which we serve Middle Tennessee. We provide care from six hours to twenty-four hours per day. The care can consist of bathing, feeding, dressing, meal preparation and light housekeeping. We assess the individual needs and design a package to meet specific needs. Often we are able to bridge the gap between an independent living situation to a totally dependent one.

Currently, we employ approximately 150 individuals and are always eager to find competent, compassionate caregivers. We can be reached 24 hours a day to set up services or assist with planning the care for your loved ones. “Let us help!”

566 Carriage House Dr.731-660-3701 Waist, Tummy, Hip table

No membrship fees.No long term contracts.

First Session is

FREE!

“Since I started going to Ageless Choices, I have improved the way I look and feel. I

started in May and, at that time, I was having upper and lower back problems. I am also in

a high stress job which adds to my back and neck problems. I can now turn my neck from

side to side and the upper back pains are almost non-existent. Even my chiropractor can

tell the difference in my neck and back. I have more energy; my complexion has improved

as well. I also use the wraps and have lost over fi ve inches.

The tables, the relaxing atmosphere, and the wraps will help improve your health, your

looks, reduce stress and help you to feel better about yourself.”—Wilda Barton

Health & Fitness

WOMEN’S JOURNAL26 AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2007

How’s the Emotional Weather at Your House?by Melody Zuker, M.S., LPC/MHSP

Every home has a certain atmosphere. This atmosphere determines if your home is stormy or calm, warm or

cold, predictable or unpredictable. It affects how your family typically interacts, how comfortable you are with one another, and how much you enjoy spending time together.

Your family’s atmosphere is determined by the parenting style of each parent. This style has probably been practiced for generations. Parents may be unaware of the origin of their style and have never stopped to consider more positive alternatives.

Every family atmosphere is unique. Sometimes each parent has a different style. These styles may work well together or they may be in opposition. Children may become confused when these styles are in conflict. It’s hard to predict the outcome if the rules change from one parent to the other. They can even learn ways to work the system to their advantage by playing the parents against one another. If either parent is extreme, the other parent will try to compensate by either being stricter or more lenient which further unbalances the atmosphere

When parents are asked to identify the qualities and character traits they hope their children will develop as adults, most reply with qualities such as happy, caring, responsible, self-confident and emotionally mature. The family environment has been shown to have major effect in the development of these traits. A study by family researcher, Diana Baumrind, predicts character traits likely to develop in children raised in the three basic family atmospheres: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative.

AuthoritarianThe authoritarian style of parenting is one in which the parent’s

rules are rigid and controlling. This parent is always right, even when wrong and there is little verbal give and take. Punishment is frequent and the expectations are unreasonably high. Unfortunately, in this type of household, there is little expression of affection, warmth, or feelings. Children are not encouraged to offer their ideas or express their thoughts.

In the authoritarian family atmosphere, there may be conflict and tension, distrust may develop between parent and child, power struggles are common, children are either rebellious or withdrawn, depending

upon the temperament of the child. Children have low self esteem and often reject parental values and beliefs. Because children are not taught to trust their own ideas and feelings, they have difficulty developing close relationships. They have a tendency to experiment with drugs and alcohol, especially when this behavior is in conflict with the family’s value system. Also, these children have poor self-control outside the rigid system of the home.

PermissiveAt the other end of the spectrum is the permissive parent

who avoids conflict and provides little structure. There are few rules and guidelines which are only imposed after complete frustration. Many times the permissive parent gives up and allows the children to do as they please. The household is typically disorganized with little consistency. However, the communication in the family is open with a free exchange of ideas and feelings. The relationship between the parent and child is typically friendly and nurturing.

Even though the permissive family atmosphere is nurturing, children often feel unloved and insecure, perhaps because children perceive the absence of rules as a lack of caring. The children also fail to develop important character traits for future success, such as self-control, responsibility, and thoughtfulness of others. They lack the ability to adapt to the rules of school and society in general because rules have never applied to them. They tend to be immature and self–absorbed because they have experienced immediate gratification too often in their lives and no corresponding connection to the need for responsibility. They, too, are more likely to become involved in drugs and alcohol.

Authoritative (Democratic)This third parenting style is characterized by a balance between the

authoritarian and permissive styles. The parent is clearly in charge and there are well-defined guidelines rather than rigid rules. There is communication, especially about ideas and feelings. Children participate in family decisions when appropriate. Communication is mutually respectful. Boundaries are negotiable depending on the circumstances and safety issues. Children are given age-appropriate responsibilities. The relationships are loving and affectionate, allowing for mistakes and imperfection.

Children become more self-accepting when they are respected for their uniqueness. They are more successful and develop self-confidence when they are given responsibilities within their ability levels. When children are allowed to be more independent, they learn to make better decisions and to take responsibility for their actions. When the family communicates about emotional topics, children learn to respect and trust their own thoughts and feelings and are more capable of caring for others. Overall, the predictions for the children reared in the authoritative/democratic family atmosphere are that they tend to be happy and remain close to their family’s values and beliefs.

In order for families to weather the inevitable storms of child rearing, it is important that parents plan the type of family atmosphere they want to create for their children. Both parents must agree and remain united in their approach. Regardless of what type of family atmosphere you knew as a child, it is possible to transform your home into the type of “climate” that will foster in your children the character traits and happiness you wish for them.

Melody Zuker is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Jackson, Tennessee. Her practice is open to all ages and deals with anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, and eating disorders. She specializes in adolescents and learning disabilities and has been a parent educator for over 15 years. She is the mother of twin daughters. She and her husband, Fred, live in Jackson..

131 Tucker Street, Suite 8 ◆ Jackson, TN 38301(731) 421-0470 ◆ melodyzuker@bellsouth.net

•Tweens, Teens and Adults•Individual and Group Psychotherapy•Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Eating Disorders and Life Transitions•College Placement Counseling

Licensed Professional CounselorMelody A. Zuker, M.S., L.P.C./M.H.S.P.

Family