balance of life e book
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Balance of Life
Achieving a Balanced Scorecard
In these frenetic times, where earning a living or attending to a family can seem to take
up 90% of our free time, there is an even greater danger of our lives getting out of balance. This
was expressed well in the following offering:
What is Important in Life?
If you don’t know what is important, then everything is important.
When everything is important, then you have to do everything.
When you have to do everything, you don’t have time to think about what is really important.
Anon
It is important to take time to reflect on our balance in life – are some aspects of our daily
life dominating all others? Much has been written recently about our work-life balance; how
more and more workers are putting in long hours; how the increasing number of women in the
workforce is putting pressure on family life; how modern communication is seeing an intrusion
of work into personal time. But there are several other important spokes in an evenly-balanced
life wheel.
Recreation/Leisure
This vital part of a balanced lifestyle may involve sports, hobbies, travel, gardening - a
whole range of leisure pursuits. These pursuits may require training, coaching, or study; all of
which will present a new challenge and result in a new outlook on life. They will mean new
associations and even a new range of friendships. But there can be a downside. A friend once
described how he had let an obsession with sport take over his life. He discovered the sport of
lawn bowls late in life. Every weekend was devoted to playing bowls virtually from dawn to
dusk. It got to the stage where he was going down to the bowling club every working day to
practise at lunchtime and again after work. This led to his neglecting not only his family life but
his business as well. It took quite an effort for him to get his life back in balance by restricting
his bowling to one day per week.
Similar sports addicts can be seen at any golf club, tennis club or squash club. They
neglect their families in the pursuit of modest achievement at their chosen ‘sport’. When such
pursuits become an obsession, it is necessary to take a step back and analyse just why this
activity has taken over your life – boredom with your job? Lack of self esteem? Problems with
your marriage? Once the real reason for this obsession is known, then you can tackle the problem
rather than avoiding it by immersing yourself in this distraction.
Career/Money
Similarly, the demands of a job can become overwhelming and dominate your life.
Workaholics can be seen all around us and the impact of their long work hours on family, friends
and social life is obvious to all of us. It is a fact that we all work harder than we did twenty years
ago and that one person seems to be now doing the job previously done by two in those times. A
recent study found that 35% of New Zealand men worked more than 50 hours per week. It is
important to keep one’s work in balance so that there is adequate time for family, leisure and the
other important life choices.
An example of this was a friend who was heavily involved in a computer-based business.
This took him around the country a lot and there was little time for family or a healthy lifestyle.
A massive heart attack when at the age of forty saw him re-evaluate his life during the long
recovery period. He decided to quit his demanding job and become something he had always
wanted to be – a troutfishing guide. Now he has several months off each year during the closed
fishing season to devote to his young family. His new occupation keeps him a lot fitter with a
minimum of stress and he now looks forward to what each day brings.
There is evidence from recent studies that once you are earning over $50,000 per year,
you will be better off finding ways of cutting back your work hours to spend the time on more
healthy pursuits. It can take a lot of effort to earn a much higher income and you need to question
if the extra time/effort is really worthwhile.
Family/Friends
Some questions to ask yourself:
Are you loved by the people that mean most to you?
Are you close to your parents? (Were you close to your parents?)
Are you close to your children? Are there any issues between you and your children?
Do you spend a high proportion of your leisure time with your children?
Are you happy with your spouse/partner? Or happy being single?
Do you spend time with your extended family – brother/sister/aunt/uncle/niece/nephew?
Do your grandchildren want to spend time with you?
Have you a few close friends you could rely on in a crisis?
Have you a wide circle of friends with varying interests?
If your answers are not mainly in the positive, it is time to consider devoting more time to your
family and friends.
Solitude/Wellness
This aspect of a balanced lifestyle is often overlooked, especially by busy people. It is
vital for your wellbeing to find time for yourself. A goal of setting aside at least 30 minutes per
day just for you is a reasonable one. It may take the form of meditation in a quiet room, a long
walk in the woods, a sail in your dinghy or going fishing. We all know people who lead such
frenetic lives that they hardly a moment to themselves. An example is the harassed Mum ferrying
three kids to a variety of after-school activities as well as running the household, doing the
shopping, looking after aged parents and trying to catch up with friends. Time for oneself is often
neglected and poor health can be the result. This may range from a lack of fitness, through to
serious health problems including mental health issues – all due to a lack of allocation of time
just for you.
