don't suck at verbal self-defense

Don’t Suck at Verbal Self-Defense

Have you ever been verbally attacked but didn’t quite know

how to respond?

It can be quite a frustrating experience!

It can be quite a frustrating experience!

Perhaps you tried to argue using facts, ...

It can be quite a frustrating experience!

Perhaps you tried to argue using facts, ... ...only to see the doubt remains on other people’s faces.

It can be quite a frustrating experience!

Perhaps you tried to argue using facts, ... ...only to see the doubt remains on other people’s faces.

Or the verbal attack completely stunned you, ...

It can be quite a frustrating experience!

Perhaps you tried to argue using facts, ... ...only to see the doubt remains on other people’s faces.

Or the verbal attack completely stunned you, ...

...but the longer you waited, the harder it became to do someting.

Disproving a preposterous accusation doesn’t accomplish a thing.

Disproving a preposterous accusation doesn’t accomplish a thing.

So what should you do?

First, understand that you were attacked...

First, understand that you were attacked...

... by the oldest trick in the book.

Basically, the pattern is always the same:

Basically, the pattern is always the same:

1.  A preposterous accusation is made against you.

Basically, the pattern is always the same:

1.  A preposterous accusation is made against you.

2.  You are shocked or completely stunned.

Basically, the pattern is always the same:

1.  A preposterous accusation is made against you.

2.  You are shocked or completely stunned. 3.  Disproving the accusation has no effect on

the observers.

Basically, the pattern is always the same:

1.  A preposterous accusation is made against you.

2.  You are shocked or completely stunned. 3.  Disproving the accusation has no effect on

the observers.

This sounds familiar, right?

Ridiculous accusation is the key.

It is a hook!

Hook needs to be shocking:

Hook needs to be shocking:

To distract you, ...

Hook needs to be shocking:

To distract you, ... ... to get you out of balance, ...

Hook needs to be shocking:

To distract you, ... ... to get you out of balance, ... ...to make you fight the wrong enemy,...

Hook needs to be shocking:

To distract you, ... ... to get you out of balance, ... ...to make you fight the wrong enemy,...

And to let the hidden implication stand!

Every minute you spend fighting the hook...

Every minute you spend fighting the hook...

...actually gives more and more weight to the implication.

So ignore the bait!

Don’t let the implication stand:

Don’t let the implication stand:

1.  Identify the real attack.

Don’t let the implication stand:

1.  Identify the real attack. 2.  Reveal it to everyone.

Don’t let the implication stand:

1.  Identify the real attack. 2.  Reveal it to everyone. 3.  Let the attacker try to explain himself /

herself.

It simply works, because:

It simply works, because:

Were you to start defending yourself, ...

It simply works, because:

Were you to start defending yourself, ... ...you would appear guilty whatever you say.

It simply works, because:

Were you to start defending yourself, ... ...you would appear guilty whatever you say.

While, by turning the tables (with a smile),...

It simply works, because:

Were you to start defending yourself, ... ...you would appear guilty whatever you say.

While, by turning the tables (with a smile),...

... you have put the attacker in a difficult position.

For example: - “If you really wanted us to get this project, you wouldn’t be CHATTING with the client all day long!”

For example: - “If you really wanted us to get this project, you wouldn’t be CHATTING with the client all day long!” (Gasp) - “I was actually explaining to him why we are

perfect for the job!!! Blah blah!”

For example: - “If you really wanted us to get this project, you wouldn’t be CHATTING with the client all day long!” (Gasp) - “I was actually explaining to him why we are

perfect for the job!!! Blah blah!”

WRONG

For example: - “If you really wanted us to get this project, you wouldn’t be CHATTING with the client all day long!” (Gasp) - “I was actually explaining to him why we are

perfect for the job!!! Blah blah!”

(Calm) - “When did you start thinking I DON’T care for this project?”

WRONG

A word of caution though:

A word of caution though:

“Why do you...” leads to a confrontation, ...

A word of caution though:

“Why do you...” leads to a confrontation, ...

...while “When did you...” is much more neutral.

You can also choose to retreat, ...

You can also choose to retreat, ...

... But dismiss the implication first:

You can also choose to retreat, ...

... But dismiss the implication first:

“Of course I care about the project.” – then change the subject.

It’s not always easy to do.

But it’s definitely doable...

It’s not always easy to do.

But it’s definitely doable...

...and you can start right away.

It’s not always easy to do.

Whatever you do:

Whatever you do:

Ignore the hook, and deal with the real attack.

Whatever you do:

Ignore the hook, and deal with the real attack.

(Your choices: neutral, confrontation, retreat.)

Before you leave:

This information could help other people you know.

Before you leave:

This information could help other people you know.

Share it!

Before you leave:

This information could help other people you know.

Share it!

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Before you leave:

Don’t Suck at Verbal Self-Defense, from www.OnSoftwareProjects.com

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