11 cohesion and flow: bringing your paper together rachel grammer writing tutor
TRANSCRIPT
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Session Overview
• Importance of cohesion and flow• Techniques, tools, and language to use
– Focusing ideas– Thesis development– Outlining
• Tips for evaluating your own work
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What are cohesion and flow?
From Merriam-Webster’s Online: • Cohesion: “the act or state of sticking
together tightly”• Flow: “a smooth uninterrupted movement
or progress”– In academic writing, this means writing a
focused work (“sticking together”) that progresses naturally from idea to idea (“smooth movement”).
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Why do they matter?
As an academic writer, you want to create a paper that is
• easy to understand,• logically ordered, and• enjoyable to read.
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Example Paragraph #1
I went to the market. I got a bunch of apples. I went to the park. I like birds. Birds eat worms and sometimes berries. There are many different types of birds like blue jays, hawks, and pigeons. I like to feed pigeons and sit down. My back hurt. I go to the doctor.
ProblemsWhat is the focus?
→ Is it the market? The park? Birds?
Short, clunky sentences
No relationship between sentences/events
Verb tense shifts
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Revised Example Paragraph #1
I had a rather eventful day. First, I went to the market, where I picked up a bunch of fresh apples. Next, I walked to the park and sat down on a bench to feed the pigeons. When I stood up again, my back began to hurt, so I took a cab to the doctor’s office.
SolutionsEstablish topic/focus of paragraph
Use time cues as transitions
Vary sentence structure and length
Eliminate unnecessary information (birds)
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Example Paragraph #2Cook (2010) supported the idea of differentiated instruction. Jones (2007) stated that students work best by rote memorization. Educators should focus on teaching to the individual needs and abilities of their students. Some students will slip through the cracks. Applying varied strategies in the classroom helps “encourage each student’s potential without the need for traditional intervention” (Nygaard, 2010, p. 64).
ProblemsBuried topic sentence
No relationship between researchers’ ideas
Casual language
No closing sentence
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Revised Example Paragraph #2Educators should focus on teaching to the individual needs and abilities of their students. Cook (2010), for instance, supported the idea of differentiated instruction. Though Jones (2007) stated that students work best by rote memorization, recent research has shown that some students do not respond well to this style of teaching. Instead, teachers need to apply varied strategies in the classroom to help “encourage each student’s potential without the need for traditional intervention” (Nygaard, 2010, p. 64). Such strategies meet each student’s individual learning style and pair low achievers with high achievers to promote sharing and collaboration.
SolutionsMove topic sentence to first position Include transitional expressions
Maintain formal scholarly voice
Close idea of paragraph and hint at the next idea
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Constructing Your Thesis
Thesis: “a position or proposition that a person…advances and offers to maintain by argument” (Merriam-Webster, 2011)
• Examine your ideas or notes to discover what they collectively suggest.
• This suggestion will inform your thesis.
Sample: The SAT test’s cultural insensitivity contributes to low scores among male minority students.
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Constructing Your Thesis: Example Prompt
Discussion post question: “Should colleges admit female minority students with lower SAT scores than their peers who belong to the majority?” Providing two clear reasons, explain why or why not.
Sample Position: The SAT test’s cultural insensitivity contributes to low scores among female minority students
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Constructing Your Thesis: Example Notes• SAT questions have been skewed toward experience of middle class
white Americans (Hykerman, 2009).
– Sample SAT question that highlights this claim.
• A larger percentage of minority students are in a position of low socioeconomic status and, as a result, cannot afford the same SAT prep programs as many within the majority (Smith, 2012).
– Statistical example (over x percent of minority students taking SAT are below poverty line.)
• Recent statistics reveal that the SAT is a less accurate indicator of female collegiate success than grade point average and extracurricular activities (Snyder, 2012)
– Statistics concerning relationship of GPA and success, etc.
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Constructing Your Thesis: Example Thesis
• “Because current SAT questions are skewed to reflect white, middle class life experience and are often an inaccurate indicator of academic success, colleges should admit female minority students with lower SAT scores than their peers who belong to the social majority.”
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Constructing Your Thesis
• Use this thesis to focus the text and guide organization.
• You’ll need to effectively prove the argument through examination of research.
Anything that doesn’t work toward the thesis doesn’t belong in the paper.
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Outlining Your Paper
• Offers visual representation of your paper• Allows you to map out the progression of
your argument• Order by major elements: Introduction,
body of the paper, and conclusion• Use headings to organize body
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Outlining Your Paper
Provide context and establish argument
Subtopics expand on the general topic of the heading
Provide closure, ensure cohesion!
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As you write...
• ...focus on local elements of your paper that will create cohesion:– Paragraph structure and organization– Use of transitions– Language choices
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Paragraphing
• A paper is a collection of paragraphs– Be strategic when creating paragraphs
• Categorize information• Support with evidence
– Create a funnel shape for each paragraph
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Paragraph Structure
1. What you put in the top of the funnel must relate to what
comes before it. Use this opening sentence to introduce an idea, like a miniature thesis
for the paragraph.
2. Follow your topic sentence with scholarly support and
start to narrow the topic with this evidence.
4. What comes out of the funnel should conclude the topic of that paragraph and lead into
the next.
3. Analyze your evidence to narrow your topic even more
and contextualize it within that paragraph.
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Paragraph Connections
• How do the paragraphs relate?– Add onto the previous one?– Contradict the previous paragraph’s
argument?– Conclude an entire section of paragraphs?
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Types of Transitions
Relationship Term/Phrase
AdditionAlso, moreover, furthermore, besides,
first/second/third/etc., too
Concession However, in spite of, nevertheless
CausationHence, accordingly, consequently,
because of, therefore
SummationAltogether, finally, in conclusion, hence,
consequently
For a comprehensive list of transitional terms, make sure to check out: http://writingcenter.waldenu.edu/js/502.htm
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Transitions Between Paragraphs
• Note the relationship between two or more paragraphs
... Jones (2009) confirmed that the store manager had no future plans to provide apples to his patrons.
While apples were no longer available, oranges were still an option at Market X. They are not as popular of a fruit, according to...
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Transitions Within Paragraphs
• Note relationships between sentences within a paragraph
Without a transition:
Jones (2009) found that pigeons were dirty animals. Fillmore (2006) stated that pigeons made great pets.
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Transitions Within ParagraphsWith a transition:
Chronological: Jones (2009) found that pigeons were dirty animals. Previously,
Fillmore (2006) stated that pigeons made great pets.
Contradictory: Jones (2009) found that pigeons were dirty animals. On the other hand, Fillmore (2006) stated that pigeons made great pets.
Concession:Jones (2009) found that pigeons were dirty animals.
Nevertheless, Fillmore (2006) stated that pigeons made great pets.
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Transition Tips
• Do not overuse transitions, either in word choice or frequency
Additionally, the author found....Also, he discovered....Furthermore, the study noted...Moreover, the results displayed...Finally, the article...
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Language and Word Choice
• Importance of consistent language– Papers with multiple authors– Longer documents written sporadically
• Avoid intensifiers, colloquialisms, and clichés
• Links to scholarly writing handouts: http://writingcenter.waldenu.edu/js/798.htm
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After you write...
• Reading aloud– Halts/stops– Audience reactions
• Reviewing visually– Balance
• Use of headings• Paragraph/section length
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In review…1. Prewriting for cohesion and flow2. Focusing one’s thoughts3. Writing a clear thesis4. Organizing a draft5. Writing “funnel shaped” paragraphs6. Using transitions effectively7. Using consistent language8. Reading aloud9. Revising visually