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Expectations and Development of ChildrenNurturing ParentingSection 6.2GOALTo increase parents’ awareness of the impact expectations have upon growth and development

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OBJECTIVES

To Increase Parents’ Awareness of the Importance of Appropriate Expectations.To Encourage Parents to Review Child Development Charts.

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Expectations we have for our children contribute to their overall feelings of negative or positive self-worth.

Expectations that are appropriate and doable promote a healthy sense of self and communicate encouragement through achievement and effort.

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On the other hand, inappropriate expectations are an emotional form of cancer that ultimately kills a child’s sense of mastery, cooperation, participation and spirit.

When expectations are inappropriate, children cannot please their parents no matter how hard they try. The likely result is a sense of failure.

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Please Respond to the Following:

a. One expectations my parents had for me that I did achieve was ___________ and I felt ____________.

b. One expectation my parents had for me that I couldn't achieve was __________ and I felt ____________.

c. The outcome of these two actions in my adult life has been ____________.

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Child Growth and Development

Growth and development in children is like spiral stairs going from limited capabilities to more and more advanced skills as the child gets older.As the child grows, they become more and more capable of doing things for themselves.This skill is called Autonomy.

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Autonomy and Independence

Autonomy and Independence are nature’s way of helping all of us survive babyhood and grow to mature adults.Parents don’t always view this growth as desirable and often refer to it as a terrible period of development.The “terrible two’s” is a term used to describe adult’s resistance to children’s demands to become more autonomous.

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Define Autonomous

a : existing or capable of existing independently

b : responding, reacting, or developing independently of the whole <an autonomous growth>

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Developing Autonomy

Referring to developing autonomy as “terrible” communicates to children that using your personal power to do things for yourself, have your own opinions, decide things for yourself and explore your environment are skills parents don’t condone.The message is: Children shouldn’t be seen or heard.Instead of the “Terrible Two’s”, let the children know that growth is terrific.The “Terrific Two’s” encourages and empowers children.

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Developing Self-Esteem and Self-Concept in Children

Making appropriate expectations of children is an initial step in developing DISCIPLINE in the home.A happy child with positive regard for self is an easier child to be with and manage than on who is angry, oppositional, and resentful.

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Locate “Expectations and Development of Children” in your handbooks

Lesson 10, pages 31-35.Discuss the following concepts with the parents:Nature versus Nurture

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Nature versus Nurture

The debate of whether children are more influenced by their genetics (nature) or by the way they are parented (nurture) is over.The argument focus on wherther children develop good or bad behaviors because they were born that way (nature) or because they were treated that way (nurture, or in the case of bad character, the lack of it)

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Nature versus Nurture (cont)

Well, after hundreds of years of thousands of debates over the centuries, professionals on both sides have finally reached a conclusion: we are who we are as a result of the relationship between nature and nurture.In essence, it’s not a contest, but a

dance.

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Nature versus Nurture (cont)

Everyone comes into this world with genetic make-up, or nature, such as, height, skin color, hair color, etc. These are the gifts the parents gave at birth.Temperament, sexual preference, predisposition to alcoholism, to cancer, and to other illnesses are some of the things that are part of us.Try as you may, you are genetically determined to be. But, the environment or nature can influence these predispositions and how, or if they will play out.By taking care of your body and building self-esteem can change many of the predispositions of nature.

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Development Stages

Development stages are periods of time children grow and learn new things.There are four kinds opf developmental sages: Physical Language Intellectual Social and emotional

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Development Stages (cont)

Everyone goes through stages of growth throughout life.Knowing what to expect at various stages of growth is important for children to develop a positive self-concept and self-esteem.Parents who place inappropriate development expectations on their children encourage them to feel inadequate.

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Child Development Chart

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/ca/fosterparents/training/chidev/cd06.htm

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PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Five to Six Years

Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting

Can dress and undress self. Allow independence with clothing.

May be farsighted, a common condition, causing hand and eye coordination problems.

Have child's eyes examined if problem persists. Accept awkwardness as a normal condition at this time.