The following exercise is recommended when you need to centre yourself to gain some
inner calm at stressful times:
Find a quiet place, preferably with subdued lighting
Stand erect, arms at your side and gently close your eyes
Breathe in deeply, inhaling calmness
Breathe out tension, stress and worry
With each breath in, become calmer and gain more energy
With each breath out, allow negative thoughts or worries to flow away
Allow your body and mind to be washed over by healing energy
Feel the wholeness of your body in harmony with your mind
Take a last deep breath and face the world refreshed and invigorated
Home Improvement/Living Environment
Are you proud of your home?
Is it well-maintained or is there a long list of honey do’s?
Is the interior finished to your satisfaction?
Does the garden give you pleasure when you look at it?
This is another area that is often neglected in our tumultuous rush through life. You do not need
to completely renovate your house over the course of a year – that is asking for your home to be
included on the DIY Rescue reality TV series. The makeover does not need to be major, maybe
just one room at a time. That way, over a period of six or seven years, you will have achieved a
complete renovation of your house. You can liken it to painting the Auckland Harbour Bridge –
by the time you finish, it is time to start again! It might well be necessary to take a course in
carpentry or Interior Design at your local Night School. This will not only provide you with
another challenge but give you a great feeling of accomplishment when you have finally
completed your renovations.
Community Service/Spiritual
There is a great deal of satisfaction to be gained from helping others. Your own problems
become less important when you see how worse off others may be. Other benefits include
increased mental stimulation as you cope with new challenges and demands.
A good example of this was provided by an elderly relative. Widowed at 58, she
increasingly relied on her Church for companionship and support. Despite a close-knit and
supportive family, she needed more challenge and increased social contact to combat the
loneliness of living alone. At the age of 70, she volunteered to host a Bible Studies course at her
home. Before she could do so, she had to attend a three-month-long Bible Studies course; quite a
challenge for someone who left school in Standard 6. After receiving her diploma, she started
hosting a wide variety of people wanting to improve their knowledge of the Bible – young, old,
male, female, Koreans, South Africans, Cook Islanders, Maoris, even the occasional Australian.
This activity has seen her faculties still as sharp as ever at age 84, a testament to the benefit of
giving something back to the community.
Most of us tend to become more and more selfish as we get older. Working Bees at the
Kindergarten or at a friend’s house become distant memories as we get so caught up in our own
activities, just trying to get through life. Giving something back through community service will
make you realise there are a lot of people out there much worse off than you. It will also give
you the satisfaction of helping someone – those feel good warm fuzzies you may have been
missing for a while.
Growth/Development
Are you living your life or one that someone else designed for you? Are you initiating
events rather than waiting for someone else to do so? If you died today, would you have any
regrets? Is there something that you always wanted to do but never got round to it? The answer is
to develop a do it now attitude.
My wife is an example of someone who decided to just do it. Sue had always wanted to
spend six months touring USA. This had been discussed for many years without any firm plans
being made. There was always a five year plan that kept getting rolled over. One day, Sue
announced we were going next year, come what may. Bookings were duly made and
arrangements for house, cars, pets, business all taken care of with remarkably few dramas. Sue
resigned her job of 20 years with some regret but the trip was more important. Five and a half
months and 18,000 campervan miles later, she got an urgent email from her old boss saying
please come and see me as soon as you get back - her successor had resigned.
Within five days of her return, she was back in her old job but with a life-long dream
achieved and looking forward to her next adventure.
The prospect of changing careers is not as daunting as it was twenty years ago. It now
considered common for anyone starting work that they will have three different careers over their
working life. No longer is it necessary to plug away in the same old job for forty years. Instead
you can consider a complete change of career. Studies have shown that 70% of baby boomers
intend to work past 65; the majority of these intending to do so in a new job or in a new business.
This may entail education and retraining but anything is possible if you really want to achieve
your life-long goal.
How balanced is your life?
How smooth is your ride through life? Is your wheel even and delivering a smooth ride?
Work out how balanced your life is by ranking each sector.
Draw a Pie Graph with following sectors: Growth/Development Career/Money Recreation/Leisure Solitude/Wellness Home Improvement/Living Environment Family/Friends Community Service/Spiritual
The centre is 0, meaning you are very unhappy with that sector; the outer circumference
is 10, meaning you are completely satisfied with that part of your life. Draw a line across the
segment for each aspect of a Balanced Life.
Look at your completed wheel. Is it reasonably round, with all sectors rating much the
same? Or do you have big variations giving you a most uneven wheel and a bumpy ride through
life. Maybe it is time to devote some attention to those low rating segments to get a smooth ride
for the rest of your life.
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