1 inter-act, 13 th edition inter-act, 13 th edition chapter 6 relationships relationships
TRANSCRIPT
Chapter ObjectivesDiscuss the functions of
communication in relationshipsDescribe how relationships differ
and are categorizedExplain how relationships change
during their life cyclesIdentify the issues in each stage
of the life cycle that require effective communication
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Relationship – a set of expectations two people have for their behavior based on the pattern of interaction between them
Good relationship – interactions are satisfying to and healthy for those involved
Abusive relationship –
interactions are physically, mentally, or emotionally harmful
Functions of Relationships
1. Constitutive function – Relationships come about through interactions
2. Instrumental function – Communication is a way to “get things done” in the relationship
3. Indexical function – The “thermometer” of a relationship; measures who is in control, how much partners trust each other, and the level of intimacy in the relationship
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How Relationships Differ• Impersonal vs. Personal
• Voluntary vs. Involuntary
• Platonic vs. Romantic
Types of Relationships
1. Acquaintances – people we know by name and talk with when the opportunity arises, but with whom our interactions are limited
2. Friends – people with whom we have voluntarily negotiated more personal relationships
3. Close friends or intimates – those with whom we share a deep commitment, trust, interdependence, disclosure, and affection • 6
Class ActivityIn groups of 3-4, identify the
different expectations you have for acquaintances, friends, “best friends,” and lovers
What happens when two people have different expectations? How do you progress from one type of relationship to another? Do we sometimes have unrealistic expectations of people?
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Gender Differences
TalkingDisclosing personal
historySharing personal
feelings
Joint activitiesDoing favors for
each otherSuccessive tests of
dependability
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Women develop close
friendships through:
Men develop close
friendships through:
Dimensions of Relationships
1. Interdependence2. Depth3. Breadth4. Commitment5. Understanding and Predictability6. Communication Coding7. Sharing Social Networks
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As dimensions increase, relationships develop;
as they decrease, relationships deteriorate.
Self-disclosure & Feedback:The Johari Window
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Open Blind
Secret Unknown
Known to self
Not knownto self
Known toothers
Not knownto others
V / V, ch.3
The Role of Self-DisclosureSocial Penetration Theory:
Self-disclosure is integral to all stages of relationships, but changes over time.
The nature and type of self-disclosure change as people become more intimate.
When disclosure is reciprocated, the relationship becomes intimate.
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Self-Disclosure Guidelines
Disclose information that you want others to disclose to you.
Disclose information appropriate for the type of relationship.
Disclose intimate information only when it represents an acceptable risk.
Be sensitive to your partner’s ability to absorb your disclosure.
Reserve intimate or very personal disclosures for ongoing relationships.
Continue intimate self-disclosure only when it is reciprocated.
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Extra Credit OpportunityDo you have problems either
disclosing personal information or providing your relationship partner with feedback? Write a communication improvement plan (for assistance see worksheet at www.oup.com/us/verderber ) and follow the Assignment Rubric
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Relationship Life CyclesRelationships move through
identifiable stages.Turning points:
Events that mark a transition from one stage to another
Lead to greater intimacy or to deterioration of relationship
Happen at all stages in a relationship
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Extra Credit OpportunityObserve and Analyze (p173)Select one long-term relationship,
identify the turning points, indicate whether each was a positive event that strengthened the relationship or negative event that weakened relationship intimacy. Discuss these with the other person and describe the outcome.
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Beginning Relationships
Communication focuses on: Increasing knowledge of the otherReducing uncertainty Increasing interaction
Predicted Outcome Value Theory:We gather information to predict whether the
benefits of future interactions will outweigh the costs.
Stages of Beginning Relationships:EntryPersonalExit
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Developing Relationships
Increasing disclosureKeeping a relationship at a particular level of
closeness or intimacyFrequent communicationEmerging interdependence
Interpersonal Needs Theory:Relationship depends on how well each person
meets the interpersonal needs of the other.◦ Affection◦ Inclusion◦ Control
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Exchange Theory:Relationships understood in terms of exchange of
rewards and costs during interactions Cost/Reward ratio
Rewards – needs metCosts – time and energy spent developing relationship
Relationships develop and are sustained when partners choose to meet each other’s needs.
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Sustaining Relationships
Use pro-social behaviors.Observe ceremonial occasions.Spend time together as a couple and with
mutual friends.Communicate frequently.Words and actions reassure continuing
affection, discretion, trustworthiness.Share tasks.
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Relational Dialectics• The conflicting pulls that exist in relationships as well
as within each individual in a relationshipAutonomy/Connection• I need my own space. I want to be close.
Novelty/Predictability• We need to do I like the familiar
rhythms we have.
Openness/Closedness• I like sharing so There are some things I don’t want
to talk about.