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Chapter Eleven:Chapter Eleven: Interpersonal Relationships: Interpersonal Relationships:
Growth and DeteriorationGrowth and Deterioration
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TheInterpersonal
Communication Book 11th Ed.
TheInterpersonal
Communication Book 11th Ed.
Joseph A. DeVitoJoseph A. DeVito
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 2
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
After all, my erstwhile dear,
My no longer cherished.
Need we say it was not love,
Just because it perished?
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 3
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPTMENT
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 4
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Relationship DevelopmentRelationship Development
Uncertainty Reduction Theory
Social Penetration Theory
Relationship Dialectics Theory
Rules Theory Mic
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Attraction theoryAttraction theory
Developt relationships with those who are similar to you, who are physically close to you, who offer you reinforcement,whom you consider attractive physically and in personality, and who are of a desired socioeconomic and educational level
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 6
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Attraction TheoryAttraction Theory
Attractiveness
Appearance
Personality
Proximity
Similarity Matching Hypothesis
Complementarity
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Affinity-Seeking StrategiesAffinity-Seeking Strategies
Be of Help to Others
Appear In Control
Present Self as Socially Equal
Present Self as Comfortable
with Other
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Affinity-Seeking Strategies (continued)Affinity-Seeking Strategies (continued)
Allow Other Some Control
Follow Cultural Rules
Appear Active, Enthusiastic, Dynamic
Stimulate and Encourage Other To Talk
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Affinity-Seeking Strategies (continued)Affinity-Seeking Strategies (continued)
Engage In Self-Disclosure
Appear Optimistic
Appear to Other as
Independent
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Social Exchange TheorySocial Exchange Theory
Profits
Rewards
Costs
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Social Exchange TheorySocial Exchange Theory You develop relationships that will enable you
to maximize your profit (Thibaut & Kelley,1986)
A theory based on an economic model of profits and losses and begin with the following equation: Profits = Reward – Costs.
Enter & maintain relationships in which the rewards are greater than the cost. When the costs become greater than the rewards, the reason deteriorates
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 12
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Rewards: anything that you wuld incur costs to obtain
Types of rewards in a love relationships: money, status, love,information,goods (Baron & Byrne,1984)
Cost: things that you normally try to avoid,that you consider unpleasant or difficult
Profit: what results when the costs are subtracted from rewards.
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 13
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Comparison LevelsComparison Levels
Expectations for Profits in Relationship
Comparison Level for Alternatives
Profits from Another Relationship
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 14
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Equity TheoryEquity Theory
Ratio of Rewards and
Costs Equal to Partner’s
Underbenefited, Less
Likely to Succeed
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Equity theoryEquity theory
Develop and maintain relationships in which your ratio of rewards compared to cost is approximately equal to your partner’s
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 16
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Equity Theory (continued)Equity Theory (continued)
Relationship Satisfaction
and Equity
Equity, Culture, and
Gender
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
RELATIONSHIPS MAINTENANCE
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 18
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Relationship Maintenance BehaviorsRelationship Maintenance Behaviors
To Keep the Relationship Intact
To Keep the Relationship at its
Present Stage
To Keep the Relationship Satisfying
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 19
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Reasons For Relationship MaintenanceReasons For Relationship Maintenance
Emotional Attachment
Convenience
Children
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Reasons For Relationship Maintenance (continued)
Reasons For Relationship Maintenance (continued)
Fear
Inertia
Commitment Mic
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Rules for Maintaining RelationshipsRules for Maintaining Relationships
Friendship Rules
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 24
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Rules for Maintaining RelationshipsRules for Maintaining Relationships
Friendship Rules
Romantic Rules
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 25
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Communication for Maintaining RelationshipsCommunication for Maintaining Relationships
Be Nice : polite,cheerfull,friendly,avoid
critism,compromise, self -sacrifice
Communicate: talking about the honesty,& opennes
in relationships, talking about shared feelings
Be Open: direct discussion & listen to the other
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Communication for Maintaining Relationships (continued)
Communication for Maintaining Relationships (continued) Give Assurances: assure the other person of
the significance of the relationship.
Share Joint Activities: spend time with the
other
Be Positive: try to make interactions pleasant
and upbeat
Focus on Improving Yourself
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
RELATIONSHIPS
DETERIORATION
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 28
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Causes Relationship DeteriorationCauses Relationship Deterioration
Beliefs about Relationships
Excessive Intimacy Claims
Third-Party Relationships
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Relationship Deterioration (continued)Relationship Deterioration (continued)
Undefined Expectations
Sex-Related Problems
Work-Related Problems
Financial Difficulties Mic
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Effects of Relationship DeteriorationEffects of Relationship Deterioration
Loss of Benefits or Rewards
Loss of Self-Esteem
Financial Implications
Not all Breakups are Bad
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Communication in Relationship DeteriorationCommunication in Relationship Deterioration
Withdrawal
Decline in Self-Disclosure
Deception
Positive and Negative Messages
Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007 33
Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
RELATIONSHIPS REPAIR
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Relationship RepairRelationship Repair
Interpersonal RepairRecognize the ProblemEngage In Productive Communication
and Conflict ResolutionPose Possible SolutionsAffirm Each Other Integrate Solutions into Normal BehaviorRisk
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Intrapersonal RepairIntrapersonal Repair
Recognize Communication is Circular
Realize the Interactions are Punctuated
Stimulation and Response
Can Break Unproductive Circle
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Strategies for DisengagementStrategies for Disengagement
Use Positive Tone to Preserve
Relationship
Negative Identity Management
Justification for Breakup
Behavioral De-escalation
De-escalate to Reduce Exclusivity
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Chapter 11: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration
Dealing with a BreakupDealing with a Breakup
Break the Loneliness-Depression Cycle
Take Time Out
Bolster Self-Esteem
Remove or Avoid Uncomfortable Symbols
Seek Support
Avoid Repeating Negative Patterns
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