5 reasons mentoring relationships fail

5 Reasons Mentoring

Relationships Fail - and how to

make sure yours doesn’t!

Ann Rolfe

Mentoring is critical to Career success and

satisfaction

It offers significant benefits to both mentors and mentorees

But mentoring

is not always

effective

Straus, S., Johnson, M., Marquesz, C., and Feldman, M. (2013) Characteristics of Successful

and Failed Mentoring Relationships Acad Med January 2013; 88(1): 82-89

Recent research in an academic setting identified

5 characteristics

of failed mentoring relationships

Straus, S., Johnson, M., Marquesz, C., and Feldman, M. (2013) Characteristics of Successful

and Failed Mentoring Relationships Acad Med January 2013; 88(1): 82-89

The good news is they also revealed 5 characteristics of successful mentoring!

Features of Failure(so you can avoid them)

#1 Poor communication

#2 lack of commitment

#3 Personality differences

#4 Perceived (or real) competition

#5 Mentor’s lack of experience

Secrets of Success(so you can apply them)

#1 Reciprocity

Development for both mentor and mentoree

#2 Mutual respect

#3 Clear expectations

#4 Personal connection

#5 Shared values

Value

Value

Features of Failure Secrets of Success

Poor Communication Reciprocity

Lack of Commitment Mutual Respect

Personality Differences Clear Expectations

Perceived/Real Competition Personal Connection

Mentor’s Lack of Experience Shared Values

Summary

Straus, S., Johnson, M., Marquesz, C., and Feldman, M. (2013) Characteristics of Successful

and Failed Mentoring Relationships Acad Med January 2013; 88(1): 82-89

No one wants to fail

So set yourself up for success!

from the start with these 5 steps …

#1 Build Rapport

Look for what you have in

common

!

Personal & professional background Interests, hobbies, sport

Features of Failure Secrets of Success

Poor Communication Reciprocity

Lack of Commitment Mutual Respect

Personality Differences Clear Expectations

Perceived/Real Competition Personal Connection

Mentor’s Lack of Experience Shared Values

Building Rapport develops

#2 Discuss Expectations

Share and clarify what

you each want …

Your purpose and goals

Scope and boundary of the relationship

Roles and Responsibilities

Logistics - practical aspects

Features of Failure Secrets of Success

Poor Communication Reciprocity

Lack of Commitment Mutual Respect

Personality Differences Clear Expectations

Perceived/Real Competition Personal Connection

Mentor’s Lack of Experience Shared Values

Discussing Expectations helps deal with:

#3 Create an Agreement

Negotiate ways you will respect

each other’s time, needs and differences …

Etiquette - do’s and don’ts

Ethics - code of conduct

Ground rules/ guidelines

Features of Failure Secrets of Success

Poor Communication Reciprocity

Lack of Commitment Mutual Respect

Personality Differences Clear Expectations

Perceived/Real Competition Personal Connection

Mentor’s Lack of Experience Shared Values

An agreement deals with:

#4 Understand mentoring is a two-way street

Mentoring benefits both parties

!

Both mentors and mentors will develop and grow

!

!

!

Mentors are not expected to have all the answers

Mentors listen and ask as much (or more)

than they show and tell

Features of Failure Secrets of Success

Poor Communication Reciprocity

Lack of Commitment Mutual Respect

Personality Differences Clear Expectations

Perceived/Real Competition Personal Connection

Mentor’s Lack of Experience Shared Values

Seeing mentoring as two-way deals with

#5 Schedule a Review

What you’ve achieved !

What’s working well !

What you’d prefer to do differently

!

After a few meetings have a conversation about:

Confirm your commitment to continue mentoring

A review allows you to:

!Seek additional !support, guidance !or resources

Or

!

Or, Agree to exit the relationship without fault or failure

Available in ebook or hardcopy

www.mentoring-works.com

I’m Ann Rolfe!I’ve specialised in mentoring

since 1994. !

I provide consulting, mentoring workshops,

keynotes, books and online learning

based on adult learning, and career development

!Visit !

www.mentoring-works.com !

Contact!ann@mentoring-works.com

+61 2 4342 2610