zach perri intervention

ZACH PERRI INTERVENTION/OTHER ISSUES Conducted by : Tom Maio Alex Shitman Bill Pettis Colin Lord

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Post on 04-Aug-2015




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Page 1: Zach perri intervention


Conducted by : Tom MaioAlex Shitman

Bill Pettis Colin Lord

Page 2: Zach perri intervention

Don’t Kill Yourself!

As friends of yours we feel it would be best if you don’t kill yourself

Your life is greatly appreciated and we enjoy your presence so don’t do it

You have your whole life ahead of you and you have a bright future as a landscaper! So don’t ruin your dream now

The number of professional landscapers in this group would drop 100% as a result of your potential death which is illustrated by this chart # of lawnmowers

Zach Perri Rest of Group

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How did we know this?

You are probably wondering how we knew that you throwing suicide around very loosely

The answer is this: for the past week Litman has been texting you ex Marisa under the alias of “Russ”

Litman has basically found out everything about your relationship with her and she still thinks he is “Russ”

She is the one who actually said it was Russ as Litman simply texted her from his number and said it was one of Zach's friends and she said, “Is this Russ, “ and Litman never said it wasn’t and continued to portray the persona of “Russ”

Litman tried his hardest to keep you two together but she made her own decision against litman’s advice so its not his fault

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Open your eyes Stevie Wonder!

She doesn’t really like you that much, you just threaten to kill yourself so she stays with you

She doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer and even went as far as saying, “I deserve better than him”

What a bitch!!! She also said because you

sucked at fingering her (the 1st time) she got with Cheese and let him finger her just cause she didn’t like your style

She is a loudmouth bitch who thinks she's tough and is spoiled by your loving human nature

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The ship has sailed and its time to move on

You deserve and can do better than her

She was talking shit on the fact that you bought her bravo pizza and on Paddock Park

Its time for you to move on and stop being a jabroni

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Again, Don’t Kill Yourself

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Fuck You! You are a backstabbing fuck for

choosing to go to senior week with Frisbee faggots

You didn’t even have the balls to tell us yourself we had to find out using extremely good investigative skills

What if we hadn’t found out?

Were you ever going to tell us??????

This is worse than Judas, who may I remind you, betrayed the one and only lord baby Jesus Christ

Thats you in the picture -------

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How could you choose them?????

Most of them are gay/fat/curly headed fucks

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Fight Proposal

In light of this news we would like to propose a fight between your house and our house

We will kick the shit out of you faggots Except for Logue (who will shit his pants) Zing!!! But Lord will be prepared to fuck shit up Litman shart his pants

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You’re Gay

In response to your gayness you will not be allowed at diesels shore house at any point during the summer

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If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please contact Alex Litman through email or phone at

[email protected]

267-882-6500 ext. shit

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The End