Is able to care for own toilet needs independently.

 

May have stomachaches or vomit when asked to eat disliked foods; prefers plain cooking but accepts wider choice of foods; may have larger appetite.

Offer appealing varieties in food, but don't force child to eat anything.

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PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Six to Seven Years OldNormal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting

Is vigorous, full of energy, and generally restless, e.g., foot tapping, wiggling, being unable to sit still.

Provide opportunities for a variety of physical activities.

Is clumsy due to poor coordination. Is in an ugly duckling stage. Has growth spurts.

Don't point out or emphasize clumsiness or change of appearance.

May occasionally wet or soil him-/herself when upset or excited.

Accept accidents calmly as the child is apt to be embarrassed.

Has marked awareness of sexual differences; may want to look at bodies of opposite sex (playing doctor, house, etc.); touches and plays with genitals less frequently; will accept the idea that a baby grows in the womb.

Give simple, honest answers in a calm manner.

Has unpredictable preferences and strong refusals; often develops a passion for peanut butter.

Provide balanced meals, but don't be overly concerned with child's preferences or passion.

Eats with fingers and talks with mouth full. Don't overreact; set a good example.

Commonly suffers more colds, sore throats, and other illness, because of exposure at school.

Be aware of disease symptoms. Crankiness may preceed an illness. Child needs plenty of rest and balanced meals.

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PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Seven to Eight Years

Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting

Drives self until exhausted. Assist child in changing activity to avoid complete exhaustion; be aware of child's physical limits.

May frequently pout. Be patient, as child may not necessarily unhappy or dissatisfied, but is going through a stage.

Now has well-established hand-eye coordination and is likely to be more interested in drawing and printing.

Provide opportunities and materials for drawing and printing.

May have minor accidents. Have plenty of fun band-aids on hand.

Is less interested in sex play and experimentation; can be very excited about new baby in family.

Encourage child-infant relationship, if present.

Has fewer illnesses but may have colds of long duration; appetite is decreasing.

Fine tune your supportive bedside manner.

May develop nervous habits or assume awkward positions, e.g., sitting upside down on the couch, constant foot tapping.

Be patient with annoying habits, and do not draw attention to awkwardness.

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PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Eight to Nine Years

Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting

Is busy and active; has frequent accidents. Sympathize and comfort.

Makes faces, wiggles, clowns. Don't take it seriously.

May frequently urinate as a result of anxiety. Be tolerant; it's not deliberate.

Has good appetite; wolfs down food; belches spontaneously; may accept new foods.

Except for belching, rejoice!

Has improved health with a few short illnesses.

Rejoice again.

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PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Nine to Ten Years

Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting

Engages in active, rough-and-tumble play (especially boys); has great interest in team games.

Provide many opportunities to sustain interest. Include team games.

Has good body control; is interested in developing strength, skill, and speed; likes more complicated crafts and work-related tasks.

Provide opportunities for developing skills through the use of handicrafts and active games.

Girls are beginning to develop faster than boys. Do not compare boys and girls or force them to interact. Start teaching about bodily changes. Explain menstruation to both sexes.

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PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Ten to Eleven Years

Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting

Girls may have rapid weight increase.

Provide good nutrition.

Boys are more active and rough; motor skills are well-developed.

To fine tune manual skills, put in a basketball hoop and/or provide roller blades.

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PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT: Eleven to Twelve Years

Normal Characteristics Suggested Behaviors for Effective Parenting

Is increasingly aware of body. Answer questions about bodily changes openly and honestly.

Possibility of acting on sexual desires increases.

Be aware of where youth is and with whom; encourage group activities and discourage solo dating.

Girls begin to show secondary sex characteristics.

Ensure that girls understand menstruation. Both boys and girls need sexual education.

Boys are ahead of girls in endurance and muscular development. Rapid growth may mean large appetite but less energy.

Don't nag boys about food intake and seeming "laziness."

May show self-consciousness about learning new skills.

Provide support and encouragement for youth's quest for new skills. Don't minimize or dismiss his/her lack of confidence.